


The Sacrifices We Make: Answers We Seek

by Enchant



Series: Two Wardens Are Better Than One [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: All Three Hawke Siblings, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkwardly Getting To Know One Another, Blood and Gore, But Who Doesn't Lust Over Fenris At First Sight?, Carver being Carver, Drunk Hawke, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Failed Flirting With Aveline, Family Issues, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Going To Be A Looong Fic, Hawke & Varric Tethras Friendship, Hawke Being a Grump, Lowtown is a Shithole, Lust at First Sight, M/M, Multi, Protective Siblings, Snarky Hawke, Writing Well Ahead, rogue hawke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:10:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 228,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5299493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchant/pseuds/Enchant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke, Bethany and Carver might be free of servitude, but that doesn't mean their lives are any easier now. Hawke's especially is thrown for an even bigger loop when he starts falling hard for Fenris. Try as he might to bury those feelings down, they just won't go away. And a trouble-making Archdemon-killing Warden certainly isn't making any of that easier to deal with.</p><p>Honestly, if these boys aren't fucking before the Deep Roads expedition, I'll eat my own shoe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hawkes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my not-so-simple retelling of DA2.
> 
> Why's it not-so-simple, you ask?
> 
> Well, as the summary suggests, none of the Hawke siblings were turned into ogre paste and are thus all happily wandering around. (To those curious, my Surana killed the ogre before the ogre killed one of them. Very handy that- she was a bit miffed with ogres after watching the King get hugged to death by one and didn't fancy seeing that happen again).
> 
> I will also be having my Warden, Neri Surana, turn up later on because her boyfriend wandered off to Kirkwall without her. Speaking of Anders, he's not joined with Justice in this-I know, I know, BIG change. Whatever will I do with the Chantry at the end of the fic now!? Well, you'll just have to read to find out, won't you? ;)
> 
> You'll find I change things to suit my needs quite a bit in this. Like the terrible timeline at the start here? Yeah, I fixed the hell out of that by having the Hawke siblings do two years of servitude with Meeran, rather than one. I figured it would cost more to get three people into the city anyway. I also like changing up quests, so most while following the game's events, won't be quite as they are in the game- 'cause where would the fun in that be?
> 
> I do have to say, although I am loathe to do it because most of you won't want to give this a chance once I have, but this story is technically a sequel to my Awakening fic The Sacrifices We Make: Consequences of Choice. This will continue my Warden's story, once she arrives but I will be doing it in a way in which ALL can follow along. I'm rather good at that, explaining events without you ever having to click back to go read that first. Of course, I won't stop you if you do want to read a 300k Awakening fic *blushes* - yes in case you haven't noticed, I'm a word whore. Don't know when to shut up, me.
> 
> So, other than all that, this is a MHawke/Fenris romance fic. He's a rogue. And a total grump here at the start of the story-meeting Fenris loosens him right up though. I fully expect these two boys to be fucking before the end of Act 1 because they have no idea that the word slow burn even exists. And Neri and Anders are also in a relationship already in this- Neri's other boyfriend, Zevran (yes you read that correctly, she's very polyamorous) is currently in Rivain. You can expect him to make an appearance a bit after Neri does. And eventually-like Act 2 eventually- Anders, Neri and Zev will all be in a wonderful poly threesome. That's the plan at least!
> 
> Also, this story is rated M because my characters are potty mouths and like to fuck a lot.
> 
> Finally, you can follow me on tumblr under chanty92 to watch me flail about over DA hotties.
> 
> Oh and I need to throw out a huge thanks to ElyssaCousland for continuing to beta for me, you rock! And to Eclectify for the awesome artwork of Hawke and Fenris. Isn't it pretty!?
> 
> Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy this story! <3

 

 

 

 

Two years, two fucking years, that's how long Theo and his siblings had been working for that greasy haired prick of a man, Meeran, and the Red bloody Irons. Having fled from the Blight in Ferelden, it had been their only way into the city. Their family had an estate, once; a title and gold too, but their sleazy uncle had squandered it all. Thanks to him, the only way into the city had been through their uncle's contacts in the mercenary group. It had taken Theo, Carver and Bethany two years to pay off that debt, but now their contracts were  _finally_  over. All three of them were finally free.

"I'd say it's been a pleasure, but it really hasn't," Theo sneered dryly to the old mercenary. Part of him knew that burning this particular bridge probably wasn't the smartest move on his part, but he couldn't help but lose his cool whenever his family were put in danger, something Meeran had done repeatedly as their contracts neared an end.

"You piece of shit; you ought to be grateful!" Meeran spat, the wrinkles on his brow deepening with his fury as he threw his arms out at his sides.

" _Grateful?_ " Theo echoed incredulously. That was the  _last_  thing he felt toward the slippery bastard.

Meeran had been sending them out on more and more jobs, often back-to-back, as their servitude slowly drew to a close. Theo and the twins had been left completely exhausted by the end of it and their reaction times had suffered for it. All three of them had been injured at some point over the past few months and it had only served to make Theo all the more irate at Meeran for using them so carelessly. Simply put, he was sick and tired of the slave labour, the long hours, sleepless nights and Meeran's ugly mug always barking orders at him.

"Without me, you'd have been shipped off back to Ferelden long ago!" Meeran yelled.

Theo's lip curled in disgust. "I would have figured something else out," he stubbornly stated.

"The void you would have; you'd be nothing without me, dog."

"You fuck-"

Bethany suddenly grabbed a hold of his shoulders, stopping him from advancing on the merc. "We'll be leaving now," she said, her voice stern as she eyed the two of them with an unimpressed scowl.

She tightened her grip on her brother's arm, hoping his anger would abate quickly as it usually did. Theo and Meeran had been butting heads for months now and Bethany knew Theo was angry with the older man for overworking them all, for putting them in danger all of the time. But ending on such bad terms with one of the more successful mercenary companies in Kirkwall probably wasn't his finest moment, especially as the Red Irons had been the only thing protecting her from the Templars. With them gone - and now not even potential allies - Bethany couldn't help but worry. They had no plan, no idea what they would do next to get by, and that scared her more than she cared to admit. In Lothering it hadn't been so bad; she knew all of the Templar patrols, knew how to avoid them, but here in Kirkwall you could barely pop out to get freshly baked bread without running into the silver-plated horrors. It didn't help either that their patrols were less predictable; apparently the Knight Commander was zealous enough to constantly change the patrols in hopes of catching apostates out.

She tugged her brother back. "Theo, please," she begged. "Don't make a scene; what if the Templars see?" she cautioned.

It had the desired effect; Theo's anger dissipated and he took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. He gave her an apologetic look before he turned sharply and stormed away, back toward their home. She sighed and glanced at Carver, who was standing with his arms folded and looking unimpressed. He rolled his eyes at her and stalked off after their brother.

Bethany looked so sad, so worried, but there was little Carver could do to cheer up his twin when he was in such a gloomy mood himself. He was just as sick of Meeran as Theo was, and seeing as he was their only warrior, it was Carver leading most of the fights, keeping the bastards off of Bethany and his brother. Despite that, Theo was the only one he ever heard anyone talk about. They had even taken him to calling him  _Hawke_. It was fucking idiotic; that was their  _family_  name! Carver was a Hawke too and yet he never got mentioned.

But it had always been like this; people just seemed to be drawn to his brother's easy smiles and loud laughs. Even at Ostagar it had been that way, though Carver was better at fighting darkspawn, all because of Theo's wit and charm. From day one Meeran had trusted Theo to get stuff done, to be in charge and Bethany and Carver were just 'the help'. His fists clenched at his sides. All his life he had been on the sidelines as his brother continued to impress and provide for them all. But they were free of Meeran now and Carver could finally be free of his brother; he just had to figure out what he wanted to do.

Bethany came to stand at his side, giving him a small watery smile as she looked up at him. He sighed and continued walking, trying to catch up with Theo. He couldn't help but scoff a little as he looked ahead, realising that he was literally walking in his brother's huge shadow thanks to the setting sun in front of them. The Maker really did have a sense of humour.

**...**

Theo trudged up the steps to their hovel of a home with Carver and Bethany following closely behind. He opened the door and was greeted by the sound of a crackling fire, the bubbling of a stew, and their mother rushing forward.

"My children, free from that awful mercenary at last!" she said gleefully, relief pouring off of her as she grabbed hold of Theo and crushed him to her, holding him tight as her arms wrapped around him, squeezing.

" _Mother_ ," Theo whined as he tried to untangle himself from her arms but that only made her cling to him harder.

"Oh my sweet boy," she crooned before finally pulling away so that he might breathe again. He crossed the room and stirred the stew while mother hugged his siblings half to death. She had cooked up their favourite it seemed: chunky vegetables and beef all bubbling together in thick gravy: the Hawke family recipe. After the day they'd had, he couldn't wait to simply sit down and relax for a while. He was knackered.

"Do you have any plans yet?" his mother asked. "What will you all do for work now?" Theo could feel eyes on him before he turned around and shrugged. Of course everyone was looking to him for answers; he was the oldest, the man of the house, and it was always up to him to figure things out. Only he had no answers this time.

"I haven't thought about it yet, not with Meeran overworking us so much lately," he freely admitted as he turned and began cutting up some bread to go with the stew.

"We need to find work or  _something_ ," Bethany implored; the worry in her voice made his chest tighten with guilt. If he hadn't been such a dick to Meeran he might have been able to secure them a few more jobs to tide them over until they found something more permanent; it might also have allowed Bethany to maintain under the Red Iron's protection, at least for a little while. There was no chance of that now, though. "I won't be safe from the Templars now," she said apprehensively, making his shoulders tense as he continued to distract himself with menial tasks.

"The bloody Templars," Carver sighed roughly. "They're everywhere. How are we supposed to hide from them now?"

Why did his brother have to be such a bloody pessimist? Theo turned back around and glowered at him. "By doing whatever is necessary, as always," he replied sternly.

"I wasn't suggesting we give up!" Carver retorted indignantly, folding his arms crossly.

Theo ignored him, instead glancing at his sister who was being embraced by their mother still, offering her a reassuring smile. "It'll be alright, Beth; I won't let anything happen to you," he promised.

"Thank you," she replied sincerely, her doe-eyes looking a little less fearful now.

"A load of good that is considering you don't even know what we're going to do next!" Carver pointed out as he glared critically at him, his blue eyes looking extra icy tonight.

"Carver," Theo snapped wearily. "Can we please just have  _one_ night off before we start worrying about it all?" Carver at least had the good grace to look guilty as that glare dropped to the floorboards instead.

"Yes," his mother said. "This is supposed to be a night of celebration!" she insisted as she untangled herself from Bethany. "Come, let us eat together," she said as she made her way to the bubbling pot.

"Are we expecting uncle any time soon?" Theo asked, hoping that he would only need four bowls and not five. His mother shook her head.

"I don't think Gamlen will be home until later, dear. We'll save him some."

He sighed, nodding as he pulled the bowls out of the cupboard, adding bread to each before his mother served up the stew. Theo and his uncle usually didn't see  _eye to eye._  He exhaled roughly through his nose. That was a bloody understatement. His uncle knew just how to get under his skin; he was always so ungrateful and yet expected so much. Theo couldn't stand him.

They sat down and ate amicably. Mother filled them in on the usual gossip: so and so was pregnant, so and so had an abusive husband; Theo had listened to most of it before his mind wandered. Despite wanting a night off, he couldn't quite bring himself to fully do that. He was already making a list in his head of all the contacts he had made through the Red Irons, people he had come to trust, more or less, and others who he might be able to reach out to for work. The list wasn't very long, however. Sure, people liked him well enough; it was easy to get people to like you when you smiled and charmed them, but Theo tended to keep most people in this city at arm's length, if he could help it. He had learnt quickly that most people were only out for themselves. If he was going to find a new employer, he'd want to know he could trust them not to throw him and his siblings under the cart when something went wrong, and something  _always_  went wrong. That didn't leave them with many, if any, options as of right now and that worry was eating away at him.

The door creaked open then and Gamlen stumbled in; Theo's nose crinkled as he got a strong waft of just what Gamlen had been spending his evening doing. His uncle kicked the door shut behind him, making the house shake and dust fall from the rafters into Theo's remaining stew. His fists clenched in frustration. He could already tell that he was too tired, too on edge for this to end well with his uncle.

"What ye eating?" Gamlen asked, swaying a little on his feet as he moved toward the table.

"It's stew," Bethany said with a smile.

"We saved you some, Gamlen," his mother said. "It's in the pot."

"Bet it's bloody cold by now," he grumbled as he staggered over to it.

"I can warm it up again, if you like," Bethany said as she eyed her uncle warily. They all knew it was like walking on eggshells around their uncle when he was drunk. Unlike the rest of his family though, Theo never bothered. He always had been terrible at stopping himself from saying whatever he was feeling.

"No," Theo said, "Uncle can light a fire if he wants it warm; serves him right for not being here when it was served up."

"You little shit," Gamlen said, his words slurred as he levelled a stony glare at him. "This is  _my_  house, boy," he said with irate arrogance.  _Haven't heard that one before_ , Theo thought ruefully.

"I'd hardly call this a  _house_ , uncle," he retorted with a disdainful snort.

"It's a damned sight lot better than you deserve!" Gamlen shouted belligerently, throwing his arms out in annoyance as he took a threatening step forward.

"And it's a lot fucking less than we are owed!" Theo all but snarled as he pushed up to his feet to go nose to nose with his uncle.

"Boys! Stop it, please," his mother begged tearfully, her damp eyes flicking between them both, and just like that Theo's anger was gone. He sat back down in his chair, looking contrite. Gamlen, on the other hand let out a scathing chuff of laughter.

"Know what? I ain't hungry," he said before he stormed across the room and into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him, making yet more dust fall into Theo's now cold stew.

"I swear, I will get us out of this damned hovel even if it kills me," Theo sighed as he wearily shook the dust from his dark hair.

"Don't say such things, darling; the important thing is that we're all here, together, as a family," his mother said as she squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"It would be nice to live in that estate in Hightown though," Bethany said with a wistful smile.

"I doubt the Templars would bother us there," Carver agreed.

"Oh my beautiful children, one day we will live there and I will shower you all in presents," their mother said, her eyes sparkling with hope. Theo couldn't help but roll his eyes; he never had cared for any of that stuff. The only possible reason he could have for wanting that mansion back was to see his mother happy and Bethany safe. "You would look so handsome in a doublet, Carver, and Bethany, the dresses!" she said with a hint of longing in her voice.

Leandra knew her hopeful smile was tinged with sadness, but it was all she could manage. Just like her children, she was exhausted. She tried to keep their spirits up; she hated seeing them all so unhappy. Bethany was always so sick with worry, always fearing the Templars- although she did well to hide it most of the time. Carver was always brooding in his older brother's shadow, so rarely getting to see the light for himself. Her sweet little boy, she had tried to help him, tried to encourage him to pick up a hobby while they lived in Lothering; he was a natural with a sword and so very strong, but her first born always seemed to outshine him, through no fault of his own. He just had such easy charm, much like his father.

She hated to see how bitter and angry Theodore had become over the years, the past two being the worst for it; his smiles were rarer now, his laughs even more so. He worked so hard, all of the time, to keep them safe; since coming to Kirkwall she could count the days off he had taken on one hand, and even then he was usually doing something to keep himself busy. She knew he hated the mercenary company, so often he had come home furious, ranting about something or other before finally calming down enough to talk about it; on other days he would quietly brood over a drink, lost in his thoughts and his anger. The fuse of his temper had become shorter, too, since coming to this damned city, and he seemed to argue with Gamlen and Carver almost hourly. She hoped he would be happier now that they were free of the mercenaries, but she knew that was wishful thinking. Theo was always looking out for them, always pushing himself, and the fact that they didn't know what to do next was a worry they all held. She wanted so desperately for her beautiful children to be happy; it broke her heart to see them in such a way.

"I'm going to The Hanged Man," Theo said, rising from his seat. He knew it was selfish of him, but he could see the tearful look his mother was giving them all as the twins finished their supper and he knew that it meant she was thinking about how shite everything was and he really wasn't equipped to deal with that right now. "I'll try not to be too late," he said as he rose from his seat and kissed his mother's head. "Thank you for dinner," he added with a smile.

"I'll come with you," Carver decided, also rising from his chair. "Maker knows I could use a drink."

Theo nodded at his younger sibling, hoping that Carver had the common bloody sense not to piss him off tonight. He could still feel his temper bubbling far too close to the surface, like it was just waiting to properly explode. He looked to Bethany expectantly, and she smiled and nodded.

"Be safe, my children," their mother said as she pulled Carver and Bethany into a hug. "Try to enjoy yourselves. And here," she said handing Bethany some coin, "have a round on me."

"Oh mama," Bethany gushed, leaning into kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you!"

Theo managed to avoid any further hugs from his mother as he reached the door and headed outside. It was a warm evening with only a light breeze on the air, the sky lit up a dusty orange from all of the smoke the foundries pumped into it. He pulled up his scarf around his mouth and headed down the steps, hearing the door click shut behind him as Bethany and Carver followed after him.

Even from half way down the street, Theo could smell the tavern; the lovely stench of piss, vomit, cheap ale and desperation permeating the humid air. He grinned as he walked through the door. It had been months since he'd had a damned drink, let alone been able to just spend an evening at the tavern.

He walked straight to the bar, avoiding some of the less savoury clientele, and dropped a handful of coppers down onto the sticky wooden surface. "Three ales," he said to Corff before glancing over his shoulder, "oh and two meads for my siblings."

"Theo!" Bethany cried disapprovingly.

Corff chuckled, nodding his head as he began to fill their glasses. "Been a while since you were in here, Hawke."

"Yeah, this is my first night off in months. I plan on getting shit-faced, so keep the drinks coming."

"Alright," Corff smiled, and Theo could see Bethany shaking her head to his left.

Theo handed Bethany and Carver their drinks first before picking up the three glasses he'd ordered for himself and heading over to a table in the middle of the room. It was quite busy in the tavern tonight but he was glad for it; the noise of the drunks laughing and shouting around him helped to drown out everything else that was trying to drag him down. Not tonight; he was here to relax and he would damn well do just that. He guzzled down half a pint in seconds, much to Bethany's dismay.

"Theo, you've barely eaten today! Maybe slow it down a little?" she scolded softly, giving him a disapproving scowl. Theo looked up from his drink for a split second to cock an eye rather sardonically at his sister before he returned to downing the other half of his drink. He slammed it down on the table a moment later, wiping his lip of froth with a satisfied sigh, ignoring the scowls both of his siblings were giving him.

He picked up his second glass immediately after but slowed his drinking pace enough to talk with his siblings. He sat back in his chair, breathing in deeply. "I'm so glad I won't ever have to see that smug bastard ever again," he said with a relieved smile.

"You really think you won't? This city isn't  _that_  big," Carver reminded him dryly as he lifted his own glass to take a tentative sip of his mead.

Hawke snorted in derision. "Ah, there's that shining optimism again," he said sarcastically, making his brother give him a withering look from his glass in response.

"It wasn't all bad, you know," Bethany insisted. "It was always funny watching Meeran shout at the other mercenaries when they messed up," she giggled.

"His eye always did that  _twitching_  thing whenever they said or did something stupid," Theo reminisced, smiling at the memory.

"And that look that he always gave us just after, like  _are you hearing what I'm hearing?_ " Carver laughed.

"And then of course he asked  _us_  to fix their damned mess," Theo sighed. He chugged back more of his drink.

"And we always did; we were really rather good, weren't we?" Bethany said with a boastful smile as her hands cupped her flagon on the table.

"Perhaps we should start our own mercenary company; nobody would fuck with us then," Carver suggested all too seriously.

"We'd get carved up by every other mercenary group in the city before we even thought up a name," Theo said, shutting his brother's idea down with a rueful shake of his head. He looked at Bethany. "We need a title, money; we need to be somebody in order to keep you safe and preferably not somebody in the bloody undercity." He scratched his beard, running his fingers through the messy strands. "I don't know how we'll get any of those," he continued, "at least not yet."

"We'll think of something," Bethany said with a firm nod. He smiled and threw back the rest of his drink.

* * *

 

Varric had heard a lot about the Hawkes, and had even seen them on occasion from afar. They were downstairs now, drinking around a table together in perfect view of Varric's suite. He'd heard the most about the eldest son, whom everyone simply called Hawke – probably just to confuse people. He had heard a little of the sister's skill too - the apostate, Bethany, fond of her fire spells - but less so of the other brother, whose name he had forgotten entirely.

The Hawkes were laughing and drinking; the eldest Hawke had downed several flagons of ale since his arrival, and was teasing the younger brother, if the look of offence on the lad's face was anything to go by. Varric grinned to himself, a plan formulating in his mind; they would be perfect, he just had to introduce himself first. He decided to leave it for the night; they were busy celebrating their newfound freedom, so it was no time for a business proposition. He closed the door to his suite, still smiling smugly, and opened the new journal he'd bought that afternoon, and started to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! It's ridiculous how nervous I am about everyone meeting Theo for the first time, but hopefully this opening chapter was enjoyable. I swear, he won't always be this grumpy! Any and all feedback is welcome, of course! And if you have any questions, do feel free to comment!
> 
> I will be updating weekly for a while, usually on a Friday, but it's best to Subscribe just in case I'm late one time with it.
> 
> Thank you all again for reading!


	2. A Business Proposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Varric time!

Theo jolted awake as an armoured boot kicked him in the shin, making him groan. "Move it!" a voice said from above him, and Theo blinked his eyes open, only to hiss in pain as a ray of sunlight hit him square in the face, burning his light-sensitive eyes. He shielded them with a hand, frowning at the pounding headache just now making itself known.

"You can't stay here looking like that," the man growled down at him. Theo frowned and squinted down at his appearance, noting the way his shirt hung out from under his armour, and Maker, were his legs wide open? Nice to know he'd probably flashed a few people while passed out on the street thanks to the armoured leather  _thing_  he always wore. He closed his bare legs with a sheepish smile and tried to look back up at the armoured man before him.

"Could you move slightly to your left, please?" Theo asked the man standing over him.

He actually obliged, shifting on his feet slightly to block out the sun, and Theo was finally able to see just who the man was: city guard. He really should have realised sooner but the ogre stamping around in his head was a tad distracting. Well, at least it wasn't Aveline. She would have grabbed him by the ear and hauled him to his feet by now _._

He gave the guard a crooked smile. "I was just admiring the fine pavement here; have you seen how nicely tiled it is?"

"Just get a move on," the guard said.

There was a slight smirk at the guard's lips as he shifted to the side, and Theo cried out as he immediately found himself blinded once more by the stupidly bright sun. This sort of shit never happened back in Ferelden; it was always cloudy there. The guard just chuckled as he wandered off to carry on with his patrol.

Theo groaned as he rubbed his face, running his fingers over his rough and sticky beard. That was when he noticed the tiles he had so charmingly pointed out were actually  _Hightown_  tiles. He really was an idiot when hungover. He looked up, and, sure enough, there was the bright red rose of The Blooming Rose. He immediately checked the hidden pocket in his armour and groaned; his emergency silver was gone. He sighed heavily and slumped back against the wall behind him. He must have spent it on a whore and  _more_  drink, if the state of his head was anything to go by. He let out a humourless laugh as he ran a hand through his thick hair. It was always the way of things; he fucked whores when he was drunk so he wouldn't remember them come morning, because it was easier, and safer, that way. No chance for him to get attached to them.

His mood, despite the hangover, however, was rather good; he no longer felt the anger bubbling just under the surface or the tired irritation he seemed to have been shrouded in for the past few months, with just about anything making him lose his temper. He hoped that it was simply because he had finally had a drink and a good fuck, and not because his anger had been let loose on something, or someone.

He straightened his crooked armour, tucked his shirt in and retied his boots, shaking his head. It really was a miracle he hadn't been mugged. Although it was possible the thugs in Hightown hadn't seen anything worth taking, and they wouldn't have been wrong; he needed new boots and he wouldn't say no to some new armour, either, but for now, finding work and putting food on the table was more important.

He got up slowly, carefully, breathing through the nausea, and headed for the steps that would take him to Lowtown. Lucky for him, it was still too early for most people to be out and about, which meant less noise to deal with in his lethargic state; not so lucky for him, he'd been out all night and his mother would probably be worried sick by now.

* * *

 

Theo arrived home just as the stalls in the market were setting up for the day, and he braced himself as he opened the door, expecting to get rushed off of his feet by mother. Instead, he found only Bethany sitting quietly at the table eating some bread and jam. She gave him a small smile as he entered, one that didn't quite reach her eyes. That probably wasn't a good sign. He shut the door behind him and headed to the table, trying for a bright smile - those usually cheered his sister up.

"Hello, sis," he said, his voice sounding a little gruff as he took a seat at the table with her.

"About time you got home," she said. His gut twisted. She sounded pissed. "We were worried."

"I'm sorry." Sighing, he picked up the pot of tea and poured himself a cup.

"You should be," she said firmly. Her gaze softened. "How do you feel?"

"Like there's an ogre stamping on my head," he replied with a weary smile. He lifted his mug to his lips and inhaled deeply, breathing in the rich aroma, welcoming the sweet relief such a smell offered, even if it was brief.

"Serves you right," she said with a sadistic glint to her eyes that only a sister could have, "I warned you not to drink that much, but did you listen?" He winced slightly as her voice got louder and he looked up at her remorsefully. "Where did you even end up?" she asked, eyes slightly narrowed.

"Hightown," he said before taking a long swallow of the steamy drink in his hand; he smiled slightly as the cinnamon and chocolate tea slipped down his throat: his favourite. "I woke up outside The Blooming Rose with my emergency coin gone."

"Oh, Theo."

"I know," he said, sighing as he held the mug with both hands, enjoying the warmth slowly spreading through him. "I don't remember spending it, but I assume I did. I doubt many muggers would have found that hidden pocket."

"How much of last night  _do_  you remember?" she asked, looking up from her cup as she blew on her tea.

He swallowed and sat forward. "Not much…" He tilted his head in question as he watched his sister stare down at her drink, avoiding his gaze. "Bethany, what did I do?" he asked seriously.

"Would you like a bath?" she suddenly asked as she got to her feet. "You smell a bit ripe."

He scowled at her. "I would love one… but don't change the subject."

She darted off into the washroom and Theo shoved his chair back and followed her, watching from the doorway as she first cast the ice spell and then let flames lick across her hands, slowly melting the shards of ice.

"Bethany…" he said warningly as she began to hum while casting her magic, still avoiding his question. She was protecting him, he realised. Trying to stop him from feeling guilty for whatever he had done. He'd rather just know so he could fix it. The water began to bubble as steam rose, filling the small room, and she finally got back to her feet and approached him, a bit red and sweaty in the face.

When he wouldn't let her past him in the doorway, she finally sighed and looked him in the eye.

"You and Carver got into a fight."

Theo slumped back against the doorframe, hanging his head as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Shit," he muttered. That certainly explained why he wasn't angry anymore.

"You punched him, gave him a split lip," she explained. "I don't know what you were arguing about; I came back from the privy and you were just swinging at one another. Even drunk, you were too fast for Carver to land a punch and that only angered him further. We got thrown out of The Hanged Man and you stormed off up toward Hightown."

He glanced at Bethany, feeling the guilt weigh on him like a physical thing. "I assume he's out with mother?"

His sister nodded. "They went to the Alienage to get some fresh herbs. Mother was worried sick when you didn't come home all night, so Carver suggested some shopping to try to calm her down. We told her you'd be fine, but you know how she is."

He nodded guiltily and Bethany squeezed his shoulder. "Have your bath; you'll feel better." She slipped past him and he closed the door behind her.

He shrugged out of his clothing, wincing slightly as he suddenly noticed the giant bruise on his hip. He rolled his eyes. He must have bumped into something during the fight or something to get a bruise that big. He sighed, suddenly feeling very bone-weary, and slipped into the steaming bath.

He was such an idiot sometimes. He shouldn't have been drinking at all knowing how short the fuse of his temper had gotten. He should have just stayed in; he would have gotten a decent night's sleep then and would have woken up refreshed, his anger and irritation most likely gone. Instead he got drunk, took it all out on his brother, wasted the precious little coin that they had, and was now sleep-deprived and hungover.  _Excellent work_ , he scolded himself sarcastically. Oh he was never going to hear the end of this from Carver _. I bet he hasn't even had the split lip healed_ , he thought ruefully; it would be just like his brother to show something like that off. He shook his head as he began washing his hair. But Carver  _knew_  how volatile he had been lately, so he must have done or said  _something_  to start the fight, something that made Theo flip out on him. Still, violence was a shitty answer to anger. He always seemed to lash out, his anger burning through him so hot and ferocious, and then it would just fizzle out as quickly as it had appeared and he would be left feeling guilty. He hated it.

He finished washing his hair and body, and then slipped out of the bath, dried himself and put on some clean clothes. When he came back through to the living room, Bethany was putting some pancakes onto his plate and he smiled at her bemusedly.

"Is it my birthday?" he asked as he took a seat at the table.

"I hope not," she sighed with a smile. "But well, despite certain people's behaviour last night, I figured we deserved to celebrate a bit. And it's been ages since we had pancakes."

"It has." He hummed appreciatively around a mouthful of them. "Thank you," he said earnestly, smiling.

Mother took that moment to return from her shopping trip. As soon as she saw Theo at the table she sighed in relief and rushed to his side, checking him over before hugging him tight. He nearly choked on his pancakes as he tried to untangle himself from her tight grasp.

"I'm alright, mother," he groaned. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"I hate it when you don't come home," she said against his neck before pulling back and kissing the top of his head instead.

"Where's Carver?" Bethany asked.

"Oh, he started talking to some men on the way home, something about some work. I left him to it; I doubt anyone would want to hire him with his mother sniffing around," she said with a self-effacing smile.

"Let's hope he's found something good," Theo muttered a little guiltily. It should be him out there, looking for work for them all; that was his  _job_. Instead he was hanging out and stuffing his face with pancakes, wasting precious time.

Mother settled down at the table with them, happily tucking into some of the pancakes and tea. She filled them in on yet more Lowtown gossip, which Bethany eagerly listened to. It really was remarkable just how much drama there was in just the surrounding area, although Theo supposed he had only added to that, considering the ruckus he'd caused at The Hanged Man just last night.

Carver returned home not long after. Theo had expected him to be somewhat brooding still, but instead he had a smug smile plastered across his face. He must have been successful. "I think I've got a solution to our Templar problem," Carver boasted, standing between Theo and Bethany.

Theo winced slightly, both from the loudness of Carver's voice making his head throb and the fact that he'd just said 'Templar problem' loud enough for the neighbours to hear. "Fancy shouting that any louder?" Theo admonished sarcastically.

Carver glared at him, but took a seat quietly at the table on the other side of Bethany, giving Theo a better view of that split lip of his. He was right; Carver hadn't let Bethany heal it. Well it wasn't going to work. Theo wasn't going to let his brother guilt trip him when he couldn't even remember why they had been fighting in the first place.

"The dwarven Merchant's Guild in Hightown are planning an expedition," Carver went on to explain. "They're going to the Deep Roads."

Theo  _did_  choke on his pancakes that time, and his mother had to slap him on his back to clear his throat. "The  _Deep Roads_ ," he wheezed out incredulously, once he could breathe again, his eyes watering.

Carver puffed out his chest as he levelled a stony glare at Theo. "They say there's treasure down there, enough to set someone up for life. And after a Blight, the Deep Roads are quieter, so there should be less darkspawn around," he explained. "We just have to convince the dwarf in charge to let us in on the expedition and we could get enough coin to buy back the estate."

"The Deep Roads," Theo echoed tonelessly.

"The Merchant's Guild wouldn't be organising all of this if they weren't certain it was worth it," Carver retorted indignantly. "And it makes sense, about the darkspawn; they all went to the surface during the Blight so now they're all scattered or dead." Carver's eyes flicked to each of them, as he tried to gauge everyone's reaction.

"Darling, that still sounds awfully dangerous," their mother worried.

"Not much more dangerous than the work we were forced to do the past two years," Carver shot back dryly, making their mother's face crumple with sadness and guilt.

Theo glared at his brother. "Real nice," he bit out sarcastically.

Carver sighed. "It could be our best chance," he urged.

"We should try," Bethany said, her garnet eyes hard now that she had made up her mind. "Getting in with the Guild doesn't sound like a bad idea, and if it means we get coin…"

They both looked to Theo, waiting for his reply. Carver seemed to take his silence as rejection and clenched his jaw. "Unless you had some bright idea while you were sloshed last night, brother, this is all we have right now," he argued.

"Alright," Theo relented. It couldn't hurt to at least  _speak_  with the Merchant's Guild. "Just how do we convince this dwarf to let us in on the expedition, though?"

"I thought we could try asking nicely, first," Carver replied with a gleam in his eyes.

Theo snorted in amusement. "Then we might as well go now." He got to his feet. "We'll be back in a bit, mother," he said with a kiss to her cheek; she smiled weakly at him, obviously not too pleased with this plan of theirs. He glanced at Carver. "Lead on, brother," he said with a slight smirk as Carver gave him a surprised look.

Carver cleared his throat roughly and marched purposefully to the door with Theo and Bethany following close behind.

"You're incorrigible," Bethany whispered as she elbowed him in the side. Theo just snickered back.

…

"This is the sort of venture that can make a man for life! I'm not about to take any chances hiring random humans," the dwarf spat.

"We're not  _random_  humans, we're very nice humans," Theo corrected with a charming smile, although the dwarf's stony glare seemed to deflect it right off.

"Half of Kirkwall wants to be my friend right now, human," the dwarf, Bartrand, huffed out as he continued to walk, away from them. "The answer's no; go pester someone else!" He threw his arms in the air and Theo sighed.

"Well, asking nicely didn't work. What's plan B?" Theo quipped, looking to his two siblings.

Bethany let out a shaky breath, her eyes damp. "We've got nothing to stop the next person who tries to sell us out. This expedition could have saved us!"

"Oh, I'm sure there'll be other expeditions to the Deep Roads, don't you worry," Theo said, trying for levity but Bethany's lip just trembled in response and he smiled sadly. "It'll be alright. We're not going to give up that easily, right Carver?"

"Right," he said firmly.

"Perhaps Gamlen knows someone who can talk to Bartrand for us?" Bethany asked hopefully, sniffing slightly.

"Our uncle's not exactly the most reliable tool in the shed, now is he?" Carver scoffed with a sympathetic glance at their sister.

"You're wrong," Theo said, "he's very reliable; you can always trust him to  _be_  a tool."

Carver snorted derisively with a shake of his head as they all headed out of the Merchant's Guild.

"What about Meeran?" Bethany asked, obviously desperate at this point.

"Maker's bloated beer belly! He's the last person I want to owe anything to ever again," Theo grumbled. It was just then that a red haired man slammed into him, knocking him back a step as he ran past him. Theo instinctively checked his coin pouch and snarled as he realised the bastard had snatched it. He whirled on the thief and gave chase.

Theo had always been fast, and he caught the thief just as he rounded a corner. He lunged forward, tackling the man just as he heard the twang of something metallic, and then felt searing pain explode out of his arm as he hit the ground with a thud. He hissed as he stared down at the crossbow bolt embedded in his upper arm, the pain making him grit his teeth. Bethany gasped from somewhere behind him but he ignored her in favour of snarling up at the dwarf who was staring on in disbelief, still holding the crossbow responsible for putting a bolt in his arm.

"Shit," the dwarf muttered as he folded the crossbow down and put it away on his back. "That's not how I wanted this to go."

Theo glared up at him, teeth clenched. "And just how did you  _want_  it to go?"

"Well, I was planning on being the daring hero, stopping this thief and saving your coin purse in the process. Would have made for a better introduction," he mumbled, sighing heavily.

"This was all a fucking set up so you could meet me?" Theo scoffed. "I'm flattered," he said through his teeth as he staggered to his feet, grimacing as pain shot down his arm. He snatched his coin purse off of the thief before he waved him off. He turned back to the contrite looking dwarf. "Who are you?"

The dwarf chuckled awkwardly under Theo's incensed glare. "Varric Tethras, at your service." He bowed a little. "I was going to apologise about Bartrand, before I… accidentally shot you," he muttered ruefully. "He wouldn't know an opportunity if it hit him square in the jaw."

"Ah, so you're supposed to be the nice brother, then?" Theo asked as he pulled out the bolt from his arm with a hiss and tossed it to the ground. Varric watched on, wincing slightly. "Sorry, but I'm finding that a little difficult to believe right now," Theo bit out.

Varric rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, can't really blame you there… Really sorry about that. In my defence though, you move damned fast. I'd have had him dead to rights otherwise, and I was trying to make an impression."

"You certainly managed that," Theo said as he inspected the wound with a twist of his lips. It wasn't too deep but it was bleeding quite a bit. Bethany pulled his hands away and began wrapping a bandage around his arm, pulling it tight to stop the bleeding. "Still not really seeing how this makes you the nice one," Theo said, arching a sardonic brow at the dwarf as he lifted his arm, checking there wasn't any nerve damage.

"Well, normally I'd say anyone would look nice next to Bartrand; he's almost always grumpy," Varric said with a pained twist of his lips like he was hoping his levity was enough to salvage the situation after his cock up. Theo's anger had subsided but he wasn't about to let the dwarf off of the hook quite so easily.

"A grumpy dwarf, how surprising," Theo drawled.

"But hey! At least I only shot your arm; my brother shot you down entirely," Varric said with a crooked grin.

Theo chuffed out a laugh. "Alright, I have to admit, that was pretty good."

Varric grinned, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. "I knew you'd come around," Varric said, his eyes sparkling. "You see, what my brother doesn't realise is that we need someone like you, Hawke," he said.

Theo couldn't help the rueful smile that tugged up his lips; oh this dwarf was good, already putting them at ease with humour, getting all of their attention, and now he was boosting Theo's ego too. He didn't usually trust people who were overly charming because they were always hiding something nasty underneath those fake smiles, but the dwarf before him at least seemed genuine.

"He would never admit such a thing, of course – he's too proud; I however, am quite practical," Varric finished.

"You clearly went to a lot of trouble just to meet us," Theo said with a withering glance at the dwarf. "What makes you so certain we can help?"

Varric smiled. "You've made quite the name for yourself these past two years. The name 'Hawke' is on many lips these days."

"You're not wrong about that," Theo said with a smirk as he suddenly recalled just who he had spent his coin on last night. Varric chuckled, shaking his head despairingly as both of Theo's siblings groaned at his bad joke. He cleared his throat. "So you  _only_  know about me?" he asked a little more apprehensively.

"I know about Bethany," Varric admitted cautiously, giving Theo's sister a small smile, "and her fondness for fire." Theo tensed and he could see Carver and Bethany shift out of the corner of his eye but the dwarf lifted his hands placatingly. "Fear not, madam, your secrets are safe with me," he assured her.

"Good," his sister said, "It really would be a shame to have to set you on fire."

Varric chuckled as Bethany smiled at him.

Theo shifted on his feet, leaning back on his heels. "So, you heard much about Carver?" he asked, unable to hide the smirk from his face.

"Ah, that was the name!" Varric said in realisation, clicking his fingers. Carver visibly bristled next to him and Theo had to stifle a laugh.

"So, you think you can get us on this expedition, Varric?" his sister asked, that hopeful tinge back in her voice again.

"Oh I know I can, Sunshine," Varric replied with a charming smile. "We don't need another hired guard; we need a  _partner_ ," he explained. "The truth is, Bartrand's been tearing his beard out trying to fund this on his own, but he can't do it."

"Oh so  _that's_  what happened to your own beard, is it?" Theo asked as he eyed the dwarf's hairless chin, only just realising how odd it was.

Varric chuckled. "I never have been able to grow a beard as fine as your own, Hawke, but I'd like to think the chest hair more than makes up for it."

"Mmm, you must be very proud of it all. I've seen whores with less chest on show than you," Theo ribbed whimsically.

"Oh-ho, and I've seen women with longer skirts than you, Hawke," Varric quipped back just as quickly.

Theo scowled. "It's not a skirt," he argued. "It's an armoured, leather… _thing_."

"Revealing, is what it is. I can see your thighs from a mile away," Varric joked.

"And yet you still managed to shoot me," Theo said with a wry twist of his lips.

Varric sighed. "I'm never gonna live that down, am I?"

"Nope," Theo said cheerfully. "Sure you still want us on this expedition?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

"Ah yes, as I was saying.  _Invest_  in the expedition. Fifty sovereigns and Bartrand can't refuse. Not with me there to vouch for you."

Hawke let out a short derisive snort. "That all sounds well and good… there's just one tiny, minuscule problem: I don't  _have_  fifty sovereigns. If I did, I wouldn't need to get onto this expedition."

"You need to think big!" Varric exclaimed. "There's only a short window after a Blight when the Deep Roads won't be crawling with darkspawn. The treasure you find down there could set you up for life!"

"It won't be easy," Bethany said, "But if it's a chance, I think we should take it."

"It's worth it, I know it is," Carver agreed.

"We work together, you and I," Varric began, "and before you know it, you'll have all the capital you need. What do you say?" he said, smiling up at him hopefully, copper eyes shining brightly.

Theo wasn't sure any of this was a good idea, but they did need the coin, and between the smiling dwarf, the puppy eyes Bethany was giving him, and the stern look his brother had, Theo was finding it very hard to say no. And it wasn't like he had a better alternative, not yet at least.

Theo sighed out roughly through his nose. "Okay, okay, you have yourself a deal," he relented.

"Perfect! I'll stick with you for a while then – see if we can't find some work. We'll have the money in no time, Hawke. And if you ever need to find me, I'll be in The Hanged Man – I'll always be there when I'm not with you."

"Oh," Theo said rubbing his forearms awkwardly. "Always? You an alcoholic or…?"

"Did you really just ask the dwarf that?" Varric asked chuckling throatily. "But I may or may not have a suite there."

"Varric, that  _really_  should have been your opener," Theo said in wry amusement, making Varric laugh and shake his head ruefully. "Let's head there now. I'd like to get to know my future business partner a bit better."

"In other words, he wants another drink," Bethany said with a weary smile.

"Because that always ends so well," Carver droned.

Theo rolled his eyes. "We just entered into a new partnership! That's something worth celebrating, Carver."

They headed down the steps together and into Hightown's busy market, passing all of the nobles gathered around the stalls there. Theo did his best to ignore the looks they gave their group, the disdainful glares and the disgusted gasps, but he couldn't stop the hatred rolling off of him in droves. They thought they were so much better than him just because they had been born with more coin; it was ridiculous. Most of them hadn't done an honest day's work their entire lives. How exactly did that make them better people than the rest of Kirkwall?

"You know, Junior, it's eerie how much of a resemblance there is between you two," Varric said from behind him, his tone conversational. Even without looking at Carver, Theo could tell his brother was probably rolling his eyes.

"We're brothers," Carver bit out, obviously wishing it weren't true. "What's eerie about that?"

"Ooh, you thought I meant Hawke!" Varric laughed. "I was talking about Gamlen."

Theo laughed into the back of his hand and Bethany elbowed him in the ribs, shooting him a dirty look even though she was smiling too.

"I've known you five minutes and I already hate you, dwarf."

Theo turned, laughing as he walked backwards, "Don't mind him, Varric; he hates everyone and everything."

"At least I have a good reason to hate you," Carver spat. Theo had been expecting this all day, but he still blanched a bit upon hearing his brother speak so venomously. Carver tended to let his anger out bit by bit - like lifting the lid from a kettle to let out a little steam before closing it again. It meant he held onto his anger much longer and usually ended up making snide or bitter comments until he'd finally got it out of his system. Unfortunately for Theo, he seemed to always anger his brother and so that kettle was never quite empty.

"Carver," Bethany scolded, shaking her head in warning.

"What?  _He_  hit  _me_."

"I did you a favour!" Theo cajoled, even as his gut twisted with guilt. "The split lip look suits you, brother; it makes you look tough."

"Right, you'll have the ladies eating out of the palm of your hand in no time," Varric added. "If you need help embellishing your story, I'm your guy. Best not to say you got your ass handed to you by your brother though; that's just bad story telling."

"It's not like anybody notices me when Theo's around anyway," Carver grumbled under his breath.

Theo still heard him though, and he turned back around, sighing. How long were they going to be at each other's throats? Carver seemed to resent every little thing Theo did. It hadn't always been like this, he was sure. There was a time when they were close, when they did everything together. But then father had died and Carver had blamed Theo, and rightly so; it was his fault after all. He swallowed thickly, not wanting to think about it.

"You're looking at this all wrong, Junior," Varric began.

"Whatever it is you're about to say, I'm not interested," Carver insisted, his tone sounding both irritated and exasperated.

"I'm a professional younger brother," Varric carried on. "Trust me; the centre of attention's the worst place to be. When things go wrong, and they always do, that's where the fingers point. Look at any kingdom in Thedas. You've got people who warm thrones, and people nobody sees who do the real work."

"So my brother is a king now? Just what he needed."

"Point. Missing it. Ah well."

"You don't seem to like your brother very much, Varric," Bethany said as she slowed enough to walk alongside Varric as the descended the steps to Lowtown.

"And here I thought it took blood magic to read minds," Varric scoffed.

She giggled. "Maybe I  _am_  a blood mage; maybe I'm in your head right now," she said, smiling.

"Well, Sunshine, of all the people to have poking around my head, you'd be the least terrifying. Just make sure to leave me with some happy thoughts, hmm?"

"Think you could return the favour?" she asked softly.

"I'll do you one better; I'll make sure that you and your family are set up for life," Varric said, sounding earnest.

Theo glanced over his shoulder, catching sight of the bright watery smile Bethany gave Varric, his heart fluttering at the sight. Bethany needed this, perhaps more than even mother did; she was, after all, the one most at risk in this city of chains. He hoped Varric and Bartrand weren't scamming them all, planning on taking the money raised and leaving town with it. He rubbed his beard, frowning slightly. He hated that he was so mistrustful of people, but more often than not his caution  _had_  saved them on bad jobs.

Except for the whole getting shot thing, though, he had a pretty good feeling about Varric. Actually, he had a pretty good feeling about the whole expedition. Going in as partners was a damn sight better than just being paid grunts, told to dig and check tunnels. And if they were partners, they would get an even share of the profits; they really might stand a chance at buying back the Amell estate if what they found down there was good – assuming they didn't all get eaten by darkspawn, of course. He smiled and walked with a bit more of a bounce in his steps as they continued on to The Hanged Man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to those who have commented so far! And to Lys, my beta. You all rock. 
> 
> I will be updating again on **Sunday** because the next chapter is little. So you lucky buggers get two updates this week. 
> 
> <3


	3. Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, extra update this week because it's a short one. Hooopefully it's not totally dull despite being all dialogue, still. The next two updates will have some actionnn, I promise.
> 
> Thanks a bunch for the comments and support! <3 And a super big thanks to ElyssaCousland for the beta.
> 
>  See you on Friday!

The stench that clung to the streets around The Hanged Man was staler than it had been the night before, and it made Theo's nose wrinkle, his stomach still apparently a little queasy. Not that he would let that stop him from having a drink, of course.

It was quiet in the main room and Norah was busy wiping down the tables. She frowned at Theo as he entered and immediately straightened. "You're not supposed to be in here, not after last night."

"Now come on, Norah," Varric said, slapping on the charm. "So he got into a bit of scrap with his brother. No big deal."

"They broke one of the tables," she complained.

"These old things? They break if you sneeze too loudly," Varric argued. "They didn't mean anything by it and I'm sure it won't happen again. So what do you say?"

She sighed through her nose, looking like she would regret it, but nodded all the same.

"Thank you!" Theo said as he stepped forward and kissed her on the cheek. She blushed, smiling slightly. He wasn't sure what he would have done if he'd have been banned from the tavern. Probably find some equally dank piss-hole to drink at. But he liked how dank  _this_  piss-hole was.

Carver shook his head, eyes narrowed as Theo grabbed two drinks from the bar.

Theo cocked a brow at his brother. "What?" he asked.

"Haven't you had enough to drink in the last twenty four hours?" Carver asked, unimpressed.

"I don't want to punch you yet, so  _no,_ " Theo sniped as he brushed past him, ignoring the rude words Carver muttered under his breath - he was so done listening to his brother whine today - and headed up the stairs to Varric's suite. He had to admit, he hadn't thought The Hanged Man, of all places, would have particularly nice rooms, and he had been wondering why the dwarf would willingly live somewhere like this when he could be up in Hightown, but Varric's suite was cosy, well-furnished and surprisingly spacious.

Bethany closed the door behind them all and they all settled down at the low table. Theo shifted in his seat, stretching his long legs out so his knees didn't hit the damned thing. Bethany came to sit to his right and immediately began untying the bandage around his arm so that she could properly heal the wound. Blood had started seeping through it on the walk down here and most of his arm was still stained red. He took a few tentative sips of his ale, letting Bethany's cool healing magic wash over his arm, before glancing to the dwarf with a smile.

"So,  _partner_ , let's talk."

"Whaddya wanna talk about?" Varric asked with an amiable grin.

Theo smiled and nodded in the direction of Varric's crossbow. "Had it long?"

"Bianca?" Varric's face lit up in excitement. "We've been inseparable for a while now."

"Of course you named the crossbow," Carver said with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, remind me not to piss Bianca off," Theo carried on, "she's got quite a bite."

"Doesn't she just?" Varric said proudly as he stroked the crossbow leaning against the side of his chair. Theo chuckled. He didn't trust Varric, not yet, but he had to admit, he did rather like him, despite the hole in his arm.

They chatted for what felt like hours, until Theo finally reached the point where he was happily buzzed from the ales he'd been drinking. Somehow they had ended up talking about the Blight and Ostagar, which would have been quite a sombre topic if it weren't for the dwarf being so enraptured by their story.

"Seems like you've made quite a habit of getting impaled with sharp objects, Hawke," Varric said good-humouredly in response to Theo explaining how his leg had been shot by a darkspawn arrow as they fled Ostagar. Theo snorted in response, shaking his head ruefully.

"A hard habit to shrug, it seems," he commented dryly as he eyed Bianca with narrowed eyes.

"Oh stop, you'll hurt her feelings," Varric chastised with a smile. "So, what happened next?" the dwarf asked as he rested his elbows on the table.

"That's when Neria Surana's barrier appeared," Carver said. "It cast the entire battlefield in an eerie blue glow and stopped the darkspawn from advancing for a bit so we could all escape."

"I heard about that," Varric said. "I just assumed it was an exaggeration."

"That's not even the best bit," Theo said, eyes sparkling mischievously. Varric leaned forward in his seat as he waited with baited breath. "We met her - Neria, that is - while trying to reach our home. She was badly injured but alive; saved us yet again from some darkspawn before passing out. So we took her home with us."

"Shit," Varric muttered, "You better not be fucking with me right now, Hawke."

Theo laughed, lifting his hands placatingly, "I'm not, I swear." He looked to his siblings who both nodded in response.

"I patched her up," Bethany said. "Even gave her some of my old robes."

"We had to flee again shortly after," Theo explained. "I doubt we would have all gotten out of there alive if it weren't for Neria."

"Or the dragon," Carver added.

" _Dragon?"_  Varric practically choked on the word.

They all smiled at the incredulous look on the dwarf's face. "Mm, it does sound mad," Bethany admitted.

"Would have sounded madder if we had ridden on her back all the way to Kirkwall," Carver pointed out, making Bethany chuff out a laugh. Varric watched them all dubiously, eyes slightly narrowed like he wasn't sure if they were having him on or not.

"It was the Witch of the Wilds," Theo clarified.

" _The_  Witch of the Wilds!?" They all nodded avidly. "Damn, where's my journal? I need to write this shit down," Varric said as he got up, and rummaged through his desk.

"Journal?" Carver questioned, watching the dwarf with narrowed eyes.

"Yes," Varric said distractedly as he fumbled through a few things on his desk. "Ah, here it is!" He grinned as he sat back down at the table with an ink pot and feathered quill.

"Varric?" Theo asked, watching with an amused smile.

"Huh? Oh sorry," Varric muttered, briefly glancing up at them as he continued with his scrawling. "I'm a story teller," he said, "and this stuff's gold!"

"So… you're writing about us?" Theo asked, one brow arched in surprise.

"Of course I am," Varric replied. "You're the most interesting people I've met in months!"

Bethany giggled a little girlishly as she watched the dwarf with a grin but Carver only narrowed his eyes further and leaned in closer to Varric. "What are you writing about me?" Carver asked.

Varric shooed him off. "The truth, plus a few well-placed embellishments here and there," he said with a sly smile.

Carver groaned. "What kind of embellishments?"

"Oh, you know, a few extra enemies here, some larger breasts there…"

"Hey!" Bethany said with a quick glace down at her own breasts. "Was that about me or Neria?"

Varric chuckled, "Don't worry, Sunshine, these are strictly to make the story more appealing to a wider audience; you're perfect the way you are."

Bethany blushed slightly and took a tentative sip from her ale, hiding the smile on her lips.

"And what of me?" Theo asked. "I'd appreciate you not embellishing the size of my nose… everything else, however, is fair game," he said with a cheeky grin.

Varric snorted, shaking his head slightly but carried on writing.

Theo glanced up at his brother and found him frowning at him. "What's wrong with your nose?" Carver asked.

"It looks just like someone else's nose."

"Whose?"

"A right irritating sod," Theo explained. "He's always grumpy and never stops complaining." Bethany started to giggle and Theo grinned at her.

"You don't have Gamlen's nose," Carver stated, his frown deepening in confusion.

Theo laughed into his ale, nearly choking on it. " _Right_ ," he drawled to his brother, barely keeping a lid on his laughter. Carver's eyes widened and his hand immediately lifted to touch his nose self-consciously.

He glared at Theo and folded his arms with a huff. "I am  _not_  always grumpy and I don't complain  _that_  much," Carver groused. Theo snorted derisively before turning to look at the dwarf who finally seemed to have stopped scribbling quite so frantically in his journal. "So, Varric, this expedition…" The dwarf looked up at him, copper eyes glistening. "I need to know more about it. You say Bartrand needs a partner, more gold; he need anything else?"

Varric put the quill down on the page and sighed slightly as he sat back in his chair. "Well, we need a good entrance to the Deep Roads," he admitted.

"Oh? And what makes an entrance good, exactly?"

"Not having a dragon sitting in it would certainly make our lives easier," Varric muttered, smiling. "Ideally, we need one close to our destination; only problem is, none of us have any maps of the Deep Roads in this area."

"How would we get a map?" Bethany asked as she sat forward, her eagerness showing through once again.

"Grey Wardens  _might_  just have one, but I don't know any Wardens," Varric said, rubbing his nose. "I'll figure something out," he sighed out roughly. "In the meantime, we should work on earning that coin."

Carver emptied his flagon and put it down on the table. "Aveline could have some work for us," he suggested as he wiped his lip.

Theo rubbed his face wearily. "You couldn't have reminded me about her while we were still in Hightown, Carver?" His brother glared at him and Theo rolled his eyes, sighing. "I guess we're going  _back_  up the steps, then."

* * *

 

Theo took the steps two at a time and he heard Bethany groan from behind him. "Some of us aren't that fast, you know," she moaned a little breathlessly. Theo turned and walked up the steps backwards, grinning.

"And some of us only have little legs," Varric added as he rubbed away the sweat on his brow.

"I'm surprised the thought of gold hasn't lit a fire under your ass, Varric," Theo teased, smirking.

"Can't you tell? It has; why else would I be sweating this much?" he panted out through gritted teeth.

Theo laughed as he turned back around, slowing his pace slightly so as not to get too far ahead of the others. They were nearing Hightown, and the sun was out full force overhead, shining brightly down on the marbled white steps. He found that, being a city, Kirkwall got a lot warmer in the summer than Lothering ever had. There had always been cold refreshing breezes during Fereldan summers, but some parts of Kirkwall never had much of a breeze; usually it was only Hightown and the Docks that felt strong gusts. One such gust of wind hit him hard in the face as he reached Hightown's market and he smiled into it, enjoying the way it tore through his hair, mussing the slightly sweaty strands. Behind him, the others let out sighs of relief upon reaching the market too and Theo smiled at them.

"Come on; the Keep isn't far now."

Theo couldn't help but stare a little resentfully at the Amell estate. He tried to avoid coming this way whenever he ventured into Hightown just so he didn't need to see it, but there was no avoiding it today; they needed to reach the Keep and that meant walking right past it. He glanced up at the Amell crest - still hanging above the door, covered in vines and worn from years of neglect - with a sigh.

Varric whistled, low and long as he stared up at the estate. "That's gonna be a lot of work once you get it back; can't imagine the inside's much better."

"I doubt the slavers care much about upkeep," Bethany muttered, frowning. "I still can't believe uncle had to sell it."

"And he still bloody gambles," Theo bit out with a shake of his head. "How has he not learnt his lesson by now?" Bethany sighed in response as she stared up at the estate, her eyes glazing over slightly as she no doubt started to wonder what it would be like to live there. They'd all wondered the same thing. Theo couldn't picture himself living in Hightown at all; he hated it here - hated the people, mostly - but it's what his family wanted so he would damn well get it for them.

"At least when we get it back we can rub it in his face," Carver said, smiling a little maliciously.

Theo let out a chuff of laughter and Bethany grinned. "He'd deserve it," she admitted. "I bet he'd turn green."

"I think we can all agree now that he is never  _ever_  coming to live with us," Theo said, smiling as he shoved the hair that had fallen over his left eye away from his face.

"Agreed," Carver and Bethany both said in unison.

"It warms this dwarf's heart to see how much you all love your uncle," Varric said, holding back a smirk. Bethany stuck her tongue out at Varric as the rest of them grinned and began making their way up to the Keep, and Aveline.

"Must be nice having a friend in the guard," Varric commented as they climbed the steps.

"I'm sure she'll be your friend soon too, Varric," Theo said, "but whatever advantages you'd think that would have will sadly fall spectacularly short of your expectations. Aveline is very… by the book."

"Some days I think she  _wrote_  the book," Carver added dryly.

As per usual, there was a queue trailing down the steps to the Keep's doors - a long line of people waiting to speak with the Viscount. Theo walked up to the guards at the door, smiling, and they gave him a nod in greeting before letting him pass.

"Seems like having a friend in the guard  _does_  come with some useful perks," Varric pointed out, obviously impressed with how quickly they had been allowed inside. Theo grinned at him and then weaved his way through the crowds of people.

Aveline was easy to spot with her bright red hair and the frown on her face. He smiled as he approached her. "Aveline!" he called out jovially.

"Hello Hawke," she said flatly, not even bothering to glance up at him as she continued to stare at something hanging on the wall.

He frowned. "That's it?" he asked, folding his arms.

"What?" She turned to face him, shaking her head. "Oh right, sorry. It feels like we just talked. I've been keeping an eye on you." His fingers clenched slightly and he had to take a breath as she nodded for them to move away from the board in order to keep his temper in check. He had never liked Aveline's spying; she drew too much attention to them, attention he did not want, not until Bethany was safe.

"We've talked about this, Aveline…" Theo said, his fingers rubbing at the scarf he kept around his neck.

"I know," she said softly. "But I can't help but worry. You should watch out for Bartrand; he's a son of a bitch."

Theo sighed through his nose. "Aveline, meet Varric, Bartrand's nicer half."

Varric chuckled, bowing slightly. "A pleasure to meet you."

Aveline eyed him carefully, her green eyes narrowing briefly before she seemed to decide he wasn't going to be bad news. She smiled, nodding to him. "And you, Varric."

"I'm impressed," Varric went on to say, "Your network's pretty fast - not as fast as mine, of course, but not bad for a guard at all."

"Information is one of the few perks of this job," Aveline shrugged.

"Funny, I don't consider being spied on a perk," Theo grumbled.

Aveline gave him a sympathetic smile but didn't seem remorseful. "Saved me camping on your doorstep," she said. "After what we went through to get here… let's just say I don't want to lose track of you. The places they have me patrolling, I've got time."

She looked so bone-weary, so utterly fed up with her job, and he knew she was; the few times they had talked recently it had mostly been her listening to him complain about Meeran and him listening to her complain about her work. And he did consider her a friend. All her worry, her wanting to keep an eye on him, it was done out of love, not malice, and he found it impossible to stay annoyed at her because of it.

He smirked. "Who says you'd need to camp on my doorstep anyway?" he asked, "I'd invite you in," he said huskily.

She smiled. "That's very kind of you, Hawke, but you're a busy man; even busier now." He sighed as she once again failed to notice his flirting. One of these days he would make her blush.

"Speaking of… You got any work for us Aveline?" he asked.

"I might," she supplied. "My patrols are empty walks in the dark, but there's something big coming up, and I could use you: an ambush, probably a caravan, although I can't find any shipments that match up. Doesn't matter though; highwayman waiting for someone to rob? I'm putting a stop to it, my district or not."

"Alright… we're in. Any idea when the ambush will be?"

"Tomorrow, Sundermount; we'll have to head out at dawn."

Varric sputtered somewhere behind him and Theo smiled. "Meet you at the east gate then?"

She nodded.

"See you, Aveline, and thanks."

"No, thank you, Hawke," she said, smiling, meaning it.

"Do I need to give my ears a good clean, or did she really just say  _dawn,_ " Varric griped as they headed out of the Keep.

"That going to be a problem for you, Varric?" Theo asked, smirking.

Varric's chest heaved with a loud sigh. "For coin, no. Her information better be good though," he muttered.

"It usually is," Bethany reassured him.

Their walk back down to Lowtown was uneventful, and they soon found themselves standing outside The Hanged Man with Varric, the stale piss and vomit even riper now thanks to the heat of the day.

"Sure you don't wanna come back inside?" he asked them. "I can get a round in; we can play some cards…"

Theo smiled, shaking his head. "I'm sure, but if you two want to you can," he said looking at the twins.

"It's fine," Bethany said, "we've been out most of the day; we should probably fill mother in on everything."

"And help cook dinner," Carver added.

"Alright," the dwarf said, "See you all tomorrow then… at dawn," he said, shaking his head and groaning.

"Bye Varric," Bethany said sweetly, giving the dwarf a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for everything."

He grinned at her. "My pleasure, Sunshine." The dwarf glanced up at Theo and Carver with a nod, "Hawke, Junior."

"Ugh, please stop calling me that," Carver grumbled.

"Not a fan? Alright, Little Hawke."

"I'm taller than he is!" Carver whined.

"Who says that's what I'm referring to?" Varric said with a throaty chuckle and Theo couldn't help but laugh too.

"Maker I hate you, dwarf," Carver said as he turned and headed home, his shoulders set.

Theo followed after his brother with a grinning Bethany at his side. She hadn't looked this hopeful and happy since they'd first docked in the city, before they'd found out Gamlen had lost everything. He would get that estate back, one job at a time, one copper at a time if necessary, in order to keep that smile on her face.


	4. Brains, Not Fists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you who have commented, left kudos, and continue to support me with this fic! Love you guys <3   
> And big thanks to Lys, my beta for her continued wonderful work too. 
> 
> I hope you like this one! And I will see you guys next week for the last update before the Holidays with a certain white-haired elf making his début. ;)

Theo stared wearily down at the letters piled up on the desk. He wasn't used to getting mail, but he could tell who they were from before he even opened them - the messy scrawl on the front gave it away. He'd seen enough notes from the bastard telling him to 'get here now' or to 'deal with these men' the past two years to know it in an instant. He was still angry with Meeran. Not quite as furious as he had been, but still not pleased to be hearing from the old merc so soon. It had only been two sodding days since they'd parted ways. According to Gamlen, the first had come last night while Theo and his siblings had been out with Aveline, rescuing one of her guards from an ambush; the other two came this morning while Theo slept in, much to Gamlen's annoyance. Apparently he didn't appreciated Theo getting more mail than him.

His eyes scanned the writing on the page and he couldn't help but roll his eyes. Meeran was apologising. It seemed that even after two days, the bastard already regretted them leaving. Theo had known this would happen, over and over he had argued with Meeran that Theo and his siblings were Meeran's best men and that he needed to treat them better, but he never did. And now he was finally realising it, was he?  _Well good_ , thought Theo,  _I hope his business suffers for it_. The second and third letters were job opportunities that Meeran had heard about and was passing on to him as a show of good will. Theo might still have been angry with Meeran, but that didn't mean he wouldn't look into these jobs – they didn't require seeing the merc in person, after all, and they really did need the coin.

Aveline's job had not been profitable at all. It was good that they had helped – they had saved that guard's life and with any luck the Captain would pay for his crimes – but with so very little coin to show for it, Theo couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Varric hadn't been happy either, but that wasn't surprising, it had been a rotten day. The morning trek out to Sundermount had been met with heavy clouds overhead, and as they neared the pass it had started to chuck it down, soaking them all through to their smallclothes. Fighting in the wet sand had been miserable, but thankfully the skirmish had ended quickly. They'd then returned to the city only to be thrown out of a very angry Captain's office with no reward for their troubles. Then, that evening, they had all fought their way through Lowtown's gangs to save the guard the Captain was setting up. Some asshole thug had tackled Theo into a wall, dislocating his shoulder in the process; it had slowed them down somewhat but they had finally reached the guard and saved him.

One of the jobs Meeran had passed on mentioned a noble in Hightown and something called the Bone Pit but there was no way Theo was dealing with that today, not with his shoulder still aching. This other job looked promising, though: some Anso fella needing help, in Lowtown too.

"Kettle's boiled, darling," his mother called from the other end of the room.

He dropped the letters back on the desk and turned to her, smiling. "Thank you." He headed over to the kettle and poured the boiling water into a mug, stirring in the tea as he did so. He settled into one of the hard wooden chairs, sitting next to his mother with a contented sigh as he breathed in the chocolate and cinnamon tea.

"Do you have any plans for today, mother?" he asked as he blew on his drink, watching as his breath sent ripples across the dark liquid.

She shook her head gently. "Not especially. I was going to drop some bread around to Lirene's. It's been a while since either of us saw her."

Theo nodded thoughtfully. It really had been a while, months, at least, since he had seen the woman who had helped them so much when they arrived. Lirene was a good woman, a kind woman, and Theo and his mother tried to help her and the other Fereldan refugees as much as they could afford to. But with Meeran working Theo and his siblings so hard these past few months, he hadn't had a chance to visit her or any of his other contacts in the city. He would need to say hello to them again soon, and see if he couldn't wrangle a few deals out of them even though he wasn't with the Red Irons anymore. He didn't consider any of them his friends, and he only vaguely trusted them, but that didn't mean he couldn't use them.

"And I thought about popping back out to the market later to see if anyone's selling anything cheap," she admitted. She had a guilty look in her eyes and he arched a brow at her.

"Mm. You got your eyes on something specific?"

She bit her lip ever so slightly and he knew she thought she was being too indulgent. He gave her a withering look in response and she sighed a little, relenting. "When I was out earlier I spotted a pair of shoes in the market… They're cream with a blue polka dot ribbon. It was stupid really, they reminded me of a pair I had as a child. I used to run around the estate singing songs in them," she said with a wistful look.

He gave her a watery smile in return, hating that she had to live here in this dump of a home with their grump of an uncle. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. She had given up so much so that Theo and his siblings could have a life together in Ferelden where it was safe from the Templars. She had been so hopeful about returning to Kirkwall and he could still picture perfectly in his mind how crushed she had looked when Gamlen had explained what had happened to the estate. She had shrugged it off, saying that she was just relieved they were all their together, all safe, but he could still see how disappointed she had been, how scared; they  _needed_  that estate, for Bethany's sake.

He smiled at his mother, "How much were the shoes?"

"Far too much," she said, shaking her head, "I bought bread and cheese instead, even managed to pick up some fresh apples that aren't too badly bruised for once as well."

He smiled and took a few sips of his tea, relishing the sweet rich taste and the heat warming him all the way down to his belly. "I'll be able to help you with the garden more now that Meeran isn't down my throat all the time," he said, suddenly getting a rather vile mental image at his choice of words. He shook his head slightly, banishing those images. "It's not right, you doing all of the work."

"Oh sweetheart, I like gardening, it gives me something to busy myself with." She smiled, her eyes sparkling. "I won't say no to some company though, if you've the time to spare."

"I've always got time for you," he said earnestly, reaching over to squeeze her hand. She smiled warmly, placing her other hand over his. "And when I come back from this expedition a rich man, I'll make sure you have those shoes and anything else you want. You'll be sick of me showering you with gifts within our first week there," he said, smirking.

She chuckled, shaking her head a little exasperatedly. "As long as I have Bethany, Carver and you, I'll be okay," she promised.

"You forgot about Gamlen," Theo pointed out archly.

Mother smiled sheepishly, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks. "Yes, him too."

He chuckled, his shoulders shaking slightly with his mirth, but he couldn't help but grimace slightly at the ache in his left one. He rolled it, trying to loosen the tightness, and his mother looked at him worriedly. She had been beside herself when Theo had come home with his arm hanging limply at his side – they hadn't had time to deal with it while rushing to save the guard, so Bethany had waited until they were home to do it. He had screamed as she pulled it back into place and mother had been close to tears at the sight. Not ideal, but it couldn't really be helped.

"I do wish you wouldn't run into trouble quite so much…" she said, frowning in worry.

"Well, technically that trouble ran into me – tackled me straight into the wall," Theo said facetiously, making his mother let out an exasperated sigh. "It was just a dislocated shoulder, mother."

"And next time it might  _just_  be a stab wound or a poisoning. One of these days you might not –" She gasped and covered her trembling lips with a shaky hand. He leaned forward, grasped the back of her head, and placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I'll be fine. We all will be."

She smiled up at him, nodding as she wiped a tear from her eye. He settled back into his seat and frowned slightly. "You said you went shopping… so where are Bethany and Carver?"

She shifted in her seat apprehensively and Theo frowned, sitting forward in his in response. "They're out," she said dismissively, picking up her tea to drink that instead of speaking with him further.

"Mother?" he prompted, his fingers curling around the fabric of his scarf agitatedly.

She sighed slightly. "They were arguing this morning while you slept, and then they left together."

His frown only deepened at that. "Where were they going?"

"They didn't say. They just said they would be back later," she said giving him a sympathetic look.

He scowled down at his tea, arms folded tightly. "Why didn't they wake me?"

"You needed your rest, dear," she coaxed, rubbing his arm.

"They still should have woken me up if they were planning something," he groused.

"I know darling," she said with a sad smile. "I'm sure they'll be home soon."

He nodded, sighing.

"What about you? Have any plans for today?" she asked, her lips lifting into a smile.

"Meeran passed on some work to me," he explained. "There's a job in Lowtown tonight if I want it, but it could just as easily be done tomorrow or the day after too. The contact will be there all week, apparently."

"That's… something," she said, swallowing tightly. "Any idea what the job is?"

"Someone needing help, as usual," Theo said evasively as he got up to make some toast.

His mother tutted at him. "I do wish you wouldn't protect me so much."

"After your reaction to me dislocating my shoulder last night, I'd say the less you know the better, mother."

"Theodore…"

He winced slightly; he hated it when she used his full name. "There's no need to worry," he said, glancing over his shoulder at her. "We're always careful, and now we have Varric watching our backs too."

She didn't look particularly reassured but she didn't press further and he continued making them both breakfast. "And I need to check in on Aveline today," he added. "After yesterday… well, I want to make sure that Captain of hers is properly punished."

"Mmm. What a horrible man," she said, her voice cracking a little. "Meeran may have been a terrible employer but at least he never sold you out."

Theo nodded vaguely as he sat back down, handing mother two slices of the hot toast. She thanked him with a smile and began applying the apricot jam she had made yesterday. "He might have," Theo said pensively, "if we'd not been his best mercs."

"Then I'm glad you  _were_  his best," his mother said firmly.

**…**

Theo jogged all the way up to Hightown, but he was regretting it now with his shoulder throbbing rather uncomfortably. He'd checked The Hanged Man and the markets on his way too, hoping to catch sight of his siblings or Varric, but had found neither. That worry still nagged away at him but it was soon pushed to the side as he heard the Guard Captain – or  _ex_ -Captain, as it appeared to be – being dragged out by his own men. He was running his mouth off at anyone who had stopped to watch, claiming this to be an outrage. Theo grinned as the man was dragged past him and mock-saluted him.

Jevan snarled at him in response. "Fereldan  _dog!_  This was you too," he spat.

Theo snorted derisively. "You're the one acting like a little bitch," he retorted, smirking smugly.

Jevan continued to make a scene, cussing and struggling, as Theo headed down the steps toward his vacated office. Aveline was inside speaking with a red-haired man. Theo only caught the tail-end of the conversation but he wouldn't have needed to hear it; Aveline's expression was enough. She leant back against her desk as the snobby noble left, this wistful look in her eyes as a somewhat dreamy smile spread across her lips.

"Me? Guard Captain," she said in a wistful murmur.

Theo grinned as he approached. "Seems congratulations are in order."

She seemed to finally notice him and her smile brightened. "I couldn't have done it without you, Hawke."

"Sure you could have, if anything I slowed you down," he said with a self-deprecating smile.

Her gaze fell to his shoulder and her brow crinkled slightly. "How is it?"

"It was fine last night and it's fine now, Aveline," he said his voice strained with exasperation.

She smiled tightly as she nodded.

"So… Guard Captain, huh?"

Her smile grew and she glanced at him, narrowing her eyes slightly. "You'll be even more trouble now."

"Someone has to keep you on your toes, Aveline, especially with the desk job."

"Oh no, I won't be stuck behind a desk all day, not like Jevan was. I'll be out there, with my men, where it counts."

He smiled proudly. "You're gonna be great."

She blushed a little, looking down at the ground as she smiled. "I hope so."

He rubbed his neck. He liked Aveline, really he did. She was fiercely protective and he relied on her to have his back more than anyone else, but he had always struggled to simply  _talk_  to her. All she ever spoke of was her life as a guard. She would tell them about the strange things she saw on a patrol or of a gang she fought off, but seeing as most of Aveline's patrols were empty walks in the dark… well it didn't make for very interesting conversation. And Theo's life was no better. He hadn't stopped working since arriving in Kirkwall. If he hadn't been out working or picking up extra jobs on the side from Meeran to earn a bit of coin, then he was training, trying to be faster so he didn't fail to protect his family again. His jobs would have been fairly interesting to talk about  _if_  he could tell Aveline about them. Most were too shady, and he always worried that Aveline would one day have enough of it all and arrest him. Everyone had their limits, and he sure as shit didn't want to push hers. As a result, all of their conversations seemed to sort of fizzle out after a while with neither of them knowing what to say, and now that she was to be Captain it would probably be even harder to have a normal conversation with her.

"Hey, so I was going to invite you around for cake, or something," he mumbled, scratching his neck.

Green eyes flicked up to look at him and she seemed to sense his uncertainty. "I'd like that," she said. "We haven't spent time together as just friends for a while, have we?"

"No," he admitted, glancing down at the ground. "I can't even remember what we used to talk about before work became our lives."

"I never did like small-talk," she said, smiling ruefully. "I suppose I'll need to get better at it with my new position. l want to do more than just give orders, I'll want to know every one of my guards personally. They're people, real people, that I'll be putting in danger."

"Honestly, I can't think of anyone better for the job, Aveline," he said as he squeezed his friend's shoulders, giving her a supportive smile. "You earned this." He smirked a little. "Bet it felt good to see Jevan carried out of here like that too."

She chuckled. "I hadn't expected him to go quietly… but he put up more of a stink that I thought he might," she said smiling, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Did you say anything?" he asked with a cheeky grin. "Like,  _you got your just deserts_  as you ate some pudding?" Aveline laughed, shaking her head despairingly.

"Hawke," she drawled, her voice filled with affectionate exasperation.

He chuckled. "Missed opportunity there. Lucky for you, I had your back."

Her face paled a little as she stared up at him. "What did you say?"

"He called me a Fereldan dog, so I said he was the one acting like a little bitch," he shrugged, smirking. Aveline let out a hearty laugh in response.

"You are awful," she said even as grinned up at him. "Thank you."

"For?"

"Being here," she said earnestly, a genuine smile tugging at her lips.

He smiled back at her and then cleared his throat as he took a step backwards. "I should probably get going… And I'm sure you have lots to do,  _Guard Captain_ ," he said with a roguish grin.

She rolled her eyes, smiling. "Has anyone ever told you that you're incorrigible?"

"It might have been mentioned a few times…" he laughed. "See you later Aveline."

"Stay safe, Hawke."

**…**

Theo's good mood had shattered rather spectacularly once he'd arrived home. Gamlen had near-barrelled into him in his haste to leave their home, sputtering out several vile curses as he fled down the steps. Inside, he had found his siblings and mother all looking rather smug. It hadn't taken them long to explain. Their grandparent's will apparently very clearly stated that all of their wealth was supposed to go to their mother,  _not_  Gamlen. The estate that Gamlen had sold to pay off his debts hadn't even belonged to him – Theo had let that sink in for all of a few minutes before he rounded on the twins, eyes narrowed.

"How did you get the will?"

Both of them avoided eye contact and that only made Theo tense further.

Bethany shuffled on her feet, staring down at them. "Mother gave me the key to the estate's cellars," she explained quietly. "And we knew Gamlen had left the will in the vault… so we went and got it."

Theo stared at her, unblinking, as he tried to wrap his head around what he was hearing. He glanced at Carver who was standing firm, now looking right at him, silently challenging him.

"But there are slavers in the old estate, how did you –" He cut himself off, his mouth clamping shut as he suddenly realised just what they had done. There was blood splatter on Carver's shirt, and Bethany's robes looked to have some scorch marks on the sleeves. His nostrils flared. "You fought  _slavers_  without me!" he hissed, hackles raised.

"You were fast asleep!" Carver argued, folding his arms across his broad chest.

"And we didn't go alone, Varric came with us," Bethany said quickly, trying to placate.

But Theo's anger had already been loosed. "You should have woken me up!" he shouted, making Bethany wince and look back at the ground.

"Darling," his mother said, "they're okay, that's the important thing."

He whirled on her, seething. "And what if they weren't?" he snapped, "They didn't even tell us where they were going!"

"We can take care of ourselves!" Carver yelled. "We don't need you babysitting us all of the time."

"Well clearly you do, if you just run off to an estate full of slavers without fucking thinking!"

"You're one to fucking talk," Carver said, his voice filled with malice and scorn.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Theo whispered harshly, already knowing the answer, because of course his brother would dredge that up.

"Father needed you and you ran head first into the fight with your  _bow_ ," he said, his lip twisting. "He's dead because of y –"

Theo didn't let him finish his sentence.

He landed a swift blow to Carver's jaw, which had his brother staggering back a step. Bethany tried to grab him as Theo charged forward, but he was too quick. He shoved his brother up against the wall, landing another blow to his cheek in the process. He hit him again, harder this time, his whole hand aching with the force of the blow. Carver pushed him back hard in the chest, but Theo was too fast and was on him again before Carver could get away from the wall. His family were screaming behind him, yelling at him to stop as he landed another punch to Carver's face, but he couldn't stop. All he could see was his father dying in front of him, over and over again.

Someone grabbed Theo's arm and he shoved them away, distantly hearing the feminine yelp, and then Theo was screaming as Carver grabbed a hold of his recently dislocated shoulder, and squeezed, twisting with all of his strength. Carver shoved Theo back when he let go and more pain flared out across his shoulder and back. He managed to dodge the first punch Carver threw, barely, but he didn't anticipate the kick. Theo was thrown backwards. He crashed into the writing desk before he hit the ground hard, gasping for breath.

"That's enough!" Bethany hissed as she got between them, flame licking at her palms. "You're both acting like children," she accused harshly, looking between them both furiously, her lip bleeding slightly, the sight of which washed away Theo's anger like a breaking wave. The room was silent except for mother's sobbing at the other side of the room and the sound of Theo pulling himself to his knees as he continued to stare at Bethany's bloodied lip, the guilt settling over him so thickly he felt nauseous – although he was sure the kick to the gut hadn't helped with that. He swallowed, his mouth dry.

"Beth, I –"

"Save it," she snapped, the flames in her palm dying out as she dropped her arms. She sighed heavily, as she lifted her hand to her lip, letting out a glow of healing magic. She walked over to Carver and did the same, healing each of the quickly forming bruises. "You never should have mentioned father," she scolded. "That was low, even for you." Carver stared down at the ground, his body still tense, but he looked at least a little repentant.

She finally made her way over to where Theo was still kneeling on the ground, holding onto the scarf around his neck if only to stop his injured hand from shaking quite so much. She crouched down next to him and took his hand slowly, gently, as she let a flare of magic wash over it, healing the cuts and bruises. She healed his shoulder and gut next. "You know violence is never the answer," she whispered disappointedly. She got up when he didn't respond and headed back to the table to comfort mother.

Theo glanced up at his brother, meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking. "I shouldn't have… I'm sorry." He glanced at Bethany. "I'm sorry," he said earnestly and she nodded sadly in reply. Theo dragged himself to his feet as his brother watched him warily. "Father he… he –" Theo took a shuddering breath as he clutched the scarf at his neck. "I swore I would protect you all. I  _swore_  it," he said desperately. "You could have gotten hurt, you could have been  _taken_  by those slavers and I never would have known!" His breath was nothing but short gasps now and he staggered back to lean against the desk as his legs went weak. "Please,  _please_  never do that again," he whispered. Bethany was suddenly at his side, telling him to breathe as she let out some cooling magic over his chest and he finally started to calm down.

Carver actually appeared to be watching him a little worriedly when he looked back up at his brother, but the expression quickly shifted back to an impassive mask. Bethany seemed to give their brother a look and Carver sighed heavily. "I'm sorry too," he said, shoulders slumping slightly. "I shouldn't have mentioned father." He rubbed at his face, shaking his head a little. "And we won't go off like that again."

"We were just excited to get the will," Bethany said gently, trying for a smile but with her puffy red eyes it didn't quite work. Theo nodded numbly. "And now we can petition the Viscount, right?" Bethany asked hopefully, looking to their mother.

"I should be able to, yes," their mother replied, her voice sounding a little hoarse. "It will take time, though."

Theo sighed, his breathing finally back to normal. "Then we continue with the expedition in the meantime," he said as he pushed up from the desk and walked across the room on shaky legs. "No doubt they'll charge us to buy the estate back even though it's ours." He put the kettle on, needing something to do as he felt everyone's eyes on him.

"We'll need the money from the expedition anyway," Bethany said. "We can't very well live in a mansion and wear rags, can we?"

Theo leant against the counter, rubbing his face wearily. "Does that mean I'll need to wear doublets?" he asked tonelessly, too exhausted for much else. Bethany moved to his side, smiling.

"You'll need to shave for once too," she said as she ran her hands over Theo's beard. Listlessly, he pushed her hand away.

"I happen to like my beard," he argued.

"Only because  _I_  can't grow any facial hair," Carver groused with no malice, as he came to sit next to mother at the table.

Theo brought the boiled kettle to the table and poured it into the tea pot. They all settled down at the table, the silence between them still rather tense and awkward.

"Meeran wrote to me," Theo said to fill the silence. That got his sibling's attention. "He actually apologised."

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound like Meeran at all," Bethany said, smiling.

Theo returned the expression. "Seems he misses his best employees," he explained. "He passed on a couple of jobs for us. One's this snobby noble in Hightown. I spoke to him briefly today but I'm not rushing out to the Bone Pit for him this afternoon. We could go tomorrow, though." Their mother began pouring out the tea for them all, obviously wanting something to do.

"And the other?" Carver asked.

"A job in Lowtown, don't know much. But the dwarf, Anso, seems desperate enough for help that he's willing to wait there every night this week for us." Theo took a sip of his tea, hoping it would calm his still roiling stomach. "We could do that tonight, I suppose."

Bethany nodded as she held her mug. "How was the pay?"

Theo shrugged, "Undetermined."

"How mysterious," she said, frowning adorably. He nodded in agreement, sipping mutely from his tea.

"Mm, you missed an interesting turn of events at the Keep earlier," Theo said before taking another sip of his tea. The rest of his family had perked up at that and were all watching him expectantly now instead of warily. "Jevan got carried off in chains, screaming the roof down."

"Oof. I bet that was quite a sight," Bethany said, clearly annoyed she hadn't been there.

"That's not all," Theo said enigmatically as he paused for effect, watching with a wan smile as his family grew increasingly impatient. "Aveline is going to be his replacement," he finally explained.

"You mean…?" Carver said, stumbling over his words.

" _She's_  the new Guard Captain!?" Bethany squealed excitedly.

"That's wonderful news," their mother said, eyes sparkling proudly.

"Bet she's chuffed," Carver said amusedly.

Theo nodded. "I've not seen her that happy since…" He frowned slightly, "Well, since she first got the guard job, I guess, but we know how quickly that turned sour."

Mother brought out a fruit cake from the kitchen. Despite loving fruit cake though, Theo just didn't have the appetite for it; he still felt sick from having laid into his brother so viciously. "So what was it like?" Theo asked after a while. "The estate, I mean."

"We only went into the basement," Carver said. "It was huge."

"And dusty," Bethany added. "And there were all these pesky slavers trying to kill us. I wouldn't recommend visiting."

"At least it's devoid of the slavers now though," Theo said with a rueful smile.

"Corpses probably don't make it look any nicer though," Bethany pointed out with a smirk.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with them all chatting around the table, trying to get things to return to normal, but Theo wasn't sure if that would be possible. He and Carver fought a lot but never like  _that_. It was usually verbal, maybe with a bit of a scuffle; he'd never laid into him quite so aggressively. What was wrong with him? How often had father lectured them about solving things with their brains and not their fists? But that logic had died the day father had.


	5. The Elf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris finally gets his sexy butt in the picture!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update before the Holidays guys! Gonna be back in Jan sometime... I highly recommended Subscribing in order to stay updated <3 
> 
> Thanks for the comments and continued support. I hope you have a lovely holiday season and New Year!

They had decided to do the job that night, all of them needing some fresh air after the fight Theo and Carver had gotten into. Theo would have preferred it if they had waited until they were less out of sorts, but the need to earn  _something_  for their expedition fund forced them out of the door. It had been oddly quiet in Lowtown, too quiet really, and Theo hadn't liked it one bit. Looking back, that really should have been their first clue that something wasn't right.

They'd found the dwarf, Anso, and, much to Theo's amusement, he'd turned out to be the most skittish dwarf Theo had ever met. Theo often fell to humour when things were tense or awkward and he had thoroughly enjoyed scaring the dwarf with random shouts of 'boo' mid-conversation. Given his skittishness, it hadn't really been surprising to learn that the dwarf was very new to the surface _and_  smuggling lyrium. Theo had been glad that Aveline wasn't with them for that particular conversation.

All four of them had then headed off to find the dwarf's stolen stash. The eerie silence in the Alienage should have been their second clue that something was very wrong indeed. There weren't even birds or insects buzzing around the tall elven tree, and there had been a strange metallic quality to the air that he hadn't been able to put his finger on at the time. Even upon finding the stash empty, they hadn't expected it to be an ambush; not until they walked back out of the small building did they realise just how badly they had blundered into it. Not that it appeared to be for them at all anyway, of course, that hadn't stopped the large force of enemies from attacking them.

The fight had been gruelling, with wave after wave of soldiers seemingly coming out of nowhere to attack them. Theo's first thought upon seeing so many Tevinter soldiers was that Bethany and Carver had left someone alive at the estate, someone that had gathered reinforcements to enact their revenge. But there hadn't been time to think as he danced between targets, desperately slicing at them with his daggers. He had kept close to Bethany, regretting bringing her out at all; he regretted it even more when he was too slow to stop a rogue from getting in close to her and swiping at her arm before she could throw up a barrier in time. Theo had buried his daggers in the fucker's neck before he had started fussing over Bethany, allowing Varric and Carver to finish off the remaining two soldiers.

"I'm fine, Theo, it's just a scratch!" Bethany cried out, exasperated.

He could see that it was, but he still felt guilty that she had been hurt at all. He smirked at her. "Do you feel light-headed?" he asked in his best impression of her, mocking her affectionately. "Do you need to sit down? I think you should sit down."

"Theo!" she gasped, trying to smack him on the arm but he dodged back too quickly for the blow to land. He smiled at her as she glared at him, but her expression soon cracked into a smile.

"They don't have much on them," Varric grumbled. "This entire night has been a waste." He tossed Theo a few silver.

Theo shook his head, sighing as he stared down at the cold coins. "Let's go pay that bug-eyed dwarf a visit again," he said, clenching and unclenching his fists; he hated being messed with. And people wondered why he had trust issues?

A lone soldier appeared at the top of the steps, blocking their exit. His expression upon seeing the blood soaked grounds of the Alienage was nothing short of livid, and he snarled at them. "I don't know who you are,  _friend_ ," he spat, "but you've made a serious mistake coming here."

Theo couldn't help but laugh as he glanced at all of the bodies strewn across the ground. "Really?" he asked, glancing back at the last remaining Vint. "Because we killed  _all_  of your men."

The soldier ignored him. "Lieutenant!" he called, "I want everyone in the clearing! Now!" he barked over his shoulder.

Another solider appeared, presumably the lieutenant, and Theo drew his daggers. He needn't have. The man staggered down the steps with blood flowing freely out of a wound in his chest, coating the dusty ground in red. " _Captain_ ," the man gasped as he collapsed to the ground.

Theo's breath caught in his throat at the sight of the elf that walked down the steps next. He stared up at him, mesmerised by the shocking white hair falling over the elf's eyes and the dark olive skin that contrasted so strongly against it.

"Your men are dead," the elf's surprisingly deep voice rumbled out, sending a shiver up Theo's spine, "and your trap has failed." The elf walked past the captain to stand just a few feet in front of Theo, his eyes trained on the ground, hair failing over them still. Theo could smell the blood on him and it made his nostrils flare. "I suggest running back to your master while you can," he finished, as Theo continued to stare dumbly at the elf before him.

The captain shook his head, furious bewilderment making his eyes wild as he grabbed the elf's shoulder. "You're going nowhere, slave!" Theo hadn't thought that kind of response would end particularly well for the Vint, but he hadn't expected the elf to light up a bright blue - so bright Theo had to squint - as he spun. He lifted a gauntleted fist, plunging it clean through the man – chest plate, bone and all.

The elf pulled his arm free and turned to face them with a sneer, his hand dripping with blood. "I am not a slave," he growled in a deadly whisper as the captain collapsed to the ground behind him, his face frozen in fear.

Moss green eyes were suddenly peering up at Theo's through a thick fringe of white hair and the elf straightened, his arms dropping to his sides. "I apologise," he said as he relaxed his posture further. "When I asked Anso to provide a distraction for the hunters, I had no idea they'd be so… numerous." He turned from them, stalking away into the shadows a little as he glanced over a few of the bodies Theo and his companions had recently skewered.

With the elf's back to them, Theo couldn't help but run his eyes over the stranger. He was slim, as you'd expect an elf to be, but there was strength lying underneath his dark skin in the well-defined muscles that lined his body, and the way he held himself spoke of years of experience with the massive broadsword he had strapped to his back. There were strange markings on the patches of skin Theo could see - his arms, neck, and feet - but he wasn't sure what the beautiful sinuous white lines were. The elf's tight armour hugged every inch of his lithe frame and the spikes on his shoulders made him look threatening even as the elf continued to remain relaxed.

Theo swallowed thickly as his gaze lingered on the elf's ass, admiring the way his tight leggings left very little to the imagination. He blinked a few times, frowning. He hadn't been this… distracted by a man for… for a  _very_  long time. He didn't like it.

He swallowed, realising he needed to speak. "I take it these men were looking for you?" he asked gruffly, his voice sounding hoarse even to him.

"Correct." The elf turned gracefully to face them, his silvery hair drifting to the side of his face as he met Theo's gaze. "My name is Fenris. These men were Imperial bounty hunters seeking to recover a magister's lost property, namely myself," he said with a quirk of a dark brow. "They were trying to lure me into the open." His lips tightened into a thin line. "Crude as their methods were, I could not face them alone. Thankfully, Anso chose wisely," he said gesturing to them with a spiked gauntlet.

Theo could feel his heart hammering against his chest as those green eyes bored into him, and when he spoke his voice was pitched a little higher than usual. "Everything Anso said was a lie then?"

"Not everything. Your employer was simply not who you believed," Fenris said, his voice somehow managing to be silky smooth yet thick and rough. Theo swallowed again, hating how easily this elf had gotten under his skin.

"If you couldn't fight, then why not just run?" he asked as he folded his arms and rubbed the skin just above his fingerless gloves.

Fenris craned his head to the side, making his white hair fall over his sharp features. "There comes a time when you must stop running; when you must turn and face the tiger," he said, his gaze locked with Theo's.

"Admirable," Theo admitted. He smirked slightly. "But tigers don't hunt in packs."

The elf's lip quirked ever so slightly in what might have been a smile but it was gone too quick to tell. "You're right," he said, "they don't. I was fed up of running, either way."

Theo glanced around at all of the dead bodies. "I'm no slaver, but isn't this rather a lot of men to send for  _one_  slave?"

"It is."

"I'm guessing this is to do with those markings of yours then?" Theo asked, his eyes once again raking up the elf's body; he had to force them to focus on the elf's face.

"Yes, I imagine I must look strange to you," Fenris said, his voice tinged slightly with bitterness and self-deprecation.

"Strange… is not the word I would use," Theo said candidly and more than a little huskily.

Fenris stared down at his arm, turning it over slightly to examine the markings on his palm. "I did not receive them by choice; even so, they have served me well. Without them I would still be a slave." There was something dark and deadly in the elf's gaze even as his eyes became glassy with melancholy.

Theo glanced to Varric and his siblings, who were all watching silently. Bethany wiggled her eyebrows at him and Theo rolled his eyes; she always was far too observant. He remembered then why they were here, why Bethany had been hurt.

"You lied to us to get us here," Theo said evenly. "My sister was injured in the fight because of-"

"Theo! I'm  _fine_ ," she cried out exasperatedly.

Fenris' gaze softened as he looked to Bethany, his hair falling back over his eyes. "I am sorry you were hurt. As I said, I had not expected the hunters to be here in such great numbers." Those big eyes peered back up at Theo, boring into him once again. "Perhaps the deception was unnecessary. If so I am sorry. I have become accustomed to hiding."

Theo sighed slightly, nodding. "I can understand that," he said sadly. "Still, all of this for an empty chest?"

"No, there's more," Fenris said as he crouched down to search the dead captain's body. He pulled out a map, scanning it quickly. "It is as I thought. My former master accompanied them to the city." He rose to his feet, his eyes darting to Theo's a little frantically. "I know you have questions, but I must confront him before he flees. I will need your help."

"May I?" Theo said, holding his hand out for the map. The elf handed it to him, frowning slightly. Theo glanced over it, humming thoughtfully. "Hightown," he said to his companions. "Upper district." He handed it to Varric. "Thoughts?"

"Quiet area; out the way, too," Varric said as he tapped his foot on the ground. "Could be another trap."

"Even if it is," Fenris began, "I must face him. Please help me do this," he almost begged, a slight desperate rasp creeping into that deep baritone of his.

"Oh," Theo said, shaking his head slightly, "we're  _going_  to help, but rushing into this head first probably isn't the best idea." He shot a pointed look at his brother. Carver glared at him. "You three head there via the main roads; keep an eye out for slavers. Fenris and I will take the more... scenic route. We'll meet you at the mansion."

"Be careful," Bethany said with a nod. "We'll let mother know we'll be out late." Theo squeezed her hand as she passed with Carver and Varric, all of them giving the elf a wary glance before heading up the steps.

"I hope you're not afraid of heights," Theo said with a smirk, as he rushed over to the nearest building and began climbing up it, using the window ledge as a foothold to reach the next one.

Almost all of the roofs in the Alienage were flat or very shallowly sloped; Theo had scouted them out within the first month of living in Lowtown, needing as many escape routes as possible for his sister. He reached the top and held out his hand for Fenris, who was staring up at him with a brow arched.

"Come on, you want to kill your master, don't you?"

Fenris' eyes narrowed maliciously and he clambered up the building gracefully, ignoring Theo's hand as he hauled himself up instead. Theo let out a derisive chuff of laughter before he led the way across the silent rooftops.

The moon was mostly obscured by clouds, although every now and again the rooftops would be bathed in bright white light as it broke through a cloud. Everything remained still and quiet, that eerie silence still hanging all around them, and it made the hairs on the back of Theo's neck stand on end. He was almost certain there was going to be another ambush.

Below, he could just make out his siblings and Varric following the main streets as Theo and Fenris followed from above. So far, they seemed to have avoided the Lowtown gangs. Perhaps they weren't the only ones sensing trouble in the air.

They came to an intersection with a large gap between the building they were on and the next, but Theo picked up a plank of wood he had placed on on the roof nearly a year earlier and used it to make a bridge for them to cross over, saving them from having to go around. Once Fenris was across, Theo shoved the wood back to the other side and stood back up, finding Fenris watching him peculiarly.

"What?" Theo asked.

"You've done this before."

"I have," Theo said brusquely, before he walked silently across the rooftop. "And seeing as we're stating the obvious: you glow."

Fenris let out a snorted laugh from Theo's right. "It is lyrium burned into my flesh," he explained.

Theo stared at him, blinking. " _Lyrium?"_  he whispered incredulously as he looked down at the white markings on Fenris' neck with a thick swallow. "Maker's uneven biceps, why would anyone do that to a person?"

There was a flicker of confusion across Fenris' face before it returned to his impassive mask. "For power," the elf shrugged easily. "I was my former master's body guard, and pet," he spat venomously. "His guests feared me and his enemies were soon dead at his feet thanks to my skill."

Theo nodded sombrely. "Then I'm glad he'll soon be dead."

It was as they reached the edge of Lowtown that Theo spotted the shadow up ahead, someone shifting on their feet, aiming a bow. He grabbed one of his throwing knives and tossed it as he leapt over a gap between two buildings. There was a gurgling sound and then the hunter dropped to the ground below. Theo peered over the roof, checking on his companions; Varric gave him a salute as they carried on, all of them now with their weapons drawn.

"A scout," Fenris said, his voice a harsh whisper. Theo gave him a small nod before creeping along the rest of the rooftop with the elf close behind him, crouched low.

Sure enough, there were more hunters waiting on the rooftops and some down in an alley. Theo could see six up on the roof and, as he quickly peered over the edge, another thirteen below. He pulled out one of his poison gas flasks and looked to Fenris who gave him a stern nod, his hand already gripping the broadsword at his back, ready to fight.

"Go right," Theo said. "Take them from behind." Fenris nodded and Theo watched the elf until he disappeared out of sight in the darkness.

When he was sure Fenris had been given enough time to get into position, Theo dropped the flask down into the alley onto the idiots lying in wait below. They all began screaming as the gas seared their lungs, most of them scattering out onto the main street. Theo didn't have to peer over the edge of the roof to know that Bianca was already on them, and she was quickly joined by the crash of Carver's sword and Bethany's magic. Fenris reappeared on the building across from Theo, his markings flaring as he charged into the six hunters all looking over the rooftop at the chaos below them. Theo leapt across the gap, his daggers drawn. He buried them in the chest of a surprised hunter as he landed on the other rooftop. He got up quickly, joining Fenris in the fight as they cut down the remaining three.

Theo wiped the blood from his daggers with a smile, watching as Fenris sheathed his sword with a nod. Below the fighting had stopped and Theo heard Varric's whistle; he whistled back, waving them on.

"It's not far now," he said to Fenris as he once again took the lead.

Hightown was almost impossible to navigate via rooftop thanks to the high pointed roofs, so Theo and Fenris joined back up with his siblings and Varric once they reached the market.

"Nice work," Varric said with a grin.

Theo nodded. "You're all alright?"

"We're good," Bethany said, smiling.

Theo still looked them all over quickly before turning and leading them all onwards. They headed through the deserted Hightown streets, all of them expecting yet another ambush, but it never came. They reached the mansion without seeing a single hunter, thug or civilian.

"It's so quiet," Bethany murmured as she looked around the silent courtyard.

Theo's eyes were trained on the estate itself; it looked almost as bad as the Amell estate, covered in ivy and cobwebs, but some of these walls were crumbling and there were holes in the roof too.

"Danarius may know we are here," Fenris said, as he glared up at the mansion.

"Is he a blood mage?" Theo asked, looking at Fenris warily.

"Yes," the elf said in a hissed whisper.

"Well, it's been at least a week since I fought demons; I could use the practice," Theo said glibly, making Fenris scowl. Theo was beginning to suspect that the elf's face was permanently stuck like that. He couldn't help but idly wonder what a smile or a grin would look like instead.

"Are we sure this is wise, brother?" Carver questioned.

"Had enough of fighting slavers and magisters for one day, have you?"

"That's not what I-"

"We're wasting time," Theo said. He looked to the elf. "Let's go get this bastard." Fenris gave him a wicked look, his eyes narrowed as he nodded.

The door was unlocked, and Fenris charged in, yelling for Danarius to show himself. Theo sighed wearily as the shades and demons appeared, but Fenris just cut through them like they were nothing. He cut through everything so effortlessly, charging around the mansion, his markings flaring, giving him this ethereal quality, making it look like he wasn't  _quite_  there. It was incredible to watch, and also dangerously distracting, as Theo found out on more than one occasion as a shades swiped at him, managing to break his skin with their clawed hands. He sent them straight back to the Fade with a snarl.

The magister wasn't there. The whole thing had been the final trap in a long list of traps that evening, and Fenris had left the mansion after the fight ended, scowling, his head hanging low as he stalked off. Theo felt badly for him; he couldn't imagine how disappointing and infuriating such a thing must be.

"This mansion is falling apart," Carver said as he stared up at a hole in the ceiling. "I don't think anyone's lived here for years."

"Excellent observation, brother," Theo drawled, making Carver glare at him. He glanced at Varric instead. "Anything of value?"

"A few things, maybe. Not as profitable as I would have liked," the dwarf grumbled as he kicked over a dusty chalice.

"I doubt Fenris will pay all that well either," Theo sighed, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "I don't know too many rich ex-slaves."

"At least we helped him," Bethany said, "He must have been on the run a long time; I know how difficult that is."

"We all do," Theo said softly. "Come on, let's go see where he ran off to."

Fenris was waiting for them outside, leaning against the wall with his head hung low so that his hair fell over much of his face. The unwelcome light of dawn was just beginning to add some colour to the wan skies above and Theo couldn't help but sigh; they should all be in bed by now.

"It never ends," Fenris said as he stared at the ground. Theo sympathised, he really did. "I escaped a land of dark magic only to have it haunt me at every turn."

Theo frowned;  _that_  he had not been expecting. He glanced at Bethany who looked just as surprised as Theo.

Fenris pushed away from the wall, his fists clenched. "It is a plague burned into my flesh and soul. And now I find myself in the company of yet another mage," he growled bitterly.

"You can speak to me directly, you know," Bethany said, scowling at the elf as she folded her arms.

"I saw you casting spells inside. I should have realised sooner what you really are," he said harshly. Fenris looked up at Theo, his lip curling in disgust. "You harbour a viper in your midst. It will turn on you and strike when you least expect. That is in its nature."

Theo blinked a few times, still in shock at the sudden turn of events, and then his anger flared. "That is my  _sister_  you are talking about," Theo spat as he took a menacing step forward. "I did not spend all night with you –  _and not in the good way_  – for you to just insult her like that!"

Carver stepped forward to, coming to stand at his side, ready to defend Bethany as well.

"You tell him, brother," Bethany praised proudly.

Fenris' scowl deepened. "I am not blind. I know magic has its uses, and there are undoubtedly mages with good intentions. But even the best-intentioned mage can fall prey to temptation, and then their power is a curse to inflict upon others."

"No one's stopping you from moving on, you know," Bethany retorted.

"Yeah, if you have a problem with my sister, then you have a problem with me, elf," Carver added through clenched teeth.

Fenris' shoulders sagged slightly and he swallowed. "I imagine I appear ungrateful. If so, I apologise, for nothing could be further from the truth. I did not find Danarius, but I still owe you a debt. Here is all the coin I have, as Anso promised. Should you find yourself in need of assistance, I will gladly render it," Fenris said, holding the coin pouch in his hand out to them.

"You don't owe us shit; we would have helped you no matter what," Theo said as he relaxed a little, shaking his head. "We've been on the run, hiding from the Templars our whole lives," he explained. "It's not easy, and I know for a fact that you need that coin. So keep it."

Fenris' hand hovered between them as he frowned. "But, I owe you…"

Theo sighed roughly through his nose. "You're good with that sword of yours. Might be we could use you but  _only_  if you swear to me you won't tell the Templars about Bethany or harm her in any way."

Fenris pulled his hand back, gripping the coin purse with a slightly confused frown. "I will watch her carefully if we travel together. I can promise no more," he cautiously stated.

"But you won't turn her into the Templars?"

"I have enough enemies chasing me; I do not wish to make an enemy of you as well," he replied.

Theo stared at him, seeing the truth in his eyes and he nodded. "Help us out earning coin for an expedition we're planning to the Deep Roads and any debt you think you owe us will be repaid."

"Fair enough," Fenris said as he put his coin purse back on his belt. He glanced up at the estate. "You will be able to find me here. If Danarius wishes his mansion back, he is free to return and claim it."

Theo let out a chuff of laughter and then realised the elf was being deadly serious. He stared at him, eyebrows raised. "You're going to live in  _there?_ "

Fenris shrugged. "It is as good a place as any, for now."

Theo smiled in disbelief but nodded. "Alright. Well, I'm off to bed. I'll be seeing you – actually, I have a job to do this afternoon," he said sighing. "Care to join?"

"Very well," Fenris replied. "Where should I meet you?"

"Hanged Man?" Theo said through a yawn. "Midday?" Fenris nodded in response. "Mm, see you then." He headed toward the exit and then turned at the last minute, smiling as he caught Fenris watching them. "I'm Hawke, by the way."

Fenris bowed his head to the human and watched as Hawke smiled and then turned back around, his companions following in his footsteps. He stared at their backs, frowning, until they had disappeared out of sight. Fenris had hired men to fight for him before, when he had the coin for it; had hired urchins in the street to create distractions or throw the hunters off his trail for a while too. He had simply asked Anso to hire some mercenaries, expecting it to be the same as it had been all the other times he had done such a thing. Instead he got… Hawke.

Fenris wasn't sure what to make of the rogue. He was agile and fast, quick-footed, and he clearly knew his way around the city. The routes Hawke had mapped out made more sense now that Fenris had learnt that his sister was a mage, but it was still an impressive feat. He had seen the paint smeared on the ground as they traversed the rooftops, markings of various colours which must have signalled different routes, all of which he assumed Hawke had put in place, but it was all to protect his mage sister. He gritted his teeth. If Hawke sympathised with her, then he likely sympathised with others like her, too. It was something to be wary of.

However, most surprising was the fact that the man was willing to continue to work with Fenris, without the promise of coin, and after Fenris had made his dislike of mages clear. Anso was the only person Fenris had met that was willing to help him without being properly rewarded but that had been due to sheer luck - Fenris had saved his life from a group of low-lifes. The dwarf felt he owed Fenris a debt - a debt Fenris was more than willing to exploit in order to see the hunters killed. But Hawke claimed Fenris had no such debt to him. It was oddly refreshing, and yet he still felt as though he owed the three of them something for his assistance. Without them he would most likely have had to run again.

He stared up at the decrepit mansion with a smug smirk. Despite not finding and killing Danarius, it at least felt good to take something from him for once. He headed inside, closing the door behind him, then searched each of the rooms. He checked for traps, but the dwarf had been thorough; none were left armed. He found the keys to the mansion in one of the upper rooms and locked up everything he could before blocking exits and windows he wouldn't need on the ground floor with discarded furniture.

Finally satisfied the mansion was as secure as it could be, he climbed the stairs and headed into the master bedroom. It would feel good to sleep in a bed; he had spent so much of the past few months sleeping fitfully on the ground, or not at all. He had known the attack was coming, had felt the eyes on him, but his watchers had always remained in the shadows, waiting. Saving Anso's life had been a blessing in disguise, for Hawke's caution may well have saved Fenris' life. If he had been alone, or with another group of mercenaries that only cared for money, that second ambush may well have been very effective, focused as Fenris had been on reaching Danarius and the mansion. He would have to keep his eyes peeled for further traps in future, especially the new three-fold attack they seemed to have deployed here.

He didn't bother removing his armour; he never slept long even when he had the chance to, and he would need to be up in a few hours again to meet Hawke and the others at the tavern. He lit a fire and watched the flames burn for a few moments, a ghost of a smile at his lips; he would enjoy this small victory over Danarius while he waited for the next attack.


	6. The Bone Pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might start doing these. Maybe.   
> Title says it all really though so this was probably a stupid time to start doing a summary.   
> Yeah.   
> There's dragons, and shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BACK. 
> 
> *everyone cheers* 
> 
> Oh that's just me cheering? 
> 
> Okay, moving on. 
> 
> I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and New Yearr! I got sick with the world's shittiest cold and still look like I am celebrating Christmas as Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer, so that's fun times. XD. But I am back to posting this beastie! 
> 
> Tiny little note thing: Theo=Theo POV. Hawke=Fenris POV. I switch between these two dorks without clear breaks quite a lot and that's always a sure as shit way to know who I am using at the time. 
> 
> Anyway, stop listening to me ramble and go read!

Theo rubbed at his face with a heavy sigh, his eyes blurry from lack of sleep. "Come on," Carver said, standing over him. "We have to go meet Varric and that elf of yours."

"Elf of _mine?_ " Theo croaked as he sat up slowly, scowling.

Carver handed him a cup of tea, shrugging slightly. "We all saw the way you looked at him. He even insulted Bethany, and you still bloody flirted with him."

Theo winced and blew on his tea. "I did, didn't I?" He shook his head ruefully as he leant back against the wall. "What is wrong with me?"

"Lots of things," Carver deadpanned. "You might want to be careful with that one, though, or it might be you with a hand in your chest."

Theo scoffed. "Was that genuine concern, brother?"

Carver snorted, shaking his head, even as he smiled. "Don't push your luck."

Theo smirked. "Besides, I can think of some other uses for that fisting gift of his."

And he had. Most of the night he had. If he hadn't been having nightmares about Fenris turning Bethany over to the Templars, he had been dreaming about the elf's glowing body and how it would feel to-

Carver snorted, shaking his head and interrupting Theo's thoughts. "Been a while since you were into men… mind keeping it that way?"

Theo flinched, unable to hide the mix of emotions flashing across his face as he remembered his first, and last, relationship.

"Sorry," Carver mumbled, looking distinctly guilty. He sighed. "I'm just fed up of you getting all the girls."

Theo let out a chuff of dry laughter. "Buying them hardly counts as getting them all, does it? You can go to the Rose any day of the week, brother."

Carver pulled a face. "And get your sloppy seconds? There isn't a girl there that you haven't paid for."

"So?" Theo asked as he got to his feet.

"I get compared to you enough as it is," Carver muttered, making Theo sigh. "Let's just go," his brother said as he headed for the door. "To The Hanged Man, I mean, not _there._ "

Theo followed him, smiling.

"You're in a good mood," his sister immediately said as he reached the living room, giving him a knowing smile.

"Not you too," Theo groaned.

"What?" she said innocently. "He _was_ handsome, even if he was an ass."

"I didn't notice," Theo said as he avoided eye contact with her, his cheeks flushing as he thought about the elf's ass yet again. He could feel her gaze boring into the side of his face and he glanced up, regretting it instantly as he found her grinning. "Alright, I _may_ have noticed, but that doesn't mean I'll act on it! You're both overreacting."

"I haven't seen you look at anyone like that since-"

"Beth," Theo said, his voice cracking, "Please. Don't." She heaved a heavy sigh, nodding with an apologetic look.

He sat wearily down at the table, helping himself to some food as he did so, and Beth and Carver joined him. He would need to be careful with Fenris. His siblings weren't wrong; he hadn't been that affected by someone for a very long time now. He only ever fucked whores, because it was easy to keep feelings out of it when it was a business transaction. But being attracted to someone he was working with could be dangerous if he wasn't careful.

Breakfast, or brunch, as he supposed it was, passed quickly and then they were off to The Hanged Man to meet Varric and Fenris. The elf was leaning against the wall outside the tavern, arms folded as he waited for them, his white hair catching the sun. Theo swallowed as his eyes raked over the elf properly for the first time in daylight and it didn't help his growing attraction for him at all. Theo motioned for his siblings to go get Varric and they gave him knowing looks before they headed inside together. Theo ignored them.

"Afternoon," he said as he reached Fenris' side. "Sleep well?"

"Well enough." Fenris shrugged as he pushed off of the wall.

"Good, that's good," Theo said as he rubbed at the back of his neck, grimacing at the sweat coating his skin. It was already far too hot out, but they needed to check the Bone Pit, needed to find out what had happened to the noble's workers; the longer they left it, the less chance there was of them finding survivors.

"Broody, Hawke," Varric said in greeting to them both as he exited the tavern with Bethany and Carver, earning himself a scowl from the elf and a smile from Theo.

"Ready for a trek in the sun up to the Bone Pit, Varric?"

The dwarf chuckled. "How much did you say this was paying?"

"A full pouch of gold," Theo replied, smirking.

The dwarf's copper eyes glistened. "Then I'm ready."

* * *

 

Varric was telling his siblings a ghost story, one of many about the Bone Pit, and Theo couldn't help but roll his eyes. He stayed back, not wanting to get influenced by ridiculous tales; if something _had_ happened at the pit he wanted to have a clear mind to figure it out. That meant, however, that he was left to walk with Fenris, who so far, had barely said more than three words total.

Theo always got irritable in the heat, and with no conversation to distract himself with, all he kept thinking about was how good Fenris looked with the sun beating down on his dark skin, his hair getting ruffled by the wind, revealing yet more lyrium markings on his forehead: three little dots right in the centre above his eyes. But while Theo was sweating like a pig, his hair sticking to his face, Fenris looked cool and composed, completely indifferent to the heat baking the rest of them. It meant Theo couldn't help but be a little jealous as he poured water from his canteen over his head, sighing contentedly as the rivulets ran down his face and chest.

When he glanced back up, he found Fenris watching him and he blushed. "What?" he asked. "It's hot out."

"This would be considered cold in Tevinter," Fenris said impassively as he looked forward again.

"Seriously? You're gonna hate our winters then," Theo mused, smiling.

"I do not feel the cold, either," Fenris replied.

Theo scowled. "Because of the lyrium?"

"Perhaps."

"Well, that's something."

It didn't seem Fenris had anything else to add to the discussion and Theo ran a hand over his bearded jaw. He wasn't usually this bad at talking to people, he was sure. But all the usual talking points that acquaintances could use with one another weren't going to work with the elf; asking him about his past or his life as a slave would be terrible conversation starters. He needed some other topics, and preferably ones that wouldn't end up with them discussing mages and magic.

"How's the mansion?" Theo asked.

"It was satisfactory," Fenris said gruffly.

_Three words_ , Theo thought, _not bad_! "I can think of worse places to stay than a run-down mansion. It just needs a bit of a spring clean and it might actually be liveable."

"And what would be the point?" Fenris asked, scowling at him. "It's not mine. I do not expect to be there long before Danarius sends more hunters," he growled.

"But you're staying there to _attract_ them, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, unless you expect to lose against them-"

"I do not."

"Then you'll be in the mansion a while… You could at least get rid of the corpses and the cobwebs?" Fenris ignored him in favour of picking up his pace; Theo matched it. "And you know we'll gladly help you defend it if nec-"

"Why?" Fenris asked, whirling on him, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Theo frowned, a little startled by the thin green slits glaring at him. Fenris shook his head slightly, sighing. "Why risk your life to help me at all?" he asked with much less heat.

"I told you," Theo said. "We've been on the run before, and I hated it, we all did. But hiding isn't better. If I could kill every single Templar in Thedas to keep Bethany safe, then I would," he said, noticing the elf's lip curl in disgust at the thought, "but that isn't going to happen. So if I can help you gain your freedom instead, then well… that's something, isn't it?" He held the elf's gaze. "Nobody deserves to be imprisoned – not as a slave, and not because they were born with magic."

Fenris' eyes narrowed further at that. "Mages are dangerous, if you had seen what they were capable of, you would not support them so fiercely."

"I've seen men do some abhorrent things; you don't need magic to be a monster, Fenris," Theo replied stonily.

"Yes, but men cannot turn into abominations or summon demons."

"So locking them up's the answer, is it? Ripping them from their mother's skirts when they're just terrified children, never to let them see their families again?" he said indignantly, his voice rising with his anger and incredulity. "You realise doing that to them makes it _more_ likely they'll turn to demons for help, right?"

Fenris shrugged a spiked shoulder dispassionately. "If it keeps the rest of society safe…"

"Bethany isn't going to hurt anyone," Theo hissed. "She doesn't deserve to be caged, she isn't a fucking animal."

"If she became an abomination, would you be able to do what the Templars are used for?"

"Don't," Theo seethed, glaring at the elf with vehement fury. "That is my sister you are-"

He took a calming breath, trying to cool his ire before he did something he would regret, and stormed up the path, away from Fenris. The elf followed after him.

"You are a fool if you think you won't have to."

"Andraste's burning leg hair!" Theo cried, his anger turning to exasperation. "I think I preferred it when you _weren't_ talking."

He realised the elf had stopped mid-stride, and he glanced over his shoulder to look at him.

Fenris was giving him an odd look, a slight frown of confusion mixed with a look of amusement. "Andraste's burning leg hair?"

Theo let out a snorted laugh. "Mother doesn't like it when we swear; she doesn't like blasphemy either, but at least if it's humorous I usually get a laugh out of her rather than a scolding." He shrugged and continued walking.

Varric and the others had stopped just ahead, before a bend in the path, all of them drawing their weapons. "Looters," Varric explained as Theo got closer. "Quite a big group." Theo peered around the corner, taking in the group of six men gathered around the fire, and the five or so picking through bodies on the ground. There might have been more out of sight too. He sighed and faced the others.

"I doubt they'll be willing to chat," he said as he rolled his neck. "But it might be worth a try."

"What's the plan?" Bethany asked.

Theo rubbed at his chin as he thought. "This place is known for dragons, right Varric?" The dwarf nodded, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to figure out Theo's angle. "Alright then, Bethany, have that fire you're so fond of at the ready and see if you can't hide up on that bluff with Varric. Carver, Fenris, be ready for these looters to flee toward you."

"I'm putting a barrier on you, just in case they shoot first and ask questions later," Bethany said with a worried look. He nodded and the spell shimmered to life around him before fading.

Everyone got into position and then Theo staggered around the corner, hoping to look non-threatening in sight of the looters. "Oh Maker!" he cried out dramatically as he took in the carnage around him. He was a terrible liar, in truth, but over dramatics? He could just about manage that.

The looters had drawn their weapons, some of them moving forward, but most just looked confused.

"I saw them, but I didn't – I can't believe they're all _dead!_ " he wailed loud enough for all to hear as he dropped to his knees, his hands fisted in his hair.

One of the more curious looters glanced at the others with a frown before looking back at Theo. "What happened 'ere?" he asked gruffly.

Theo began to sob hysterically, staring at the scorched bodies on the ground. "They came out of nowhere!" he cried. "I just ran, I just ran and ran and ran!"

"What happened!?" the looter snarled.

Theo looked up at the man, his eyes wide and hopefully looking rather haunted. " _Dragons_."

He could see the chill settle over the looters, some shaking their heads in disbelief, others looking distinctly agitated as they shuffled on their feet. A shadow suddenly passed over the sun above – all of the looters looked up at the suddenly black skies.

Then the fireballs began to fall.

They rained down from the heavens to slam into the ground, exploding on impact and scattering rock and fire in all directions. Two of the looters died instantly, while another was engulfed in flame. Theo screamed even as he scrambled backwards, selling his little tale to the last second.

"The dragon's back!" he shouted, voice filled with dread and panic as he got to his feet.

He charged around the corner, hearing the looters right on his tail as they too fled from the fireballs decimating their camp. Once out of sight, Theo spun, drawing his daggers, and then stood with Fenris and Carver either side of him, ready for the fight.

The first of the looters rounded the corner, most of them unarmed as they'd fled without their weapons. Shock registered very briefly on their faces, before Carver and Fenris were on them. Theo threw down some smoke bombs to keep the others confused as he slowly picked them off with Varric and Bethany helping from above.

It wasn't long before all of the looters were dead on the ground.

"That was so much fun," Bethany admitted as her and Varric hopped down from the bluff.

"Hm, not bad, Hawke, a tad over dramatic maybe," Varric said with a grin, "but a few lessons from me and you might actually be half decent at bullshitting people."

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Theo said as he wiped down his daggers. "And ironically, I don't think dragons are a far cry from what actually killed those workers." Theo walked back toward the main site, which was now smouldering thanks to Bethany's fireballs. "I noticed that there were drag marks in the sand," he said, pointing, "coming from that tunnel up there. And most of the bodies looked like they had been half-eaten and scorched."

"Great, just what we needed," Carver groaned.

Theo pulled out some maps of the mine from his pack, examining them. "Looks pretty big," he commented. "Might be easier to look for survivors if we split up; we'll cover more ground that way and might be able to figure out what happened quicker."

Nobody objected, and Theo gave Varric his spare map, just in case. "We'll try to meet here," he said pointing. "Unless we've all run out of there screaming, in which case, I'll see you all here," he smirked.

"I wish you hadn't told us all of those horror stories about this place, Varric," Bethany sighed as they all headed into the mine's entrance together.

"Don't you worry, Sunshine, I'll keep you safe," Varric said with a reassuring smile.

"Be careful you three," Theo said, doing his best to ignore the knowing looks all three of _them_ were giving him at having decided he would go off with Fenris, alone. _Shit_ , he thought, _it really must be obvious._

"You too," Bethany said smirking, "Try not to cut yourself," she said as she glanced at Fenris' spiked armour.

Theo groaned, sighing as he rubbed at his face.

He hadn't actually split them up like this because of his attraction to Fenris, although that may have played a _small_ part; really he just didn't trust the elf around his sister yet. He was worried Fenris would cut her down for sneezing, thinking she'd become possessed or something.

Theo and Fenris headed down the winding path of the mine's left shaft in silence as they both listened for any signs of life – or whatever had attacked the workers here. It was getting rather dark; most of the torches that hung from the walls had been destroyed or were simply gone, and Theo shook his head, regretting not bringing a torch down here himself.

He cried out as he suddenly lost his footing and nearly went stumbling down a staircase. He only just grabbed the rail in time and cursed under his breath as he clutched it. "Stairs here," he muttered ruefully. He then, more carefully, began to walk down them.

Fenris snorted in amusement behind him and Theo glanced over his shoulder at the elf. "Can't you, you know…?" he asked uncertainly, as he pointed at Fenris' markings, not even sure if the elf could see the gesture in the darkness.

"I am not some light you can flick on and off," Fenris snapped at him.

"Sorry," Theo mumbled. "It's just sodding dark in here."

And as if the Maker himself had answered Theo's prayers, there was suddenly light; only problem was it was orange, and very hot, and heading straight for Theo's face. He dodged to the side, hiding behind a wall, just as the flames whizzed past him.

"Andraste's hairy snatch!" Hawke gasped. "There are actual dragons down here?"

Fenris smirked slightly in the dark at the human's choice of curses. He peered around the edge of the wall and his eyes locked onto just what was spitting fire at them both. "Dragonlings," he corrected dryly.

"Because that's _so_ much better," Hawke answered sarcastically.

Fenris didn't wait for the rogue; he charged in, sword drawn. He ducked under the first spit of fire and brought his sword upwards, cleaving it through the dragonling's head. He rolled across the ground a second later as another tried to claw at him, swinging his sword in a wide arc as he got back to his feet, slicing into several more. He could hear Hawke fighting nearby, the tell-tale slices of his short daggers meeting the tough skin of dragonling hide, and his panted breath as he dodged and ducked in the darkness. Occasionally Fenris would see a flash of the rogue leaping through the air or stabbing with his daggers as a dragonling lit up the small area with flame, but otherwise he mostly had to rely on his hearing to know where Hawke was.

The fight finally ended, but not before Hawke managed to get one of the dragonlings to set some kind of fabric the rogue had found on fire. Hawke wrapped it carefully around a stick, using it as a makeshift torch.

"Much better," the human said as the shadows from the flickering torch danced across his face. He kicked over one of the dragonlings, examining it. "Incredible," he whispered reverently.

"There will undoubtedly be more of them further in," Fenris said, already moving away from Hawke and his torch and down the next path of the mine.

"Undoubtedly," Hawke echoed, his tone slightly mocking.

They walked in silence for a little while, both of them listening out for signs of more of the baby dragons. It was as they entered a large empty cavern that Hawke spoke again. "Would you have come with me today if you had known there were dragons involved?" he asked.

Fenris didn't bother glancing at him. "Yes. I owe you for your help."

"Dragons are hardly equal to slavers though, are they?" Hawke said as he came to walk at Fenris' side, his warm red-amber eyes boring a hole into the side of Fenris' face. "And besides, you don't strike me as the sort of person to work with others very much, yet you agreed to help me."

"You asked," Fenris said dismissively.

"I invited you, that's a bit different."

"Perhaps I like the fresh air," Fenris replied dryly, wanting this line of questioning to be over.

"Still, you don't know very much about me – I could be a blood sucking monster with glowing eyes for all you know."

"If you are, you hide it well," he said flatly, noting the smile that spread across Hawke's lips in response.

"I do try, wouldn't want to scare off all the men and women who might otherwise find me attractive," he said, smirking.

"Such an appearance might save you from many fights," Fenris stated as he walked down a long narrow corridor with Hawke at his back, the torch flickering wildly as it began to sputter out.

"True," Hawke said, his tone thoughtful. "But I think punching through people's chests would serve as a better deterrent."

"You would think so, and yet they still come," he said, sighing slightly.

Fenris listened carefully as he came to a stop at the end of the corridor, but could hear nothing. Hawke cursed as the torch finally died out and he dropped it to the ground with a sigh, but there was at least a little light from a couple of remaining stone-glows in this area which cast them in in a wan yellow light. Fenris returned to listening and scanning the surrounding area, but he could not stop the pang of curiosity he felt.

"Does such a skill scare you?" he asked the rogue. He'd had never heard anyone's honest opinion of his abilities. Danarius had shown him off frequently, showing the other magisters what he was capable of, but their reactions had always been a show as well - fear, reverence, praise, all meant to cosy up to Danarius, to gain his approval. Hawke struck him as an honest man, someone who often spoke his mind – perhaps even a little too much sometimes.

"You mean the glowing thing?" Hawke asked.

Fenris nodded, watching Hawke's expression carefully.

"I don't really scare easily, but I admit, I was slightly alarmed when you plunged your entire fist through that guy's chest."

Fenris turned away, jaw clenched. He should have expected no less. People always feared him, feared what he could do. Even without the markings, he was still an elf, an outcast to be looked down upon. And he had murdered the only group of people ever to accept him.

"But then I started thinking about all the _other_ uses such a skill would have," Hawke finished, and Fenris could hear the humour in his voice. He glanced at the rogue, finding him smiling mischievously.

"Oh?" Fenris said, craning his head slightly to the side.

"Mmm," Hawke hummed appreciatively, before blinking and shaking his head, seemingly banishing whatever thoughts he had been thinking. "You could break into houses, open chests," he explained, "or even tickle someone to death."

Fenris let out a loud breath of laughter and Theo was momentarily stunned; it was such an incredible sound – deep and throaty but also soft and surprisingly carefree, and it washed right over Theo, sending shivers down his spine.

"I can't say I've ever tried that," Fenris admitted with a hint of a smile at his lips.

Theo grinned. "I can think of worse ways to go."

"Indeed," Fenris said quietly before he motioned for them to both move forward through the next chamber. Several dragonlings charged out of an alcove spitting fire and screeching at them. Fenris was a blur as he rushed them, his broadsword held easily out to the side. Theo slipped into the shadows, doing his best to avoid getting cut in half by one of Fenris' wide-arced swings, before he too engaged the fiery little reptiles from behind.

Once they were dead, Theo sheathed his daggers and rolled his bad shoulder. So far, Fenris hadn't failed to impress him with his skill in a fight. He was better than Carver with a broadsword, although their styles were rather different. It was clear Fenris had been given extensive training to become a bodyguard. Every move he made was fast, fluid, exact. He was fury tempered by precision. He moved in a glowing blur, confusing his foes even as he left them bleeding or crippled. Carver, on the other hand, was a brawler with the mind of a soldier. His was innate skill and strength, his attacks using his pure brute force to knock people over with the power of his swings while crushing and stabbing in equal measure with his sword. The result was the same, however; targets left injured or dazed, perfect for Theo and any other members of their group to pick off.

"You're pretty good with that big sword of yours," Theo said a little breathlessly. _Oh Maker_ , he thought in alarm, _that sounded so dirty_! "You must have practiced a long time with it," he added, trying to make it sound less dirty and failing badly. _Just stop_ , he scolded himself, feeling his cheeks flush a bright red, _you're only making it worse._

"Presumably, yes," Fenris said as he sheathed his sword.

Theo frowned. "What? You don't know?"

Fenris shook his head. "Everything before these markings is lost to me; I remember none of my former life."

"Shit," Theo muttered, unable to comprehend not being able to remember his own childhood, their farm in Lothering, _father_ and the rest of his family… "That's horrible," he murmured.

"I don't need your pity," Fenris spat harshly.

Theo frowned, clenching his jaw. "I don't pity you!" he replied, his voice louder than he had intended. "I was being…" He sighed. "You know what? Forget it." He stormed off before his temper could get the better of him.

"I apologise," Fenris voice echoed through the cavern. Theo stopped and turned to face him slowly as Fenris caught up to him. "I am not used to staying in one place long enough to be asked such questions."

"If it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to talk about it," Theo said with resentment tinging his voice, "I was just curious, I guess."

"It's fine," Fenris said, scowling a little. "I just need time to… adjust."

"Alright," Theo said as he forced a smile across his lips. He turned and continued walking through the gloomy mine. He really shouldn't have been surprised that Fenris found it difficult to talk about his past; Theo struggled with exactly the same thing, after all.

Their tunnel finally merged with the one the others had taken, and Theo and Fenris found Varric, Bethany and Carver all waiting for them, looking rather bored. They all watched him as he approached, trying to hide smirks from their lips – apparently they had taken Fenris and Theo taking longer than them to mean that they'd been busy doing something _else_.

"There's a huge dragon ahead, according to a survivor," Varric explained. "Haven't heard anything though."

Theo shoved his overgrown hair away from his face. "Hardly surprising given all the babies running around, but let's hope he was exaggerating the _huge_ part."

"Got a plan for this if it _is_ a big dragon, Hawke?" Varric asked as he pulled Bianca off of his back.

"You and Beth will stay by the doorway; everyone else should avoid getting eaten or roasted alive."

"Nice to know I'm already one of your favourites," Varric said cheekily.

Theo rolled his eyes and drew his daggers, leading the way up the steep and crumbled incline, out onto a mountain ledge. The view was beautiful, with the forests and valleys that stretched out below as far as the eye could see; the trees were all gorgeous autumn oranges and reds, and the fields were lit up in a deep golden glow from the slowly setting sun.

The wind suddenly picked up and billowed around them. They all stared up in awe at the cause of the sudden gusts: a dragon. It let out a deafening roar as it came and landed on the ledge in front of them, its long wings outstretched. Theo's breath hitched at the sight of it. He had only a brief moment to be relieved this dragon wasn't the size that the Witch of the Wilds had been, before it started spewing fire at them all. Carver and Fenris rolled to the left and Theo the right, while Bethany cast a barrier in front of her and Varric, protecting them.

The warriors led the charge forward, Fenris lighting up that bright white-blue again to keep the dragon's attention so that Carver could get in some heavy blows to the dragon's chest. Theo snuck around to the distracted dragon's back, burying both of his daggers in a meaty hind leg. He yanked them out and rolled under the dragon just as it tried to kick at him. Dragging his daggers along the dragon's belly as he ran underneath it, he then rolled out the other side and spun, cutting at its ankles as he did so.

He could hear ice and crossbow bolts hitting the dragon, could see them slowing its movements, as Carver and Fenris continued to keep the dragon focused on one of them while the other dealt as much damage as possible before drawing the dragon's ire. Theo got in more quick stabs, this time to its foot, making it limp briefly. He narrowly missed that leg kicking him in the chest as he threw himself to the ground, away from the dragon. It was times like this that he wished he could afford some proper silverite blades, something sharp that could do more damage to the hard scales covering the beast's body. But Fenris and Carver at least seemed to be getting through them; he could smell blood on the air, could see it pooling in the dirt. Still the dragon kicked and lashed out at them though.

Theo got in close again, an easier task with Bethany's ice slowing the dragon's movements. He got his daggers in deep, slicing along the back of the dragon's hind knee as he ran under it. The dragon staggered to one side as that leg collapsed under it, and they all scrambled away from it as it thrashed on the ground, trying to get back up. More fire poured from its mouth. Bethany shielded Carver, herself and Varric, but Fenris was only saved by sliding behind a rock. Theo was lucky, out of the way and behind the beast as he was, but their breather didn't last long. Soon the dragon was back on its feet and fighting with renewed ferocity.

They fell into a familiar pattern of Carver and Fenris keeping its attention while Varric and Bethany slowed and crippled it as much as they could. Theo, meanwhile, focused his attentions on that injured hind leg, wanting to see it properly downed without use of that limb. But, apparently sensing Theo's motives, the dragon reared on its hind legs and flapped its wings. The gusts knocked nearly everyone clear off their feet, and both Theo and Fenris were sucked underneath it by the draughts. They only just rolled out the way, both of them breathless, as the dragon's front legs came crashing back down to the ground. Remarkably, Carver had managed to stay on his feet but that also meant he was the only one now facing the front of the dragon, and all of its wrath.

Carver got in a few heavy swings, grunting with the effort of each of them, even as Theo and Fenris scrambled to their feet to assist. They were too slow, however, as the dragon swiped with a clawed front leg. It got Carver straight across his chest, puncturing his armour and flinging him sideways into the dirt.

Everything seemed to slow for Theo. He could see his sister screaming their brother's name as she ran forward. Could see the panic in her eyes even as Carver's drifted shut. Could see his blood staining the ground, trickling out into the dirt. Varric was rushing forward, standing at Bethany's back as she ran to Carver's side. And all of that seemed to be merging with other memories, old memories, memories he'd tried to bury. Ones of father lying in the dirt, eyes drifting shut, clothes stained with blood just like Carver's.

Something snapped inside of him, and he simply reacted.

Theo charged forward with a scream and leapt at the dragon. His daggers went in deep, right into the dragon's thick thigh. He scrambled upwards, yanking his daggers free as he climbed up onto the dragon's back. He held on for dear life as the dragon tried to shake him off, but then Fenris was glowing and shouting at the dragon, succeeding in getting its attention again. Theo started to crawl forwards, up along the creature's spine. Every now and then he would catch sight of Bethany and Carver. She had pulled him away from the dragon and was healing him, but Theo couldn't tell from here how bad his injuries were.

He reached its shoulders, just a few feet short of the base of its skull where he wanted to get his daggers in. But the dragon was swinging its head around, spitting fire and thrashing like crazy. He dug one dagger into the space between its shoulder blades and clung to it even as he readied himself to lunge forward to bury the other. Fenris seemed to sense his plan and let out a deafening war cry. The dragon reacted, stilling as it sucked in breath. Theo leapt forwards just as the dragon let out hot fiery breath at Fenris. The elf rolled to the side, and Theo's dagger slammed down into the dragon's neck, just shy of its skull as the dragon jerked its head right.

"Fuck!" he hissed.

The dragon let out a defiant roar as that blade sunk into its neck, and immediately dropped its head forward as it tried to shake him off. Theo flipped over its head, losing his grip on his dagger and only just grabbing hold of one of the dragon's horns as he landed on the dragon's snout. He scrambled for a foothold, ending up with his feet stuffed into the dragon's smoking nostrils. He stared right into one of its yellow eyes, watched as its pupil turned into a furious black slit at the sight of him, and he let out a nervous laugh. Then the dragon roared, thrashing and spitting out more fire. Theo could feel it melting the soles of his boots.

"Fenris!" he screamed as he held on for dear life. "Kill it!" He punched the dragon in the eye with his free hand, stunning it as the elf charged forward, sword held high. A crossbow bolt sailed past Theo's shoulder and hit the dragon in its other eye, leaving it nearly blind and Fenris took advantage of its weakened state to start hacking at its neck with his sword.

Three heavy hits and the dragon's head was hanging limply from its bloodied neck. It screamed in agony, thrashed and bucked. Its wings flapped as it tried to flee. But that fourth blow came down and then Theo and the dragon's head were falling to the ground with a thud. He rolled away from it, his whole body trembling, and only spared it a single breathless glance to confirm it was dead before he rushed to his brother's side.

Carver's eyes were open, wide open as he stared on in disbelief at him, his injuries apparently healed.

"You're alright," Theo said in a breathless rush. "I thought – I thought-" He took a shuddering breath and dropped to his knees at his brother's side.

"I'm fine," Carver protested, but there was no fight in his voice. He looked pale and exhausted. He was leaning heavily back against Bethany who was holding him tightly like she wasn't quite ready to let go of him yet.

Theo stared down at the long gashes in his brother's armour and sighed. "You'll need new armour. We can pick something out tomorrow, something thicker, heavier. I don't know why you ever insisted on those flimsy leathers of yours."

"If you think I'm letting you dress me, you've got another thing coming, brother," Carver growled. "And you can hardly moan about me not wearing much when you're in a bloody skirt!" he said through his teeth, biting out each word with great effort.

"It would be a travesty to cover up these legs, Carver," Theo replied, smirking despite not really feeling the levity he was going for at seeing his brother looking so pale.

Carver groaned, shaking his head.

"You've lost a lot of blood," Bethany said, as she pushed Carver's hair away from his sweaty face. She glanced at Theo. "We should find somewhere to camp for the night so he can rest."

"I'm fine," Carver reiterated. He struggled to his feet, only to collapse again; Theo caught him and held him up.

"You were saying?" he asked mischievously, even as he gripped his brother tightly. He looked to the others. "Let's get out of this accursed place."

"There was a stream off of the main path a little while down the road; we could camp there?" Varric suggested. Theo nodded.

Fenris sheathed his sword and then picked up both Carver and Hawke's blades. He handed the rogue his, then led the way through the mine. He let his markings glow faintly, not wishing Hawke to trip whilst assisting his brother.

"What happened to not being a light we can flick off and on?" Hawke teased from behind him. Fenris arched a sardonic brow at the human but said nothing. "Oh, I see how it is, you're okay with me falling down some stairs and snapping my neck, but the second Carver's in danger you're a total gent. You're even carrying his sodding sword!" Hawke laughed.

Fenris heard himself chuckle quietly. "If you'd prefer to walk in darkness, I can turn it off," he retorted evenly.

"Don't you dare!" Hawke cried, amused. "I'm having far too much fun watching your perky behind."

Fenris' eyes widened as he spun to look at the human who was now blushing colourfully, both of his siblings groaning while the dwarf nearly choked on his laughter.

"Perky… behind?" Fenris echoed, feeling a blush of his own creep up his neck.

"Uhm, well yes," Hawke stammered, "That's very _tight_ armour you're wearing," he said with a nervous laugh.

Fenris chuckled awkwardly, his gaze returning to the ground before he cleared his throat and returned to watching the path ahead.

That was not the first time Hawke had made such… comments. Fenris had no idea what to make of them. He had never expected anyone to find him pleasing to the eye, not with his strange markings and less than admirable social skills. He brushed it off, thinking little of it; he did not know Hawke very well, after all. It was possible he was like this with everyone, and there were more important things to focus on with all of them tired and one injured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo. Told you there were dragons and shit. But that isn't a surprise considering this is a quest game. One I hopefully made entertaining? I trust you all to let me know, you're all very good at that here. Something I am forever grateful for. <333 
> 
> Also super massive thanks to ElyssaCousland for the beta. She was even doing this over the holidays despite that crazy hectic life of hers. <33 
> 
> I should be back to normal postings of Friday night (mytime) from now on. It's actually super weird for me to go over these early chapters to check them all before posting because I am writing well ahead and SO much has happened and changed by that point (as you'd expect) I mean, I have Neri here now and she is just *laughs* she's taken my average chapter count from 6,000 words up to 10,000 words. I am so salty with her. She's as bad as me. Never shutting up. 
> 
> I'm gonna do that now. 
> 
> Yup. 
> 
> Oh wait, I'm not! I have a tumblr-- if anyone wants it chanty92.tumblr.com (I cannot be bothered to find the hyperlink code sozzzz). Come chat to me, if you're into that! Or just watch me reblog stuff. I might start posting Sacrifices snippets... if people want that sort of thing? I dunno. 
> 
> Okay. That really is everything I hope. 
> 
> Love you all dearly! 
> 
> Chant.


	7. Trying To Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, I suck at these. Seriously.   
> The gang camps together and Theo and Fenris continue to get to know each other with varying degrees of effectiveness. 
> 
> How's that? Vague enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit late. Sorry about that. 
> 
> But the gang go camping, so that's fun! Hopefully. 
> 
> Thanks to my loyal commenters and to ElyssaCousland for betaing. Love you all dearly. <3

By the time they had reached the stream, Carver was very pale and Theo was practically dragging him along. He sat his brother down carefully against a boulder near the river bank, glad to finally be stopping, what with the still-warm early evening sun beating down on them and making them sweat. Theo lifted his brother's tattered shirt up and off of him, surprised that Carver didn't rag on him for it. _He's definitely feeling ill_ , Theo thought worriedly as he handed Carver his canteen, encouraging him to drink some more.

Theo chewed his lip, staring down at the bloodied shirt as Carver drank. "We could try washing and stitching it up a bit," he suggested. "Might make mother slightly less worried that way."

Beth nodded, then pulled something out of her pack. "Eat this," she said as she handed Carver some bread and cheese. He took it greedily, his hands trembling as he munched it down.

"Junior's gonna need a proper meal," Varric pointed out, giving Carver a slightly troubled glance.

"I'll go hunting," Theo said, using the scarf around his neck to wipe the sweat threatening to drip into his eye.

"I'll wash his shirt and stitch it up then," Bethany said with a smile.

"And I can get the fire going," Varric said as he put Bianca down against a rock.

Theo watched Fenris shift on his feet, obviously uncertain what he should do. Despite them working well together, Theo was still reluctant to leave Fenris with the others, especially with Carver too sick to fight and the other two distracted with tending to him.

"You're light-footed enough to come hunting with me, if you want," Theo offered, looking at the elf.

Fenris stared at the human, unsurprised that he seemed to once again not want to leave him in the company of his sister. Not that Fenris minded; he preferred to be away from the mage, especially if she was going to be casting more spells-spells that would make his markings ache. He nodded at Hawke and followed him silently through the trees.

The low evening sun filtered through the thick canopy of leaves above, giving the whole forest a soft orange glow. And for the first time in a very long time, Fenris was able to take in the sights and smells around him, to enjoy the warm and gentle breeze that ruffled his hair and reminded him of Seheron and his time with the Fog Warriors. They had taken him out hunting once, tried to teach him, but Qunari had attacked and cut that lesson short, not long after that, Danarius had come back for him. He shook his head, clearing away the memories threatening to surface.

Hawke led them some distance into the peaceful woodland, only stopping now and again to examine some tracks or a tuft of fur left on a thorny bush. It was a fascinating process to watch, likely little different to how the hunters had been tracking Fenris all these months. He had tried to cover his tracks in the wilds, but it had usually been the towns and cities that led the hunters to him, given how difficult it was to hide his markings and ice-white hair.

"Where did you learn to hunt?" Fenris asked the rogue as Hawke crouched down to inspect something on the ground.

There was a flash of some dark emotion on Hawke's face but it was gone too fast for Fenris to place. "Lothering," Hawke said distantly. Fenris gave him a quizzical look and the rogue looked up at him and shook his head slightly. "Uhh, Ferelden. It's where we lived for most of our lives," Hawke clarified. He stood again and walked forward quietly, his eyes trained on the path in front of them.

"What made you leave?" Fenris inquired.

"Darkspawn," Hawke said with a sigh. He looked up at Fenris, half of his face obscured by the thick dark hair that always seemed to hang over his left eye. "Did you hear about the Blight?"

Fenris nodded. He had heard people discussing it in taverns, but just as quickly as the news had arrived, the Blight was over.

"The darkspawn destroyed our home, our entire village," Hawke went onto explain, his voice still sounding distant and faraway. "We had no choice but to flee."

Fenris nodded sympathetically and Hawke took that to mean he had no further questions as he continued on through the forest.

The rogue suddenly flicked his wrist and a small knife thudded into a nearby tree, pinning a squirrel to it, the blade buried between its eyes. Hawke smiled smugly as he rushed over to it and pulled the knife and squirrel free. "Not bad, eh?" he asked with a boyish grin on his face.

Fenris smirked at him. "I think we require more than a solitary squirrel, Hawke." The rogue snorted derisively and gave him the finger before he stalked off. Fenris followed, smiling wryly.

* * *

 

Hawke ended up catching several squirrels and a rabbit, and when they returned to camp, they found a fire crackling away. "Be honest Varric," Hawke said as he dumped his catches down next to the fire, "Did you have some help with the fire from a certain sister of mine?"

The dwarf feigned offence with a hand over his heart. "Hawke! I'm insulted!" Both of Hawke's brows arched in response and the dwarf smirked. "Oh fine, I may have had a _little_ help."

Bethany chortled from where she sat scrubbing at Carver's shirt in the stream. "He couldn't even reach the branches to gather the firewood."

"Sunshine!" Varric scolded and Bethany laughed some more.

Hawke chuckled as he sat down near to the fire and began deftly preparing the squirrels, breaking their legs and then skinning and gutting them before he skewered them and put them over the fire. Fenris watched quietly from his seat on a log, slightly amazed at how easily Hawke did it. The rogue noticed his stare and Fenris quickly looked away.

"Wanna try?" Hawke asked, and Fenris felt a momentary pang of fear tighten his chest. So many times Danarius had asked if he wanted to try something only to turn it into a mocking game a moment later. But the red-amber eyes looking at him crinkled warmly at the edges and Fenris immediately knew that there was no attempt to ridicule here, just Hawke openly asking him if he wanted to learn a new skill.

Fenris took the offered squirrel and moved to sit on the ground next to the rogue. Hawke went slower through his next squirrel and Fenris followed, copying his movements. The human grinned at him when he was done.

"You're a quick learner," Hawke said with an impressed smile on his face. Fenris felt a small smile at his own lips, and he began preparing the last squirrel while Hawke took care of the rabbit.

Once done, they set them all over the fire, with Hawke turning them gently now and again. "Do you mind keeping an eye on them? I want to check on my brother." Fenris nodded and watched him leave, feeling oddly proud to have learnt how to skin something like this. On the run, he had been forced to steal food much of the time or starve. He always felt guilty about it, but slaves weren't taught to fend for themselves; no, that would give them too much of a chance should they escape, and no magister could allow that.

Theo crouched down next to his brother, smiling at him. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine. Stop fussing," Carver said, looking away, irritated.

"You were nearly dragon food," Theo scolded. "You should have held off until we were all back on our feet."

Carver scoffed loudly. "Right, because your idiotic move climbing along the dragon's _back_ was so much safer!"

Theo smirked slightly as he shook his head. "I panicked!" he laughed. "I thought you were fucking dead." The seriousness of the entire situation suddenly hit him full force and he slumped back against the rock, sighing shakily. "There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep you all safe. _Nothing_."

His brother watched him, his skin pale and his eyes dark from the deep bags beneath them but he nodded soberly. "I know," he whispered, giving him a weak smile.

_No, you don't_ , Theo thought as he turned his gaze to the fire and the elf sitting beyond it, tending to their dinner. He looked gorgeous with flames warming his skin, the reflections dancing in his eyes big green eyes.

Theo cleared his throat and got up to wash himself down in the stream just as Bethany finished cleaning Carver's shirt. She sat down and started sewing, choosing to sit near Varric rather than Fenris. Theo scrubbed at his hands with the little travel soap he kept in his pack and then dunked his head into the water, soaking his hair; he came back up a moment later, shaking his head and both Varric and Bethany let out groans as his hair whipped water in their direction. He laughed as he shoved his hair back from his face, sighing contentedly as he finally felt a bit cooler in the oppressive heat.

"Why not simply cut it?" Fenris suddenly asked.

Theo turned to face him with a smirk at his lips. "The ladies like something to grab onto, Fenris," he said roguishly, even if that wasn't the real reason. Fenris' brow quirked slightly.

"Then I'm surprised you're not bald, brother," Carver laughed out.

Theo chortled, shaking his head. "Me too," he admitted, smiling.

"Ugh, please stop talking," Bethany said with a wrinkle of her nose.

"Think of Sunshine's innocence, Hawke," Varric scolded teasingly.

"The innocent thing is an act," Theo said. "She's quite the potty mouth when she's angry."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about, brother dearest," Bethany said overly sweetly as she turned her nose away from him.

Theo grinned and leant in closer to Varric. "You know she's the reason we got a swear jar back in Lothering?"

Varric gasped, both of his eyebrows arching in shocked surprise before he chuckled, shaking his head at Bethany. His sister narrowed her eyes at Theo and then threw a wet rag at his face.

He caught it deftly, laughing. "You'll have to try better than that, sweet sister."

She glared at him. "You are such a, such a – _Ugh!_ "

She stuck her tongue out at him instead and he grinned as he got up from his spot by the stream to check the meat Fenris had been turning diligently.

Hawke smiled down at him. "Perfect," he said, and Fenris felt himself blushing slightly, so unused to earnest praise. "We can serve it up now."

Fenris nodded and helped him remove the meat from the fire. He couldn't help but notice that Hawke piled the food onto Carver's plate, leaving very little food for himself. They settled down around the fire and Hawke's sister dished out some bread and cheese for them all to accompany the game. It was the most food Fenris had eaten for weeks and he eagerly tucked into it.

"Theo," Bethany said. "Eat with your mouth closed; it won't do to eat like that once we're nobility, you know," she chided, obviously trying to get her own back on her brother for his earlier comments.

Hawke snorted loudly then something wicked sparkled in those warm eyes. He leaned closer to her and began to chew with his mouth open even wider. The mage screamed in disgust as she shoved her sibling away. "You are vile!" she squealed as she tossed a bone at Hawke's head. It bounced harmlessly off his forehead and the rogue nearly choked on his laughter as Bethany stomped her foot on the ground in frustration.

"You know there's nothing but air inside that big head of his, sister," Carver said, smirking.

Hawke scoffed at his brother. " _I'm_ the one with the big head, am I? You can't think of anyone else with a larger one? Nobody at all?" he asked incredulously.

Fenris watched with a supressed smirk as everyone looked to Carver, barely concealing their laughter at his confused expression.

"What? I don't have a big head," he stubbornly stated. "Do I?" he asked, looking at Varric.

The dwarf shrugged, smiling. "It might be a tad on the large side…"

"Ugh, I really do hate you dwarf."

"I can see you're feeling better," Varric chuckled as he pulled out a small journal and began to write.

Fenris watched with a slightly bitter frown, knowing he wouldn't be able to read the words on the page even if he had been close enough to see. Carver tried to peer over the dwarf's shoulder but Varric scooted away from him, hiding the pages from view.

"Now what are you bloody writing?" Carver asked, his voice laced with weariness.

"Drawing, actually," Varric replied with a smile.

"Damn it, you better not be drawing me with a large head!" Carver complained loudly.

"Don't worry Carver; it'll match my large nose," Hawke offered, smirking.

"But you said we have the same nose!"

Theo laughed heartily along with everyone else, and his eyes naturally drifted to Fenris, finding the elf staring into the flames with an unreadable expression on his face. He felt momentarily guilty; Fenris had no memory of his childhood; he probably didn't even know if he had any family, and here Theo was laughing away with his. Not that there was much he could do about it. He'd tried to include Fenris as much as possible, and there was no way he was about to start brooding just to make the elf feel better.

"Right," Theo said as he stood up and stretched his arms above his head, "we should get some rest. Who wants first watch?"

"I'll take it," Fenris offered, and Theo nodded at him in thanks.

He glanced at Bethany. "Think you could set some wards down?"

"Sure," she said with a smile as she got up and walked to the perimeter of their camp and crouched down, the faint glow of her magic only just visible.

Fenris watched her cautiously, feeling the thrum of her magic vibrate through the lyrium in his skin. It was always the same feeling, the dull ache that throbbed in time with his beating heart. He swallowed down the repulsion that feeling always brought about in him. He looked away, catching Hawke's gaze lingering on him instead, watching him as carefully as Fenris had been watching Bethany. Hawke stared him down until the count of three before he turned and helped his brother with his bed roll. Fenris felt a certain amount of guilt for having been caught watching Bethany, until he recalled that he had told Hawke he would do just that when they'd first met.

Theo settled down next to his sister but he already knew he wasn't going to get any sleep – not with just Fenris on watch. He wanted to trust the elf, he just couldn't. It didn't help that he couldn't read the elf's expressions very easily. Apparently years of being a slave had taught Fenris to school his expression into an impassive mask. Fenris was so different from Theo in that regard; he wore most of his emotions on his sleeve and usually couldn't lie for shit, not about the important stuff anyway. Humour was his only mask, and usually it was easy to see the pain he was trying to hide. He would just need to get to know Fenris better, he decided; he needed to give him a chance. He'd had their backs so far, so that was something.

It wasn't much later, with him tossing and turning and uncomfortable, that he sat up and rubbed his face. His eyes met Fenris' through the barely crackling fire. Fenris was just watching him, his eyes slightly hidden by his white hair, his expression unreadable, as usual. Theo rolled his shoulders, trying to distract himself from that enigmatic gaze.

"Can't sleep?" Fenris' voice drifted over to him.

"Mmm," Theo hummed as he got to his feet. He sat himself down near the elf, leaning back against a boulder. "You can go get some sleep, if you like," he said quietly.

"I would prefer to stay on watch," Fenris admitted, his eyes momentarily flicking to Bethany's sleeping form.

Theo let out a derisive snort as he rubbed at his temples wearily. "So you won't sleep because you're surrounded by magical wards and don't trust my sister not to start slitting her wrists and summoning demons, and I can't sleep because I don't trust you not to hurt her. Sound about right?"

Fenris watched Hawke a moment, expecting him to be cross, but he realised quickly as Hawke leaned back against the rock, sighing slightly, that he was just being frank. "I believe so, yes," Fenris replied just as candidly.

Hawke nodded thoughtfully, turning his head a little to better look at him. "I'd give you my word that she won't hurt you, but my word probably means diddly-squat to you; and you could assure me that you won't harm my sister unless provoked, but I don't trust you, not yet at least. So I guess we're both going to be up all night," he said and then laughed a little awkwardly at the suggestive nature of his comment.

"Diddly-squat?" Fenris asked, craning his head slightly. "I take it that means a very small amount?"

"Spot on," Hawke said, smiling. "Lothering was a small village and the people there tended to use odd turns of phrase. Seems a few stuck," he said sounding a little wistful.

"Would… you return?"

"To Lothering?" Fenris nodded. "It's gone."

"Even so, you could return to Ferelden."

"I… wouldn't want to. Things there, they weren't always pleasant," he said with a dark look in his eyes. "You asked why I keep my hair long?" Fenris stayed silent, nodding slightly. "It was short in Lothering. I didn't have the beard either. But I changed almost everything about myself after…"

"Hawke," Fenris said watching as the young rogue swallowed thickly. "There is no need to explain. I was merely curious." Hawke nodded tightly and stared up at the cloudless sky above.

"Is it difficult?" Hawke asked after a few long minutes. Fenris quirked a questioning brow at him, wondering where the rogue's mind had drifted off to now. "Not remembering anything before those markings," he clarified.

"Yes," Fenris said simply.

Theo nodded sadly and returned to stare up at the stars above. It was a beautiful night and the sky was alight with bursts of colour. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he said quietly. Fenris grunted in reply, his gaze fixed on the stars. Theo tried to recall the last time he had watched the stars with someone and he realised that it had been with Tanner. _Maker_ , he thought, _has it really been four years_? And now here he was with another attractive male doing the same thing. He frowned, not wanting to compare Fenris to Tanner; for starters, Fenris was barely an acquaintance while Tanner had been… well, he'd been Theo's first for just about everything.

Theo got to his feet quickly, needing a distraction. "I'm going to go for a run," he announced suddenly.

"A…run?"

"Yes, you know, you move your legs very fast in one direction."

"I am familiar with the term," Fenris stated dryly. "Why now?" he asked.

"Need to clear my head," he said. "And I never was one for sitting still for long."

"Something we have in common," Fenris replied.

Theo smiled at him as he stretched his legs. "I would invite you, but seeing as you're supposed to be on watch still…"

"Oh, just go already," Varric said, yawning. "You've already woken me and Bianca up. We'll keep watch," he said as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes.

Theo glanced back down at Fenris, grinning. "Race you?" The elf's impassive mask shifted as his eyes glinted dangerously. _Ah, so he has a competitive streak, does he_? Theo thought with wry amusement. "We'll race to the old oak we passed on the way up here." Fenris got to his feet silently, nodding in agreement. Theo grinned. "Be warned, I don't play fair," he said, sprinting full force out of the clearing.

Varric chuckled to himself as the elf's eyes narrowed before he took off after Hawke. He pulled out his journal once more; things were certainly going to be interesting around Hawke.

Theo charged down the stony path with just the moonlight illuminating the shrubs and trees to his left and the rocky bluff to his right. He could see the big oak ahead, a giant shadow looming over everything else. He couldn't hear Fenris and his grin widened. He had it in the bag.

He suddenly heard the snap of twigs to his left and saw a flash of white. He hissed, realising Fenris had gone the riskier but, admittedly, shorter route through the forest.

"No fucking way," Theo growled as he picked up his pace.

The tree was so close now - but Fenris was insanely fast. The elf broke out of the treeline and charged full speed toward the oak. Theo didn't stand a chance even with his longer stride.

Fenris' hand touched the tree, accompanied by a slightly panted ' _ha'_ and Theo groaned as he skidded to a stop, gasping for breath. It wasn't often that he felt _slow_ but damn it all if Fenris didn't make him look like a snail.

"Andraste's sagging tits, elf!" Theo wheezed out. "How the fuck are you so fast? Does the lyrium supercharge you or something?"

"Because it couldn't possibly be natural skill," Fenris said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean-" Theo said breathlessly. He shook his head. "Sorry."

"We should return to camp," Fenris said dismissively as he began heading back, his pace fast. Theo sighed and joined him, regretting his hasty words.

The elf took the forest path again and Theo followed, hoping he wouldn't trip over and break his neck in the process. Somehow he doubted Fenris would light up the way for him after what he'd just said. He really did need to use some kind of filter when talking to Fenris, but if he'd never managed that before, he doubted he'd be able to start now.

Luckily, it didn't take long to get back to camp.

Fenris immediately settled down by the tree again and Theo nodded at Varric in thanks as he headed to his bedroll. With Varric still at least a bit awake and on watch, he might actually be able to sleep some. If Fenris _did_ try anything, Theo would just have to hope he woke up for it. He was usually a light sleeper, but he _was_ feeling tired now, his eyes starting to close on their own. And him staying up while this tired would probably result in him saying more stupid shit to Fenris, shit that would get him fisted, and not in the good way.

* * *

 

"So, elf," Varric said once Hawke's snores drifted over to them. "What do you think of the Hawkes so far? Interesting bunch, don't you think?" Fenris grunted, barely lifting his head in response as he stared broodingly into the dying fire. "They're good people," Varric went on. "Stick with us, elf, and coming to Kirkwall will be the best decision you ever made."

Fenris let out a short and scathing snort. "This city, like every other I have been to, will soon be nothing more than a fleeting memory."

"Not planning on sticking around, then?" he asked. _My, my, Hawke will be disappointed,_ Varric thought as he glanced over at the sleeping rogue.

"I – have not decided," Fenris admitted.

He still believed that he owed Hawke a debt, and if that meant accompanying him on this Deep Roads expedition then he would gladly aid him. Until then, he would wait for more hunters to come; he had no desire to run again so soon. But he knew it was dangerous to tempt fate, even with Hawke's supposed support, it might not be enough to fight off whatever Danarius was planning to send at him next. And the last thing he wanted was to become dependent on others for assistance, to become dull and complacent while he waited, because eventually this would end and he would be running yet again. That was inevitable.

For now, however, he would enjoy the illusion of freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I confess. I dislike writing Fen in these early chapters because getting the balance between him being hostile and broody and impassive and shit and him being curious is really hard--and I need him at least a little curious and stuff to move the plots forward. As much as Theo likes to blabber, it doesn't quite work THAT well. Anyway. I trust you all to tell me if I'm doing a shite job or not. XD. 
> 
> The camping trip continues into next week but they'll also head home then for a group dinner thing. Which is. Well. It's something. 
> 
> See you all then! 
> 
> ~ Chant.


	8. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like the Sun, Theo can be bright and cheerful one moment and dull and cold the next.
> 
> This one's got banter, lavender perfume, pheasants and drunk Gamlen. What more could you want from a chapter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo lovelies. It's uhh not Friday for me any more but it is for my friends over the Pond so Ima pretend this still counts as me updating when I usually do... k? XD
> 
> Thanks for the comments, as always guys <3 I really do get just the most amazing comments here on AO3 and they never ever fail to leave me grinning like the Joker. I've said it to some. But I have a Tumblr, if anyone wants to talk to me for reals. http://chanty92.tumblr.com/

Bethany watched the sunrise, smiling as the first rays of dawn broke through the trees to warm her skin. Everyone else was still asleep; even Fenris had fallen asleep against the tree, his neck bent in a way that she knew would not be pleasant come waking. Varric was curled up at her left, hugging Bianca close to his chest and looking adorable. Carver slept to her right, in his usual state, dribbling down his chin and snoring lightly. And Theo was sprawled out on his back, his long limbs stretched out in odd positions as he slept soundly.

She missed camping with her siblings. They had done it all the time in Lothering – never going too far, sometimes they just slept under the stars in one of the fields around their home. They'd be up most of the night talking and watching the stars, and come morning they would rise with the sun, the fields basked in yellow light, glistening brightly. It had never failed to take her breath away. Sunrises in Kirkwall were different though, the air was too smoky to see the sun clearly, and even out in the countryside it often failed to really lighten her spirits. But she knew that it probably wasn't the sun's fault. They had all been down since coming to Kirkwall. It was only since getting out of the city that they had all finally lightened up a bit, and not a moment too soon either; she wasn't sure mother could bear seeing her children brawl openly in the house again.

Fenris was the first to stir, and he immediately stretched his neck with a slight grimace. Bethany thought to offer him healing for a fleeting second before remembering the elf wouldn't appreciate such a thing. Their eyes met for a moment before Fenris nodded curtly and stood. She watched him disappear into the trees and then moved forward to get the fire going, seeing as she was less likely to _offend_ him with her magic while he was gone. She let the flames lick at her fingertips before setting some wood alight. It caught quickly and required little stoking from her before it returned to being a proper crackling fire. She cast an ice spell inside the kettle and then put it over the fire and readied the tea.

She had just finished brewing herself a cup when Fenris returned. She smiled up at him and offered him a mug. He seemed reluctant to accept it for a moment, but she could tell he didn't want to be rude either, so he took it anyway. He returned to his spot by the tree, about as far from her as he could get and took a tentative sip of his drink before giving her a small nod in thanks.

The smell of fresh tea seemed to rouse Carver and Varric and they both sat up with a groan, accepting mugs of her tea gratefully.

"How are you feeling?" she asked her brother.

Carver took a quick sip of his tea and then smiled at her. "Better, thank you." He took another sip before looking at her again. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," she said with a contented sigh. "It's nice being out of the city."

Carver smiled, and that expression turned into a smirk as he eyed their brother still sprawled out on his back. "I can see he had no trouble sleeping either."

"Actually, Junior," Varric said, his voice sounding sleep rough, "he went for a jog before finally settling down."

"A _jog?_ " Carver asked in surprise. Theo usually went for jogs when he needed to clear his head, if he had done so last night, it probably wasn't a good sign.

Varric nodded. "He went off with our brooding elf friend," he said giving the elf a wry smile. _Oh, well that changes things,_ she couldn't help but think.

"You went for run by moonlight together?" she asked Fenris, unable to keep the smile from her lips. Her brother was so completely smitten!

"It was more of a race." Fenris shrugged.

Carver laughed. "Please tell me you won!" Fenris smiled smugly and Carver grinned. "I bet he hated you for that; he's spent years trying to get faster." That was true she remembered a little sadly. After father had died, Theo had become a little obsessed with it, actually. Hopefully Fenris beating him hadn't made him too paranoid.

"Well, the race must have tired him out if he's still asleep," she said as she watched her sleeping brother's chest fall and rise steadily. "He never usually lies in this late."

"You know what that means, don't you sister?"

She glanced at Carver, noticing the mischievous glint in his blue eyes and she grinned in realisation. "Oh! What was it last time? Ice cubes in his pants?"

"No, no, I think it was the frog on his chest."

"This a common occurrence then?" Varric asked, watching them both with a slightly worried looking expression.

"No," Bethany said, "Theo never sleeps in, but when he does," she glanced at her sleeping brother and smiled wickedly, "we like to wake him in… imaginative ways."

Varric chuckled. "With a look like that, Sunshine, you're making me almost glad to have Bartrand for a brother." She stuck her tongue out at him, laughing. "Hawke afraid of anything?" he asked.

Carver and Bethany both shook their heads no and then Bethany smiled. "I have an idea!" She rummaged through her pack and pulled out the small bottle of perfume she kept in it. Carver noticed the purple liquid and grinned.

"Oh, he _hates_ lavender."

"Why do you think I keep it on me? I spritz him with it when he annoys me," she said, giggling slightly. Varric snorted, hard.

Fenris watched her creep over to Hawke, slowly undoing the bottle in her hand. Unlike the rest of them, Fenris seemed to have been the only once to notice the change in Hawke's breathing as they all discussed how to wake the rogue.

He was awake.

Hawke's fingers twitched, ready to pounce as his sister stood over him, about to pour. That's when the rogue leapt up and grabbed his sister by the legs. He dragged her to the ground as she screamed, and the bottle was knocked from her hands in the process. It spilt over the both of them, soaking them, and Hawke immediately let go of his sister as he began to retch into the dirt on hands and knees. Bethany hit him on the back playfully, screaming that it was in her hair. Everyone else was roaring with laughter and Fenris even found himself chuckling at the sight. He hadn't been part of a group like this for a long time. The Fog Warriors had been a mixed group of individuals, all brought together by one thing: the want to fight for their land. None had been related, but they acted as much like a family as any Fenris had ever seen. And they had welcomed him in.

It was strange to find himself in a similar situation now, or close enough to it.

Hawke groaned as he wiped his lip and sat up. Then those garnet eyes were turned on his sister who was backing away, hands held up. "Theo…"

Something wicked and a little sinister flashed across Hawke's face and then he was charging at her. Bethany ran and hid behind Carver. She clutched at his shirt so he couldn't get away and Hawke came to a stop in front of his brother, knees bent and ready to attack. They seemed to share a very brief look and then Carver was ducking to the side, leaving Bethany vulnerable for Hawke to grab.

"Carver, you traitor!" she squealed as Hawke pinned her to the ground.

"I didn't want to get lavender on me!" Carver protested.

" _He's_ a good sibling," Hawke hissed. " _He_ didn't decide to wake me with _lavender."_ His fingers began to tickle at her sides and Bethany squirmed.

"Theo!" she laughed. "No! Get off, ahhhh!" she cried as she tried to wriggle free of his grasp.

"I should ask Fenris to tickle you to death; it's no less than you deserve, sweet sister," Hawke said, his tone playfully wicked.

Bethany gasped and smacked him in the chest. "You wouldn't dare!" she said, eyes widening.

"You're right, I'd rather do it myself," he said as he tickled her ribs. She wailed in protest and hit Hawke full in the chest with a blast of magic that Fenris felt ripple across his markings, making him clench his fists. Hawke hit the ground with a thud, gasping for breath before he started to laugh hard.

Their laughter finally died down and Hawke sat up slowly, groaning as he sniffed his shirt. "Maker's balls, Beaver!" he said affectionately to his sister. "I can't fucking wear this now. Might have to walk home naked."

"Ugh, don't even think about it, Teddy," Bethany said fondly back, shaking her head as her nose crinkled slightly at the thought.

"I second that," Carver said. "We've all seen far too much as it is thanks to that skirt of yours."

"Agreed," Varric said, chuckling.

Hawke glanced in Fenris' direction, a grin at his face. "No opinion, Fenris?"

"No," he said keeping his expression deliberately blank.

Hawke smirked and pulled his shirt off over his head as he headed to the stream. Fenris watched him, his eyes raking up Hawke's slim back as the muscles shifted under his tanned skin. They lingered on the tattoo on his shoulder blade. It was a bird of some sort, a hawk, Fenris presumed, only it was a dark red, like the scarf Hawke wore around his neck – the very same scarf he was now washing frantically in the river. Hawke's back and shoulders muscles continued to ripple as he crouched over, scrubbing his clothes clean of the perfume, and Fenris quickly averted his gaze, finding the dwarf's instead. Varric's copper eyes were gleaming brightly as a smirk tugged at his lips, and Fenris dropped his gaze to the ground, frowning slightly.

Theo lifted the now-drenched shirt and nearly gagged again. Wet, lavender-scented shirts were apparently no better than dry ones. "I think the shirt's a loss," he said, as he returned to scrubbing at it with the stream's water and the small bar of soap they'd used the night before on Carver's blood-stained clothes. "But I think father's scarf is relatively perfume free," he said, feeling rather relieved for that small mercy. There hadn't been a single day since father's death where he hadn't worn it, but he'd struggle to keep it around his neck if it stank of that vile stuff.

"I'll have to buy new robes," Bethany said back ruefully. "I might have to shave my hair, too!" she exclaimed. She started to smirk as she looked at him, her garnet eyes glistening. "Did any get on your beard?"

He frowned a little as he rubbed his hairy jaw. "No… why?" he asked, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

"Darn," Bethany cursed with a pump of her arm.

Theo gasped and threw his wet shirt at her; it hit her full force in the face, splattering her with water. Beth screamed. "Theodore!" she wailed. "You are such a – such a-"

"Remember the swear jar, Beth," he chided with a shit-eating-grin.

"Ugh!" she shouted, stomping her foot.

He laughed and she glared at him. "Oh come on, Beth, I'm only teasing. Give your brother a kiss!"

"No!" She turned her head away from him.

"Come on." He gave her puppy eyes. She gave him a sideways glance before turning her nose up at him.

He got to his feet and her eyes went wide. "Don't you dare!"

He grabbed her again and planted a big wet kiss on the side of her face, making loud kissy noises as he did so. She screamed and started to giggle as he laughed along with her, his body shaking with mirth. She finally stopped resisting him and leant into to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"You are insufferable," she sighed, smiling, "and you stink of lavender." He chortled, shaking his head, as he returned to the stream to try to wash more of the vile scent off of him.

"As entertaining as that was, shouldn't we think about heading back to the city soon?" Varric questioned, closing his journal as Theo met his gaze over his shoulder.

"Mmm," Theo hummed in agreement. He glanced at Carver. "Do you need a cooked breakfast?"

"I'll be fine with what we have," his brother said, "although, I doubt any of us will object to more roast squirrel."

Theo smiled, rolling his eyes. "I'll see what I can find."

He got up and looked pleadingly at his sister as he held his sopping wet shirt in his hands. "Please?" he asked, batting his lashes at her. She laughed and took the shirt from him, using just enough heat to dry it but not enough to set it on fire before she passed it back to him with a smile. He grinned at her. "Thank you!" he said as he shoved it back on, smiling at the warmth that spread across his body even as his nose crinkled at the lavender he could still smell.

He put his armour back on, checking all of his throwing knives were on his belt before he rolled his shoulders. He glanced at Fenris and found the elf staring at him. "Fancy joining me?"

Fenris hesitated a moment as he looked up at Hawke's burnished gaze. He did not want to become overly used to the man's company, but if he could learn to hunt then that would serve to increase his independence as such a skill would be useful if – _when_ – he found himself on the run again. He nodded and rose swiftly to his feet. Hawke smiled and led the way through the trees with the sun shining brightly down on them.

"Did you sleep in the end?" Hawke asked.

"Some," Fenris admitted as he rolled his neck, annoyed that it was so stiff from sleeping awkwardly.

"I hope my brother's snores didn't keep you up," Hawke mused. Fenris shrugged in reply and Hawke smiled. "You'll get used to it - if you stick with us, that is."

"This will not last," Fenris said gruffly.

"Well not that with that attitude, it won't."

"Danarius will come, do not doubt that."

"So? If you want to stay, stay. I won't let that fucker make you a slave again," Hawke said with more heat than Fenris had anticipated, his carnelian eyes flashing with anger. The rogue sighed roughly through his nose at seeing the surprise on Fenris' face. "Sorry," he mumbled as he ran a hand through his messy hair, only succeeding in mussing it further. "We just got out of servitude to a right prick of a man – not to say servitude is worse than slavery, of course," he added quickly. "But well, I wouldn't wish that - or anything worse than that - on anyone." Fenris nodded, unsure of what to say, and Hawke continued on through the forest.

It was odd to think he might have an ally rather than paid assistance against the next pack of hunters sent to capture him. Most people he had met since escaping from Danarius' clutches had not been so selfless. It was a trait he was unused to, and if he was being honest, rather suspicious of. But there was nothing sinister about Hawke. His emotions were always clear to see across his face and Fenris had always been good at reading such subtle shifts in emotion – you had to be in order to survive as a slave, more so as a body guard.

"Would it not be easier to use a bow?" Fenris asked after Hawke knifed yet another squirrel.

Hawke pulled the knife out of the squirrel, putting it back on his belt before he tied the squirrel to the string where the other kills hung over his shoulder. "Probably," Hawke said offhandedly, not bothering to glance at him, his shoulders tensing. Fenris watched him with a frown, expecting Hawke to elaborate but the rogue said no more on the subject as he walked off, deeper into the woods.

"See these?" Hawke said as he crouched down on the ground a moment later, moving some fallen leaves out of the way. Fenris nodded as he examined the tracks very faintly visible in the dry dirt. "Pheasant tracks. Quite old, but it's possible I can find some fresher tracks, would make for a nice dinner tonight." He got to his feet but stayed low as he crept forwards.

Fenris watched him, following silently behind, impressed by the way the human seemed to pick up on things that Fenris never would have noticed. "You said you learnt in Ferelden, but who taught you to hunt?" he found himself asking as Hawke stopped yet again to examine the ground.

"My father, a bit," he said his voice thick with melancholy. "And a… friend of mine," Hawke's voice caught as he said 'friend', and he cleared his throat roughly.

"Your father, is he…?"

Hawke nodded, his face crumpling a little. "He died four years ago," he explained as he gripped the scarf that had belonged to his father around his neck tightly, looking close to tears.

"I'm sorry," Fenris said as he shifted on his feet.

Hawke gave him a watery smile. "It's fine," he sniffed, laughing in embarrassment. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Come on, we have a pheasant to find, assuming the scent of lavender doesn't scare it off first," he added with a rueful shake of his head. He looked at Fenris. "Is the smell bad? It's all I can actually smell right now."

"It is… quite strong," Fenris admitted.

"I think I'd honestly rather smell of shit than bloody lavender," he groused. Fenris smiled at his back.

Hawke soon held out his hand for Fenris to stop as he silently crouched in the tall grass. Fenris looked ahead, trying to see what Hawke's predatory gaze had locked onto out in the clearing. His own elven eyes spotted the rustle of grass, only the slightest bit of movement, but it wasn't caused by the wind—the grass around it too still for that. Hawke's every muscle was tensed, drawn taut, ready to fly into action. A hand slowly pulled a dagger free of his belt, his gaze never leaving that tiny patch of moving grass.

Hawke whistled and the bird's colourful head popped up over the grass, a loud shrill cry leaving its beak before it took flight. Hawke's arm moved in a blur, the dagger flying through the air just as quickly. It thudded into the bird, dropping it to the ground. Hawke grinned at him over his shoulder and all Fenris could do was blink in astonishment and watch as the rogue darted forwards through the grass to fetch his prize.

"Nicely done," Fenris said as Hawke walked back with it. The rogue gave him a haughty bow, his amber eyes glistening proudly. "You were taught well," he said frankly.

Hawke straightened, nodding a little stiffly. "I had good teachers," he said earnestly, smiling sadly. "Come, we should head back," he said brusquely. "I wouldn't want anyone thinking we were doing anything untoward out here," he said with a smirk and a quirk of his brow. Fenris blinked at him and Hawke laughed loudly.

They returned to the camp, finding it in much the same way as they had the previous night with Varric tending the fire, Carver against the rock and Bethany washing her clothes in the stream, likely trying to remove the scent of lavender from her robes. They were all impressed with Hawke's kills and the rogue kept his smug demeanour as he began to prepare the squirrels, but Fenris could still see the tension in his shoulders and the sorrow his smiles were trying and failing to hide. The others seemed to notice it too, if the slightly worried glances they gave one another were anything to go by, and Fenris felt a pang of guilt for having brought up what were clearly painful memories for the rogue.

* * *

 

"Want to join us for dinner, Varric?" Theo asked the dwarf as they walked through the Lowtown streets together with the late afternoon sun warming their backs.

"Do I really want to eat what you cook, Hawke?" Varric asked.

"I didn't hear any complaints about the squirrel I cooked last night and this morning," he scoffed.

Varric lifted his hands placatingly. "Being able to cook meat is rather different to an entire roast, don't you think?"

"He _is_ terrible at cutting vegetables," Bethany revealed, smiling cheekily.

"Taste is more important than presentation, Bethy!"

"Whatever you say, Theo."

"Well, I won't say no to a free meal," Varric said. Theo smiled and then glanced at the elf walking quietly behind their group.

"What about you, Fenris?" Theo asked, startling the elf out of his thoughts. "Joining us for dinner?"

"Uhh," Fenris hesitated, clearing his throat. "No. Thank you, though," he said with a dip of his head.

Theo smiled at him and walked backwards down the street, letting the others walk ahead. "You sure?" he asked tilting his head slightly. "Have you even bought food for that mansion of yours? Most of the markets will be out of stock by now," he explained.

"No," he admitted. "Even so, I would not wish to intrude-"

"You wouldn't be!" Theo exclaimed. "Besides, you helped me catch this fucker," he said shaking the pheasant in his hand. "You deserve to eat it."

"I hardly think I helped…" Fenris objected, scowling a little.

"Course you did, I wouldn't have stayed out in the forest trying to impress you if you weren't at my side," Theo said with a wink. He laughed heartily at the awkward chuckle Fenris let out in response. "Come on, don't you want to meet my mother and my charming uncle?" he cajoled. "It's a free meal…" He batted his lashes at the elf.

Fenris sighed slightly. "Very well, Hawke. Thank you."

Theo grinned. "Excellent!"

They all headed inside together and Mother pounced on them immediately, dragging Theo and his siblings into a tight hug, with Theo stuck right at the centre, the breath getting squeezed out of his lungs. "Oh my darlings!" she crooned as she squeezed tighter. "Where have you been? I was worried sick!"

"Sorry, mother," Theo wheezed out, his face getting redder by the minute.

"We had to make camp; the job took longer than planned," Bethany explained apologetically.

Their mother finally let them all go and Theo swallowed down a gulp of air, noticing the dwarf snickering behind his hand in amusement. Fenris even had a slight smile at his lips. Theo blushed and straightened, trying to compose himself again.

"Carver!" mother suddenly wailed as she grabbed a hold of his shoulders and stared down at his hastily repaired shirt and armour. "What happened?" she fretted as she checked him over for injury, hugged him and then checked him over some more, all the while Carver just groaned, blushing up to his ears.

"I'm fine, mother," he reassured her, "It was just a scratch."

"Your shirt's been shredded!"

Theo cleared his throat. "Mother, we have guests," he prompted, noting the relieved look on Carver's face as mother finally let go of Carver and looked to their guests with a welcoming smile. "Allow me to introduce you to Varric of house Tethras, Bartand's brother and our business partner."

"A pleasure to meet you," Varric said with a bow.

His mother gave the dwarf a stern look. "You better keep my boy safe on this expedition of yours."

"You have my word, Madame," Varric swore.

Mother smiled and nodded. "Then it is very nice to meet you, Master Tethras."

She gave him her hand and, instead of shaking it, Varric kissed it, eliciting a broad smile from their mother and a laugh from Theo and his siblings. "And you, my lady."

Theo noticed Fenris shifting on his feet, swallowing apprehensively.

"And mother, this is Fenris. We met him just the other night and I daresay he's better than Aveline with a sword." He deliberately left the _and Carver_ part out.

"My, my," mother said, eyeing Fenris with interest. "It's lovely to meet you, dear."

"And you," Fenris said with a dip of his head.

Theo put a hand on mother's shoulder before she could offer Fenris her hand. "And look what Fenris helped me catch," he said with a grin, noting the grateful nod Fenris gave him at having distracted his mother from trying to shake his hand. His mother's face lit up at the sight of the pheasant.

"Oh darling, that's wonderful!" she said, smiling brightly. "Will you be cooking it?" she coyly asked.

"I caught it; I'll cook it," he sombrely replied. It had been one of father's sayings. He hadn't been the best hunter, being an apostate, but when he did catch something he was always so proud and couldn't wait to cook it all himself.

"He would be proud of you, Theodore," his mother said with a soft smile as she patted his arm. Theo nodded, swallowing thickly as he headed toward the kitchen.

"I could use a hand," he said to Fenris, and the elf nodded humbly even as he looked relieved to be leaving the living room. "Oh and mother, is Gamlen around?" Theo asked just before reaching the kitchen door, Fenris at his heels.

"Not currently, although I suspect he will return home just before dinner," she said with a wry smile.

"Bloody bugger," Theo laughed.

"Language, Theo!"

"Sorry mother," he muttered contritely as he headed into the kitchen. He dumped the pheasant down on the counter and sighed slightly. "So, Fenris, I'm guessing you've never handled a cock before?" Theo said with an impish grin, as he patted the male pheasant, making Fenris snort with laughter.

"None quite like this, no."

Theo grinned. "Then I guess I'll just have to teach you," he said huskily, as he moved closer to the warrior, "won't I?"

The elf blushed, clearing his throat as green eyes peered up at him through thick white hair. Theo backed off, wincing slightly. He really needed to stop flirting. The problem with always speaking your mind—as he often did—was that you said things that really ought not to be said, especially to a recently escaped slave who probably didn't even _like_ men.

"Especially if we want to eat tonight," he finished, turning away from those forest green eyes and back to the only cock that currently mattered.

* * *

 

Leandra flattened her skirt as she sat down at the dinner table and crossed her legs. "So," she said as she looked at her youngest son, "are you going to tell me just what happened to you, Carver, or do I have to ask your charming friend here?" she said with a smile at the dwarf.

"Oh-ho, I think it would sound better coming from your son, Madam," Varric was quick to reply.

"So do I," Leandra replied, looking to her son expectantly. Bethany was busy making a pot of tea over the fire but Leandra could see her daughter trying her very best to stay out of the conversation.

Carver rubbed his forearms anxiously. "But Varric is so much better at telling stories, mother," he retorted.

"My stories are full of embellishments and artful lies hidden in slight truths. Your mother wants honesty, Junior," Varric argued rather smoothly.

Her son grumbled something under his breath and Leandra arched her brows at him. "So I can hear, darling," she scolded with a smile. Honestly, did her children think she would break if they told her the truth of some of the things they got up to? She had done her fair share of dangerous and rebellious acts in her youth, usually sneaking out to see Malcolm— a memory of a particularly brash and ill-advised roof top climb in the icy winter flittered through her mind. She had fond memories of that night; Malcolm had actually caught her as she slipped from the roof, that old romantic sap.

"There was a dragon," Carver said, sighing and pulling Leandra right out of her thoughts.

She had not been expecting that! "A _dragon!_ " she exclaimed.

"Don't worry, mother; we killed it," Bethany said as she came to squeeze her shoulders reassuringly. Leandra blinked at her children, seeing no lie on their faces.

"It was at the Bone Pit," Carver explained. "It killed most of the workers there."

"That's awful!" she said shaking her head. "How is it you all seem to encounter the most unlikely of things? Nobody else in Lowtown fights demons, walking corpses and giant spiders, but you all seem to come across these things every other night of the week!"

"Blame Theo," Carver said, smirking. "He's the one dragging us into these messes."

"I heard that!" Theo shouted from the kitchen, appearing in the doorway with his arm buried up the poor bird's vent. "The Deep Roads expedition was _your_ idea, Carver!" he said as he waggled the pheasant at his brother, making Leandra roll her eyes at her son's distastefulness. "And if there's anyone here to blame for that, it's Varric for being so damned charming," he said, laughing.

Varric mock-bowed, making an elaborate show of the dramatic gesture. "Alas, Junior here wouldn't know charming if it came up and wooed him out of his smalls," he said with a charismatic smile.

Theo chuckled and returned to the kitchen, focusing his attention back on the bird his arm was currently buried in. He let Fenris stuff it while he cut up some vegetables, and he couldn't help but notice Fenris was watching him with a wry little smile at his lips. "What?" he asked as his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"You sister was not wrong about your cutting skills."

Theo glanced down at the awkwardly shaped vegetables and chortled. "So I'm not very refined. That's not exactly news, is it?" Fenris just smirked in reply as he returned to stuffing the bird.

They put it all in the rather basic clay oven and Theo smiled as he rubbed sweat from his brow. "Thanks for the help. We'll make a chef of you yet," he said with playful admiration.

"I appreciate the lessons, Hawke," Fenris replied, those olivine eyes of his staring up at him earnestly. Theo smiled, nodding in reply.

"Right, I was thinking about popping out. I have some errands I should run," Theo said.

"Oh?"

"Mother's been busy baking bread all day because she was worried about us," Theo said as he pointed to the five loaves currently stacked on their worktop. "We'll never get through all of that, so I figured I'd drop a few off at Lirene's," he explained. "She's this local woman who helps the Fereldan refugees."

Fenris was staring at him, looking both baffled and amused. Theo scowled at him. "Now what?" he asked a little exasperatedly.

"You're a good man, Hawke."

Theo opened and closed his mouth a few times before settling on a frown. "You wouldn't be saying that if you saw me two days ago," he muttered, his fingers rubbing at his scarf. He shook his head. "I need to pick some vegetables," he said brusquely as he turned and headed out into their small garden.

"Do you need a hand?" Fenris asked from the doorway.

"Sure."

He crouched down next to the potatoes. "Brush the soil away to find them," he said demonstrating, "The bigger the better, really."

Fenris glanced at him, a smirk at his lips and Theo laughed loudly. "That was not intentional, for once." Fenris' brow quirked sardonically and Theo grinned. "Oh sod off," he laughed as he got up to find the carrots.

* * *

 

"I'm popping over to Lirene's," Theo informed his mother once they were done picking vegetables. "We shan't be too long." He kissed his mother on the cheek and she smiled warmly.

"Do you need us to do anything in the kitchen?"

"Not by you," he chided softly, "but Carver or Bethany could keep an eye on things while we're out."

His siblings nodded and Theo headed for the door, only for it to swing open, revealing his uncle. Theo stopped in his tracks, his body tensing as he smelled the liquor on him.

"Oh look, guests," Gamlen sneered. "Gonna eat without me, were yah?" he slurred in Theo's face. Theo clenched and unclenched his fists and took a step back from his uncle.

"It's not even ready yet, uncle," he said, his voice strained.

Gamlen scoffed, staggering over to the desk to check through their mail, grunting when he realised none of it was for him. "What is it anyway?" he asked.

"Pheasant."

"Humph, catch it yerself, did yah?" Gamlen asked as he turned to face Theo again, a scowl deepening the wrinkles on his brow.

"Yes," Theo said through clenched teeth. "What did _you_ do today?"

"Theo…" his mother warned.

"It's none of your business, boy," Gamlen spat.

Theo took a threatening step forward. "It is when you come home drunk and antagonistic every night."

"You're one to talk about antagno –antagonistic," Gamlen argued, his words slurred. Theo's shoulders tensed and his uncle smirked maliciously at him. "Oh, is the man of the house gonna fight me next? Put me in my place?" Gamlen challenged mockingly.

Theo opened his mouth to retort but his mother shoved her chair back from the table, drawing both of their attentions to her. "Stop it, both of you!" she yelled angrily.

"I was heading out anyway," Theo said as he headed to the door. "Come on Fenris."

They headed outside together and Theo kicked a rock at the bottom of the steps clear across the street, grunting in annoyance.

"You and I have very different definitions of charming, Hawke," Fenris said dryly as he stood quietly behind him. Theo laughed humourlessly as he shook his head.

"He's always fucking drunk, always looking for a fight, and I'm not much better." He sighed. "I got into a fight with Carver the other day – a proper one, laid right into him in front of mother and Bethany," he said shaking his head remorsefully. "That's what my uncle was getting at. I anger too easily, resort to violence too much. You called me a good man but those… those are not a _good man's_ qualities."

"Perhaps." Fenris shrugged. "You did not have to help me, however. Nor do you have to help this Lirene, yet you are."

"It's not all entirely selfless, you know," he said a little snappily. "Everything I do, I do for my family." He paced agitatedly. "Killing those hunters with you – although the right thing to do – also makes the streets a little safer around here; they might have been here for you but who's to say they wouldn't take a few extra _gifts_ back to their master? And helping Lirene gets me a discount at her store. It also means I know more of the locals, people who might just remember us helping them out should we ever find ourselves in trouble. And you're that too – a sword I can rely on, maybe in time you'll be more but…"

Theo sighed heavily, hanging his head, flashes of the things he had done to keep his family safe flicking through his mind. "I am _not_ a good man," he muttered darkly. Fenris watched him silently, his expression unreadable and cast in shadow. "I'm just trying to protect my family. That's it. There is _nothing_ I won't do for them."

Theo stared down at the basket of food in his hand and cleared his throat. "We should get to Lirene's," he said, already stalking off, not wanting to hear what the elf had to say – _if_ he even had anything to say.

* * *

 

Theo was unable to shake his sour mood and there was no point trying to hide it either because he never could keep emotions from his face. Instead he returned home sullenly, noting the story Varric was telling to his mother, siblings and a rather subdued looking Gamlen before he grabbed a blanket from his room and then sat down quietly in the corner. Fenris joined him, sitting on the ground next to him not saying a word. From their brief encounter with Guardsman Donnic – the guard they had rescued with Aveline – Varric had gotten it into his head that both guards fancied the pants off of one another and had apparently spun some ludicrous tale about the two of them.

Theo was barely listening to the tales Varric told, too lost in his thoughts to pay much attention, so he wasn't sure how long he sat on the ground wallowing in his own self-hatred.

He hated that he lost his temper so much and that he got violent when he did, he hated that he couldn't just relax, ever, because if he let his guard down for one second Bethany could get snatched up by the Templars or Carver could get killed in a fight or his mother could get kidnapped. This was not a safe city to live in, and he was the man of the house; he'd been forced into that role at eighteen.

He hated the things he had done in order to keep his family safe; he hated that they didn't even _know_ because he had protected them from the truth as well. Most of all he hated that he was telling Fenris things so freely; he hadn't been this open and honest with someone outside of his family since Tanner. And he couldn't, he just _couldn't_ do that again. It hurt too much. But as he watched Fenris listening to Varric's tale, those beautiful green eyes of his lit with both disbelief and slightly veiled amusement, Theo realised he wasn't going to be able to stop himself either.

He shook his head and got up, deciding that checking the food was a better use of his time than ogling the pretty elf. Bethany joined him.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder as she hugged him. He sighed and squeezed her hands. "What's troubling you?" she asked quietly.

"Everything," he said frankly with a self-deprecating sigh.

She kissed his shoulder and he could feel her smile against his skin. "If it's to do with Gamlen… we put him in his place once you left." He turned to face her giving her a quizzical look and her smile turned impish. "Mother told him to stop being so bitter, that if he was actually around and sober more that we might enjoy his company; as it was she didn't even want to look at him for making a such a scene in front of guests. I hadn't seen mother look so furious with him before and Gamlen sobered right up."

"Serves him right," Theo said with a small smile.

She looked at him sadly, cupping both of his cheeks. "But that's not why you're down."

He looked down at the ground, frowning. "No, but it doesn't matter, Beth," he said softly.

"Of course it does."

He turned his head away from her, not wanting her to see the emotions flashing across his face. "We should serve up, I reckon it's done by now," he said as he pulled away from her.

"Theo…"

"Not now. Please," he said feebly, unable to look at her. She sighed and nodded.

"It smells delicious," she said with a smile as he pulled the meat and vegetables out of the oven. "I'll make some gravy."

Fenris had reluctantly joined the others at the table, taking a seat next to Varric and Carver in Bethany's vacated seat. He would have preferred to remain on the floor out of the way, but Hawke's mother had insisted he join them at the table.

He was still mulling over all Hawke had said, and the hatred Fenris had seen in Hawke's eyes afterwards, the self-loathing. Fenris was intimately familiar with that feeling. It was like a sickness that you couldn't shrug off, always just twisting and curling its way through you. So far Fenris had yet to find a cure for it. He had considered that starting a new life would help, that perhaps if he had something more than just mere survival driving him that such hatred would be abridged…but Hawke had that, he had his family to protect, and yet he still suffered from that same such feeling.

Fenris knew what had caused him to feel such hatred—Danarius had planted it in him and it had only grown since—but he had to wonder, what had planted it in Hawke?

"What about you, Fenris?" Leandra suddenly asked and Fenris' snapped his eyes up to her, his mouth open in surprise. She smiled softly. "Care to tell me more about yourself?"

He shifted in his seat, feeling distinctly uncomfortable with her eyes boring into him, and without Hawke to distract his mother, he was rather stuck under that scrutinising gaze. He swallowed nodding politely. "I only recently came to Kirkwall," he explained. "I was a slave in Tevinter."

Hawke's mother gasped slightly, her eyes getting distinctly tearful at the very thought. "I cannot begin to imagine how horrible such a thing must have been. I am glad you found freedom, Fenris," she said earnestly.

"As am I."

"Where are you staying then? Not at The Hanged Man as well?" she asked, giving the dwarf an amused and slightly exasperated smile. Varric just shrugged, grinning.

"No, I have taken up residence in my former master's Hightown mansion," he said with wry smile.

"That's one way to give him the finger," Gamlen laughed.

"It certainly is," Leandra said, smiling.

"Dinner is served!" Hawke announced as he entered the dining room carrying six plates very dexterously across his arms, followed by Bethany only carrying one and a boat of gravy.

"Bloody show off," Carver scoffed.

"You know, Fenris, my family used to own an estate in Hightown," Leandra continued. "We're hoping to get it back with the expedition's earnings. I suppose we would be neighbours if that happens."

Theo groaned as he handed out the plates, doing his best to tune out the conversation around him as his family began to discuss how exciting it would be to live in Hightown in a fancy estate; all the while Theo's gut twisted with guilt at seeing them all look so happy and hopeful, when all Theo could think was that he didn't want that life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The broody babies are starting to friend it up... like a tiny bit. Fen's definitely loosening up some. But yeah. They're still a total pain in the butt to write. And I could keep editing them for like hours and hours (I do and I have) but I need to just post it and get over it. 
> 
> Aveline is in the next few chapters because I know soooome people wanted to see more of her ;) 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Love you all <3 
> 
> ~ Chant


	9. Skeletons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fun one, until it's not. XD. 
> 
> Thanks for the comments lovelies <33 
> 
> And thanks as always to my beta, ElyssaCousland. 
> 
> And if anyone was interested to know, I've started editing the first fic in this series: A Harrowing Ordeal. It's slow going. But I am slowly editing the shit out of it ;p 
> 
> ~Chant.

Theo had awoken early and slipped into loose trousers and a thin shirt before heading out the door for an early morning run along the docks. It was one of his usual routes and always helped to wake him up for the day ahead. It helped too, that it was a little colder with a cool sea breeze this morning instead of the insufferably humid mornings they had all been waking up to recently. He wasn't sure if that meant that autumn might finally be approaching, but he hoped so.

Dinner had been… good, actually. He might have started the evening feeling rather gloomy but, as the night went on, that mood had lifted and he had found himself genuinely enjoying himself. Varric's stories had evolved into a game of cards, which Varric had graciously taught to both Fenris and mother first. Much to the dwarf's shock and amusement, their mother had wiped the floor with him – she knew how to play all along and had been bluffing. Varric had bowed to her upon realising and had vowed to come by again soon to have a proper match where he wasn't 'going easy' on them. Fenris had done well too, beating Carver, Bethany and Gamlen. And the entertaining night had ended with Theo walking Varric back to The Hanged Man and then Fenris to Hightown. Theo and Fenris had only spoken a little on the way home but it had been good to see the elf loosen up just a bit. He smiled as he recalled his conversation with Fenris on their way.

" _Thank you for tonight, Hawke," Fenris said as they reached the empty Hightown market._

" _It was good, wasn't it?" Theo said, grinning. "It'll be your turn to host next," he teased. Fenris blinked at him and Theo laughed. "I'm only joking – although you've certainly got enough space at that mansion of yours."_

" _I'm sure your mother would appreciate the cadaver décor," he said dryly._

" _Good point. Still don't fancy sprucing it up at all then?"_

" _Not particularly."_

_They walked up to Hightown's main courtyard in silence with just the gentle breeze for company._

" _There," Theo said, pointing. "_ That _is the Amell estate." Fenris stared up at it, his expression unreadable. "Almost looks as bad as yours, but that's slavers for you, I guess."_

" _Your family seemed excited by the prospect of moving there," Fenris said, giving him a significant look._

 _Theo noticed the unspoken question tagged onto the end of that statement and he sighed. "I just can't picture myself living here. City life… isn't really for me, and being a noble_ definitely _isn't."_

" _Could you not move elsewhere?"_

" _They want the mansion," Theo said as he turned away from it. "Anyway, I should be getting back. I'm sure you can manage the rest of the way on your own," he smirked._

" _I was capable of the entire journey alone, Hawke."_

" _Right, it was me who insisted on walking you back, and I don't even get a kiss at your door for my troubles," he sighed dramatically. Fenris chuckled and coughed awkwardly. "I…" Theo rubbed the back of his neck, kicking a pebble on the ground at his feet. "I hope my flirting doesn't… You'd say something, wouldn't you, if it made you uncomfortable or if you wanted me to stop? I'd understand. And I don't mean anything by it… I'm just a flirt, like this with everyone really. The last thing I want to do is make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, Fenris."_

" _It… is fine," Fenris replied. "I admire that you speak your mind."_

" _Run my mouth off, more like," he snorted derisively._

Theo finished his lap and returned home to his mother and siblings sitting around the table, only just tucking into breakfast. He smiled at them in greeting before slipping into the washroom – Bethany had already run him a bath and he shouted out a thank you to her before shirking out of his clothes and slipping in. His bath was quick and he was soon dressed in his armour and back out in the dining room, drying his hair with a towel. He joined his family at the table, filling his plate and mug before tucking in.

"That was a lovely evening, Theo. Thank you," his mother said with a bright smile, one that was quite rare to see these days. His chest warmed at the sight.

"It was, wasn't it?"

"Varric is very charming," his mother went on to say. "I can see why you'd want to partner with him. And he has such wonderful stories."

"He's writing a story about us, mother," Bethany said gleefully. "He showed me some snippets while we were out camping."

"How come he showed you and not me?" Carver whined.

"Because I asked nicely," Bethany said, smirking at her brother.

"And Fenris seems nice," his mother said, giving Theo a significant look. "You two seemed to get on quite well, dear," she said with a knowing smile.

"Ugh, not you too!" he cried out in exasperation. Why did everyone think Fenris and he were… were a _thing_?

Leandra watched as her boy tensed slightly. He hadn't fallen for anyone or allowed himself to fall for anyone for four years, ever since that horrible day where her son had lost two of the most important people in his life. She only wanted him to be happy, and she knew that he didn't have to have a partner in order to accomplish that, but she had seen the way he looked at Fenris, had seen him staring, watching the elf and smiling; she hadn't seen him smile like that at anyone for too long and it broke her heart that he wouldn't let anyone close to his heart again.

"Mother…" he warned as he noticed the look she was giving him.

"Oh but it's been so long darling!"

"I _can't_ ," he said, his voice cracking. He gripped his mug tightly, staring down at the steaming liquid within. They didn't understand. They didn't _know_. He couldn't, he couldn't do it again.

"You can't close off your heart forever, brother," Bethany said, her doleful eyes staring at him.

"I can try," he muttered. He got up from the table abruptly. "I'm going to the market."

"Oh Theodore…" his mother called, but he was already at the door.

* * *

 

Fenris had woken early as he often did; he was not used to the bed or his surroundings, having only spent the one night here since claiming the mansion as his. He had checked the house and grounds, finding no disturbances, and then trained with his sword, bathed and dressed. It felt good to have a routine again. On the run he had often lacked the luxury of baths, or time to train - not that he needed to when he was killing hunters so frequently. He had checked the mansion's stores and cupboards too, finding no food, and he had once again been grateful to Hawke for inviting him to dinner the previous night.

It had been the most enjoyable evening that Fenris could remember having since his time with the Fog Warriors. The dwarf's stories had been amusing, growing more and more preposterous as the night went on; the card game had been most entertaining, with Hawke's mother scooping up all of the winnings. The food had been extraordinary; he couldn't remember ever having felt so full before. And the company had been… he wasn't certain he had a word to adequately describe it, but he hoped he would always be able to treasure such an evening.

The ritual and losing his memories had instilled a kind of fear in him, a fear that such a thing would occur again should Danarius reclaim the lyrium in his veins, or worse, should Danarius repeat the ritual, wiping his memories in order to make Fenris a compliant slave once more. He couldn't bear the thought of that, of forgetting what freedom was like, of not even considering fighting or running because slaves never did – that was their life and they never considered anything else a possibility. He did not want to forget _this_ life, the life he had carved out for himself, the life he was fighting to get back. He would die before he let Danarius do that to him again.

He had headed out to get food from the Lowtown markets, unsure what he should spend his limited coin on. In the end, he had picked up some dried meat and cheeses. It was as he reached Hightown that he heard a familiar laugh. Fenris quickly found its owner. Hawke was speaking with a bearded dwarf; despite the apparent good humour, however, Fenris could see that the man's shoulders were tensed, set hard, and he suspected that should Hawke turn to face him that his eyes would be full of some emotion other than mirth. There was something wrong, yet again, not that such a thing should have surprised Fenris; Hawke had already shown how mercurial he was in the few short days they had known one another. The only constant thing about Hawke seemed to be his drive to protect his family.

Hawke said his goodbye to the dwarf and, as he turned, his grin dropped away into a thin line. That expression quickly changed, however, when Hawke caught sight of Fenris standing not so far away, staring at him with his burlap sack. Hawke grinned – truly grinned, and he walked over to him.

"Fenris! Fancy seeing you here. Been shopping?"

Fenris dipped his head to the rogue, glancing down at the food items in his hands. "Just some cheeses and meats to go with the fruit and bread your mother gave me."

Hawke blushed slightly, smiling. "She really filled that sack up, didn't she?" He shook his head with affectionate despair. "She probably thinks you're too skinny," he said. "Not that I can blame her for thinking that, your armour is rather… well fitting."

Fenris shrugged a shoulder at the rogue, a brief smirk at his lips. "At least it covers me up."

Hawke laughed, "Shit, was that a dig at my armoured leather _thing_?"

"You are rather scantily dressed, Hawke."

"Been looking, have you?"

"It's hard not to."

Fenris watched in amusement as Hawke's high cheekbones turned a deep red as he cleared his throat quite loudly. "Flatterer," he said, with a shy smile as he ruffled his messy hair. And Fenris smirked. It felt good to have Hawke blush for once instead of him; it seemed the rogue wasn't used to having his flirtations countered. "Oh! I have money for you," Hawke said, quickly changing the subject as he rummaged through his coin purse.

A frown formed on Fenris' face as he watched the rogue. "For me?"

"Yes, for your help at the Bone Pit – you killed that dragon."

"I do not require payme-"

"Oh stop being so difficult," Hawke said as he shoved a purse of coin against Fenris' chest plate. He was forced to grab it lest it spill to the ground. "I own half the mine now, so just accept it, okay?"

"You-" Fenris blinked. "Half the mine?"

Hawke grinned boyishly. "That Hubert fellow is a right turd, so I'm going to make sure our workers are properly looked after. Most of them are Fereldan you know. _And_ I got paid up front," he said as he jingled a large coin purse on his belt with a smug smirk. "Not bad for our first proper job really, seeing as Anso's turned out to be nothing but trouble," he teased.

Fenris shifted on his feet, smiling ever so slightly. "I might need to have words with that dwarf," he admitted seriously. "The mercenaries he hired weren't very good."

"Oh really?" Hawke asked, his eyes narrowing playfully.

"Mm. They ended up paying me, instead of me them."

Hawke chortled. "How terrible," he snarked. "Anyway, I have another job to do – some nobleman's wife has gone missing. Pay's good, not sure I would have helped otherwise – he cared more about people's opinion of him than his wife's safety. Absolute bastard," Hawke muttered with a shake of his head.

"I doubt your mother would approve of such language, Hawke."

Hawke snorted derisively, some of that tension returning to his shoulders. "No, especially not in regards to a future neighbour." He sighed. "Anyway, I should get going."

"You are to do the job now? I will accompany you, if you like."

The colour flooded back to Hawke's cheeks. "I need to go to The Blooming Rose," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"The Blooming Rose?" Fenris asked with a tilt of his head.

Hawke closed his eyes groaning, his cheeks growing even redder. "It's a… brothel," he said hoarsely.

"Oh. OH," Fenris said as his eyes widened in realisation. "My apologies. I shall let you… take care of your business."

Hawke's gloved hands waved wildly as he shook his head. "It's not like that!" he exclaimed in nervous alarm, "for once, at least," he added, muttering ruefully. "I have to talk to one of the personnel there about the missing wife." He sighed roughly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Honestly, you might prove useful. If I can't charm an answer out of them, your lyrium-fisting thing could be useful."

Fenris let out a staccato snort. "Is that what you've decided to call it?"

Hawke smiled impishly. "I thought about calling it glow-punching but I think lyrium-fisting has a better ring to it."

"You've clearly thought a great deal about it," Fenris said with a quirk of his brow.

Hawke guffawed, shaking his head with a smile. "It's hard not to," he said with a wink that made Fenris stifle a chuckle. "To the Rose, then?" Hawke asked, still smiling brightly, his red-amber eyes catching in the sun, glistening brightly. Fenris nodded and Hawke led the way through the crowds in the market, both of them ignoring the odd looks the nobles were giving them.

"Look," Hawke said as they turned around a corner, "I want to apologise ahead of time just in case some of the staff say hello to me – I have one of those faces, you know? Everyone is just _constantly_ greeting me, it's exhausting!" Hawke was trying for levity, but there was something in his eyes: anxiousness tinged with guilt. It was only there for a second but it still made Fenris curious as to why Hawke would feel those things; did he care what Fenris thought? Did he think he would judge him? Why the guilt?

Fenris kept his face impassive and quirked an unconvinced brow at the rogue.

Hawke scoffed. "Didn't believe a word of that, did you?"

"Not a word."

Hawke shook his head, sighing as he pushed the _establishment's_ door open. Three sets of very hungry eyes immediately turned to stare at Hawke. Each of the women grinned at him as their eyes raked up him.

" _Hawke_ ," an elven woman purred as she stalked forward to run her hands up the rogue's arm. "Here to see me again, are we?" Hawke cleared his throat, that blush back on his cheeks and neck as he gently removed the girl's hand from his arm.

"Not today," Hawke said softly with a tight smile. The elven woman pouted but quickly left him alone. That didn't stop others approaching, however, some going as far as to grab at Hawke and run their hands through his hair even as the rogue tried to extract himself from their grasps with apologetic words and forced smiles. Fenris felt eyes watching him too as they made their way through the room, wisely, none tried to touch him.

Hawke straightened his armour and smoothed down his hair once they reached the door at the top of the stairs, the rogue suddenly finding his boots a rather interesting sight under Fenris' scrutinising gaze. Hawke cleared his throat and pushed the door open. Fenris didn't question how the rogue knew this was the right room - he could guess.

An elf turned to greet them as they entered. He immediately smirked as he raked his bright blue eyes up both of their bodies. "Today's my rest day, but I'll make an exception for you two," he drawled. "What can I say? Why work if you're not working _hard?_ " he purred with a thrust of his hips. Hawke nearly choked on his laughter and Fenris coughed, ducking his head as he tried to hide his own surprise.

"That's a pretty good outlook for a whore to have," Hawke retorted, smirking.

"Don't I know it," the elf said with a seductive smile. "Clothes off then – not that you're wearing much," the elf said, his eyes lingering on Hawke's bare thighs. Hawke groaned in response and Fenris smiled. The whore's gaze turned to Fenris instead, his smirk growing. "Although… peeling you out of that armour sounds like a treat."

Fenris quirked a brow at the elf, his cheeks flushing slightly. He really was not used to staying in one place long enough to be flirted with quite so frequently and by so many people.

"Jethann?" Hawke squeaked before clearing his throat and trying again. "Jethann, there won't be any," Hawke glanced at Fenris, swallowing hard, "peeling off of armour, I'm afraid. We're here about a lady named Ninette. Have you seen her recently?"

"Ninette?" The elf frowned slightly, shaking his head. "Not for several weeks. Which is a shame, I enjoy her company. I hear she finally left that worthless husband. Good for her," he said earnestly. "I just wish she'd said goodbye."

The elf knew very little and Hawke soon ended the interrogation, much to the prostitute's disappointment. "Come back soon," he called as they walked out of the door, quickly shutting it behind them.

"Maker," Hawke muttered, looking a little calmer for having had the investigation to focus on but still somewhat flustered. "That was…"

"An experience," Fenris supplied.

"Yeah," Hawke laughed. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Fenris matched Hawke's brisk pace down the steps and nearly walked into the rogue when Hawke stopped dead, his gaze locked on something. Fenris followed it, catching sight of Hawke's 'charming' uncle at the bar.

"Shit."

Hawke's uncle noticed them, mostly due to the fact that the girl he was speaking with turned to look at Hawke as they made their way down the stairs. The uncle's expression changed from surprise, to a glare and then to a haughty sneer. Hawke had tensed taut as a bow but walked down the steps with his head held high.

"I guess we both know what we spend our days doing now," his uncle called out with a mocking laugh. Hawke sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping; where Fenris expected anger, he only saw defeat. Hawke kept on walking.

Once outside, Hawke slumped against the wall, hanging his head. Fenris watched, still holding his burlap sack in one hand as he shifted from foot to foot, trying to gauge the rogue's thoughts, but, for once, he was unable to tell.

"That was the last thing I needed," Hawke finally muttered, still staring at the ground, hiding his eyes from view beneath his thick dark hair. "At least he can't tell mother, though, not without revealing that he was there too." His eyes flicked up to Fenris'. They were dark, hard and full of the self-loathing Fenris had glimpsed the night before, a rueful smile accompanied it. "He's not wrong though – I do spend too much time in there. I just…"

"Hawke," Fenris interrupted, seeing the anguish flash across Hawke's face, "you do not need to explain yourself to me."

"I know. I want to though," he said with a slightly confused frown, like he wasn't certain why that was. "It's usually when I'm drunk that I end up there. It…helps keep my temper under control," he said as he hung his head in shame. Fenris watched, frowning and uncertain what to think of that.

Hawke shoved his hands through his hair and pushed off from the wall. "Anyway, we've got two leads now, I guess. There's the Templar who also showed an interest in Ninette or the husband who gave me this damned job in the first place. He rubbed me the wrong way and I'm not sure if I trust him. And seeing as he lives in Hightown and we're _in_ Hightown… Well, we might as well go investigate his mansion, right?"

"You want to investigate his mansion in the middle of the day?" Fenris asked, incredulity lacing his tone.

"I'm hardly going to break down the front door, Fenris," Hawke scoffed. "I know a sewer entrance we can use that'll get us around the back of the estate. You might want to drop off your food first though, assuming you still want to join me at all, that is."

"You're certain this is wise?"

"No. But at least I know the new Guard Captain if we really cock up," he said with a mischievous smirk.

"The sewer entrance – is this another one of your marked up escape routes?" Fenris asked as they headed to his mansion.

"You noticed that on the roofs, did you?" Hawke asked with a slightly surprised but impressed glint in his eyes. Fenris shrugged in response and Hawke smiled. "Partly," he answered, "I also ended up in the sewers quite a lot for the Red Irons. Apparently people who owe other people money think hiding in the sewers will save them from having to pay it back. That usually doesn't work out so well for them."

Fenris unlocked the door to his mansion and dumped the burlap sack down on the ground before shutting and locking the door again. When he glanced up at Hawke the rogue was smirking at him, his arms folded loosely as he leant back on his heels. Fenris cocked a brow in question.

"You're keen," he said archly.

Fenris straightened. "A woman's life could be in grave peril," he explained with faux concern.

"Then we must make haste at once!" Hawke said melodramatically.

* * *

 

"I definitely don't miss the smell," Theo muttered as he breathed shallowly through his mouth with his father's scarf wrapped tight around the lower half of his face. "I guess it'll help mask the stench of lavender still clinging to me though."

"I seem to recall you saying you'd rather smell of shit," Fenris commented wryly from his side. That damned smirk was at his lips again, the very brief quirk that made Theo's stomach tighten.

"Words I may be regretting now," Theo replied with a crinkle of his nose.

Theo led the way out of the sewers, up into the back of Hightown. They'd come out more or less outside of the estate they needed, right next to the impressive garden. They jumped the fence and crept across the grounds before reaching the patio doors. Theo picked them easily and they slipped inside. All was quiet in the mansion, not even the sounds of servants to be heard.

"What are we looking for?" Fenris asked as he stayed low, listening out.

"So, there are three possibilities: she left him, in which case all of her things will be gone; he killed her, in which case we should look for signs of a struggle; or lastly, she was kidnapped and is in trouble."

"We should check the bedroom first then."

"Agreed."

The master bedroom, unfortunately, was filled with woman's clothes and jewellery, expensive jewellery that both Hawke and Fenris concluded would not have been left behind by a woman leaving her husband.

"Damn, I was hoping she left the prick," Hawke muttered. Fenris opened his mouth to comment about his language again but Hawke lifted his hand, eyes narrowing slightly. "Prick isn't a swear."

Fenris smirked. "I doubt your mother would approve either way."

"Are you keeping a tally of all my swears by chance, Fenris? Going to report back to my mother for the reward of cookies or something?" Hawke asked with a teasing smile.

Fenris let out a short snort, shaking his head.

Hawke's expression faded away, replaced by something grimmer. "We should check the rest of the house for signs of a struggle."

Fenris nodded.

"These are white lilies," Hawke pointed out as he pulled some loose dead flowers out of the trash. "The husband mentioned she might have another suitor – he just assumed it was Jethann, but we know it isn't."

"So we are to investigate the Templar in Darktown after all?"

"Seems like it," Hawke sighed. "You sure you want to join me?"

"I am. I would like to see this mystery solved." Fenris shifted on his feet, tilting his head slightly. "Unless you do not wish the company?"

"Not at all," Hawke said, his expression shifting into a smirk. "Darktown's very romantic this time of year I hear."

"You are incorrigible, Hawke."

"I've heard that a lot lately."

They had just reached the bottom of the stairs when they heard the click of the front door unlocking. " _Shit,_ " Theo hissed, "Fenris _hide–"_ he said as he grabbed the elf and dragged him toward a doorway under the stairs; that noble – what was his name? Guisiane de Carcass? Bah, it didn't matter – was home. He shoved Fenris through the door and then shut it behind them. Theo immediately got a mouthful of feathered coat and he spat it out as he batted the ridiculous thing away. Fenris was all elbows and spiked armour next to him as he fought off a glittering jacket that was threatening to swallow him up.

Theo could hear the noble approaching and he cursed under his breath. What were the chances the noble needed to put a coat away in this closet? He didn't want to chance it. " _Come on_ ," he whispered as he lifted up a few coats.

Fenris stared at him incredulously and Theo sighed, shaking his head as he crawled under all of the coats first, right to the back of the small closet. Fenris reluctantly followed and Theo did his best to cover them up.

The closet door swung open and Theo wrapped his hands around Fenris' waist and dragged him back further until the elf was sitting in his lap. Fenris went taut as a bowstring in his embrace but Theo didn't let go of him, too afraid to move in case the noble heard them. He could only make out the noble's feet as he looked over Fenris' shoulder; the man appeared to shuck off his coat, apparently deciding to take his sweet ass time about it too.

Being this close to Fenris – embracing him – it was impossible not to notice the slightly spicy and woodsy aroma that clung to the elf, his soft hair against Theo's face, or the heat of his body against Theo's bared legs. And naturally because of that, he couldn't help but think how hot it would be to fuck like this with Fenris' head lolled back over his shoulder as Theo drove slowly into him. His arms around Fenris' waist tightened as his cock twitched and he grimaced, hoping Fenris hadn't felt that. _Oh Maker_ , _he probably did_ , he thought despairingly.

Fenris swallowed as Hawke's breath hitched against his pointed ear just as the rogue's manhood twitched against his backside. He was grateful that the closet was so dark, otherwise the rogue would have seen Fenris' ears blush pink. He wanted to escape, to get out of Hawke's tight hold around him, from this absurd embrace they were stuck in, but the noble was busy looking through some of his coats, as if deciding which he should wear next. Fenris wanted to tackle the fool, knock him out and be done with it, but Hawke wasn't letting go of him any time soon. How had he even ended up in this situation? Each day in Kirkwall was more preposterous than the last.

Hawke suddenly started twitching behind him – all of him as opposed to the one organ – and Fenris chanced a glance over his shoulder at the human, their faces mere inches apart. Hawke's nose was twitching and Fenris' eyes widened in realisation. On instinct, he clamped his gauntlet over Hawke's nose, pinching it closed, and slammed the other down over his mouth so he couldn't yelp out in pain. Hawke's eyes went wide, frenzied as his body continued to jerk, needing to sneeze, but Fenris didn't let go.

Hawke's face grew redder and redder, his hands now grabbing at Fenris' gauntlets trying to get him to let go as Fenris alternated between watching the struggling rogue and the noble who was taking an exceedingly long time to deal with the coats. _Fasta vaas_. If he did not let go soon Hawke would pass out, then he'd have no choice but to carry him out of here.

Finally, the noble stepped back out of the closet and closed the door, leaving them in the dark. Fenris removed his hands from the rogue's face as the noble walked away, and Hawke sucked in a huge lungful of air, his hands going to his chest as he gasped.

Hawke slumped back against the wall, his breathing still hard. And then he suddenly sneezed. Loudly. They both went utterly still and stared at the door, expecting it to fly open. It never did and they sighed in relief with Hawke letting out a nervous chuff of laughter.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

"The best idea you've had all day, Hawke."

* * *

 

Theo had still been rather flustered as they left the mansion. He could still feel the warmth of Fenris' body against his, could still feel the cold bite of his gauntlets against his face. Despite nearly suffocating, all he could think about was how hot it had been to have Fenris in his lap like that and how incredible it had felt to have those lyrium branded fingers touch his skin for the first time. He was going to have an even harder time keeping erotic images out of his head now.

They picked up Fenris' sword from his mansion, seeing as he hadn't needed it to go shopping that morning, then they'd gone to Lowtown and picked up Varric in case they ran into trouble in Darktown – which was very likely. Theo had popped home to let mother know their plans and to stash his weighty coin purse. He'd eaten a quick bite to eat and made sure Fenris got something too. Bethany had wanted to come but he had told her no, seeing as they were tracking a _Templar_. Carver had apparently gone to the Keep in hopes of speaking with Aveline, hoping to sign up with the guard. So that left just Varric, Theo and Fenris to hunt Darktown for this Templar. It actually hadn't taken long to find him – they just followed the sounds of fighting.

Theo hadn't liked what the Templar, Emeric, had told them, however; other women were missing too, not just Ninette and Theo couldn't help but be a little on edge after that, worrying about his own family. And he had rushed them into Lowtown to explore a foundry that the Templar had suggested checking out. That's when they'd spotted Aveline.

"Hawke? What are you doing here?" she asked as she noticed them approaching.

"Could ask you the same thing, Aveline," Theo said, smirking a bit.

"I asked _you_ first."

He sighed slightly. "We're investigating some murders. Need to check out that foundry there."

Her expression settled into a frown. "That's not good. I'm investigating it too." She glanced up at the run down looking building, her frown deepening. "Jevan had this building erased from all records at the Keep. I know Lowtown like the back of my hand, knew the buildings on record didn't quite add up… He tried very hard to make this building _not_ exist. I want to know why."

That did not put Theo at ease. Jevan had been one corrupt son of a bitch. It wouldn't surprise Theo at all if he'd been paid off by some crazed murderer to keep this place off-record. "Well then… let's head in." Aveline nodded at him and Theo led the way forward.

Fenris followed Hawke cautiously into the foundry. It was dark and dreary inside, with much of the building in poor condition; he would have assumed it abandoned if not for the sudden ache of his markings. "Hawke, there is a mage here."

The rogue looked over his shoulder, frowning, "How do you _–_ "

"Up there!" Varric exclaimed as he pointed at the upper floor.

Sure enough, there was a lone figure standing there, casting. The mage dashed away before Varric could get a bolt in him and Hawke charged forward, across the room and toward the steps to give chase. But Fenris could feel the spell crawling across his skin.

"Hawke, wait!" he called out, in vain, a split second before Hawke triggered the trap.

Several shades and demons suddenly appeared, swarming the rogue. One managed to swipe at Hawke, catching him across the chest and arm as he tried to roll away.

"Hawke!" Aveline bellowed as she charged in to aid the staggered rogue.

Fenris rushed in too, but they were both to slow to stop the desire demon casting its spell. Hawke screamed, making the hair at the back of Fenris' neck stand on end as a shiver shot down his spine. It was such a horrendous sound. The rogue's legs buckled and he crumpled to the ground, clutching his head. Aveline rushed to his side, her face twisted with worry and Fenris brought his sword down on the demon, cutting it in half and sending it back to the Fade in an explosion of purple cinders.

Between him and Varric, the shades and demons were soon dead.

Fenris kept his sword out just in case and glanced worriedly at Hawke who was now on his back, trembling as Aveline tried to soothe him, her hand stroking his hair. He had his eyes screwed shut as he muttered under his breath and Fenris swallowed thickly.

"What's wrong with him?" Varric asked in a panic.

Fenris dropped to his knees at Hawke's other side, meeting Aveline's concerned gaze as he did so. "A horror spell," he explained. "It will pass, but they are…unpleasant."

"Yeah, no shit, Broody," Varric said as he put his crossbow back on his back. "What do we do?"

"Just… comfort him. I am going to check the rest of this foundry," Fenris said as he got to his feet, glancing down at the still trembling rogue briefly before heading for the stairs.

"You're going to be alright, Hawke," Aveline whispered. "We're here." Hawke gave a tight nod of his head, his body still tense and shaking. He reached out for Aveline's hand and she took it, squeezing it firmly.

Varric patted Hawke's shoulder, feeling entirely awkward; comfort wasn't really his thing. Humour, on the other hand… "Hey," he said softly. "It's not like you to lie down on the job."

Hawke let out a chuff of laugher, albeit a very weary and anxious sounding chuff but still a chuff. The human opened his eyes as he took a few steadying breaths; those usually bright carnelian eyes of his were cloudy and dark thanks to the lingering spell. He sat up carefully, wincing slightly at the deep gash across his chest. Varric had expected him to make some kind of comment, something to lighten the situation, but Hawke remained silent, looking almost as broody as Broody usually did.

"Drink this," Aveline said as she handed Hawke a potion. The rogue drank it wordlessly. "I don't think you need healing, these cuts don't look too deep, but it might be worth having Bethany take a look, all the same." Hawke gave her a numb nod and she sighed slightly. She hated seeing Hawke like this, hurting, knowing there wasn't much she could do to help.

"There is no one else here," Fenris informed them as he walked back over to them, his face grim. "I did find this, though."

He tossed Hawke the pouch and the rogue took a tentative look inside. He hissed in a breath upon seeing the bones; his face crumpled in anguish and anger as his hand lifted to clutch at his father's scarf as it always seemed to whenever he thought of his family. Hawke hung his head and took a few deep breaths as that grip on his scarf tightened. He passed Aveline the pouch so that she could see what was inside.

"Maker," the guard said in a rush, her face paling. She handed it quickly to Varric, a scowl settling on her face.

The dwarf's expression turned just as grave as he stared into the pouch. "Are those…"

"Human bones," Fenris confirmed.

"We were too slow to save them," Hawke muttered, his voice hoarse and tense.

"Hey now, we didn't even _know_ they were in danger until this afternoon," Varric protested.

"We were still too slow. _I_ was too slow. I'm always too slow," he mumbled as he ran his hands through his hair, fisting the strands tightly. His body was still trembling, the lingering effects of the spell clearly apparent.

"Hawke, this isn't your fault," Aveline said firmly, her expression twisting with worry once more. "It's the guard's job to protect the citizens of Kirkwall, not yours."

"What if it happens again?" Hawke asked, voice cracking.

"I won't let that happen," she assured him, her green eyes hardening.

"You can't guarantee that," he hissed, his eyes flicking rapidly across her face.

"Hawke," Fenris tried as he reached out to calm the rogue, but Hawke jerked away from his touch and pushed hastily to his feet, still muttering to himself about being too slow.

"Hawke, calm down," Varric pleaded, looking distinctly worried.

"Don't tell me to calm down," Hawke spat, his eyes hard and haunted. "There's a killer on the loose who's going around murdering women and chopping them into tiny pieces and we weren't _fast_ enough to stop them!" he said, his voice rising. "They're still out there, they could… they could _–_ "

"These women are not your mother or sister, Hawke," Fenris said evenly. "They are not _going_ to be your mother or sister."

"He's right," Aveline said, standing and back straightening. "I won't let anything happen to your family, Hawke, not while I still breathe."

"You don't know that," Hawke said desperately, hysterically. "I need to be faster," he said with quiet resolution. "I need to be faster."

He bolted for the door.

"Hawke!" Varric cried.

"Venhedis," Fenris cursed as he gave chase alongside Aveline.


	10. A Right Hot Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggle to keep up with Hawke's ever-shifting moods. Also, let it be known, he's an idiot.
> 
> Thank you for the comments, you guys seriously help soo much with motivation. So thank you and please keep them coming because I love hearing from you all <33 And thanks as always to my beta, Lys, you rock. 
> 
> ~Chant.

Theo had run until he could barely walk, his feet blistered and sore, his legs and lungs burning. But those images still haunted him. He'd ended up buying a bottle of brandy, hoping that would clear his mind, before he had staggered to the Docks and collapsed down against a wall. He'd been exhausted but too troubled by the images he had seen, of the memories he had relived thanks to that demon's spell, to sleep.

The sun was rising now, the hazy purple skies slowly dissolving into the orange of dawn. Gulls cried overhead, fighting over scraps of bread, screeching and cawing as they gave chase through the still air. Theo took another long pull of his drink, wincing as the burning liquid slipped down his throat before he placed it back down on the dusty stone ground next to his leg.

He hadn't been home all night, but he hadn't been to the Rose either. _Small victories_ , he thought bitterly. Although he doubted he would be back there for a while; going there with Fenris had been… an experience, as the elf had so astutely put it.

Theo had always hated that he paid for whores with the precious little money he had because he couldn't risk fucking people he knew. If he did, then he could, or _would_ , end up liking them. And he couldn't do that again.

He hated that he even needed sex in the first place to help lessen his temper because most normal people could control theirs without such extreme measures. He hated that people kept putting images in his head. Hated that they kept assuming Fenris and he were a couple when they _weren't_. When they _couldn't_ be.

And Fenris had seen all of that. Had seen how well the whores knew him, had probably seen the look in his eyes, and was probably judging him behind that impassive mask he always wore. More than anything, though, he hated how easily Fenris could read him.

Fenris had been right about the thoughts that had raced through his head in his panic at seeing the human bones in that little pouch. He had _seen_ his mother and sister all cut up, their dead eyes looking at him. And he hadn't been able to save them. He had been too slow _again_ because he was always too fucking slow. The demon had showed him that again too. _Father_ … His eyes crumpled closed and he took another pull of his drink.

That's when he heard someone cry out for help from down the dock, and the tell-tale clash of metal of a fight. He cursed his bleeding heart and carefully got to his feet, his legs even shakier than they had been with the added alcohol in his system. He walked, or rather swayed, down the dock, toward the commotion.

He reached the top of the steps, his head spinning slightly as he tried to take in the scene unfolding below. There were two groups of men fighting, all of them a blur of movement that made him feel nauseous. But even in this pitiful state he noticed the familiar armour of the Red Irons on a few of the men.

Theo groaned and unsheathed his daggers as he staggered down the steps. He clumsily buried his blade in the neck of one of the attackers and then yanked it back out. They collapsed to the ground with a spray of blood and then Theo was onto the next man, stabbing him just under his arm, right between the ribs, and twisting. It was as that second man fell, that the fancy pants attackers realised he had joined the fray and turned on him. A big brute of a man charged at him and Theo stepped drunkenly to the side, expecting to see the man charge full force into the wall at Theo's back; instead Theo got smacked full force in the face by that shield and was thrown backwards, hitting his head on the wall in the process.

His vision whited out as he tried to get back to his feet, everything spinning around him as sound faded into a horrible buzzing. The man with the shield came at him, sword held out in front of him, ready to finish Theo off. Then there was a flash of silver cutting downwards and the man was screaming as he clutched at the stump where his arm had been just moments before. Theo watched dazedly as the man's sword clattered to the ground, a twitching hand still holding the hilt. The man collapsed next with a bloodied hole in his chest. And then there was a flash of white rushing past Theo, charging into the battle too fast for him to keep track of.

He heard screaming but it was quickly replaced by silence and Theo blinked a few times, trying to clear his blurred vision. Suddenly there were strong hands gripping his upper arms, accompanied by the familiar bite of steel digging into his flesh and the heat of recently used lyrium. Green eyes peered down at him, framed by dark, worried-looking brows.

"Hawke," Fenris said.

" _Fenwiss_ ," Theo slurred with a lazy smile. Fenris' face softened, brows lifting just a little in relief, and Theo's stomach flipped at the sight of the gorgeous elf before him. He suddenly hurled all over Fenris' feet. The elf leapt back, cursing in a foreign tongue, but the worst had already been done. Brandy coloured vomit coated his feet and the ground.

"I am _sooo_ sorry," Theo murmured as he watched Fenris wipe his feet on one of the dead men, his lips twisted in disgust. He crouched down in front of him again a moment later, carefully avoiding the puddle of vomit on the ground.

"You are hurt," Fenris said as he lifted a gauntleted hand to Theo's jaw.

"S'nothing," he said as he pulled away from the surprisingly gentle touch.

"And what of the head, chest and arm injuries?" Fenris asked as that gauntleted hand checked the back of his head while those green eyes looked down at the deep gashes that had somewhat scabbed over from the fight with the shades.

"It's fine. I'm fine," Theo said stubbornly, swallowing around a lump in his throat as Fenris' moss green eyes bored into him. Fenris looked unconvinced but at least he didn't press the issue. Theo staggered to his feet with Fenris' help and leant back against the wall for support. "I just needed to clear m'head," Theo explained.

"And the alcohol helped with that, did it?" Fenris said with a sardonic arch of his brow.

"Well, no," Theo said with a frown. "But running didn't work so I needed somethin' else."

"It was foolish to run off at all," Fenris said harshly. "You were injured and still under the influence of the spell."

"I already told you, I'm _fine_."

"And if you weren't? Who would have looked after your family th–"

Theo's fist connected with Fenris' jaw, knocking the elf's head back as Theo threw his whole body into the blow and collapsed to his knees. Fenris' green eyes were ablaze with fury as he slowly turned his head to face him again; one of his gauntlets came up to wipe at his bloodied lip and he snarled.

"Don't you fucking dare bring them into this," Theo spat at him as he staggered back to his feet, images of his mother and Bethany flashing back through the fore of his mind. "There is nothing I wouldn't do to keep them safe!" he snarled.

"You running off _put_ them in danger," Fenris hissed. "Your brother was out most of the night looking for you with the rest of us!"

"He–" Theo frowned; he hadn't expected that at all. "You were all looking for me?" he asked a little sheepishly.

"Of course," Fenris said, anger still tinting his voice.

"Shit," Theo muttered, shaking his head.

The last thing he had wanted was to alarm his family; he'd just been in such a panic after that spell, the only thing he could focus on was the need to train, the need to push himself, to be faster. And going home… he just couldn't. They'd have asked questions and he just didn't want to think about it, any of it, at all. He wanted to forget what he had seen.

They both turned as new footsteps approached; the only surviving Red Iron it seemed, limping toward them with a bloody gash on his leg. "I don't mean to interrupt," he said, he looked directly at Theo, his eyes hopeful. "You're Hawke, aren't you? Only I saw you around a bit when you were with the Red Irons – did Meeran send you to help?"

Theo let out a short disgusted snort. "No, I don't work for that bastard anymore."

"I know, but I thought maybe with you turning up here and all… Look please, I need your help. We were to take out some lord, only he was more prepared than we thought. He killed most of my men… we thought we'd given him the slip but we were wrong."

"He's a noble; if you thought he'd be anything less than extremely well prepared then you were an idiot," Theo said with acerbic honesty.

"Please, you have to help me find the target and kill him. He's still out there!"

"Are you really surprised?" a new voice said. The posh accent and haughty tone gave him away as the noble immediately, even if the blue doublet laced with gold thread hadn't. "Anyone with an ounce of intelligence would have seen your attack coming," he said as he stroked his grey beard, his eyes flinty and unamused.

"That's him, that's Lord Harimann," the merc gasped as he stumbled backward.

"Well, you better go kill him then," Theo laughed mirthlessly.

The noble eyed Theo curiously. "You sound Fereldan."

"Good ear," Theo said as he grabbed hold of the wall to steady himself, his dizziness not quite gone yet.

The man gave him a tight lipped smile. "You should know, _I_ was the one who convinced the Viscount to send aid to Denerim. Many of my fellows resent that. They want to keep the money and spend it on Kirkwall instead. Will you kill me for this?"

"It was never my job to begin with and I certainly don't plan on helping the Red bloody Irons."

The noble smiled, nodding. He glanced at the cowering merc with smug distaste and then walked away.

"What do I tell Meeran now?" the merc asked nervously.

"That you have failed," Fenris offered with a snort.

They left the merc to his fate and climbed the steps to Lowtown in silence.

Fenris still felt his anger burning close to the surface from the reckless hit Hawke had thrown at him. The rogue walked at his side, lost to his thoughts. Fenris could see the guilt starting to eat away at him now that his mind was clearer, the way he chewed his lip and clutched at that scarf of his. But he _should_ feel such a thing. Fenris had seen how worried Aveline had been—she had enlisted several of her guard to help search for Hawke. Varric had done the same thing with his network of informants. And the rogue's family had all been out in search of him also, with them each listing off some of Hawke's favourite spots to go to. All night they had searched, with no luck. The others had returned home, with only Carver, Aveline, Donnic and himself remaining out to search. Carver and Aveline had taken to checking the Coast again while Donnic and Fenris had focused on Lowtown. Fenris had been impressed with Donnic's skill and his stubbornness in searching for Hawke—apparently he felt he owed the rogue that much as thanks for saving his life.

They had eventually split up further, with Donnic going to check Hightown once more and Fenris heading to the Docks. He too felt like he owed Hawke, but there was more than that there now as well. He didn't think it was friendship, not quite, but all the same, he had not wished to see Hawke killed. He wasn't entirely sure how Hawke had avoided stumbling into gangs in his panicked state, but he was thankful for it.

The rogue stopped walking once they neared his home and Fenris stopped with him, regarding him through his long hair. Hawke had his arms folded self-consciously across his chest, his right hand rubbing absentmindedly at that red scarf of his. His autumnal eyes flicked up to Fenris', his gaze falling to Fenris' split lip with a visible wince. The rogue's gloved hand came up, cautiously, and when Fenris flinched away, his fingers curled, then dropped back to his side. Hawke's face crumpled with guilt once more as Hawke shook his head.

"I really need to stop punching people when I'm drunk," he muttered darkly.

Fenris' brow curved in surprise. "This happens often?" he asked, curious now.

Hawke let out a long sigh. "Yeah, well, I mean, sort of," Hawke said, fumbling over his words as he returned to rubbing at his scarf. "I punched Carver while drunk recently – I don't even remember why and he hasn't told me but he was probably being an ass. He paraded the split lip around like a damned trophy though, refused to have Beth heal it. I don't know what it is with me and my brother, or my uncle, or my old employer, Meeran, I just… lose it around them. I haven't hit my uncle or Meeran… but I have been close quite a few times."

He slumped back against the wall, his gaze lingering on the ground between them. "Nothing I do is ever good enough for Carver; he's told me he hates me and I don't blame him. Gamlen… Gamlen is an ass. Plain and simple. He sold our family estate when it wasn't even his to sell, all to pay off his gambling debts. It was because of him we had to work for Meeran at all. And Meeran was the biggest ass of the lot. Always overworking us because we were his best and because he knew he would only have us for a limited time, until our contracts ran out. The number of times Beth, Carver or I got hurt because he had sent us in without enough information or handed us a job just as we finished a string of others…"

Hawke closed his eyes, letting out a rough sigh. "But you," Hawke looked up at him, his eyes dark with grief, "you did not deserve that punch," he said sincerely.

Fenris shifted on his feet, moving closer to Hawke. "It was… a low blow on my part to use your family against you," he admitted, meeting Hawke's tortured gaze with his own slightly remorseful one.

Hawke smiled and pushed up from the wall so that he came to stand a mere foot from Fenris. "Speaking as a rogue," Hawke said his eyes warming with humour, "low blows are particularly good at disarming people." He was deflecting with humour, but Fenris kept quiet, allowing the rogue to speak. "And I needed that… I didn't think, when I ran off, I mean, I just… I _needed_ to be faster, you know? The things I saw-" He took a shuddering breath. "I needed to forget, to clear my head. Running killed two birds with one stone." Hawke rubbed the back of his neck but his gaze turned serious. "You saved my life back there. I'd be dead if it weren't for you, Fenris."

"It was nothing, Hawke," Fenris replied, hating that he could feel the faintest of blushes creeping up his cheeks.

Hawke was smiling at him, a drunken lazy smile, and Hawke's hand came up to rest against Fenris' chest plate, his fingers curling slightly over the metal, making Fenris still. "So modest," Hawke muttered. "Were you out all night looking for me?" he asked with a slight husk to his voice.

"Myself and others were, yes," Fenris said as he avoided Hawke's gaze, hiding his eyes beneath his fringe instead.

"Interesting…" Hawke purred. "I don't see anyone else now, though."

"They are searching other parts of the city," Fenris said, feeling his heart quicken and hoping Hawke could not feel it through his breastplate where the rogue's hand still sat.

Fenris could only see the lower half of Hawke's face through his hair, so he had a perfect view of the smirk that stretched across it at that. "Out all night, looking for me… You must have been worried to do that," Hawke said, moving closer to that his breath ghosted over Fenris' cheek, making him shudder despite its sour scent.

"Hawke, you're still drunk," Fenris said around a thick swallow.

"Mm. Good. If I'm thinking about you it means I'm not thinking about that fucking spell." His face twisted into a scowl and he pouted. "Shit, now I'm thinking about it again." His eyes lit up suddenly and he smiled. "I need more booze. You must have some in that big old mansion of yours," he said with a wicked grin.

"Hawke…" Fenris warned.

"Race you there!"

And then Hawke was gone before he could stop him or advise him to visit his family first. Fenris sighed, staring down at the spot on his chest plate where Hawke's hand had been. He was not used to such intimate contact. He had never… not with anyone. But Hawke was drunk; he should have anticipated him being more forward with his flirtations. He shrugged it off as just that and jogged to the Hawke home.

"Fenris!" Bethany said as she threw the door open to him, her eyes flicked to his side, searching and her shoulders slumped when she didn't see her brother with him. "Have you had any luck?" she asked worriedly.

"I found him," he said. Emotions flashed quickly across her face: relief, then confusion, then worry, then fear. He lifted his hands so as to calm her. "He is well," he added. Bethany sighed in relief. "He sprinted off again, this time toward Hightown."

"Why Hightown?"

"He wishes to consume more alcohol."

"Ohh, I am going to give him such a bollocking when I see him!" she said as she folded her arms across her chest. "Carver took mother to the market; we needed to distract her with _something_ to stop her worrying."

"Then you should go inform them. I shall find Hawke and bring him back here as soon as he is… less out of sorts."

"It's that bad?" she asked. "Oh of course it is, he would have come straight home otherwise. It's not like him to leave us worrying." She chewed on her lip, doing exactly that. "Did he say much to you? Where did you find him?"

"At the Docks," Fenris said. "And only a little," he lied. He was not sure how much Hawke would want revealed to his sibling.

"Your lip…" she left the question hanging between them.

"It's nothing." He took a step back from the doorway. "I will go to Hightown now."

"Thank you," she said, a twitch of a smile at her lips.

He nodded and headed back down the steps.

* * *

 

Hawke was not at his mansion and Fenris sighed roughly, shaking his head. " _Stultus_ ," he muttered more to himself than at Hawke. He should not have let him out of his sight again. He doubted Hawke could afford alcohol from anywhere in Hightown so he wasn't entirely certain where the rogue could have gone instead. And he had to admit, Hawke knew the city better than he did. Much better. Hawke knew every alley and sewer entrance, every safe rooftop and every hidden alcove. Fenris would struggle to find him if he had deliberately vanished again.

" _There you are_!" Hawke suddenly called from behind him. The rogue was dripping with sweat, his thick hair slicked back and away from his red face. "Here," he said as he tossed something wrapped up in brown fabric at him. Fenris caught it and unwrapped it, staring down at the warm pie in his hand with a baffled frown. "You said you were out all night, I figured you hadn't eaten either."

"That is appreciated," Fenris stated carefully. "You do not have alcohol," he pointed out.

Hawke shrugged. "Booze was just plan B. Place C is much better."

"And that would be?"

"A job."

Fenris stared at him and blinked once. "A… job?"

Hawke grinned and took a big bite from his pie. "Mmmhmm," he mumbled. "I just got handed it."

"Hawke, the last thing you should be considering right now is a job."

"Nonsense. I ran all the way up here, didn't I? I'm fine, and this job _needs_ to be done today." Fenris arched a sceptical brow at the rogue. "It's from a Magistrate," Hawke explained. "As in one of the most powerful and influential people in Kirkwall. If I do this for him it might help speed up my mother's petition to the Viscount."

"Your jobs are never simple."

"Eh, we just have to go to some cave, clear out all the monsters, and find the fugitive that's hiding in there. Job done. It'll be easy."

"You are in no condition to fight and the rest of us are just as tired."

"I… I know. And I will have to apologise profusely for that, to all of you. But this job really can't wait. It's too important and the Magistrate was impatient and a bit of a dick so we need to do a good job."

"Hawke…" Fenris said warningly.

" _Fenris_ ," Hawke echoed back petulantly. "I'm doing this with or without you. It'll just be a lot fucking easier with you at my back, or side, or whatever-any where's good."

"You would go alone, risking your life for this Magistrate?"

"No. But I would for my family."

Fenris sighed.

"Hawke!" Aveline's voice cried out before the guard barrelled into the surprised rogue. She hugged him tightly before pulling back and scowling. "Don't you _ever_ worry me like that again."

"Sorry Aveline," Hawke mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't think-"

"I know you didn't. You're usually smarter than that, Hawke." She shook her head, her eyes taking in his various injuries. "You need healing."

"I'm really okay-"

"He wishes to do a job now," Fenris said, folding his arms, unamused.

"What?" she asked. "A job? Hawke, you can't be serious."

Hawke glared up at Fenris before turning his attention back to the guard. "As I was saying to Fenris… It's for a Magistrate and it _needs_ to be done today. I know it's shite timing and everyone's tired, but my hands are tied here. I have to do it."

She watched him, her green eyes flickering over his face and then she nodded, apparently deciding there was no fighting Hawke once his mind was made up. "Very well. I'm coming with you."

* * *

 

Theo was glad he had Aveline with them, seeing as he doubted anyone else would be too pleased with this plan of his. Fenris certainly wasn't entirely convinced that this job _needed_ to be done today, but he was walking at Theo's side back to Lowtown, munching mutely on the pie he had bought for the elf, so that was something.

Theo knew he was being, well, an idiot. He usually planned jobs meticulously, making sure he had everything all figured out. But this one couldn't really _be_ planned. They needed to recover the fugitive quickly, without delay, and deliver him alive and well back to the Magistrate. Theo was already sceptical that the fugitive would be alive if the cave was filled with monsters, but he needed to try – support from a Magistrate would be a huge deal. But the sooner they were at the ruin the better.

And having something to focus on was exactly what he needed right now. Maker knew alcohol definitely wasn't the answer. The run up to Hightown after his flirtatious conversation with Fenris had helped to sober him up enough to realise that alcohol was _not_ going to be a good mix around Fenris. He had wanted to kiss him. Right then and there in the middle of the fucking street with his breath stinking of vomit. Great idea. He'd have received a hand through his chest for that one for sure.

They stopped by The Hanged Man and found Varric immediately, speaking with some off-duty guardsmen. Varric seemed to sense their presence, because he turned as they approached him. Theo's gut twisted a little at seeing how relieved the dwarf looked to see him.

"Hawke!" he exclaimed. "They found you, and just as I was starting to sweat a bit…"

Theo smiled apologetically down at Varric. "Sorry," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to worry anyone."

"Ha! I knew you'd be fine. I was sweating because time is money, my friend," Varric said with a cheeky smile.

Theo smirked. "Speaking of… I got us a job. Up for a little walk outside of the city?"

"Again? What is it with you and jobs in the damned countryside?" Varric grumbled. "Nature and I don't really get along…"

"You'll like this one. An employer with connections deep in the heart of Kirkwall's justice system, a cave full of terrifying flesh eating monsters, a mysterious missing fugitive, and us, the daring rescuers!"

"Damnit. How do I allow you to talk me into these messes?"

"I was thinking the same thing," Fenris said wryly.

"So was I," Aveline added.

Theo let out a staccato snort and headed for the door, leaving Varric, Aveline and Fenris to follow after him.

* * *

 

Varric tried, really, he did, to stifle his snicker with his hand but he just ended up making a loud snorting sound at the back of his throat.

Hawke had returned home to tell his family he was safe, and his mother had immediately tackled him, wrapping her arms tight around him – so tight Hawke was now turning red as he tried to get out from her embrace on the floor. Junior was being his usual grumpy self, standing in the corner, arms folded, but even from Varric's height down here he could see the relief in the younger Hawke's eyes at seeing his brother alive and well. Sunshine, however, looked livid. Usually when Varric saw that kind of look in someone's eyes he would be very slowly edging back to the door to get the hell out of there. But they were gonna need Sunshine on this trip of theirs, so there was no escaping.

"Mother _please_ ," Hawke whined as he once again tried to free himself from his mother's clutches.

"Oh my sweet boy," she said as she pulled back just enough to kiss the top of his head and breathe him in deeply. She glanced up at a slightly smiling Fenris. "Thank you so much for finding him!"

Hawke groaned. "I'm not a lost puppy that he found…"

"You might as well have been," Sunshine retorted.

"Oh you scared us, Theodore!" his mother said as she cupped Hawke's face, staring at him, her eyes close to tearing up.

"I know," Hawke mumbled out, looking more contrite that Varric had after shooting Hawke in the arm upon meeting him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"Oh and you're hurt!" his mother interrupted as she began to fuss over the bruising on Hawke's jaw and the deep gashes across his chest and arm. "Bethany?"

Sunshine glared at Hawke, before shaking her head a little and sighing. She knelt next to him on the floor. "I should let you suffer for making us worry so much," she muttered.

"I really am sorry, Beth," Hawke said softly. He glanced up at Junior, smiling slightly. "Sorry you were out all night looking for me, too."

Junior nodded. He shifted on his feet, "And I'm… glad you're not dead in a gutter somewhere, brother."

Sunshine's magic flared and the glow of her healing spell washed over Hawke's head. Hawke smirked slightly at his brother. "Really? I thought you'd be pleased if that happened. You'd finally be in the spotlight." Hawke was trying for levity but it made Junior wince.

"You know I would never-" He shook his head. "You can keep the spotlight. That doesn't mean I'll stay in your shadow forever… but for now, I am with you."

"I'm glad you said that…" Hawke said, his face lifting into a winning smile. Varric grinned, waiting for Hawke's pitch. It was gonna be a damned miracle if he won over Sunshine. It looked like she was healing him rather… aggressively, if the small winces Hawke kept making were anything to go by. Not that the human would say anything; he clearly thought he deserved the rough treatment from her. "We've got a job to do this afternoon."

"Oh you cannot be serious!" Sunshine exclaimed. Hawke just smiled sheepishly at her and Bethany threw up her hands in annoyance. "No. Absolutely not! You haven't slept. You're hurt and you're still drunk!"

"I'm not tired. You just healed me. And I've sobered up considerably… I'll be fine."

"You'll get yourself killed if you do a job today," she said gravely.

"Not if I have you at my side I won't," Hawke said with a playful smile.

"Theo, please, can't you just stay in, rest?" his mother implored.

"I can't," Hawke said softly, sadly. "This is a job from a Magistrate. We _have_ to do it. It could help us so much with the petition; help us get the estate back sooner. I can't disappoint him. We _need_ to do it today." All three members of Hawke's family perked up at that and Varric smiled; Hawke had already convinced them.

"What exactly is the job?" Carver asked.

Hawke smirked.


	11. Torn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo and the gang have to decide what to do with Kelder.

Theo regretted agreeing to the job upon setting out _almost_ immediately.

He felt like shit. He had the shakes, his heart was thudding away in his chest and his head was pounding despite Bethany's healing magic. Apparently booze, lack of sleep and getting smacked about by that merc had left him feeling rather shite. Who would have thought it?

He just wanted this job _done_. He could please that prick of a Magistrate, win his support, get a fat purse of coin as a reward and then… well, he wasn't sure he would be able to go to bed as such - he knew he'd be having nightmares as soon as his head hit the pillow - but passing out from booze would work well. He had hoped that being out on the coast with the sea air would clear his head a bit, but it was too damned sunny and it just made his eyes ache so he was left squinting at everything and everyone.

"You appear to be sweating quite a lot," Fenris pointed out. The elf's expression was blank, but there was humour in his voice. Just what Theo needed.

"It's a hot day," he replied evenly, not looking at the elf as he feigned nonchalance.

"It looks like you would fall over if someone so much as blew in your ear."

Theo arched a surprised brow at the elf before narrowing his eyes. "Blow in my ear, Fenris, and I'll give you another shiner on the other side of that pretty face of yours."

The faintest of sardonic smiles touched Fenris' lips. "I'd like to see you try."

Oh _Maker_. No, he _really_ didn't need that.

He shook his head despairingly before marching on ahead. He needed to stop this ridiculous flirting with Fenris. It couldn't go anywhere, not that he expected it to – he doubted Fenris would even _want_ anything like that – but for his own sanity's sake, he needed to stop before he got too… attached. But he wasn't even sure how he could do that. Fenris was their best sword – _no offense Carver_ – and with Aveline normally doing guard stuff, Theo didn't have much choice in bringing Fenris around with them. And he _did_ like Fenris' company. A lot. They got along well, for the most part.

Oh, he really just needed to stop thinking about him and focus on the job at hand. They were near the ruins now, he was sure.

They found the group of guards a short ways down the sandy path, all of them just mingling uselessly outside the cave entrance. They straightened up quickly enough upon seeing Aveline, though.

Theo marched up to one who looked to be in charge: a man with an unusually large nose and fluffy tawny hair. "We're here to do your job for you," he said, really not caring if he sounded like an ass. "Where's the fugitive?"

The man scoffed. "No skin off my nose if you want to go in there and get yourself killed," the guard said and Theo nearly burst out laughing at the man's poor choice of words.

"Losing a bit of skin off your nose might not be such a bad idea, mate," he mumbled with a smile. The guard's eyes narrowed and he scrubbed at his nose self-consciously

"Hawke," Aveline warned. She looked to the guard. "Tell us what you know, Lieutenant."

"Of course, Captain. The man you're looking for is holed up in those ruins, pretty far in – we couldn't reach him. But I doubt he's in one piece by now."

"That bastard's to be brought in alive after all he's done!?" a new voice suddenly shouted from the top of the hill. They all turned as an irate elf stormed down the sandy slope toward them. His red hair was a dishevelled mess, like he'd run his hands through it one too many times and his expression was nothing short of livid. Theo stepped forward, his fingers twitching over his daggers in case things got violent. "Just because it isn't you and your pretty shemlen children he's after-"

Theo snorted derisively. "Look at these guards, I doubt any of them has to worry about having pretty children," he snarked.

Aveline let out a rough sigh and he could see her rubbing at her forehead out of the corner of his eye. He hated her disappointed face, which is exactly why he kept his eyes on the elf.

"That is not what I meant!" the elf snapped, eyes narrowed in a glare. "The man you are after, he targets elves. He dragged my daughter into those ruins and killed her! I want him dead!" Theo stilled at that, his gut tightening like a coil. The elf hung his head, his shoulders sagging. "My girl, Lia, she wasn't his first victim. Over the years he's taken dozens of our children and not once has he paid for his crimes."

Theo glanced briefly at his sister and his hand gripped tightly around his scarf. "When did he take your daughter?" he asked.

"This morning – she was just, she was just _playing_ with the younger children. I – I turned away for one moment!" He shook his head, tears welling in his olive green eyes.

Theo nodded in understanding. "What's your name?"

"Elren," the elf said, sniffing. "I'm a merchant in the city." He looked up, his gaze tearful. "Please, nobody cares that our children are being slaughtered."

"You're wrong. I care," Theo said sincerely. "But there _are_ laws in place for this kind of thing…"

"Quite right," Aveline said.

"No! Don't you understand? If you take him in, he'll be free again by nightfall! For all my damned coin, I'm still only an elf to these shemlen. There'll be no justice for my girl in the courts of Kirkwall."

Theo rubbed at the back of his neck, staring at the elf sympathetically. "He might already be dead… I won't know until I get in there."

"If he is alive… _please_ kill him," Elren begged.

"I can't promise anything," Theo said, voice strained as the elf's face crumpled.

"All you shemlen are the same," he muttered under his breath, turning away to stalk off down the beach. Theo watched his back, his teeth clenched. With a short sigh, he turned and headed toward the ruin's entrance.

"No chance this is the same murderer you were investigating for that Templar?" Aveline asked him as they walked.

"Unlikely. Several human women were dead because of that one. If this fugitive only targets elves…"

She nodded. "Just so you know," she said voice low, "I have my guards watching your family more closely now—keeping an eye on them. I know you don't like it when I spy but-"

He touched her shoulder, squeezing it. "Thank you."

She gave him a small smile, nodding once. "Of course. You're family."

He bowed his head and then turned to focus on the cave ahead. If it weren't for the guards stationed either side of the entrance, he wasn't sure he would have noticed it. Part of the entrance had crumbled away entirely, leaving rocks piled up on one side of it. The rest was a thin crack that was a squeeze for anyone in bulky armour to get through.

Theo had to admit, he was a little nervous about bringing everyone into such a place. He had no maps of the ruin, no idea what the layout was or what monsters they'd be facing. But they didn't have a choice. They were here now - and they needed to get the job done, one way or the other.

Theo walked carefully down the crumbling steps, keeping an eye out for trouble, his companions following closely behind him.

It was dreary inside, all cobwebs and crumbled stone. Bethany lit up her staff and the warm orange light chased away the immediate shadows, revealing just how old the ruins must have been. There were tree roots breaking through much of the ceiling, big gnarled things that had cracked the stone above. The ground was coated in a thick layer of sand that had presumably either blown in through the entrance or fallen through those cracks. There were tracks in it that belonged to the heavy footed guards that had stomped their way through there, and anything else Theo might have been able to identify had been destroyed by the guard's prints.

"Carver, Aveline, check that door. Bethany, Varric watch our backs. Fenris, with me," he said as the narrow corridor split off to the left.

Carver and Aveline trudged down it, their armour rattling with their steps. Theo knew Carver didn't like the slightly bulkier chainmail he now had, but he'd be a lot safer from dragon claws in that than his old padded leathers. With a hard shove, Carver shouldered the door but all he accomplished was a loud groan and more sand falling from the ceiling.

"We're not going this way," Aveline said as she headed back toward them.

That's when the giant spiders dropped from the ceiling, hissing so loudly everyone jumped.

"I _hate_ those things!" Varric grumbled as he pulled Bianca off his back.

Aveline was the first to bury her sword in a spider, bringing it down right between its eyes. Carver and Fenris rushed in seconds later, their jobs much easier thanks to Bethany freezing two of the spiders solid, ready for them to shatter. One spider started scuttling toward Varric, seemingly unfazed by the bolts embedded in its hide by the dwarf's crossbow, and Theo charged over and buried his daggers in its flank. He jumped back, dragging his daggers free and barely evading sharp, venomous fangs sinking into his bicep.

Varric ended its life with a well place bolt through one of its eyes and the creature shrivelled up, legs curled in on itself. Theo turned around, ready to help the others, but found all the other spiders dead too.

Carver sheathed his sword, shaking his head. "Next time _you_ check the door," he groused as he walked over the dead remains of the spiders and up the corridor.

"They scare you, brother?" he teased. Carver just huffed in response and carried on walking. Aveline followed after him, smiling slightly.

Theo kept his daggers in hand, just in case as he trailed after them. It was probably best that he wasn't in the front right now; his mind was stuck fretting about this fugitive. The fact that they had been kidnapping and murdering young elves was… disturbing. After the murderer they had failed to catch in the foundry, Theo couldn't help but want to bring this one to justice. But what Elren had said about the killer being set free again by nightfall had made him feel sick to his stomach with dread. Already he was worrying over what he would do, how he would resolve this mess… but all of that was moot until they found the fugitive. So he pressed on, ignoring his twisting gut and pounding heart.

* * *

 

"Oh thank the Maker," Theo said in a rush as he rounded the corner to see an elf girl on her knees, _alive_. "Lia?" he asked as he approached her carefully, putting his weapons away as he did so.

She looked up at him, her eyes and cheeks wet with tears. "Wh-who are you? How do you know my name?"

"I'm Theo," he said quietly as he knelt down in front of her, his knees resting in the sand. "Your father told me you were missing; he's outside right now."

"My father?" she said, her eyes going wide. "He's alive? Kelder said he would hurt my family if I didn't come with him…" Her lips started trembling again, and Theo reached out to squeeze her hand.

"It's alright. He's safe and so are you. I won't let this Kelder person hurt you or anyone else, okay? Do you know where he is?"

"He… let me go," she said with a puzzled little frown. "I tried to get out, but then those… things, they started coming out of the walls. I thought I heard him calling for me. I almost went back to him. I didn't want to be eaten!" she cried as another sob wracked her lithe frame. "But Kelder… he was… he hit me, told me I was nothing." She hung her head sadly and Theo's hands clenched in his lap. "I begged him to stop hurting me. I didn't think he would, but out of nowhere he pushed me away and started crying." Her gaze flicked back up to Theo's, her brown eyes glistening with tears. "Don't you see? He didn't mean to hurt me! He told me. There are demons; they make him do horrible things!"

Theo couldn't help but pity the poor girl and he could feel the anger boiling just beneath the surface of his skin. How was he supposed to let this Kelder person live when he had hurt her? Hurt so many others? But the Magistrate… He sighed roughly. "It doesn't matter if the Maker himself was telling this man to hurt you, it's still his own damned decision," Theo said with more bite than he had meant to.

"I don't believe that! He couldn't stop himself!" she said desperately.

Theo's shoulders sagged as he glanced up at his sister. "Beth, can you heal her injuries?" His sister nodded and came to kneel next to the young elf, her hands glowing with magic. Theo got to his feet, shoving his hair away from his face with an agitated swipe. "Varric, think you can take her back?"

"Sure thing, Hawke. Bianca's not a fan of the dark anyway."

"Lia," Theo said softly. "This is Varric and his crossbow, Bianca; they're going to take you out of here, back to your father, okay?" The elf girl nodded feebly and Bethany helped her to her feet, done with her healing spells.

"You named your crossbow Bianca?" Lia said as she walked away with Varric, sniffling loudly as she wiped her nose.

"I sure did," Varric said with a chuckle.

Theo looked at Aveline, Fenris and his siblings. "Stay close. This Kelder fellow sounds unstable. And if there really are demons talking to him…"

"We'll be ready," Bethany assured him.

The only sound in the next chamber was the gentle drip of trickling water. The ground itself was slippery, slick with slimy moss. Theo trod carefully as he led the way forward. Ahead, sitting against a moss-covered pillar, was a hooded figure who Theo assumed was the fugitive. He signalled for his companions to fan out and stay alert.

"I knew my father would eventually send someone," Kelder said resignedly. "I was hoping the beasts down here would get me first."

Theo stepped closer to Kelder, frowning as he let his hands rest on the pommels of his daggers. "You came here to die, then?" he asked.

"Yes. It's what I deserve. I should be torn apart, forgotten down here," he said with a considerable amount of self-loathing and venom in his voice. "Not protected by my father."

"I was sent to bring you back by a… Ah," Theo said, his gut sinking in realisation. Everything made sense now. "The Magistrate is your father."

Kelder nodded once. "He tried so hard to keep me – and what I've done – hidden away," he said as he scowled at the ground between them.

"Not hard enough, so it seems," Fenris commented evenly.

"Sounds like the Magistrate's more worried about keeping his job than doing it," Bethany pointed out, the anger in her voice very apparent.

"I'm disgusted by the both of them," Aveline said, her lip twisting.

"Father is a good man," Kelder said, looking up at Theo again. "He tried to help, to stop me. But he can't… no-one can." He stared down at his hands, clenching and unclenching the bruised and bloody digits. Theo's jaw clenched at the sight of the fists that had only recently been used to drag Lia in here and beat her. "That elf girl," Kelder began again, scowling, "she had no right to be so beautiful, so perfect. The demons said she needed to be taught a lesson, like all the others. The Circle was supposed to help me, but they lied! They said there were no demons, that I was mad. This isn't my fault."

Theo was trembling, but it wasn't because of his hangover. He slowly crouched down in front of Kelder, his fists clenched so tight the leather of his gloves creaked. He stared Kelder down. "Let me get this straight," he said, his voice scarily calm despite how close to boiling point his temper was. "You torture and murder elven children for being too _beautiful_?"

"While blaming demons that aren't there. He's just mad," Carver added.

"I – I didn't want to hurt them," Kelder pleaded. "They force me! The demons don't like it when they cry."

"If the Circle expected a demon at work, they never would have loosed him on the city," Bethany said, her voice trembling with anger.

"No! They lied!" Kelder said desperately.

Theo inhaled sharply through his nose. "Why did you let Lia go?"

Kelder frowned, his head tilting. "I was… crying and she asked me if I was alright. After everything the demons made me do to her. She was concerned about _me_." His frown deepened. "How could I let them destroy something so good, so pure?"

"I'm sure the other children you murdered were good and pure too," Theo hissed as he pushed back to his feet.

"Th-they were too beautiful, they had to be taught a lesson, changed," Kelder went on to say, "The demons were jealous of them. I tried so hard to stop; you don't know what it's like, them whispering to me, all of the time! Even now they're here. Can't you hear them?"

"Excuse after excuse. Can we just kill him?" Carver said, folding his arms in annoyance.

"We can't take him back to Kirkwall, Theo," Bethany added, "His father won't do what needs to be done."

"I agree," Aveline said. "No justice will be served by taking him back to his father."

"I can't stop," Kelder said, almost sobbing, "I've tried so many times. Please, you have to kill me. There's no other way."

"He sees the truth of it, Hawke," Fenris said. "Allow me to grant his wish, if you will not."

"Fuck," Theo muttered as he began to pace.

They _needed_ the Magistrate's support – or at least, they needed not to make an enemy of him. But how could Theo let this monster live, after all he had done? Didn't all of the families who had lost children to this mad man deserve justice, deserve to have their fears that more children would be taken put to rest? If Theo returned Kelder to his father and he was freed again by nightfall, as Elren had said would happen, then every single elf child taken, beaten and murdered from this day forward would be on Theo's conscience. More blood on his hands. And all so that his family was a bit safer, a bit better off. Could he do that?

He already knew his answer. He'd made similar decisions before.

"Brother?" Bethany asked softly, worriedly.

"What's so bloody hard about this decision? He needs to die," Carver said gruffly.

"What's _hard?_ " Theo said, whirling on his brother. "His father is a Magistrate! He knew me by _name_ , Carver! And that means he could know about you and Bethany too. If we don't bring his son back to him in one piece we lose his support – worse, we make an enemy of him! He could counter mother's petition to speak with the Viscount; we might never get the estate back, do you understand that?" He sucked in a deep breath, his hand clutching his scarf. "I don't _want_ him to live. I don't want to be responsible for any more elven children dying. I don't want that kind of blood on my hands. But protecting you is more important - it's _always_ been more important than _anything_ else."

"Theo," Bethany said as she took a hold of his trembling hands. "We can handle one Magistrate. We can't let this man live; you know this."

Theo sighed heavily, hanging his head, his eyes squeezed shut.

"She's very beautiful, your sister," Kelder said, his voice sounding distant and monotone; Theo's eyes snapped open to stare at the madman. "She has such nice hair…"

"You fucking bastard," Theo snarled as he stormed over to the monster. He grabbed him by the collar, lifting him to his feet to slam him back into the pillar. Kelder continued to stare at Bethany, his eyes black as he licked his lips. "Stop fucking looking at her," he hissed as he slammed Kelder into the pillar again. "Carver! Get her the fuck out of here. Now!"

"Theo…" Bethany whispered, unsure.

"Go!"

He didn't want her to see what he was about to do to the bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter one than usual and a bit of a cliffhanger? Sorrry. 
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos guys <3 
> 
> Big thanks to Lys too, for the beta. 
> 
> Next week Anders and Bela are here. That will include spoilers for the previous fic's finale. If you didn't read the previous fic and would prefer to read the events that brought Anders to Kirkwall in detail rather than the summarised version you'll get from Anders himself, then I recommend popping back to read Consequences of Choice's finale chapters (the first five are all about Anders/the Circle and are stand alone from everything else in the fic really. The final chapter focuses on Neri and Zev so maybe don't read that if you haven't read ANY thing else from that story 'cause it won't make a whole lotta sense.) Anyway, that's just a warning to any who haven't read that. It's really not a huge deal, either way. 
> 
> So I shall see you all next week <333


	12. The Real Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders is here! And Bela! And there's more terrible flirting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final warning! If you have not read chapters 66-70 of Consequences of Choice, you're gonna get yo ass spoiled by Anders here. If you're cool with that, then keep reading!

Hawke scrubbed at his hands frantically, his whole body shaking as he washed the blood from them in the small pool of water in the chamber's corner. What was left of Kelder lay slumped against the pillar, his blood smeared across the ground. Fenris stared down at the blood on his own gauntlets and clenched them, the lyrium on his skin still cooling from using it so recently.

Given Hawke's clear anger at the madman, Fenris had expected him to lay into him, to beat and kill him. What Hawke had actually done was much smarter, while still allowing him to take out his rage on the man and ending him as a threat to anyone else.

Hawke stood, drying off his hands. He looked to Fenris, throwing him a wet rag, "Clean your gauntlets." Fenris caught the rag and did as he was bid, wiping away the smears of blood.

"Let's get out of here," Hawke said as he headed for the door without looking back. Aveline glanced down at the body, her face pale; she swallowed thickly and then headed out the door as well.

They found Hawke's siblings waiting for them down one of the long corridors; they both rushed toward Hawke as he approached. They had questions, wanted answers, but Hawke silenced them with a wave of his hand as he continued walking toward the exit. "We tell them he was already dead when we found him," he said briskly.

"But-" Bethany interrupted.

"Don't," Hawke said, his voice cracking. "Let's go."

The guards were not surprised that Kelder was dead, nor did they question it - not with Aveline present. Lia was the only one to say it wasn't possible, but Elren soon shut her up and carried her away with a nod of thanks to Hawke. Fenris could see that Varric also had his suspicions, but he wasn't foolish enough to speak of it in front of the still-present guards. And so they had made their way back to Kirkwall.

"Brother…" Bethany said once they were some ways from the ruin.

"I don't want to talk about it, Bethany."

"What did you _do?_ "

"He's dead, just as you all wanted. Why does it matter how he died?"

"Because there's a difference between beating a man to death and a mercy kill!"

"And what do you want me to tell you?" Hawke snapped at her. "I'm not a good liar."

Hawke did not look at his sister as he carried on walking along the sandy path, but Fenris saw her eyes go wide and heard the quiet gasp that left her opened mouth. She looked to Fenris and Aveline, obviously hoping they would give her answers, but Fenris just shrugged a shoulder at her and continued on after Hawke.

"It's better not to ask," Aveline said softly. "He did what he had to."

* * *

 

"Go home," Hawke said to his siblings as they neared the city's gates. "I will go to Hightown to speak with the Magistrate."

"No, we're not letting you go alone-" Bethany tried to protest.

"Just do as I say. Please," Hawke said, suddenly sounding bone-weary as he sighed heavily. "I can handle this alone."

"You've already said you're a horrible liar," Carver pointed out. "Shouldn't someone else do this?"

"He expects me," Hawke said. "So just go home. I'll see you later."

The twins and Varric didn't look convinced or too impressed, but they all nodded.

"I'll walk you home, Sunshine," Varric said.

"I'm heading home too," Carver said. "There's no need for you to _walk her home_."

"Better safe than sorry, Little Hawke."

"Yep, still hate you, dwarf."

"I will go with you, if you like, Hawke," Fenris said. "I am heading that way anyway."

Hawke hesitated before nodding, and Fenris struggled to catch a glimpse of the emotions that flashed across his face as Hawke turned away, his hair hiding much of it from Fenris' view.

"I'm going with you too," Aveline said, catching up to walk at Hawke's side. "Your story will sound better with the Captain of the Guard there to confirm it."

"Fine, but no funny business, Aveline. You don't know Kelder is his son, remember?" She clenched her jaw before reluctantly nodding.

* * *

 

The Court of Kirkwall was a tall building in the east of Hightown; hard to miss, really. And like the rest of this Maker forsaken city, it was decorated with images of slaves, black and worn against the pristine grey stone. At some point the dark images had been altered to look like prisoners being corralled by guards, but it wasn't really fooling anyone. Theo stared up at the oppressive building, standing in its huge shadow at the bottom of the steps that led up to it.

He glanced at Fenris and Aveline, giving them both a curt nod which they returned, before they walked up the steps together.

Each step made his legs ache; he was so damned sore from running half the night, and although Bethany had healed him multiple times throughout the day, there was little he could do about the tiredness that had set in since killing Kelder. He was simply exhausted, physically and emotionally.

They were stopped by two guards dressed in grey armour at the top of the steps. "State your business," one said, giving Hawke a once over before narrowing his eyes at Fenris.

"Yes, he's an elf," Theo snapped. "And he's with me." He noticed the surprised twitch Fenris made next to him and the way the guard balked at his curt words. "We're here to see a Magistrate. And no, I don't know his bloody name – he sent me into some ruins to find some fugitive."

Aveline cleared her throat. "It's been a long day," she said in way of an apology.

The guards nodded and stepped aside so that they could enter the courthouse. Theo was momentarily stunned by the building's interior; the marbled floors glistened beneath their feet and Theo groaned upon seeing his reflection staring back at him. He looked rough. Really rough, with deep bags under his eyes, his beard a scruffy overgrown mess. Honestly, he looked about ten years older than he was. But it had been a very long day, starting with the previous night's demon-filled nightmares, and the endless fleeing through the streets, followed by the booze and the fight with Harimann's men. Kelder had just been the cherry on the top of the cake of one of the most stressful twenty four hours of his life.

Theo walked up to the main desk, leaning over it to speak to a pretty brunette who had tied her hair up in an elaborate braid that curled all around the top of her head. She narrowed her eyes at him, obviously disgusted by his appearance. She didn't seem any more impressed at Fenris' presence at his side, either, but she gave Aveline a polite nod in greeting.

"I need to speak to a Magistrate; he hired me to-"

"Hawke," a firm voice said from behind him. Theo spun around to find the Magistrate standing tall with his hands clasped behind his back. "What news do you bring?"

Theo took a deep breath. He could do this. "He's dead."

The Magistrate's lips twisted with displeasure. "What happened?"

"He was killed by a monster," Theo said honestly. "He was… barely recognisable as a person when we found him deep in the ruins." None of these things were lies and Theo easily held the Magistrate's stony gaze.

The man's lip pressed into a thin line and he nodded. "The guards will confirm this then?" he said, looking specifically to Aveline.

"Yes. He had been torn apart."

"You can go see for yourself," Theo suggested. "Or order the guards to bring back all the bits and pieces of him, I suppose."

The Magistrate's nose crinkled. "That is quite enough," he snapped. "I will not be paying you for this. I asked you to bring him back to me alive. Leave."

Theo ground his teeth but dipped his head politely and headed for the doors. He sucked in a huge gulp of air once he was outside again, letting out a nervous chuff of laughter on the exhale.

"You did well," Fenris said with a hint of a smile, as they walked down the steps.

"It's easier when you don't have to lie," he admitted.

Fenris' brows furrowed with a frown. "You are not a monster, Hawke."

"He's right," Aveline agreed. "You did the right thing, even if your methods were… extreme."

She hadn't approved of how he'd killed Kelder. Not at all. A quick, clean kill would have been kinder, they all knew that. But it wouldn't have looked realistic or believable. She hadn't stopped him though; she had just turned her back, not wanting to watch. Fenris, however, had seen the whole thing. Had seen him lay into Kelder. And when Theo had asked Fenris to rip out that bastard's heart and smear it across the ground, Fenris had not hesitated. Theo had expected him to be disgusted with him, to think less of him now for seeing just how capable of savage violence he was. Yet apparently he didn't think he was a monster. Theo didn't understand it.

"I didn't do the right thing at all," Theo argued.

"He needed to die, Hawke. We all agreed," Fenris said, watching him with that frown still.

"He did. But I didn't kill him because it would protect all of the innocent elf children," he replied. "I did it to protect Bethany. That's it. Until he called her beautiful, I was going to let him live, drag him back to Kirkwall, and hand him over to the Magistrate."

"You were looking out for your family, Hawke," Aveline said. "There's nothing wrong with that." She tried to give him a reassuring smile but it fell flat with her still looking slightly disturbed.

He ran a hand through his hair, his gut twisting. It wasn't like that was the first time he'd done something heinous to protect those he loved. The difference was, others had seen it this time.

"I need to get back to the Keep," she said reluctantly. "You'll be alright?"

He gave her a tight nod. "Thanks for your help… and for, well, everything."

That time she did smile. "Anytime, Hawke."

"And Donnic too, you'll thank him for me?"

A little bit of colour tinged her cheeks at the mention of the guardsman's name and she ducked her head a bit. "Of course." She dipped her head to them both and then headed for the Keep.

Theo sighed heavily through his nose. "I need a drink."

"Should you not sleep?" Fenris asked. "You must be exhausted."

Theo let out a short laugh at that. Trust Fenris to be polite about it. "I know I look like shit, Fenris, no need to step around it." Fenris smiled, gaze dropping to the ground. "But, no. I… won't sleep well tonight so I'm going to put it off for as long as possible."

Fenris nodded in understanding. "There is wine at the mansion, if you'd care to have some."

"I-" Theo rubbed at the back of his neck, unsure of what to do. He _did_ want a drink, but _with_ Fenris was probably a terrible idea.

"You gave me dinner, Hawke; let me repay you with a drink at least."

"I think you more than repaid me by staying out hunting for me all night and saving my life. Aren't you shattered too? I really don't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be," Fenris said with something a little playful dancing across his lips. "Besides, you helped me obtain the mansion; you deserve to drink the wine I found in its cellar," he said, deliberately echoing Theo's words from that night he had invited him to dinner. Theo chuckled, shaking his head despairingly.

"Okay… but _one_ drink, then I really should go. I doubt you want to see me drunk, again."

Fenris shrugged. "So long as you do not vomit on my feet again, I do not mind."

Theo chuckled as they began walking to the mansion. "Yeah… sorry about that. I'll have to make it up to you, somehow," he said with a slight husk to his voice. Fenris arched a black brow at him, the faintest of smirks at his lips, and Theo immediately knew that this 'drink' was definitely a terrible idea.

* * *

 

Anders knew that Kirkwall was known as the City of Chains, but by the Maker, you'd think they'd take down some of the old slave statues! It had been hundreds of years since Kirkwall was part of the Imperium and yet the statues still stood tall and foreboding at the city's harbour. _And what a charming entranceway it made_ , Anders couldn't help but think sarcastically.

He shivered upon seeing the Gallows though – or at least, he assumed they were the Gallows. He doubted the floating island with spiked walls and Templars marching around it was the city's Chantry.

He'd always thought Kinloch Hold was bad, but the Gallows were a literal prison. A prison that poor Karl was locked up in. That never failed to leave a sour taste in his mouth whenever he thought about it, and he often did. On the journey to Kirkwall, his mind had been able to focus on little else, actually. But he couldn't think of any ways to get Karl out without drawing the attention of the Templars on them both. And as much as that reckless part of him wanted to say to hell with the consequences and do it anyway, he just couldn't take that risk. Not now. Not anymore.

He wished things were different, that he didn't need to be careful, but the whole point of him coming to this cursed city was to _avoid_ the wrath of those back home: the Templars, the nobles, the common folk, all of whom were mad at the Wardens for supposedly blowing up the Circle Tower. Marching into the Gallows, shooting lightning at Templars and breaking out Karl would _probably_ draw unwanted attention, and that was the last thing he needed.

And he was the last person in Thedas who wanted a repeat performance of what had happened at Kinloch Hold. All those mages and Templars, dead. He could still smell the smoke on his robes, could still hear the screams when he was alone and it was quiet, could still see the bodies when he closed his eyes. The Templars had done that, Rylock and her rebel band of madmen. He didn't know if news had reached Kirkwall yet; it had certainly spread like wild fire in Ferelden. Angry mobs had been at the Keep in a matter of hours, although he supposed the fact that you could see the smoking ruin of the Tower from miles around hadn't helped much with that.

As morbid as it was, he was excited to see how other Circles would react to the news. Especially the part where the Templars had been the ones to blow up the Tower. Would they rise up? Would Justice get the rebellion he had tried to convince Anders that they could achieve together? His gut twisted with guilt. The spirit was gone now, cut down by an angry mob in Amaranthine. A mob Justice had refused to fight because they were just innocent, grieving men and women. The spirit had held them all back so that Anders could run, just like he always did. The memory made him scowl bitterly.

He had watched Justice die from the safety of the ship. Had watched as the glowing ball of light left Kristoff's corpse and dissipated on the wind into tiny shimmering fragments. If he had joined with the spirit instead, accepted his offer to merge… He shook his head, sighing. 'What ifs' were always _so_ helpful for one's mood.

He could still help the mages, but just as he had told Justice, Neri had to be his priority. He loved her, and he had no way of knowing what joining with Justice would have done to him… to them. That wasn't something he was willing to risk, selfish as it was. It certainly wasn't something he could have gone through with while she was away, up on that ridiculous trip to the Warden fortress of Weisshaupt.

It still frustrated him to no end that he hadn't been allowed to go with her—the Keep needing at least one mage to remain behind while they were away. The Anderfels had been his childhood home, and some foolish part of him had wanted to go back there in hopes that he'd be able to find his mother, as unlikely as that was. Instead, they had all left and everything had gone to shit.

He sighed as he leaned over the ship's railing, looking down at the choppy waters below, his mood darkening with every passing second. He just wanted Neri back, but he had no way of knowing how long it would take for her to come and meet him.

The ship docked quickly, the men obviously eager to unload their cargo, and their passenger. He headed up through the Docks, getting some pretty odd looks–right, he was still in his blue and silver Warden armour with his favourite brown coat pulled over the top. The staff strapped to his back probably didn't help either; it was about as good as an 'I'm a mage' sign hanging around his neck. He decided he needed to head in the general direction of _up_ , seeing as the city was built into the hills; that and he wanted to be as far away from the Templars as possible. Somewhere in the middle of the city would do nicely, or as nice as anything could be in a city like this.

Despite hating the city, he had decided to come here for two reasons: it was close to Amaranthine, and both Anders and Neri knew people here. She knew someone called Theo who had helped her out during the Blight, and Anders obviously knew Karl, not that he could exactly stop by for a chat with him. But he wasn't sure where he could find this Theo fellow, or if he even should. Right now his priority was going to be finding a not so disgusting tavern – which immediately ruled out the dives on the harbour's edge – so that he could pay for a room for the foreseeable future.

He soon found a _charming_ little place with a hanging man, well, hanging over the doorway. It wasn't too far from the Docks, but neither was it in the fancier part of town where he would no doubt attract unwanted attention. It stank of vomit and ale and his nose winkled as he pushed the door open.

The man at the bar eyed him a little warily at first, but as soon as Anders dropped the silver onto the counter he was more than happy to sort Anders out a room for as long as he needed. He was used to doing things for people in order to get what he wanted; he'd certainly done whatever it took on his escapes from the Tower to keep moving and get as far away from the Templars as possible, but somehow he doubted this guy would want him offering to suck his cock for a warm bed. He had enough coin to last him a while; he would just have to hope Neri didn't take _too_ long to get here, otherwise he really might have to start getting on his knees.

The man led him through the busy tavern and up the stairs. "Isn't often we get Wardens staying here," he said conversationally.

"That would probably be because of the lack of darkspawn," Anders pointed out.

"And does your turning up here mean we gots them to be worried about now, too?"

"Apart from the ones running around deep under your feet right now? No, probably not."

The man swallowed, nodding as he unlocked a door. "This is you. Not our largest room but the comfiest I have left for a longer stay."

"Thanks."

"Just… don't start any trouble, alright? I've heard what they say about Wardens."

"About our stamina and insatiable appetites, you mean?" Anders asked with a wicked smirk.

The red-haired man flushed, shaking his head. "No, that they do as they please."

"Oh, that. Well, I'm just here waiting for someone. You'll barely notice me," Anders said with a charming smile.

The barman nodded and left him to it. Anders had very few belongings thanks to his hasty exit from Amaranthine. He'd left Pounce with Nathaniel—something he was still bitter about and a tad worried over, too; as much as Howe liked the cat, Anders wasn't sure if he would be up to the task of grooming him every day with his favourite brush. He'd grabbed a pouch of coin, his staff, plus his mother's pillow and some food and drink for the journey and that was it. He would need to buy some clothes on the morrow but right now he couldn't care less that his clothes stank of the salt air and rum and smoke from the Tower or any number of other things; all he wanted was something to eat and something to wash it down with.

He propped his staff up against the wall and then exited the room, locking the door behind him.

"Mmm, I know you, don't I?" a feminine voice asked from his right. He looked over his shoulder, finding a dark skinned woman wearing not very much at all staring at him with her hip cocked out and a hand resting on it as her eyes raked up his body. He frowned slightly. Her face looked familiar… He was pretty sure he remembered her from –

He clicked his fingers. _Isabela_. My, my but she looked different.

"You were at the Pearl that time," he said, a brief smile tweaking his lips upwards. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Ohhh! Were you that runaway mage who did that electricity thing?" He smiled and her eyes visibly darkened. "That was _nice_ ," she purred.

"You look different," he replied huskily, enjoying the contrast of dark skin against the bright gold of her necklace which also highlighted the precarious nature of the containment of her cleavage. A smirk twitched to life at his lips. "It suits you."

"I'm not the only one who looks different," she said as she took a step toward him. Her hands threaded through his coat, tugging it open to better look at the silver griffon chest plate. "A Warden," she murmured, biting down on her lip. Her eyes were dark as they flicked back up to his. "Tell me handsome, is it true what they say about Warden stamina?"

He chuckled quietly, ducking his head slightly. A week ago he might have said something cheeky and suggestive, but right now he just felt _tired_.

"Is that a yes then, Sparky?" she asked, rocking on her feet so she was just a little closer to him.

"You've already seen how it is with female Wardens," he said. "I'm sure you can put two and two together."

"I think I'd rather see it with my own eyes," she breathed. Her fingers traced over the griffons on his armour, then slowly slipped up until they were laced around the back of his neck, her smiling lips just inches from his own.

"Some other time, perhaps," he said, pulling her arms away and taking a deliberate step back.

She pouted and folded her arms, pushing up her tits in the process. "Tease," she accused.

"And you're not?" he asked, glancing down at her get-up. "What is that anyway? A tunic? A shirt? A dress?"

"Are you really complaining?" she asked with one brow arched.

He laughed, shaking his head. "No."

"I'm sure you're strong enough to rip it off of me, either way," she said with a seductive lick of her lips.

"I just got here," he started to say, only to see Isabela's lip push out in an even bigger pout than before. He let out a small amused but disbelieving laugh. He'd forgotten how persistent she could be when she wanted something. " _Besides_ ," he said, letting something playful spread across his lips and into his tone, "I'm sure you'd rather test out the stamina of _two_ Wardens rather than just one."

Her tawny eyes lit up with interest. "Oh?"

"That female Warden I was talking about, the one you bedded along with a certain Antivan elf… she's coming here, to Kirkwall."

Isabela's eyes went perfectly round and they visibly darkened as they glazed over. She moaned as her teeth sunk into her lip. "The slayer of the Archdemon is coming here?" she asked, a wistful little smile tugging at her full lips.

"Yes."

"When, and why?"

A smug smirk twitched at his lips and he leaned in close, letting his breath brush over Bela's lips. "She's meeting her boyfriend here."

Isabela's eyes went wide again and she slapped him on the arm. "You lucky sod!" she exclaimed. "She was the best sex I'd had in ages!"

He grinned. "Like I said, you might want to wait before testing out our stamina."

"You don't fancy catching up before then?" she asked, batting her lashes at him.

"Tempting…" he said honestly as he let his gaze fall back down her body. "But no. It'll have to wait."

She let out an annoyed huff and rolled her eyes. "Well, the least you can do is buy me a drink then," she said with a wink as she brushed past him.

He chuckled and followed her down to the main room. They grabbed a table by the fire and Anders ordered himself three bowls of stew and several flagons of ale for them both. It was fairly busy, being early evening in the tavern, and some of the patrons were just starting to lose a hold of their liquor.

"You really do have a big appetite," Isabela murmured suggestively as she watched him shovel down the second bowl without coming up for air.

"You have no idea," he muttered back around a mouthful, making her grin. "What brings you to Kirkwall then?"

She sighed heavily and leant back in her chair. "My ship sank."

"What? How?"

"How do ships normally sink?" she said bitterly. "It got caught in a storm, hit some rocks."

"I'm sorry – I have fond memories of that ship," he said, trying to lighten the sour mood he had put her in.

"Me too," she said back with a slow smirk.

"So now you're what, waiting to buy a new ship?"

She snorted derisively, sitting forward again. "Oh kitten, if only it were that simple." She rolled her neck and then got up from her seat. "Need another?" she asked pointing down at the nearly finished third bowl of stew. Anders smirked sheepishly up at her and she laughed as she headed to the bar.

Isabela got the usual looks as she sauntered through the tavern and the slightly rarer, but no more unusual grabs at her ass and tits which she deftly avoided. Honestly, most of the men in here were pigs. She had no idea why she still came here, although meeting Anders again had been a very nice surprise. He looked _good_ in armour, even more so with his hair half down and the stubble across his jaw. It would be nicer if he was naked, however, and doing that electricity trick again, but for now it was nice to sit with someone not completely sickening.

She reached the bar and ordered them more drinks and food, and then sat down on a stool to wait. Corff usually ignored her after her fifth drink, but he seemed more than happy to serve her today – Anders really did make for good company. He might even be just what she needed to help her out with her little problem; he was supposed to be a good mage, right? And he was a Warden, they were intimidating. But Hayder never played fair; he'd probably have a lot more men. She'd need to even the odds somehow…

She scanned the room and grinned as she caught sight of the _perfect_ odds evener. Varric walked down the stairs looking rather worn out and most definitely in need of a drink. Isabela had seen him recently with a group of people, a rogue, a warrior and a mage if she wasn't mistaken, and she rarely was. They weren't with him now but that didn't mean she couldn't ask the dwarf a favour, or two. She asked Corff for another drink, something strong and dwarven that Varric would enjoy, and she handed it to Varric just as he reached the bar.

"Rivaini, that for me?" he asked as he sat himself on a stool.

"Of course," she purred. "You looked like you could use it."

He chuckled. "You're not wrong." He took a hearty sip, sighing contentedly. She watched, smiling, as she leant her elbow on the counter. His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. "Need something, Rivaini?"

"I've got something that will cheer you right up," she said with a smirk.

He snorted, shaking his head. "Your idea of fun is the last thing I need right now – I just spent all day killing monsters, and I was up most of the night too." She grinned and he chuckled. "Not like that. Trust me, the last thing I need right now is more _fun_. A hot bath and my bed, however…"

"Hmm, were you out hunting monsters with the man with the incredible thighs?"

Varric laughed. "His name is Hawke."

"Oh, so you've noticed them."

"Difficult not to when you're practically eye level with the damned things," Varric grumbled into his drink.

"Mmm, did Hawke help you wrestle monsters with his incredible thighs and manly beard?"

"Ancestor's granite tits, Rivaini, do you think about anything besides sex?"

"Where would be the fun in that?"

He smiled, shaking his head despairingly. "What was it you needed, exactly?"

She sighed. "Someone is hounding me."

"Isabela, I don't get involved in love affairs."

She chortled. "It's not that! I've organised a duel, but I don't expect him to play fair. I think he's going to bring friends, so I thought I'd bring my own."

Varric rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm still not sure this is an actual duel, you know, the kind where everyone keeps their clothes on."

"It is," she promised. "It's to the death and everything!"

He took a long pull of his drink and placed it back on the counter with a loud sigh. "Alright, Rivaini, I'll mention it to Hawke. But we're saving up for the Deep Roads right now, so unless you can promise us coin…"

"Of course I can! If we kill him we get all his stuff." She smiled as he chuckled. "Say…" she said as she ran her fingers over the counter between them, "if you're planning on going to the Deep Roads, wouldn't a Warden be useful?"

"Sure would; you got one hidden in your pockets?" He raised an eyebrow at her lack of trousers and Isabela smirked.

"No," she said. "But I know there's one in Kirkwall right now," she explained with a wicked smile.

Varric's eyebrows leapt up his forehead. "By the dust, how do you know that and I don't?"

She shrugged. "He's an old _acquaintance_ of mine," she purred. "And get this; he's waiting for another Grey Warden."

"Oh?" He took a sip of his ale and Isabela grinned.

"Surana the Slayer."

Varric choked on his ale, sputtering it everywhere as he coughed violently. He levelled a glare at her a second later. "Rivaini," he said seriously, his voice raspy from choking, "you better not be shitting me with this!"

"I'm not," she said honestly. "She's really coming here."

Varric's eyes sparkled and she knew she had him. "Tell you what," she said casually. "Promise to get me that hunk of a man, Hawke, to lend me a hand with my little problem and I'll introduce you to the Slayer's boyfriend."

"Deal," Varric said without hesitation.

Isabela grinned. "He's the blond tucking into the stew. Mm, speaking of…."

"It's here," Corff said as he handed her another two bowls to take back to the Warden. She grabbed them with a smile.

"Tell me everything you know about him," Varric said. "And make it quick."

* * *

 

Theo really should have specified what _one_ drink meant. An entire bottle was _not_ what he'd had in mind when he had agreed to have a drink at Fenris'. He'd had half of it already and could feel the alcohol's effects warming his body, making his already loose tongue a little looser, and dirtier. But the reason he kept drinking it anyway was because he finally felt normal.

Ever since that horror spell had fucked with his head, he'd had this overwhelming sense of dread that he was going to lose his family, but that had finally passed now. It probably helped that he was rather distracted by the big green eyes focused on him right now. Theo's red-amber eyes stared back just as sharply, like autumn gazing into spring. Fenris' narrowed in concentration where he sat across the small table from him, his expression decidedly blank. The elf cracked his knuckles and then his neck, and Theo rolled his shoulders in response, ignoring the slight stiffness from his lack of sleep, and took a deep breath, preparing himself.

"Ready?" he asked, his tone deathly serious.

Fenris gave him a curt nod, his hand hovering over his deck of cards.

Lightning fast Theo began the game, grabbing a card from his face-down deck and slamming it face-up in the middle of the table between them. Fenris moved just as quickly, adding his own face-up card to the pile over Theo's. Theo repeated the action, even faster, and Fenris echoed it, both of their eyes locked on the ever growing pile between them, both of them waiting… waiting…. waiting –

"SNAP!" Theo cried victoriously as he threw his hands in the air.

Fenris glared at him and Theo grinned smugly as he dragged the cards in the centre of the table back into his own pile. He took a long swig from the bottle of wine Fenris had given him before letting out a loud contented sigh as he placed it back down.

He stretched his arms, smirking as he prepared himself for the next round. "You'll need to be faster than that, little Fennec," Theo teased.

Fenris shifted in his seat, leaning forward with narrowed eyes. "Fennec?" he asked, his deep baritone making Theo shiver.

"It's a cute little fox that lives in the desert; they have excellent hearing thanks to their huge ears," Theo explained with a drunken smile.

Fenris' eyes darkened dangerously. "I know what they are," he said evenly, his gaze locked with Theo's. "Their favourite prey happens to be little birds, _Hawke_." His lips twitched into a feral smirk. Theo gulped as he watched Fenris take a long draught of wine, those green eyes never leaving Theo's.

"Are you going to devour me, Fennec?" Theo asked huskily, unable to stop himself under the predatory gaze Fenris was still giving him.

The elf arched a sardonic brow at him as a wicked smirk played at his lips. "Careful, Hawke, that sounded dangerously close to a challenge," he growled out, his voice sounding like silk gliding over sharp rocks.

Theo's breath hitched and he swallowed thickly. "I'm competitive," he heard himself say even as his heart began to pound in his chest, " _of course_ that was a challenge."

Fenris' eyes burned a dark green, like wild fire flickering ferociously, and Theo couldn't help but sweat under the intensity of that gaze. The wine was making it so that Fenris stood out in vivid colour while everything around him seemed dull and hazy.

"You appear to be sweating again, Hawke," Fenris remarked, his voice deep and thick from the wine.

"Are you going to come and blow in my ear?" Theo asked, his voice barely above a raspy whisper now. Somewhere deep in his alcohol fogged brain there was a part of him screaming at him not to do this, to get out while he still could, but that voice sounded so small compared to the sounds of Theo's ragged breathing and he soon tuned it out.

"Would you give me another shiner if I did?"

"No," Theo breathed.

Fenris moved suddenly, dumping his cards down on the table, and it made Theo jump. His bottle of wine went smashing to the ground, the glass shattering everywhere as the tiles were stained with red.

"Shit," he muttered as he shoved his chair back to pick up the glass from the ground.

Fenris was suddenly right next to him and touching his left wrist to stop him. Neither of them were wearing their gloves or gauntlets, and Theo hissed in a breath through his teeth at the hot contact of skin on skin.

"Leave it," Fenris rasped, his breath hot against Theo's ear, "it goes well with the one I threw at the wall earlier." Theo stood back up, finding himself just inches away from Fenris, his breath suddenly very ragged as Fenris' fingers remained against his skin.

The urge to kiss him was there again and before Theo could stop himself, he was leaning in, feeling their panted breath mingling, his eyes drifting closed. That grip on his wrist tightened slightly but it was enough; enough to remind him of Tanner, and how he had always enjoyed playfully pinning Theo's arms above his head when they made love. His eyes flew back open and he jerked away from Fenris. That voice in his head that had been screaming at him to leave earlier was now back full force, bellowing in his ear to get out.

"I'm sorry," Theo stuttered out. "I have to go."

"Hawke?"

Theo didn't think he had ever heard Fenris' voice sound so alarmed, or so confused. It made something in his gut clench to hear it as he rushed to the door, not daring to look back at Fenris' face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo! Hopefully Anders is alright--he's kinda an odd combo of Awakening Anders and a romanced DA2 Anders due to his relationship with Neri and the whole not-being-possessed-by-Justice thing. And I am buzzing to have Bela here at long last, I loove her. 
> 
> Sorry about the kind of cliffhanger...I should just do a PSA and say that cliffhangers are kinda my thing and highly likely with this story. Sorry ;) 
> 
> As always, thanks to my beta, Lys for being awesome and please comment you guys! Let me know your thoughts on this one, pleeeease <333 
> 
> Until next time, 
> 
> Chant.


	13. Troubled Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This should really be called The Sacrifices We Make: Unresolved Sexual Tension

Theo awoke screaming, his face wet with his tears.

He buried his head in the pillow and groaned as he tried to get his ragged breath under control. Bethany and Carver rushed in, both of them remaining tentatively in the doorway. He'd barely spoken to them the night before. He'd mentioned managing to convince the Magistrate that monsters had killed the fugitive, before he had collapsed into bed after he fled from Fenris' mansion.

Maker, he still couldn't believe how close he'd actually come to kissing Fenris. What the fuck had he been thinking? He couldn't do that. He was falling for Fenris hard; _too_ hard. It was going to break him if he let things get much further between them.

"Theo?" Bethany said as she knelt down next to him, rubbing his back. He sighed and rolled over to look up at her miserably. She gave him a small sad smile. "What was this one about?" she asked.

"Father," he croaked. "Tanner, the usual." He shuffled into a sitting position and slumped against the wall. Bethany joined him, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as she nuzzled into his side. Theo nodded at his brother as he remained in the doorway, and Carver came to sit on Theo's other side. He rubbed wearily at his face. "I'm such a mess," he muttered.

"You've just had a stressful couple of days," Bethany said. "That horror spell and then the Magistrate. It's not surprising you had nightmares."

"Right, it'd be more surprising if you didn't," Carver said as he shifted awkwardly next to Theo.

"I miss them," Theo said simply.

Bethany squeezed the hand he had draped over her shoulders, clinging onto it tightly. "We all do."

"I think I miss father's laugh the most," Carver said. "That big booming one that always woke us from our sleep in the mornings. I'd give anything to hear it again."

"I miss his stories too," Bethany said. "He always told them so well, had us on the edge of our seats every time."

"He'd rival he dwarf with them, I think," Carver agreed.

"We were all so happy back then," Theo whispered. "Mother especially. I walked in on them in the kitchen once. Mother was laughing hysterically as father stalked toward her with his muddy fingers; she screamed at him, told him not to take another step. He stopped mid-stride and gave her this look and said, ' _I thought you loved all of me, Leandra, every flaw, every imperfection?_ ' She grinned at him and said ' _I do! But you weren't born with grubby fingers!_ ' He chased her around the kitchen after that, both of them laughing hard. When he finally caught her, I remember the look in their eyes, the smiles on their faces as they kissed. That was the morning before… before we went hunting." He took a shaky breath, feeling the tears in his eyes again.

"Oh Theo," Bethany said as she kissed his hand. "It wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it?" he asked, staring ahead, his eyes blurring.

"You barely made it back yourself," she said firmly. "You did everything you could."

Theo closed his eyes and the tears fell.

"He'd be proud, you know," Carver said. "Father, I mean. We're all still together. All still safe… I know I haven't always been the easiest little brother to deal with-" Theo let out a tearful laugh and Carver poked him in the ribs, making him cry out, "but I _do_ appreciate all you've done. It can't be easy trying to fill father's shoes."

Theo gave his brother a watery smile and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug. Carver tensed for a moment before relaxing against his side. "It's not," he said, sighing.

"He did have very big feet," Bethany said, lightening the mood. "I remember trying his boots on once…"

Theo snorted. "You tripped over and bit your tongue. I remember that; there was blood everywhere and you kept spitting it out onto the carpet." He laughed. "Mother was beside herself, although I'm not sure if it was worry over you hurting yourself of if it was because her white carpets were getting stained," he teased. Bethany giggled and elbowed him in the side.

"You know, I still have a scar on the back of my hand from when you shot me," Carver said, smirking as he lifted his right hand. Theo stared down at the mark on the flesh of his brother's thumb, smiling.

"You really shouldn't have challenged me," Theo retorted.

"And you shouldn't have missed! There was a perfectly good apple in my hand."

"That serves you right for holding it in the first place," Theo replied, "and for challenging me when I'd only been practicing with a bow for a month."

"You were so damned cocky, I thought you might have actually been a decent shot."

"I _was_ a damned good shot, just later," Theo said, swallowing a little thickly.

"You had a damned good teacher," Bethany said softly.

Theo smiled sadly. _Tanner_. "I still remember the day I first saw him use that bow of his," Theo said wistfully. "That fox was trying to eat our hens again and nothing I did would stop it clawing at the cages." He could feel his eyes blurring again. "Just as the fox was about to get into the cage this arrow whizzed through the air, right past me and hit the fox between the eyes. I remember turning slowly to look at where it came from and there was Tanner, standing on our fence, grinning smugly." He smiled. "He took my breath away." He sighed, hanging his head, the guilt twisting painfully inside of him.

"He would understand, brother, if you wanted to move on," Carver said cautiously.

"Maybe he would," Theo admitted, "but I can't." He swallowed, letting the silence drag on between them. "I…nearly kissed Fenris last night."

"What?" Bethany said, shifting to better look at him. "What happened?"

"We were drunk and playing a very intense game of snap," he said, smirking at the ridiculousness of it. Bethany smiled. "I don't know. I ended up inches away from him. But then I remembered Tanner and I just… fled."

Bethany sighed. "Maybe you just need to take things slowly."

"Beth…"

"What? You obviously like each other!"

"We were drunk; it doesn't mean much."

"Or it does," Carver said. Theo shot him a glare.

"I just can't do that again, another relationship. I can't let anyone that close."

"Of course you can, you're just being stubborn," Bethany chided gently.

"No, it hurt too much… I can't. You don't know."

"So tell us! Help us understand," Bethany urged.

Theo shook his head, quickly untangling himself from his siblings and pushing to his feet. "No, I can't. I… I'm going for a run," he said hastily as he threw on his jogging bottoms and a shirt.

"Theo," Bethany said, already on her feet.

"I just need to clear my head, Beth. Don't worry," he said to her with a quick glance over his shoulder. "I'll just take my usual route along the Docks, okay?"

"Sure you don't want company?" Carver asked a little awkwardly, also standing as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Theo smiled, shaking his head. "Thanks for the offer, but no. I need to be alone for a bit." He headed for the door. "See you both later."

He broke into a quick jog as he headed down the steps toward the Docks, running from his past, and from his feelings. He knew it was futile; eventually it would all catch up with him. Fenris' words echoed in his head: _there comes a time when you must stop running, when you turn and face the tiger_. But the warrior was a braver man than he; he upped his pace into a sprint.

* * *

 

"I'm telling you; it was the funniest thing I've seen for a long time," Anders said, barely containing his snickering. "They walked in with hoods over their eyes to block out the light – Sigrun had even given one her tinted glasses!" He shook his head, laughing at the image. "They all came and sat down at the table, groaning and rubbing at their temples, complaining that we were all laughing and speaking too loudly."

"Hungover _talking_ darkspawn," Varric deadpanned. "You're pulling my leg, right Blondie?"

"I'm not, I swear!" Anders laughed. "Neri will confirm it; she's basically best friends with the emissary."

Varric narrowed his eyes slightly, obviously trying to figure out if Anders was lying or not. "Shit, what else you got?" Varric said, apparently having decided he believed him. Anders grinned.

"Preferably one about Neri," Isabela purred, licking her lips at him from across the table. "Does she still do that _thing_ with her force magic?" she asked, her eyes hooding.

Anders chuckled into his drink, nodding. "Yes," he said as he held Isabela's smouldering gaze. Her lip quivered as she moaned softly.

"How long until she's here?" she asked, pouting.

Anders shrugged. "Their trip to the Anderfels was supposed to last a couple of months, at least. It's been that already. So, soon, I hope."

"I still can't believe she's coming here," Varric said, shaking his head in disbelief. "The Slayer of the Archdemon!" He grinned.

"You'll be fast friends, Varric; she's a fan of chest hair," he said as he eyed the golden locks on display thanks to the dwarf's opened duster.

Varric chuckled. "Good to know. What else is she into? Come on, Blondie, I need details here if I'm gonna write a book about her."

Anders smiled smugly. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything and everything – and the Commander, the Queen, you must know her too, right?"

"I might," Anders smirked.

"What is with Wardens and secrets?" Varric grumbled.

"You'll need to get a lot more alcohol in me if you want me to spill such things, Varric," Anders said as he swallowed down the rest of his breakfast ale. Yes, that was a thing, a perfectly acceptable thing.

"I'll take that as a challenge," Varric said, smirking.

"I was wondering," Isabela said, her finger idly twisting her long hair. "If Neri's with you – then where's Zevran?"

Anders sighed slightly. Neri's other lover, the one she'd fallen in love with during the Blight, was always a slightly sore topic for Anders. He resented that he hadn't been there for her during the Blight, that he'd been stuck in solitary that year. He shuddered at the memory of that dark, cramped cell and the endless whispering of the demons. He shook his head, clearing those thoughts. He had yet to meet the elf but Neri talked about him enough that he felt like he knew him rather well, perhaps a little too well.

"He left to try to find out who hired the assassin that nearly killed Neri at the royal wedding-"

"Hold up there, Blondie! What assassination attempt? I never heard anything about this."

Anders shrugged. "Some sexy Antivan tried to kill her. It didn't end well for him, and Zevran left to find out who hired him. I was still in the Tower then. It wasn't until I escaped again that I joined the Wardens."

"Again?" Varric asked, frowning a little. "Just how many times have you escaped?"

"That was my seventh," Anders said with a wisp of a smile at his lips.

"Maker's breath," Varric muttered. "How did the Templars keep finding you?"

"Incredibly angry, that's how they found me," Anders deadpanned. The dwarf threw his head back and laughed and Anders grinned. "I made a rope out of bedding that time – climbed down the outside of the Tower until it ran out. I was in rather a rush to get to Neri." He smiled, remembering how foolish and dangerous that escape had been thanks to his rashness. "I had to jump the rest of the way down. Hit the water hard but didn't die."

Varric's brow was arched in curiosity and he had a quill in hand as it frantically scribbled across parchment. "And the other times?"

Anders sucked in a deep breath and leant back in his chair, stretching his long legs out under the table. "Well, my first was as simple as jumping into the lake when they took us out for our weekly session of exercise. The Templars couldn't jump in after me in their plate." He smiled. "I was free for a week before they tracked me down." Varric snorted in amusement. "After that the apprentices were no longer taken outside for exercise, so I had to get more inventive.

"Some Templars were easy to trick or charm so that worked for a while, up until they labelled me a trouble maker and watched me more carefully. One time, I hid in a supply crate that was leaving the Tower for Denerim. That was really uncomfortable. Oh, and I put some smoke bombs in one of the store rooms once and barricaded the door – the Templars were in such a panic thinking there was a fire that I walked right out of the Tower." He smiled wistfully.

"The only time I stopped escaping was when I was with a… friend, Karl. He was assigned to be my mentor; he taught me everything I know about spirit healing. But then he was sent here, to Kirkwall," he said sourly, "and despite Neri trying to stop me from escaping, I carried on doing it."

There was a bitter taste in his mouth as he stopped telling his story, and he frowned. He had never willingly admitted how in love with Karl he had been; it was only once the older mage was gone that he had realised it. Neri had been an outlet after that, someone he could lose himself in, someone who could help him forget the pain of losing Karl. He'd developed feelings for her too but he had pushed them down – run from them, even though she always begged him not to escape again. It was only when he was in solitary and found out just what had been happening to Neri that he realised how much she loved him and just how far he had buried his own similar feelings in an attempt to not be hurt again.

"How about that second drink, Varric?" Anders asked, his mood darkening. The dwarf nodded, giving him a sympathetic smile as he got up and headed to the bar.

"You know tiger, that sexy tortured look suits you," Isabela murmured as her gaze lingered on his face, and lips.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said with a slight smirk.

"Blondie, Rivaini!" Varric said from the doorway a few moments later. "Let me introduce you to the twins; this is Bethany and Carver Hawke."

Anders perked up at that – he was _certain_ Neri had mentioned that the Theo fellow who had helped her during the Blight had two siblings, and those names _did_ ring a bell. The girl was pretty, if a little innocent looking with her big brown doe eyes. He felt drawn to her, and if he was remembering correctly, she was a mage, an apostate. She'd healed Neri and had given her some new robes, some new very _short_ robes back during the Blight. The brother was tall and broad with bright blue eyes and Anders couldn't help but run his eyes over the impressive muscles of his arms.

" _Ooohh_ twins," Isabela cooed, her eyes hooding again. "I _like_ twins." She gave them a sultry smile. "And your brother is the one with the gorgeous thighs, right?"

Both siblings rolled their eyes and Bethany smiled a little despairingly. "Yes, that's him."

"You mean Theo?" Anders asked, getting both siblings' attention.

"How do you know that?" Carver asked. "Most people just call him Hawke."

"That would be because you helped his girlfriend during the Blight," Varric said with a wicked smirk as he came to sit down at the table again, handing Anders his drink. The twins frowned as they took seats too.

"You mean…" Bethany said, puzzling it over.

"Neri?" Carver finished, his eyes widening slightly. "You're dating the slayer of the Archdemon!?"

Anders grinned as he took a sip from his drink.

"This is Anders," Varric said, his eyes positively gleaming. "He's a Grey Warden too, and get this," he said, pausing for dramatic effect which had both of the twins staring at him expectantly. "He's waiting for Neri to come _here_ to Kirkwall."

Anders couldn't help but laugh at the excited squeal Bethany let out and the almost giddy way in which she bobbed up and down in her seat. Carver's reaction was milder, masked, but Anders still caught the smile that tugged at his lips and the way his eyes sparkled with excitement. Apparently Neri had left as much of an impression on all of them as they had on her in the short time in which they had known each other-although that wasn't really surprising; Neri was rather unforgettable.

"So she's really coming here? When?" Bethany was asking excitedly, still bouncing in her seat.

"Well aren't you just adorable," Isabela purred as her eyes raked up Bethany's slim frame. The twin blushed and a coy little smile tugged up her lips.

"I don't know when she'll be here," Anders answered. "But with any luck it won't be too long."

"And you have me to thank for introducing you all to Anders here," Bela said. "I'm Isabela, by the way, seeing as Varric forgot to introduce me." The dwarf smiled, shrugging as he sipped from his ale. Both of the twins smiled at Isabela.

"It's very nice to meet you," Bethany said sweetly.

"How do you two know each other then?" Carver asked.

Anders snorted in amusement. " _Know_ is probably too strong of a word."

Isabela gave him a lascivious smile. "There's no better way to get to know someone than sex, tiger," she retorted huskily. Carver cleared his throat to Anders' right, his cheeks flushing, and Anders laughed. Bethany just gave them both a surprised little smile, her brows arched dramatically.

"While true, it _has_ been a while," Anders teased.

Isabela pouted. "You're the one holding out on me."

"How is she?" Bethany asked, and both Isabela and Anders arched a brow at her; Bethany realised what she had said and blushed furiously. "I didn't mean Isabela! I meant Neri, how is Neri," she rushed out quickly, getting more flustered by the second.

" _Really_ good," Isabela purred. "She does this thing with her force magic where she-"

Bethany squeaked in shock, covering her ears.

"You've had sex with the slayer of the Archdemon?" Carver asked the pirate incredulously.

Isabela rolled her eyes and pushed her tits out a bit. "Is that so hard to believe, pup?" she asked a little indignantly.

Carver stuttered a bit. "Well, no but – hey, I'm not a _pup_."

"Nice save, Junior," Varric chuckled.

"To answer your question, Bethany," Anders said, sympathising with the poor blushing girl, "Neri's been in the Anderfels for the past few months – so I don't actually know how she is."

"Oh, how do you know she'll be coming here then?"

Anders sighed. "Because coming here wasn't really my choice." She frowned and he continued. "The Circle Tower in Ferelden, Kinloch Hold, I'm certain you know of it," he said with a scowl, "it was blown up a few days ago."

"What?" Bethany asked, her face paling.

"Yeah, hold on a minute there, Blondie, _what_? I've not heard about this."

Anders smirked at the dwarf. "Then someone needs to sort out their information network," he teased, making Varric scowl. "I came straight here, more or less; got the first ship out of Amaranthine. So it's not really surprising you haven't heard the news just yet."

"All of those mages…" Bethany trailed off as she sank lower into her seat, scowling.

"What happened?" Carver asked.

"Yeah, and be specific," Varric said.

Anders felt the anger bubble to the surface again. "Some Templars weren't pleased with the Circle being given autonomy by the Crown, so they blew it up," he said with more nonchalance than he was feeling. "They were going to frame me – a Warden—for it, claiming that I was trying to move things along and get all the mages into the new Circle quicker." He shrugged. "They planned on making me Tranquil just so I would confess it all to the Revered Mother in Denerim."

His words were met with various gasps and curses and Anders stared into his drink before tossing it back. Too many good mages had died, and all because the Templars wanted to keep their precious control, their power, over mages.

"How did you get out of that mess?" Varric asked, drawing him out of his dark thoughts.

"Oh. My friend Solona and the Knight Commander saved me, and then two Wardens came to _their_ rescue. It was all very dramatic. And I set the bitch responsible for the whole thing on fire." Varric let out a low whistle. "I got sent here for 'safe keeping'," Anders snorted derisively with a shake of his head.

"At least you're still under the Warden's protection," Bethany said with a small smile. "The Templars won't be able to touch you."

"I'm not sure I would have come here otherwise," he admitted, giving Bethany a significant look; she blushed and hung her head. He assumed Varric knew she was a mage, but he wasn't about to out her just in case.

"Alright Blondie, we all want to hear more stories, so get drinking," Varric said as he pushed yet another flagon over toward Anders; he laughed in response but took the flagon anyway.

* * *

 

Fenris slept very little. Usually that would not leave him feeling tired but today he felt exhausted. He had been up most of the night worrying over his evening with Hawke. Things had started pleasantly. Fenris had thrown a bottle of aggregio against the wall – one of Danarius' favourite wines – before Hawke had commented about not sharing it first. Then they had rummaged around in the mansion's basement looking for more wine, until they found a couple of bottles of a rich red.

Hawke had wanted a distraction, some way to pass the time, and that was how their casual conversation had turned into a game of snap. But both of them had become drunk rather quickly and Fenris had found himself flirting back with Hawke, wanting him. He had never wanted someone quite like that. He knew that the alcohol could be blamed at least in part, but that touch—bare skin against bare skin – and the way their breath had mingled…it had lit a spark in him, deep down. It was something Fenris never thought he'd experience. He didn't understand it, didn't know what to do with it; it was just there.

So he had been up all night replaying the evening over and over in his head trying to understand why Hawke had fled. He was usually so good at reading people, at reading Hawke – had he overstepped? There had been panic on Hawke's face as he pulled away, so much so that Fenris had been stunned by it, especially as Hawke had been the one to lean in first.

Time and time again, Hawke had said his flirting was meaningless; perhaps the alcohol had made him go further than he was comfortable with. If so, it would be easier to pretend it had never happened, to leave it as a drunken mistake. But he knew not knowing for certain would eat away at him. At the very least, he wanted to know that things between them were well. Hawke was one of the few people he found himself trusting in this city; he did not want that ruined, not if he could help it.

He was out the door before he could finish that thought.

It was only as he arrived at Hawke's house that Fenris stopped to think about what he might say. He paced at the bottom of the steps that led up to Hawke's home, scowling. An apology seemed the best course of action; from there he could see what Hawke had to say.

"Fenris?" Hawke's voice suddenly sounded from behind him.

Fenris spun, startled, and the breath was knocked out of him at the sight of Hawke dripping with sweat. His hair had been slicked back and his white shirt was almost transparent as it clung to the muscles of his chest and stomach. Fenris blinked as he realised Hawke wasn't wearing his usual armour either.

"Where are your pteruges?" he asked, still staring dumbly at Hawke.

Hawke blinked. "My what?"

"Your… armoured leather _thing_."

"Oh! Is that what it's called?" He grinned. "I _knew_ it wasn't a skirt," he muttered victoriously.

Fenris didn't bother informing him that pteruges _meant_ decorative skirt in Tevene.

Hawke wiped his face with his father's scarf, dabbing at the sweat that clung to his forehead. He glanced at Fenris once done, giving him a questioning look. "I suppose we should talk?" Hawke asked; Fenris nodded, and the rogue began to climb the steps to his house.

Fenris swallowed thickly. "I came to apologise."

"What?" Hawke asked as turned on the steps, frowning slightly as he loomed over Fenris, who still stood at the bottom of the steps.

Fenris shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I clearly did something wrong, something to upset you. Whatever it was, I apologise."

Hawke was still frowning as he dropped down two steps and then sat so those amber eyes of his were gazing up at Fenris' face. The rogue ran a hand roughly through his sweat licked hair, sighing.

"I've not… It's been a while since I let myself get that close to someone," Hawke admitted. "But I was drunk so of course I couldn't stop myself." He shook his head, something bitter flashing across his face. "It was a me thing, not a you thing, okay? You did nothing wrong and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable; I noticed you tense when I leaned in to kiss you."

Fenris swallowed a little thickly at the guilt in Hawke's eyes as they stared up at him. "I am not used to such…attentions," he admitted.

Hawke nodded. "I figured."

"That does not mean they were unwelcome, however," Fenris said quietly.

Hawke hissed in a breath and then let it out in a rush. "Dangerous information, Fennec," he said with a smirk. The rogue pushed to his feet. "I still stand by what I've said in the past, about me being a flirt."

Fenris gave him a curt nod, some small part of him disappointed perhaps that that's all it would ever be between them.

"Seeing as you're here," Theo said, watching the elf carefully, "would you like some tea and cake? Mother's been worry baking again."

"You just got back from a run, I do not wish to bother you further," Fenris said.

"It takes five minutes to have a wash," Theo said. "Seriously, you're more than welcome to come inside me-" Theo's eyes went wide and so did Fenris', both of them pausing as they stared at one another. "-WITH! You can come inside _with_ me!" Theo exclaimed.

Theo could feel the blush spreading up his face. Oh Maker, that was bad. Fuck. _Way to put your foot in your mouth_ , he scolded himself. "Did I mention we have cake? It's really very good fruit cake. I think I might go eat the whole thing in one go, choking to death sounds preferable to this right now." He turned and walked up the steps, utterly embarrassed.

"I'll… join you," Fenris said carefully, his tone giving nothing away. Theo smiled in relief at the elf and unlocked the door to his house; Fenris followed him in and shut the door behind them.

Theo headed through to the kitchen, noticing the note left on the table. "Hey, could you tell me what that says?" he asked, his voice still sounding a bit gruff from embarrassment, as he nodded at the table and then ducked into the kitchen to put the kettle on. There was silence and Theo frowned. He poked his head out of the door and found Fenris staring down at the note, holding it between those clawed gauntlets of his. "Fenris?"

The elf looked up at him blankly. "I can't-"

And Theo suddenly felt like the world's biggest ass. "You can't read," he said as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Of course you can't; why would they teach a slave something useful like that?" He shook his head bitterly. "I'm so sorry, it didn't even cross my mind until now."

"It's not something that comes up in conversation much," Fenris said with a shrug. He held out the note toward him and Theo took it with a nod.

"It's from my siblings," he said as he skimmed the note. "They went to The Hanged Man expecting me to be there. _Charming_."

"Why would they expect such a thing?"

"Probably because of the nightmare I had last night," Theo said as casually as he could; Fenris still frowned however. "Not that I was surprised to have one at all."

"Are your nightmares quite common, then?"

"They can be." He went to pull the kettle off of the fire and poured them both some tea. He brought that and the cake through to the table and nodded for Fenris to sit. "Have you ever thought about learning to read and write?" he asked, fancying a change in subject. He didn't want to talk about Tanner with Fenris; it was too personal, too intimate, and seeing as he needed to put some distance between Fenris and himself it just wasn't appropriate.

The elf shrugged. "I hadn't considered it."

"It's not too late, you know."

"Isn't it?"

The door suddenly opened and Theo's mother entered, smiling; her eyes widened as she spotted Fenris sitting at the table with him and she got this knowing look on her face that made Theo want to hide under the table. "Hello darling!" she said cheerfully. "Long run? You look awfully red," she said with a teasing smirk.

He groaned. "Yes, I got a bit flustered-it's warm out," he said, not looking at her. She hummed, definitely not buying that at all. "Fenris decided to pop by."

"Hello Fenris," his mother said with a big smile. "I trust you are well?"

Fenris dipped his head to her. "I am, and yourself?"

"I'm fine, thank you." She placed some shopping down on the desk and then came over to them. "What have you boys been discussing?" she asked, her eyes still sparkling mischievously.

This really was the last thing he needed.

"Oh, not much. I was actually just about to have a quick wash, because of my _run_ ," he added, narrowing his eyes at his mother when she began to smirk. "I won't be a moment," he said to Fenris as he pushed up from his seat.

He felt guilty leaving Fenris alone with his mother but he _did_ need to wash and change. He peeled himself out of his sweaty clothes and quickly scrubbed himself down with some water. He still hadn't had time to trim his beard or cut his hair; he'd have to do it later. Theo grabbed some fresh clothes – his leather leggings and a loose navy shirt. He threw his belt around his waist, enjoying the comforting weight of his daggers and knives, and then slipped back out to the main room.

His mother smiled at him as he came back, and Theo felt Fenris' gaze linger on him a little longer than might have been necessary. "I was just telling Fenris the latest news. Apparently there's a Grey Warden in town," she said with a smile.

"Really?" Theo asked. "I bet Varric's all over that. We need maps for the expedition still."

"Perhaps you should go see him then, dear."

Theo glanced at his mother, noting the way she casually stirred her tea, avoiding his gaze. "Are you kicking me out?" he asked with a frown.

"Of course not!" she said a little impishly. "I just have friends coming over is all. I've gotten so used to you being out at all times of the day, I thought I'd have the neighbours over for once."

Theo snorted, smiling. "Alright, we'll get out of your hair. The twins are at The Hanged Man anyway." He glanced to Fenris. "Fancy joining me?" Fenris shrugged as he got to his feet. "I'll see you later mother, and enjoy your lunch with the ladies."

She smiled. "You two have fun," she said, that smirk back at her lips as she headed into the kitchen.

"You're staying in that?" Fenris asked quietly, glancing down at Theo's garb.

"Yeah…" He narrowed his eyes at the elf. "Why?"

"No reason." Fenris opened the door and Theo followed after him.

"No come on, why?"

Fenris reached the bottom of the steps, his face impossible to read. "They are just very… tight."

Theo chortled as he pulled the door to and locked it, relieved that things had seemingly returned to normal between him and Fenris. "Shows off my ass, but I guess you already noticed that," he said with a wink as he walked down the steps. "Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to Lys, for the beta <33 
> 
> Please keep the comments coming guys, you have no idea how much they motivate me to keep writing despite how huge and daunting this fic is. 
> 
> Hope you liked the chapter, and I shall see you all next week for the first chapter to _really_ give this fic its M rating ;)


	14. Troubled Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is _semi_ not safe for work. ;) And a day late, cause I suckkkk. Sorry! 
> 
> Thank you guys for all the comments lately though! You seriously do keep me going with this, so thank you so much.

The Hanged Man was busier than it usually was during the middle of the day. It had just started to rain as Fenris and Theo headed to the tavern, and they had jogged the final part of it, thankfully avoiding getting too wet. Although, Theo couldn't help but wonder what Fenris would look like with soaking wet hair sticking to his face with rivulets of water pouring over his skin… He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. For someone who had just decided he needed to distance himself from Fenris, he wasn't doing a very good job of that. Corff nodded to him upon entering, pointing him in the direction of Varric's suite, and they headed up there together.

"No, no, it's like sex; roll your hips," a masculine voice was saying as they reached the top of the stairs.

"Why didn't you just say that to begin with?" a feminine voice replied.

"Maybe he was trying to protect Sunshine's innocence. I can see there's no hope of that now though."

Theo entered the room and stared at the scene before him. There was a dark skinned woman grinding her hips against a very red looking Bethany.

"That's it. Now grab her hair and-"

"There will be no grabbing of _any_ part of my sister!" Theo interrupted just before the smirking woman lifted a gloved hand toward Bethany. That woman pouted instead, and several sets of eyes turned to face him. Bethany's were wide and quickly darted away, embarrassed. Carver's actually looked relieved, which must have been a first. There were a pair of amber eyes watching him from behind Carver – hooded and dark. And then there were Varric's, which were sparkling with mirth as always.

"Hawke! Elf!" Varric said with raised arms and a broad grin. "The woman thrusting her hips toward Sunshine is Isabela, Pirate Queen of the Eastern Seas." He glanced at her. "We still using that title for you? Seems a bit pretentious given that you don't have a ship anymore, Rivaini."

Isabela rolled her eyes, scoffing. "So it rings a bit hollow. It doesn't mean it isn't _true_. I just happen to be here instead of out _there_." The woman turned her sparkling brown eyes on Theo and Fenris. "A pleasure to meet you both," she said with a sultry smile and a small bow.

Theo had to admit, she was beautiful. Her hair fell around her shoulders in long chestnut waves, held back by a thick blue bandana. Her golden jewellery would have looked tacky on anyone else, but she somehow made it look sexy. He couldn't help but notice how little she was wearing, however, or the fact that what she did have on was barely containing all of her… assets. Carver had apparently also noticed that little detail as the pirate bowed, his eyes going wide and a blush spreading up his cheeks.

"And you, I think," Theo said with a small nod and slightly narrowed eyes. He'd never met a pirate before. Weren't they all supposed to have eye patches and peg legs?

"And this is Anders," Varric said, motioning to the tall blond now on his feet and heading toward Theo with a roguish smile. Theo's gaze wandered up the man's slim frame. He was attractive. Very attractive. His blond hair was half down, with strands falling around his face, curling slightly at the edges. His pale skin had a slight flush to it, warming his cheeks. And his amber eyes were dark as burning coals as they raked up Theo's body. It was the Warden armour that caught Theo's attention most however, despite the man's good looks.

"You're a Warden," Theo said, just as the man came to a stop in front of him.

"I am," the blond said with a smirk.

"He is," Varric confirmed, sounding rather smug.

"You found him quick, Varric," Theo said with a brief glance to the dwarf.

"Actually, _I_ found him," Isabela said. "You can thank me later. " She winked as she sat back down in her chair and grabbed a bottle of wine in the process.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Anders said, smiling. They shook hands in greeting and Theo couldn't stop the shiver that ran down his spine as the man's warm touch flooded through him. "Neri told me quite a bit about you."

"The Slayer of the Archdemon?" Fenris asked. Theo had actually forgotten Fenris was even at his side. The elf could be so silent sometimes. That made him feel bad but Theo _was_ rather distracted by the dark eyes boring into him and making him sweat again. Anders nodded at Fenris, his gaze quickly flicking over Fenris' form with a smirk before turning back to Theo.

"Shame your thighs are covered up today though," Anders said, his smirk widening as he glanced down at Theo's leather clad legs.

Theo was still processing everything. This man knew Neri; knew her well enough for her to mention Theo, his thighs, and his family. The fact that she had even spoken to anyone about them warmed his heart. Maker knew mother had told _everyone_ that they escaped Lothering with the Slayer. Not that anyone ever believed them. Some days even he couldn't believe it. Everything had happened so fast during the Blight. It was such a blur. Naturally, with his brain so preoccupied with thoughts of Neri, all that came out of his mouth was a flirtatious reply.

"I thought I'd show off my ass today," he heard himself say.

Theo never had been able to stop himself from flirting. He really should have learnt to control himself by now – it was clearly more trouble than he needed if things with Fenris were anything to go by. But it was the one part of him he couldn't close off completely. He had locked away his heart, and didn't allow himself to trust easily. But he had always been a flirt. That part of him hadn't died with Tanner; if anything, it had grown. He used flirting as a mask, most of the time. It kept people at arm's length, kept things fun but never too personal. And it allowed him to feel human again, even if it was only fleeting. But that feeling was addicting, and dangerous. He felt normal around Fenris and he had come far too close to kissing him. And now he had yet another man giving him bedroom eyes and there was a little flutter in Theo's chest, welcoming it.

Anders grinned in response but it was the pirate who replied. "Good choice," she purred. Carver groaned as his face tried to burrow into his hands.

"So, you know Neri?" Theo asked as he headed into the room. He took a seat next to his brother and Fenris sat down next to the pirate, much to her apparent pleasure.

"I like your tattoos," she said as she leaned closer to Fenris.

"They are not tattoos," Fenris practically grunted in reply.

"No touching, Rivaini," Varric warned. The pirate huffed as she sat back in her seat.

"We grew up together in the Tower," Anders said in explanation, drawing Theo's attention.

"You're a mage," Fenris said, somehow making it sound like both a comment and an accusation.

Theo glanced worriedly at him. Fenris' shoulders had stiffened and his fists were clenched. The glare he levelled at Anders was so cold Theo could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He hadn't forgotten about Fenris'… distaste for mages. But since the Bone Pit, it hadn't really come up in conversation much. Fenris watched Bethany, closely, but seemed to have decided she wasn't going to start slitting her wrists at any moment. Now they would have to go through all of that again with _another_ mage, one that happened to be part of an order than had a reputation for doing whatever was necessary to stop the darkspawn. _Please don't be a blood mage_ , Theo thought, wincing slightly; nobody wanted to see Fenris' lyrium-fist inside of Anders. Although the images that brought to Theo's mind were not all _entirely_ unpleasant.

"That's right," Anders replied. "You know, you're looking rather tense. Need a massage? I'm _very_ good with my hands," the mage said with a charming smile.

Yep. Theo was going to have to explain to Neri why one of her Wardens died a death via lyrium-fisting. Fenris' clenched fists tightened further and Theo leant forward in his seat, clearing his throat.

"So, now you're a Warden with Neri?" Theo asked the mage.

Anders looked like he wanted to continue his little chat with Fenris but turned instead to look at Theo. "We work together, very closely," he replied, his amber eyes sparkling playfully.

Isabela snorted into her bottle. "They're fucking," she explained.

"You're fucking the Slayer of the Archdemon?" Theo asked, blinking rapidly.

"Jealous?" Anders asked, and that damned smirk was back at his lips. Theo swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly feeling very dry.

"I am," Isabela muttered with a pout.

"Shouldn't we be talking about the Deep Roads?" Carver asked even as he tried not to stare at Isabela too much—he wasn't fooling anyone, however.

"Yes," Bethany said. "We should."

"The Deep Roads?" Anders asked, now frowning. "What do you want with the Blighted Deep Roads?"

"We're leading an expedition down there," Varric answered. Everyone was looking at Anders rather expectantly. Having a Warden on their side could make things a whole lot safer, but Anders looked less than impressed by the idea.

"And you want me to go with you?" Anders asked, his voice pitched a little higher in incredulity.

"Well, you _are_ a Warden…" Varric said. "But we'd settle for some maps of the depths in this area."

"The last time I went to the Deep Roads I lost my eyebrows," Anders complained. "They took weeks to grow back properly. Neri had to pencil them in for me." Varric snorted at that but when met with a very serious glare from Anders he stopped his laughter. "She drew a mono-brow one day and then put a tiny barrier over it so I couldn't wash it off. It wasn't funny."

"Whatever you say, Blondie," Varric said, wheezing as he tried to contain his laughter.

"Why would you even _want_ to go down there?" Anders asked.

"We need the money," Bethany said. "So we can buy back our estate."

"Right," Anders said in realisation. "You were supposed to be nobles." He took a long pull of his drink and then placed it back down on the table, both his hands cupped around it. "I don't have maps. But… Neri might, or could get some."

Varric nodded, smiling. "So we just have to wait until she arrives and then-"

"Wait, _what?_ " Theo blurted.

"Oooh right, you don't know," Varric said, chuckling.

"Theo, she's coming here!" Bethany squealed excitedly.

"What! Why? When?"

"She's coming here to collect Anders," Carver explained.

"I'm not lost property!"

Bethany giggled. "We don't know when she'll get here, but she's coming! We'll see her again."

Theo couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. Even Carver was smiling. Fenris was the only one whose expression was grim, although it was masked well as most of his expressions usually were. He was staring down at the table, his fists clenched so tight Theo was certain he would cut himself. Having three mages here was going to be trouble, he could just tell.

"Swap seats with me, pup," Isabela was suddenly saying, cutting into the excited babbling that Varric and Bethany had fallen into. "I want to be next to the men."

"Of course you – hang on, I'm a man too!" Carver protested.

"Sure, but you're not nearly as fun as those two. Now scoot."

Carver was grumbling under his breath, but he got out of his seat all the same and went to sit between his sister and Fenris while the pirate plonked herself between Anders and Theo. Isabela didn't waste a moment in getting comfy as she draped an arm over Theo's shoulder and began running her fingers listlessly through his beard. He shivered at the contact as those fingers crawled up into his hair, kneading his scalp.

"I _really_ like this," Isabela purred against his face as she grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged his head toward her. The aroma of rum and spices assaulted his nose, making his nostrils flare. "It would be great during sex," she said with a smirk. Theo chuckled, remembering his earlier jest to Fenris as to why he kept his hair long.

"Why do you think I keep it this length?" he said with a wink. With Isabela this close to his face he could see her eyes darken, her pupils blowing wide, shrinking the brown of her irises to just a dark thin ring.

"Oh, we are going to get on _very_ well, sweet thing."

Theo smiled even as he couldn't help but steal a glance at Fenris. The elf was watching him through that thick fringe of his. Were his eyes slightly narrowed? Theo couldn't tell because Fenris soon took a long pull of his flagon and then that impassive mask was back over his face and he was listening to something Varric was saying instead.

"Hawke?" the dwarf asked. "You in?" He waved a deck of cards at him and Theo nodded.

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

 

Fenris took another long swallow of wine, trying to drown out the sense of dread coiling around in his gut that the mage had instilled in him. He couldn't explain it. It was not the usual unease or wariness that he experienced around mages, his cautious watchfulness of someone like Bethany; it was deeper than that. The way the mage's amber gaze lingered on him appreciatively with that haughty smirk at his lips made him feel… repulsed. Not that he could explain why.

Their game of Wicked Grace had quickly turned into a game of strip poker, at the pirate's suggestion. Isabela was unable to keep her hands off of Hawke or the mage, and Hawke seemed to be enjoying her company, returning her flirtations and touches. Except for their drunken evening the night prior, Hawke had never been that friendly with Fenris and it further solidified in his mind that Hawke was not interested in him in such ways. Despite that, that odd spark of want still remained. He doubted he was capable of true friendship, let alone anything more. Still, the thought had been… pleasant; for a few short days, he had started to consider such possibilities for himself, foolishly thinking that Hawke might feel similarly. But he was an ex-slave and an elf, of course Hawke wasn't interested. He swallowed down more wine, this time trying to drown out the self-loathing that always seemed to permeate his thoughts.

The pirate sighed heavily as she finished her flagon; she tossed the empty cup down to the table and shoved back from her chair. "Varric, where's your good stuff? Don't you dare hold out on me." She headed over to one of Varric's cabinets and began rummaging through it. "Aha!"

"Damn Rivaini, you've got a nose like a mabari."

Isabela grinned at him as she clutched a bottle of rum. "Or I'm just good at guessing where someone as short as you would hide the good stuff," she teased.

Fenris turned his gaze back to Hawke and found that the mage had scooted over a seat, sitting where Isabela had been so that he was now next to Hawke. The mage's hand was resting on the back of Hawke's chair, his fingers running gentle circles over Hawke's bared shoulder. The rogue and the mage had been losing consistently all night, although the inebriated states they were currently in certainly hadn't helped with that.

Hawke had not been without a drink in his hand the entire evening and was now at the point where he was slurring his words considerably and had lost all of the clothing on his upper body, leaving his toned arms and abs and the hair on his chest visible to all. Hawke was sober enough not to part with his scarf, however, keeping it tied loosely around his neck where it always remained. His hair had been mussed by the pirate, leaving the long slightly wavy strands to fall over the left side of his face, obscuring much of the emotion on his face from the prying eyes of the pirate or the mage who were to his left. Fenris on the other hand, sitting opposite Hawke, had a clear view of every emotion that flashed across the young man's face and could quite clearly see how dark and lust blown the rogue's eyes were, just as they had been the previous night with Fenris. It repulsed him that Hawke could enjoy having the mage leer at him, _touch_ him, and he ground his teeth at the sight.

Theo's mouth had gone dry; the feeling of Anders' soft fingers caressing his shoulder had become one of the few things he could focus on. Was he so starved of affection that a simple touch was so powerful? Anders was right next to him, staring at the side of his face and Theo could feel the sweat forming on his brow despite the fact that he should be freezing with only his leather trousers left on.

"If we lose any more we're gonna be in trouble," Anders said, his voice so soft and yet full of mirth. Theo glanced at him, watching as the mage's eyes flicked deliberately down his body just as a smirk began to tug at his lips. Theo could feel his cock twitch under such a gaze but he couldn't stop the drunken smile or the slurred words that graced his lips.

"Mmm. I'm a little distracted tonight."

Amber eyes locked with his carnelian ones, almost black with desire. "You're not the only one," the mage purred, that never ending smirk still tugging at his lips. Theo wanted to kiss that corner of his mouth, to wipe that look off of his face and replace it with one less arrogant, one more desperate. "I can't believe your thighs are still covered," Anders said playfully and Theo chuckled.

"Neither can I!" Isabela whined as she plonked herself down at Anders' other side. She took a long pull straight from the bottle. When she pulled the bottle away from her plump lips, she suddenly began to grin. "Seeing as you two have lost every single round so far, you need to be punished," she announced wickedly. "So, either strip fully-"

"There is no way I am doing that in front of my siblings!" Theo objected quickly.

"Thank the Maker for that," Carver muttered.

"Play nice Rivaini," Varric laughed. "Poor junior here couldn't survive the envy."

"I could too! There's nothing to be envious about! I'm bigger than him anyway."

"Ugh, please stop talking," Bethany groaned.

"I didn't mean like _that!_ "

" _Or_ ," Isabela said, giving him a roguish smile, "you have to make out with one another."

"Wait, wha-"

Theo's protest was met by searing hot lips sliding forcefully over his opened mouth. A hand was thrust roughly into his hair, the strands fisted almost painfully through those long digits as Theo's head was pressed forward, effectively deepening the kiss as Theo's mouth was pushed flush against Anders'.

Theo froze.

He had been drinking but it wasn't enough for him to forget that his siblings, and _Fenris_ , were watching, nor was it anywhere close to the levels of drunk he usually reached before allowing himself the company of another, whether it be a whore or a willing stranger. But the very fact that he _wasn't_ that sloshed made this kiss so much better. It felt so fucking good to be kissed like this, to have another's hands lost in his long hair, to hear their panted breaths, to feel the heat and feel of those hot wet lips sliding over his and in such vivid detail. His only memories of kissing others these past four years were hazy at best and usually those were just flashes of a memory, pieces. Did it always feel this good when he was with a whore? He doubted it.

He relaxed into the touch and his hands lifted to cup the mage's jaw, his fingers scraping over stubble as he kissed him back. Anders responded with a tongue swipe across Theo's lower lip; it was such a languid lick and Theo moaned, willingly opening his mouth. Anders' tongue dipped into his mouth for a quick taste and Theo immediately met it with his own, letting their tongues tangle together. His hands slid up and over the scratchy stubble of Anders' jaw until they slipped into the softer silky strands of golden hair on Anders' head. He ran them over the man's scalp until he reached the tie which kept it all in place; he pulled at it and the silky tresses came loose, falling gently around Anders' face. He could feel the smile at the mage's lips at that even as Theo continued to slip his hands through those locks, moaning quietly into the mage's mouth.

Anders' tongue surged forward, overwhelming him as the mage suddenly shifted, moving forwards. A leg was lifted over Theo's thighs and then suddenly Anders was straddling him, sitting firmly in his lap and all without breaking their kiss. Theo would have been impressed if his brain hadn't taken that moment to break. Anders was so _hot_. The heat radiating off of him and down through Theo's leather trousers to his legs was almost unbearable; of course it wasn't helped by the heat already pooling at his groin from their heated kiss. Unlike Theo, Anders wasn't wearing any trousers, only his smalls, and he still had a loose shirt on, although it was unbuttoned enough to leave the smattering of golden hair on his chest visible. But given Theo's lack of shirt and his thin leather trousers, he found himself feeling _everything_ with the mage straddling him like this, even more so when Anders decided to rock his hips forward, rubbing his hardening length against Theo's confined semi. He hissed loudly in response, a sound which was wildly inappropriate for his siblings to hear, but again, he didn't care. Anders' hands grabbed thick fistfuls of his hair again and dragged his head back so that his tongue could plunge even deeper into Theo's eager mouth, devouring the grunt he let out at having his hair pulled so roughly.

Theo's hands slipped out of Anders' hair to drag over the man's back instead, fisting his loose shirt, grabbing at it as Anders continued to rock his hips forward, rubbing his hard cock over Theo's with every slow and teasing thrust. Honestly, if Theo's cock hadn't been trapped so tightly by his leathers he probably would have cum by now. Even through his leathers, he could feel how damp Anders' smalls were and that thought alone was enough to make him want to throw the mage back against the table so he could suck sinfully on his cock and lap up the juices spilling from the head. Instead, his hands moved lower to grab almost viciously at the mage's ass, squeezing his cheeks hard enough to leave marks. The rough gasped groan that left Anders' mouth had Theo's cock twitching in delight as he shoved his tongue forward into Anders' mouth, tasting the rich wines the mage had been consuming most of the night.

Theo hadn't been kissed like this for years. He wanted nothing more than to stand up, holding onto Anders as the mage wrapped his legs around Theo's waist so that he could fuck him over the table or against a wall until neither of them could see straight. But that was too far, too much; Anders was going to be sticking around for Maker only knew how long. Not to mention the fact that he was Neri's boyfriend. And there was only one person he really wanted to do any of that with and he was sat opposite right now.

Theo pulled back, gasping and stared up into Anders' darkened eyes, feeling the man's panted breath against his lips, hot and fast.

"That was…" Anders breathed out.

"Yeah…" Theo replied just as breathlessly. He cleared his throat and removed his hands from Anders' ass with a smile. Anders smirked and hopped off of his lap and back into his own seat. And that's when Theo realised Fenris had left.

"Fuck."

"We could, Neri wouldn't mind," Anders replied. "She'd just be jealous she wasn't here to join in."

Theo glanced at the mage, frowning. "No, I meant – wait, really? She wouldn't mind at all?"

Anders shrugged a shoulder. "Doubt it. Not that I… well, as I told Bela, I'd rather wait for Neri anyway."

"Spoil sport," the pirate said with a roll of her eyes.

"Thank the Maker for that," Carver groaned out. His siblings had apparently tried to busy themselves with another card game but if their inflamed cheeks were anything to go by, it hadn't been a very effective distraction.

"Where did Fenris go?" Theo asked with a worried glance at the empty seat next to his brother.

"He went to get another drink," Carver explained.

"He didn't look very happy," Bethany said with a quick glance up at him which made her blush brightly all over again.

Theo nodded, feeling guilty as he stared at the door with a frown. He would go check the bar himself if he wasn't in tight leathers with a very visible stiffy; as it was, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stand, let alone make it down the stairs to go talk to him. But as the minutes ticked on he couldn't help but wonder if Fenris had just up and left instead.

He felt like a right shithead. He'd told Fenris he was a flirt, implying once more that it was nothing more than that, and yet he had just gone and snogged the hell out of Anders, right in front of him. Bollocks. Fenris had probably been repulsed by the sight of him kissing a mage. He ran a hand through his hair, scowling at the door. He would need to apologise tomorrow, maybe with cake. A lot of cake.

"Aw… you're blushing! Why? How many lovers have you had?" he heard Isabela suddenly ask and he turned his scowl on the pirate instead who was now sitting on the corner of the table next to Bethany with a tumbler of whisky in her hand.

"I-I never-"

"You're a virgin!?" Isabela cried and Theo's eyes went wide. The pirate glared at him. "Hawke, you've been holding out on the poor girl! Get her a night at the Blooming Rose. On me!" Theo stared, stunned at the pirate, wondering how the fuck a topic like this even came up.

"That's, um, very generous," Bethany said shyly.

"I'm a giver," Isabela shrugged.

"Aren't pirates supposed to be takers?" Theo commented with narrowed eyes.

"Well, I mean, if you want me to I will," Isabela said, smirking.

"No! That's not what I meant!"

"I've never thought about being with a woman," Bethany said to the pirate, "in bed."

"Maybe you should. You see, sweetness, men are only good for one thing. Women are good for six."

"Six? Which six?"

"Isabela!" Theo and Carver hissed in unison, and the pirate laughed loudly.

"Just… think about it," the pirate said with a wink as she hopped off of the table and sat herself back down at Anders' side. Theo groaned and quickly lifted his flagon to his lips. This was going to be a long evening, he could just tell. And he was going to be stuck here until his siblings wanted to leave because there was no way he was leaving them alone with Isabela without him present. Fenris still hadn't returned and Theo swallowed a few long pulls of his drink, trying not to think about it too much. He would talk to the elf tomorrow, make sure things were okay; it would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch, my heart. Poor Fen. *whacks Theo* My love for Handers leaked right into Theo in this one, sorrrryy. Was hot though, right? *swoons a bit* Ahem. I will get these two babies talking properly soon so Theo and Fen have less BS happening between them but for now, Theo remains self-destructive and Fen remains self-hating. *shakes head at the silly babies* 
> 
> Also, there's a reason Fen is so repulsed by Anders, and it has to do with his pre-ritual life... So, yeah, he's not going to be getting on well with Anders in these early chapters despite Anders not being joined with Justie. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Lys, my beta.
> 
> And I hope to see you all next week for a made up quest XD.


	15. Puedam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo lovelies. This one's also a bit NSFW. Less so than the last one though ;)   
> Thanks for all the support/love guys. Really helps with the motivation to hear from you guys.   
> Hope you like this one, it's not an in-game quest, I made it up myself because I fancied a fun one.   
> Anyway, enjoy, and I shall see you all next time! 
> 
> <33

Anders peeled his face off of the sticky wooden floorboards with a groan. Apparently he had been too drunk to reach his bed the night before. _Wonderful_. He rubbed at his face, wiping away the dribble from his chin with a crinkle of his nose.

He hadn't gotten that drunk for a long while. But with everything that had happened in Ferelden with the Tower… and with Neri still not at his side, getting black out drunk had seemed an excellent use of his time here in Kirkwall. _If Justice were still around, he'd be so proud_ , he thought sarcastically. He let out a glow of healing magic across his head, lessening his headache considerably, before attempting to move.

He sat up slowly and sighed; he was still just in his smalls and shirt. Most of his clothes were still in Varric's suite, hopefully. That was all he had, after all. He'd be rather screwed if his stuff had been nicked. And he doubted that the people of Lowtown would appreciate him going shopping with his arse on display, lovely though the view might be.

Despite the pain he was in and the lack of clothing, it had been an enjoyable night. That drunken snog with Hawke in particular stood out in his mind. Maker, he loved kissing men, feeling all that hard muscle below him and the unmistakable feel of a hard cock straining against the confines of their trousers. And when those big calloused hands had grabbed at his ass… He groaned and shoved to his feet. He understood fully now why Neri had liked Hawke so much. The man was sexy as sin. Those amber eyes of his burning like a fire, the thick and messy hair that was so perfect to grab, his hot mouth, the feel of that soft beard against Anders' face… _Fuck_. They needed to get him and Bela into bed the moment Neri was here or he was going to be driven insane with unanswered questions.

His stomach grumbled loudly as he stretched. He wasn't sure what time it was, but given how hungry he was it was probably at least mid-morning. He poked his head out of his door to check for anyone out in the corridor, before going across the hall to Varric's suite. The door, thankfully, was open, and Varric was inside, sitting at his desk.

"Your stuff's over there, Blondie," the dwarf said without even turning around to see that it was him.

"How did you-"

"Writer's intuition," he replied with a smirk as he turned to face him. Anders frowned as he shrugged on his leggings and armour. "I heard your door open," Varric fully explained. "That one's always had a distinct creak to it."

Anders smiled. "Thank you for looking after my things."

"That all you got?" the dwarf asked with a glance at Anders' measly possessions.

"Yes. I should probably go shopping…"

"Well, don't look at me; Rivaini's the one into shit like that."

"Shopping with Isabela? Ha! I'd end up with six different types of hat."

Varric grinned. "For a woman who loves to shop, she sure doesn't wear much, and the lack of a pirate hat is just insulting."

"Yes, how _ever_ will you write her into your stories as a pirate queen extraordinaire when she doesn't even have a hat?" Anders asked with a wry smile.

"Exactly!" He shook his head, sighing. "So, what you doing today, Blondie?"

"No clue. I guess I'll see what you're all doing? And maybe buy some new clothes while I'm at it."

"Well, I usually wait on Hawke to see what he has planned, but I doubt he'll be up for a while; he was pretty sloshed last night."

"Mm," Anders hummed as he poured himself some juice from a large jug on Varric's counter.

"That snog was really something, huh Blondie?" Varric asked, and Anders didn't even have to look at the dwarf to know his eyes would be sparkling mischievously. Varric was the most charming dwarf he had ever met, not that it was difficult to be more charming than Oghren – and although Sigrun was cute, _charm_ wasn't really her forte. And Anders had quickly learned that Varric would do anything if he thought it would make a good story or get him rich. Not a bad way to live, in truth, but Anders knew that him bringing up the kiss was just going to end up adding fodder to his stories and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"It was definitely something…" he said evasively as he took a seat at the table and propped his long legs up on the chair next to him. A change in topic was definitely in order as a smirk spread across the dwarf's lips, clearly sensing a story. "So, you're all really going to the Deep Roads?" he asked.

The dwarf's smirk didn't drop away but Varric did put his quill down and shift in his seat to face Anders. "Sure are."

Anders frowned at that. "You realise it's dangerous, right? There's not just darkspawn down there but golems – sometimes those are on fire by the way, that's how I lost my eyebrows – shades, demons, skeletons, giant venomous spiders…"

"But there's _gold_."

"You _think_. How do you know there is? I certainly never saw great big piles of gold just lying around down there."

"There are stories of a dragon hoarding a giant stash of gold and even older tales of an ancient thaig left forgotten over the ages, untouched."

"But those are just rumours."

Varric smiled. "Gather enough rumours, Blondie, and eventually you find the truth that started it all."

"If you say so."

Varric hopped off of his chair and came to stand next to Anders; those copper eyes of his looked rather pouty all of a sudden. "You know… we really could use your help down there."

"I already I told you, I hate the Deep Roads," Anders mumbled. He took another sip of his flagon and swallowed thickly. "Besides, there's no way I want Neri going in them." Not after the last time, and not since finding out what happens to women in the Deep Roads if the darkspawn got a hold of them.

"Oh come on! She's the slayer of the Archdemon! And aren't you supposed to be some hot shot healer? You could save lives by coming with us." Varric was definitely batting his lashes at him now.

"More would be saved if you just didn't go," Anders grumped.

"Hawke needs the gold for Sunshine, to keep her safe. Right now she's vulnerable. The Templars could come and snatch her up any day."

"Don't say that."

"It's true though."

He folded his arms over his chest and frowned at the dwarf. "You're just trying to guilt trip me."

"Is it working?"

Anders sighed heavily, lifting a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose, ignoring his grumbling stomach.

"Look," Varric said softly, "it's a while away yet. Just… consider it, will you?"

"Why do you think I sighed? I am."

"Good," Varric said with a smile. "Now how about some breakfast? I can hear your stomach rumbling from here."

* * *

 

Anders took a long swallow of ale to wash down his third bowl of porridge. Varric let out a low whistle, staring in amazement at the three empty bowls in front of him.

"You Wardens sure do have an appetite."

"That's nothing compared to their appetite in bed," Isabela purred as she strolled up to their table and plonked herself down in a vacant seat. "Morning boys," she said with a wicked smile as she leant across the table to snatch up some toasted bread and jam.

"Rivaini," Varric said with a nod.

"Morning Bela," Anders said around a mouthful of porridge from his fourth bowl.

"I hope you haven't forgotten about my little duel tonight," she said to Varric.

"I still have to mention it to Hawke, but we should be good for it."

"You better be! I know he won't play fair." She glanced at Anders, smiling fondly. "You'll watch my back no matter what, right?"

"It's such a pleasant view, how could I resist?" he replied with a smirk.

She grinned. "I knew there was a reason I liked you so much. You have excellent taste." She took a bite out of her toast and wiped her lip of crumbs. "Where is Hawke anyway?" she asked as she chewed.

"After last night? Probably still in bed," Varric answered.

"Weak. I got in a blow job, a fuck, and a spanking before the Rose even closed for the night and here I am, right as rain."

Varric chuckled. "We can't all be as… perky as you, Rivaini." Isabela snorted and grinned at the dwarf.

"So what are you doing today?" she asked.

"I guess that depends on Hawke," Varric replied, as his gaze flicked up to something behind them and he smiled. "Or Aveline, as the case may be." Varric waved at a red haired woman, a guard judging by the uniform, and she immediately headed over to them, looking pretty worn out. Even though Anders was a Warden and technically safe from the law, seeing a guard storming toward him still put him slightly on edge, as silly as that was.

"Aveline! Good to see you!"

"Hello Varric, and you," the woman said with a weary smile.

"You haven't met Anders or Isabela, have you?"

"No, I have not," she said as she dipped her head to them both.

"That armour looks rather heavy," Isabela commented.

Aveline shifted on her feet, the metal plates rattling slightly. "It has to be to keep me safe."

"Isn't that what the shield on your back is for?" Isabela asked as she leaned forward on her elbows, making her tits strain distractingly against her shirt.

"That's for extra protection," Aveline replied with a slight frown, her ginger brows furrowing.

"Maker," Isabela exclaimed. "Do you spend your days fighting randy brontos or something?"

Aveline arched a brow at the pirate, clearly unimpressed. "And what does what you're wearing help with, I wonder?"

"Plenty of things," Isabela said with a wink.

Aveline rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Varric. "Hawke around yet?"

"You're the third person to ask me that today, Aveline. Haven't seen him yet." He tilted his head slightly as she sighed. "What's up?"

She rubbed at her freckled face, shaking it slightly. "I might have a job for him, or I do. It's not really something the guard would deal with and the people I've sent up there haven't had any luck. I don't think traditional, by the book, methods will work for this one."

"Aveline, you're rambling. What's the job?" Varric asked seriously.

Her shoulders sagged slightly. "There are a group of, I don't know, thugs, bullies, no-goods, disturbing couples on the Wounded Coast there to, uhh, _sight-see._ " Her cheeks flushed and she swallowed thickly.

Varric's eyes twinkled and he gave the guard a warm smile. "And by sight-see I assume you mean–"

"You know what I bloody-well mean, dwarf," Aveline said stonily.

"That we do, big girl," Isabela chuckled. Aveline looked at the pirate disapprovingly before sighing.

"I don't care how Hawke finds these hooligans, but they need to be stopped. Not killed or anything, just taught a lesson."

"Fear not, Guard Captain, we've got this covered," Varric smoothly said. Aveline rolled her eyes. And Anders couldn't help but be surprised that this woman, a _Fereldan_ woman, was captain of the guard here in Kirkwall. How had she wrangled that, he wondered. "Drinks later?" Varric asked.

Aveline shook her head. "I wish I could; Maker knows I need one. But I can't tonight, Varric. Some other time maybe." She nodded again at Anders and Isabela before leaving.

Well, if one thing was apparent, it was that they probably needed a couple who were on a date on the Coast in order to draw these… hooligans – who even still used that word? – out. Anders glanced at Isabela with a smirk. "So, Bela, fancy a beach walk with me?" he asked huskily.

Isabela's eyes lit up and she licked her smirking lips. "As if I'm going to say no to you, sweet thing." She hopped to her feet with a smile. "I'll need to go put on something more _appropriate_ first though." She winked at them before sauntering off.

"Nug shit, if Rivaini tries to wear less than that shirt of hers she'll be strolling naked through the streets."

"Well, that would certainly attract the attention of these _no-goods_ ," Anders said with a chuckle.

"Right, and just about every other low-life in the city on top of everyone else."

"It sounds like she'd enjoy that, having them on top of her, I mean."

Varric laughed. "On top, below, all around her… I don't think she discriminates, Blondie."

"She certainly didn't when I was with her at the Pearl."

"You still need to tell me about that. What's this electricity thing?"

Anders grinned. "I'll have to show you some time."

"Oh no you don't– verbal descriptions will do just fine; I can let my imagination do the rest."

"Suit yourself… but like I said, Neri _loves_ chest hair. Would you really pass up an opportunity to bed the Slayer of the Archdemon?" he said with a waggle of his brows.

Varric glared at him, patting his crossbow. "And face Bianca's wrath? I would never."

Anders chuckled and finished off his final bowl of porridge. He was rather looking forward to heading out to the Coast. Although it was technically a job, it would at least be a fun one, unlike every single job he'd done in Amaranthine.

* * *

 

Theo had wanted to go check on Fenris, seeing as the elf had never returned to Varric's suite the night before, but instead of doing that, he had been dragged out to the Coast as a favour for Aveline with Isabela, Anders and Varric. And he apparently had to help Isabela tonight too with some duel of hers. None of these things were what he wanted to do, given the pounding in his head, and it wasn't helped by the already very hot and bright sun overhead. He really did miss Ferelden and its almost constant cloud cover.

His siblings were staying at home with mother; apparently they had shopping to do, but given the shifty looks on their faces, he rather suspected they were going to be shopping for his twenty-third nameday, which was fast approaching. He hadn't really celebrated birthdays since coming to Kirkwall due to Red Iron work, and before that, back in Ferelden, he hadn't celebrated his twentieth or nineteenth either because of father and Tanner's deaths. It was odd to think he might actually be able to celebrate this birthday this year, and with friends, too. It had been a while since he'd had those.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Anders suddenly asked.

The mage looked good today; much better than he had a right to look, given how much the blond had drunk last night. Then again, he _was_ a healer. Anders had apparently bought a new shirt on their way to Theo's home; it was navy and tight fitting and he'd rolled up the sleeves to his elbows, leaving those lean slightly freckled forearms of his on show. He had a black belt slung around his slim waist with a few pouches on it—one each for coin, herbs, and potions-and was wearing his black leggings underneath with a new pair of black boots. Anders' hair was all loose and down and falling around his face; apparently he hadn't recovered the hair tie that Theo had removed the night before during their rather passionate snog – that yes, Theo very vividly remembered. All in all, he looked fucking incredible and it was damned distracting.

"Oh, yeah. Just got a bit of a headache," Theo replied with a small smile.

"I can help with that," Anders said, "if you want? Magic isn't as good as Fergus' hangover cure but it will lessen the headache at least."

What he was actually asking was: did he want Anders' hands on him again? And Theo had to admit, he did. He honestly wasn't sure what was happening with him. For four years he had avoided crushes and lust without issue, but now he had two very attractive men in his life and he was acting like a randy teen. He knew Anders was mostly an outlet for the sexual frustration caused by Fenris, but he'd still struggled to control himself the night before and he already knew how poor his control with Fenris was. It was ridiculous.

Theo nodded—he really did want this headache lessened- and stood still so that Anders could lift those soft hands of his up to his temples. The magic flared and Theo let out a relieved moan as the pounding in his head was washed away by the cool magic. Anders' hands slipped into his hair and started massaging his scalp and Theo's eyes fluttered closed as more soft moans left his lips. Anders' hands were _sinfully_ good at this.

"I thought _we_ were the ones on a date!" Isabela called out teasingly and Theo's eyes snapped open. Anders was _right there_ , smirking, his amber eyes catching in the sun making them look as orange as autumn leaves. Theo swallowed thickly and Anders pulled his hands away with a smile.

"We are, Bela," Anders replied softly.

"Humph. And yet you're all over Hawke."

"Can you blame me?" he asked with a smirk as he headed to her side.

"No," she sighed, throwing Theo a wink.

Theo rolled his eyes, smiling despite himself, and carried on walking up the path with them, feeling much better now.

"What was that about Fergus' hangover cure?" Varric asked the mage.

"Oh, it's this great drink that-"

"No, no," Varric said with a wave of his hand, "the Fergus part; Fergus, as in Fergus Cousland, the Queen's brother?"

"Oh. Yeah, that's him."

"You know him too?"

"Sort of," Anders shrugged. "I was at his wedding at least."

Varric's eyes widened as he looked up at Anders. "You mean the one with the assassination?"

"Oh so you heard about that one, did you?" Anders asked with a playful smirk.

"Ha ha," Varric said humourlessly. "Yes, the nobles haven't shut up about it for months."

"I guess it was pretty big news," Anders said. "Neri and I ended up dealing with the bodies though so that made the whole thing a lot less spectacular."

"I bet the queen was furious…" Varric said, and there was definitely a glint in his eyes, one Theo knew all too well.

"She was," Anders replied simply.

"Did she execute the Warden responsible?"

"What?" Anders asked, his voice pitched a little higher than usual. "No, she's not _that_ harsh."

"You sure about that, Blondie? This is the woman who made Bhelen king of Orzammar, spared Loghain's life and murdered Arl Rendon Howe and his youngest son in cold blood."

Anders rolled his eyes. "Making Bhelen king and sparing Loghain were actually Neri's ideas. Howe slaughtered Arietta's family, I'd call that justified. Besides, she did leave _one_ of his sons alive, and the daughter too."

"Ah, so Neri was the one calling the shots during the Blight, was she? Was Arietta just the noble face of it all?"

"No," Anders scoffed. "Definitely not. Neri hates that sort of thing. And Arietta's a good leader, she was always in charge, she just knew to listen to other people's advice. She's level headed, hardworking, always thinking about how to approach things…"

"She sounds like Hawke," Varric muttered and Theo snorted. "She ever stop working and just relax?" the dwarf queried.

"Sometimes," Anders said. "She got drunk with Neri once and she-" Anders stopped mid-sentence and glared at the big eyed dwarf. "You're baiting me!"

Varric's expression crumpled. "Damn it," he grumbled. He lifted his head, eyes pleading, and smirked charmingly up at the mage. "You might as well spill now though, Blondie. She got drunk _and…_ "

"Nope! I don't want to get in any more trouble than I'm already in."

"You know, if you don't give me details, I'll just have to start making stuff up."

"Well, if it's anything like the other stories you've told me, I doubt I'll need to worry too much – they're all so ridiculous anyway." Anders glanced down at Varric, frowning slightly. "Do people actually believe that Hawke flew to Kirkwall on a dragon's back with five virgin maids that he'd rescued from the darkspawn horde?"

"What the fuck, Varric," Theo objected, and the dwarf laughed.

"What?" he said, grinning. "Everybody loves a daring hero."

Theo shook his head, sighing; one of these days Varric's tales were going to get him into serious trouble.

"That looks like it would be a good spot," Isabela said, pointing ahead to a viewpoint on the cliff.

"Agreed," Varric replied. "You two best go act _couplely_ ; Hawke and I will watch your backs from down here."

"Make it look good," Theo said with a wink.

"Always," Isabela purred.

Theo and Varric hid behind a few rocks and watched as Anders and Isabela entwined their hands together and walked cheerfully up the path to the viewpoint. The pirate had opted to wear a red dress, if it could be called that; it barely covered her ass, leaving her dusky long legs bared to the world, and her tits looked close to bursting out of the red material. Her hair was down and loose, not pulled back with a bandana like it had been the night before and her golden jewellery had been replaced with a black choker and several silver and black bracelets that matched her knee-high black boots. She looked gorgeous, even more so next to Anders; they were probably going to be the most attractive couple these _hooligans_ of Aveline's had ever seen.

As soon as they reached the hill, Isabela shoved Anders against the rock and captured his lips with hers. It was a more teasing kiss than the one Theo had shared with Anders the night before, starting out with quick short kisses against smirking lips but it soon became more heated as hands began to grope and grab. Anders' hands squeezed Bela's ass and hers went to his hair to fist the golden tresses.

"Not quite as intense as your snog with the mage, but not bad either," Varric commented as he stood on a small rock to look over the big rock in order to watch the passionate kiss up on the hill.

Theo groaned and shoved his hair away from his face, hair that kept falling in his face thanks to the strong winds along the coast. He really did need to cut it. "Let's _not_ talk about that, Varric."

"What? Why not, Hawke? You can tell everyone you made out with the Slayer of the Archdemon's boyfriend. That's quite the story."

"Your stories are terrible enough already. I mean, flying in on a dragon's back with four virgin maids, _really!?_ "

"It was five, actually, and I can see now that I should have added some blokes to the tale…"

"That isn't why it's terrible!" He shook his head. "They're going to land me in trouble one of these days."

"You worry too much!"

"I don't think I do. I don't need the attention," he explained. "I don't want some big shot gang to come and test how much of a legendary fighter I am."

"But just think of how many fights I could save you by them simply knowing that you're the infamous Hawke..."

"I'd rather be a nobody," he huffed as he rested his head against his arms on the rock.

"Too late for that; after this expedition you'll be a noble, a noble who is best friends with the Slayer."

"We're not best friends," Theo objected. Honestly where did Varric even come up with this kind of stuff? "We saved each other's lives. We patched her up, had breakfast, and then ran for our lives together. It was a very brief meeting."

"Please, you're practically family!"

Theo sighed, and then his eyes went wide as Bela slowly dropped to her knees. "Is she about to-"

Varric snorted. "I knew I should have brought my notebook."

The pirate tugged down Anders' leggings but left his smalls in place as she began to kiss the exposed skin of his thigh and up to the hard length still trapped in his drawers. She closed her lips over it and sucked on it through the thin material, making Anders' entire body shudder against the rock. Theo's mouth went dry at the sight of Bela on her knees in the sand sucking away at him through his smalls as Anders' head fell back against the stone in blissful surrender, his blond hair fanned out around him, catching in the strong winds. They were completely exposed up on that cliff, on that viewpoint, and Theo couldn't take his eyes off of them.

Isabela finally shoved the mage's smalls out of the way and Anders' long cock bounced free. The pirate swallowed it down whole. " _Fuck_ ," Theo hissed as he heard Anders' cry out, his whole body jerking forward, thrusting his cock further down Isabela's throat. "I can't believe she just-! That they're-!" He shook his head, unable to look away as she dragged her lips backwards along his slicked up shaft and began sucking eagerly on the head. Anders' face was one of pure rapture; his eyes squeezed shut, his teeth sinking down into his lower lip as his hands fisted the pirate's loose locks. If this didn't catch the interest of the _hooligans_ Aveline wanted caught, Theo wasn't sure what would.

"That's the Rivaini I know," Varric chuckled, also unable to look away. Theo groaned as Bela swallowed down Anders' cock once more, taking it deep down her throat. His own cock twitched in his smalls. "I bet you're glad you're in your skirt today, Hawke, and not those tight leathers again," Varric said with a cheeky smile.

"It's not a skirt! It's a… a – _shit_! Fenris told me its fucking name and I've bloody forgotten it."

"Sure he did," Varric retorted sarcastically.

"I'm serious! It has a name and everything. It's a - a _thing!_ "

Varric chuckled, and then he nodded at something. "Seems like their little show's attracted an audience."

"Well that's hardly surprising," Theo replied as he caught sight of several men watching from the bushes off of the path. "We think they're the ones Aveline wants us to stop?" The men were snickering and started to sneak up the path toward Bela and Anders. "Never mind, I guess they are."

Varric pulled Bianca off of his back. "How should we handle this?"

"Be ready, but I think Anders and Bela might have this covered."

"You sure about that? They don't have very much covered at all."

Theo snorted but kept his eyes on the pirate and the Warden. The hooligans–were they really calling them that? It was such an Aveline word—climbed the path and hid behind the rock as Anders continued to moan loudly while Isabela sucked him off. The mage's body was trembling and Theo could tell he was close to coming. If Bela or Anders knew the other men were there, they didn't show any signs of it; if anything they got louder and more eager, more lost to the lust and the passion of the act. Anders came with a scream and that's the moment the men jumped out from behind the rock, obviously expecting them to go running with Anders' leggings around his ankles, most likely hoping he'd trip and fall and embarrass himself further. Instead, all four of the men were frozen in place as they stepped onto a glyph that Anders had apparently thrown down. Isabela wiped her lips and stared up at the horrified men with a smirk. She got to her feet and Anders tucked himself in before walking toward the frozen men with a ball of flame in his hand.

"Now what sort of indecent people ruin a man's lucky day, eh?" Anders asked the disturbers as those flames licked across his fingers.

"We're sorry! We didn't know you were a mage…" one of the men was blabbering.

"Oh, so if I wasn't a mage, it would be okay then?"

"N-no!"

"He didn't mean that!" another cried.

Theo and Varric both headed out of their hiding spot and climbed the path together. "Let's see if your tales prove useful today," Theo muttered as he drew his weapons and gave Varric a wink. Varric grinned and followed suit, cocking Bianca menacingly.

"Well look what we caught," Theo said with a smirk as he eyed all four of the young men. "A bunch of perverts."

"No-we're not. We was just having a bit of fun!" one of them confessed, a lad with black hair who couldn't have been much older than Theo.

"By ruining other people's fun?" Isabela asked, folding her arms. "That's not very nice."

"Right, maybe we should show them what _we_ do for fun," Varric said with a surprisingly sadistic looking glint to his eyes. He really was very good at this acting thing; Theo could usually only do it if he exaggerated a real emotion he was feeling. He was focusing on his anger right now; these guys really were dicks to disturb couples like this.

"P-please let us go! We won't do it again!"

"And I'm supposed to take you at your word, am I?" Theo asked. "How do I know you're not just having a bit of fun with me?" He twirled his daggers in a scary looking flourish that had all four men sweating just a little more.

"No, no we wouldn't do that!" a brunet said, his voice quivering slightly.

"Do you even know who I am?" Theo asked with one brow raised. All four men shook their heads, looking very apologetic. "Tell them," Theo demanded.

"This here is Hawke," Varric said, and for once he didn't need any more embellishment than that. The men's eyes widened in horror; they knew _exactly_ who Hawke was. And then they all started apologising at once.

Theo rolled his eyes and turned his head away to stop them from seeing the smile on his face. He composed himself enough to turn around with a snarl. "I should feed you all to my pet wyvern," he hissed. "Where is he anyway?" He looked around, lifting his fingers to his lips to let out a long whistle. "Puedam? Here boy!"

"Please, Ser Hawke, we're very sorry!" one of the men begged.

"Real, real sorry," another agreed.

"We won't do it anymore!"

"Please, just let us go; we don't wanna be wyvern dinner!"

Theo brought his dagger up to one of the trembling men and cut a piece of his collar off with it. He wiped that piece of fabric over the man's sweaty forehead and then held it in front of his face. "Any of you disturb people like that again and Puedam will hunt you down. He has your scent now. You hear?"

"Y-y-yes!" the man stuttered, his eyes wide with fear.

Theo rolled his hand and waved his hand dismissively. Anders' glyph dissipated and the men scrambled down the hill, practically tripping over their own feet in their haste.

" _Puedam_ …" Varric pondered. "Made up?"

Theo grinned. "Apt, no?"

"Not bad at all, Hawke."

"I learned from the best, clearly."

"I told you those stories would come in handy…"

"Yes, alright, this one time they proved useful. I still think they're ridiculous though."

"And having a pet wyvern named Puedam isn't?" Anders asked, smirking.

"Did you like the show?" Bela husked in Theo's ear as her hands wrapped around his left arm.

"It was… very effective," Theo said around a lump in his throat.

Isabela quirked a brow at him and glanced down at his crotch. "Effective at what?" she asked with a wink.

He cleared his throat. "Come on; let's get back to the city," he said as he untangled himself from the pirate's grip.

"You sure you don't want to double check there aren't any _other_ perverts?" Bela asked. "We could go on a fake date instead."

"Ha, maybe some other time. We should probably get ready for this duel of yours…"

"Ugh. I already told you, it's real simple. We meet him in Hightown. We kill him. And then we get all his stuff."

"We should still scope the area out, look out for traps-"

"Sounds like you just want an excuse to go to Hightown," Varric interrupted with a grin as he slung Bianca onto his back.

"Varric…" Theo warned with a glare at the dwarf as they walked down the sandy path.

"What?" That grin widened. "I can tell you want to go check on him, Hawke."

"Oh, is that where the _pretty_ elf lives?" Isabela asked as she linked her arm through Theo's. He rolled his eyes.

"Huh, he left when we made out, right?" Anders said. "Has he got a thing for you?"

"More importantly," Isabela said. "Do _you_ have a thing for _him?_ "

"No!" Theo squeaked.

"That's a yes then," Bela and Anders said in unison. Theo groaned.

"You should have seen Hawke meet the elf for the first time," Varric started to say.

"Don't even think about it, dwarf," Theo growled.

Isabela pulled her arm away from Theo's to walk with Varric instead. "Spill. I want to hear it all."

"So do I," Anders laughed.

Theo groaned. This was going to be a long day.


	16. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for vanishing! This chapter was a fuckstain. 
> 
> Also, fuck doing this quest in the Chantry, that shit made no sense.

Fenris' blade cut through the air in a wide arc, disturbing the dust floating idly in the air of the main hall as he practiced his swings. The ferocity of his strikes soon coated his body in sweat as he tried to work out his anger and hangover. Usually, he would have done this part of his training earlier in the day, but he had awoken late and hungover on the hard cellar floor of his mansion.

It had been a long time since he had felt this unwell. Although, it wasn't too surprising that he felt so under the weather given how much alcohol he had consumed, not just in his mansion, but also at The Hanged Man before leaving the tavern—no, that was incorrect, _fleeing_ the tavern was a more appropriate term for such a thing. He had not been able to stand watching Hawke with that man, with that _mage_. Could not bear seeing Hawke _enjoying_ it, not with that too-quick-to-smile mage that reminded Fenris far too much of the magisters of Tevinter.

Even now, he could not believe Hawke had let such a man sit in his lap. He still felt physically repulsed by the entire thing—that sense of dread still not having left him despite him no longer being in the mage's presence. He wasn't certain what had caused such a reaction either. Whether it was the fact this mage in particular was a Warden and thus likely one capable of doing whatever was necessary for causes he believed in, or whether it was simply the smug, lustful gaze that had seemingly undressed him every time those amber eyes had looked Fenris' way. Whatever had caused it, he felt unclean.

Body aching and tired, he headed to the washroom and ran himself a cold bath. The coolness of the water would do to calm him, he hoped. With his clothes removed, he slipped in, hissing slightly as the chill settled over his body.

In truth, he was angry with himself for thinking he could escape mages at all. He had associated himself with Hawke, a man he _knew_ to be a mage sympathiser. It had been inevitable from the beginning that Hawke would befriend other mages and Fenris should have anticipated that the rogue would prefer their company to his. No doubt the mage wasn't filled with hatred and self-loathing like Fenris was, and he was clearly easier to converse with.

The fact that Fenris had started to wonder if he would make a friend out of Hawke was foolish. He did not have friends. He never would, because he never stayed in one place long enough to make any. And thoughts of anything more of that were absurd, especially when Hawke had specifically told him his flirting was meaningless. Hawke was always honest, so why had he allowed himself to think of anything beyond that? But that was before Hawke had then advanced his flirting with the mage into something else. Perhaps he had meant only flirting with Fenris would lead nowhere. He could not blame him for that, even if the thought did make him bitter.

Fenris was, and always would be, a tool – an impressive tool, one that people used and showed off, but still a tool, he reflected. He was a strong warrior and little more. That was why Hawke had kept him around, if it weren't for his skill, he likely would have been told to leave after he had insulted Hawke's sister the night they had met. He was such a tool that, with his bath finished and him standing out on the landing, back in his familiar armour, he had no idea what to do with the rest of his day.

Before meeting Hawke, he had been planning and working with Anso to attack the hunters. But, since meeting the human, not a day had past where he hadn't simply gone along with whatever the rogue had planned. Hawke had not yet been by with news of a job and thus Fenris had no plans. Had he already become so reliant on the rogue? He stared at the front door with a frown, feeling little better than a dog waiting for its master to return. That thought made his chest tighten and his lip curl in disgust. He would _not_ let Hawke replace Danarius. He could not become dependent on another when none of this would last.

He stormed down the steps, no longer wanting to wait for Hawke or to sit idle, deciding that he would go buy some more food from the Lowtown market, seeing as his current stock was getting low. He yanked open the creaky door and stared, stunned, as he found Hawke on the other side of it, his fist frozen mid-air between them, looking just as surprised as he was.

"Fenris!" Hawke said, blinking away the shock. "I was just about to knock—obviously." He stared at his fist and then dropped it awkwardly to his side with a clear of his throat. "Are you…well?"

"I am," Fenris replied roughly. He could not deny the bitter anger he felt at seeing Hawke, nor could he banish the images that surfaced alongside it. Ones of the rogue and the mage together. Instead, they played on a loop in his mind, only succeeding in angering him further.

He felt something in his gut twist at seeing obvious hurt flash across Hawke's face. The rogue chewed down on his lip with worry but immediately forced himself to stop and instead swallowed thickly. The silence dragged between them but finally Hawke spoke again, his expression trying for casual curiosity but failing to mask the nervous fear behind it.

"Were you going somewhere?"

All that anger and bitterness surfaced again, spilling the words from his mouth before he could think better of them. "I am capable of leaving the mansion without you at my side," he snapped.

Hawke's eyes went wide, his mouth opening with a quiet little gasp before he clamped it shut. That shocked expression twisted into one of confusion, his brows furrowed heavily. "I know that," he said. "When have I ever suggested you couldn't?" He shook his head slightly, his hand ruffling his hair in frustration. "I thought…I thought you might have been _leaving_."

It was Fenris' turn to be surprised as he arched a brow at the rogue.

"I guess you're not though?" Hawke asked with some colour tinging his cheeks.

"And deprive you of a warrior?" Fenris said dryly, his lip curling.

Hawke's brow furrowed again. "That's not why I like having you around."

To Hawke's credit, he hadn't said _keep_ him around. As a result, Fenris felt his posture relax, some of the animosity melting away at the carnelian eyes staring at him with a mix of emotions even Fenris was struggling to fully place.

"Did you want something?" Fenris finally asked.

Hawke opened and closed his mouth before sucking in a deep breath. "I _was_ going to ask if you wanted to do a job with us…but I'm guessing the answer's no."

Regardless of his current feelings for Hawke or the mage, Fenris hated feeling this anger coiling inside of him, hated how it surged through his veins and barbed his tongue. A fight—an inevitability when out with Hawke—would do him some good, he was sure. And the rogue was _asking_ him if he wanted to go. He was not Danarius, demanding his assistance.

Taking his silence as an answer, Hawke sighed. "Alright then. Sorry for bothering you," he said, turning and heading away from Fenris and his mansion.

"What is the job?" he found himself asking. Hawke turned, unable to hide the hopefulness in his expression.

"Bela set up a duel, but doesn't expect the guy to play fair," Hawke explained. "The others are scouting out the area now."

"Others?" Fenris couldn't help the tensing of his shoulders as Hawke's expression turned a little sheepish.

"Uhh, my siblings, Varric…and Anders," Hawke said with some hesitation, his amber eyes watching Fenris closely, probably hoping to catch some hint of emotion on his face, of which there was none.

"I see."

He watched the rogue swallow thickly, his throat bobbing heavily with the motion. "Fenris, I feel like we should talk…"

"I'll accompany you," Fenris said instead. The last thing he currently needed or wanted was to talk about last night.

"You will?" Hawke asked, voice pitched a little higher with surprise.

"Yes," he said, as he pulled the mansion door closed. "Lead on."

The human looked like he wanted to push the issue further, but, wisely, chose not to. Hawke nodded and led the way out of the courtyard, down the steps to the main square. And, sure enough, the others were waiting for them, the blond mage included. Fenris kept his expression impassive even as his skin crawled at the lingering and appreciative gaze the Warden sent his way. Ignoring the blond mage, he gave the others a slight nod in greeting before focusing back on Hawke who was checking through his various belts.

"Alright," Hawke said, "let's go find Bela."

They all fell in behind him, with the twins walking closely behind Hawke and the Warden. Fenris deliberately stayed back, away from them both and ended up walking next to Varric who had also stayed back a bit, no doubt wishing to speak with him. Fenris deliberately kept his pace brisk, hoping to deter him. It did not.

"Broody, you never said 'bye last night," the dwarf said. "Bianca was offended."

Fenris grunted in reply. He usually liked Varric's company, but today, all he wanted was a good fight. And if he knew the dwarf, he'd soon start prying.

"Everything alright?"

From beneath his fringe, Fenris rolled his eyes. Predictable as always. "Yes," he replied crisply.

"You sure about that?"

"Yes."

"'Cause you stormed out right when Blondie and Hawke were-"

Those images flashed back through his mind, causing his stomach to churn. He grit his teeth and shot a glare at the story teller. "Does this questioning have a point, dwarf?"

Varric lifted his gloves hands, eyes widening a touch. "You just seem broodier than usual today."

"I do not brood."

"Friend, if your brooding were any more impressive, women would swoon as you passed. They'd have broody babies in your honour."

Fenris frowned but said nothing, and Varric sighed.

A moment later, they reached the next courtyard. Fenris quickly picked out the pirate rogue slipping easily between well-armoured foes, her blades dancing wildly in her hands. Hawke and the others immediately drew their weapons and rushed toward her. Fenris followed, his markings flaring to life as he drew his broadsword.

"About time you showed up!" the pirate called out to Hawke as she sliced the throat of one of her attackers. Blood sprayed across her face but she paid it no mind as she dashed toward the next mercenary.

"Sorry!" Hawke replied. "Looks like you're handling things pretty well though!"

Isabela shot him a smirk over her shoulder. "What did you expect? I'm _good_ at handling things," she said with a wink before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Hawke laughed even as his daggers clashed with another rogue's. Fenris charged passed the human to take down another foe that was trying to flank Hawke and cut him near in half. He turned, expecting to find more enemies to kill, but none were left.

The pirate sheathed her blades with a heavy exhale and began rummaging through the corpses. Despite first impressions, she had actually opted to wear something that almost resembled armour for this duel, Fenris noticed. It wasn't much, just a tight fitting studded leather jerkin with mid-thigh black boots from which hung numerous throwing knives and smoke bombs.

"Aha!" she said as she stood back up, holding a crumpled and slightly bloodied note. "They're hiding in Hightown, the cowards."

Varric sighed. "And here I was hoping _this_ had been the duel," he said as he kicked one of corpses with his boot.

"Where are they?" Hawke asked as he pushed his hair out of his face.

"Not far," Isabela said. "Come on." She dashed off, leaving the rest of them to follow or lose sight of her entirely.

"Wait!" Hawke hissed. "We shouldn't just rush in!"

The pirate ignored him, instead, continuing on her mad dash into one of the more secluded parts of Hightown. Fenris drew his sword, sensing a trap. The others followed his example as they chased after her.

"We need to plan this out-" Hawke's words died on his lips as they all rounded the corner to find a large group of well-armed men and women waiting for them.

" _Isabela_ ," a man standing at the centre of the group said with a frown as he stepped forward, "should have known you'd find me here."

"Tell your men to burn the letters next time," the pirate replied.

Fenris tuned out much of the following conversation, as he focused instead on counting the men this man had with him and assessing how much of a threat they posed to their group. There were fifteen visible with the leader, Haydar, but Fenris could see shadows moving in the windows of several surrounding buildings, and, if he wasn't mistaken, there were also footsteps coming from behind them. Thankfully, Fenris could feel no mages other than their own beginning to cast in preparation for the inevitable battle.

Apparently the pirate saw the truth of it too. She tossed one of her daggers at Haydar's right hand man, killing them instantly. And then the fight was begun.

The mages were the first to strike after that, with Bethany throwing a fireball toward the group of fifteen. Several died while the others were thrown backwards by the blast. By the time they had scrambled back to their feet, Fenris had already finished off two and the rest were easy pickings for the rogues in their group, separated by flames from their comrades as they were.

More men tried entering the courtyard—ones from the surrounding buildings—but they were met with flame and ice, blocking their path forward. Behind him, Fenris could hear yet more men rushing in to join the fight and, out of the corner of his eye, could see Carver trying to hold them back to stop their group from being completely overwhelmed all at once.

Fenris spun, lifting his sword with ease to block Haydar's sudden swing at his unprotected head. The human had apparently decided he was the most threatening of Hawke's group. With a hard shove, Fenris pushed him back, his lip curling at the overly smug look on the human's face. With their group outnumbered, Haydar clearly believed the fight to be his, but Fenris wasn't about to let an apparent slaver win.

Their blades clashed over and over, with Haydar having more strength behind each blow while Fenris had better speed and precision. More than once, his blade connected with the man's armour, making Haydar grit his teeth and charge back in with clumsy anger which Fenris easily dodged and parried. He focused his efforts on the human's right hip, seeing as that was primarily where the weight of each of his swings came from. It didn't take long for those blows to weaken the human and wipe that smirk from his lips.

"There's a pretty bounty on an elf matching your description," Haydar said, obviously hoping to anger him into a mistake. "Maybe I'll keep you alive, just for that."

Fenris kept his fury tempered, sticking to his precise swings and slowly weakening the other warrior. He tuned out the fighting around him, waiting for the perfect moment to end this duel. He spotted the pirate nod at him before vanishing from sight in a cloud of smoke and Fenris took that as his cue. He let his markings flare blindingly bright, startling Haydar, and Isabela reappeared behind him.

"I win," she whispered, as she brought her dagger across his throat.

Fenris didn't waste time watching Haydar bleed out before he was charging at the next group of attackers, ones that were just breaking through an ice wall one of the mages had used to trap them in a surrounding building. Fenris snarled as a group of ten rushed toward him. He phased straight through the first warrior, shattering every bone in their body and surprising the rest of the group. Two more fell in their shock, another he knocked out with a hit from his pommel, and then he was slipping easily between the rest, a blur or blinding light and fluid movement.

He grit his teeth upon hearing another group finally getting past the dying flame blocking their path and would have failed to dodge the arrows sent his way if it weren't for the barrier one of the mages threw over him. He ignored the usual ache it caused and instead focused on dealing with the two groups. His gut tightened with worry however when he spotted Hawke out of the corner of his eye struggling to fight a warrior alone and away from everyone else.

Theo cursed his shitty luck. In the chaos, he had managed to get separated from everyone else and attract the very unwanted attention of a woman in full plate—or at least, he assumed it was a woman because of the long brown hair sticking out from under her helm. He bloody hated trying to fight warriors. And this one had a whopping great sword the height of her and the width of one of Theo's thighs, making his daggers look like toothpicks in comparison.

He dodged back again as she came swinging at him. He was hoping she would tire quickly and he would then be able to get in close to take her out, but that didn't seem to be happening and he kept glancing worriedly at the battles occurring across the courtyard. Fenris was alone, fighting Maker only knew how many people. Carver had created a chokepoint and was desperately trying to hold back yet another group from entering the courtyard with Bethany close behind him, casting in pure offense. Varric and Anders were standing together more centrally, doing their best to protect others. Theo wasn't even sure where Isabela was because she kept disappearing in a cloud of smoke and then reappearing somewhere else entirely before vanishing once more.

Distracted, his next dodge wasn't quite enough and the warrior's greatsword sliced across his belt, cutting straight through his remaining flasks: poisons, potions, smoke bombs, the whole fucking lot. He cursed through his teeth and glared at the warrior, fully expecting her to be smirking underneath that helm of hers. He struggled enough as it was to afford poisons and other items and now his entire stash had been wiped out in one fucking fight before he had even used half of them. _Idiot_ , he scolded himself, _pay attention_!

Now, without his flasks, he needed to figure out how to get in close. Usually he would throw down a smoke bomb or flask of acid to distract the warriors with before killing them, and failing that, he usually had his brother or sister to help out. But alone like this, he was realising that he really had no clue how to go about doing something like this without getting cut in half. He was self-taught with his daggers and tended to rely on speed and accuracy when taking out foes, but he doubted he would be fast enough to get under her swing and injure her before she was back on him.

She charged at him, obviously sensing his hesitation. He sidestepped her huge blade as she thrust it forward, but he hadn't been expecting her to twist it downwards. He hissed in pain as it caught the back of his leg and he quickly put some distance between them so he could check the wound. His fingers came back coated in blood and he cursed again. The fucking bitch was trying to slow _him_ down. He did _not_ have time for shit like that, not when he needed to help the others.

He growled and decided to chance it. If he could get his dagger under her amour, at a joint, then he could win, or so he hoped. He feigned a step forward and she swung, then he rushed in behind it and lunged with both his daggers. He aimed for her armpit, hoping that would do the most damage to her ability to swing that greatsword of hers, but she shifted defensively and his blades glanced clean off her armour. She followed that through with a blow from an armoured elbow straight to his head. He cursed as he staggered back, away from her counter swing, feeling blood, hot and wet trickle down from his forehead. It kept getting in his eye as he tried to dodge her blows, she knew that, and left him no room to manoeuvre. It forced him to block her blows instead as her sword came down on him, the blow vibrating right up his arms with such force his teeth clapped together.

All the sounds of battle around him vanished, replaced by the pounding beat of his pulse in his ears. She had nearly backed him up into a corner with her aggressive attacks and that only made his heart beat faster as panic set in. Desperation making him reckless, he tried to roll under her blade to get away from her, but her sword scythed forward and he barely scrambled back from it, his upper arm getting cut in the process. He could feel the blood spilling down his arm, down to his half-gloved fingers, causing his grip on his dagger to become slippery. He dared not look down at it though, not when she now had him fully cornered and was preparing to finish him off.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck_ , was all he could think. He wiped at the blood running into his eye again and spared a glance at everyone else in the courtyard. Bethany and Carver were side by side, fighting the group at the entrance but a few had gotten past them and now Anders was fighting in close quarters with several warriors with only Bela and Varric for back up. Fenris was engaged with yet more enemies that had broken through one of Bethany's ice walls. None of them were even aware that he was about to die. He didn't have time to decide if that was a good or a bad thing before the bitch charged full force at him, apparently just as fed up with this fight as he was. She leapt into the air and her blade came crashing down in front of her. Theo had nowhere to go, so he did the only thing he could; he dropped to the ground and prepared to roll into her knees.

Her leap went too far forward, however, and her blade crashed down into the window over Theo's head and promptly got stuck in the frame. He stared up at the massive greatsword just inches above his head, blinking in shock, before he glanced at the warrior who had also frozen in surprise. She tried to pull her blade free, but Theo lunged forward, still crouched, and rammed one of his blades up between her legs, sinking it deep into her groin. She screamed and let go of her greatsword in order to try to remove the dagger Theo had embedded in her. He rolled out and got to his feet, then he grabbed the bitch's hair and dragged her backwards, putting his leg out so she tripped over it. The warrior crashed to the ground, still wailing, and Theo kicked off her helm.

_Oh_. It was a bloke all along.

"You stabbed my fucking balls!" he screeched in agony, his expression utterly horrified and disbelieving.

"And now I'm going to stab your fucking face," Theo hissed back, as he plunged his other dagger down into the man's eye.

Breathless, bleeding, and limping, Theo pulled free both of his daggers and charged toward Fenris. The warrior was now fighting a little closer to Theo-perhaps he _had_ realised the peril Theo had been in and had tried to reach him; that thought warmed his heart a bit. The elf was fighting a group of four –it had been five, moments before – and was being pressed hard. Theo watched helplessly, still running toward him, as one of the warriors slammed his shield into Fenris' face, knocking the elf hard against the wall and dazing him. Theo roared, seeing red, and tossed his dagger, grateful this warrior was without a helm. His blade landed in the man's neck, killing him instantly and the other three turned their attention to Theo, snarling. He met their blades with his, dancing between them. Fenris, having recovered from the blow to his face, swung at the men that had foolishly put their backs to him, killing two in a single brutal swing. The fourth fell to Theo's blade a moment later, stunned and distracted as he was by the ferocity of Fenris' attack on his comrades.

Theo grinned at Fenris, glad they were both safe, but the elf's eyes widened in alarm, his mouth opening –

Theo's breath stuttered to a halt as blinding pain seared through his back.

It was only as he fell to the ground that he realised there were only four fresh corpses on the ground; the fifth had simply been in stealth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wicked laughter* I am an asshole. Sorrrrryyyyyyy (not sorry). Editing (aka: adding stuff) made it so I needed to half this chapter and that meant a cliffie. So yeah. My bad. Don't hate me. Need to edit the next half still, so I have no idea when I will get that chapter out. Hopefully in a week, but we'll see. 
> 
> Thanks for the support, as always. And to my beta, Lys, and to Eclectify for giving this a read over when I was fretting over it. <3 
> 
> Until next time, 
> 
> Chant.


	17. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughh. Another re-written to death chapter that I am mostly happy with, at last. Sorry it's late! Almost all of my commenters have gone walk about lately so motivation definitely fizzled a bit to get it done. But it is done now. *washes hands of it* 
> 
> Thanks as always to ElyssaCousland for the beta. 
> 
> See you all next week, hopefully.

His heart clenching, Fenris roared and charged at the rogue whose blades were dripping with Hawke's blood. The bastard managed to dodge out of the way of Fenris' swing and succeeded in bringing one of those slicked up blades across Fenris' side as he did so. Snarling, Fenris lunged at the man and managed to bring his sword's guard straight into the man's temple. In one quick swing, Fenris decapitated him. He didn't spare the man a second glance before rushing back to Hawke's side and dropping to his knees.

The rogue was lying in a pool of his own blood and, as Fenris rolled him over onto his back, blood gurgled out of his mouth. Fenris held him helplessly as Hawke started to choke and convulse in his arms. Panic setting in, he glanced up, desperately searching for help, and for the first time ever, was grateful to see a mage rushing toward him.

"Get his armour off! _Now_!" Anders shouted as he ran toward Hawke and the elf. Fenris remained frozen, his eyes white with fear even as Anders skidded to his knees at Hawke's other side. " _Fenris!"_ he hissed, finally snapping the elf out of it. The armour was off in a matter of seconds after that—easily done given how little Hawke was wearing—and Anders finally had room to work.

He rolled the rogue back onto his stomach so he could look at the entry wounds. He sucked in a deep breath at seeing just how big and how deep the blades had sunk into his back and immediately let his magic flare. Hawke's lungs were completely filled with blood and Anders cursed under his breath as he flooded those lungs with magic, forcing the blood up and out of his mouth instead. Hawke choked and shuddered as it spilled out onto the cold stone, but at least once it was done the rogue was able to suck in a little air. Anders spread his hands out on the rogue's blood slicked skin and pumped more magic into him, willing the wounds to close. Others were shouting in the background, worried words and guilt ridden remarks, but Anders ignored it all as he went about the long process of healing Hawke.

At some point Bethany had joined him to kneel worriedly at his side as she tended to Hawke's smaller wounds while Anders continued working on his back. He'd swallowed down several lyrium potions before finally healing Hawke's wound sufficiently. By that time, the fighting behind him had also ceased and he could feel eyes on him as people crowded around with worry.

"He'll live," he said as he wiped at his sweat-soaked forehead.

His stomach roiled as he stood up, leaving Bethany to watch over her brother as he glanced at the others. A quick check for injuries revealed a few cuts and bruises on Carver, and Bela seemed to be favouring her right leg as she watched on guiltily. With a heavy sigh, Anders headed over to them.

Varric stepped closer to Hawke and Sunshine as Blondie headed off to help the others. His throat felt thick as he watched her sob over her unconscious brother and he swallowed thickly before moving to her side. He wasn't good at comfort shit, but seeing Sunshine like that was damn well breaking his heart.

"He'll be alright, Sunshine," he assured her as he squeezed her shoulder.

"I didn't even notice," she whispered, her voice cracking. "Not until Anders was already half way across the courtyard." She sniffed and buried her head in Hawke's hair. "I'm not sure I could have healed this…If Anders hadn't been here—"

"Hey now, none of that," he said as he patted her back a little awkwardly. Bethany just hugged her brother closer to her chest in response. "Your brother's gonna be fine. And Anders _was_ here so no harm, no foul, right?"

Bethany nodded her head glumly as she continued to cling to her brother. That's when Varric spotted the very agitated and pacing elf. Ah, nugshit, he thought.

He approached Fenris cautiously, eyeing the deep and bleeding wound on the elf's side with a grimace. "Hey, you gonna make a fuss about letting Blondie take a look at that, Broody?" he asked, but Fenris merely gave him a quick, very broody look and continued to pace. Varric sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. This was gonna be trouble, he just knew it.

Blondie jogged over to him at that moment, apparently also having spotted Fenris' injured side. "Fenris, I'm going to need to heal that," Anders said softly as he approached the elf. Fenris whirled on him, lips curled.

"Do not come near me, _mage_ ," he spat.

"You're bleeding," Anders explained calmly. "I _need_ to heal it." The wound looked surprisingly deep, having cut right through the flesh just above the elf's hip. He doubted there was any real internal damage, but Fenris had already lost a lot of blood and his usually dusky skin looked paler already.

"No. I do not want you or your filthy magic near me."

"For fuck's sake!" Anders cried out, weariness from the long day and his dwindling mana supply making him snappier than usual. "You'll bleed out at this rate!"

"Come on, Broody, you're no good to anyone if you pass out," Varric said, stepping forward to try to placate the elf.

"I am fine," Fenris insisted even as his breathing became ragged.

"Bullshit you are," Anders said. "You're leaving a trail of blood on the ground!"

He shook his head in frustration as the elf continued to pace. He'd seen people fear magic before, seen them hate it, but even they usually saw reason and let themselves get healed when their life was on the line. He couldn't wrap his head around why Fenris wouldn't just let him do it—especially when it would take all of a few minutes to do. He hated that people like this existed, people that wanted nothing to do with magic at all and wouldn't even give it a chance. At least Fenris had better reasons than most, but that didn't make it any less frustrating to work around.

"At least take off the armour so I can have a look," Anders implored.

"And give you more reason to leer at me?" Fenris asked, his green eyes narrowed and boring a hole into Anders' face. "I think not."

"Trust me, you become less and less attractive the more I learn about you," Anders snapped. "I'm a healer, Fenris, and you _need_ healing. Just let me do my job." He stepped toward Fenris again and the elf's markings flared threateningly.

"Do not take another step, mage."

"You're being a stubborn idiot! I know you've had bad experiences with mages but-"

"Do not presume to know what I have been through," Fenris spat, his markings still lit up a fierce blue, casting his face in sharp shadows.

"I'm _not_ ," Anders bit out. "But I'm not a magister. I'm a healer, for fuck's sake—the complete opposite of a blood mage!" He took another step toward the elf and Fenris' markings lit up even more; they were so bright Anders was practically squinting at him. He should just give up, he realised, none of this was worth dying over, but he'd always been stubborn when he _knew_ he could help someone. "You're being ridiculous," Anders scolded. "But I guess if you won't let me have a look…I'll just have to wait until you pass out to heal you."

Fenris' eyes went wild—gauntleted hands grabbed him and slammed him up against the wall. Anders' startled cry got cut off by a gauntlet closing around his neck. He gasped, choking on his breath as Fenris' grip tightened. All he could do was stare into the elf's green eyes in disbelief, finding them livid, feral and full of fear.

"Touch me, mage, and it will be the last thing you ever do," Fenris growled in a deadly whisper.

"You're the one touching me right now," Anders, rather stupidly, choked out. Fenris inhaled sharply, hissing—then his fist plunged into Anders' chest.

Anders let out a strangled cry, unable to breathe properly with the hand still clenched around his neck. He clawed at the arm the elf had buried inside him, gasping as he felt Fenris' fist clench around his heart and squeeze – not enough to kill him, thank the Maker, but enough to make his entire body shudder in revulsion and pain.

" _Fenris!_ " Hawke's hoarse voice rang out. Fenris blinked and turned to stare at the rogue who was miraculously awake _and_ on his feet, leaning heavily against his sister. "Let him go," Hawke ordered, his voice low and brokering no argument. The hands around Anders' heart and neck mercifully disappeared and Anders collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath as he clutched at his bruised chest.

"You really are a fucking dog," he rasped up at the still seething elf.

Fenris' lip curled once more but he did not say anything.

"Come on, Blondie, let's get you away from the angry elf."

Anders happily accepted the dwarf's help up and stumbled away from the hostile ex-slave.

Theo watched Varric and Anders leave with a sigh, grateful that he wouldn't have to explain to the Slayer of the Archdemon why her boyfriend was dead. He adjusted his grip on Bethany, his back aching with every breath, and looked at Fenris. "Will you let my sister look at the wound? No magic. Just let her check it?" he asked wearily, his voice barely above a rasped whisper.

Fenris' breathing slowly calmed and he stopped pacing. The elf nodded listlessly and then staggered on his feet. "Shit," Theo cursed as he stepped forward to catch the falling elf. Bethany was faster though and caught him. Thankfully, the sudden fall and close proximity to his sister seemed to have stopped Fenris from completely passing out as she helped him safely to the ground, propping him up against the wall.

"Can you lift up your leathers?" she asked quietly. Fenris squeezed his eyes shut, his breath coming out in short sharp pants through his nose and Bethany looked up at the others still crowded around and watching. "Perhaps some privacy?" Carver nodded and dragged Isabela away, over to where Anders and Varric were looting corpses. Theo was about to attempt to leave himself, not that he could really walk with his back and lungs still aching, but Fenris stopped him with a quiet rasp.

"You can stay."

Theo glanced at him, surprised that Fenris wanted him around at all considering how cold he had been to him earlier. But he nodded and came to sit on Fenris' other side, even if sitting was a struggle with pain lancing through his back every time he moved too much. At least he was alive though. He gathered it had been a rather close thing if the pool of blood he'd woken up in was anything to go by. He shuddered just thinking about it, about how much of an idiot he had been—he shook his head. Fenris needed him right now, that's all that mattered. He could—or would—worry over it all later, once everyone was okay.

With the others gone, Fenris began undoing the buckles on his armour, wanting the chest plate out of the way so he could peel back his bloodied leathers. Even doing that was a struggle though, with light-headedness making his arms feel heavy. Hawke's fingers suddenly touched his, forcing Fenris' blurry gaze back to the rogue.

"I've got this," he said, his voice hoarse and a slight smile touching his lips. Fenris gave him a nod, accepting the assistance.

He still could not believe Hawke was alive. Was awake and _here_. He had thought for certain… He swallowed thickly, not liking _any_ of his reactions to such a belief. It reminded him far too much of watching Danarius leave him on Seheron all that time ago. Of the panic and fear he had felt at _losing_ his master. His lip curled—how had he let himself become a slave to yet another man? _Had_ he done that? Or was this something else? He did not know. And instead he focused on lifting his leathers up now that Hawke had pulled the chest plate away.

He had to grit his teeth and breathe through the pain while he let Hawke's sister inspect the wound. "Alright…it's quite deep," she said. "Magic would be faster—"

"No!" Fenris said in a panic as images of Hadriana's 'healing' flashed through his mind. She had enjoyed re-opening his old wounds just so she could close them back up again. The result was several scars and aches and pains all over his body that he doubted he would ever be rid of.

"I can stitch it," Bethany said, biting her lip a bit as she thought, "but it will hurt, a lot." Fenris nodded dismissively as he prepared for the pain. The mage sighed and glanced to her brother. "Theo, could you clean up everything I'll need?"

Hawke nodded and started sorting through the supplies. Fenris watched his shaking hands and the little winces that twisted his face every time he sucked in a breath. There was guilt there, Fenris realised, coiling in his gut. Guilt that he hadn't warned Hawke in time, hadn't stopped that stealthed rogue sooner. He shook his head, needing to stop thinking such thoughts.

"Alright, this is going to sting like a bitch," Bethany warned as she took a damp cloth from Hawke. Fenris nodded, grit his teeth, then hissed as it made contact with the open wound on his side.

Theo winced at seeing the grimace on Fenris' face. While he hadn't been particularly observant as he rushed to Fenris' aid—hence the blades he'd taken to the back—he was certain that gash on Fenris' side had not been there before Theo had passed out. Which meant Fen got it taking down the rogue that had attacked Theo... It was _his_ fault Fenris had gotten hurt at all. And if Anders had died trying to help Fenris, then that would have been on him too.

Theo hadn't realised—until now—just how bad Fenris' aversion to magic was. There hadn't been many injuries amongst their group recently, certainly none requiring magical healing. But it wasn't just hatred he was seeing, there was fear too—he could see it in the whites of Fenris' eyes. He made a quick mental note to ask Fenris more about Tevinter later, although he wasn't sure how much the elf would even be willing to share.

He turned his attention back to Fenris, finding the elf still grimacing through the pain. Feeling the need to do _something_ , Theo grabbed Fenris' hand and gave the elf a nod. Fenris squeezed it out of instinct as Bethany continued to clean his wound. His sister gave him a nod and a significant look and Theo turned his attention to Fenris, knowing a distraction would help him through Bethany's stitching.

"You know, Fenny," Theo began, letting a teasing smile curl his lips, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you care about me." Fenris' eyes narrowed, apparently annoyed with such a suggestion. Theo carried on, regardless of how that look made him feel—which wasn't great. "I saw you _rushing_ to aid me as I went down. You didn't have that wound of yours before I passed out so the rogue that got me must have gotten you too in your recklessness."

Fenris' eyes flashed with anger. " _My_ recklessness?" he snarled. "You are the one that followed the pirate into the ambush, the one who then got separated from the others and had to fight that warrior alone. And you are the one who did not see the stealthed rogue!"

Theo kept a smile on his face as best he could despite the truths Fenris spoke. "You didn't exactly warn me about him either, you know, and I did _try_ to stop Isabela. Honestly, once she's set her mind to something, that's it."

"It was foolish," Fenris growled.

Theo hated seeing him like this, mad and scared and stressed, especially when Theo had caused all of it, but Bethany was stitching up his wound with ease thanks to the distraction so Theo kept pushing him.

"So was refusing Anders' help and putting your fist through his chest." He shook his head in exasperation as Fenris' lip curled. "I _knew_ you didn't like Anders. I never should have asked you on this job tonight, especially not when you were so hungover—even now, you still stink of wine."

Fenris looked livid—so livid, Theo was pretty sure if the elf wasn't feeling weak and lightheaded that he'd be trying out his lyrium fist on Theo too. "You are one to talk, Hawke," the elf muttered. "You went into the ruins for that fugitive in a far worse state than I."

Theo shrugged easily. "Then I guess I'm better at handling my drink than you are because I didn't get injured at all that day."

"You would have, had I not saved your life at the Docks."

Theo's chest tightened, remembering how foolish and what a complete mess he'd been that day. Fen _had_ saved his life. And Theo had thanked him by throwing up on his feet and punching him in the face. He was such a douchebag sometimes—or almost all of the time.

He had to all but force the teasing look back to his face. "That's right, you did. Stayed out _all_ night long searching for me—which brings me back to the whole _you care_ thing." Something flashed in Fenris' eyes— something Theo was pretty sure was worry. He had no idea why that would be there but whatever Fenris had about to retort with was cut off as Bethany pulled back grinning.

"All done!" she said cheerily. Fenris blinked and looked down at the now stitched up wound with a frown. Bethany smirked at him. "Interesting distraction technique, brother."

Theo smiled and Fenris glanced at him, eyes a little wide. "You…" He sighed heavily then peered up at him from behind his fringe, his cheeks a little flushed. "Thank you."

"No problem," Theo said with a soft look. "Sorry for…riling you up. How'd you feel?"

"Better," Fenris said a little stiffly. "And yourself?"

"I feel like shit," Theo said with a wheezy laugh. "But I'll live."

"I'm going to check on the others," Bethany said as she got to her feet. "And just so you know, you're _both_ idiots." She smiled teasingly at them, then walked away.

Theo slumped against the wall next to Fenris, wincing heavily as his lungs continued to ache. There were a million and one things he wanted to say, to talk about with Fenris, but it was the elf who spoke first.

"You did not know how to fight that warrior, Hawke." Theo's brows arched a bit—of all the possible conversation topics to pick from, that was the last thing he had expected Fenris to bring up. "It was sheer chance that let you win in the end."

"What can I say? I'm the luckiest unlucky man to ever live," he said glibly, hoping humour would be enough to deflect this line of questioning. Naturally, he wasn't that lucky.

"You did not know what to do without your potions and flasks to aid you, without others to weaken him for you."

Realising Fenris wasn't going to drop it, Theo clenched his jaw and let out a rough breath. "I just panicked a bit, alright? I hate getting ambushed, and that was a really big group."

Fenris arched an unconvinced brow at him before tilting his head slightly. "I hadn't noticed until now, but you hold yourself like a bowman, not a duel wielder—your centre of gravity and stance is all wrong."

Theo let out a long, weary sigh. He should have expected this, someone realising that sooner or later. Now was just a really shitty time to go into it all. "That's because I was one, once."

"…Why are you not still an archer?"

"Because my bow broke."

Fenris looked at him with the most adorably confused frown Theo had ever seen and he couldn't help but laugh. "I mean…" He rubbed his face, sighing. Was he really going to talk about this, _now?_ His shoulders slumped when he saw the expectant look on Fenris' face. Apparently he was.

"It failed me, snapped in two when I was fighting off a group just like this. Father, he…" Theo swallowed thickly, hanging his head. He hated talking about this, about that day—about father and Tanner, not that he had any plans of mentioning Tanner to Fenris. "He died because of that bow breaking. I only just managed to kill the attackers with the daggers I'd picked up instead but by that point it was too late, he was dying—bleeding out on the ground." Theo tugged at the scarf around his neck, loosening it slightly as he tried to swallow around a thick lump in his throat. "Every time I've picked up a bow since, I've had flashbacks to that day. And I just can't, I can't use it. I know it's stupid, that the chances of another bow failing me like that are slim—that bow was old and never the strongest anyway—but it isn't rational. I can't even hold one without my hands trembling," he said ruefully. "I've used daggers ever since, but nobody was able to teach me how to use them properly."

Fenris nodded in understanding, his brows pulled together slightly. "You are self-taught," he stated. "That explains much." Theo nodded and watched as Fenris stared pensively ahead. "When I use these markings," he said, turning over his hand to reveal the lyrium along the inside of his forearm, "I am reminded of the day that I got them, of the agony that wiped everything else away, of all of the times Danarius had me kill with them. I am reminded that I am forever branded, forever marked as a slave. That does not stop me from using them however—they are an advantage that I cannot ignore, and because of them I am free."

Theo sucked in a shaky breath. "It's not… I'm not as strong as you, Fenris. I can't. I've tried. I've tried time and time again to pick the bow back up, but I can't." He sighed, hanging his head, but his gaze flicked up when he caught sight of Isabela walking over to them. She looked guilty—really guilty.

"Hawke…" she said as she worried at her lip.

He sighed a little wearily. "It's fine, Isabela."

She rubbed the back of her neck, looking anywhere but directly at him. "I wanted to thank you for… well, helping me. I'm sorry you both got hurt. If… if there's anything I can do to repay either of you…" she said finally looking at him a small smile at her lips.

Theo returned the expression. "You can buy me a drink. _Several_ drinks. And I'm sure Fenris wouldn't say no to a bottle of wine, or several, either."

"Done," she said, her smile brightening. It quickly turned into a smirk. "And if there's anything _else_ I can do to repay you with, I have a room at The Hanged Man."

He blushed a bit even as he chuckled, but his laugh soon turned into a painful cough instead. The pirate winced slightly but nodded before scarpering off. Theo groaned once she was gone and sucked in a few deep, if very painful, breaths. Despite the healing, his lungs were still _so_ fucked. He stilled as he felt Fenris' hand on touch shoulder and glanced at the elf, finding him blushing slightly, embarrassed by his attempt to provide comfort. Theo smiled.

"Thank you, by the way," he said softly. Fenris glanced at him questioningly. "For killing that rogue." Fenris gave him a stiff nod as he pulled his hand away from Theo's shoulder. "You keep saving my life, you know."

"It's nothing, Hawke."

"It isn't," Theo said firmly. "And hey, maybe I'll be able to make it up to you one of these days— _if_ you're planning on sticking around, that is." His gut actually twisted at the thought of Fenris leaving and he frowned a bit, unable to grasp just how quickly he'd gotten used to having Fenris around.

Much of his face hidden behind tuffs of white hair, Fenris gave him a side long glance. "Is there a reason I might not?"

"I…figured you'd had enough of me, what with you leaving The Hanged Man last night and how _cold_ you were with me earlier," he explained as his hands twisted apprehensively in his lap.

Fenris gaze drifted back to stare at the bloodied tiles in front of them. "It was not you I had a problem with, Hawke," he said flatly.

"Are you sure? I…I shouldn't have, with Anders. That was probably hurtful, after what I told you." He rubbed at his neck. "Drink…drink makes me do stupid shit," he sighed. "If I hadn't fled from you that night, I would have tried the same thing with you." He chanced a glance at Fenris and found the elf blushing and hiding behind his hair again. Theo cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'm sorry. My ' _it's just flirting'_ thing applies to everyone, just not when I'm drunk, apparently."

"It was clear to see that you liked the mage, Hawke." Theo winced slightly at the venom behind the word _mage,_ but he knew it wasn't going to be easy to explain this one. He _was_ attracted to Anders—there was no denying that—but it didn't _mean_ anything.

"Drunk me likes lots of things," he said carefully. "Sober me…sober me only likes one thing."

"Oh?"

Theo ducked his head and hid behind his hair. For some stupid reason, he hadn't expected Fenris to _ask_ about that. Knowing he wouldn't be able to lie, he did the only other thing he could—change the topic. "What is it about Anders that you don't like?" he asked, noticing the way Fenris tensed up again at the mere mention of the mage's name. "You're…civil with Bethany. Why is Anders any different?"

"Does it matter?"

"A bit? I mean, you _do_ need to work with him."

"I will endeavour not to _lyrium-fist_ him again," Fenris said, lip curling slightly.

Theo sighed, doubting he'd get anything more out of the elf, not with them both so tired and in pain. He waved the others back over.

Carver came toward them then with Varric and Bethany in tow. Anders wisely stayed away. "Alright, brother," Carver said. "Anders says you won't make it back to Lowtown without collapsing, and I am _not_ carrying you. So we're gonna rent you a room somewhere in Hightown."

Theo looked at his sibling sceptically, and then down at his tattered, sweat and blood stained shirt. "I doubt they'll let a Ferelden refugee stay in any of the inns up here, brother."

"My family has a house over in the Merchant's Guild…" Varric began. "Could maybe get one of the servants to sneak you in through the back – ah, but if Bartrand finds out, we'll end up regretting it; being nagged by my dimwit of a brother wouldn't exactly be restful." Varric stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I do have a few contacts up here though, I could see if any of them would be willing to put you up for a night or two?"

"And who are these contacts?" Bethany asked with a worried little frown.

"Mostly friends of friends… business acquaintances and the like," Varric explained. "I'm sure we can trust them."

"I don't like the sound of that, Varric," she admitted with a wrinkle of her nose.

"He can stay with me," Fenris said, making all of their eyes snap to him. Wait, _what_? Theo thought.

"That's really not necessary," Theo said quickly. "I'm sure I can get to Lowtown, it just might take a while." They all looked at him dubiously and he swallowed thickly. He did _not_ want to stay in a mansion with Fenris. Maker's breath, he was supposed to be putting distance between them both, not moving in with the good-looking bastard!

"Don't be any more of an idiot, brother," Bethany scolded but Theo could see a very evil looking twinkle in her eyes, one he was sure spelled trouble. "Fenris, that sounds perfect. Thank you."

"Then let's get you both back there," Varric said. Theo could have sworn there was a mischievous glint in the dwarf's eyes too and he swallowed thickly. This…this would not be good.


	18. Offer Of Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UST and angst time baby! *wicked grin* Some NSFW material too but if you're reading here I usually assume you're more than happy with that sort of thing ;) I had issues with this chapter too, wanted to rework it more or split it up or /something/ but I am forcing myself to post. So yeah, be gentle with me <3

Theo woke bewildered for a brief moment, until he realised why he was in a massive double bed with bright sunshine pouring in through the dusty window. He sighed contentedly and stretched his long legs out. He had to admit, there were some pleasant things about living in a mansion—he could certainly get used to a bed this size to stretch out on. And despite his sore back and less than perfect breathing, he had slept well.

He slowly sat himself up and dangled his legs over the side of the bed as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He tried sucking in a deep breath but his lungs tightened, making him wince in pain. They still bloody well hurt. He was eternally grateful, however, that he was currently wearing silk pyjamas rather than his rough cotton shirt—the silk was so _soft_ against his sore skin. Fenris had leant them to him, a black shirt and trousers. The shirt was a little tight across his chest so he had left it unbuttoned, but the trousers fit perfectly. He hadn't wanted to wear them at first, knowing that they belonged to the previous owner of the mansion; the thought of Danarius wearing these… He shuddered. Thankfully, the mansion hadn't actually been owned by Danarius - it belonged to some other Vint - so Theo had eventually accepted the silks with a nod of thanks.

He headed out onto the landing and listened to see if he could hear Fenris. He shook his head, smiling—even injured, Fenris was still silent on his feet. Navigating the stairs was tricky when he couldn't inhale more than short, shallow breaths. He found himself gripping the bannister with a white-knuckled grip to stop himself from falling down the steps as light-headedness struck him. It didn't help that his lungs seemed to be unable to decide if they wanted to ache, tingle or burn—right now he was stuck with a cold, dull ache, like he could still feel the metal in his back. Not exactly pleasant, that.

He really was an idiot for not noticing that rogue. Wasn't he usually perceptive? But of course he had been on an adrenaline high from nearly dying and killing that warrior, and then Fenris had been hit with that shield and he had just… charged in, letting his anger – and, was it protectiveness over Fenris? – get the better of him.

Theo reached the kitchen and put the kettle over the fire to let the water boil. Fenris must think him a right idiot. He'd seen him rush in without thinking a number of times now, despite Theo always bragging about how he liked to plan things thoroughly. Fenris had also seen him at his most violent and broken. He probably hated the fact that Theo was now staying in his house—he liked his privacy, after all, and now Theo was just here hobbling all over the place, probably annoying him with his heavy breathing. He frowned down at the kettle, wondering where all of these negative thoughts were coming from. Wasn't it a good thing if Fenris didn't like him very much? Didn't he _want_ that, want to push him away? He already knew the answer though.

"Has the kettle offended you?" Fenris asked in a deep rasp from the door.

Theo jumped, surprised by his sudden appearance. "Fenris!"

Theo squeaked, both from surprise and from actually looking at the elf. _Maker's clipped toenails!_ He was only wearing leggings – the tight leather ones – and his glorious lyrium laced torso was naked and glistening with drops of water as the elf went about drying his damp locks with a towel, completely indifferent to the effect it was having on his house guest. _Bloody hell_ , Theo thought as he tried desperately not to follow the trail of lyrium down past his navel to his… Oh bloody _fuck_.

He suddenly had an overwhelming urge to rush the elf, to throw him back against the door and then sink down to his knees and suck on his cock, wanting nothing more than to hear Fenris hiss in Tevene as his hands fisted in Theo's hair, clinging to him desperately, as Theo swallowed his dick down whole.

"Hawke?"

Theo blinked the thoughts away, shaking his head only to let out a small gasp as Fenris surged toward him—for the briefest of seconds Theo thought Fenris was coming at him to kiss him or _something_ , but no, he was just pulling the apparently loudly hissing kettle off the fire. Theo let out a relieved breath—know that, if Fenris did kiss him, he'd be lost to it, lost to him in an instant—and relaxed his shoulders some. Green eyes watched him through a furrowed brow as Fenris placed the kettle on the side. The last thing he wanted or needed was Fenris asking him why he as behaving the way he was, so he grabbed two mugs instead.

"Tea?" Theo asked squeakily. Maker, he sounded like his mother with his voice pitched so high. He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the lump lodged in it as he began pouring out the water, not waiting for the elf's reply.

"You look dazed. Sit. I'll bring it over."

Theo nodded, mumbling, and sat down at the small table. His eyes found Fenris' back, tracing the lyrium whorls that decorated it. The elf really was gorgeous. He knew the lyrium wasn't given to Fenris by choice, that it was painful, that it disgusted him, but that still didn't detract from the tattoos' beauty, and they only added to Fenris'.

Fenris placed a steaming mug in front of him and then sat opposite him with his own. He was still shirtless, his hair damp, the white strands curling a little against his dark cheeks, and Theo was staring, _again._ He forced himself to look down into his mug instead.

"Sleep well?" Theo asked even as he tried not to picture the elf sleeping… or how he slept – would he be naked? Armoured? Just in a shirt and trews? Maker, his mind really wasn't going to give this shit a rest this morning.

"Well enough. And yourself?"

"Mmm." Theo smiled. "I've never slept in a double bed before," he admitted.

"I believe that one was queen sized, actually."

Theo smirked. "Well, I wouldn't know the difference. Anything is better than that pallet I call a bed at the moment." He took a cautious sip of his tea, watching Fenris as he did so. "How's your side this morning? I still feel awful that you got hurt because I was an idiot."

"It's fine."

"Oh, so you agree I was an idiot, then?" He grinned, and a smile twitched at Fenris' lips.

"What of your back?" the elf asked.

Theo rolled his shoulders, wincing slightly. "It still feels like I have two blades inside me, to be honest." He started to smirk. "I always had wondered how painful double penetration would be."

Fenris spat out his tea and coughed loudly, trying to clear the drink from his lungs and that only made Theo snicker as well, not that his laughter lasted long before he too was spluttering and coughing thanks to the sorry state of his lungs and back.

"I'm sorry," Theo wheezed with a contrite grin on his face. "That was terrible."

Fenris smirked in reply. "So long as you don't decide to impale yourself with a greatsword next…"

That had Theo cackling again and he nearly fell out of his chair as pain exploded out through his upper back and lungs. "Agh fuck," he groaned even as he continued to chuckle. "You volunteering to impale me?"

Fenris shook his head, smiling and Theo grinned back. He really ought to stop the bad jokes and shameless flirting but… he couldn't—knew he wouldn't be able to, but so long as he didn't let it go further it would be harmless, or so he hoped.

"So, I'm guessing we're both rather house bound today. I think my sister mentioned popping by to check on things, though." Fenris nodded thoughtfully. "So, what should we do today?"

Fenris shrugged a shoulder. "I usually train when I am not with you."

"What, all day?"

"As much as I am able."

"No wonder you always kick my ass when we race," he said with a smile.

"The training has little do to with it."

"Bastard," Theo laughed as he watched Fenris trying his best to hide a smile as he sipped his tea.

"I will do stretches instead," Fenris decided.

" _Stretches?_ " Theo squeaked.

"Yes. You may join me and combine it with the breathing exercises you're supposed to be doing."

The Maker was trying to kill him, he was sure of it. "Sounds great," he said, his voice still pitched high.

"Are you certain your throat was not harmed by those blades too, Hawke?"

"Yes," he said quickly, his voice still high. He cleared his throat. "It's fine, I'm fine." Theo gulped down some more of his tea, even as Fenris remained sceptical. "So what should we do for breakfast?"

"I have porridge."

He laughed. "Porridge it is then," he said with a wry smile.

* * *

 

Bethany sighed as she lay back against the edge of their tub with the water steaming around her and filling the room with the scent of vanilla and wildflowers. She felt like she hadn't had a proper bath for weeks, which might have been true— she'd lost track of time recently. Her nose twitched at the thought. Grabbing her soap, she sat up and began washing herself.

Even though she knew there wasn't blood on her hands, she still felt like there was. She couldn't get the image of Theo just lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood out of her head, of how hot and wet it had felt on her hands as she held him in her arms. He had never been hurt that badly before—he was usual fairly careful, always planning and preparing before a fight—but last night's ambush had surprised them all and there had been no time for careful plans.

She couldn't help but think that if Theo still used a bow, he wouldn't have been hurt because he wouldn't have rushed over to Fenris' side—he simply would have picked the thugs off from afar. He also wouldn't have taken so long against that warrior because he had been a good shot back in the day and would have been able to get a bolt through that warrior bastard's eye slit with ease.

She sighed. There was no use thinking about that—he was never going to pick up a bow again. That didn't mean she couldn't get him some training against a warrior though… In fact, she had suggested as much to Fenris the night before while Theo was getting settled into his temporary bedroom with Varric and Carver.

Her guilt at Theo getting hurt—at her not even noticing it—had only worsened upon arriving home, too, with mother seeing their blood stained clothes and no sign of Theo and immediately falling to her knees. They had explained quickly what had happened, reassuring her that he was alive and okay but she had wanted to see him with her own eyes. They'd had to block the door just to stop her marching up to Hightown then and there and searching every single mansion until she found the one with Theo in it. No doubt she would want to go up there today too, but Bethany knew it would be for the best if she didn't. Theo was still in a pretty bad way when she had left him last night, and he needed to rest without mother worrying and fussing over him—it would only make him feel guilty and that was the last thing he needed right now. And the last thing mother needed was to see that grimy mansion with blood coated floors, even if they _had_ successfully convinced Fenris to remove the corpses at long last.

She needed to go check on Theo and Fenris soon, actually, but she rather liked the idea of leaving them alone just a little while longer. Despite Theo snogging Anders' brains out at The Hanged Man, Bethany knew it was little more than superficial attraction between the mage and her brother, but with Fenris... the fact that he was fighting his feelings for the elf so much spoke volumes of just how strongly he already felt, and it was driving her mad that Theo kept pushing him away. It had been years since Tanner, and even mother had recently spoken of remarrying once she got the estate back and she lost father on the same day that Theo lost Tanner—if she could consider moving on, then Theo should be able to as well.

She hopped out of the bath, dried and dressed, and then headed into the living room just as mother and Carver started bickering, again.

"He is my son. I should be there for him, looking after him!"

"You know what Theo's like, he won't want you fussing and worrying."

"He is my _boy_. My eldest boy and he is hurt. Carver Aristide Hawke, tell me where this mansion is."

"Mother," Bethany gently scolded. "He needs to rest, that's all. He will be back before you know it."

"But you are visiting him today. Why don't I come with you, just to—"

"No. You'll only worry more seeing him in pain. And that will make him worry. He needs to _rest_ ," she said again. Their mother sighed and looked on the verge of tears. "He's fine. I promise," she said, rubbing her mother's back.

"My poor baby," mother sobbed. Bethany pulled her into a hug and Carver gave her a sympathetic smile.

**…**

Having finally calmed their mother down, Carver and Bethany set out to deliver some food to Lirene's, as well as Theo and Fenris since mother had apparently been worry-baking all morning leaving them with a surplus of bread in the house.

"I asked Gamlen to keep mother company while you were loading up the bread," Carver said as they headed down the steps. "He didn't seem too keen on the idea until I reminded him that if mother went knocking on doors in Hightown until she found Theo that she'd only drag him back here sooner – and that Theo gets even more annoying when he's injured." He smiled down at her and she chuckled.

"It's true, he's an awful patient. And I can just imagine mother doing that," she sighed.

"She's as stubborn as us."

"I don't blame her for being worried though. Maker, seeing him like that, with all that blood…" She shuddered and Carver squeezed her hand.

"I know. I thought that was it." He shook his head. "Anders said if that blade had been half an inch to the right…" Bethany went pale at that and Carver looked at her, wincing. "Sorry. But it's alright, he's tough. He's a Hawke."

She nodded. "Come on, the sooner we get to Lirene's, the sooner we can go check on him and Fenris."

* * *

 

Anders bit into the slightly stale bread, his features turned down in a frown. His chest still bloody ached from that savage elf plunging his entire gauntleted fist into him. Anders had just been trying to help the bastard. He hated people like that, who blindly feared and hated all mages just because of a few bad experiences – they weren't as bad as those who hated and feared for no reason other than the Chantry telling them to, but still, Fenris had needed healing! He had been completely ridiculous. If it weren't for Hawke… He shook his head, his frown deepening. Well, he knew better than to try to help that inconsiderate brute now; next time he'd just let him bleed out.

"I know the bread's not that great, Blondie, but does it really deserve such a scowl?" Varric asked from the seat next to him.

Anders rolled his eyes.

"You're brooding over Broody still?"

"Well, don't you think I have every right to be?" Anders asked. "He put his hand through my chest!"

"Oh please, don't tell me you wouldn't want that hand doing that _elsewhere,_ " Isabela said, smirking as she joined them at the table.

"Of course I don't! He's a bloody bastard."

"The elf was just scared, Blondie."

"That's no excuse to get violent, not when I was trying to help him."

"Well, looks like you'll get another chance at helping someone soon," Varric said suddenly, looking toward the door.

"Anders!" Carver shouted. "We need your help." There was a young unconscious boy in his arms and Anders was on his feet before Carver had even placed him down on a table.

"I need supplies – towels, water, anything you can find," he said automatically as he began running his hands over the boy. "And Carver, I'll need you outside to watch for Templars." Carver nodded and disappeared out of the door.

"Oh please, please save 'im," a red-haired girl said, her big blue eyes watery and pleading with him.

"I'll do what I can," Anders said with a small smile. He let his magic flow over the boy's head, trying to figure out why he wasn't conscious. There was nothing he could find wrong initially, but then he noticed that the boy's blood wasn't right. A larger search found the problem: a cut on his foot had become infected and it had gotten into his blood stream. He pulled the boy's boots off and his nose crinkled at the smell of the rotting flesh.

"Blood and shit," the girl cursed. "'Ow'd he go do that?"

Anders looked up at Bethany. "I'll need your help with this." She nodded in reply and Anders turned his attention to the girl. "It might be best if you wait outside, this won't be the most pleasant thing to see."

"No," the girl said, "I ain't leavin' my lil bro."

"Your brother will be fine," Bethany said. "Anders is the best healer I know but he won't be able to work if the Templars come and stop him… And two sets of eyes outside are better than one, especially when Carver was the best look out."

The girl nodded feebly, her lips trembling before she made her way outside.

Carver leant against the wall, sighing. He felt helpless with that kid. They had arrived at Lirene's ready to hand over the bread, but had found the entire shop in a panic around that unconscious boy with the girl, his sister, in hysterics. Carver had done the only thing he could: he'd grabbed him and told her he knew a healer, hoping that Anders was still at The Hanged Man. But that was all he could do; he wasn't like Bethany, versed in healing with and without magic, and he had been just as useless with Theo getting hurt the night before. He really had thought his brother was gone, and like Bethany, he hadn't even noticed Theo was in any kind of trouble until Anders was shouting at Fenris to get his armour off. Carver didn't admit it often, but Theo did a lot to keep them all safe, and as much as Carver usually tried to take the brunt of hits for his brother, he had failed last night in doing that. He had been focusing instead on keeping Bethany safe—he'd just assumed Theo would be okay because he was fleet-footed. He usually was.

The door opened behind him and the tearful girl stepped out. Her blue eyes locked with his and she gave him a small smile as she came to lean against the wall with him, her lip trembling still.

"Thems inside said I should 'elp you watch out for the Templars while he works on me brother," she explained.

"Sure," he said with a small smile. "I'm Carver, by the way."

"Yasmin, and that lil runt in there's Mattie."

Carver nodded, smiling softly. "Anders is a good healer, your brother will be fine," he reassured her.

She sniffed, eyes uncertain. "I ain't ever seen him like that. He just won't wake." She swallowed, and then her eyes roamed over him and a little frown formed between her thick red brows. "You some sort of mercenary, then?"

He shifted on his feet slightly as her gaze lingered on him. "What makes you think that?"

"Tha' bloody big sword on yer back, for one, and them tree trunks you got instead o' arms."

He laughed a little awkwardly as his cheeks flushed. "I was. I'm not anymore. Well, not really."

"No taste for killin' folks no more?" she asked as she wiped her nose.

He handed her a hanky. "It's clean," he promised with a smile. She took it with a nod and blew her nose. "And I wasn't a mercenary by choice. We just did what we had to in order to keep our family safe after fleeing from the Blight."

"You Fereldan then?"

"Can't you tell? Everyone else in this city seems to know it just by looking at us."

She smiled. "You _is_ awfully pale." She shrugged. "In Darktown, it don't matter much where ye come from. We all got the same lot: shit poor with nout to our names but dirt."

"You have your brother, at least."

"True enough, and half a dozen more little ones too," she said with a shake of her head. "They ain't mine, if that's what you was wondering. Most are just half brothers or sisters. 'Nd some are adopted little orphans 'ose parents left 'em or died."

"Maker, that can't be easy. It's hard enough watching out for my brother, sister and mother as is."

"That were your sister inside, right?"

"Yeah, her name's Bethany."

Yasmin nodded. "She a mage too?" Carver tensed and Yasmin smiled. "It's alright you big lout— I ain't gonna be shouting for the metal heads to come get her. I ain't never liked them fuckers."

"Nor have I," he said darkly, frowning slightly.

"Tell me then, muscles: what would ye do if a Templar up and strolled by right now fancying an ale at this 'ere tavern with them mages casting inside?"

Carver blinked at her. "I… guess I'd try to distract them."

"And just 'ow would _you_ do that?"

"I don't know," he said, feeling flustered all of a sudden.

She snorted, shaking her head. "Right useful one you are. Good thing yor sis sent me out to 'elp ya then, eh?"

He narrowed his eyes at the red-haired girl, folding his arms. "Why, what would _you_ do?"

She arched an eyebrow at him then motioned to her body. "Please, who don't love a red 'ead?"

He tried to hide his smile but failed. "Oh so what, you'd just flirt with them in hopes they'd forget about their patrol or wanting a drink?"

"Who says I'd only flirt?" she said with a smirk. He blushed and she gave him a toothy grin. "'Sides, don't ye think I'm sexy enough to pull it off?"

"Uhh, I didn't mean-"

She grinned again. "Yous is too easy."

The door to The Hanged Man opened and Bethany poked her head out, a smile at her lips. "Anders reckons he will be waking up any moment."

Yasmin smiled in delight and gave Carver a quick glance. "Maybe you come by sometime an' I'll show you 'ow I goes 'bout being distractin' like," she said with a wink before heading back into the tavern, leaving Carver blushing out in the street.

Anders smiled as he watched the two siblings embracing, the girl with a huge relieved smiled and the little boy looking exasperated at his sister smothering him to death with cuddles. It felt amazing to help them, to bring that little boy back from the brink of death like that, to see how happy the sister was and how full of life the boy now looked after having been unconscious and unresponsive just moments ago. Anders had felt the same thing the previous night, saving Hawke, even if it had been brief.

He couldn't help but recall a conversation he'd had with Justice back in Amaranthine about using his magic for good. Admittedly, minus killing things with it, Anders didn't use his magic all that much. He certainly hadn't used it to _help_ people for a long while. Back when he was still in the Circle, he'd often used healing magic on his escapes as a means of getting people to help him. In return for him healing them, he'd get a bed for the night and a hot meal, some would even give him a ride to the next town over the morning after. There hadn't been a single person he hadn't been able to win over, either with magic, charm or his body. And he missed seeing how grateful people could be, how good it felt to make a difference like that, not just to them but to the reputation of mages everywhere. After his confrontation with Fenris, it was clear some people sorely needed to see the good mages were capable of.

"Anders," Bethany said, getting his attention. He looked at her with a smile, then noticed the skinny woman to her right. "This is Lirene, she's been helping the Ferelden refugees these past couple of years."

"Sounds like you've been busy, then."

"That I have. Wish I could have done more for them all though. The sick… I had little means to help them with their ailments." She gave him a warm and grateful look. "I cannot thank you enough for helping us today, messere."

"It was my pleasure."

"Bethany here tells me you're a healer, one of the best she's ever seen," Lirene went on to say.

"I'm pretty good, it's true," he said, smirking.

Lirene smiled and bit her lip slightly. "Would you consider doing this sort of thing more frequently?"

His head tilted slightly. "Healing people, you mean?"

Lirene nodded. "You could save lives – you already _have_ —and Maker knows we need someone like you 'round here, now more than ever."

"Anders, you have to wait until _you know who_ gets here anyway," Bethany said. "Why not do something in the meantime instead of following my brother around all day?"

He smirked, unable to resist the remark. "I dunno, Bethany, I rather enjoy the view doing that."

She rolled her eyes but there was a smile at her pretty lips. "I'm serious Anders. I'd do it myself but…"

"No. I'll do it," he said. "There's no reason you should draw that much attention to yourself. I'm a Warden, I'll be relatively safe." Or so he hoped. He knew he wasn't supposed to anger the Templars here, but in theory they wouldn't be able to touch him, and after seeing that little boy… knowing there were others right now dying, people he knew he could help, well, he couldn't very well say no, especially not when he was spending his days drinking in a tavern.

"Help enough people, Blondie," Varric said, having suddenly appeared behind him, "and you'll soon be protected from them even finding out about you. Until then, I'll make sure you're safe. Maker knows this city could use you."

Anders nodded. "Then it's settled. Where do we do this?" he asked, looking between them all.

"Darktown, although not the nicest place in the world, would probably be the safest for you," Lirene suggested. "Templars rarely visit the Undercity. That also happens to be where the people most in need of a healer live."

"Alright… if this is going to be a proper clinic, we'll need supplies, furniture…"

"I can help with that," Isabela said, smirking. Anders glanced at her, brow arched and she looked at him, shrugging. "What? I know people."

"I can help too, Blondie."

"Thanks. I'll write a list." He wasn't sure what Neri would think of this—as long as he wasn't in any danger, she probably wouldn't mind but, then again, that depended on just how disgusting this Darktown place was.

* * *

 

Theo stroked himself faster, letting his thumb slip over the swollen head of his cock with each stroke. The stretching had gone about as well as he had imagined it would. Fenris was utterly oblivious to how tight his leathers were and had spent over an hour doing his 'stretches' in front of Theo, bending over in the sexiest and most erotic positions Theo's poor mind had ever seen. The long lines of the elf's body had looked incredible bent over as he touched the ground with his fingers, leaving that pert little ass of his sticking up in the air, and Theo had wanted to strip those leathers off of him and do incredibly indecent things with him. He had just been relieved that his silk trousers were loose while he had done his breathing exercises and stretches with the elf—otherwise Fenris would have seen him stretching an entirely _different_ muscle.

He had managed to end the session early, complaining that his back ached, and had then slipped upstairs to the washroom, hoping to cool down. That had failed spectacularly as he found the tub still covered in drops of water, drops of water that had reminded Theo of how Fenris had looked with wet hair, his skin still glistening with water from his bath – his bath in this very tub. Theo had then started picturing Fenris, naked, in the tub, dunking himself under the water to wash his hair, stretching his legs out to wash them, stroking his slender elven cock as his head fell back… Theo had been given no choice after that to take himself in hand in an attempt to lessen his frustrations. Apparently being locked up with Fenris, both of them injured and unable to even leave the house, had been the catalyst for his cock and head to start working together to make his life a living hell. He could deal with one of them tempting him with delicious ideas of Fenris, but both? He was so completely fucked.

He came all over the bathtub, his seed coating the edges, mingling with the clear droplets of water that remained. He felt dirty for having stooped this low at all but it was either this or storming back down those stairs and fucking the elf hard. This really was the better of the two options. He washed down the tub with a sigh, tucked himself back in and then headed back downstairs—if he was gone too long, Fenris would only come looking for him, concerned for his wellbeing or some shit.

He found Fenris still stretching. This time he was on his knees, his arms touching the ground, outstretched in front of him, giving his back this gorgeous curve to it. Theo could imagine Fenris looming over him like that in perfect detail, those slim elven hips snapping forward, Theo's arms held above his head, pinned there by one calloused hand…

He shook his head, trying to banish such thoughts. If he was already thinking about Fenris fucking _him_ , then he was in real trouble because he usually only did that with people he… He swallowed thickly. He had not fallen this hard for someone since Tanner and he couldn't believe he was allowing it to happen again at all, not after how that had ended.

Fenris glanced over his shoulder, obviously having heard him approach and caught him staring. Theo looked away quickly, swallowing but he could see Fenris shift and sit up. "Hawke." The elf stood, watching him a moment, the hair over his eyes, leaving them more unreadable than usual. "I thought on what you said," he began as he stepped toward Theo. "I thought that perhaps I could train with you to fight better against-"

Theo's eyes widened in alarm. "No," he blurted.

_Train_ him? Stretching had been bad enough, he absolutely could not handle having one-on-one training sessions with Fenris, with both of them clashing blades, getting sweaty, grunting from the hard blows… He blinked, shaking his head and found Fenris frowning at him.

"Hawke, it would benefit you greatly to know how to-"

"I said no." He turned away from Fenris and the elf cursed under his breath. "I'm fine as I am."

Tanner had trained with him at dawn every single day with the bow. He'd been right behind him, pulling Theo's arms into position, getting his feet in the right stance, his hot breath always at Theo's neck. It had been… intimate, the start of their relationship. He could not – would not – do that again with another, especially one he was falling hard for.

"That warrior nearly killed you, Hawke." There was a weary tone to Fenris' voice, like he already knew Theo was going to be too stubborn to come around on this. He'd be right.

Theo turned, glaring. "Really? I could have sworn it was the rogue in stealth who buried his daggers in my back, not that plated prick that nearly killed me."

Theo was pretty sure Fenris rolled his eyes but the action was brief, if there at all. "A lack of focus led to that injury, not a lack of skill," he pointed out. "Getting corned by that warrior, however, was due to your inexperience."

Theo's hands clenched at his side. He knew he had fucked up in that fight; he didn't need Fenris pointing it out to him over and over. "So I won't let myself get cornered again. I don't need you training me."

"Last night's battle proved you cannot rely on your flasks to get you out of every situation, nor will your family always be there to distract the warriors for you in a fight."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Theo snapped, images of his siblings and mother staring up at him, dead-eyed in his arms flitting through his head.

Fenris sighed. "I only meant that they cannot always be at your side. They are not joined to your hip."

"No, but you certainly seem to be," Theo muttered resentfully, even though he knew it was the other way around. He was the one attached to Fenris. The elf's eyes narrowed and there was a subtle tensing to his shoulders, one that made Theo think he had hit a nerve.

"If you do not wish my company, Hawke, say so. That does not change the fact that a lesson or two could save your life, however."

"It won't just be a lesson or two with you," Theo retorted, sighing. "And I don't… I like your company. That's half the fucking problem." He ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head as Fenris watched him with his habitual unreadable expression.

"Why is that a problem?"

Theo groaned. "Bloody hell, can we just not?" he said with a glance at the elf. "I don't want you training me, end of discussion, Fenris."

Fenris shifted and folded his arms, a stance Theo usually only ever saw from his mother or Bethany before he got a scolding. "What will you do the next time you face a warrior alone?"

"I don't know! Stab it probably."

"Hawke…"

"No," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Bela owes me one, she can train me instead."

Emotions too fast to read flittered over the elf's face then he straightened, taking in a deep patient breath. "Her style of fighting is highly skilled and often face-on. It would take you a great deal of time to learn the flourishes and parries she is capable of. It is also not what you require. Speed and perceptiveness are your usual strengths, Hawke. They just need to be honed for use against well-armoured foes."

"And you're some expert on that, are you?" Theo snapped, his teeth gnashing together.

"For years, I was Danarius' body guard. And for years I trained others for him. I learnt how enemies attacked, what they were weak to, what their strengths were. I don't claim to be an expert, but I could help."

"Well I don't need, or want, your help."

"Why?" Fenris asked, his brows furrowed and there was a slight edge to his voice that Theo couldn't quite decipher. He was hurting him, he realised, but he couldn't stop now. He just wanted this conversation over. He didn't _want_ to discuss any of this with Fenris.

"Because I don't."

"That is not an answer, Hawke."

"Oh, because you _always_ give such elaborate answers," he scoffed.

"I am not the one acting irrationally."

"I'm not being bloody irrational!" Theo snapped, his anger flaring. Fenris watched him, one brow arched slightly, only just visible through the white hair thinly veiling his eyes. Theo sighed and ran a hand over his bearded jaw. "Why do you care?" he deflected.

"Your sister asked me to speak with you about this."

"So?"

"Like her, I do not wish to see you in harm's way or injured again, not if there is something that can be done to lessen such likelihoods."

"It's not going to happen again! It was a one-time mistake, that's all."

"You did not see your sister holding your unconscious body, Hawke. Would you really put her through that again?"

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, his blood boiling beneath the surface of his skin. "Don't bring them into this," he warned quietly.

"Why not? They are the only thing that gets through to you when you are behaving like this."

"Fuck you." Theo stormed toward the door, needing to get out of there, but Fenris beat him to it, placing his hand firmly against the door, holding it shut. "Open the fucking door, Fenris," Theo seethed at him.

"Not until you tell me why you will not let me train you."

"I don't want to discuss it!" Theo tried to shove past Fenris but the elf grabbed a hold of his wrists and pinned them across his chest before crushing him to the door. Heat flared in his groin at how erotic this was, but it was drowned out by his panic and anger. "What the bloody fuck are you doing?" Theo hissed at the elf who was staring at him, lip twisted in a sneer, green eyes narrowed.

"Forcing you to discuss it. You cannot run from this, Hawke."

"I wasn't running away from this, I was running from _you_ ," Theo snapped as he twisted his wrists and pulled them downwards, freeing himself of Fenris' grip. He pushed the surprised elf backwards with a growl. Fenris, for once, had an emotion Theo knew all too well contorting his features: hurt. Such an expression on Fenris' face made Theo's gut twist uncomfortably and he swallowed thickly.

"Why?" Fenris asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

He knew it was better for Fenris to hate him, to never see him again, but he couldn't do it, he couldn't bloody do that to him. Theo slammed his fist into the door frame, cursing. "Because you remind me of him, okay!?" he admitted, shaking his head with anger.

Fenris frowned.

"You remind me of my dead…my dead…" His face scrunched up. "What do you even call someone like that? Lover? Partner? _Soul mate_?"

Hot trails on his cheeks were the only thing that made him realise he was crying and Theo wiped at them angrily, unable to look at Fenris. But he was talking now and he couldn't bloody stop. "He trained me to use the bow. Every day. It was our thing. It's how our relationship began… but he's gone, he was killed. And I can't… I can't do that again, not with someone I-" He cut himself off, teeth sinking deep into his lip. More tears fell and he let out a shuddering breath.

When he finally glanced at Fenris again, he found the elf staring at him, mouth slightly open with surprise, perhaps, his eyes soft at the edges with sympathy, his expression twisted a little with guilt.

"I…did not know, Hawke."

Theo sniffed wetly and wiped at his face. "I know. It's okay. I just… I can't talk about _that_ easily. I just want to flee whenever it gets mentioned. I didn't mean to… hurt you. I get nasty when I feel trapped and it was uncalled for to snap at you like-"

"Hawke," Fenris said, voice soft. The elf took a step forward and Theo didn't flinch away. "You don't need to…" He sighed a bit. "I understand."

Theo nodded, eyes still watery. His fingers were curled tightly around his scarf, he realised, and he forced them to relax. "I _do_ appreciate you wanting to help...and I…I _know_ I could do with more training… It's just too close to what I had with him and things…things that remind me of him just end up making me distracted or on edge and that wouldn't help when you're trying to train me anyway-"

Fenris gave him a gentle nod. "I understand."

Theo sucked in a shaky breath, nodding his own head too. "Maybe you can…give me tips without actually training with me, or…or something?"

Fenris smiled softly, more with his eyes than a curl of his lips. "Of course, Hawke."

They both jumped as there was suddenly a loud knock at the door and both of them glanced at each other to let out a slightly embarrassed chuff of laughter. Fenris cleared his throat before opening it. Theo knew his siblings would visit, but he was still surprised to see them seeing as his mind was still trying to recover from everything that had just happened.

His sister, he noticed, was smiling and giving them both that coy look of hers that meant she was up to no good, or had been up to no good, or was going to be up to no good… Theo could never tell quite which it was, but knowing her it could be all three at once. Carver just looked curious.

"Hello," Bethany said sweetly as she kissed her brother on the cheek and then smiled at Fenris. "How do you both feel?"

"Fine," Hawke said, his voice a little rough, his eyes glazed over still as if he remained lost to the memories that Fenris had recently brought to the surface. Fenris gave the mage and her twin a nod. "I'll let you see to Fenris first. I'll put on some tea," Hawke said before walking off, his hands stuffed into his pyjama pockets, back arched as he slumped. When Fenris returned his gaze to the siblings, they were watching him with brows arched.

"Alright, what happened?" Bethany asked. He frowned and she rolled her eyes. "He looked… defeated. And not in the 'you just beat him at a race' way, either."

Fenris sighed and Bethany's brows furrowed. "Come on, I'll check your wound and we can talk." She gave Carver a look and he nodded.

"I'll go help Theo with the tea."

Reluctantly, Fenris followed Bethany to one of the mansion's side rooms and sat down on the arm rest of an old chair. The gentle brush of her fingers against his side lifting up his shirt so she could access the bandages made him shiver but it was nothing like the feeling of repulsion he got around the other mage. It was odd to think he could trust any mage to get this close to him, to tend to him, but he trusted her enough to know that she meant no harm.

"So?" she asked as she began to clean the wound. Fenris glanced at her but her dark eyes were fixed on his wound, her brows knitting together in concentration as she got to work. He looked forward again, his fingers tapping slightly against his thigh.

"I offered to train him, at your suggestion."

She hummed, nodding. "It didn't go over well, I take it?"

Fenris shook his head. He had to admit, he had been relieved, as terrible as such a thing sounded, when Hawke had finally revealed the truth to him. Hawke's unwillingness to explain or discuss the matter was so stark to his usual honesty that, throughout their conversation, Fenris had been unable to stop himself from thinking that Hawke no longer wished his company at all. He had thought that his actions the night before with his outburst at the mage had been too much, and Hawke now wanted Fenris out of his life for fear of his sister's safety. Half a dozen other reasons had flitted through his mind, only reinforced by the fact that Hawke had commented about Fenris being joined to his hip.

It had echoed a little too closely to Fenris' own thoughts that Hawke was replacing Danarius; that he had become little more than a leashed dog, never far from his side. Hawke's suggestion to train with the pirate only solidified that—it was clear that the problem was not the training itself, but the giver of it. But then Hawke had finally revealed the truth and Fenris had found the tension he'd been feeling melt away. He wasn't sure why it was there at all…but he was glad it was gone.

"He refused. After pressing him, he explained that he trained with his former lover, and that he could not do so with another."

Bethany inhaled sharply and Fenris looked back at her. "Darn it," she cursed, shaking her head. "I should have known he'd react like this. I just thought… it's been _years_." She shook her head. "And I can't believe he talked to you about Tanner! He _never_ talks about Tanner."

"He mentioned no names."

"Oh well, that was his name. He was our neighbour back in Lothering. Theo and he hit it off from day one—they were inseparable." Her voice had taken a wistful note to it, her eyes sad as she looked back up at him. "What did he say, exactly?" she asked.

"That I reminded Hawke of him."

"Maker," Bethany breathed out. "It makes sense, I suppose. You look nothing alike but you have been spending a lot of time together. You make him smile and laugh, just as Tanner did, and if he's telling you things like that, then he must trust you completely, and trust does not come easily to my brother, not since Tanner's death." Fenris stared at her as she got lost in her melancholy. He had thought that Hawke had only meant that training with Fenris reminded him of his ex. What Bethany was suggesting was… He swallowed a little thickly. That and the fact that Hawke apparently trusted him were…conundrums. Fenris wasn't sure he'd given the rogue _any_ reason to trust him, yet apparently he did. And there was some small part of Fenris that was glad for it, perhaps because he trusted Hawke, too.

"What happened?" Fenris found himself asking. "To Tanner," he clarified.

"It was a hunting trip," Bethany said sadly. She pulled up a chair and sat in it with a sigh. "Theo, Tanner and father all left that morning. I don't know the details of what happened out there - Theo has never properly spoken about it - but only _he_ came back." She took a shaky breath. "He wasn't the same after that. He doesn't let anyone close now, although he's doing a terrible job of that lately," she said with a coy smile. "But I think he thinks that the more people he lets in, the more likely it is for one of them to die. It's more people he has to keep track of and watch out for."

"He truly fears that?"

"I believe so. He blames himself for their deaths." She smiled sadly. "You've seen how he gets."

Fenris nodded.

"I do know one thing for sure though: since leaving the Red Irons, since he met you and Varric, I've slowly been getting my brother back. So thank you, Fenris."

His eyes widened a touch, mouth opening to speak but no words came out. So, instead, he simply nodded and let her continue with tending to his wound.

**…**

Carver found Theo with his arms leant on the counter, head bowed, as he sucked in deep, shaky breaths. "Brother?" he said cautiously from the doorway.

Theo's head turned slightly, but he didn't properly look at him. "I'm alright, just need a moment."

Carver knew his brother only had panic attacks when Tanner or father got mentioned. He wasn't sure exactly how this one had been triggered, but he stepped fully into the kitchen and put the kettle over the fire for him.

"He wanted to train with me," Theo said, still a bit breathless. "Like…like Tanner used to do."

Carver leant against the counter, arms folded, and sighed. "He just wants to help, brother. Think of all the things you've done for him—teaching him how to skin animals, cook… I saw you looking at our old children's books yesterday morning too. You want to teach him to read and write, don't you?" Theo glanced up at him, eyes softening. "Fenris is great at a few select skills, so maybe he feels like he owes you, and training people is one of the things he happens to be good enough to do."

"I…I know. I just freaked out, and hyperventilating is the last thing I need right now with my lungs aching so much."

Carver nodded. "You need to not think about it for a bit, seeing as you can't run from it all this time," he said. Theo let out a shaky breath of laughter. "Maybe once your head's clearer you can talk with him more about it all?"

"Maybe," Theo said, nodding a bit.

Carver took that as his cue to change the subject. He dumped a sack filled to the brim with bread down on the counter. "The results of mother's worry baking," he explained.

Theo scrubbed at his forehead. "I hate it when she's worried."

Carver gave him a look. "That's how we feel when you constantly worry about all of _us_."

Theo smiled a little ruefully. "I must have gotten it from her but at least she deals with her worry in healthy ways."

"To be fair, you're under a lot more stress than she is," Carver said. "But you don't have to be…" He rubbed at the back of his neck. He wanted to step up, he wanted to help, but talking about it wasn't exactly easy, he was finding.

"Bethany doesn't have a single scratch on her," Theo said, gaze meeting his. "You protected her well in that shit show last night. So well, I wasn't worried about her at all." There was an almost guilty look in his brother's eyes and Carver tilted his head, suddenly understanding.

"You were worried about Fenris."

Theo swallowed, nodding. "I only get reckless for those I care about. Like when that dragon clawed you and I climbed up its back? I saw Fenris fighting alone, saw him take a shield to his face and I just…ran in."

"You'd have done the same for Varric, maybe even Bela," Carver tried to reason.

"Maybe."

"There's nothing wrong with caring about others, brother."

"There is when you care too much, too soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Anders gets his clinic, boring? Maybe—but I always did like that he had a clinic in the game. Thankfully, he won't be quite so obsessed with it without Justice guilt-tripping him all the time now. Aaand Carver will be getting a sort of LI thing with Yasmin, most likely, because the poor boy deserves sex with someone that Theo hasn't fucked and that isn't him just pining after Merrill for years and years while she plays dumb.
> 
> Anyway, lots more Theo and Fenris interaction in this one. Angst and all that Tanner stuff. Hope you liked it! Do let us know you're thoughts on it all, yes? And it seems like most of my updates will be once every two weeks now…maybe. Might not always be on a Friday, either because I am forgetful as fuck. XD. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Lys for the beta! 
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Chant.


	19. Rebound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little bit in love with the next chapter, so I might actually get it out sooner than this two-weekly nonsense. We'll see.
> 
> Hope you liked this one, lovelies. As always, thanks for the reviews/support and to Lys for her fabulous beta work.

**Rebound.**

Theo wiped the sweat from his brow and sucked in another deep lungful of the crisp, clean Hightown air. The fresh air was good for his lungs and recovery – or so he'd told Fenris, and that's why he had spent so much time in the mansion's garden the past two days. He'd busied himself with manageable tasks—clearing away the brambles, raking leaves, cleaning the windows—so at least he was doing something to keep his mind off of things, but he knew it was all just an excuse to avoid Fenris.

Avoiding difficult conversations seemed to be a talent of his. He always avoided talking about Tanner, if he could. The past two days, he'd been trying to clear his head so that he'd be in a better place to apologise and potentially talk more about Tanner with Fenris as the elf would no doubt have questions. He just didn't want to have to do any of that while still upset or angry or in pain. His lungs were mostly better now, at least—he only got a bit out of breath if he did anything too physical. And being outside always made him calmer, so he was running out of excuses now _not_ to go talk to him.

"Fenris said you were out here," Bethany suddenly said. He turned and found her standing in the doorway with two cups of tea. "We've brought cake with us, if you want some?"

He smiled at her, nodding. "Is it fruit cake?"

Her face lit up with a knowing smile. "That, and a chocolate fudge cake."

A flash of a grin lit his face and he headed over to her. "The triple decker one?"

"Of course."

"Mmm. Yum." He took his cup of tea from her hand then gave her a quick hug in greeting. "How is mother?" he asked as he cupped his cup, sighing contentedly from the warmth.

"Still worried," Bethany admitted, taking a sip of her tea. "She's still going on about visiting."

He winced slightly. He was pretty sure this was one of the longest times he'd gone without seeing her and seeing as she just had to rely on Bethany and Carver to know he was okay, she was probably going out of her mind with frustration and worry.

"It's alright," Bethany said, voice soft and sympathetic. "We all know having mother here is the last thing you need right now."

He nodded dully. "She'd hate seeing me coughing and wheezing, let alone waddling about."

Bethany frowned and glanced down at his legs. "Why are you waddling? You didn't hurt your leg, did you?" Magic was flowing around her fingers before he'd even had a chance to answer.

"Beth, it's not my _legs_ making me waddle…" She kept frowning and he sighed roughly. "More like what's _between_ them that is."

Her eyes widened and she blushed a bright rose red. "Oh!" she squeaked, her face scrunching up. She whacked his arm. "Gross!"

"Hey!" he yelped, rubbing at his arm. "I could have been _much_ more graphic."

"Please don't be!" Apparently not trusting him, she turned on her heels and headed back inside.

He grinned and followed after her. "What about Gamlen? He still being his usual self?"

"He's…been okay, actually." She took a long slurp from her tea, a slight smile curling the edges of her mouth. Theo liked it when his sister smiled—it seemed to always lift his mood whenever he saw it and he couldn't help but think how apt Varric's nickname for her was. "He's been taking mother out a lot more and they've been talking about their childhoods quite a bit. It's been nice seeing them smiling and laughing together."

He found his own smile widening. He had his own issues with Gamlen, but that didn't change the fact that he was family. He liked to think that, if him and Carver ever got that estranged, that they'd be able to repair their relationship eventually.

"That does sound nice," he admitted. "Maybe it's for the best that I've not been there then—I'd be such a grump stuck in the house all day like I am."

Bethany giggled a bit. "It's true, you would."

Theo chuckled, head shaking a bit. "Instead I'm here, dying a painful death of chronically turned on."

"Ugh! Theodore!"

He chuckled and followed her into the dining hall where Varric, Carver and Fenris already were—he was vaguely aware of them chatting about Anders' new clinic but Theo was more distracted by the drool-worthy sight of the two cakes in the middle of the table and the forest green eyes watching him as he headed for the table. Unsurprisingly, Carver had already tucked into the chocolate cake and had crumbs all around his mouth and on his shirt. It seemed to be a Hawke tradition for one of them to end up covered in cake—sometimes all three of them did. Theo smiled and shook his head a bit as he took a seat opposite Fenris, giving the elf a nod in greeting, which Fen returned, before he cut himself and Beth some fruit cake.

He didn't get very far in taking his first bite of cake before his mouth dropped open at hearing Fenris _moan_ as he tasted the chocolate cake. Theo stared at him, watching as Fenris' eyes rolled back with another soft sound of approval. Maker's rock hard whanger, that was so fucking hot.

Bethany's fingers suddenly touched his chin, pushing it up and he snapped his mouth shut, blushing crimson as she giggled softly.

"I take it you like the cake?" Bethany asked Fenris, still smiling in amusement.

There was some colour to Fenris' cheeks when he looked at Bethany and nodded coyly. "It is delicious."

"Don't let mother know that, she'll never stop baking you them," Carver mumbled around his mouthful.

"Doesn't look like Broody would mind that at all, Junior," Varric said with a grin which made Fenris' blush darken.

"You were talking about this new clinic," Theo reminded the dwarf, needing a distraction from the elf sitting opposite him.

Varric's eyes were sparkling mischievously but he nodded. "Should be good to go today. Think we'll pop by there next."

"It looked impressive when I saw it yesterday. The location's a bit… rank," Bethany admitted with a crinkle of her nose, "but it's where the people in the most need live."

"Darktown," Theo muttered. "I don't like the idea of you going there too often, Beth."

"I don't go alone," she pointed out. "And Anders could use the help. There are a lot of people to treat – even while we were outfitting the clinic, people were wandering over to us, asking what was going on. Word spreads quickly down there, and some very desperate people were already asking for healing."

"I know, but the Templars-"

"Don't patrol in Darktown," she insisted. "Even if they did, Anders is a Warden and more than capable of protecting me." Fenris scoffed slightly into his tea and Beth shot him a disapproving look which Fenris pretended not to have noticed.

Theo sighed and nodded.

"We should head off," Carver said. "Templar patrol will be over now."

Bethany nodded and then looked at Theo. "I'll see you tomorrow." And with a glance at Fenris she added, "And because you keep ripping the stitches with your stretches, I'm bringing stronger medicine and you _will_ drink all of it."

"Is that the elfroot one?" Theo asked, smirking. Bethany smiled back at him and nodded, making Theo's smirk widen.

"The elfroot one?" Fenris asked warily as he watched them both.

"You'll see," Bethany said sweetly.

"We'll probably be by tomorrow too," Varric said. "Wicked Grace sound good?"

"Of course," Fenris said with a dip of his head.

"We'll leave you the rest of the cake," Bethany said with a smirk.

They headed to the door and Bethany pulled Theo into a hug. "Talk to him," she whispered, squeezing him tightly.

"Beth…"

"I mean it." She pulled back smiling. "See you tomorrow."

He nodded at her and the others and watched them walk out through the door. Theo sighed softly, once Fenris closed the door behind them, knowing he'd need to actually chat with Fen now.

"So…" Theo said as he scuffed his boots across the ground. "More cake?"

"Very well."

Theo chuckled. "That was a hard sell."

Fenris smiled slightly.

They headed back through to the dining hall and Theo cut them each another slice. They settled down at the two seats in front of the fire instead of at the table, and Theo watched the flames as he idly picked at the cake. He needed to apologise properly to Fenris for his outburst. He should probably explain himself some more, too, but he hated talking about this kind of thing.

He took a deep breath and then said the elf's name at the exact same time Fenris decided to speak up. They both chuckled awkwardly and Fenris motioned for him to go first.

"I… was just going to say I'm sorry, for how I reacted the other day. I know I explained why I reacted the way I did…but I should apologise even so. You didn't deserve any of that anger."

"Hawke, if I had known, I would not have pressed the issue."

"I know."

Fenris was quiet a moment, a slight frown between his brows as he clearly thought something over. When he looked back up at Theo, he seemed uncertain. "You said I reminded you of him."

Theo's heart sank. He had been hoping, of all the things Fenris might be curious about, that he'd _not_ ask about that. "You do," Theo said quietly.

"Why?"

"It's… complicated." Theo looked back at the fire, frowning.

How did he explain that it wasn't Fenris per se, but how he made him feel? He was attracted to Fenris. He got on well with him. He enjoyed his company. But it was more than that. He trusted him. He was drawn to him. And he was...starting to fall hard for him. His relationship mirrored that of his with Tanner. Meeting randomly. Doing everything together. The flirting and sexual tension. The arguments and the laughter. Personality wise they couldn't have been more opposite, and yet this all felt so very familiar and that both thrilled and terrified him.

"And I'd rather not discuss it, sorry," Theo said. He noticed the slightly disappointed look on the elf's face and sighed. "One thing. I'll answer one thing – but not about why you remind me of him and… you have to answer one thing for me in return. Sound fair?"

Fenris gave him a nod. "So be it. How did you meet Tanner?"

Theo smiled—something wistful and only tinged a little with sadness at recalling that day. "I…was fishing. Or trying to," he added, laughing softly. "I wasn't very good so hadn't caught anything despite being out there for what must have been almost all morning, I think. I don't have a lot of patience, as you well know, and was about to call it a day when something _finally_ tugged on my line." He leant back in his chair a bit, smile widening with the pleasant memory. "I was grinning like an idiot as I reeled that fucker in, only, my grin didn't last too long because that fish apparently had other ideas. It yanked on the line, hard, and I went flying forward, right into the lake. Lost the rod, too—father wasn't at all happy about that. When I surfaced, sputtering away and utterly drenched, there was someone laughing from the treeline."

"Tanner," Fenris said.

"Tanner," Theo agreed, nodding and swallowing a bit thickly. "He was standing there, cracking up against a tree, clutching at his sides from laughing so much. I glared at him, but that only made him laugh harder. When he finally stopped laughing, he flashed me the most brilliant grin I'd ever seen, apologised, and offered to teach me the proper way to fish. I agreed and he…came right up to me, gave me his rod, positioned me, getting my feet in the right stance so I didn't fall in the water, then taught me the best motion to toss it. It took us a while, but eventually we caught a huge fucker of a fish—no idea if it was the same one that dragged me into the drink but I like to think it was. Tanner and his family ended up joining us for dinner that night after we found out they were our new neighbours. After that... I don't think there was a single day that we didn't spend together."

"A good story," Fenris said with a small smile. "Thank you for sharing."

Theo nodded a bit, throat a bit thick. "You're welcome. My sister's always saying I should talk more and bottle things up less but Tanner is one of those things I just…struggle with." He cleared his throat a bit then glanced over at Fenris. "Now it's my turn to ask you something."

Fenris shifted in his seat, facing him more fully, and nodded.

"The night I got stabbed," he said plainly, watching as Fenris' jaw tightened, "you were adamant that you weren't healed magically, and I was curious as to why, specifically."

Fenris looked down at his forearm, turning it over to examine the markings on the underside, his expression stony and unreadable. "The lyrium reacts to magic," he explained. "It can be painful."

Theo nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. "If a mage casts near you, does that cause pain as well?"

Fenris nodded. "Less so, but yes."

Theo winced a bit. All those times Bethany had cast near him, Anders too, he must have been in a lot of pain and Theo hadn't even noticed. But he was certain that wasn't the only reason—he had seen the fear in Fen's eyes. "Is that the only reason you don't like magic cast on you, because it hurts?"

Fenris narrowed his eyes at him. "I believe you were to ask one question, Hawke."

Theo smirked. "Well, I got away with two, figured I'd try for a third. Besides, I explained in way more depth than you just did."

"That is your own fault for talking so much."

Theo let out a loud chuff of laughter. "So it is, but one of us has to talk otherwise we'd just be sitting here in silence all the damned time." He bit his lip slightly and then looked back at the elf. "If it helps, I'll make sure the mages in our group know not to cast directly on you or too close to you, if it can be helped."

"That is appreciated, Hawke, but not necessary. I am used to the pain."

"Well, I'm not going to let you suffer needlessly." Nodding in thanks, Fenris gave him a small smile. Theo sat back in his chair, relaxing and finished off his cake. "I was thinking," he said after a few minutes, "seeing as you really liked that cake, would you want to learn how to bake it?"

A single dark brow arched curiously in reply and Theo chuckled. "It would be fun—we've made a good team in the past when cooking together, right? Plus we get cake at the end of it." He grinned a bit. "Plus, you wouldn't have to rely on my mother being in a cake baking mood to get some anymore."

Fenris gave him an entirely-too-serious look. "…Are you as good as your mother at baking cakes?"

"Ahh haha," Theo said as he grinned. "I keep telling my mother that I'm an incredible baker—just as good as her, if not better. Only problem is, I usually eat all the cake-mix before ever getting it in the oven." Fenris snorted. "Other than that _minor_ issue, yes, my baking is just as good as hers. I even wear aprons like she does…sometimes."

"Knowing your preference for revealing clothing, you probably wear nothing _but_ the apron, Hawke."

Theo barked out a laugh and held up a finger. "Once, I did that _once_ and ended up burning my hip so I haven't done it since." He smirked a bit. "You're more than welcome to wear _just_ an apron though, if you're into that."

Fenris chuckled. "I think I will pass on the apron entirely."

"Nude baking? Can't say I've ever been brave enough for that." Fenris gave him a look and Theo snickered. "So, you want to do that?"

"Yes," Fenris said, nodding. "I think I'd like that. Thank you, Hawke."

"Good." Theo grinned. "Mmh. Do you fancy a game of chess in the meantime?" he asked. Fenris glanced at him curiously. "Do you know how to play? Only, I'm not sure I could teach you all there is to know about that like I did with _Snap_."

Fenris chuckled. "I know how to play chess, Hawke. We do not, however, have a board."

"Actually we do. I found one earlier."

"Oh?"

"It was in one of the library's cupboards."

"Ah. I had not explored there much—had little reason to."

Theo nodded thoughtfully. "I'll go get it. You can get the wine."

"Wine?"

"You won't be allowed alcohol while on my sister's medicine, so best drink up while you still can," Theo said, winking as he got up from his seat.

Fenris looked uneasy as he shifted in his seat. "This medicine…"

Theo grinned. "You have to drink it. And yes, it really is that terrible. Most vile thing I've ever had to swallow. She gives it to me when she wants to teach me a lesson for getting injured in some idiotic way. It's effective."

"Yet she did not give it to you this time," Fenris commented dryly.

Theo shrugged, smirking. "I nearly died, so I get a free pass."

* * *

 

"You listen here, Twiglet," the dwarf growled up to him, "this 'ere is our sector, you can't just be setting up shop like this."

"Then it's a good thing it's not a shop," Anders replied.

The dwarf's lip curled in annoyance. "That ain't what I meant, mage. You ain't got any business using one of our hideouts for this shit."

"So it's just the clinic you're offended by, is it? Would you approve if it was a brothel instead?" Anders asked, smirking as he casually leant against his staff and cocked out his hip.

The dwarf's teeth gnashed together. "It ain't your place. Now get the fuck out before I run my sword through you."

Anders' eyes sparkled as he stared down at him. "You can put your sword in me any day, I'm still not going anywhere though."

The dwarf looked about ready actually _try_ that, but Varric suddenly appeared along with the Hawke twins. "Jerrick!" he called cheerfully, arms outstretched. "I see you've met Blondie." He slapped the carta dwarf on the back, grinning in that ever-so-charming way of his.

"Varric…" the dwarf bit out. "You know this is carta territory."

"Friend, it hasn't been used for three years, six months and five days. As far as I'm concerned, that means this place is abandoned."

"It still belongs to-"

"Look, Knuckles, it'll do everyone some good to have a friendly neighbourhood mage in these parts."

"We don't need no mage," Jerrick growled.

"You'll eat your words as soon as Bianca here embeds a bolt in your foot," Varric said smiling through his threat.

"You think you can just threaten-"

"Who's making threats?" Varric asked calmly. "No, if I were going to threaten you, I'd tell you that it would be a shame if the Guild stopped paying sweet little Valerie her weekly payments…"

"You son of a bitch," the dwarf hissed.

"Now, now, there's no need to make a scene, is there? You leave Blondie and his clinic here alone and he'll treat you for a discounted fee. Fair deal, don't you think?"

The dwarf grumbled but nodded his head before stalking off.

Anders stared down at Varric, frowning slightly. "I didn't think we were charging anything?"

"He doesn't know that."

Anders laughed and straightened. "So, here to see the finished thing are you?" he asked all three of them.

"Yes, and we come bearing gifts," Bethany said happily as she held up a basket. He grinned at her and then opened the clinic door for them all.

Anders had to admit, he was impressed with how fast everyone had worked together to find, sort out, and outfit the clinic. It was a spacious area with one main room and two side rooms at the back; one was his own personal quarters, and the other was a small kitchen. It had everything he would ever need to treat people: tables, cots, cabinets stuffed full of herbs, jars, poultices and bandages. He already had several volunteers willing to help out, too.

The first had been an elf from Darktown who had fled Ferelden's Alienage shortly after the Blight. His name was Kit and he knew was a self-proclaimed potions expert. So far though, Anders had to agree; he really knew his herbs and concoctions. There was Janie as well, one of Lirene's workers who had already got to work in the kitchen, making soup. They were giving it out for free, trying to draw people in. So far things remained quiet but every now and then a few more people would be drawn by the smell of food and get curious. Anders didn't expect it to be busy for a while, if at all. The people of Darktown weren't likely to trust a mage or anything that claimed to be free, but at least they were trying to do something for the people down here.

He turned and looked at Bethany and Carver, noticing that Varric had already gone to see how Kit was doing on the other side of the room.

"This place looks great!" Bethany said cheerfully as she looked around in amazement.

"For Darktown, it's surprisingly not awful," Carver agreed.

Anders smiled. "It could use a bit of colour, then again, all the shades of brown kind of remind me of Ferelden."

"It's just missing the wet dog smell," Bethany mused.

"I'd prefer that to the sewers," Anders sighed.

"It's a good thing I brought scented candles and lots of soap, then," Bethany said with a laugh as she handed him the basket of goodies. He grinned as he took it from her, already smelling the strong flowery aromas from within.

"That's perfect," he said. "Half of Darktown's ailments can probably be solved with proper hygiene."

"That was my thought too."

"You sayin' we stink, Flower?" Yasmin snorted as she strolled into the clinic with a whole gaggle of children, including the boy Anders had healed two days past.

"Hopefully not for much longer," Anders said with a cheeky smile as he held up some of Bethany's soap.

"Half o' this lot don't even know what one of them is," Yasmin chortled, pointing to all of her younger siblings. "Thought I'd come back 'nd see your new digs, 'nd get this lot checked over, if that's alright wit' you?"

"Of course." Anders glanced at Bethany. "Want to help?"

"Absolutely."

Carver watched, arms folded as the six children ran enthusiastically over to the cots with his sister and Anders. They all began fighting over who would get to sit on the cot nearest the mages and Yasmin shook her head, sighing. "There's more than one o' them you silly buggers," she called out to them.

"I'm kind of glad I don't have that many siblings," Carver admitted to the red-head at his side.

"They're a handful, that's fo' sure."

He glanced at her. "And you look after them all, on your own?"

"More o' less." She rested a hand on her hip and looked up at him, pulling her eyes away from the children who were being fed bowls of soup by a scrawny woman with messy blonde hair – Janie, if Carver recalled her name correctly. "Me ma's got the memory fog; must o' forgot how many she 'ad when she was fuckin' the last one's dad," she laughed.

Carver frowned slightly. "Memory fog?"

"Oh, aye. On a good day she'll 'member me name. Most o' the time though, she just sleeps. Gotta say, I prefer it that way, less work. It's worse when she wanders off. One o' these days she won't come back," Yasmin explained a little more sombrely, a sad glint in her eyes.

"Surely Anders could take a look at her too?"

Yasmin shrugged a shoulder. "Might be he could 'elp her, true. Her mind's failing 'nd her body ain't far behind it." She let out a sigh, watching her siblings as Bethany's magic began to glow, making the children stare in wonder. "It's the air round 'ere, you see. Too much at once can kill yah, oh aye, but small amounts over a lifetime's just as deadly."

"And I thought Lowtown was bad," Carver said with an angry shake of his head. These were people's lives, they were stuck down here because there was nowhere else for them to go, nowhere else they could afford and they already had it hard without the air itself trying to kill them.

"Lowtown's a fuckin' palace compared to these parts," Yasmin chuckled.

Carver nodded. "We did a lot of mercenary work around here. I can't imagine actually living here though."

"It just somethin' you get used to, Stunner. Gotta say though, it's nice 'avin' a healer down here. 'Elps that he's attractive, too." Her blue eyes were sparkling as she peered up at him through long lashes. "Don't 'spose you know if he's single, do yah?"

Carver stiffened. "He's not."

"Pity," she said with a smirk. "I ain't never been with no mage before, not that he's really my type. I usually prefer my blokes with a bit more meat to 'em 'nd that's hard to find around these parts!" she laughed and then raked her eyes up his body, lingering on his arm muscles. "You're pretty meaty though, Muscles, wouldn't mind seeing your other meat some time," she said with a wink that saw Carver's cheeks heating. Her face lit up, eyes bright. "Well aint' you just the cutest thin' when you blush! I could just squeeze them cheeks of yours!" she said as she reached up to do just that.

He swatted her hands away. "I am not blushing," he grumbled. "It's just… hot down here."

"I know just what you mean, my nethers are all aflame too." Carver nearly choked on his own spit and Yasmin started to laugh again. "Poor Ferelden puppy's all flustered!" she chortled.

He groaned, shaking his head. "Please don't start calling me pup."

She gave him a toothy grin. "Why not, _Pup_?"

He sighed. "You're worse than the dwarf."

"Sounds like I'd get along spectacularly wit' tha dwarf then."

"Everyone does," Varric suddenly said from beside them, smiling charmingly.

Yasmin took the sight of him in with an approving grin. "And 'ere I was complaining about the lack o' meat in these parts, now I gotta whole lotta it."

Varric snorted. "I'm afraid you'll have to contend with just Junior – this dwarf's spoken for."

"N'aww 'nd just as I were eyeing up that chest o' yours," she said with a smirk.

"Yammy, the secwet mages says we're all gwood!" one of the children said as he ran back over to Yasmin.

Carver arched a brow at her. "Yammy?"

She grinned at him, shrugging. "Yasmin, mummy… this lil tyke started it 'nd it caught on," she said as she rubbed another's hair.

"They're all healthy," Anders said, smiling as the child he was carrying plucked at the feathers on his coat. "You're doing a great job with them."

"Thank ye," Yasmin said, beaming. "Come 'ere ya little terror," she said as she took the girl from Anders' arms.

"Can we come back again shoon, pwetty pwease?" the girl asked, smiling brightly.

"Might be we can," Yasmin said, then she glanced at Carver. "You gonna be 'ere a lot, Pup?"

Carver folded his arms and glared at her. "Not if you keep calling me that."

She grinned. "Suit yerself. Be seein' yah all," she said as she started herding her kids out the door. Carver watched her leave, eyes still narrowed. It was bad enough getting teased by Varric, Isabela, Theo, Anders… Bethany… basically everyone, and now he could add _her_ to the list too. When he turned back to look at his companions he found all three of them staring at him, grinning.

"Oh no you don't!" Carver said as he saw Bethany's eyes sparkle, her mouth about to open. She grinned. "She's annoying," he pointed out.

"She's cute," Bethany countered.

"She's tactless."

"You like her."

"I do not," he huffed.

"The red cheeks say otherwise, Junior," Varric said.

"And she likes you too," Anders said. "She was eyeing you like a piece of meat."

"She _wants_ his meat," Varric chuckled.

"Ugh, please stop," Carver complained.

"Even I could tell she liked you, and I wasn't even paying attention," Kit, Anders' assistant, said, his blue eyes lit up in amusement.

"I hate you all."

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink, Little Hawke. I'd say today's been a success."

"Doesn't look like anyone else is coming by," Anders said. He glanced over his shoulder. "Janie, we're heading off, joining us?"

The scruffy blonde woman poked her head out of the kitchen once more, wiped her hands on her apron and nodded. "Can't be joining yous for a drink, got me night shift to get to, but I won't say no tos some company walking out of here," she said, smiling.

Anders locked the door behind everyone and followed them out through Darktown. He wasn't sure he would ever get used to the smell down here, but he was pretty sure a few hours a day of crinkling his nose was worth it to extend lives by days, months, years.

Kit walked at his side, humming some happy little tune as they walked through the darkness. He was… interesting looking. He had ink black hair, shaved slightly on one side; the rest was braided a dozen times, all different sizes. His eyes were a light sky blue but one was damaged beyond repair thanks to the scar that cut through it. He was skinny, too, bonier than any elf Anders had ever met. Through the tight shirts that he wore, the ones that really didn't fit him, Anders could see his hip bone jutting out, curling all the way down to his groin. It was oddly enticing.

"So, you were in Ferelden during the Blight," Anders said conversationally.

"Yeah, it wasn't nearly as exciting as it sounds," Kit said. "Between the plague, the bloody nobles, the magisters and the darkspawn, it was all rather shite."

"I can imagine," Anders said frowning. "Neri went to the Alienage. She told me all about it, said she took down those magisters."

"Oh yeah! I saw her. Briefly. Or, rather, I was busy looking at her companion so only saw a little of her."

"Let me guess," Anders drawled, "an Antivan elf, silvery blond hair, tattoo on his face…"

"Yes!" Kit exclaimed. "Creators, he was _gorgeous._ "

Anders sighed.

"They fought so well together! She'd throw them straight onto his waiting blades and they had all these flourishes and moves that were just…" He sighed wistfully. "They made slaughtering those magisters look like art."

"Nug shit. Is there anyone in this city who _hasn't_ met the Slayer?" Varric grumbled.

"You haven't," Bethany, Carver and Anders all said at once. Varric snorted ruefully, shaking his head.

"Did they look happy?" Anders asked Kit.

The skinny elf frowned before realising what he meant. "Yeah. You should have seen the looks they kept giving one another. Especially him; he had it bad."

Anders sighed and walked the rest of the way in silence. He wondered what Zevran would think of him. He had grown up with Neri in the Tower, after all—they were best friends first, then lovers. They were close and had been through hell together. Would the Crow be jealous of that bond, of their shared history the way Anders was of Neri and Zevran's during the Blight? He wasn't sure. He knew his own insecurities were probably foolish, but with Neri away, and having been away for months now, he couldn't stop the thoughts that crept into his mind in moments of silence.

More than once he had pictured Neri finding some new lover up in the Anderfels, of her deciding to stay there instead of coming back here to him, or of him getting caught by Templars and her never coming for him because she had chosen to go after Zevran instead. Or of her deciding that she didn't love him anymore the moment she laid eyes upon the Crow again. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts—this was supposed to be a night of celebration, not of him moping around missing Neri. He would damn well enjoy it.

 


	20. Not Part Of The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late. Again. Hopefully the length and content make up for my shittiness. 
> 
> Also, welcome new readers. *blows you kisses* 
> 
> And my thanks as always to Lys for the beta work! 
> 
> <3

Fenris bolted upright at hearing heavy footsteps rushing up the stairs toward his room. He darted silently out of his bed, grabbing his sword in the process, and snuck behind the door to lie in wait for his would-be-attacker.

His heart pounded in his chest and his grip around his sword hilt tightened as the footsteps stopped at the top of the stairs, the attacker's breathing heavy like they'd sprinted all the way here. Fenris grit his teeth. He had been a fool to think Danarius would not send more men…

He realised, then, that the heavy breathing had turned to wheezing and that it was accompanied by some very… _colourful_ blasphemes.

With an irritated sigh, he put his sword back against the wall and opened his door. He caught a glimpse of Hawke's back as the rogue jogged back down the stairs, looking rather exhausted. Fenris watched as Hawke started doing jumping jacks at the bottom of the steps, the muscles of his back rippling pleasantly under his sweat-soaked shirt. Fenris found himself staring, his gaze following the lines of his body, admiring the impressive sight.

The rogue turned then and ran back up the stairs, his body drenched in sweat, his breathing laboured. Fenris folded his arms, watching with a scowl as Hawke finally spotted him and stopped dead in his tracks with a frightened yelp.

"Maker's bleeding ass crack! You scared the shit out of me!" Hawke cried breathlessly. "You can't just _appear_ at the top of stairs like that, Fenris!"

Fenris' scowl deepened. "I thought you were a _slaver_ ," he hissed back.

Hawke's eyes widened. "Shit. Sorry, I just needed to…" He shook his head, sighing.

Theo glanced back at Fenris with an apologetic smile. The elf looked… cute when he was affronted. Theo really hadn't meant to scare him like that, though. And he clearly had done so because Fenris' hair was all mussed up and he was pretty sure that was dribble on his chin. An image from his dreams the night before flashed vividly through his mind: Fenris with Theo's cum dripping from his mouth, smeared across his chin. Theo blinked rapidly, trying to clear his head while making it look like he just had sweat in his eye as he wiped his forehead.

Fenris was still scowling at him, but he unfolded his arms, posture relaxing slightly. "Do _not_ do that again."

Theo relaxed too and started to smirk, something teasing slipping across his features. "Of course. I never meant to scare you."

"I was not-"

"I will announce everything I do from now on, Fenris, so as not to startle you again."

Fenris glared at him. " _Asinus_ ," he muttered.

Theo grinned. "I am walking back down the stairs now, Fenris," he yelled loudly. "You can stare at my _asinus_ all you like that way."

Fenris growled and Theo had to hold back a snicker. He reached the bottom of the stairs and glanced back up at the elf. "I am going to do some stretches now, Fenris, do not be alarmed by my sudden bending over!"

Fenris shook his head, still glaring as he walked down the stairs.

"I'm not an intruder, so no sticking me with your sword," Theo said, hiding a smirk.

"My sword is not with me, Hawke."

"And here I thought you were rather _attached_ to it," Theo said cheekily as he stretched his legs against the steps.

Fenris' eyes narrowed further. "There is only one type of sword I would care to use on you right now, Hawke, but it is not at-hand."

Theo snorted violently and began to cough. Fenris simply continued to glare at him, mossy green eyes dark and narrowed.

"I'm gonna check the kitchen now, Fenris," he said slowly, enunciating every word.

Fenris sighed. "These ears are not just for show, Hawke, I can hear perfectly well."

Theo smiled. "Really? Because you mistook an out of breath twenty-two year old for a slaver. Did you really think they would break into your mansion wheezing like that?"

"You underestimate how far slavers are willing to go to capture their lost property."

"Even so, were you really worried about _fighting_ an asthmatic slaver?"

"I was not _worried_ , merely surprised."

" _Right_ ," Theo said, grinning. "You have drool on your chin, by the way." Fenris wiped it away with the back of his hand, his cheeks flushing slightly, making Theo's grin widen as he headed to the kitchen.

Surprisingly, Fenris had flour; he wasn't sure how old the flour _was_ but it would do for baking a cake with. The rest of the ingredients, however, they would need to buy. He sighed as he closed the cupboards and glanced at the elf standing in the doorway. "We definitely need to go shopping. Think you can manage the stairs to Lowtown without ripping your wound open again?"

"We shall find out shortly."

* * *

"I'm going to crack these eggs now, Fen," Theo said through a snicker, still enjoying teasing the elf. Fenris was obviously beyond exasperated with him, but he couldn't stop— seeing him so frustrated was fucking hysterical. Fenris' eye was actually twitching now every time Theo announced something he was doing.

Theo poured his cracked eggs into the bowl and stirred it in to the rest of the mixture. "I'll need flour soon. It's in the cupboard. Could you get it for me, please?"

Fenris gave him a slight nod before reaching up into the cupboard; he had to stand on his tip toes to reach and Theo got a nice view of his bared hip and abs as his shirt lifted upwards. He swallowed thickly as his eyes followed the lyrium lower.

The elf suddenly hissed in a pained breath and collapsed to the counter with a snarl. Theo only just managed to grab a hold of Fenris and yank him backwards before the bad of flour fell out of the cupboard, slammed into the counter, and promptly exploded.

A floury white cloud engulfed them, utterly caking them both in flour. When it had finally cleared enough to see, Theo turned very slowly to look at Fenris, his hands still clutching the elf's arm where he'd pulled him back in a rush. Fenris was white as a sheet, with everything above his waist covered in flour. The only bit of colour left were the big green eyes staring at Theo and blinking in surprise. Theo glanced down at his own body, finding it equally white.

They stood there, silent and shocked for a moment, right up until Fenris let out a squeaky sneeze—the cutest sneeze Theo had ever heard—which finally did him in. Laughter burst out of him hard and loud, doubling him over. Fenris glared at him, apparently not at all pleased to be covered in flour, and that only made Theo laugh even harder.

Didn't take long for his laughter to fuck with his lungs and make him wheeze and cough. He slammed his fist down to the counter to brace himself as coughs wracked his body, only for his hand to catch the side of the bowl in the process, sending cake mixture flinging into the air and all over them.

"Bloody arse-fucked Andraste!" he wheezed out.

And then Fenris was laughing too, his shoulders trembling as his face scrunched up. He lifted a white gauntleted hand to his lips, trying to hide his snickering but that only made Theo laugh harder as flour puffed out around Fenris' face, knocked off his gauntlets by his panted laughing breaths.

"You…look ridiculous, Hawke," Fenris said between his sniggering, tears now streaming down through the flour on his face, revealing the dark skin beneath.

"Yeah, you don't look much better," Theo retorted, voice cracking with laughter. He grabbed a handful of sloppy cake mixture and lobbed it at Fenris' head- the cake was a lost cause anyway. It hit Fenris right on the nose, splattering outwards, and the elf startled badly, only making Theo crack up harder.

"Oh, sorry did I surp-" He didn't get to finish his sentence before Fenris was throwing a wad of eggy flour at him. The blast hit him full in the face, coating him in yet more flour and sticky egg, most of it going in his mouth and up his nose. He coughed, choking.

"You bastard," he laughed, before he grabbed another handful and returned the throw. But Fenris was quick on his feet and dodged out of the way while simultaneously throwing yet more flour in Theo's direction, which Theo tried lunging out of the way of. Instead, he slipped on the spilt cake mix and hit the ground hard. Pain radiated out from his arse but he couldn't stop the laughter from erupting out of him again as he sat crumpled on the ground unable to move due to the powerful laughter racking through his body. Fenris was clutching at his side, leaning heavily against the counter, head lowered, shaking with mirth, his grey armour still ridiculously white.

And that was how Bethany, Varric and Carver found them both.

"Maker's breath!" his sister exclaimed from the doorway as she stared at them both with wide eyes.

"And here we were thinking you weren't answering the door cause you were fucking," Varric said with a smirk. "Guess I owe you money, Junior."

"I'm so relieved," his brother said dryly.

"You thought we were fucking but you still broke in?" Theo asked, his voice tinged with incredulous laughter.

"Please, nothing _broke_ ; I picked the lock," Varric said, smiling broadly.

Theo rolled his eyes and tried to get up from the ground but his foot slipped on yet more egg and he ended up back on his arse, laughing even harder. Fenris burst out in another fit of snickering and had to turn away from the sight, hiding himself from view even as his body continued to tremble.

"Shut it you!" Theo said to Fenris around a hearty chuckle.

"Come here," Bethany said, giving him a hand even as she giggled slightly at their ridiculousness. He nearly slipped on purpose just to drag her down to the ground with him but thought better of it; Bethany was the giver of the elfroot medicine, after all.

"What were you even trying to bake?" Carver asked as he looked at the messy counter.

"A cake," Theo admitted quietly, smiling impishly.

"I'm no expert, but aren't the ingredients supposed to stay _in_ the bowl?" Varric asked, hiding a grin.

"They _were_ in the bowl," Theo protested. "Then the flour and eggs conspired against us."

Fenris started to snicker again and walked out of the room, clutching at his stomach. Theo grinned. "We're gonna go clean up… Make yourselves comfortable, maybe in the dining room instead of in here?" he said, grinning, as he followed Fenris out of the kitchen.

Fenris shook his head as he climbed the stairs, making flour fall out of it as he did so.

"I should have known we wouldn't actually get to make a cake," Theo laughed. "At least nobody can blame me for eating all the cake mix this time."

"No, they can just blame you for starting a food fight with it instead."

"Hey, you started it by dropping that bag of flour!"

"I could have caught it if you hadn't pulled me away from the counter," Fenris insisted.

Theo snorted out a laugh. "As if. It was about to whack you on the head." He gave Fenris a cheeky look. "I just didn't have time to announce that it was about to do that, so had to grab you instead."

Fenris groaned and ruffled his hair, knocking out yet more flour. "Please cease with the announcements."

"Hmmmh. Not sure I can, Fen. Really don't want to startle you again."

"You will not _startle_ me."

"Oh yeah?" Theo took that moment to whack Fenris on the arse before darting into the bathroom, laughing. He glanced back at Fenris, finding the elf's eyes wide with surprise. That only made Theo crack up all over again. "You okay, Fenris? You look rather-"

"Do _not_ say it."

"…Surprised."

Fenris growled and shoved past him to get to the water pump. Theo followed, still snickering. Theo grabbed a couple of cloths for them both so they could start wiping down the worst of the flour.

"Is your hip okay, by the way?"

"Hmh?"

"It's the reason you dropped to the counter, was it not?"

"It's still a bit tender, nothing to worry about."

Theo grinned. "Don't you know? I worry about _everything_."

"Rather difficult not to notice that, Hawke."

Theo chuckled and wet his own cloth before using it to wash the flour and gunk from his arms.

"Are your lungs well?" Fenris asked as, he too, began to wash himself down over the tub.

"Despite laughing so hard I nearly coughed up a lung, and all the flour I likely inhaled, they're actually not that bad."

Fenris gave him a twitch of a smile. "Good."

"I'm just sorry we didn't get to _actually_ bake a cake."

"There will be other times for that, I'm certain."

"Hope so. I really was looking forward to it."

"Mh. As was I."

Theo smiled at him and continued cleaning himself. His mind kept pointing out how intimate it was standing over a tub, slowly washing themselves down with a wet cloth. So, Theo had to keep telling it to fuck off.

"You, uhh, missed a spot," Theo pointed out when Fenris looked ready to leave. The elf arched a brow at him and Theo swallowed thickly. "Here." He took his own cloth and gently wiped Fenris' cheek with it. He hadn't meant to get so close to him, but feeling Fenris' warm breath against his face made his own gaze focus on the lips that were slightly parted, wanting nothing more than to close the rest of the distance between them.

"All done!" he said squeakily instead as he pulled away. Fenris blinked a bit before clearing his throat and nodding. "Do I have any on me still?"

Fenris shook his head a bit. "Not that I can—" Theo turned around at that moment to pull the plug out of the tub and Fenris started snickering.

Theo glanced at him, eyes widening a bit. "What?" He tired glancing at his backside. "What is it?"

Fenris blushed a pretty shade of pink. "Your…buttocks, Hawke."

Theo arched a brow at the elf. "What about my… _buttocks_?" he asked, laughing lightly.

"It is…not clean."

Theo gave him a wicked look. "You're right, it's not." His look got even cheekier. "You going to help me clean it up?" Fenris' eyes widened and Theo laughed out loud. "I'm kidding. Think I'm just gonna grab a change of clothes." He sauntered past Fenris, ruffling his hair in the process, knocking more flour from it. "Meet you down there." He winked at the blushing elf and disappeared out the room.

* * *

 

His siblings had wisely brought two cakes with them: more fruit cake and another chocolate one. Theo and Fenris both settled down at the table with them, grabbing a slice of cake as Theo tried to ignore the unsubtle looks his siblings and Varric were giving him. He decided to shift the subject before any of them could mention the baking fiasco again. And he knew just the topic to bring up.

On the way to Lowtown for cake ingredients, Theo and Fenris had discussed the possibility of getting Varric to make the mansion more defensible. Fenris wasn't going to admit it, but clearly he _did_ fear a slaver attack, not that Theo could blame him for such a thing. And now with Varric easily picking the front door's lock as well…

"Hey, Varric?" he asked. "Any chance you could help make this place more defensible from slavers? Maybe with traps and stuff?" He noticed the grateful nod Fenris gave him and smiled.

"This because we broke in here?" Varric asked, rubbing his gloved hands together.

"I thought you said you didn't break in?" Theo said, smirking.

Varric waved him off. "Semantics." He glanced at Fenris. "I can hook you up," he said with a dangerous twinkle in his eyes. "I've got just the thing."

"You have my thanks," Fenris said.

"And I don't suppose you could keep an eye out for slaver activity too…?" Theo asked, batting his lashes.

Varric snorted. "Please, Hawke. You insult me. I've already got men on that. Have done since the day we met Broody."

Theo smiled brightly at the dwarf. "You're the best, Varric," he said, making Varric chuckle.

"I know," Varric said with a dramatic sigh, a smile at his lips. "What would you do without me?"

"Spend a lot less time at The Hanged Man," Carver muttered around a mouthful of cake, making them all chuckle.

"That _would_ be a shame," Bethany admitted. "Then you never would have impressed Yasmin." Bethany's eyes were bright with mischief and it made Theo arch a brow at her. That brow only lifted further when Carver glared at her.

"Yasmin?" Theo asked, glancing between his siblings as he tried to figure out what he was missing.

Carver groaned. "It's nothing."

"I'll eat my own glove if it's nothing," Varric said. "As Rivaini would say, you were redder than a spanked bottom."

Theo snorted. "Alright, who is she and more importantly, what did she say to make my brother blush?"

Bethany grinned at him even as Carver sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. "She calls him Muscles and Pup," she said smiling with a glance at Carver. "Carver heroically carried her sick brother to Anders who then saved his life. We saw her again at the clinic yesterday and you should have seen them together-"

"There was nothing to see! We were just talking," Carver protested.

"Junior, did she or did she not say, and I quote: _wouldn't mind seeing your_ other _meat some time_?"

Carver's eyes closed as he groaned and Theo laughed out loud. It was _so_ nice having someone else in the family getting teased about their love life for a change.

"And was that not followed up by you getting flustered and claiming it was hot down here, only for her to say her nethers were aflame, too?" Varric asked with a shit-eating grin on his face. Fenris snorted at that, a smile twitching at his lips as Carver's cheeks flushed a brilliant red.

"You really heard all that?" Carver asked, defeated.

"Heard the whole thing," Varric said. "As if I'd miss gold like that."

"We can set up a triple date!" Bethany said excitedly and Theo's stomach dropped. He knew exactly what she was about to say. "Varric and I, you and Yasmin, and Theo you can bring- oww!" She yelped as Theo gave her a solid kick to the shin.

Theo could suddenly see his first proper date with Tanner in vivid detail. The walk through the forest with the moon shining high above and the flickering orange light of the torch Tanner held. The flames had cast such beautiful shadows across Tanner's face, making his blue eyes look black and giving his smirk added mischievousness. There had been a blanket out in the middle of the field with food and drinks all laid out on it. The stars had looked incredible twinkling in the sky above. And just as Theo had thought it couldn't have been a more perfect evening for a date in the forest, the fireflies had all taken flight around them, glowing faintly as they filled the air with light and colour. They had kissed for the first time with those tiny bugs swarming through the sky. But this time when Theo pictured himself pulling back from the kiss, instead of Tanner smiling at him, he was frowning in accusation.

Theo suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here. "I should really clean the kitchen," he suddenly said, pushing his chair back and getting up.

"Hawke, it can wait-" Fenris said, frowning.

"It's best to do it before the egg dries up," he said quickly.

"Theo, at least finish your cake first," Bethany said, but he was shaking his head and already out the door.

Fenris glanced between the Hawke siblings and the dwarf, watching as Bethany sighed heavily. "I'll go talk to him," she said, pushing up from her chair.

"No," Fenris interrupted, "Let me."

He got up from the table before Bethany could say anything more and headed to the kitchen. Hawke was busy sweeping the floor but even that did not mask the slight tremble to his hands. He sighed slightly and picked up a wet cloth to clean the surfaces with. When Hawke finally spotted him, he gave him a small, if shaky smile before focusing on the floor again.

Fenris couldn't help but notice Hawke had the same look in his eyes that he always got when thinking about Tanner. He had seen that look so many times in the past, but until learning of Tanner, he'd never known exactly what it had meant, only that it was a look filled with sadness and guilt.

"You're thinking about Tanner," Fenris said plainly.

Hawke froze, his breath catching in his throat and looked up at him. "That obvious, is it?"

Fenris expression softened a touch as he nodded. "You are very easy to read, Hawke."

The rogue chuffed out a laugh at that. "Trust me, I know." He swallowed thickly. "The idea of…going on a date with anyone just…freaked me out, I guess."

"I do not think your sister was serious about you attending a date with Anders."

Hawke gave him an odd look. "That's who you think she was about to say?"

He shifted from one foot to the other, watching the rogue carefully. "Considering how much you…liked one another, yes."

Hawke smiled at him, something soft and amused glinting in his amber eyes. "She was going to say your name, Fen."

"Oh."

Hawke cleared his throat. "Because we're…living together," he added.

"Of course."

"Not sure how much longer that ought to last, though. We're both better now. Isn't really much reason for me to stay, is there?"

Fenris went back to wiping the counter, not understanding the odd tightness suddenly grasping his chest. "No, I suppose there isn't," he replied quietly.

He could feel Hawke watching him but the rogue stayed quiet for a long moment. "Then, I'll go see mother today. I doubt she'll let me leave again so I should probably take all my things with me."

Fenris gave the rogue a distracted nod. He had grown used to Hawke's company. He had known it wouldn't last long, even so, it had been…nice having company. And now he was to go back to living alone in this borrowed mansion of his. That should please him, he did enjoy his privacy, after all, but instead it just left him feeling rather hollow.

"I'll help you finish cleaning up in here, maybe stay for one more card game, then go, I think."

"Very well, Hawke."

The human put his hand on Fenris' shoulder and squeezed, the warmth of his hand seeping into his skin and making him feel warm all over. "Thank you for letting me stay with you, Fenris," Hawke said, smiling. "I'm sorry I was such a pain in your arse."

"You were not a pain in my arse, despite, no doubt, wishing you had been."

Hawke blushed bright red. "How did you-"

"Nobody takes that many bathroom breaks and comes back that breathless, even allowing for your injury's effects on you, Hawke."

The rogue's eyes widened briefly before narrowing. "And still you stretched!"

Fenris shrugged a shoulder, smirking slightly. "I found it amusing."

Hawke laughed. " _Ass_."

"Mh, I've heard you're rather fond of it."

Hawke gave him a playful shove. "Watch it, or I'll start another food fight with you."

"You mean you'll _lose_ another food fight with me."

Hawke snorted and gave him a smiling look. "When did you get this cheeky?"

Fenris felt his cheeks warm and glanced away. "I suppose I'm just…comfortable."

Hawke flashed him a warm smile. "I'm glad." He cleared his throat a bit. "Right. We were cleaning."

"I'm not certain smearing cake mix across the floor with a broom constitutes as cleaning, Hawke."

Hawke shook his head, chuckling. "Want me to leave it all to you?"

Fenris smirked smugly. "You'd feel too bad to do that."

"Fuck sake," Hawke muttered as he grabbed the broom again.

Fenris grinned as he rinsed out his cloth then went back to cleaning the counter.

* * *

 

As expected, mother had been more than relieved to see him; in fact, she hadn't let go of him for at least ten minutes while she lectured him. It had started off with a big gooey ramble about how much she had missed him and loved him and how worried she'd been. That had turned into a sermon about how foolish he had been, how she hated the dangerous work he got involved in, which had finally turned into a proper scolding about never ever scaring her like that again. As frustrating as it was when she got like that… he had missed her, too.

And he had needed to get out of Fenris' mansion. Things had gotten far too… domestic between them. Baking? Really? Just spending a few days with him had made him far too used to the elf's company. Even now, he was picturing how Fenris would react to what Theo was currently staring at, and he shook his head, annoyed, only for those thoughts to be replaced by images of Tanner instead, accompanied by a surge of guilt and pain. He shook that away too, probably starting to look like he had a severe twitch in the process, not that his mother would notice – she was too busy cooing at her new… family members.

They were standing in their little garden, staring down at the three chickens happily wandering around the small space, heads bobbing. Worry-shopping had apparently replaced worry-baking since he had been away, and mother had made some…interesting purchases. It wasn't completely random—they _had_ talked about getting some hens in the past so they didn't need to rely on the market for eggs… but he hadn't thought that she'd actually buy some and he certainly hadn't thought she'd do it alone as an impulsive purchase like this.

"We must name them!" she said, smiling brightly.

He stared at the noisy white hen, the fluffy red-brown one and the speckled brown one and shrugged. "How about…Clucky, Feathers and Speckles?"

His mother tsked. "I've heard you call your penis more imaginative things."

" _Mother_!"

She laughed. "As a little boy, I think you called it… Droo-pee."

Theo groaned. "Maker's ass… Please stop." She chuckled, covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes wrinkled in amusement. "It's not funny," he grumbled. "And the chickens have been named. It is done."

"Oh, Theodore."

"Nope. We're done talking, mother," he said as he headed back inside, blushing. Her chuckle followed him, just as she did.

Gamlen took that moment to arrive home and stopped in his tracks to stare at Theo, blinking a few times in surprise. "Alive, are yah?"

"Yes. Sorry to disappoint you, uncle," he said flippantly, apparently surprising his uncle once more.

"We might argue like an old married couple, but that doesn't mean I want you dead, boy," he said, his features softening just a bit.

"Oh," Theo said. "Well… good."

"Good," Gamlen said, standing in front of him, rubbing his neck.

"Brother, we have chickens now!" mother said excitedly.

"Chickens?" Uncle frowned. "They better not make any bloody noise," he groused.

"Have you ever heard of mute chickens, uncle?" Theo asked as he poured himself a cup of tea.

Gamlen grunted. "Well, you could get the quiet ones, not one of those cock-a-doodle-doo ones," he suggested.

Theo smirked. "The what ones?"

"The cock-a-doodle-" Theo started to snicker, his shoulders shaking. "Oi! You know the ones I bloody well mean."

"Gamlen, language!"

"This is _my_ house, Leandra."

"So you keeping reminding us," Theo said with a snorted laugh as he sat down at the table.

It was nice, being home. Some small part of him—a part he kept trying to smack—wanted to be sitting around a table with Fenris instead, but he knew that couldn't or wouldn't ever be something he could do on the regular. Spending too much time with Fenris was…dangerous. His imagination had already run off with the idea of ' _them'_ , picturing all manner of things for him and Fenris to do together. Sometimes he even caught himself allowing it just to see what it might be like, what it could have been like, in another life.

He idly stirred his tea, only half-listening to mother and uncle filling him in on everything he'd missed the past few days—most of which Bethany and Carver had already told him—his mind playing back the events of the past week. That had been as close to a relationship as he was ever likely to get again, he realised.

* * *

 

Anders leant against the counter and wiped his brow, finally finding a moment to catch his breath. He hadn't been in any kind of a rush to get up that morning, given his aching head. He had perhaps consumed a little too much alcohol the night before while drinking with Varric, the twins and Kit, and despite his healing magic, he was still feeling a little lethargic.

He'd meandered his way down to the clinic, not expecting there to be anyone waiting, only to find a queue ten people long outside the doors. He'd apologised to them all and quickly opened the door before he had assessed who the priorities were and treated them.

By the time Kit showed up, even more people had drifted into the clinic, curious and seeking help. He was exhausted, but every time someone new showed up looking scared or worried, he'd ushered them in and tended to their wounds.

But things were a little quieter now; Kit was handing out a few potions to those that didn't need magical healing and Yasmin had stopped by again, this time without all of the children, to help out any way she could.

He was just about to sit down when a woman came running into the clinic, gasping for breath. "Please, healer, you have to come! I can't move him and he wasn't breathing," she begged desperately, her eyes wide with fear.

Anders pushed off from the counter he was leaning against and grabbed his staff. "Keep an eye on things until I'm back," he said quickly to Kit as he headed to the door and the woman.

"Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!" the woman said in relief.

"Be careful," Yasmin called out to him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion as she watched the woman.

Anders nodded and then followed the panicked woman down several long winding corridors, deeper into Darktown. He kept a firm grip on his staff, worried that this could well be a trap. But if it was, she was a damned good actress; she looked so worried, her hands trembling, tears soaking her cheeks.

"He's in here," the woman said breathlessly, as she shoved a rotten door open.

He stepped in after her, cautiously, and found himself standing in a room with two other people—none of which looked injured. He drew his staff in front of him as the crying woman gave the other two women a nod then disappeared out a door on the other side of the room. Anders was just about to flee when the door slammed shut behind him and he spotted a third person, this one a cloaked figure, blocking the door.

"Look, whoever you all are," he said as menacingly as he could, as he backed away from all three of them. "I'm a mage and a Grey Warden, you-"

"For fuck's sake. We _know_ that, you dolt," the shortest of the three said—a tiny human with spiky black hair and dark, nearly black, eyes. "You're wearing Warden armour _and_ have a staff!" She folded her arms and leant back against the wall, obviously not worried about the fact that he was a Warden mage. "We brought you here for a _reason_ , dumbass."

The oldest of the three—a woman with brown, greying, hair that she had tied up in a messy bun—let out a rough sigh and then took a step toward him. "Excuse Birdie, she's easily-"

"Don't fucking say it."

"—ruffled."

"Ugh," the black-haired girl, Birdie, rolled her eyes in annoyance. " _He's_ the one with the feather coat!"

The older woman smiled affectionately at the younger girl and then turned her attention to Anders. "My name is El, this is Birdie, and the mysterious figure in the corner is Azure," she explained. "We aren't going to harm you."

He kept his staff in hand and the frown on his face. "Really? Because you tricked me into coming down here and now have me locked in a room with you all."

"The door ain't locked, stupid," Birdie said.

Another sigh from El drew his attention. "We are part of something called the Mage Underground," she said. "And we wished to speak with you. If at any point you want to leave, you can. Azure won't stop you from doing so." Anders nodded and loosened his grip on his staff slightly while still keeping it held in front of him.

"The Mage Underground?" he asked.

"Mhh," El said with a nod. "While our work includes a great many things, one of our main tasks is to free mages from the Gallows."

He arched a brow at that. " _How?_ As far as I can tell, the Gallows are the most heavily guarded Circle in all of Thedas."

El chuckled at that. "The how is not important right now. Speaking with you at all, revealing ourselves to you, is a great risk to us and the work we do, you understand."

He nodded, eyeing them all with a frown. "Why tell me at all?"

"That shall be explained shortly," El said. She smiled a bit. "We save mages, free them. We give them coin, get them to safety. In return, as thanks, many join our cause and aid us in helping _other_ mages. Because of this, our network grows larger every day."

"Are you mages yourselves then?" he asked cautiously, giving them all another look over.

Azure remained in the other corner, dressed in black, a slit of pale skin and vibrant blue eyes the only thing visible, minus the greatsword strapped to their back. Birdie was in all black, too, but where Azure's clothes were baggy, hers hugged her tiny lithe form. She was the tiniest human he'd ever seen—she was even shorter than Neri, but she seemed to have more than enough attitude to make up for it if the black short spiked hair and studded armour was anything to go by. She gave him a wicked smirk as he watched her and then flames were curling around the edges of her fingers.

"Some of us are," El said. "Not all. Azure and I are not."

"But you still help mages? Why?" he asked, scowling. Given his most recent experiences in Ferelden, most people cared more about the Templars getting slaughtered than they did the mages. He doubted somewhere as Templar-rich as Kirkwall had many mage sympathisers.

"We all have our reasons," El said. "Two of my children are in the Gallows. I couldn't stop the Templars from taking them, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from being their _mother_." She rested both her hands on the back of a wooden chair, expression dark. "I keep an eye on them through our network, and if they are ever in danger, we have the means to get them out, fast. Until then, they will be educated in the Gallows but under my watchful eye." She looked at him again. "Others have joined our network for similar reasons. Templars taking children affects a lot more people than those plated fools realise and the people it does affect are finally starting to get sick of it."

"And we've heard about Ferelden's Circle," Birdie said. "Lots of rumours say you blew it up, others say it were the Templars."

"It _was_ them," Anders snapped.

"And some believe it. Might be it helps bring more people to our cause but it don't really matter," she carried on. "What matters is that one Circle is now _free_. How long do you think it'll be 'til the others want some freedom, too?"

"Not long," El answered. "And when the Circles start to rebel, the Templars will clamp down even harder on them. There could be Annulments- entire Circles _wiped out_. And those Mages would be defenceless against such a thing trapped as they are in their prisons."

"And that's where the Mage Underground comes in," Birdie said with a grin. "We get the good mages out, the powerful ones, so that when those Rites of Annulment get waved about like flags, the free mages can charge in and fuck the Templars up the arse."

He stared at them in surprise. He had simply expected them to be hiding the mages, giving them somewhat normal lives free of the Templars. But they were actually planning to use them to _fight_ the Templars, if it became necessary. A mage rebellion, of sorts.

"So, you're building an… army?" he asked a little incredulously.

"Potentially," El admitted. "Someone needs to protect the mages."

"You can't have freed _that_ many though," he argued. "The Chantry and Templars would be all over that."

El smiled. "I told you, our network grows every day. We will be reaching out to Ferelden's new School for mages soon to see if they're willing to work with us as well." She looked up at him, her warm brown eyes suddenly serious and hard. "Anders, we want you to help us."

" _Me_?"

"Of course." She smiled, the wrinkles around her eyes crinkling more. "You're already helping mages by healing the sick here in Darktown, slowly helping them to realise that not all mages are bad. More than that, you're a spirit healer, a good one; those are rare. We could absolutely use you."

He sighed, pinching his nose. "I want to help… I do. I escaped from Kinloch Hold seven times… I _hate_ the Circle and I even have a friend in the Gallows here. But I came to Kirkwall to lay low. If I start breaking into the Gallows—"

"You wouldn't be doing that, not really," El reassured him. "Until you're fully on board, we can't explain further. But I don't expect you to make any decisions today." She put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it encouragingly. "Go to the Gallows, if you haven't already. See the prison for yourself. We'll talk later, and if you decide to join us, we'll tell you anything you want to know."

"…Alright."

She smiled again. "Stay safe and may the Maker watch over you."

Azure, who had remained silent throughout, opened the door for him and gave him a curt nod. Anders stepped through and back out into the grimy streets of Darktown, hearing the door shut again behind him, and pulled his collar up close to his nose before heading back the way he had come.

The idea of there being a secret mage army hiding in cities across Thedas, just waiting for the moment they were needed to help their fellows still trapped in Circles was… exciting. He'd dreamt of something like this happening his entire life; he just never thought to see it. But now Neri had set off a chain of events that _could_ lead to mage freedom - unless the Chantry proved too powerful and instead wiped out every mage in Thedas, of course.

He couldn't help but think that this Mage Underground had the right of it, though—mages locked in a Tower couldn't do anything against Annulment, but mages outside of it? They could warn them, defend them, help them flee.

And this organisation wanted his help to make that a reality. Despite being gone, Anders could practically hear Justice telling him to help them, to help lead this rebellion. But as much as he wanted to say yes, to help them, thoughts of Neri lingered in his mind. She was his priority and he wasn't about to go do anything that could change that.

That didn't mean he couldn't help a _little_ bit though…

He found his way back to the clinic, popping his head in long enough to change out of his armour and coat and leave his staff behind, and then he was off out again, leaving a confused looking Kit behind to watch over the clinic.

It was late afternoon by the time he reached Lowtown and he smiled in sweet relief at breathing non-sewer air deep into his lungs. The weather was quite cool, with a strong breeze rolling through the narrow streets which had, thankfully, whipped away the smoking fumes of the factory district.

The streets were busy, with most people out trying to catch the day's end discounts, and all around him people were chatting away with one another, but there was one thing he kept hearing crop up: Kinloch Hold. People were gossiping about it. Some still thought it was some Warden conspiracy, others were whispering about the Templars. Anders instinctively kept his head low because the last thing he wanted was another angry mob recognising him.

It actually cost money to get to the Gallows, a whole silver, he found out—probably to deter too many people from making the crossing. It wasn't going to deter him though. He hopped into the little boat and the oarsman set off for the Gallows.

The damned prison took up half the harbour, it was so huge and despite the boat rocking about on the choppy waters, Anders' eyes never left the slave statues that were staring down at him. Slaves, mages, there was barely any difference in how a mage child looked compared to a slave with their hands covering their face and their tears. He couldn't help but notice that the black stone they had been carved from glinted in the sun, shining right off of some of their foreheads like some twisted metaphor for the Rite of Tranquility.

His lip twisted at the sight and he forced his eyes down from the statues to look forward to the approaching dock instead. Templars were all over it, some marching up and down patrolling, others standing around talking. As the ferryman pulled into it, several of those Templars came toward him.

"State your business here," one with sandy blond hair said, his blue eyes narrowed.

Anders lifted up his coin purse. "Just here to purchase a few things," he said with a charming smile. The Templar grunted but let him pass.

"No funny business," the other warned.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Anders called over his shoulder as he headed into the Gallows courtyard.

The courtyard was just as depressing as the outside. Templars were everywhere, marching around in formation, standing around the edges simply _watching_ , while some others focused on training. And then there were the Tranquil. Tranquil merchants selling their wares. Tranquil scribes following the Templars around. Tranquil reading out the Chant. Those disgusting sunburst marks marred their foreheads, some even looking red and fresh. He shuddered. He noticed there were a few mages, too, some clearly not as leashed as others were, but they seemed few and far between.

He wasn't sure just _how_ the Mage Underground got mages out of here—there was certainly no way they did it from up here, although he supposed with a name like 'Mage Underground', they probably got the mages out _under_ the _ground_. He doubted such a thing was safe though; there must be high risks involved with a place like this, but he also suspected people were desperate enough to try it. He couldn't blame them. The Tower in Ferelden had been enough of a prison and that was supposedly one of the nicer Circles, if the Templars who'd been stationed at others could be believed. He couldn't imagine being trapped in a prison like this, and he doubted he would have ever escaped from it, either.

If there was a chance he could help people here, a chance he could help Karl, then he had to take it, didn't he? Surely Neri would agree. She'd freed the Circle in Ferelden; he doubted she'd do _nothing_ if he mentioned it to her _._ Stuff like this angered her just as much as it did him, after all.

His mind made up, he turned to head back out of the Gallows. That's when he spotted a very familiar man, his dark hair still styled up in that silly little quiff of his, even if it had greyed somewhat, and that same old thick beard covering much of his beautiful face, just at the same moment as he spotted him.

_Karl_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoe lee fuck. Lots happened in this one. Or it felt like it did to me. Fen and Theo's baking extravaganza. More UST and flirting. Chickens. Anders and the MU. And of course, Karl's first appearance. *swoon* And hey. He's not Tranquil. (yet) (I'm kidding, I wouldn't do that.) (Or would I?) 
> 
> Fair warning. The next one has smut. Like...proper smut. Any guesses as to which two men are fucking? ;)


	21. Mind's Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like age gaps, so the history with Karl and Anders is different to whatever it was in WOTVII. Also, there is smut in this one. It's faaaairly implicit and not too long. But it is M/M. So you might want to skim read that part, if you aren't a fan. Also, I introduce a new OC in this one as a thank you gift for Vergil (from FFnet). She'll be popping up a bit more throughout this fic, so I hope you like herrrrr.

 

Anders stared, mouth ajar. He hadn't seen Karl for… _years_. Nearly a decade. He looked just as he remembered him though, except for all the new grey hairs. He couldn't believe his luck, bumping into him like this, on the one day he decided to randomly visit the Gallows. What were the chances of that?

Karl gave him a small, barely there wave, and that finally snapped him out of his shock and forced his feet forward toward Karl. The older mage seemed to hesitate, looking nervously at the Templars, but Anders carried on toward him. At the last possible moment he deliberately tripped and sent the contents of his coin purse scattering across the ground around Karl's feet. They both crouched down quickly to pick up the coins, but they paused when their eyes locked, Karl's grey staring into Anders' amber. Anders smiled, his eyes filling with tears. It had been _so_ long.

"Karl," he breathed.

"Anders," Karl said with a wry smile. "Up to tricks as usual, I see."

Anders smirked. "It's good to see you, too." Karl's smile widened, making the corners of his eyes crinkle. Anders' stomach flipped at the sight. He cleared his throat and began to actually pick up the coins before some of the Templars noticed their prolonged staring at one another. Karl did the same.

"I feared the worst when I heard about Kinloch Hold," Karl whispered, as his fingers brushed Anders' as they reached for the same copper. Anders swallowed, suddenly overwhelmed by warmth.

"I've been out for a while, with the Wardens," he said quickly. "Neri, she conscripted me."

"Not quite free then?"

Anders let out a chuff of laughter. "Freer than you, at least." He finished putting the coins in his pouch. "I want to help."

"Anders…"

"There might be a way."

"It's not safe," Karl said, head shaking. "Things are too tense here. Just talking to you could-"

"Oi, mage, get a move on!" one of the Templars shouted, making Karl wince slightly.

"Please, Anders, don't do anything brash," Karl pleaded giving his wrist a brief squeeze.

Reluctantly Anders nodded, shoulders slumping. Karl smiled and with one final look, he stood and carried on walking. Anders watched his back until Karl disappeared through the Gallows' gates, and then he swallowed, his throat thick, and quickly turned on his heel, heading out of the Gallows before the tears could fall.

* * *

 

Theo had thought coming home would stop him from thinking about Fenris, or at least make his dick stop thinking about him. He was very, very wrong. Mother had spent most of the afternoon talking about the estate, and Hightown, and all Theo could think the entire time was that he would eventually be _neighbours_ with Fenris. Quite literally, they'd live a few courtyards apart. He didn't think he'd ever been this sexually frustrated. He _needed_ to have sex. But it couldn't be with Fenris, which didn't leave him with _that_ many options.

He had just been about to get up and go to the Rose when there was a knock at the door. He sighed, getting the door as mother continued telling Gamlen about all the wonderful things the Hightown markets sold.

Aveline was on the other side of the door, smiling gingerly at him. "Hello Hawke," she said.

He narrowed his eyes at her. He'd only been home a few hours, for her to know he'd be here… "Were you camping on my doorstep again?"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "No, Hawke. My guards told me they'd seen you heading home and I wanted to check that you were well. Nobody would tell me where you were staying, although I have a pretty good idea," she said in her ' _Aveline is not impressed'_ voice.

"Aha," he said smiling impishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess you want to come in then?"

"Saves me questioning you out here in the cold," she said as she stepped in through the door.

Theo sighed as he shut it behind her and waited for her to be finished greeting his mother and uncle.

"I'll show Gamlen the chickens, dear," his mother said, giving him a nod as she dragged his uncle out into the garden, leaving Theo alone with Aveline.

She turned to face him, scowling slightly, but he managed to speak before she did.

"So, how's Donnic?"

Her scowl deepened. "He has recovered well from the ambush," she said evenly.

"That's good," Theo said with a smile. "Did he need much care? Did you change his bandages? Feed him his medicine? _Wash_ him?"

Aveline folded her arms. "No. And I know what you're doing, Hawke, it won't work."

"Oh?"

"There is nothing – we are just colleagues."

"Mmmhmm," he said, smiling knowingly at her. She flushed slightly. "Seen him lately then?"

"He was on night patrol last night. So no, he is sleeping now."

"Oh, there are beds at the barracks? That must be nice," he said as headed to the table.

"Don't start, Hawke. You're avoiding the reason I'm here," she said, following him.

"Am I?" he asked as he casually picked up a slice of cake from the table and took a bite from it.

"You were badly injured and I found out about it a day later, from the dwarf. Then my guards reported seeing you and your companions coming and going from a rundown mansion in Hightown. There have also been sightings of a white-haired elf coming and going from that same mansion. So, you going to tell me what's going on, or do I have to take a group of my men up there right now and find out for myself?"

Theo groaned and plonked his arse down at the table. "The elf's name is Fenris. He's someone we met recently. He's a friend, Aveline."

"And he lives in a rundown mansion in Hightown?"

"It belonged to his former master. He's an ex-slave who's been on the run the past six months or so."

Aveline's expression flashed with sympathy and then she sighed. "Hawke, that mansion doesn't belong to him-"

"I know, but the owner isn't exactly around either, so does it really hurt anyone if he stays there?"

"He's squatting in Hightown, the nobles _will_ notice eventually."

"I know that too. But he just needs a break for a while—he was injured the same night as me. And once we're back from the Deep Roads, I'll be able to sort out something more permanent for him. I just need a bit more time…"

Aveline exhaled, nodding. "Very well. I'll do what I can… but no promises."

" _Thank you_ , Aveline."

She nodded and took a seat opposite him. "I also heard from a very excited dwarf that Neria is coming here." She smiled softly. "I wasn't sure we'd ever see her again."

Theo nodded. "Me neither, but she is. She's coming here to collect one of her Wardens."

Aveline looked wistful all of a sudden. "I still find it hard to believe that the tiny curly haired elf we met two years ago killed the Archdemon."

"I don't, didn't you _see_ her fighting at Ostagar alongside the Wardens and King?"

Aveline gave him a look. "I was a little busy fleeing with the rest of the soldiers, Hawke."

Theo scoffed. "I got shot in the leg with an arrow and _still_ saw her fighting."

"That's probably _why_ you got shot."

Theo laughed. "Yeah, probably," he said, grinning.

"So, what else is new?" Aveline asked as she picked up a slice of cake.

* * *

 

Anders barely remembered the walk back to the clinic, too lost in memories of him and Karl back in Ferelden. Of the first time he'd seen the older mage with that scruffy beard of his and those shiny smiling eyes staring down at him in amusement as Anders turned up late to his first ever lesson with him. The lesson had been hands on—Karl had asked Anders to punch him in the face so that he could show everyone how to heal a simple cut and bruise.

Anders hadn't missed – or been late to – a single lesson after that because for once, he hadn't found the lessons boring. Karl was so passionate about magic and he _cared_ , really cared about those he mentored. There had been times where they spent all day discussing magic and long evenings together where they talked about anything and everything else.

For a few short years, the Tower hadn't seemed so bad. Then Karl had been shipped off to Kirkwall and Anders had handled it…poorly. But he was as free as he was ever likely to be now, and Karl was still a prisoner. He had to try to help him, didn't he? If he was careful, it might work; he could use the Mage Underground to get him out and some place safe. Maybe. He would at least have to run it by them, see if there was anything that could be done.

Kit and Yasmin were still in the clinic by the time he got back and both were more than a little curious as to what he'd been up to.

"You Wardens are always so mysterious," Kit complained when Anders refused to explain.

Yasmin let out an amused chuckle. "That's why they're so damned sexy though, innit?"

Kit sighed a little wistfully. "You can say that again."

"Zevran wasn't a Warden," Anders groused. Honestly, Kit had such an unhealthy obsession with the ex-Crow.

"Who says I was talking about _him_?" Kit said, winking.

Anders snorted and smiled at the young elf.

"That Slayer of yours certainly has good taste," Kit continued, flashing him a grin.

Anders rolled his eyes but there was a smile at his lips.

**…**

Much later, Anders was finally able to close the clinic. After the day he'd had, he needed a drink, or several. As he headed down the corridor though, one of the Mage Underground members was waiting for him—the quiet one, Azure. Those electric blue eyes of theirs were, once again, the only thing he could see through all the black cloth covering their face and body. He still didn't know what gender this person was, let alone anything else about them. They nodded a greeting at Anders, which he returned, before they then pulled out a small white card and offered it to him. He took it and glanced down at the message scrawled on it.

_A,_

_Not a pleasant place, is it?_

_I imagine you'll want to talk soon._

_You'd be a fool not to want to get to know us first._

_We'll be in touch._

_In the meantime, stay safe._

_El_.

Anders looked back up at Azure, frowning slightly. "How'd you know I went to the Gallows at all?" Blue eyes blinked at him and he sighed. "Is the mute thing for a particular reason or did you lose your tongue?" They blinked again and Anders shook his head. "Never mind. I guess I'll see you… soon?"

Azure nodded once.

"Okay then."

It was fairly late in the day by the time Anders reached Lowtown, the sky just beginning to darken as dusk approached, and only blackened further by factory smoke that clung to the air around the lower city. Anders pushed past the people all hanging around outside The Hanged Man, drinking and shouting, and headed inside. He was met by the usual scene: drunks sitting at the tables in front; a few quieter patrons sitting off to the side, watching the room; a group at the back, playing darts; and another sitting near the fire laughing and chatting amicably.

He already recognised a few of the regulars—some even lifted their flagons to him in greeting. He nodded back and headed to the bar, finding a lone elven woman perched on one of the stools. Her glossy, silver hair shimmered in the flickering torchlight and he found himself following those soft waves down her back to the pert little ass that was barely resting against the rickety old chair. She sat cleaning a wicked looking silverite blade and, not surprisingly, most of the men in the tavern had decided to stay clear of her.

Anders walked up to the bar and slumped down in the chair next to her while he waited for Corf to get back from the kitchen. He could see the elf regarding him out of the corner of his eye, but honestly, the last thing he wanted right now was conversation, not with thoughts of Karl weighing so heavily on his mind. He needed to think, to consider, and he needed to do it with a damned drink in hand.

"Seems like you could use a drink, caro," the elf said, her Antivan accent obvious.

Anders glanced at her, finding chocolate brown eyes staring at him through thick, light lashes. She was a pretty, lithe thing, with the typical sharp facial features most elves had. She looked nothing like Neri—her skin was too dark and lacked freckles, her eyes the wrong shade of brown, her hair desaturated of colour where Neri's was always bursting with vibrancy. This elf was taller, too, more muscled, and she held herself like a noble, despite obviously not being one. But she was still an elf. And apparently all it took was those two pointed ears sticking out of her long hair to remind him, heart-achingly, of Neri.

"That obvious, is it?"

Her lips curved in something that resembled a smile but wasn't quite one. She turned her gaze to the kitchen and then rolled her eyes. "They're hardly being subtle about their dalliance," she muttered.

"Who?"

"Either you don't come here often, or you aren't too observant," she said with that slightly sharp smile still curving her lips. "The owner and the waitress – Nora, was it?"

Anders blinked. "You mean they're… right now?"

She let out a chirp of laughter. "Why not see for yourself?"

"I'd rather just get that drink."

She nodded and then leaned over the counter and poured one for him, rather dextrously. She used her dagger to cut the foam clean off the top then passed it to him with a casual shrug as he stared at her wide eyed.

"Thanks," he said as he cast a quick frost spell on the glass, cooling the drink inside.

If she was bothered by him being a mage, she didn't show it, and he lifted the flagon to his lips. He took a long sip, enjoying the cool, bitter taste that flooded his mouth and the way the froth hit his upper lip, the bubbles popping against his stubble.

He put his glass down a moment later and wiped his lip, sighing contentedly as the cold liquid worked its way down to his stomach. It wasn't the most ideal situation, being here in Kirkwall on his own, not after everything that had happened, but it was remarkable how something as simple as a drink could help set his mind at ease. And he wasn't alone, not exactly. He had Hawke and Varric and Isabela and the twins and the helpers at the clinic. And Karl was in the city too. His chest ached just thinking about him trapped inside that wretched prison. He hoped Karl hadn't suffered there, that they hadn't abused or beaten him-all those grey hairs, was it from stress? He couldn't help but wonder, and worry. He shook his head a little and drank more of his drink, needing to re-clear his mind.

He could feel the elf watching him again and gave her a sideways glance. She immediately went back to cleaning her longsword, and Anders shifted in his chair to better face her. "I'm Anders, by the way."

She continued her movements, working a cloth over the shiny blade, but her gaze raked up his body, then met his. "Giselle," she said, her Antivan accent tinged ever so slightly with something akin to wariness or caution.

He smiled warmly. "You been hounded by a lot of men this evening, Giselle?"

Her eyes sharpened and her lip twitched. "That implies they were relentless in their harassment." Her head tilted slightly as she continued to regard him. "Men don't tend to approach me when I have one of these beauties out in the open," she said as she lifted the blade she'd been cleaning. There was a lethal glint in her eyes as she turned her gaze on him. "Doesn't seem to be very effective against you, however."

"If you're planning on stabbing me, could you at least let me finish my drink first?" he asked.

She smirked. "Of course, I'm not _entirely_ unreasonable."

He scoffed and took another sip of his drink-a deliberately slow one, just in case she was being serious. He never could tell with Antivans.

She smiled that sharp smile again and looked away, down at her blade, and he couldn't help but admire it.

"We use silverite to fight darkspawn quite a lot," he commented.

Those dark eyes of hers snapped back up to his, a slight crease forming between her brows. " _We_?"

"Wardens," he clarified, noticing the way her face lifted in surprise before evening out again.

"Admirable work," she replied. "I saw darkspawn while in Ferelden..." Her features darkened and she grew quiet. He knew that look well. Very little good ever came from encountering darkspawn. Whether it was just seeing their gruesome faces, or seeing them cut someone you knew down, or something worse, it always left its mark on your memories and your soul. He leant over the counter and poured out another flagon.

"Looks like you're the one that needs a drink now," he said, handing it to her with a smile.

She let out a chuff of laughter, one with a slightly rueful edge to it, but nodded and took the drink from him with a thankful smile.

"Sparky!" a familiar voice suddenly called from behind him. He needn't have bothered turning around to face the sound of that shout to know Isabela was sauntering toward him. He did anyway though, grinning as she approached. She was carrying two bottles of wine and wearing a tight navy blue shirt with her favourite brown knee-high boots. "Everyone else is busy, so _we're_ getting drunk."

He frowned. "Wait, what are they all doing?"

She rolled her eyes. "Only what we're doing matters. Are you coming or what, tiger?" she asked as she lifted the bottles and cocked her hip out impatiently. Her eyes then caught sight of the pretty elf at his side and hooded slightly. "Or was I… interrupting something?" she asked in a purr.

Giselle met the pirate's gaze, her eyes sparkling with some emotion Anders couldn't place. "Not at all," she said. "By all means, go and get drunk."

Isabela grinned. "You can join us, if you like, sweet thing."

"Such a lovely offer," the elf replied a little crisply. "One I will have to pass on, however."

"Spoil sport," Isabela pouted. "If you change your mind, I _like_ elves," she said with a wink. She turned back to Anders. "Come on, these won't drink themselves, you know."

He chuckled and dipped his head to Giselle. "Nice meeting you."

"Likewise," she said with a dip of her own head, before Anders was dragged away from the bar by Isabela and up toward Varric's empty suite.

* * *

 

Fenris stared down at the cards in his hand, keeping his face impassive as he plotted his next move. The dwarf still posed a real threat; he usually had some trick or other up his sleeve, often literally. Bethany hid behind sweet smiles and conversation, seeming to barely pay attention to the game, but like her mother, it was a ploy—she really was rather good at Wicked Grace, when she wanted to be. Carver posed no threat whatsoever given his inebriated state. And it wasn't like they were playing for anything more than conversation, this time. Varric put his cards down and Carver immediately groaned.

"Come on dorf!" he slurred. "No fair takin' 'vantage o'me like'is."

Varric let out a short snort. "Junior, if I really wanted to take advantage of you I'd have taken your clothes when you lost that last bet as well as all your coin."

"You're still cheatin'," he accused. "Keep'on looking at my cards."

"It's not my fault you keep waving them around like a flag," Varric said laughing and shaking his head as he grabbed his flagon to take another long swallow of ale.

"I feel used," Carver said, pouting and shoulders slumped.

Varric chuckled. "Ah, but look on the bright side, little Hawke, at least you'll never feel overshadowed around me."

"Unless he starts lying on the ground," Bethany mused, barely concealing a smirk of amusement at her twin's current state.

"Which is likely, given how much alcohol he's consumed," Fenris added, briefly letting his gaze flick up to them all before returning it to his cards.

"And just why isn't you drunk yet, elf?" Carver asked, words slurred, as he turned to face Fenris with a wonky frown.

"It is difficult to get drunk when you are drinking grape juice instead of wine," he replied with a slight sigh.

"Oh, yeah," Carver mumbled.

"That reminds me," Bethany said, smiling all too eagerly. "Time for your medicine, Fenris." She glanced at Varric and Carver. "Start discussing what we can do for Theo's birthday. This is the first time in years I think he might actually be up for a party, so we need to make it good, which means planning in advance."

"Already on it, Sunshine," Varric said, smiling brightly. "Not sure how much help your brother'll be. But we'll think of something."

"I'm plenty 'elpful," Carver grumbled.

"Sure you are, Junior," Varric said, patting Carver's back with a wry smile as Fenris got up from the table and followed Bethany out into the mostly clean kitchen. He leant against the table while Bethany measured out the medicine for him.

He hadn't actually realised Hawke's birthday was coming up. Not that he would have any means of knowing such a thing unless it had come up in conversation. Birthdays were not something he often gave much thought to—he did not even know when his own was. The Imperium was fond of celebrating life events, but the only event Danarius ever celebrated that involved Fenris was the date of the Ritual. Every year he would host an event and parade Fenris around like the dog that he was.

No more though. Fenris could finally celebrate his own achievements instead. His escape, for one. And perhaps now, a friend's birthday, too.

"Hawke's birthday," Fenris said as he turned to face Bethany. "When is it?"

She looked up at him with a smile. "A while away yet, but if we're really going to have a party, we'll need to start thinking about it all now." Her brown eyes watched him, flickering across his face. "I was thinking about going shopping for a gift for him soon though. I never know what to get him so I pop to the shops a lot trying to think of ideas. Would you like to accompany me some time? Or my brother, if you'd rather not with a mage-"

"No," he said quickly. She frowned slightly and he shook his head. "I meant, no, I'd not prefer your twin's company to you. I…" He looked down, sighing. "I do not know if I should get Hawke something. I have never celebrated someone's birthday before."

"Oh." She looked a little surprised before it evened out into a soft smile. "Well, people usually get the birthday girl or boy _something_ , even if it's just a card. But don't feel like you have to. I just thought you might appreciate doing something other than failing to bake cakes or fighting." Her smile stretched wider. "Plus, you might wrangle a story or two out of me about Theo when he was little."

Fenris smiled back at her, watching her through his fringe. "I think I'd like that."

"Good. It'll be fun," she said brightly. "But first we need to make sure you're healthy enough. So, medicine time."

He groaned. He was already sick of this foul drink and Bethany was relentless with her care. He swallowed it all down, doing his best not to gag at the vile taste. She immediately handed him a glass of water to wash it down with and he swallowed that in a few quick gulps, wincing at the after taste remaining in his mouth.

"Come on. Let's go make sure Varric and Carver aren't planning on surprising Theo with fifty ogres all dressed up in Chanty robes or something equally absurd."

"That would make for quite the memorable surprise," Fenris said.

She giggled and he found himself smiling at the sound. "Can you imagine Theo's face at seeing something like that?"

"A mix of confusion and amusement, I would think."

"He'd probably wonder how we rounded up so many ogres."

Fenris smirked. "And how you were able to dress them in Chantry robes."

"Or found Chantry robes that big," she added, laughing softly as they headed back through to the dining hall.

"We just 'av to pretend to forget about it," Carver was saying. "That'll make the surprise even better."

"Carver, that's just cruel," Bethany chided.

"It _would_ be effective though, Sunshine." Varric tapped his chin thoughtfully as the two of them sat back down. "Let's see… We'd need Hawke distracted all day, kept busy somehow. Broody, you can be the one to make sure that's the case while the rest of us prepare."

"Why me?" he asked, scowling at the dwarf. He had no desire to lie to Hawke, let alone trick him in such a way.

"Because you can be very distracting when you want to be. Trust me, Broody. You'll just have to keep Hawke out of the Hanged Man for the day. Shouldn't be _too_ hard, Hawke's only a borderline alcoholic after all." He grinned, eyes twinkling. "Besides, would you rather be out somewhere with Hawke, or in The Hanged Man putting up decorations?" Fenris sighed. "Thought as much," Varric said, his grin widening. "But enough of that, we ought to get going. Templar patrol ended half an hour ago, right Sunshine?"

Bethany nodded. "Yep. Should be safe to head out again now."

"Same time tomorrow?" Varric asked Fenris as he got up from the table.

"Of course," Fenris replied, meaning it. He much preferred these sorts of meet ups to the ones at The Hanged Man. It was quieter here. Out of the way. After spending the life he could remember on show in Tevinter, it was nice to remain discreet here.

He watched as Bethany helped her drunken brother up from the table despite Carver's efforts to do so on his own. "You'll stand on one of Varric's traps if you don't let me help you," she grumbled.

"Ha!" Varric barked out. "That'd make for a great story."

"No more stories!" Carver whined. "'Specially not ones 'bout me."

Slowly, the Hawke twins and the dwarf made it to the door, narrowly avoiding the traps Varric had helpfully set up around the mansion, before they said goodbye to one another.

Fenris closed the door behind them then inhaled a deep breath. It was odd to be alone again, with no Hawke, specifically. He had rather gotten used to the rogue's company these past few days. It was odder still that Hawke had left so suddenly, especially considering how well things had been going. Although his ridiculous game of announcing everything he did had grated on Fenris' nerves, he found himself rather missing the company, not that he could blame Hawke for returning home. He was better, it had been days, and his mother was clearly worried sick if the amount of cakes Fenris had been receiving were anything to go by.

He locked the door and went about his usual patrol of the mansion, checking the windows, doors, and now the traps, too. Varric had worked exceptionally fast to outfit the mansion with such security measures, asking his network to bring him the necessary supplies as quickly as possible. And Fenris had to admit, he did feel a little safer for it. It would buy him time at any rate, should hunters come for him, a fact which was almost inevitable.

He made his way to the room Hawke had made his own the past few nights and, curious, he pushed the door open. He wasn't sure how he had expected to find the room. Fenris' own was often a mess—the sheets never made, empty bottles of wine strewn about the room, but Hawke's room looked immaculate. Given how unkempt the rogue himself could be with his scruffy beard and long messy hair, he had not expected him to be a tidy person at all. Yet the bed was made, the curtains were open and tied back neatly, the mantle even looked as if it had been dusted. He wasn't sure why Hawke had bothered at all. But he decided to leave everything as it was, in case the rogue ever needed to stay the night again.

* * *

 

It was inevitable really, Theo ending up at the Rose. Between Fenris being sexy even when covered in flour, his siblings and Varric planning double dates, and his mother talking about moving into Hightown, finding a partner to settle down with, and even Aveline talking about Fenris, Theo was well beyond the point of no return. He'd been tempted to have drinks at The Hanged Man, but he was too desperate for it, and if he went there, he could easily end up sleeping with Anders or Isabela, and he didn't want that. And thus, he was outside The Rose sober, for the first time ever.

He headed in and approached Madam Lusine. She smiled in recognition.

"Hawke, been a while. Here for your usual?"

He hesitated. He hadn't ever done this sober before. Usually he was so sloshed he couldn't remember their faces the next day; it was only the friendly greeting most of them gave him upon entering the Rose that he knew who he'd been with at all.

"Yeah, whoever's free," he replied, rubbing his forearms a little self-consciously.

"Mmmm," someone purred from his left. He turned just in time to see the rusty-haired elf with the dark blue eyes sauntering toward him, and his mouth went dry at the sight. _Jethann_. He hadn't seen the elf since his last visit here, when he'd come with Fenris, had forgotten about him completely, to be honest, but now he was remembering everything the elf had said and done while he'd interrogated him and he swallowed thickly. "I'm available, why don't you _come_ with me?" the whore asked, winking.

Theo avoided men here at The Rose. He avoided men _everywhere_. He just couldn't after Tanner. But his permanently hard cock twitched at the thought of being with a man now, an elf especially.

"Okay," he heard himself breathe out.

Jethann's face lit up, those big eyes of his darkening in smug satisfaction. The elf reached out and took Theo's hand, barely giving Theo time to toss Madam Lusine the coin for him, and dragged Theo up the stairs, to the room he'd been in before. The door had hardly shut before Jethann's pretty bow-shaped lips were closing over his own, slanting against them, hot and wet and _right_. Theo melted into it instantly.

He wrapped his arms around the elf's narrow neck and dragged him closer, deepening their kiss. He hummed as slender elven fingers slid up through his beard, just as he'd pictured Fenris' calloused fingers doing time and time again, and up into his hair where they grabbed thick fistfuls of the messy tresses. Theo moaned shamelessly, body going lax and Jethann took that moment to shove Theo's legs apart with a thigh and press himself even closer to him. With that thick thigh between his own legs, Theo couldn't have stopped himself from grinding against it even if he wanted to, the hot heat of Jethann a sweet contrast to the cool wall at his back.

He'd always been submissive with Tanner, always bottomed, but since then, he'd never wanted that, never _done_ anything like that again. He fucked people to lessen his anger and stress, that was it. But _this_ …this was nothing like that. He found himself letting Jethann control their kiss, control everything they did as the whore began tugging off both of their clothes.

Theo let out a hiss as their bare chests pressed flush to one another, feeling all that hard muscle and hot skin pinning him against the wall as that talented mouth and tongue stole his breath away. He slid his hands around the elf's narrow waist, tugging him even closer as Jethann's hands fisted again in his hair, and he couldn't help but slide his hands lower, over the elf's firm ass, imagining that Fenris' would feel just as good in his palms.

Jethann pulled back a moment later, his blue eyes dark and hooded. He smirked as his slender fingers slid through Theo's own. " _Come_ ," the elf purred, as he tugged him toward the bed. Theo followed eagerly, breathless and already lost to the fog of desire.

They shrugged off the last of their clothes and shoes, and then Theo was on his back on the bed with a smirking elf crawling over him. He groaned at finally seeing _all_ of the pretty elf and that only made Jethann's smirk widen.

"You're not the only one who likes what he sees," the elf said, eyes hooding just a touch more.

Theo lay there, helpless and whimpering as soft wet lips began kissing their way over his body. It should have reminded him of Tanner doing the exact same thing so many times throughout their relationship, but when he closed his eyes, all he pictured was Fenris doing it to him.

His hands slipped into that silky soft hair and kneaded the elf's scalp, drawing out muffled little moans from his partner. And when those kiss-bruised lips finally sealed themselves around Theo's hardness, he gasped, his hips bucking upwards, pushing himself deeper into that hot wet mouth. His hips buckled again when the elf chuckled around him, sending wonderful vibrations straight through him and making his fingers curl tighter in all that soft hair.

By the time the elf's lips pulled off him, Theo was a panting, sweaty mess and utterly desperate to cum, his whole body drawn tight from being brought so close to the edge by that wicked mouth.

"Please," Theo heard himself plead. "Fuck me."

Hands paused their roaming movements over his tense body, surprised, perhaps. The elf let out a soft hum. "Not often I get to do _that_." The elf shoved his legs up, bending them. "When was the last time you-" Theo cried out as fingers slid up his backside, his whole body buckling, and the elf immediately chuckled. "A while, then." Lips kissed his knee and Theo slowly relaxed again. "I guess I'll just have to prepare you," the elf said, voice husky with desire.

Theo moaned shamelessly, eyes still shut and picturing Fenris as he slowly slipped in an oiled up finger. His body quivered in response, drawn tight one moment, then relaxing with hips eagerly rocking on that finger the next. The elf slipped a second finger in, stretching him and Theo whimpered breathlessly, his legs trembling already. It had been so long, _too_ long since he'd let anyone do this to him. How had he denied himself this for so long? _Why_ had he?

With Theo trembling and panting, those fingers finally stopped their torturous work. There was a pause as the elf lined himself up, one where Theo held his breath, waiting. It left him in a rush when the tip pressed against him. And then he was groaning, long and hard, as the elf pushed into him, letting out his own pleasured moans as he did so. The elf stayed still for what felt like forever while Theo willed his body to relax, willed his breathing to even out as he adjusted to the intrusion. But his impatience got the better of him and soon he was whining and rolling his hips, trying to get the elf to _move_.

" _Someone's_ impatient," the elf chuckled.

Smirking lips kissed at his neck and Theo shivered, body finally fully relaxing, and the elf began to move. His movements were not fast like Theo had expected, however. They were slow, just easing in and out of him with a roll of slender hips that had Theo whimpering pathetically and wrapping his legs and arms around the elf leaning over him. He dragged his partner's head up by a fist of hair until they were kissing desperately again, both moaning and whimpering into each other's mouths.

He let out another desperate sound when the elf's tongue plunged into his mouth, muffling most of the already broken sounds he was making. Theo's hands wrapped tighter around the elf's thin neck, his fingers carding through all that soft hair as he pulled his lover closer to him, his own hips desperately snapping up to greet the elf's teasing thrusts.

He knew he wasn't going to last long. Not when it had been so long since he'd bottomed, when he was so sensitive and desperate for it. Already his body was shaking, tightening and clenching as his climax approached. So it didn't surprise him that, when the elf slipped his hand down between them to wrap long fingers around Theo's neglected arousal, he lost it hard, finishing with a broken scream. His violent convulsing threw the elf over too and that only made Theo's own climax last longer as he was flooded with new sensation. The elf collapsed down on him a moment later, panting hard, and Theo slumped back too, utterly sated, finally.

They lay there breathless for many long minutes, with Theo stroking the elf's hair, a big content smile on his face. His partner pulled back a bit and Theo finally reopened his eyes, blinking up at Jethann. The whore was smirking again, playfully.

"I was wondering who you were picturing the whole time," he said, still smirking. "I just got my answer. _Fenris_ ," the elf purred, trying the name out. Theo's eyes widened. Had he…called out Fenris' name when he came? He felt his already red cheeks flush further. The whore just chuckled. "Was he that _pretty_ elf you were here with the other day? Mmm. Can't blame you at all for wanting to get ploughed by _that_."

"I-"

Jethann chuckled again as he rolled off of him. "Think nothing of it," he said as he hopped off the bed, waving a hand dismissively. "I enjoyed _you_ very much. In fact, if you ever want to do a bit of roleplay, I'll happily oblige." He winked and Theo cleared his throat, embarrassed. Maker's knobbly kneecaps, what had he gotten himself into now?

"I've never…I didn't even realise I was…" Theo sighed. He hadn't meant to picture Fenris that entire time; he actually felt guilty that he had.

Jethann laughed. "Can't even finish a sentence. I'll take _that_ as a compliment." He threw a cloth at him and Theo cleaned himself up with it. "You ever want to do that again, it's not _hard_ to find me."

Theo blushed again as he shoved his clothes back on. The ache in his backside was something he hadn't felt for years and he couldn't help but admit, he'd missed it.

He paused at the door, glancing at the whore. "…Thanks," he said, head ducked a bit, hiding behind his hair.

Jethann looked so smug. as he smiled slowly at him. "No, thank _you_. That was a treat I won't soon forget the taste of." The elf winked at him, making Theo blush even as he smiled.

He quickly left Jethann's room and the Rose all together, pulling his scarf up close to his face as the cold outside air washed over him. Already he could feel his cheeks cooling and he smiled gratefully. A slow walk home would see the rest of the redness on his cheeks gone—it wasn't like his legs were strong enough for much more after what he'd just done anyway—and with any luck, his mother would never suspect a thing.

It was there, standing outside the Rose, hidden in the shadows, about to head home, that he spotted the group of armed men walking through the streets. Even in the dark, he'd recognise that armour anywhere.

_Slavers_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews, everyone! Hope you liked this one. Had any of you guessed it would be Theo and Jethann? Cookies if you did XD. Anyway, hope you liked this one. The next update will have more action, naturally. We get to see Theo on a one-man, post-coital, stealth mission to save Fenris, so that should be fun, yes? ;P I hope you guys also liked Giselle. She's going to be important later to a plotline with a certain other Antivan that we all love dearly.
> 
> Anyway, thanks again and please keep the support coming. And a massive thanks to Lys, for the beta!
> 
> See you all in like two weeks, probably, unless the UK crashes and burns before then XD.


	22. The Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently these past few chapters have been my 'introduce OC chapters' and this one continues that trend. They're mostly to flesh out the world, give it more character and life. I haven't necessarily decided to use them all for some important thing later on.
> 
> Oh, and this 'quest' isn't in the game, was just something I added for fun. Wanted to show off what Theo can do when he plans ahead and takes things slow vs getting ambushed/surprised.
> 
> Also, **warning** for this chapter: there's some rape undertones.

 

Bloody _fuck_ did Theo regret not bringing his daggers to The Rose. Although not having his daggers with him was the only thing stopping him from rushing in to fight these fuckers in hopes of stopping them from reaching Fenris, and probably dying as a result. Without them, he had to think, to follow, and take it slow.

He likely knew these streets better than they did, so he could try to get ahead using shortcuts and warn Fenris. But the slavers were moving fast and Theo doubted, with his shaky-post-coital legs, that he'd be able to beat them to the mansion even with shortcuts. He cursed his stupid sexual frustration for slowing him down; then again, he wouldn't have been _in_ Hightown at all if he hadn't visited The Rose.

Theo watched from the shadows as the slavers began splitting up. He'd seen them do this before, that three-pronged attack they seemed fond of. When he'd met Fenris, there had been the ambush lying in wait in the Alienage, then there'd been more slavers on the main road leading to Hightown, and finally the mansion itself which had been booby-trapped. It looked like these slavers were going to attempt something similar.

If Theo couldn't get ahead of them, the least he could do was take out one of the groups. Fenris was a light sleeper and a good fighter. It was very possible he'd get past the first two groups of slavers and, if Theo had dealt with the third…then he'd be able to run safely back to Lowtown, assuming there weren't more slavers lying in wait in the rest of the city. Theo sighed. He had no way of knowing if there were or not. That wasn't going to stop him from killing as many of them as he could, however.

A few of the slavers climbed up onto the roofs around the courtyard, spreading out across them. With a deep breath, Theo clambered up a trellis, then stalked silently toward one of the archers now waiting in position on the roof. In one quick motion, he snapped their neck and gently lowered them to the roof. Nobody else had seen and he quickly searched the slaver's body, finding only a bow on the man.

He tensed a bit as he picked up the bow, running his fingers over it, and like always, that tremble returned to his hands and he could feel his chest tighten with panic. _Fenris needs me_ , he whispered to himself, _get your shit together._ But his fingers continued to shake and he sighed as he put the bow back down on the ground. With a few deep breaths, he managed to get his panic under control and decided he would just have to try the next archer, see if they had any other weapons on them.

It didn't take him long to reach the next archer and he stabbed their throat with an arrow he'd picked up from the first archer. And, this time when he searched the body, he found a knife, one which he immediately picked up and tested out in his hands.

He then snuck across the next set of roofs, watching helplessly as the slavers below knocked out a lone guard on patrol and stuffed him in an alleyway. Theo growled under his breath but carried on his near-silent hunt for the last archer. When he found her, he dragged her head back by her helm and brought his knife across her neck before she could cry out. Blood spilled onto the tiles and Theo shoved her body hard off the roof, wanting to create a distraction.

Shouts in Tevene echoed out around the courtyard below and Theo could see the slavers splitting up in search of their fellow's killer, just as Theo had hoped they would. He grabbed the helmet from the second slaver he had killed and kept running, watching one of the rogues below closely. He hopped down into the alleyway where the unconscious guard was slumped against the wall, not far from the rogue he'd had his eyes on and deliberately let out a loud cry. Sure enough, the slaver rogue came rushing into the alley only to be greeted by a helmet straight to his face and then a knife to his throat.

Theo quickly grabbed the rogue's daggers and the few smoke bombs he had on him, then charged out of the alleyway just as a warrior came around the corner. Theo tackled the bulky human, burying his daggers in the man's chest with his entire weight behind it. They collapsed to the ground with a thud and Theo twisted the daggers as he yanked them back out.

He glanced up, finding slavers charging him from all sides and leapt into action.

He threw his stolen knife at one, watching as it disappeared into their eye. He didn't bother waiting for the body to slump to the ground before he was moving and throwing down a smoke bomb in order to trip up a slaver running at him from his left. Theo tripped them up in the blackness of the smoke and succeeded in getting one of his daggers in the asshole's side as they fell. He wasn't able to pull it free though before another slaver was on him, sword swinging wildly and barely missing Theo's head as he ducked away.

The smoke started to clear and Theo found himself dodging between three slavers, two of which were warriors. He could feel the panic sinking in again, of not knowing exactly how to take them down when they were aware of him. That panic had been with him ever since his father's death—it had been Theo being too slow, trying to fight warriors with daggers he had no idea how to use, that had made him too late to save his father. He swallowed thickly. He wouldn't fail again; he couldn't.

He chucked another smoke bomb, this time right in a warrior's face. It exploded against her helm and she immediately started coughing, giving Theo the chance to slip his dagger right into her eye-slit, before he pulled it free as she flopped to the ground, dead. _Two left_ , Theo told himself as he danced between the slavers. _Then fuck knows how many more in the next courtyard_. He grit his teeth, he couldn't think about that yet.

The warrior lunged at him with his sword and Theo side-stepped it at the last possible second. And, as luck would have it, the other slaver was right behind him and ended up taking the blade straight through his thigh. Theo grinned as the two slavers struggled, one screaming loudly, weapons dropped as he clutched at his leg and the other trying desperately to get his sword back. Before the man could pull his sword out of his colleague's leg, Theo buried his dagger in the warrior's ear right to the hilt. As they fell to the ground, Theo grabbed the hilt of the sword and dragged it out of the slaver's thigh, smiling as the man screamed, and then slashed his throat wide open, watching in grim satisfaction as the man choked and bled to death.

He grabbed his borrowed daggers again and charged ahead to the next courtyard where he could already hear screams and shouts. _Fenris_ , he thought with a panicked breath.

* * *

 

Fenris had woken to the sound of screaming. If it hadn't been for Varric's hastily added traps, he doubted he would have made it out quite as quickly as he had, sword strapped to his back. He had practiced this escape time and time again. Out the window. Up the wall. Onto the roof. He'd known this day would come but he still felt unprepared given how long it had been since he had been on the run properly. He'd spent too much time pretending to be free, following Hawke around, drinking, _baking_. He should have been better prepared than this. Not that he had any intention of fleeing entirely. The group sounded large, but Fenris was fast, and he had friends he could rely upon now. The only problem was that he was injured still; even now as he rushed along the moon-lit rooftop, his stitches were ripping and it was slowing him down.

He could hear them all below, following him, no doubt able to see him quiet clearly given the bright, cloudless night. He tried to keep to the shadows, ducking behind a chimney and narrowly missing an arrow that whizzed past his ear in the process. He searched for the archer, finding him just ahead, still firing in his direction and decided not to waste any more time hiding. He charged through the shadows, surprising the slaver with his speed, and tackled him, slamming him down into the tiled roof. His fist lit up and he buried it in the man's chest, watching their eyes widen as they always did before he crushed their heart.

He spotted a second archer not far away, and leapt into action, rushing her silently before she noticed him. He could feel blood seeping into his leathers from his wound but he ignored it. He would not let a _cut_ be the cause of his capture. The archer spotted him and started firing. Fenris dodged the first arrow, but a second got him in the shoulder, making him grunt. But then he was on the archer and snapping her neck with ease.

He ducked behind another chimney, yanking the arrow out of his shoulder as he did so, then he carefully watched the shadows moving across the nearby rooftops. He was surrounded, he realised. He had not been fast enough in his escape.

He blinked a few times as his vision began to swim and he suddenly realised with a hissed breath that the arrow had been poisoned.

_Venhedis_ , he snarled.

More were on the ground, shouting orders to one another. It was only a matter of time until the poison knocked him out and then he would be easy prey, theirs to take back to Danarius. His lip curled at the thought. He would cut his way through them, he decided, or die trying.

With a roar, he slid down the tiles and came crashing down onto a hunter below. He snapped their neck and then rose to his feet, drawing his greatsword slowly as he eyed the men closing in on him. Even now, he knew there were too many for him to take on alone, injured and poisoned, but that didn't stop him from charging forward, markings flaring.

The first fell easily, as did the second, third and fourth. Then he was into a dance of parrying and dodging as he tried to keep his sword up despite his trembling arms. The poison was in full effect now, making him sluggish. He stood a chance of winning only if he could make it to the Guard Keep, where Hawke's guard friend was. But that was too far, he knew. He was alone. As he had always been, always _would_ be.

His vision blurred, making him see double of everything. He spun his sword viciously around him, like a wild dog acting out only in desperation, instinctually trying to survive. Everything was spinning around him and he fell to his knees, too weak to stand, and sword clattering out of his trembling hands.

The hunters closed in.

And the darkness took him.

* * *

 

Theo screamed at seeing Fenris fall to the ground. The elf was surrounded by slaver corpses but there were still so many of the bastards alive. Theo charged them in a furious frenzy. He knew it was reckless to just rush in like this, that's how he'd ended up with two daggers in his back in the fight against Hayder after all. But he didn't care, he just needed them dead, needed Fen safe.

He lost count of how many he cut down, how many more he exchanged parries with. He was only dodging their attacks thanks to the surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins, but he knew even that wouldn't be enough for him to kill all of these men. Especially not when even more slavers turned up.

It was as he was slashing a throat open that he was hit in the temple by the butt of a sword. He fell forward, crying out as his vision flickered. He could see feet moving toward him. Could see the slaver's grabbing Fenris and dragging him. Could hear the slaver's say they'd take him too. Could feel hands on him.

And then everything went black.

* * *

 

"Nah, I'm telling yah, she wanted me," Callum boasted as he walked up the steps to Hightown with his colleague. He hated this damned walk, despite having to do it so often – maybe _that_ was why he hated it so much, tedious never-ending steps that they were.

"You're seeing things, mate," Nigel retorted with a shake of his head.

"Did you not see the way that dark-skinned beauty bent over, those tits of hers nearly popping out of her tunic? She wanted some of this," Callum said as he grabbed his crotch and rocked his hips forward.

"Maker's breath! Our shift might be over but you're still wearing the uniform!" Nigel hissed at him.

"Ain't nobody around," Callum replied dismissively. "You ought to loosen up, mate. When was the last time you went to a tavern, eh?"

"Half an hour ago, to stop that bar fight," Nigel deadpanned.

"Peh! I meant _properly_. When was the last time you got sloshed, Nige?"

"You know the wife doesn't like it," Nigel sighed.

"I still don't get why you're with her, not after she-"

Nigel stopped walking, brow furrowed. "You know I'd never leave her with the kids."

"You could take them yourself and-"

"I'm a _guard_ , Cal. You know it's not a safe life. I take them now, it'll only be harder on them later if— _when_ —they have to go back to her."

"Don't talk shit like that," Callum growled. "Just angers me is all, you're too good for her. You know that, right?"

Nigel smiled slightly, his frosty gaze thawing slightly. "You're my partner, you're obliged to say that."

"Ignoring that, as your best friend-"

"Second best friend," Nigel corrected.

Callum clenched his jaw. "As your _best_ friend," he maintained, "I'm telling you, we need a night out soon. Just you and me."

"We're doing nights all this week, and then we'll be on the morning patrols the week after. I just don't see it happening any time soon, bud."

Callum snorted, shaking his head. "Bloody excuses that is. When did you become such a bloody pansy, Guardsman Nigel?"

"When I married the missus and had two kids, Guardsman Callum."

"Well then," Callum said as he started walking again. "I'm glad I ain't tied down like that."

"You'll want to settle down one day," Nigel teased, also walking again.

"Will not. I can't bloody stand the thought of only fucking one broad for the rest of my life. That would just be so-" He spotted something up ahead and his breath left him in a rush. "Shit! Look at that!" he said as he started to break into a jog.

The pale moonlight glinted off of the dried blood and armour of the group of dead men lying in the middle of the Hightown courtyard. He was used to seeing stuff like this in Lowtown, but not up here in Hightown—this was supposed to be the quiet, _safe_ place in Kirkwall. "What the shitting hell happened here?" he asked Nigel who was staring on just as surprised as he was. He crouched down and searched one of the bodies while Nigel kept watch for more trouble. "Mate, look at this," he said as he showed Nigel the insignia on their armour.

"Tevinters?" Nigel queried.

"Bloody slavers, that's what," Callum replied, fist clenching. He hated those fucks. Good that someone had manged to kill at least some of them, probably before they got dragged away. Poor sod.

"What would slavers be doing up here in Hightown?" Nigel asked, scowling.

"I dunno," he sighed, standing again. "Hey, can you remember who was on this route tonight?"

"Barnaby, maybe?" Nigel said as he scanned the courtyard.

"Yeah, that rings a bell," Callum said as he stared down at the bodies. "Well, he ain't one of the dead here. Guess we ought to look the stupid git. See if he's alive."

Nigel nodded. "It's not like slavers to kill guards, might be they just knocked him out and shoved him somewhere out of the way?"

"Aye. Alleys it is then. You take left, I'll take right."

It didn't take them long to find Lieutenant Barnaby Watson. As expected, he had been knocked out and tossed in an alley. The pompous twat was covered in dirt and leaves, quite a sight really.

"I'd wake him with a piss on the face if I didn't think Avers would have my head for it," Callum chuckled.

Nigel rolled his eyes. "Don't let her hear you call her that. She'll be Captain proper soon."

"Nothing wrong with a nicky, Niggles."

Nigel groaned in exasperation. "How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?"

"I'll stop when you stop living up to the name."

Nigel levelled a glare at him then glanced back at their fellow guard. "Look. He's waking up, no piss necessary."

"Damn."

Barnaby opened his eyes, squinting as he looked up at them both.

Callum stared down at him with a shit eating grin. "Look who's decided to wake up from his nap!"

"Wha-what happened?" Barnaby asked, wincing slightly as he lifted a hand to touch the back of his head.

"Slavers nipped you on the head by the look of it," Nigel explained. "You're lucky it was slavers and not thugs – they'd have just killed you for getting in their way."

Barnaby blinked at them, clearly confused. "Slavers? In Hightown? That's absurd, man."

"If you have a better explanation for all the dead 'Vints in the courtyard, then do let us hear it, mate," Callum retorted.

"Come on. We should get back to the barracks, reports this, and get you to a healer," Nigel said as he offered Barnaby his hand.

"I'll head back to all the corpses, lock down the area a bit then," Callum said. "See if I can't start figuring out what happened." He had a feeling this was going to be a long night. He hated long nights, unless they were spent with a pretty woman.

* * *

 

"Shit, bloody nug humping bollocks," Varric muttered as he hopped on one foot, trying to get his other foot in his boot in a hurry. He paid people to keep an eye out for slavers, didn't he? Good fucking coin wasted, it seemed. "How long ago did this happen?" he asked.

The guardsman gave him a sympathetic sort of look as he shifted slightly. "By our calculations, a couple of hours. Barnaby was out for an hour or so, we think, when Callum and Nigel found him. It took us a while after that to figure things out. The Captain went straight to the abandoned mansion when she heard about slavers. The front door was smashed in. Looks like some traps caught a few slavers off guard though. Might have bought your friend some time…"

"Nug-shit," Varric mumbled. "We need to tell Hawke. Now. He's gonna be so pissed…" Varric groaned as he headed to the door.

"We'll find these bastards," the guard said. "We've got the whole guard out checking the city's exits, asking people if they saw anything. Those slavers can't have gotten far."

"I hope you're right," Varric sighed.

He spotted Rivaini at the bar and whistled her down. "Slavers," he said. "Get Blondie and meet us at the East Gate." He didn't wait for her to reply before shoving The Hanged Man's door open.

He ran as fast as his legs would carry him to Hawke's place, muttering and cursing the whole way. He'd seen how Hawke got when his family was in danger, and he was pretty sure the rogue considered Fenris family now, so… shit.

He slammed his fist against the Hawke home door. "Hawke! Open up, it's Varric!" he bellowed through the wood.

The door opened a moment later to a wide-eyed Bethany, her nightgown wrapped tightly around her. "Varric, what's-"

"Hawke here? They've got Fenris."

Her eyes widened further. "He hasn't come home yet… _Who_ has Fenris?"

"Slavers," he hissed out, running a hand through his hair. "Where did Hawke go?"

"We don't know," Carver said as he strolled out of the bedroom, fully armoured. "Uncle saw him at The Rose a few hours back, but that's all we know."

"We don't have time to hunt for him, too," Varric said. "Come on. We need to find the elf."

Bethany slipped on her robes and grabbed her staff, and then they were all heading out the door together. They met back up with the guard, Marshall, who had told Varric all of this in the first place, and then headed through Lowtown together.

"I hope Fenris is okay," Bethany said in a breathy worried rush.

"Me too, Sunshine, me too."

Guardsman Brennan was at the East Gate, finishing up talking with some local street rats. She turned as they approached and her face lit up upon seeing her colleague. "Marshall, they went this way! Already sent word to the others."

"How many?" Marshall asked her.

"At least thirty, they say."

"Well, at least they won't be hard to track," Marshall mused darkly. "I'm heading out there now. Want to get an idea of how well armed they are." He glanced down at Varric. "I could use a second pair of eyes, if you're up for that?"

Varric nodded. "Let's go."

It didn't take them long to find the tracks in the sand from the slavers' heavy armour. Marshall's eyes were scanning the entire path, alert and keen.

"Seventeen in heavy army. Three mages. At least ten rogues," Marshall whispered, surprising Varric.

"Huh. You're a tracker, then?"

"Do you often state the obvious?"

Varric let out a quiet chuckle. "Not always. I talk when I'm nervous though. It's what I'm good at. And, shit, I need something to keep me distracted right now otherwise I'll picture all the different ways Hawke will kill me."

Marshall chuckled. "Distracted is the last thing you want to be when tracking a group this big," he retorted. "But to answer your question: I used to be a hunter, back in the day. Sold pelts in my local village."

"What made you decide to be a guard?" Varric asked.

The guard sighed. "Was out on one of my longer routes, came back to my village only to find it burned to the ground. Everyone was strung up, hanging from the trees, their corpses all mangled. They'd been beaten, tortured, or worse before being hanged. Nobody cared about some tiny village though. Only me." Varric sighed heavily, head shaking. That seemed to be the case for a lot of shit around here. "I tracked the fuckers that did it," Marshall continued. "Killed them all. Was gonna turn myself in for murdering them all, but the old Guard Captain, he said I'd be better off as a guard. Recruited me on the spot." Marshall shrugged. "I had nothing better to do what with my village gone. Wish I could do more for other communities out in the sticks though. Maybe with Aveline in charge we'll do better. We'll see."

"I still dunno why anyone would wanna live out in the countryside at all."

"It's peaceful, usually," Marshall said, with a slightly sour smile. "There," he whispered suddenly. He crouched down low. "You see the moonlight glinting off of their armour?"

Varric followed his gaze and nodded. "That didn't take long."

"We're lucky they haven't taken ship yet. They must be waiting until dawn. Maybe while they deal with the injured your friend harmed." He scanned the area. "The moon's bright tonight. Means it'll be hard to sneak up on them, also means we can see them pretty clearly though. And there will be scouts that we'll need to take out as well."

"You've got a bow, I've got Bianca, what are we waiting for?" Varric asked, his fingers twitching.

"Varric, we can't rush in and take on thirty men on our own. For now, they aren't going anywhere. We should head back and tell the others everything we know."

"And if you're wrong and they leave while we waste time trudging back through the sand?"

"We would die and your friend would still be taken. I'm sorry, but we need back up."

Varric nodded, sighing heavily. "Hold on elf," he whispered as he glanced over his shoulders at the flickering fires in the distance.

* * *

 

Theo woke up lying on his side, half his face pressed against the sand. His head throbbed painfully from the hit he'd taken and he could hear men all around him, sharpening weapons, talking quietly. And as he blinked his eyes open, he found Fenris lying just a few inches in front of him, tied up and gagged, just as Theo was. Moonlight glinted off of the blood on Fenris' face and Theo couldn't help but curl his lips around the gag at the sight of his friend like that.

Fenris' eyes fluttered open a moment later, huge green eyes wild and frenzied before they locked with Theo's and widened in surprise. The elf's brow furrowed, obviously confused as to why Theo had also been captured. A thousand different scenarios must have been running through his head right now. He could feel Fenris' panted breath against his skin but Theo could do nothing, gagged as he was, to put the elf at ease. Even if he wasn't gagged, what reassurances could he give? Nobody knew they were out here. Nobody was coming to save them. They'd have to get out of this on their own.

Fenris struggled against his restraints, trying to free himself, with a hiss of muffled pain leaving his gagged mouth. It drew the attention of some of the slavers and Theo could hear them moving closer to the both of them.

"Well looky here, boys," one leered. "The elf's awake, at last."

"Just in time for a bit of fun!" another cheered.

The first slaver laughed. "I can't wait to bury myself in that tight arse of his," he growled, making Theo's heart stop in his chest and his eyes widen in panic.

"Danarius said not to damage his goods," another pointed out.

"Ah, but this one ain't Danarius'," the first slaver said as he kicked Theo's boot, making Theo still, breath held in dread.

Fenris' eyes widened as he watched the scene unfolding before him, as he listened to these _men_ talk about Hawke as if he was a piece of meat. He did not understand how Hawke had come to be captured by the hunters too, and he could see nobody else nearby. It was possible the rogue had tried a one-man rescue attempt. It was also possible he hadn't and the others were dead. His gut tightened at the thought of others dying in an attempt to save him. He should never have lingered here, endangering others. It had been selfish.

Hawke had tensed up with fear as he held himself perfectly still, his eyes wide, and Fenris' lip curled around the gag in disgust as he once more tried to free himself from his restraints. He would not let them harm Hawke. He would not.

One of the men grabbed Hawke, and that broke the state of shock he had fallen into. The rogue started thrashing wildly, trying to kick the slavers off of him.

"Oh, I am gonna have fun breaking this one in," the slaver said. He was a big man with flinty brown eyes and a twisted smile. He pinned Hawke onto his stomach with a knee on the rogue's back, even as Hawke kicked up sand with his thrashing, his eyes wild and fearful. Fenris tried to get his markings to flare, but the poison still in his system seemed to be blocking it. He growled, he _needed_ to save Hawke from what was about to happen.

"That's a nice scarf you got there, _slave_. Think I might take it," the slaver said. He reached for the scarf, touching it with the tips of his fingers, and Hawke threw his head back with a feral sounding growl. His head slammed into the slaver's nose and the man cried out as he fell backwards off of Hawke. The rogue then kicked the man in the stomach, seeing the slaver fall the rest of the way back into the sand, before more slavers pinned him down again.

"You'll pay for that, you little bitch," the slaver said as he wiped his bloody nose. He shoved a couple of men out of his way and then yanked down Hawke's trousers and positioned himself behind Hawke's bared ass. Hawke struggled, his breaths coming out in choked desperate pants.

"I'm gonna fuck you bloody," the slaver muttered venomously as he started undoing his own breeches.

Fenris watched helplessly, snarling and thrashing himself in an attempt to get free or distract them from hurting Hawke. Watched as a single tear rolled down Hawke's cheek, before the rogue squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the worst. Fenris' chest clenched almost painfully. This was his fault. Hawke was about to be violated and abused because of _him_. He turned his eyes away out of shame, not wishing to watch.

There was suddenly a loud shout from somewhere behind Fenris, accompanied by the familiar ache in his markings. _Magic_ , he realised, eyes flying open again, just in time to see an almost blindingly bright bolt of yellow lightning slam into the slaver's face. The would-be-rapist went flying back into the sand, screaming in agony, clutching at his burned face as his body convulsed in agony.

Then chaos erupted around them as the slavers all rushed forward to engage with whoever was attacking them. Fenris tried to get a good look and thought he could see several wearing the Kirkwall Guard armour; if his elven hearing wasn't mistaken, he could hear Bianca firing bolts, too. Relief flooded through him, and he focused his attention back on Hawke who was trembling and panting hard still. Isabela suddenly appeared at Hawke's side. She yanked up his trousers and then cut his hands and feet free. She gave him that small knife, nodded, then disappeared again.

Hawke rolled onto his back, and lifting his hands to his face, he pulled the gag out of his mouth and took a few slow breaths, trying to calm himself down. Fenris shuffled closer to him, wanting to be rid of his own bindings, and feeling the need to comfort Hawke any way he could. The rogue pulled his hands away from his face, those fiery amber eyes of his locked with Fenris', then Hawke sat up slowly and cut Fenris' bindings.

"Are you alright?" Hawke asked as Fenris removed the gag from his mouth.

Fenris gave the rogue a bitter smile and a nod. "Are you?" Hawke's cold stare sent a shiver down his spine, and he watched the rogue's jaw twitch as he clenched it.

The slaver that had nearly raped Hawke groaned from Hawke's other side as he tried to crawl away. They both watched him with a sneer, but it was Hawke who got to his feet first. Perfectly calmly, the blade in his hand glinting in the moonlight as he followed the crawling slaver, Hawke circled the man, tossing the blade casually between his hands. The hunter stopped his pathetic crawl when Hawke moved in front of him and the slaver looked up at him, head shaking.

"P-please," the man begged.

Fenris sat up, watching with disgust as the man continued to grovel at Hawke's feet. The rogue tilted his head, his eyes black and unforgiving. Fenris had never seen Hawke look so deadly. The rogue moved in a blink of an eye until he was crouched over the injured slaver, his knee on the man's back, pinning the slaver to the ground, just as he had done to Hawke moments before.

"I'm gonna fuck you bloody," Hawke snarled as he held the knife over the man's backside. He shoved the man's breeches down, even as the slaver started to thrash and beg and scream for help. Hawke just held him down, watching him emotionlessly as he dragged the knife along the man's flabby arse cheek. Blood trickled from the long cut and the slaver started to weep.

"Hawke!" Aveline's authoritative voice boomed. She put her shield and sword away as she walked slowly toward Hawke and the slaver, her hand outstretched as she shook her head in warning.

"Keep out of this," Hawke snapped at her.

"I can't let you do this. Not even to a slaver," she said, her voice calm, eyes hard.

"It'll be like everything else you let us get away with. Just close your eyes, Aveline," Hawke bit out.

Her emerald eyes narrowed as she crouched down in front of Hawke. "This is not you," she said firmly. "Don't do this," she urged.

"Are you sure about that?" he whispered in question, a strange edge to his voice that made Fenris' chest tighten.

Aveline put her hand on Hawke's shoulder, nodding. "Yes. You're a good man, Theo. Better than the likes of them."

Hawke's gaze flickered across Aveline's face, still dark, cold and feral, but there was a glimmer of uncertainty there and the Guard Captain seemed to anchor herself to it as she squeezed Hawke's shoulder.

Hawke let out a small sharp exhale then, quicker than Aveline could react to, he buried the knife to the hilt in the base of the slaver's skull. Aveline let out the breath she'd been holding in a relieved rush before she nodded at Hawke, patted him on the back then got up to go check on her men.

"Brother," Bethany said, voice breaking as she wrapped her arms around Hawke from behind.

Hawke turned in her hold and buried his face in the crook of her neck, body trembling. Fenris could hear the sobs, could see them wracking through Hawke's body and he looked away out of respect, his gut twisting. Carver stood over them both, his jaw clenched firmly and tears in his eyes. Fenris couldn't watch. The slavers had been here for _him_ , if they had actually… to _Hawke.._. Fenris clenched his hands. He would never be able to forgive himself for such a thing. He realised then that he could not stay, could not endanger them all further.

Anders came into his field of vision; the mage looked at him, frowning, then glanced at Bethany. Realising she was too busy to help Fenris, the mage sighed and headed toward him, hands out. Fenris still tensed.

"Head injury and an… arrow to your shoulder? Am I wrong?" the mage asked as he crouched down in front of Fenris.

Fenris shook his head. "It was poisoned too."

Anders sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Alright. I can give you an elixir that should help to clear the remaining toxins from your system. The other wounds are going to need cleaning and then stitching. I'll see if one of Aveline's guards can-"

"No. Just… heal it," Fenris reluctantly said.

"Excuse me?" Anders asked, blinking.

Fenris glared at him. "You heard me, mage."

Anders frowned. "Why? You were bleeding out before but wouldn't let me touch you, now you'll let me _heal_ you, with actual magic?"

"The wound on my hip, it slowed me, my escape. It endangered more than just myself," he said with a glance at Hawke.

Anders' face softened as he followed Fenris' gaze, when he looked back, he nodded. "Alright." He shuffled closer. "I'll make it quick." Fenris nodded and braced himself for the pain. The mage's magic flared, but where healing would usually be painful to the point of screaming for him, this only made him hiss a little through the discomfort. He didn't understand why that would be, but he had to admit, he was relieved.

"Done." Fenris glanced down at the wound in his shoulder and blinked in surprise. Anders smirked at him. "What? I'm good with my hands," he shrugged. He healed Fenris' hip next, with little pain, yet again, before he focused on Fenris' head.

"That was your bolt of electricity, was it not?" Fenris asked through his teeth.

Anders nodded as he focused on healing Fenris' head. "Aveline had this entire plan of attack organised. Everyone was getting into formation, ready to flank and all of that. But then I saw what they were about to do to Hawke and I just… reacted." The mage's eyes had hardened, his nose crinkled in disgust. "They deserved much worse than the clean deaths we gave them," he whispered harshly.

Fenris nodded. "They did." His jaw clenched and he took a calming breath through his nose. "It was most fortunate timing, you all arriving when you did."

"That almost sounded like a thank you to me," Anders said with a soft smile at his lips.

Fenris glared at him. "I was merely stating a simple truth."

Anders hummed. "Right. All done. You'll ache for a few days and your shoulder will have some weakness, so I advise rest and strength exercises for it. I'll also grab you that elixir, too," he said as he started rummaging through his pack. "Ah, here it is." He pulled out a bright green flask. "Not the nicest tasting stuff, but I suppose you're used to worse now what with Bethany giving you that elfroot medicine of hers. Just down the whole thing, and try to _keep_ it down," he said as he handed Fenris the bottle. The mage hopped back to his feet and Fenris looked up at him, his mouth slightly dry.

"Thank you," he said quietly. Anders stared at him, surprised, then a smile spread across his lips and he nodded before darting off to help others and Fenris downed the elixir with a twist of his lips.

Theo lifted his head from Bethany's shoulder and wiped his face clean, surprised to see Anders leaving Fenris' side, with Fenris fully healed. He glanced around at the rest of the ruined slaver camp, noting all of the bodies and blood coated sand. But, as far as he could tell, nobody on their side had been seriously injured or killed.

_Good_.

He looked at his sister, his eyes meeting her sad and worried gaze. "How did you end up out here?" she asked, her voice raw from crying too.

"I was at The Rose…saw the slavers walking through Hightown. I tried…but there were too many," he said plainly, guilt twisting his features slightly. He didn't feel like explaining any more than that. He just wanted to go home and forget about this horrible night. He got to his feet with a little help from her, gave his brother a nod, and then headed over to Fenris. The elf still looked a little weak and, until they knew if there were more slavers in the area or not, Theo wasn't going to let the elf out of his sight.

"You're staying with us tonight. Don't argue," Theo said, offering Fenris his hand. The elf nodded and took it and Theo dragged him to his feet. They leaned heavily against one another, both of them exhausted, and not caring that they had their arms around each other as they headed out of the ruined slaver camp.

* * *

 

"You're back!" Gamlen said, eyebrows arched in surprise as Theo and Fenris walked in through the front door together.

"Your observation skills remain excellent, Uncle," Theo drawled as he closed the door behind them.

Gamlen folded his arms across his chest, watching them with an emotion Theo rarely saw in the older man's eyes: worry. "Well, are you both alright?"

"Fine, Uncle. Mother?"

"I told her to get some rest—she's been asleep a couple of hours now."

"Good. Fenris is staying here tonight because we still don't know if there are more slavers out there." Gamlen merely nodded and stepped out of their way as Theo led them to the bedroom.

Fenris looked around the small space and frowned. "Hawke, are you sure-"

"Don't fucking argue with me, Fenris," Theo muttered as he started rummaging through his drawer. "Here," he said tossing the elf a pair of black loose breeches and a navy shirt. "It'll be a bit big on you but it's better than sleeping in armour when you're aching." He grabbed some clothes for himself and then headed for the door. "I'll let you get changed in peace."

"Thank you," Fenris said quietly.

Fenris watched Hawke nod and then leave the room. He began pulling off his armour and placing it neatly on the ground, then slipped into Hawke's clothes. They smelled like he did, he realised. Almonds and honey. It made him smile.

Hawke returned a little while later, guzzling down a bottle of brown liquid. He stopped long enough to hand it to Fenris before he sat down on the mattress, offering Fenris a seat next to him.

"Sorry it's not a fancy queen sized bed, or whatever," Hawke said with a wry smile that warmed Fenris' chest to see.

"I have slept in far worse conditions, Hawke." He took a long pull from the bottle then handed it back to the rogue.

Hawke nodded, sighing as he cupped the bottle between his hands. "I bet it was a surprise to see me tied up next to you out there," he murmured ruefully.

Fenris gazed upon Hawke's profile; the rogue had shoved much of his messy dark hair back, away from his face so Fenris could see those amber red eyes of his staring off into the middle distance. Could see the worry lines that still hadn't evened out across his forehead. Could see the way he chewed on his lip while he waited for Fenris to answer. Fenris had done that to him. Had made him fear and worry and hate, and his gut twisted once again.

"It was," he admitted as he rested his head back against the wall at their backs. "How did they capture you?"

"I was in Hightown, at…The Rose," Hawke explained, shame colouring his cheeks. "When I left, I saw the slavers walking through the streets and knew they were heading for you. I killed a lot of them before finally getting knocked out." He sighed. "I should have done more, but seeing you pass out…I just lost it."

Fenris let that sink in for a moment. That was the second time Hawke had recklessly charged toward him when he had been in danger. He nodded. "I feared that… I thought your friends, your siblings, were dead."

Amber eyes locked with Fenris' green, flat and emotionless. "They're your friends as well. They went out there to rescue _you_ , Fen," Hawke said softly. "They had no idea I had been captured too until they got close."

Fenris stared at the ground, frowning slightly. The thought that anyone would risk their lives to save him was an odd one. But even now he could not shift the thoughts that they only went to save him because of how furious Hawke would be at everyone if he had been taken by the slavers, but that was still better than nothing, he supposed.

"I am not used to having friends," Fenris admitted. "I do not even know what one truly is."

"They have your back," Hawke said. "They're there when you need them and even when you don't think you do. And they stick around even when you're being an _asinus_." A smile twitched at Hawke's lips and Fenris returned it.

"Do they also protect you?"

"Of course."

Fenris swallowed thickly, nodding. "Then, I need to leave Kirkwall."

Hawke sat up and faced him, scowling. "Is that… what you want?"

Fenris sighed a little. It wasn't. He liked it here, more than he was willing to admit. "Those slavers were here for me and they will not cease until they succeed in getting me."

"Fenris…"

"None of you will be safe in the meantime, Hawke," he said, looking the rogue in the eye. "You said friends protect one another? Then I need to do this, for you."

He watched Hawke swallow, watched the tears forming in his eyes, then he watched Hawke's face harden. "I appreciate that. But Fenris, we all knew the risks. How many times have I told you I will fight slavers with you, _for_ you?" His eyes flicked across Fenris' face. "Don't leave. Don't run again. You stand a better chance of staying free, of defeating those bastards, with your friends helping you."

"How, after tonight, are you still willing to risk-"

"After tonight," Hawke growled, "I want to go to Tevinter and hunt down every last slaver in existence. I'm only restraining myself because of my family."

Fenris let out a small chuckle. "I would not advise doing that."

Hawke shrugged. "If that was the only way to keep you safe, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Fenris' breath hitched in his throat at the seriousness in which Hawke had spoken such words. "I do not know what to say to that."

Hawke smiled softly, eyes still a little damp. "Say you'll stay."

Fenris sighed, shoulders slumping as his resolve melted away. "You are a stubborn fool, Hawke."

"You've known that since day one, Fenris," the rogue said, a smirk curling his lips.

Fenris let out a chuff of laughter. "Very well. I will remain."

"Good." Hawke took another long pull from the bottle before passing it over to Fenris. "Those slavers… what they were going to do to me. Did they ever… with you?" he asked quietly, almost fearfully.

Fenris shook his head. "Not in the years I was Danarius' body guard. Before that? Who knows?" Hawke nodded solemnly. "It was not uncommon though. Some slaves were for nothing but that."

"Bastards." Hawke was quiet a moment, with only the sounds of the drink in the bottle making any noise. "I really did think that was it, you know. For both of us."

"As did I."

Hawke smiled at him and squeezed his knee, his hand almost scorching against Fenris' leg. "Never again. We'll be better prepared next time. I'm going to teach you the sewer routes in Hightown and we can better map out those rooftops, too. And I'll find out why Varric's men were sitting on their hands when slavers arrived by ship in the middle of the night." Hawke tilted his head to look Fenris right in the eye, expression taking on a determined edge. "I won't let them take you, Fenris. I'll die first."

"I believe you." _It's also why I'm so worried_ , he added silently in his head.

Hawke smiled then finished off the rest of the bottle. He set it down and then sighed. "I think I'm gonna pass out now, Fen. G'night."

Sure enough, the rogue flopped down onto the mattress and began to snore. Fenris snorted and shuffled into place behind the human. It was strange to be sleeping so close to another person, to Hawke, but it was oddly calming listening to him breathe, feeling the heat radiating off of him, and soon Fenris was drifting off to sleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late. Hope the hefty word count and action-y chapter makes up for that fact! As always, thank you so much for the reviews. And please keep the support coming! I'm curious to hear what you all thought of Theo's stealth fighting and the 'quest' in general. And a super big thanks to Lys for the beta--any mistakes left are my own because I can never _not_ tweak it even after she's thrown it back at me XD. 
> 
> And, in other news, Neri's arriving in the chapter after the next one, I believe! I know a lot of you have been waiting for her arrival/return.
> 
> Until next time, my lovelies!


	23. Chicken

 

"That is just adorable," Bethany whispered, with a huge grin stretching across her face as she watched the sleeping forms of Theo and Fenris all curled up together. Fenris even had an arm draped over Theo's side as he spooned her brother's back. "I feel bad for having to wake them up, but it's getting late and they should probably eat something after everything they went through last night."

"We _could_ wake them the usual way when someone lies in," Carver pointed out with a wicked glint in his blue eyes.

"Carver!" she hissed quietly. "After everything they went through last night, that is the last thing I'm going to do."

"You really think Theo will want us treating him differently because of what _nearly_ happened? He'd kick our arses."

"True. But there's no way to tell what kind of mood he's in."

"I can't imagine he'd be in a bad mood with Fenris curled up next to him like that," Carver said, smirking.

Bethany covered her snicker with her hand. "We're waking them softly. I don't want to startle Fenris."

"Ah. Good point."

"Fenris, Theo," she said softly but fairly loudly. "Wake up."

Fenris stirred, body stretching much like a cat might. She noticed his hand curl into Theo's shirt and then his green eyes snapped open. The elf blushed brightly upon realising just where and how he was sleeping, and he quickly shifted back, breaking all contact with her brother.

"How do you feel?" she asked quietly.

"Better," he replied a little hoarsely.

Fenris cleared his throat and got to his feet quickly. Remarkably, her brother stayed asleep and she couldn't help but cast a worried gaze his way. Last night had been horrible. She'd not seen him like that, ever. That feral looking. The fury had been wild in his eyes, blazing like an out of control fire. Worse, she had _wanted_ him to hurt that slaver in the same way he had nearly hurt Theo. Those men were sick and twisted. They would have deserved it. But those were dark thoughts indeed, and they scared her. Just as it had scared her to see her brother so close to actually doing it.

"Would you like something to eat?" she asked Fenris who was now standing awkwardly against the wall.

The elf shook his head. "I shall wait for Hawke to wake for that. A cup of tea would be welcome though."

"Of course," Bethany said, smiling. She glanced down at her brother again, a slightly wicked smirk twitching the corner of her mouth up at one side. "Oh Fenris, could you put a blanket over him? He'll be cold without you at his back now."

Fenris glared at her, forcing her to leave the room for fear of waking her brother with her laughter. She heard the elf say "Not a word," to Carver and that made her laugh harder as she headed over to the kettle.

* * *

 

Nigel walked into the Keep's infirmary. It was late morning and he was fully expecting even his lazy-as-fuck partner to be awake from his beauty sleep by now. Callum had managed to be the _only_ guard injured fighting the slavers the night before, blithering idiot that he was. He'd gone and gotten whacked upside the head. The fool looked like a right tit with thick white bandages wrapped all around his noggin, not that he seemed to care. He was grinning as Nigel walked in.

"How are you feeling, Cal?" Nigel asked his friend.

Callum rolled his eyes. "Mate, I'm fine. I've got the healer with the long legs looking after me, she's making me feel _much_ better," he said with a smirk.

Nigel chuckled, head shaking as he came to sit on the bed. "Even with a head injury, you still can't stop thinking about the opposite sex."

"You'd know something was wrong with me if I _wasn't_ thinking about them, Niggles."

He laughed at that. "True enough," he said as he pulled out some brownies from his bag and handed them to Cal. "Wife made them for yah."

"Ah. Not safe to eat, then," Cal teased.

Nigel snorted. "Her cooking isn't _that_ bad."

"Of all the times you've been off work, mate, how many times was it 'cause of _her_ cooking?" Nigel let out a slightly exasperated sigh and Callum grinned.

"Well, seeing as you're doing fine, I'll be off," he said, patting his friend's leg. "Some of us actually have work to do."

Cal rolled his eyes. "Don't you ever sleep, mate?"

"Think you've done enough of that for both of us." He smiled a little teasingly. "Maybe I'll send in that other healer. What was it you called him?"

Callum's face paled. "No. Anyone but Hairy Drew."

Nigel laughed as he got up from the bed. "It would serve you right for getting hurt in the first place."

"Oh shut it. I was protecting your ugly ass, wasn't I?"

" _I_ saw that warrior behind the boulder. I was trying to draw him out, but you just ran straight in and got clobbered by his shield so I was left to fight him anyway."

"No, no, no. You're definitely wrong, mate. I got between you and him. Saved you, I did. Had him nice and distracted, plus he had to walk around my unconscious body. Definitely did you a solid."

Nigel smiled wryly. "That head injury must be worse than we all thought. We definitely need Hairy Drew."

"Mate! Don't be a twat!" Cal cried out.

Nigel grinned. "I'll see you later."

"Fine. I'll just be here, suffering quietly, all alone while me best mate in the whole world ditches me with Hairy Drew."

"Oh shush. You got to stay in bed all night while the rest of us scoured the coast for more slavers. You got it easy."

Cal gave him a shit eating grin. "I ought to get hurt more often then."

" _I'll_ start hurting you in a minute," he laughed. He headed out the infirmary door and back out into the barracks where Donnic greeted him with a warm smile.

"How's our patient doing?"

"Back to his usual self, unfortunately," Nigel said, smirking, and making Donnic chuckle. "Bloody fool should have been more damned careful."

"We all should have," the Captain sighed out as she rounded the corner. "None of us were expecting to see those slavers doing _that_."

"I'm glad we stopped them," Nigel said, jaw clenching just at the thought of what would have happened if they hadn't arrived when they did.

"Me too. Poor Hawke," Donnic said, brow furrowed. "Can't have been easy for the elf, either, getting captured like that, given his past." He looked up at Aveline. "Anything you need us to do, Captain?"

Aveline smiled a bit as she looked to Donnic, her eyes softening. "No, you've both done enough. Marshall should be back with the others soon. I had them check the coast again, during daylight this time. I want that slaver ship found and checked. Told them to destroy it once they did. The only other thing I need to deal with is the issue of the mansion Fenris has been squatting in… I need to file an official report about all of this, explaining why I took half my men out to the coast in the middle of the night to take down a slaver ring. If I mention the mansion, he will be evicted for certain."

"And there's nowhere else he can stay?" Donnic inquired with a tilt of his head.

"I don't know. Hawke asked me to deal with the mansion after he was back from the Deep Roads. I think he means to buy it himself, if he has to. But I won't be able to hold off that long now."

"Not if you tell the truth, no," Nigel agreed, a coy smile playing at his lips.

"Right," Donnic said, cottoning on. "Captain, what if Fenris was taking a… leisurely stroll through Hightown when he spotted slavers attacking our men?"

Aveline gave him a sceptical look.

"Exactly," Nigel said. "I'm certain Fenris saw Lieutenant Watson getting attacked and jumped in to save him, only to get captured in the process."

"It's only stretching the truth a bit, Captain, but it will keep that mansion out of your reports," Donnic said thoughtfully.

Aveline smiled and nodded her head. "Very good." She looked to Nigel. "Get to bed, Guardsman Nigel, you must be exhausted."

"I was happy to help, Captain."

"Thank you."

Nigel nodded them both goodnight and headed off toward the bunks.

She glanced at Donnic. "You should get some sleep as well, Guardsman Donnic."

"I was actually hoping I might accompany you to the Hawke residence… Only, I assume you will be heading there soon in order to get official statements."

"I am…"

"Hawke checked in on me after he saved my life. I'd like to do the same with him, if you'll permit it, Captain."

Aveline gave a slight nod. "Very well. We'll head there now."

They fell into stride together as they headed out of the Keep and down through Hightown. Aveline had to admit, she was tired. She hadn't slept at all the night before. But there was still too much to do for her to take a nap, let alone sleep. Last night had been her first time leading a full scale guard operation. It had gone well, considering. But it had still been unexpected. Kirkwall had a problem with slavers, it always had, and she would need to put further measures in place to stop innocents from getting taken in future.

First she had to deal with Hawke, however. After last night, she doubted he would be in a good mood, or willing to talk to them all that much. She still couldn't believe how twisted with rage he had been. She fully believed he would have used that knife to torture that man, dragged out his death, left him bleeding in the sand, if Aveline hadn't intervened when she had. She had always known Hawke was capable of doing whatever it took to protect his family, but she hadn't realised, until now, how capable of savagery he could be. As much as it should worry or disgust her, she had been more worried about what it would do to Hawke or those watching, rather than the slaver himself.

"I should warn you, Guardsman, Hawke can be… difficult to deal with, at times. After last night, I'm not sure what sort of mood we'll find him in this morning."

"Captain, it's alright. I'll understand if he isn't at his best given everything he went through."

"Indeed. I still can't believe…" She sighed. "We didn't even know he'd been captured until we were there. If Fenris hadn't been their actual target, hadn't managed to kill some of the slavers-"

"We saved him, saved them both, Captain," Donnic said firmly, cutting her off. "It does nobody any good to think on such awful alternatives."

Aveline smiled. "You're right. And thank you, Guardsman, you did an excellent job last night."

"Thank you, Captain. If I may say, you led remarkably well. You've already got the respect of every man and woman at the barracks."

"Including yours?" she asked, knowing there was already a glow to her cheeks.

"That goes without saying, Ave- Captain," he said a little gruffly. Her stomach did an odd little flip and she found herself smiling as she looked away from him. Her gaze caught sight of Marshall and Brennan heading up the steps toward them and she gave them a wave, hoping the blush on her cheeks wasn't too obvious.

"Coast's clear, literally, Captain," Marshall said. "And we… accidentally blew up their ship."

Aveline laughed. "Accidentally?"

"I may have shot a flaming arrow at some flammable liquid which was surrounding some flammable barrels," he explained with a sly smile.

Brennan was grinning next to him. "We checked all the holding caves too—nothing there, Captain. Lots of the guard have stated that they want more coastal patrols, can't say I disagree. Nobody wants these slavers back here."

Aveline nodded. "Already working it out. Thank you all for your hard work. Go get some rest, you've earned it."

* * *

 

Theo stared at the cupboard with a scowl. It was practically empty and he sighed a bit. After eating porridge non-stop at Fenris', Theo fancied something a bit different for breakfast this morning, if it could still be called that. It was more like brunch now.

It was unlike him to sleep in, but he had been utterly exhausted. Weirder still had been his complete lack of nightmares. Instead, he'd felt… safe. He wasn't sure if that was simply relief at being home in his own bed or if it was because of _who_ he was sharing his bed with. Still, it had been a very welcome feeling, given the night he'd had. He still couldn't believe how close he had come to raping that man with a knife. And in front of all of those people, too. He had wanted to so badly. But usually when he was violent, it was to protect his family. Attacking that man like that? That was something else entirely, a purely selfish need for vengeance, to see him suffer. That scared him, more than he was willing to admit.

"Seems like we're having eggs," Theo said as he closed the cupboard and glanced at Fenris who was standing in the doorway in Theo's too-big-for-him-clothes—a long-sleeved jumper that kept falling down over Fenris' hands, forcing the elf to constantly roll them back up, and leggings that kept doing the same thing over his feet—his hair a shaggy mess and a cup of tea in his hand. "Actually, you haven't met them yet, have you?"

Fenris arched a brow. "Met… who?" he asked before taking another sip of his drink.

"The newest members of the Hawke household," Theo explained.

Fenris frowned.

"Speckles, Feathers and Clucky."

Fenris' frown deepened.

"Come on," Theo said as he pushed the back door open with a slight smile.

Fenris followed Hawke outside, leaving his mug on the counter and rather relived to see the tiniest hints of a smile at the rogue's lips–the first he had seen from him today. Hawke wasn't willing to talk about the previous night, apparently preferring to just ignore it–not that Fenris could blame him although it was surprising that the rogue was successfully keeping his mouth shut, given how free with his words he usually was. So Hawke's expressions were one of the few things Fenris could use to judge how he was feeling.

Hawke opened a pen, and three chickens walked out. Fenris had never seen a live chicken before and he stared at the strange clucking birds, uncertain what to do or how to react. Hawke glanced at him, looking amused before he crouched down and started talking to the birds.

"Who's a good birdie? You are, yes you are," he cooed. "I just need your eggs, yes I do."

The human glanced up at him, nodding for him to come closer. "They're friendly," Hawke encouraged. Fenris stepped closer, then cautiously crouched down next to the birds. One walked over to him making a great deal of noise.

Fenris arched a brow at Hawke. "Clucky, I presume?"

"Actually, that one's Feathers," Hawke said with a wry smile.

"They are odd," Fenris commented, letting his gaze drift back to the feathered animals.

"I suppose they are," Theo admitted. "I had them in Lothering, on our farm. Grew up with them really-well not _these_ ones, but chickens in general."

Theo watched as Fenris held his hand out for Feathers, still looking a bit wary and uncertain of the birds. She approached him, head bobbing and then tried to peck at his fingers.

"Nff." Fenris snatched his hand back, scowling at the bird.

"Aha… yeah. They do that, sometimes," Theo admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck. "They also have a habit of-"

Feathers took that moment to demonstrate exactly what he was about to say as she suddenly stretched out her wings and flapped them. Fenris fell backwards onto his arse, startled and _screamed_ as she advanced toward him, wings still flapping dramatically. Theo had never heard Fenris scream before with an actual, alarmed, high pitched, scream like that and his eyes went wide with shock.

Fenris scrambled to his feet and darted across the garden, fleeing in terror as Feathers gave chase, wings still flapping violently and head shaking back and forth. She cornered Fenris against the back wall, clucking angrily at him and the other two chickens joined her in the display. Fenris' eyes were practically white with fear and alarm and Theo just stared on, stunned into silence as Fenris grabbed a rake and started trying to shoo the birds away. His actions only made them flap their wings harder, with Clucky even leaping up onto the rake to try to nip at his fingers. Fenris screamed again and tossed the rake hard against the ground before retreating hastily into the corner. He lifted his leg protectively over his body as the birds started to try to nip at his ankles, yelping in pain every time they did.

The surprise finally wore off and laughter exploded out of Theo with so much force he doubled over. "You're scared of _chickens_!?" he managed to wheeze out.

"No!" Fenris said, panicked. "Maybe. I don't know!" He cringed as he tried yet again to shoo the birds away. "Hawke! Get them away from me!"

Theo continued to laugh, tears now staining his cheeks from the almost painful fit of giggles he had been thrown into.

" _Hawke!_ " Fenris cried out more desperately as he backed up even further from the swarming chickens.

"Oh Fen, you're trampling the potatoes!" Theo teased in between gasping breaths. The glare Fenris levelled at Theo could have cut glass, and he finally took pity on the petrified elf and threw down some seed for the chickens. All three of them rushed over and started happily pecking at the food and Theo put more seed down in their pen and, slowly, they all headed back inside.

Theo glanced back at Fenris, finding the elf hunched over, hands on his knees as he sucked in desperate gulps of air. He headed over to him, unable to keep the highly amused grin from his lips.

"So, that was unexpected."

Fenris let out a short self-depreciating kind of laugh and glanced up at him. "More so for me than you, I suspect."

"You don't remember why you're scared of them, then?" Fenris shook his head. "Huh. Chickens must have done something really awful to you for that fear to stick even after your memories were… wiped." Fenris let out a thoughtful hum, although he was still scowling, perhaps trying to recall those memories. Theo started to smirk. "I wonder what else you are irrationally afraid of?"

"I was not _irrationally afraid_. I'm certain there is an explanation, I just do not recall it," Fenris retorted a little stiffly.

" _Right_." His smirk widened. "You know, I've never heard you scream before."

"I did not scream."

"What was that high pitched screech, if not a scream?"

"I do not know what you are referring to," he lied. "All I could hear was your cruel and mocking laughter at my ordeal."

Theo snorted. "Come on. Let's get you inside where the _mean_ chickens can't _brutally_ attack you," he teased.

Fenris huffed and strode past Theo with his chin held high, and opened the door. Theo followed after him, clucking quietly in the elf's ear. Fenris swatted at him, nearly whacking him in the face – that was probably the point – and Theo laughed.

"Theo, darling! You have visitors," his mother cried from the living room.

Curious, Theo headed through to the living room with Fenris just behind him. Aveline and her crush, Donnic, were waiting for them. His smile immediately fell from his face, as did the warm smiles they had plastered on their own faces when they saw how displeased he was to see them both. He cursed his inability to conceal his emotions, but he couldn't help it because he knew why they were here. They wanted an official statement. Only problem with that was his mother hadn't actually _heard_ about the part where Theo had been captured too. With his recent injury, the last thing he had wanted to do was worry her further; she'd never let him leave the house again if he did.

Apparently taking his sudden change in expression as a bad thing, his mother started her usual fussing. "Is everything okay, dear?"

He cleared his throat and looked away from her, not wanting her to read his face. "Fine, mother. Perhaps you could make us some breakfast while I speak with Aveline and Donnic, though? I went out there to get the eggs but entirely forgot about them after Fenris-" Theo let out a yelp as Fenris jabbed him in the ribs.

She gave them both an amused look—thinking Maker only knew what and nodded her head. "Of course, dear, anything you need," she said as she headed to the kitchen.

"It won't take long, Hawke," Aveline started. "I just need your account of events. What you saw, how you got captured…"

" _Captured!?_ " his mother cried as she whirled around.

Theo groaned and shot a glare at Aveline whose eyes had gone wide. She mouthed him a quick apology, her cheeks flushed before he turned back around to face his mother with his best attempt at a reassuring smile. "It's fine, mother, nothing to worry about."

"You never said _you_ were captured as well. I thought only Fenris had been!"

"Why don't I take you for a nice long walk, Leandra?" Gamlen suddenly asked from the bedroom doorway, and for once, Theo was glad to see him. "We can go to the park in Hightown, if you like."

"No. I want to hear exactly what happened," his mother said stubbornly. "Stop protecting me."

"Mother…" Theo warned. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about any of this with his mother present. He didn't even want to talk about it at all. He just wanted to forget about it and pretend it had never happened.

"Theo…" she said back just as warily.

They stared each other down for a moment until Theo finally gave in and sighed. He plonked himself down in a chair, motioned for Fenris to sit too, then looked at the two guards.

"Serah Hawke," Donnic said. "We'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible. We know you were at The Blooming Rose at eleven bells. Can you explain what happened after that?"

Theo hung his head blushing and feeling Fenris' gaze burning the side of his face. It was bad how many people already knew but it was worse now that Fenris did too.

"I…was heading home when I saw the slavers heading through the streets. I followed, guessing they were heading for Fenris. When they split off, I began my attack, killing the archers on the roofs first."

"Theodore Malcolm Hawke! Going to fight _slavers_ alone! You know better!"

Theo winced. "I know…I do. But there wasn't _time_ to get help. They were there in Hightown already, mother."

"What happened next?" Aveline prompted.

"I engaged the others, the ones on the ground. By the time I had killed them and reached the next group, Fenris was already collapsing to the ground from the poisoned arrow. That's when I stopped thinking and just charged in. And that's why I got captured."

"Oh darling," his mother said, reaching over to give his hand a squeeze.

He gave her a small smile, hoping to reassure her, but there was still so much worry in her eyes. "When I woke up next," he continued, "Fenris was beside me, gagged and tied as I was. After a while, Fenris woke up and the slavers noticed. That's when they started making _comments_." He swallowed hard, some of the panic he'd felt the night before returning. "You saw the rest."

Aveline nodded.

"Saw the rest?" Leandra asked. "What happened?"

"Nothing did. The guards killed all of the slavers and saved us," Theo hedged, not looking his mother in the eye. He could tell she wanted to say more, could tell she knew there was more to the story, but she didn't press it.

And, thankfully, Donnic spoke up, asking Fenris for _his_ version of events in Hightown, and mother headed, a little reluctantly, back into the kitchen. "So you were taken from the streets in Hightown, after you bravely intervened to stop the attackers taking one of our guards, is that correct, Fenris?" Donnic gave him a wink, Fenris looked surprised for a moment before slowly nodding. Theo gave Aveline a grateful smile, realising that she was keeping Fenris' mansion from the reports for him; she nodded in return.

"I…managed to take down several of the attackers, but with my recent injury and the poisoned arrow they shot me with, I could not hope to take them all down," Fenris stated carefully.

"I'll make sure you are suitably rewarded for your bravery, Serah," Aveline announced. "And should such money contribute to a certain mansion in Hightown being better looked after, it wouldn't hurt much." She smiled warmly at the elf and Fenris dipped his head in understanding, clearly a little dazed that two guards were covering for him.

With that both of the guards rose shaking Theo and Fenris' hands.

"I wish you all a good day," Aveline said. "I might just come to the Hanged Man tonight, Hawke."

"Excellent idea!" Theo turned his most charming smile on Donnic. "You should join us too."

"I'd like that," Donnic replied cordially.

"Good. Then I'll see you both later."

Once he'd said his farewells to them, he turned back around to the quiet elf. "Well. That was lucky."

Fenris arched a questioning brow at him. It was always the same brow that he lifted, Theo noted. And it always made Theo want to nibble on it. Eyebrow munching fetish? Maker, he was weird.

"Lucky?"

"Oh, yeah. I only spoke to Aveline yesterday about your mansion and you. Asked her to hold off on doing anything about it until I get back from the Deep Roads. If I hadn't, you'd be rather homeless right now. Actually, Aveline wouldn't have even known about you to check the mansion for slavers…" He shuddered. "They'd never have found us in time."

Fenris nodded thoughtfully. "And without Varric's traps, I likely would not have had as much warning to get away as I did."

"I guess it pays to have friends, huh?"

"One friend in particular," Fenris said with a smile that made Theo's empty stomach flip.

"Careful," he said back, smirking. "I know you're deathly afraid of chickens."

Fenris' smile disappeared and was replaced by an unimpressed glare. "I told you, I was not afraid. Merely surprised."

Theo grinned. "Uh-huh." He headed back toward the table, and started readying it for the breakfast mother was cooking up for them in the kitchen. "So, what do you want to do today? I guess we should probably go check your mansion, see how bad it is, right?" A small part of him was looking forward to seeing the new blood stains on the floor. As far as Theo was concerned, slavers deserved to die horribly. They were absolute scum, an opinion he was pretty sure most of his group now held too, if they hadn't already before.

"I would like to see it," Fenris agreed with a nod.

"You feel well enough to head up there?" Theo asked. He'd actually wanted to mention the topic of Anders and Fenris for a while now. He never thought he'd see the day when Fenris let Anders near him, let alone let him use magic on him while Fenris was in such a weakened state. "You let Anders heal you, with magic. I was… surprised," he admitted.

"My injury slowed me down, endangered us all. I did not want such a weakness to linger."

Theo stared at him a moment, surprised once more. It made sense; Fenris would have been slower during his escape and while fighting, but the fact that he believed he endangered everyone because of it… that warmed Theo's heart.

"That's… very admirable, Fenris," he said with a grateful smile. "Did it hurt?"

"It… was less painful that I had expected it to be," he said with a confused little crinkle between his brows.

"Huh. Maybe because Anders is a spirit healer and not a blood mage?" Theo asked with a hint of a teasing smirk.

Fenris' green eyes narrowed. "Perhaps."

"Breakfast, boys," his mother called out as she brought through several plates of sweet eggs and toasted bread. He smiled at her, hating that he had to hide things in this world from her, hating that there was even anything to hide at all. It was worse because the look she gave him in return was a sad one; she knew he was hiding something, and it hurt her. But it was better to hurt her with a poorly concealed lie than to tell her the truth. He took a seat at the table with Fenris sitting next to him, and he hoped the meal would go quickly so that mother wouldn't have the chance to ask him any more questions, because as much as it hurt her to know that he was lying to her, it hurt him more to do it.

* * *

 

Carver sat in one of the clinic's rickety chairs. He'd taken Bethany down to the clinic, both of them wanting to give their brother and Fenris some space. Theo's mood was still sour, understandably, and Carver knew he was more likely to piss him off than he was to actually help at all. And he had received a cut or two during the fight last night, which he hadn't bothered having healed because others needed it more, but Bethany had insisted on him getting it properly cleaned at the clinic. So here he was. What he hadn't been expecting was to find Yasmin here as well. And he _definitely_ hadn't expected to end up with her sitting on his knee as she cleaned the cut on his face.

"Makes you look a bit rugged, Pup. I like it," she said with a wicked looking smirk. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm plenty rugged already," he countered. He had scars! He just lacked facial hair. Theo and father had hogged it all.

"Oh sweets," she cooed, her blue eyes softening. "You're an adorable hunk o' man meat. But you ain't rugged." She laughed, making him huff in annoyance. "A good thin' I don't like really rugged guys, hm?" Her smirk widened until her crooked teeth showed. "Not like that brother o' yours, right? Too much hair on that one."

A burst of smug pride warmed his chest and he couldn't help but smile. He wasn't sure he'd ever understand Yasmin, or figure out how she could make him huff in annoyance one moment and beam with happiness the next. But she did.

"I like it when yah smile, Pup. Suits you. Them blue eyes o' yours all lit up like twinklin' stars or somethin'. Looks much nicer than them frowns you seem so fond of."

He could feel the blush on his cheeks as he let out a slightly nervous chuff of laughter and he knew right away she was going to call him out on it.

She started to grin. "Awww blushin' again, are we?" She swivelled her leg over his so she was straddling him and leaned in closer. "Do I make you all hot and bothered, Beefcake?" she asked with a rock of her hips right against his crotch. He hissed in a breath, feeling her hot body press flush to his, and as his cock twitched, making her grin widen and eyes gleam wickedly. He couldn't deny that she did, weird as that was. But she was also insufferably smug about it and he glowered at her.

She shook her head, still grinning. And then her soft plump lips were slanting over his. His arms wrapped automatically around her slim waist and dragged her closer until her soft curves were flush against the hard expanse of his torso. With her in his lap, she easily slipped her tongue into his mouth and he moaned shamelessly.

He had missed this - Maker had he. There _had_ been girls back in Lothering, particularly in the time while Theo was with Tanner because, for once, they hadn't been able to be with him. But since coming to Kirkwall, just like the rest of his siblings, there had been very few times he'd been with a girl, not counting his favourite from The Rose, of course. But this was different to the rushed kisses the whores gave, this was… relaxed and unhurried. It was nice.

When Yasmin pulled back, Carver couldn't help but smile and that made her grin once more. "That's much better. Told yah I liked your smile, Muscles."

He chuckled, shaking his head. And then he glanced up at her more seriously. "I don't… get you," he admitted. "Is it just a game? A bit of fun? The way you always tease me-"

"What's not t' get?" she interrupted. "I like you, stupid. And you like me too." He blinked at her. "Don't think I can't feel this," she said as she grabbed him through his trousers and squeezed. He gasped, jolting in surprise, his cheeks flushing with colour, and she laughed, hard. "'Nd what's wrong wit' a bit'a fun, eh?"

"Nothing," he said. "I just… I've had girls, in the past, pretend to like me and then-"

"Well thems sounds like bitches to me," she said with a scowl. "I go after what I want, Pup." She moved a little closer, her hands cupping his cheeks. "And what I want is _you_. Simple, yeah?" He could only hum in agreement as she kissed him again.

Bethany watched her brother with shake of her head.

"I believe that means you owe me _ten_ silvers, instead of five," Anders said with a smug little smirk. Bethany sighed.

"If it was _any_ other girl, Carver would have beaten around the bush for a year, pining after them, before having the courage to do that," she said as she reluctantly pulled the coins out of her purse and handed them to the Warden at her side. "Yasmin is…"

"Up front. Blunt. Forward," Anders finished for her. "Yeah, hence why I won the bet," he said with a grin. "I figured she'd make the first move."

Bethany watched the way Yasmin wrapped her freckled arms around Carver's neck, the way her long thick hair made a fiery red halo around them as they continued to kiss. She didn't know all that much about Yasmin, but she knew Carver. Knew that he had a habit of picking shitty girls to fall in love with. Girls who either didn't like him back or just saw him as a way to get close to Theo. It wasn't really surprising that Carver resented their brother, and she didn't think anyone had been happier than Carver the day Theo came home holding Tanner's hand.

"Do you think she'll be good for him?" she found herself asking.

Anders scratched his jaw, pondering. "She's a good person, at least from what I've seen. She wouldn't help in the clinic if she wasn't, although some of that was definitely been in hopes of seeing Carver. She does seem to care, in her weird way, about the people around here though. So I don't think she'll be a _bad_ influence, necessarily. She does say what she thinks though. Told me that my nose is too straight the other day."

"Now that you mention it..." she said with a sly smile. He snorted and rubbed at his nose self-consciously and she couldn't help but giggle a little.

Her gaze returned to Yasmin and Carver as Yasmin hopped off of Carver's lap with a wink and then sauntered out of the clinic, leaving her brother breathless in the chair. Bethany wished she could be more like that sometimes. More… confident with men. Or with women, she supposed. Like Isabela was. The pirate hadn't _stopped_ telling her about all the things women were good for since they'd met. And Bethany was finding herself increasingly curious. More than once, she had caught herself staring at Isabela's womanly curves with envy and something else, something more. But above all else, she just wanted to be normal. She kept herself from getting close to others like _that_ for fear that they would find out she was a mage and turn her into the Templars. She constantly wondered what it would feel like to have someone who wasn't family or _just_ a friend to know her secret; to be completely honest and happy with someone. But it was a wishful dream. A child's fantasy. And she wasn't a child anymore.

"Hey," Anders said as he nudged her arm. She looked up at him, coming out of her reverie. "I know that look."

Her eyes widened slightly and she hugged herself self-consciously. "You do?"

"The simple version is: you want what Carver has… what Theo has, with someone. But you're a mage and you're worried. I see the same doubts and fears in your eyes as I've seen a hundred times in mine and Neri's and a dozen other Circle Mages." He reached out and squeezed her hand. "You don't need to worry, Bethany, once Neri's here, you'll be safe."

Bethany frowned slightly. "What can she do to protect me from the Templars?"

Anders smirked. "There's nothing she won't do to protect the people she cares about. She'd have to be dead or locked away not to protect you."

Bethany smiled, feeling a little better.

"Don't let fear hold you back," he said, his amber eyes suddenly watery. "I spent years running, from everything and everyone. It only hurt more in the long run." She nodded in reply, wondering just what had happened to him back in the Circle.

Kit walked in then with the most perplexed and amused expression she had ever seen on him. "Anders… there's a quiet guy outside waiting for you."

"Okay? Why didn't you bring them in?" Anders asked, tilting his head even as he fetched his staff from against the counter.

"They wouldn't budge. They're just standing there, holding a card up with your name on it," Kit replied, smirking bemusedly.

Anders let out a chirp of laughter. "Let me guess: they're dressed in black and you can only see their eyes?"

"Yeah. Bright blue ones. Gave me the creeps. I think he might be scaring off the patients."

"How do you know it's a he?" Anders asked, smiling.

Kit shrugged. "I don't, but would a girl be that creepy?"

"Who is this person exactly?" Bethany asked, frowning.

Anders sighed. "Others I'm helping. It shouldn't take long. Will you be okay until I'm back?" he asked. She nodded.

Anders headed outside, and, sure enough, Azure was waiting for him with a small sign in his…her…their hand. He smiled and nodded at the other Mage Underground member and then followed them down the alley. Again he tried to figure out if they really _were_ a bloke. But their clothes were not fitted, their gait was ordinary. They were fairly tall, just a bit shorter than Anders himself. Everything about them seemed to be gender-less, or gender unidentifiable. It was frustrating.

They entered a small building and inside, sitting around a long wooden table, were several of the Mage Underground he'd already met, plus a one he hadn't. He smiled at them and closed the door behind him.

El greeted him first, shaking his hand with a warm smile before offering him a seat. "It's good of you to make it," she said sincerely.

"Well, I'd have felt bad if I left Azure waiting outside the clinic all day," he replied lightly, making El chuckle.

"This is not all of us. Some are, admittedly, unwilling to trust you yet," El explained. "You already know Azure and Birdie, and this is Sparky," she said motioning to a darker skinned man with shining brown eyes.

Sparky leaned across the table and they shook hands. Anders immediately felt their mana mingling in the air between them as the Fade fizzled. Anders smirked.

"So, you're a spirit healer, huh?" Sparky asked. "I prefer lightning myself, obviously." He flashed Anders a grin before letting sparks fly up Anders' arm.

Anders snorted and shot some sparks straight back, making the other man shudder. "I know other spells too," he added with a chuckle.

Sparky grinned. "Good to know."

"We promised you more answers and explanations if you joined us," El said. "So, I thought you might appreciate hearing more about each of us, why we do what we do." He nodded. "You already know I have two children in the Gallows, Ruth and Edward. One day, I will get them out of there, but they are both still apprentices and not yet in control of their magic. So I wait and watch, and I help others when I can." She glanced at the black-haired mage sitting opposite them. "Birdie?"

Birdie sighed. "It's simple ain't it? My parents refused to hand me over to the Templars, so the Templars cut them and my little brother down," she explained resentfully. "I spent years hating those fuckers, planning how I'd kill them. Got trained up as a Knight Enchanter so I'd have the best chance of escaping the Circle. Got sent out with some Templars to fight some bandits that were fucking with the Circle's supply routes, and that's when I slaughtered them all and escaped." She shrugged. "Not that any of that matters, right? Kill one Templar, kill a hundred, there's always more. Mages have been trying for years to fix a broken system from the inside, but it ain't working, it's just getting worse. Next best thing is to get them _out_ , before it's too late." She fixed her dark eyes on him, narrowing them slightly. "We would have had more time at it too if it weren't for your elf freeing the Ferelden Circle."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"One Circle can't be freed without all the others wanting it too. We told you there would be tensions in the other Circles, more so than there already were – it's only a matter of time 'til some are wiped out. We needed some Divine issued decree freeing all the mages. The way it is now, it's just gonna make things go to shit faster."

"You don't know that-" Anders started.

"Maybe not," El said. "But we had people working with the Divine, talking with her on our behalf. But even if the Ferelden School proves a success—and I really hope it does—all it has achieved so far is to anger the Templars and the Chantry, upset the common folk, and unsettle the other Circles. Nobody was ready for that Circle to be given autonomy, but it was anyway, and now we must prepare for the worst, much sooner than we had originally thought we might need to." She sighed slightly. "We don't blame you or Neria, far from it, lad. It's just how it is. And we must be ready."

"I've been getting more and more mages out of the Gallows," Sparky explained. "It's risky business, but worth it. Nobody deserves to live in that fucking place."

"Were you a mage there then?" Anders asked.

Sparky nodded, a scowl forming between his brows. "They were going to make me Tranquil, a _Harrowed mage,_ all because I had been sneaking around at night. When I told them _who_ I had actually been doing, they didn't believe me. And of course the Templar denied it all. Serves me right for getting involved with the good looking bastard," he laughed bitterly.

"So now you hide right under their noses?" Anders asked, one brow arched.

Sparky grinned. "A lot of phylacteries were destroyed a while back by a mage with a particular… fondness for earth spells," he explained cheerily.

Anders huffed out a surprised laugh and then turned to look at Azure. "What about you then?"

Azure shifted but kept their mouth shut until El gave them a look. Azure let out a sigh, then blue eyes snapped to Anders' amber. "I had two sisters," a feminine voice said, finally confirming to Anders her gender. Azure looked down at the ground, a scowl forming between her brows. "The Templars are not the solution. So I stand against them."

"Azure is our muscle, she also helps us to observe and test mages to see if they will be suitable for our network."

"How do you test them?" Anders asked.

"We… put them in a stressful situation," El said with a sly glance at Azure. "We do all that we can to make sure that the mages we free are not going to create problems for us. So far, we have done well. But the new time constraints could be a problem, for all of us. The more people we have in our network, the better, Anders."

He nodded.

"That's all we have time for today," she said as she rose from her chair. "I hope it has helped you set your mind at least a little at ease about our work, and us."

He got to his feet too and decided he might as well ask about Karl. "I have a friend in the Gallows. Karl. He-"

"He's one of ours," El said quickly and Anders' mouth snapped shut. "I know you will want him freed, but we cannot do that. Not yet. He's the best healer the Gallows have, without him, many mages who get abused in there would not recover from their injuries. He knows this and has agreed to stay." She smiled sadly at him, most likely noticing his despondent expression. "I can get messages to him for you, but I would not recommend such a thing. Drawing attention to him in any way puts many lives at risk, his included."

Anders nodded glumly. "No, it's fine. Just as long as he's okay…"

"If we ever suspect he's in danger, Anders, we will get him out of there. I promise."

"Clock's a ticking," Birdie interrupted.

"Right," El said. "Until next time, A," she said with a smirk.

* * *

 

"For once, I actually like the blood stains," Theo said with a twisted smirk.

"Mm. I think I'll keep them," Fenris replied.

"Was that ever in question?" Theo asked with a laugh. Fenris smirked as he stepped over one of the slaver bodies. "I still can't believe you were on the run from bastards like that for six whole months," Theo said, shaking his head in disbelief. "That's no life."

"And yet I find myself uncertain how to even begin to start a new one," Fenris admitted with a rueful tinge to his voice.

"Well, you can start by making this place _safe_ again. I'll make sure Varric gets it sorted for you."

There was a genuine smile at Fenris' lips as he looked up at him, one that made Theo's heart flutter. "Thank you, Hawke."

Theo swallowed thickly. "Until then… I guess you'll just have to live with me," he said with a flirtatious smile.

"I've lived in worse conditions," Fenris replied wryly.

They both turned quickly at hearing something behind them, only to find Aveline standing in the doorway, smiling in relief. "Good. You're here, Hawke. Saves me going all the way to Lowtown," she said.

He tilted his head, one brow arched. "Oh?"

A broad grin spread across her freckled face.

"Neri's here."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  Sorry for the late chapter, I think? I am terrible at keeping track. Hope you liked this one even if it is a bit of an in-between chapter. Neri is up next, however. I'll try to be more prompt with her chapters seeing as you've all been waiting absolutely ages for her arrival. Even with her joining the team, this story is still stand alone enough for new readers, who've only read this part of the fic, to understand it all. And if you do have questions that I forget to explain in a note or in the fic, then throw me a question and I'll be more than happy to answer.
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta, ElyssaCousland, and to all my lovely readers and commenters. I am getting dangerously close to catching myself up so things could slow down even more if I can't fit some writing in every week. But we'll see how it goes.
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Chant.


	24. Surana the Slayer: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neri's here!

Fucking depressing, that was Neri's first thought at seeing the huge black statues that guarded the city's entrance finally appear ahead through the thick fog around the cliffs. Other cities had statues of fancily decorated religious figures at their entrances, maybe some old hero or legend instead. What did Kirkwall have? Slaves. Fucking slaves. The weeping figures were still bloody chained together by the shackles around their wrists. Although, given the city's charming nickname of _The City of Chains_ , she probably should have seen that one coming.

The boat she was on, _The Merana,_ easily cut through the choppy waters around the cliffs, and despite the thick fog, found the narrow passage through them. She stared up at the jagged walls of rock either side of her, watching some screeching gulls soar through the air high above, seemingly racing their boat.

She kept her eyes on the light at the end of the passage, waiting for the moment _The Merana_ broke through it and into the harbour beyond. She was so close to being back on land now, so close to being reunited with Anders, and the thrill and excitement of that had finally started to drown out the dark thoughts and worry that had been plaguing her for days now, ever since she'd reached Cumberland and heard the news from Ferelden.

Kirkwall wouldn't have been her first choice as somewhere safe to flee to—she doubted there was _anything_ safe about this city, not when there wasn't a Warden outpost here, only a fuckload of Templar wankers. Templar wankers she hoped Anders had managed not to piss off. Neri and he both had a knack for upsetting the silver-plated pricks, but she knew Anders also knew how to lay low, when needed. And it sounded like he _did_ need to.

She still couldn't believe the Tower she had grown up in was just _gone._ Blown up. That just…didn't happen. She didn't even know _how_ it had happened, just that it had. That it was that bitch Rylock's doing. That she'd tried to pin the blame on Anders and the Wardens and make Anders _Tranquil_. Fucking bitched-faced cunt. If she weren't already dead, Neri'd tear her asshole open so wide she'd be able to peel it back and wrap it around that bitch's shit-stained face. As it was, Neri was _still_ tempted to find some way to bring the bitch back to life just to kill her all over again.

She sucked in a deep lungful of the salty sea air and let it out slowly. She'd kept doing that the entire journey—getting all riled up and pissed off. She knew most of it was due to worry though. Until she had Anders in her arms again, dark thoughts would continue to eat away at her. She had no way to _know_ if he was okay. His ship could have sank, he could have been captured by Templars, could have been mugged and killed, could have—

_The Merana_ finally made it through the choppy passage and out into the harbour, and Neri found herself staring at the view, at the city sprawled out in the shadow of the mountain. She started to calm down again. She was finally here—yes, she still needed to find Anders, but at least she'd be _doing_ something instead of pacing the ship for days, chewing her nails to smithereens.

She was hoping it wouldn't take her long. If she was ever close to him, she'd be able to sense the taint in him. Until that moment, she'd just have to ask around. But because she didn't know how long that would take, Arietta had told her to announce herself to the city's Viscount—some formal ceremonial shite that needed to be done because apparently everyone would get their fancy frilled knickers in a twist if they found out the Slayer of the Archdemon had been in the city and not said hi. She didn't give a flying fuck about nobles and their snobby opinions, but with shit not going well in Ferelden, Neri didn't want to start an international incident, so she would behave, for now.

It wasn't like she was planning on sticking around in this wankstain of a city anyway. She had shit to do. People she needed to help—like a certain Antivan boyfriend of hers who she hadn't seen for something like six fucking months now. This was to be a quick grab and go. That was her plan, at least. She knew better than to think it would be _that_ easy.

She crinkled her nose and sighed, watching as her puff of fogged air got carried off on the blustery breeze.

"You think the smell's bad now," the Captain said from behind her, obviously mistaking the crinkle of her nose for finally getting a nasty whiff of the city a little ways off from their boat, "wait until you're on foot."

"Can't wait," she said with a sarcastic twist of her lips.

He grinned at her, all teeth, a mix of white and gold shining through that thick dark beard of his. "Sure this Warden of yours is worth braving Kirkwall for?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

He let out a chuff of laughter. "Must be quite the guy!"

"Friends for life, us. I'd do anything for him," she said simply with a slight shrug of one shoulder.

"Bit more than friends, I think," he said with a knowing glint.

Neri smirked. "Just a bit."

"Sure you don't want us to wait at the Docks for you? Ain't no trouble."

"I'm sure." She smiled. "City this big, finding one guy won't exactly be easy and you've done more than enough for me already."

"Lassie, way I see it, this ship's half yours. You want to take her out for a sail, I've got no qualms with it."

She grinned at the human. "It was a _gift_ for Matthew, just 'cause he decided to name it after both our surnames, doesn't make it half mine, Jerimiah."

"That ain't the way Lord Merton sees it, m'lady. He took quite a liking to you at that Royal Wedding, it seems."

"He must've if he's willing to let me sail this thing—we'd only go and end up at the bottom of the damned sea."

"Hah! Takes quite a bit of skill to sink a ship, I'll have you know, lass. And I don't think you're _that_ good." She rolled her eyes but found herself grinning at the sight of his infectious smile. He clapped her on the shoulder, his huge hand completely blanketing the narrow joint. "We'll be docking at the Gallows—new ships like this ain't allowed at the Docks without registering there first."

She nodded in understanding. "That actually works pretty well for me. I know a Templar at the Gallows and if Anders has landed himself in any trouble, he'll know about it for sure."

The Captain snorted in amusement. "Not often you see mages and Templars calling themselves _friends_ , 'specially not in Kirkwall."

Neri smiled a little sadly. "I'm not sure if we _are_ friends still," she admitted. Cullen had been so different after Uldred's uprising. She had tried to talk to him, had tried to tell him not to give up, but she wasn't sure if it got through to him or not. She didn't like the fact that he'd come here, of all places.

"Guess you'll find out soon," he said.

"I guess I will." She inhaled deeply then smiled gratefully up at the Captain. "Thank you again for bringing me here."

"You won't be thanking me when you're actually _in_ the city," he laughed. Giving her shoulder one final squeeze, he headed to the back of the ship.

She stared back out at the wide expanse of glistening bay that was quickly being eaten away at as they cut through the calm waters. Beyond that, the city shimmered in the afternoon sunshine. Even from this distance, she could see workers at the Docks swarming ships to remove their cargo and carrying the heavy crates inside to the numerous warehouses dotted along the city edge. Even further away, up a level of _really_ big steps that Neri was already groaning at the sight of, was another level of crowded buildings of all shapes and sizes that were practically built on top of each other. Further still, cut into the mountainside were pale stone buildings that kept glistening every time the sun came out from behind a cloud.

But that wasn't where they were heading. _The Merana_ turned and headed straight toward the Gallows—Neri's breath hitched at the sight of the massive prison sitting at the far end of the harbour, jutting out of its own island of rock. The building itself looked nearly as high as Fort Drakon had been and was surrounded by high, spiked walls. And in the courtyard and along the docks, she could see Templars marching up and down, patrolling. She was pretty sure they hadn't even _tried_ to make it not seem like a prison.

Despite wearing her Archdemon armour set with the Warden's insignia on her chest, she still always got butterflies in her stomach whenever she had to deal with Templars—years of mistreatment at their hands would do that to you, apparently. Luckily, as soon as they had docked, Jerimiah was the one to do the talking with the silver-plated pricks.

He came over to her a few moments later, grinning. "Didn't tell them who you are, just said we're a new ship wanting to trade with Kirkwall. Got papers to sign—crew's allowed to stretch their legs until I'm finished with that. Figured you can have a little wander 'round, see if you can't spot that Templar of yours, lass."

"Thank you!"

"Figured you're the type who don't want too much fuss, 'specially round this lot," he said, his own smile widening. "Off ye go then. We'll be here a little longer if it all goes ass up for you and you need a quick getaway."

"Such faith in me," Neri laughed, making Jerimiah's smile crack into a broad grin.

He slapped her on the back. "Off you go girl. I'll be seeing yah."

She nodded. "Thank you again."

The Templars let her off the ship without any fuss, but her skin crawled all the same as they eyed her, watching as she walked up the dock and into the Gallows Courtyard beyond. The dragon-headed staff on her back wasn't exactly subtle, so either they'd seen that she was a Warden or they were the worst Templars in Thedas; either way, she was grateful not to be spoken to or touched.

Her relief didn't last long, however, as she entered the courtyard to see just how many Templars were patrolling the area. She watched a large group all marching in some unified military formation—a show of force that made her lip curl. Then spotted the Tranquil next, the ones all selling their wares at the stalls. Their brands had been made deliberately visible with their hair pulled back, away from their face—like the Templars _wanted_ everyone to see what good little mage pets they were.

She held back a snarl, just barely, as one nodded at her in greeting and started asking if she wanted enchantments. She turned away from him, shaking her head, but everywhere she looked there were either slave statues, Templars or Tranquil. It was fucking ridiculous. The poor mages stuck in this fucking hellhole probably hated their lives. She clenched her teeth, pulled her hood over her head to starve off some of the chill of the blustery air, and forced herself to search for Cullen.

She weaved through a few more groups of people, ears flickering as people bartered with the stall owners along the edges of the courtyard. She forced herself to scan various groups of Templars, so far only seeing older ones standing on guard, watching her every move. It wasn't until she reached one of the more secluded courtyards that she heard a familiar voice.

"Stay vigilant," he said, voice carrying to where she stood watching.

There was Cullen, standing in the far corner in front of a group of jittery looking youths. Most were nodding their heads, one was even frantically scribbling down notes in a journal. Recruits then, she guessed. Cullen had been like that once: all nerves, stutters and blushes. He still did that, as far as she knew, but the man standing before her now held himself proudly, confidently. His face was an unreadable mask, an expression all authority figures seemed to master rather quickly—she wondered if there was a handbook for it, and if she could read it herself.

"And always do your duty," he finished, eyeing each of the men and woman in front of him.

She was tempted to interrupt, maybe with a joke or something. Instead, she watched him from afar with her arms crossed over her chest, hugging her cloak close to her as Arietta's words echoed back through her mind. _You'll be representing mages, elves, the Grey Wardens and all of Ferelden, Neri_ , she had said before they had parted ways back in Cumberland. _No pressure_ , _then_ , Neri had replied sarcastically. She was still nervous about ballsing it all up. But one thing at a time, she reminded herself.

The recruits all left Cullen's side, marching past her back toward the main courtyard. She watched him a moment, watched the way his shoulders slumped a little – whether in relaxation or disappointment, she couldn't say – his expression remaining fairly guarded as he surveyed the courtyard.

Then their eyes met.

For half a heartbeat, they just stared at one another. Then she pulled back her hood, offered him a small, coy smile, and watched him suck in a breath through his teeth. She swallowed thickly before stepping forward, toward him. She had known Cullen for years—he had _saved_ her, once—but they hadn't seen each other since the Blight, and she had no idea if the same man was standing before her now, or not.

She dipped her head as she came to a stop a few feet from him. "Cullen."

"Neria," he breathed. She smiled, feeling a slight blush on her cheeks—she had always loved the way he said her full name. He cleared his throat, also blushing. "It is good to see you."

"And you."

He had bags under his eyes, she realised as they stared at one another, neither sure what to say or do. But he didn't look quite as sickly as he had the last time she had seen him. He was tanned, his hair thick and curly, and his face had filled out a bit. But he was stiffer than she remembered him being. And this was definitely more awkward than it had ever been between them. It was as she was checking him out that she realised his armour was different to what the other Templars wore. His was Knight Captain's armour. She wasn't sure how he'd landed that but it was good to see him doing well.

"How are you?" they both asked at once, before they let out their own nervous chuckles. He motioned with his hand for her to go first, his gaze flickering away from hers, embarrassed. He was probably going to start rubbing his damned neck soon.

"I'm… good," she said. It wasn't true. But she wasn't about to get into specifics with Cullen, especially not _here_. His head tilted at that, his golden eyes flickering back to her face as a frown wrinkled his features. He'd always been _fairly_ good at reading her. But he was too polite to press, she knew. She smiled. "How are you…Knight Captain?"

He chuckled a little, nodding. "I am well," he replied.

She never could resist teasing him. She smirked. "You look it. And that new armour fits you well."

He coughed into his hand, blushing hard again. He managed a nod. "As do you," he said. She arched a brow at him playfully. "I mean, I haven't seen you this… t-tanned before. Have you been on holiday?"

She had to bite back a laugh. "If you call getting bent over a table and utterly bollocked by the Wardens at Weisshaupt a holiday, then sure."

"Maker's breath, they…. What?" he said, paling. She started to laugh and he relaxed a bit, sighing.

"It was a metaphorical table, Cullen. Well, technically there _was_ a table in the room but it was… I wasn't bent over it." And now she was rambling like her Warden friend, Max. Wonderful. She shook her head.

"I had heard you might be coming to Kirkwall," he said, changing the subject. Not that she blamed him—he already looked like a tomato. "May I enquire as to why?"

She flinched at his formal tone. Apparently new Cullen got straight to business. "Not pleased to see me, Knight Captain?" she asked coyly.

He practically tripped over his tongue in his rush to get words out. "No- no," he said with a shake of his head. "It's not that. I am, pleased, I mean, to see you. I just-"

She chuckled. "I _could_ be here to see you."

His eyes widened ever so slightly, his cheeks heating with colour some more, and then there was the briefest of smiles at his lips. "I highly doubt that."

She smiled a little sadly. "I'm here on Warden business," she admitted.

He shifted on his feet, suddenly serious. "Are we about to be overrun with darkspawn? If so, I should probably mention it to the Knight Commander."

A smile twitched at her lips. "Fear not, Ser. It's nothing quite as exciting as that," she explained. "One of my Wardens has gone walkabouts, is all. One you know quite well, actually."

His jaw twitched once. "Let me guess," he said dryly. "Anders?"

She snorted. "The one and only."

"Still running away is he?" Cullen asked, shaking his head in exasperation.

"He has a good reason this time… but yes."

"Ah. So he _was_ involved with the explosion at Kinloch Hold?"

"If by involved you mean wrongly accused of it, then yes, he was. He nearly died in the blast. He alone saved Irving's life," Neri said, feeling her anger rising. The nobles that wanted to overthrow Arietta and Alistair had been spreading rumours that the Wardens, specifically Anders, were responsible for the bombing. If that kind of news had spread here then Anders could well be in danger. She needed to find him. "You've not seen him then? Don't have him locked up in that ugly prison of yours?"

"I wasn't even aware he was here," Cullen said. "He's not someone I fancy tracking down ever again," he added with an unimpressed scowl that had Neri chuckling.

She shoved her curly hair away from her face and smiled up at him. "So, I don't suppose you could give me a tour of the city, could you?"

He blinked, surprised and then nodded. "O-of course. It would be my pleasure." He cleared his throat and offered her his arm. "This way, my lady."

She took it with a smile, and he led her across the courtyard and out the main gate, listening as he gave a fellow Templar a brief explanation of where they were heading. Then they headed down the dock together, the wind buffeting them both and sending Neri's already messy hair billowing around her head. He stepped into a little row boat, then held out his hand for her to join him. Once in, she settled down next to him, and a man with neatly cropped black hair nodded at them both in greeting before starting to row them toward the Docks.

They sat in silence as the ferryman rowed, but it wasn't awkward. It was the kind of silence that spoke volumes of all they _needed_ to say still, but couldn't until they had some privacy. Neri found herself staring up at the staggered city above. The thick black smoke seemed to cling to the middle section of the city, hanging over it like a dark storm cloud. She was just now beginning to hear the bustling sounds that she was used to from other cities, and she found that a small comfort.

Once at the Docks, Cullen helped her from the boat and tossed the ferryman a copper as thanks.

They linked arms again, his shiny silver armour contrasting beautifully against her near black Archdemon set, the one that glinted purple in the sunlight. His armour made him look bulky, strong, and commanding, whereas hers hugged her lithe frame, making her look tiny next to the Templar at her side. They strolled along the creaky wooden planks of the dock together and then up and through the dockside market. There were people everywhere, some working, some shopping, some waiting. One man caught her eye and immediately grinned at her.

"Grab a dish, buy some fish!" he said to her, offering her a tray. His stall was beautifully displayed, with fish she had never seen before all spread out across it. There were great big blue fish hanging from hooks on a rail; small little silver fish were spread out in a circle around a bowl of shellfish, shrimps and crayfish; and piled along the edges were crabs, lobsters and squids.

"You like fish, serah?" he asked her, his eyes gleaming brightly.

She smirked. "I _usually_ prefer meat," she said, "but I don't mind fish now and then." She winked at the stall owner and Cullen coughed loudly next to her. "But I'm not buying today," she added. "Some other time, perhaps." The man nodded in response before wishing her a good day.

Cullen was blushing as he led her up through the market. She could tell he was trying to think of things that would cool his blush down, but she wasn't about to let that happen.

"Been a while since we last saw each other," she remarked. "Jog my memory, when was the last time exactly?" She knew precisely when it was and what she had been doing at the time—or who she had been doing—when Cullen had last seen her. Solona had been licking her out while riding Zev's face, and Cullen had walked in on them all together on the bed like that. He'd actually _fled_ at seeing them. Neri barely held back her smirk as Cullen went bright red as he too recalled that memory.

"You haven't changed at all," he said hoarsely, giving her a reprimanding glance in the process.

"I wish that were true for the both of us," she replied a little sadly.

He sighed and looked like he wanted to say more, but dragging this conversation down into something depressing was the last thing she wanted.

"So, where do you think Anders is? You're the expert on hunting him down, after all," she said, smirking.

"Please don't remind me."

She laughed. "Didn't he take you through a bog one time?"

Cullen gave a rueful shake of his head. "No, he got _stuck_ in a bog. Bloody fool was waist deep in muck, unable to move. Another day and he probably would have died of exposure."

She winced slightly. "Well, let's assume he's had the common sense to hole up somewhere warm and safe here. Any ideas where he would go?"

"A tavern, most likely. Or a brothel. That's where we _usually_ found him before."

She chuckled. "I will be sure to check such establishments first then."

Her eyes caught sight of a qunari standing at the edge of the street. All that grey skin was painted with red paint and he held a polearm in his right hand, the blade at the top nearly was the length of Neri's arm. She frowned slightly, and Cullen seemed to notice her expression. He sighed as he followed her gaze.

"They've been in the city over a year now," he explained. "Their ship wrecked here not long after the Blight ended. They _claim_ to be waiting for a ship home."

She snorted. "Their ships wouldn't take that long to get here."

"And therein lies our problem. We cannot force them to leave due to their numbers, and yet they will tell us no other reason for their prolonged stay."

During the Blight, Sten had said he wouldn't be able to head home without his sword—it was possible something similar had happened to these qunari, but she doubted they had _all_ lost their blades. Which probably meant they were here for some _other_ reason. A reason she wasn't curious about _at all_ … because she was here for Anders and _only_ Anders.

"Hopefully they leave soon," she said instead. Cullen hummed in reply, sounding worried, and she sighed. "I could try speaking with them, while I'm here." He looked at her sceptically, one brow arched. "What? I speak some of their language. We had a qunari help us stop the Blight, remember?"

"I was more surprised that you were offering to… delegate for us." She narrowed her eyes at him. "You were not always the best at speaking with those of a higher rank than yourself," he recalled with a small smile twitching at his lips.

"One time! I told Greagoir he had caterpillars for eyebrows _one_ time, Cullen." He coughed out a laugh. "Besides, I'm not _completely_ incapable of keeping my trap shut." He gave her a dubious look and she started to smirk. "Of course, it _does_ help if I have something in it." That had him blushing crimson and her grinning broadly.

They reached the giant steps she had seen from afar a moment later and she groaned.

"They're something you'll need to get used to, I'm afraid. Kirkwall is much hillier than Ferelden."

" _Lovely_."

* * *

 

They were both breathless and a bit sweaty by the time they reached the top, thanks to their armour and the oppressive smoky air.

"Welcome to Lowtown," Cullen said with a slight scrunch of his nose.

"I love all the pollution, really gives it character," Neri snarked. Cullen let out a dry chuckle and nodded for them to continue walking.

The people of Lowtown didn't seem to care about the smoky air as they went about their business; she supposed they were just used to it. They _did_ seem to care about seeing a Templar patrolling the streets, however. Most moved out of the way, staying well clear, and Neri could see the wariness in their eyes—that certainly didn't help to calm her worries about the Order here.

" _That_ is The Hanged Man," Cullen said as they passed a large mud brown building. "One of the most popular taverns in the area." She could smell the stale stench of vomit and piss that seemed to permeate the air around it. "I'd say there, and at Lirene's," he pointed to another door not far away, "are your best places to start searching for Anders. Lirene, in particular, helps Ferelden refugees. Anders may have gone to her for help at some point."

Neri nodded. She couldn't sense the pull of Anders' taint at either place, but that didn't mean he hadn't been to them in the past. Anders tended to leave an impression; she was sure _someone_ would remember seeing or talking to him.

They headed through another market and then reached yet more steps. She sighed and he gave her a wry smile.

"It reminds me of the bloody Tower," she said. "Although, I guess they're short a few sets of stairs now," she added darkly as she began climbing the steps.

He nodded a little grimly. "I saw the list of the casualties from the explosions." He shook his head, scowling.

"Rylock did it because _I_ made the Circle autonomous," Neri said with a frown.

"Surely you don't blame yourself?"

She ground her teeth together. "I don't know. Rylock was clearly mad. But her actions weren't so different to what Uldred did. They were both rebelling against the system. With Rylock, it was because I was changing it." She shrugged.

They were quiet a moment while they climbed, both thinking on it all. Neri had enough shit on her shoulders without adding guilt about all those lost at the Tower to it. But it was difficult not to think about it.

"An autonomous Circle won't work, you must know that," Cullen said suddenly. Apparently that's what _he_ had been thinking about. She glared at him. "Without the Templars to watch over them-"

"The Templars _are_ still watching, but they're also working _with_ the mages," she bit out. He looked ready to argue but she cut him off. "Cullen, we really shouldn't discuss this topic. You know how I feel. And you made it pretty clear during the Blight how _you_ now feel. So let's just leave it before we end up arguing."

He sighed roughly and rubbed at the back of his neck. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she said. "I shouldn't have mentioned the Tower. We both have less than pleasant memories of that place, after all."

The rest of the climb up the steps was silent and when they reached the top, they ended up in another market. This one, however, could not have been any different to the ones she had seen previously. The ground was tiled, the stalls were fancily decorated and were all selling high-end dresses, jewellery and shoes, the walls were adorned with hanging baskets of bright scented flowers, and there were nobles _everywhere_. She shuddered.

"Let me guess, _High_ town?" she asked with a slight smirk.

Cullen nodded, chuckling faintly. "Kirkwallers aren't the most imaginative sort."

"Fereldans aren't that much better, let's be honest. The Black Marsh…The Wending Woods…Redcliffe."

He smiled, and then led her through the crowds of swarming nobles. Neri tried not to gag on all the potent perfumes that wafted through the air around the market and assaulted her poor nose. She had never liked nobles, despite counting several of them as her friends. But she was probably, at least in part, one herself now, wasn't she? She had the coin, or could _get_ the coin from the Crown. And she was well-known thanks to the whole killing the Archdemon _thing_. But she was still a mage and an elf, so she would never really be accepted into the higher circles of nobility. Not that she gave a shit about that. There _was_ one noble she wanted to say a brief hello to while she was here though…

"Cullen, do you know many of the nobles here?"

He shook his head. "I've not been here long enough to know many of them, and most of my work is in the Gallows."

She nodded. "I figured as much. Haven't heard about any nobles returning to the sister after a long absence or anything like that though?"

"No, not as far as I know. The Viscount might know though, and he is expecting you. I would try asking him."

"So now you're encouraging me to talk to important people?" she asked, grinning cheekily.

He smiled sympathetically down at her. "I don't think this one can be avoided," he replied.

Neri sighed. "Arietta said the same thing. Something about etiquette I need to follow while visiting another nation."

"Mmh. Your favourite thing."

"Right?" She sucked in a deep breath, then looked up at him. "I should probably go make introductions."

He nodded. "And I should return to the Gallows," he agreed. "Good luck in there."

She smiled sheepishly. "I have a feeling I'll need it."

"Will you… call on me before you leave?"

Her smile widened. "Absolutely. It's been… nice to see you again."

"It has. Seeing you, I mean," he added, coughing. She chuckled. "I will see you… soon, then."

"Soon," she nodded.

She watched him walk away before she turned to stare up at the stairs leading to the Keep. More steps, and now she had to talk to nobles—really fucking important nobles. She sighed and headed toward them.

There was a long line of people stretching down the left side of the steps, but Neri walked right past them all, ignoring the grumbles and glares she got for doing so. She got as far as the doors before the guards stopped her.

"Back of the line, elf!" one shouted before she could even open her mouth.

"Actually, I'm-"

"Back of the line!" the guard snapped.

"Yeah, you heard, knife-ear!" a human from the queue shouted.

She rolled her eyes, but then realised with a mischievous smirk that being famous might actually be fun, for once. She started undoing her cloak. "I am here to greet the Viscount of Kirkwall," she said. "My name is Neria Surana, Slayer of the Archdemon, Saviour of Denerim and Ender of the Fifth Blight." She let her cloak fall to the ground, revealing her glistening Archdemon armour, her smirk only widening at the sight of their jaws dropping.

The guards babbled out apologies as they rushed to open the door for her. She ignored them as she picked up her cloak and marched inside.

There were more guards and nobles inside the Keep—more people she wanted nothing to do with, in truth. But she steeled herself nonetheless.

"The Viscount will see you shortly!" a man with fiery red hair said from the top of a staircase to her left. There was yet another queue of impatient looking people gathered outside and Neri smirked once again as she headed for the stairs.

She pushed to the front of the queue, glad for once for her bony elbows. "I'm here to see the Viscount," she said with an innocent smile.

The red-haired man's nose crinkled as he folded his arms across his chest. "It's appointment _only_. And I highly doubt _you_ have one," he sneered.

She clenched her hands, her gloves creaking with the strain. "I don't need one—apparently I'm expected," she replied smugly.

The man scoffed. "And just who are you, exactly?" he asked, his snobby tone making her want to smack him in the face.

"Most people call me Neri," she said. "But it's Surana the Slayer to _you_."

The man practically choked and she smiled smugly. "I- I'm begging your pardon, my lady," he said in a rush. "We were not told when to expect you—"

"Well. Here I am, growing increasingly impatient…"

He sputtered again. "I will inform his Excellency of your arrival at once."

"I should hope so, that is your job after all, is it not?" she said, hiding a smirk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Two will be out soon. I really did have to split it because Neri was being a chatterbox. But, anyway, I hope you liked having Neri to read again! Or, to those who haven't read any of my other stuff, that you liked meeting her. As I've mentioned before, I work hard to make this as stand-alone as possible, so hopefully there isn't anything that makes new readers scratch their heads in confusion with this. If there is, feel free to comment and ask me any questions you have.
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely reviews- I am looking forward to your thoughts on this one! And of course I'd be absolutely no where without my beta, Lys.
> 
> Until next time, 
> 
> <3


	25. Surana The Slayer: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anything sounds off or weird with this one, blame the fact I did last minute edits from my phone XD. 
> 
> Anyway, Neri finds Anders in this one. And there's some rather snappy smut at the end of it, too. 
> 
> Hope you like it. And thanks for the continued support. I've been struggling with motivation to write lately--and am catching myself up at an alarming rate--so please do keep the love coming. 
> 
> <3

 

Viscount Dumar was a very calm and polite man, but Neri could tell that underneath that calm exterior was a whole lot of worry and stress. Based on the state of the carpet in the room, she could tell he was a pacer too, but unable to pace while they sat and spoke, he had taken to tapping his foot on the ground instead. Annoyingly, his anxiousness was making her anxious—or more anxious, as it was. And she was really coming to regret ever mentioning the Qunari to the poor man, as it had only increased the tempo of his irritating foot tapping.

"The Qunari are a worry, a constant one. We have given them everything they have asked for in an attempt to be accommodating, but still they remain here, with no further reason as to why," Dumar said with a sigh, his blue eyes watching her yet focused on something far away.

She leaned forward in her chair, hoping to draw back his attention to her more fully. "They're here for a reason," she warned. She didn't want to add further worry to the man, but she knew enough about the Qun to know that this probably wasn't a simple situation or one that would be resolved quickly. How long had it taken Sten to admit he was missing his sword and needed it back before he could go home? Fucking months, it felt like.

"One which they will not reveal to us," Dumar agreed as he dragged his hand over his stubbled jaw. "You travelled with a Qunari during the Blight, did you not? I know you are not planning to stay here long… but perhaps you could-"

"I told the Knight Captain of the Templars that I might be able to speak with the Qunari. I don't know if it will help though—I'm not the best at talking with officials." She gave him an impish smile, cringing as she remembered her greeting him with a very tactful 'you're bald'.

He let out a chuff of laughter, head shaking. "Still…at this point, I'll take any outside help I can get."

Neri nodded, chewing on her lip a bit. "I was given the title of Kadan by one of their Sten. It might count for something," she said with a shrug. He seemed to take that as a sign of hope and she smiled slightly. "I know you're worried about their presence here, but as threatening as they look, the Qunari are an honourable people—they won't attack unless provoked, I don't think."

"I hope you are right," he replied wearily.

Neri cleared her throat and moved to the edge of her seat. "Well, if that's everything…" She made to get up but the Viscount gave her a sympathetic look.

"I'm afraid it is customary for a visiting dignitary from another nation to greet some of the higher ranking nobles of the city upon arrival."

Neri sighed.

"I would do away with such protocols, if I could," he said as he stood from his seat. "This shouldn't take more than a few hours, however."

"Hours?" she squeaked.

"At the least, yes."

Neri groaned inwardly.

* * *

 

"You changed things," Seamus, the Viscount's son, was saying to her. "That's something. Change doesn't always happen peacefully. In fact, it rarely does."

She sighed a bit and ran a hand through her thick golden curls. "Maybe. But it's not like I really thought about what making the Circle autonomous would do," she admitted. "I just wanted it and didn't really consider that something like that could even happen." She took another sip from her glass, grateful for the alcohol being served at this ridiculous gathering, and even more grateful for Seamus' company—he was an excellent buffer between her and the nobles all trying to speak to her.

"Would you make the same choice again, knowing what happened?" he asked her as he smoothed out a strand of his dark hair.

Neri smirked a bit. "If I knew Rylock would blow up the Tower as well, then yeah, obviously. I would just kill that bitch and any other Templar wankheads so that the transition would be all smooth and seamless."

He smiled, shaking his head slightly, apparently not disgusted with her answer. "I'd like to change things here. The way this city is now…" He shook his head, scowling slightly. "Darktown and Lowtown look the worst off, like they're the most broken parts of the system, but a lot of the people there are better than the people in this room."

"They know what it's like to have nothing—sometimes that makes them resentful assholes but most of the time they're modest and humble and know that helping one another out is the best way to survive, right? Nobles are almost always selfish, greedy pricks with giant-as-fuck sticks up their arses. I hate them." She winced slightly. "She says to the noble," she added ruefully.

Seamus let out a chuckle. "You're not alone in such thoughts."

She tilted her head, watching him watch the nobles all mingling around them; she could see the very subtle downward turn of his lips as he regarded them and knew he was telling the truth. "You're kind of blast of fresh air, you know that, right?"

He smiled, blue eyes dropping their gaze a little shyly, his cheeks colouring. "That's kind of you to say."

"I mean it. I've actually enjoyed talking to you…which can't be said for any other person in this room."

"Considering these are the very worst of the worst…"

Neri let out a chuff of laughter and bopped his arm playfully. "It was meant as a compliment, you arse."

He smirked and sipped more of his own drink and Neri went back to tapping on the balcony rail a little impatiently. "I need to get out of here," she muttered.

Seamus chuckled. "Desperate to get away from me?"

"Of course not. I just need to find my fellow Warden and-"

He smiled softly at her. "You'll need a distraction."

She nodded and gave him a devious little grin. "What did you have in mind?"

"Head for the door and you'll see."

She squeezed his shoulder then did just that. She knew Bran had a room all booked for her at some inn—admittedly that was better than staying with any of these nobles—but she didn't fancy hanging around for the some snobby Guard Captain to escort her there, not when she wanted to find Anders.

Neri headed down the steps and manoeuvred through the crowds just as she heard a cry behind her. Looking over her shoulder revealed Seamus having spilled a drink all over some woman's dress. Neri smirked, as she easily slipped out the door unnoticed thanks to everyone's attention now being on the wailing woman. She wasn't entirely sure where she was heading, but she figured at this time in the evening, that tavern would be as good a place as any to check out. If she could just remember how to get there…

* * *

 

Hightown was easy to navigate, for the most part. It was Lowtown however, that was giving her a damned headache. It was dark now and she was struggling to remember any useful landmarks that might get her to where she needed to go—it didn't help that the place was a bloody maze of identical looking streets made up of undistinguishable mud buildings that were all crammed together wherever she looked.

"You lost, sweet'art?" a gruff sounding voice suddenly said from her side. She glanced at the man emerging out of the shadows with a scowl. He was a big man and had an ugly, jagged scar running straight across his face, cheek to cheek and over his nose, like someone had tried to cut his head in half at one point. She didn't much like the look of the predatory grin spreading across his face, either.

"I am, actually," she replied with a sweet smile.

Six more men moved out from the shadows to surround her. All of them were well armed and all of them were in matching black armour and yellow cloaks, scarves and belts.

"Well, why doncha come with us? We'll help you, won't we lads?" the scarred man said, his grin widening.

"You're too kind," Neri replied. "I really am in quite a hurry, though."

"What's tha rush, darlin'?" a man said from behind her as he reached out, moving her curls away from her ear. She clenched her jaw and watched the man out of the corner of her eye. "We'll take you nice and slow," he whispered.

She rolled her eyes and stepped away from him.

"Hey now, don't like whatcha see?" the man who had touched her hair asked as he grabbed his crotch and thrusted into his hand.

"Definitely not," she scoffed, repulsed by his crude gesture. She turned, ignoring the man's muttered curses, to look at all of the other men in a circle around her. She started to smirk. "So, what are you? The Yellow Pansies?"

Scar-face snarled. "We're the Saffron Giants!"

Neri laughed. "You sound like a really shit sports team."

All seven of them drew their blades and pointed them at her. "You made a big mistake coming through our part of town tonight, knife-eared bitch."

She snorted—it was always the same with shitheads like this. One moment she was good enough to gang rape, the next she was a bitch for denying them such a thing and insulting their precious pride. Well fuck 'em. She hit every single one of them with an outward wave of force magic, and watched with a satisfied smirk as they all fell back on their arses, some losing hold of their weapons in the process.

"Did you not notice the staff?" she asked, laughing.

She pinned them all to the ground with her magic and watched as they struggled against it, legs kicking and nails grasping at their chests as she increased the power of her spell against them.

She put her boot to scar-face's neck and pushed down on his throat. "Where is The Hanged Man from here?"

"Piss off," he bit out.

She sighed and stepped off of him, then used her magic to throw him up into the air. She let him drop, enjoying with sadistic satisfaction as he screamed on the way back down. She stopped his fall at the last second, with his nose inches from the dirt ground.

"Let's try that again, shall we?"

"Fucking mage-bitch," he spat. "Take the next left! Then follow the stench of ale."

Neri snorted and let the man drop to the ground with a thump. "Not the best set of directions, but I suppose it'll do. Off you all run now," she said as she cut off her magical hold on them all. The men scrambled to their feet and disappeared off into the night with Neri watching them flee with a grin.

An elven woman suddenly slipping out of the shadows a little bit ahead caught Neri's gaze however. She watched the woman approach, a spell already at her lips, magic pooling in her palm and tendrils of it curling around her fingers, but as the woman got closer, Neri could see that she looked just as amused as Neri had at the fleeing men.

"Pietà, late to the party again, I see," the elf said, her accent clearly Antivan. "I always seem to miss out on all the fun around here."

Neri kept her magic coiled around her hand, just in case—she didn't exactly have the best track record with Antivans, especially pretty ones. "I can chase them down, if you like, and let you have at them. They'd probably deserve it."

The smile the elf gave her was nearly feral but her chocolatey brown eyes remained almost chillingly cold. "As enjoyable as that would be, watching them flee like that will have to be enough, I think," she answered.

Neri nodded. "Suit yourself."

The Antivan's head tilted slightly, long silver hair catching in the moonlight with the movement. "You are Neri Surana, are you not? The Slayer of the Archdemon."

"The one and only." If this Antivan was here to cause trouble, that title would give her pause, or so Neri hoped. "And who might you be?"

The stranger smiled a little tightly. "I'm Giselle, if you must know."

"What are you doing out in the streets at this time of night all alone?" Neri asked. She glanced around, checking the shadows. "Assuming you are in fact alone."

Giselle's lips twitched in amusement. "I am. And I could ask you the same question—the streets of Lowtown are hardly a suitable place for a lady, mage or no."

Neri let out a rough snort. "You really are a typical Antivan, you know that, right?"

Brown eyes narrowed at Neri, that amused smile slipping away into something more neutral and unreadable. "The reasons I am out here matter little, the reason I am speaking with you, however, is down to simple curiosity."

"Wanted to see what the Slayer's really like, then?"

"Indeed."

"Well, here I am. Like what you see, amica?"

Giselle's brow arched ever so slightly and Neri was sure there was a quirk at her lips too. "Perhaps." The elf prowled around her, one foot stepping in front of the other like a wolf's walk. Neri watched her carefully, eyeing the shiny silver daggers hanging from the Antivan's back with a clenched jaw. "You speak Antivan?"

"…Some," Neri admitted. She'd spent enough time with rogues to know that spilling details like that to a stranger probably wasn't the best idea. Giselle nodded thoughtfully, finishing her circle around her and stopping a few feet in front of Neri.

Giselle hummed a bit, nodding. "So what are you doing out here all alone? Surely the city's Viscount would not allow such a thing?"

Neri huffed out a laugh. "I doubt it, didn't exactly ask though."

That did have Giselle smiling. "Not a fan of nobles then?"

"Are even nobles a fan of nobles?"

Neri watched the Antivan let out a light, airy laugh with a smile of her own. "Goodness, no—they despise one another."

Neri smiled a bit and scraped her boot along the gravel coated ground. "I'm looking for someone," she said, finally explaining.

"Ah," Giselle said. There was a strange sparkle to the elf's eyes, an almost knowing one and she began to smile slightly. "You wouldn't happen to be looking for another Warden, would you?"

Neri's ears flicked back, attention suddenly piqued. "I…might be. Do you know where I might find one?"

"Mmm," Giselle hummed, her smile widening. "Last I saw of him, he was at The Hanged Man. And it just so happens, that's where I'm heading now as well." She nodded with her head. "It's this way."

"How…convenient," Neri said. At least she seemed to have been right about Anders heading to that tavern, even if he wasn't there now, she'd be able to ask after him. She followed the elf, albeit cautiously with a barrier spell at her lips.

"You don't trust me?" Giselle asked over her shoulder, looking amused once more.

"You're Antivan," Neri replied.

That got a laugh out of the other woman. "Very wise of you."

Even without the elf's country of origin making Neri suspicious of her intentions, this particular elf was armed to the teeth, Neri was coming to realise. She had blades and vials hanging from her belt, more daggers and knives across her thighs, and some even hidden in her boots. Neri had always thought Zevran was absurd for carrying so many different things on him, but this woman outdid even him.

"So, what are you doing in Kirkwall of all places?" Neri asked.

"Does it matter?"

"I…guess not?"

The Antivan nodded stiffly and picked up her pace, leaving Neri to trail behind her, watching the woman's silver hair swishing with each step she took. Her eyes travelled lower, over the tight black leathers Giselle wore and she couldn't help but smirk in appreciation at the view. For someone so terrifying, she certainly had a nice arse.

"I had a job, in Ferelden," Giselle said after a few minutes of silent walking. "Then the Blight happened and I came here."

"Ah." A bitter sort of sadness settled over Neri. The Blight affected so much, so many. "Why not go back to Antiva, then?"

"There is… nothing for me there."

"And there is here?"

"Perhaps."

"You don't miss it – Antiva that is? I always wanted to visit," Neri said a little wistfully.

Chocolate eyes regarded her, flickering over Neri's face, obviously trying to work out her reasoning for the questions.

Apparently having decided Neri was just making conversation, Giselle replied. "I miss… aspects of it, from time to time." Her tone was cautious, but Neri saw something flicker briefly through the elf's dark eyes that just might have been sadness.

Neri hummed, nodding. "I miss Ferelden's flat ground," she replied. "I haven't been there for a while and this city's nothing but steps and hills."

Giselle smiled ever so slightly and flicked her head forward again. "The Hanged Man is not much farther now."

"He's there," Neri said, suddenly – finally – feeling the tug of Anders' taint. She grinned, her heart fluttering with excitement.

"You can… sense him?" Giselle inquired, head tilted with curiosity.

"Oh, yeah. It's a Warden thing."

Her breath hitched as she realised Anders was getting closer – heading for her; he must have sensed her as well. She picked up her pace into a sprint and rounded the corner.

And then there he was, running toward her with a huge grin on his face. She let out a happy squeal and then barrelled right into his arms. He lifted her up, spinning her around and she automatically hooked her legs and arms around him. Her fingers threaded into silky, familiar hair, as their grinning lips touched for the first time in months. It wasn't a sweet kiss—it was all heat and desperation, clumsy and messy, but still filled with so much love. She melted into him, into the familiar feel and taste of him, not wanting to let go of him ever again.

When they finally broke the kiss, they were both breathless, and their foreheads rested together as they caught their breath. His amber eyes were alight with desire and relief and joy and the panted grin across his lips was all she needed to feel safe and happy once more.

"I missed you so bloody much," she laughed out.

"Not as much as I missed you," he replied. "You've been gone for months."

"Yeah, but I was in the Anderfels, everything there reminded me of you," she said, grinning and shaking her head a bit.

He chuckled as he set her down on the ground, his eyes never leaving hers. "Never leave for that long again, you hear?"

"Was that a command?" she asked, smirking. "Because I out rank-"

He cut off her words with another searing kiss, his tongue plunging into her mouth, cupping both sides of her face with the soft hands she had missed so much. Her own slender elven fingers found his hair again and fisted it, tugging him closer still.

He pulled back enough to speak, his hot panted breath caressing her lips. "Never again," he whispered. She nodded, swallowing thickly, her own breaths just as shallow and quick.

She smiled up at him and then wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "I love you," she said, squeezing him. His arms pulled her close, holding her.

"I love you too."

She spun them both around and pushed Anders back against the wall, knocking the breath out of his lungs with the force of her shove. She gave the street they were in a sideways glance, only then realising Giselle was gone. She felt bad for not saying thanks, or goodbye, but as she pressed herself flush against Anders' body, the she-elf was soon forgotten, as Anders' hardness rubbed against her thigh. She devoured his mouth again, standing on tip toes to reach him. She rocked her hips against him, making him hiss against her lips and she smirked as she pulled back to stare up at his hooded and darkened gaze.

"I hope you have a room at The Hanged Man."

He flashed her a grin. "I do. But I've not been the only person waiting for you to arrive."

She frowned. "Oh?" His grin widened and he locked his fingers through hers before he led her toward the tavern.

It was loud and rowdy inside, with people singing and drinking everywhere she looked. She loved taverns like these—as soon as you stepped in through the door it was like everything else was forgotten and all that mattered was the drink in your hand and the company around you. A little pocket of escapist bliss, it was no wonder Anders had ended up here.

He led her through the crowds and up to the stairs. There was amber light from a roaring fire pouring out of the room at the top of them and, inside, Neri could hear several happy sounding voices. One voice in particular caught her attention. She grinned as she reached the doorway and finally spotted the man it belonged to. She raked her eyes over him, over those meaty thighs of his, up over his taut body, until she finally reached his face, her ochre eyes meeting Theo's warm amber ones.

"Theo?" Her grin widened as she rushed forward to hug him.

"Neri!" he cheered as he opened his arms for her.

Their hug was brief but friendly and when Neri pulled back she couldn't help but run her hands over his beard. She had a bit of a beard fetish. Or a hair fetish. It was definitely a hair fetish. "I like this," she purred, making his eyes sparkle with amusement. And then her gaze flicked down to his bare thighs and a smirk spread across her lips. "I definitely like those."

He grinned. "I got them out just for you," he said with a wink. "Anders practically identified me through my thighs," he added, laughing.

She chuckled. "Well, they are rather remarkable."

"Are you two done yet?" another familiar voice groused from behind her. She turned and found Theo's younger brother, Carver, giving her a smile. She grinned and wrapped her arms around his waist – he was way too tall for much else.

"What was your name again?" she asked. Carver hissed and Neri burst out laughing. "Kidding, Carver, kidding." The room was filled with laughter as she pulled back and checked him out. "It's really good to see you again."

His cheeks were a little flushed as he smiled and replied to her. "You too."

"I'm so glad you're here!" Bethany squealed from Carver's side and Neri was pulled into another hug. She grinned against Bethany's tits.

"You've not been nabbed by the Templars. Good," Neri said, meaning it as she pulled back from the hug.

Bethany gave her a weary nod. "We've been careful, but it hasn't been easy." Neri smiled sympathetically at the young mage.

"And where is my hello?" a very familiar voice said. Neri's entire face lit up as she spotted the pirate currently pouting at her.

"Isabela?"

"Hello, sweet thing."

Neri glanced at Anders. He was leaning casually against the door, grinning. She arched a brow at him and his grin widened as he gave her a slight nod. She had no idea how he had found so many people that she knew – but she was glad for it. She turned back to Isabela and pulled the pirate down for a quick snog. Not that Bela was having any of that; when Neri tried to pull back, she wrapped her arms tight around Neri's ass and squeezed it. Neri ended up moaning, and Isabela, being a sneaky rogue, slipped her tongue into Neri's opened mouth. Neri chuffed out a laugh in response and let her hands roam up Bela's back, humming her approval at all of the pirate's delicious curves.

They pulled back a moment later, both a little breathless and Neri grinned. "Was that hello enough?"

Isabela cocked her hip out and rested her hand on it. "I suppose it will have to do, for now," she said.

Neri chuckled. "Anders is all mine tonight, but after that…" she said with a seductive smirk.

Bela's eyes sparkled at that and she seemed to decide that was enough of a promise and took a step back from her, finally removing her hands from Neri's ass.

Neri turned next to look at the table, and the three people sitting at it - one of whom she recognised.

"Neri, I assume you remember Aveline," Theo said, hiding a smirk.

"Of course!" Neri said happily. Then she noticed the amused expression on Aveline's face and the armour she was wearing. "And you're a…guard now," she said.

Aveline's eyes shimmered with mirth. "Acting Guard Captain, actually."

Neri squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment. When she opened her eyes again, she gave Aveline a sheepish grin. "You're the one I ditched earlier."

"I was," Aveline replied, smiling. "The Seneschal nearly had a fit when I told him you'd disappeared." Her smile widened. "I never did like him much though."

Neri chuckled. "Yeah, he seemed pretty douchey."

Aveline got to her feet, smiling in amusement. "I'm glad you found your way down here, even if you did take a while."

Neri laughed. "I got a little lost."

"So that escort might have been useful, then?" Aveline teased.

"Yes, probably," Neri chuckled. "Some very nice gentlemen gave me directions after a little bit of… persuasion."

"Anything I need to know about?"

"Not at all. They've just got some bruised egos, is all."

Aveline grinned, hugging her. "It's good to see you again, Neria."

"Likewise. You've done well to be Acting Guard Captain within two years, haven't you?"

Aveline's freckled cheeks blushed slightly. "It's hardly very impressive when compared to the slaying of an Archdemon…"

Neri laughed. "All I did was stab some dragon in the head. No big deal."

The guard let out a chuff of laughter and Neri grinned.

"An Archdemon is hardly some dragon," a new, deep, voice said. Neri turned to regard the dwarf now walking toward her. Her gaze would have reached his face if it hadn't gotten stuck on all of his chest hair, she was sure. It looked so soft. She had to practically fight her hand to stop it from reaching out and touching it because she was pretty sure that would be weird. Then again, he might have been used to it.

"Varric Tethras at your service. It's an honour to finally meet you, madam."

"Mmm."

He clicked his fingers in front of her. "I'm up here." He let out a soft chuckle. "Don't think I've ever used that one before, Freckles."

She finally dragged her gaze away from his marvellous chest and up to his face, her eyes widening at what she saw. "You have no beard!" she blurted, making him chuckle harder.

"You really were distracted by the chest hair if you're only just realising that now," he said, grinning.

"It's pretty distracting," she admitted sheepishly. "What did you say your name was again?"

He snorted, shaking his head, his copper eyes shining. "Varric Tethras," he said with a dip of his head. "It's a pleasure, I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh? You'll have to tell me what stories you've heard. Most began out as rumours I started—you won't believe the things they turned into."

He blinked up at her. "Shit, you're telling me you started the rumours about yourself, for fun?" He grinned. "That's brilliant. I have to try it."

"Well done, Neri, you just gave our resident story teller a new game to play," Theo said, sighing good-humouredly. "Varric, I swear if you use me again…"

The dwarf held up his hands. "Fear not, Hawke. I'll use Freckles here instead."

"Good," Theo said. "Because the one about my spunk being lucky is just-"

"I didn't start that one, Hawke."

"Oh!" Bela started to giggle. "That one was me," she said still laughing. Theo groaned. "Sorry, sweetie."

"These introductions are taking forever. Just thought I'd mention it," Anders said from the doorway as he tapped his foot impatiently on the ground.

Neri snorted. In fairness though, she was just as eager as he was to get to his room.

"Right," Theo said. "Neri this is Fenris. Fenris, Neri."

The quiet elf still sat at the table gave her a brief nod and she smiled back even as she frowned slightly. Theo gave her a look that said 'I'll explain later' and that was that.

"Well then… it was lovely seeing and meeting you all. Anders and I have a lot of catching up to do," she said, smirking. "Theo, you owe me a fry up, if I recall correctly. Our last one was rather rudely interrupted by a horde of darkspawn."

"I was just about to say the same thing. Come round mine tomorrow morning? I'll knock on Anders' door."

"Sounds great," she said as she headed toward the door and her lover.

"Don't forget the meeting with the nobles in the afternoon, Neri," Aveline said with an apologetic smile, making Neri groan.

"Can't wait," she drawled as she grabbed hold of Anders' hands. She followed him out the door, with one final smile at everyone else. "No talking," she said to Anders as he unlocked his door. "We can do that tomorrow."

He smirked and gave her a nod as he shoved the door open.

The second the door shut behind them, Neri slammed Anders up against it and sealed her lips over his. It was all teeth and tongue, no time for sweet little kisses here, not after they'd been apart for so fucking long. He shoved an impatient thigh between her legs, prying them open easily for him to fit between.

She rode that thigh, pressing herself closer to her lover as their kiss deepened, muffled moans getting swallowed by his mouth. Her hands found his hair, as they always did, slipping through the soft strands and pulling them free of his hair tie. She had missed his silky locks and the way they fell around his face— golden-red strands framing beautiful flushed cheeks. His hair was longer now, and she grabbed handfuls of it as she pulled his head down in order to see her tongue properly plunging into his mouth.

He smelled like elfroot and lemons of all things, she noticed, not something he'd usually smell of but she probably smelled of the sea and rum—differences were inevitable when they'd been apart this long. She breathed him in all the same and he grasped at her, hands splayed across her back, dragging her closer still.

"Maker, I've missed you," he breathed.

She moaned, eagerly kissing him back in agreement. Her staff clattered to the ground, her cloak following it a moment later, then they both started unbuckling her armour, wanting to be rid of it. They both had enough practice with the fitted scale set to know how to get it off her with their eyes closed, and soon pieces of that were falling to the floor too.

She broke their kiss long enough to bite her fingerless glove and tug it off her hand, her lips curling with a smirk at the burnished amber gaze drinking her in. She tossed that glove over her shoulder and pulled the other off before discarding that too. Their lips crashed back together, their rough breaths and ragged moans filling the room as their hands wandered. He shoved her leather leggings down just as she ripped open his shirt and they both gasped as warm hands found newly bared skin. His dug deep into her ass, groping and grabbing, while hers slid up his chest, nails biting into familiar flesh. She shoved his shirt away, freeing shoulders she knew were lightly freckled, and then slipped her hands up his stubbled jaw and back into his hair.

Only her undershirt and smalls remained on her now, and he was just in thin cotton trousers, through which she could feel his twitching cock. She pressed closer to him, rubbing herself against him, making them both shudder.

All remaining control they had snapped.

He lifted her up by her arse, dragging her up his torso, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he spun them both so it was her with her back against the door. He slammed her into it, making her cry out only for hot lips to swallow it down, silencing her with a tongue down her throat. He pressed himself flush to her so she could feel every lean inch of him, his hips rocking against her. She let out a shameless moan as his bulge brushed against her already soaked smalls—Maker she'd missed this, missed him, missed that.

It was rare for her to have height over him but she took full advantage now as she yanked his hair back and shoved her tongue into his gasping mouth. He rocked his hips again and she growled, her impatience getting the better of her.

"Fuck me already," she hissed between kisses.

He chuckled and her core quivered at the sound of that rich and playful laugh. It really had been too fucking long since she'd heard such a wonderful noise.

"Still impatient as ever, I see."

"More so, probably," she admitted with an impish smile.

She could feel his grin as he kissed her. "I know better than to keep you waiting."

He pinned her to the wall, allowing one of his hands to undo the laces of his trousers, freeing himself. He didn't bother removing her smalls, just shoved them to the side and lined himself up with her entrance.

"I'm sorry if I'm not gentle," he growled.

She cried out as he sheathed himself fully inside her, thrusting in so hard the door at her back creaked. It felt so fucking good to have her walls parted, stuffed and fucked like this and she clung to him, arms around his neck, legs around his waist as he pulled back out and drove into her again.

"F-fuck," she hissed as her head lolled back. Anders groaned through his teeth, his slim hips snapping wildly as he slammed into her.

"Never leave me," he breathed out, his hands digging into her ass as his grip on her tightened.

"Never," she half whimpered, half moaned.

She rested her hands on his shoulders in order to properly lift herself up, timing it so that she dropped back down just as his hips slammed up into her. The resultant deeper thrust saw them both crying out and breathing hard, their lips touching briefly for a desperate kiss before they were pulled apart again by their wild thrusts.

A moment later, he started stepping back toward the bed, holding her tight to him and she returned to wrapping her arms around his neck, clinging to him. Anders suddenly stumbled, probably tripping on all of the discarded clothing, and tumbled backwards, with her still in his arms. They ended up sprawled out on the ground with her on top, the fall making his cock thrust right to her back wall. They both groaned from their pile of limbs on the ground and then started to laugh.

"We used to be much better at these fast fucks," he said, snorting.

"We're just a bit out of practice." She grinned as she rocked her hips, watching with a satisfied smirk as his eyes rolled back with a groan. "I'll remind you how it's done, don't worry, love."

He gave her a hungry smile and grabbed hold of her hips. "I always did like your lessons."

She began to move, riding that long cock, sliding up and down it as he guided her movements with the soft hands he had splayed over her hips. She moaned with each thrust as the head of his shaft pushed past her sweet spot, rubbing it just enough to make her body shudder and slowly push her toward what would be her first orgasm of the night. Anders too didn't look to be lasting much longer at their furious pace, not with how long it had been for the both of them. Not that it really mattered; they were Wardens, they had the stamina to go again and again and again…

Her hands flew to her hair, gripping her curls tightly as she rocked and rolled her hips, riding him and impaling herself on that long steely shaft over and over. The cries falling from her lips were loud enough to drown out the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, and they were definitely loud enough for others at The Hanged Man to hear, not that she cared— she wasn't about to let anything get in the way of fucking the man she loved.

Anders looked incredible below her, his hair fanning out around his head, his cheeks flushed, his chest sweaty and the muscles of his arms trembling where they gripped her hips. His mouth was open, his amber eyes near-black with desire and his panted groans were only adding to the fires igniting in her core.

He moved one of his hands to her aching cunt, letting his long healer's fingers slide over her swollen clit. Even before he cast the spell, she knew what was coming. The electricity sparked out from those long fingers, hitting her clit and skittering across her folds.

She screamed, cumming on the spot. Her convulsing walls were enough to drag him over with her so that they were both crying out through their releases together. The thick ropey seed covering her inner walls in hot spurts made her cum again, so violently she collapsed down onto him, quivering.

Anders wrapped his arms around her, his breath ragged as he stroked her back. She smiled up at him, red-faced and sweaty but deliriously happy. And that smile turned into a smirk as his cock twitched, still hard where it was buried inside her. He grinned at her.

"Let's try to end up in the bed this time."


	26. Catching Up

* * *

 

Neri awoke aching and she smiled. She had missed that ache more than she cared to admit. Actually, that wasn't quite right. She had complained about it constantly. How much she missed sex. How much she missed Anders. How much she missed sex with Anders. She'd probably driven Arietta and the others absolutely bonkers on their little road trip to the Anderfels.

She opened her eyes, stretching slightly, her smile widening at the arm draped over her waist. Anders was curled up next to her, his face just a few inches from her own. She really had missed waking up with him, had missed how beautiful he looked without any worry lines marring his forehead, had missed his sleepy mumbles and the flutter of his eyelids when he started to stir, just as he was doing now.

He woke properly a moment later, his eyes cracking open and finding hers immediately. The fond smile he gave her melted her heart a bit and she couldn't help but lean in and kiss those softly smiling lips of his.

"Morning," she mumbled.

"Mmm. Sleep well, love?"

"Hard not to after that work out last night," she laughed lightly, her eyes brightening playfully.

He smirked. "I missed tiring you out."

A grin lit up her face. "We've still got a lot of catching up to do…" she said as she pressed herself closer to him, finding him hard and ready to go once more. He inhaled a rough breath through his nose and wrapped his arms around her.

"We really do."

 

* * *

 

Neri slipped on her leggings and shirt, finally sated enough to pull away from Anders' tantalizing and addictive grasp. She pulled her curls out from under her shirt's collar and then turned back to look at Anders, grinning. He was still sprawled out on the bed, his hands behind his head, his bare skin flushed and sweaty, and an equally big smile curving his lips too.

There were a million things she wanted to ask him, a million things they ought to be discussing, but one thing in particular was bugging her right now.

"So, why do you smell so strongly of lemons and elfroot? And those are just scents I can make out. I swear I can smell other herbs on you as well."

Anders let out a chuff of air through his nose. "It's the latest trend in Orlais. I thought I'd try it out, see if I couldn't attract the ladies with it."

She snorted and smacked him with a pillow. "Well it worked, here I am. Now what's the real reason?"

He snickered, but relented. "I've been healing people. In Darktown. It's just a small clinic that I, Bethany and some others help out at."

"Really?" She tilted her head, trying not to look too surprised—he had always been a good healer and very good with his hands, and helping people was kind of his thing when he wasn't focused on her. Still, she'd just expected him to lay low, drink and have a bit of fun while waiting for her. But he was…making a difference instead. She smiled softly. "That's… new."

He scoffed. "Yeah, even surprised myself by agreeing to help out."

She gave him a slightly teasing look. "Isn't Darktown dangerous, what with the lack of light and all?"

He let out a snort of laughter, eyes shining up at her. "Very," he said with mock seriousness. "Most of the injuries I treat are stubbed toes from people fumbling around in the pitch blackness. Very life threatening." She snickered. "Despite the name, it's not so bad. Smells a bit ripe, but you get used to that."

"Gross," she said, crinkling her nose. "Is it safe though? From thugs, Templars, giant rats?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "Has been so far. Most people know not to mess with a Warden. Plus Varric pulled some strings for us, got us some protection, I think."

"Huh. I'm not used to generous dwarves."

Anders nodded, grinning a bit. "Varric is one of a kind and absolutely nothing like Oghren."

Neri gave him a dramatic head roll. "Such a shame, who am I supposed to prank now?"

"Everyone else seems to use Carver," Anders replied, his amber eyes glistening with amusement.

"Poor Carver," Neri laughed. She knelt on the edge of the bed, her feet hanging off the side. "Will you give me a tour of the clinic later? I'd like to see it."

"I'll do you one better," he said, smiling a little crookedly. "I'll take you behind the scenes too. A proper VIP tour of the place."

"Well, I am the slayer of the Archdemon, I'd expect no less," she giggled.

He pulled her forward, into his arms and breathed her in. "Mmm. You know you smell of salt air and rum, mostly? But there are strange spices too, ones I don't think I've ever smelled before."

She blushed. "That would be because we went through a Nevarran spice market on our way back from Weisshaupt and I may have sprayed Max with perfume. And he may have dumped an entire bottle on my head in retaliation."

Anders laughed. "That seems a bit extreme of Max."

"In his defence, it was vile perfume and I got it in his eye, too." She smiled fondly. "It turned into a full on perfume spritzing battle after that. Arietta and Rafael got caught in the crossfire and suddenly it was Max and me versus them. Mages versus rogues. We lost horribly."

Anders chuckled, shaking his head. "That's hardly surprising," he laughed. He wrapped his arms tight around her "So, minus the perfume war you started, how was the trip to the Anderfels?"

She groaned, nuzzling into him. "My horse was an arsehole, I told him as much constantly. My dog was ridiculous—never in my life have I seen so many soggy boots. I don't even know where he kept finding them! But apparently I just had to carry them otherwise he barked non-stop at us. The weather was mercurial. One day we'd have rain and mosquitos, the next we'd have blistering sunshine. And Anderfellan sandstorms suck—the desert was just plain miserable. And Weisshaupt was no better, really."

He gave her a sympathetic squeeze. "So the Wardens weren't pleased that Arietta let the Architect live, I take it?"

"Nope. They fear a double Blight and having him still alive complicates things, I guess."

"A double Blight," he echoed. "Could that really happen?"

Neri shrugged. "Well, all it takes is for darkspawn to reach the two remaining prisons at the same time, so…" She sighed, letting her fingers trail over the muscles of his abdomen. "They were actually happy that the Blight in Ferelden happened because that meant there wouldn't be a triple Blight to worry about. Shitdicks. And, like I said yesterday, being surrounded by so many Ander people made me think of you, constantly."

"Terribly sorry about that." He threaded his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand softly. "You could just call me by my real name, you know."

Neri glanced up at him, brows arched. "I don't know your real name. You've never told me it."

The corner of his mouth lifted in an easy smile. "You never really asked."

"That was yours," she said firmly. "Something the Templars couldn't take from you. I wasn't going to ask that of you."

His eyes softened at the edges. "I would have told you, though."

She gave him a slightly cheeky look. "Does that mean you'll tell me now?"

His eyes sparkled and she immediately knew he wouldn't. "No, but you can try to guess it."

She groaned and slumped against the wall with him. "You and your bloody games. Fine. But if I guess it correctly, you have to tell me I'm right."

"Deal. You won't guess it though."

"We'll see about that," she said, smirking. "Manfred?"

He looked at her incredulously, then burst out laughing. "No!"

"Wernher?"

"Maker, Neri. No."

"Meinhard?"

He cracked up, shaking his head no.

She grinned. "Knut?"

He laughed hard again. "Maker, do you only know terrible Ander names?"

"Well, it isn't much fun knowing the normal, boring ones, is it?" He rolled his eyes but his lips were curved. "This could go on for hours, give me a clue," she moaned.

"What kind of clue?"

"The first letter?"

"No, that narrows it down too much."

"Fine. First or second half of the alphabet?"

He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. "First."

"Ambros? Adolf? Carsten?"

He looked at her and for a moment she thought she'd got it, then he shook his head. "That was my father's name."

"Carsten?" She shuffled closer to him, leaning her head on his shoulder, their hands still twined between them. "You never speak of your family."

"What is there to say about them? My father cast me away as soon as he saw what I was. My mother begged him not to hand me over, but he called the Templars anyway."

Anders started thumbing the pillow she had thrown at him just moments ago and she realised it was his mother's pillow. She winced.

"I'm surprised you didn't leave that in Amaranthine."

"I wanted it with me. It smells like you."

"Oh."

"This little thing reminds me of the two most important women in my life," he said quietly, a small smile at his lips.

"I'm glad you have that," she said. "I still wish I knew more about my parents. I only know that they were probably mages. It's not very much to go on."

"They must have been called Surana, though," he pointed out, "for you to get that as your last name."

"Yeah. Irving checked the records for me, but never found anything." She looked up at him. "Is he okay? What exactly happened at the Tower?"

Anders let out a rough sigh. "Let's see. It started with me giving a truly fascinating lecture on darkspawn magics. Then Sol and I talked for a bit, I was actually due to leave shortly when the first of the three explosions went off. Everything shook. At first we had no idea what it was…then the smoke started pouring down from upstairs."

"Fuck. I can't even imagine…"

He nodded glumly. "Sol rushed the door, wanting to help the people we could hear screaming above, but a fiery blast sent her flying backwards. I healed her up, told her to go help the apprentices on the floors below us and then I…went up the stairs, into the smoke-filled floors."

Neri hissed in a breath. "You could have been killed, Anders."

He swallowed a little thickly. "I know. But I could hear people, I had to try to help them." She nodded, brows furrowed a bit. She didn't like hearing just how close to death he could have come. "I saved Finn and some others before finally finding Irving. He was buried under rock up in the Harrowing chamber. The floor was giving out and there was a gaping hole on one side of the chamber. By the time I reached Irving and freed him from the rubble, the Tower was giving way. We were still inside it when the top half sheared off and crashed into the lake."

"Maker," Neri breathed, her chest tight.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I managed to get Irving out of the water, barely. His heart stopped on the beach but I saved him before Rylock and the other Templar renegades kidnapped me and murdered the Acting Knight Commander." He shook his head, teeth grit. "Greagoir and Sol saved me, and then Justice and Nathaniel saved them."

"That's just…insane. I can't believe any of that actually happened. I do…but I just…"

"I know. I saw it all happen and I still can't actually believe the Tower's gone."

She nodded sadly, hugging him tightly. "And then Justice was killed getting you to a ship?"

"Yeah. The nobles had been spreading slander among the common folk. They turned against us all so quickly."

"Fickle assholes."

Anders sighed a bit. "Justice, he… he asked me to host him before all of that happened."

Neri sat up straight, eyes wide as she stared at him. "He wanted to possess you?"

Anders snorted. "Merge, possess me, work together, the whole shebang. I said no because you were more important to me."

"Good!" she cried out, scowling. "Fuck knows what would have happened if you joined with a spirit! You'd probably end up glowing blue or something, like Kristoff's corpse always did."

"At least I'd be a good night light," he mused.

"I'm not sure I could love you with a glowing blue dick."

Anders let out a burst of laughter. "What happened to you liking any and all cocks?" he asked teasingly.

She flashed him a toothy grin. "You're right. I'd probably like that too." Her grin softened a little as she stared at him. "I'm glad you're you and okay," she said seriously. She shook her head a bit, amusement curling her lips. "I really can't leave you alone for five minutes before you become a damsel in distress, can I?"

He sighed heavily, exasperated like he'd heard it before. "I am not a damsel in distress!"

Neri grinned. "Sol told you the same thing, didn't she?"

He glared at her and Neri laughed.

"Theo should be here soon," she said a moment later. "Do you want to join us for breakfast?"

"Mmm. That does sound good," he said. "I'm not sure though, it's already late morning and I should probably go see if anyone needs me at the clinic."

She stared at him, smiling lopsidedly. So much had changed in the few months they'd been apart. Anders seemed more… considerate of others now than he ever had been. More willing to act, too. Maybe they'd both finally had enough of the state of things and had decided to bring about change. Anders was doing it one person at a time, while Neri had her eyes set on the bigger things.

"What?" he asked, obviously noting her odd look.

"It's weird seeing you like this. Working, for a change," she said, smile twitching into something teasing.

He scoffed. "I worked plenty hard with the Wardens. Gave them my blood, sweat, even my eyebrows to them!" he countered.

She grinned, lifting her hand to stroke the sandy brown hairs. "And I am so relieved those grew back."

"You and me both," he muttered.

"You're just sour because of the mono-brow I drew on."

"I looked ridiculous!"

She snickered, shoulders shaking and flopped back down against him. She trailed her fingers along his arm as she stared up at him. "So, you're really not coming to breakfast?"

He shook his head. "I'll let you all catch up. Beth and Carver usually head to the clinic around midday so you can join them and I'll give you that tour."

"Alright. Just… don't turn into Arietta."

He snorted, hard. "As if I'd ever become a workaholic."

There was a knock at the door then and Neri hopped off the bed, grinning. "That will be Theodore."

"You're just going to open it while I'm sprawled out naked on the bed?" he asked, smirking.

She laughed and glanced at him over her shoulder. "I assumed you'd cover yourself up. Either way, I doubt Theo will mind."

"Oh! I definitely need to tell you about my snog with him."

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned, wide-eyed. "You snogged him!?"

Anders grinned. "Bela made us."

"Fuck. And I missed that?"

A wicked smirk spread across Anders' lips. "We'll have to give you a repeat performance some time."

Neri groaned. "You really will."

Theo knocked again and Neri opened the door just as Anders flung the blanket over himself. Theo was casually leaning against the doorframe, a leg crossed over the other, smiling brightly. She ran her eyes over him, smirking as she took in his meaty thighs and muscled carves and biceps. She really had a thing for rogue physique.

"Morning," he cheerfully greeted, his eyes briefly flicking to where Anders was still lying on the bed. "Well, I can see that one of you is ready for a rather late breakfast. You not joining us, Anders?"

"I thought I'd try the whole healing people thing today," he shrugged.

Theo smiled and nodded. "My sister and brother will probably pop by after brunch." His gaze returned to Neri's. "Let's go then, before it gets cold."

"See you later, love," Neri said with a bright smile thrown over her shoulder to Anders. He grinned and waved her off.

The Hanged Man looked very different in the light of day—now she could really see what a shithole it was. She grinned as she weaved her way through the tables and chairs with Theo. She felt at home in places like this, oddly enough. But she supposed they'd soon be heading to Hightown; that's where Theo's family home was, if she recalled correctly.

"So, where in Hightown are you living?" she asked, hoping it wasn't too near the Keep. The last thing she wanted was to get pounced on by stuffy nobles or the Keep's staff. It was bad enough that she needed to go there later in the day for… nobley things.

Theo sighed heavily as he pushed The Hanged Man's door open. A cold wind hit her full in the face, blowing her hair back and wiping through the thin cotton of her clothes. "We're not," he said.

"Oh?"

"Our uncle, Gamlen, sold the estate to pay off his debts," he muttered. "So we're stuck with him, in Lowtown."

"Oh," she said a little sadly. "That's a bit shite."

He laughed. "Tell me about it." He shook his head and ruffled his hair. "We had to do two years servitude with a mercenary group just to get into the city with all the refugees coming here during the Blight."

"Seriously?" she asked, brows arched. He nodded. "So the servitude's over now?"

"Yes, thank fuck," he said in a bitter rush. "Maker willing, we'll only be with our uncle a little longer. We're working on something to improve our lot. I'll… tell you about it later."

"Alright."

"What about you? Anders said there was trouble with darkspawn in Amaranthine and then you got called up to the Anderfels?"

"Yep. Was a right shit show. Naturally, I can't talk about any of that though, Warden secrecy and all."

"Of course," he said, trying to stay serious.

She sighed, her lips twitching into an exasperated smile. "Anders already told you all about it, didn't he?"

Theo chuckled. "He mentioned a few details…"

"He always did suck at keeping secrets."

Theo flashed her a grin. "To be fair, Varric has this natural knack for pulling stories out of people. I really don't know how he does it."

She shook her head, smiling. "You been friends with Varric long?"

"Not really. We met him just after our servitude ended."

"And that elf, Fenris?"

There was a twitch of a smile at Theo's lips at the mention of the elf's name, before he cleared his throat. "About the same. I uhh, should mention… he will be at breakfast today. He's sort of staying with us at the moment."

She smirked. "Is he now?"

Theo blushed. "It's not like that." Her smirked widened. "Really!" he laughed. "His house was broken into. Varric's got people repairing it."

"He… has a house?"

Theo snorted. "He sort of commandeered it."

Neri laughed.

"I do need to warn you," he said as he stopped in the street and faced her. "Fenris is an ex-slave from Tevinter."

"Bloody fuck." She hadn't been expecting that. It wasn't exactly often you met many ex-slaves. She doubted most made it this far south before being caught or killed. Most probably never even thought about escaping enough to actually do it.

"Yeah… He's not the biggest fan of mages, Neri."

"Right, of course he isn't," she said, shaking her head. "So, no throwing my magic about and declaring how absolutely awesome I am then?" She smiled crookedly.

Theo chuckled. "That would be for the best, yes. I don't think you want him to put his hand through your chest." She blinked at him. "He does that."

"Okay then."

"I'm sure he won't. With you. He hasn't to Bethany, yet. Although he did do that to Anders…"

"What!?"

Theo laughed nervously and rubbed at the back of his neck. "He was having an off-day."

"Fucking hell, Theo," she laughed. "I don't usually go for a bit of casual murder with my bacon and eggs."

He snorted roughly. "Come on, it'll be fine. He just might glare at you, a lot, almost all the time. I'm sure he'll soon realise you're nothing like those Magisters though." She nodded even as she swallowed thickly and pulled down the sleeve of her shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late, I know. And short. Sorry! Had to cut this one in half as it was getting looong. But this is the shorter of the two halves. So the actual breakfast will be next time. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the love and support. You guys are seriously the best and I love you dearly. <333


	27. Finding Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laaaate. Sorry! Thank you for your patience, all. And I still need to reply to comments but I figured posting was more of a priority. I'll make sure to respond to everything tomorrow once on my laptop. 
> 
> Sorry for any quirking formatting, posting from my phone!

 

Theo led them up a set of steps and Neri stared up at the… well it wasn't quite a home, before her.

"Welcome to our hovel," he said, laughing. That was the word.

"It's lovely," she said, giving him an amused look.

He snorted and opened the door, leaving her to follow in after him. As soon as she poked her head out from behind him, she could see five sets of bright eyes locking onto her. She quickly took in the fancy shirts and dresses they were all wearing—it looked like they'd all dressed up just for her, except for Theo and Fenris who had both opted to stay in their armour. It made her feel rather underdressed, seeing as she was only in a shirt and leggings. She didn't have much time to feel self-conscious though, before there was a Leandra sweeping her into a big hug.

"Neri!" she cried happily, hugging her tightly. "It is so lovely to see you again!"

"And you, Leandra," Neri said cheerfully, hugging her back just as tight.

"You cut your beautiful hair," she pointed out as she ran her fingers through Neri's thick curls.

"I didn't have much of a choice after the Deep Roads," Neri laughed. "Miserable place, that." The Hawke siblings all seemed to share a look with one another that had Neri frowning just a bit.

"You look beautiful, all the same," Theo's mother said, smiling brightly.

Neri chuckled awkwardly. "Thank you."

"This is my uncle, Gamlen," Theo said with a nod at the older man standing against the wall. She smiled, noticing how he'd obviously pulled out an old dress shirt from some forgotten pile of clothes if the wrinkles on it were anything to go by.

"How'd you do?" she asked, still smiling.

"Well, thanks," he said a little gruffly. "So, you're the one who killed the bleedin' Archdemon then?"

"I am. I'm guessing I'm not what you expected?"

"Little thing like you? No, 'spose not. Not that it matters much, dead is dead."

"That it is," she said with a grin.

"It's nice to meet you," he said. "Sorry the house isn't more-"

"Please," Neri interrupted. "I'm just glad I didn't have to trek it back up all those steps."

Gamlen let out a chuff of laughter, nodding.

Neri glanced at the other Hawkes and found them all looking rather surprised about something but they soon snapped out of it, when Leandra clapped her hands. "Shall we eat?"

There were murmurs of agreement and they all headed to the table to sit down. Neri made sure to keep her distance from Fenris who, so far, had remained watching her through thin green slits, arms folded across his chest. She couldn't help but notice the markings covering his neck and forearms. It looked like the Dalish vallaslin but she had a bad feeling that it wasn't. Theo sat next to Fenris, leaving Carver and Bethany to sit either side of Neri, and Gamlen and Leandra next to each of them. There were plates in the middle of the table filled with rashers of bacon, piles of eggs and various other foods, all of which made Neri's stomach growl.

Theo took his seat, still not quite believing that Neri was sitting opposite him. It had been years since she had saved their life and them hers. Her golden curls were shorter and… thicker now—they seemed to be growing outwards instead of down. She had more freckles and a bit of a tan now too, much different to the sickly pale mage they'd met at the start of the Blight. She also looked happier than she had done before, although that probably wasn't hard given how miserable she'd been back in Lothering, thinking her entire Order had just been murdered.

There was a weariness to her though as well, a look in her ochre eyes, one Theo knew well. It was the sort that you only felt when you had simply had enough. It was written on her face in the worry lines that never quite left her forehead and the tenseness in her shoulders. He wasn't surprised to see it there given everything she must have faced these last two years but it still made him a little sad to see it. Of all the people who deserved a break, it was her and the Hero Queen of Ferelden.

He had to admit though, he was nervous how she would react to learning of their planned expedition to the Deep Roads. Anders had warned them yesterday that Neri wouldn't like that idea at all. He'd warned them himself, explaining in detail how disgusting the Deep Roads were, but it hadn't changed any of their minds about going down there. They needed that dragon's hoard, but Neri was apparently likely to be much more volatile about such news.

"Before we tuck in, I just wanted to say what an honour it is having the Slayer of the Archdemon here with us," his mother said. "The Blight is over, my children are out of servitude… These are good days."

Everyone nodded. "Thanks for having me," Neri said with a dip of her head, a small grateful smile touching her lips. "There were a few times, during the Blight, that I wasn't sure if I'd ever get to see any of you again. I'm glad that's not the case."

"As are we," his mother replied, smiling.

"So, how long you sticking around for?" Carver asked as he tucked into his food.

Neri let out a small huffed laugh. "Not long, I fear. I've got… Warden business to take care of," she said as a dark look passed across her face.

"That's not ominous at all," Theo said, watching her closely. He could feel Fenris tense next to him, apparently having seen the same dark look flit across her freckled features.

Neri snorted. "Wardens do that, a lot. We like to be all mysterious and foreboding." She shrugged. "Ari and me were away for three months. One of our Wardens was murdered while we were gone, Anders nearly too. There's just a lot of loose ends I want tied up, or utterly destroyed," she added with a slight narrowing of her eyes.

"Anders told us about Justice, at least a little," Bethany explained. "I'm sorry he died."

"Me too." Neri sighed. "I never did find out if spirit's feel sexual attraction toward anything," she joked.

Theo snorted and nearly choked on his eggs. He found Neri grinning at him when he looked back up and he gave her a crooked smile. "You didn't seriously ask it that, did you?"

"All the time," she laughed. "He started ignoring me."

Theo laughed along with his siblings and uncle, while mother smiled in exasperation. Worryingly, Fenris looked tenser than ever.

"You must have a lot of stories," Bethany said, eyes sparkling just like Varric's did when he wanted the dirty details on something.

Neri smirked a little wickedly. "I do… Most aren't suitable to tell while eating, though, and the rest are Warden secrets."

"Darn."

Neri snickered and took her first mouthful of food. Theo noticed Bethany and mother watching, waiting for her reaction. They were the ones who had been cooking all morning, over cooking in truth. There was enough food here to feed half of Lowtown, but Anders had gone and said how Warden appetites were huge and Bethany and mother had been in panic mode ever since, wanting to make sure the Slayer of the Archdemon didn't starve to death because of them. Neri moaned and both his mother and sister smiled.

"This is fucking delicious," Neri said around her mouthful as she went to stuff more food in. "I've been stuck on a diet of rum, salted meat and hard bread all week so this is the best thing ever. Then again, I'm easy to please," she added with a wink thrown at Theo. He snorted and Gamlen guffawed into the back of his hand. "Sorry," Neri said, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Spending a week with sailors is apparently a bad idea."

"Oh, don't worry, dear. I've heard much worse in this household," mother said with pointed looks at Theo and Gamlen.

Neri smirked, her cheeks still slightly red. "So, what about you lot? What are you doing now?"

Theo glanced at his siblings, then at Fenris. He wasn't sure if he should wait to tell her about the expedition or if it was better to just rip it off like a band aid. Neri was frowning now, obviously having picked up on their shared looks. Theo sighed. Band aid it was.

"We're preparing for an expedition," he explained. "Varric's brother, Bartrand, is organising it."

"All of the treasure we find should set us up for life," Carver added.

"And then we can buy back the Amell estate," Bethany finished.

Neri hummed around her mouthful. "Sounds good, almost too good. Where in the Void is the expedition going that would have that much treasure?"

Theo winced, bracing himself. "The Deep Roads."

Neri nearly choked on her food and she coughed loudly. "The what?"

"Surely you are familiar with-" Fenris said dryly, sounding a tad annoyed. Theo gave him a look, but it was Neri who cut him off.

"Of course I know what they are! They're fucking dangerous is what."

"We need the estate in order to keep Bethany safe," Theo argued. "This is the only way for us to afford it."

"Bull-fucking-shit," Neri growled. She glanced at mother a little shyly, her expression apologetic then she wiped her lips with her napkin and pushed her chair back from the table. "Can I speak to you outside, Theo?" she said as she got to her feet. "Excuse us," Neri said with a look to mother before she headed to the door.

Theo sighed roughly. "Save some food. We might be a while," he muttered as he too got to his feet.

"Be careful," Fenris whispered. "An angered mage is-"

"Fen, not now," Theo hissed quietly as he passed him and followed Neri to the door. He closed it behind them, swallowing thickly as she stormed down the steps then waited a few paces away at the bottom, her arms folded and a deep scowl on her face.

He approached her, hands up. He was about to speak but she got there first. "What the fuck are you thinking? The Deep Roads? Seriously?"

"We need that estate, need the coin," he said. "The Merchant's Guild is running the whole thing, so it's not like it will just be a few of us going down there."

"Doesn't matter," she said, nose crinkling. "Shit always goes wrong in the Deep Roads. Every fucking time."

"We've fought darkspawn before, Neri, we can handle it," he said patiently. "Besides, there will be less of them down there after a Blight."

"It's not just darkspawn down there, Theo," she snapped, shaking her head angrily. "And since when did you become an expert on darkspawn?"

He sighed roughly. "The Guild wouldn't fund this if they didn't think the risks were worth it," he said, trying to keep a lid on his temper. "It wouldn't have been my first choice but-"

"It shouldn't be a choice at all! It's fucking idiotic."

"Well, we don't have any other options, Neri. I am sick of living here, with my uncle. I am sick of worrying about Beth. I am sick of my mother being sad and wistful. If this is how I get them that estate and happiness, then I'd risk anything for it," he said stubbornly. "It will just be me going down there, not Carver or Bethany."

"You don't need to go at all," she bit out. "I can give you coin. I can tell the Viscount to give you the fucking estate or have the Crown of Ferelden buy-"

Theo shook his head, his jaw clenched. "I won't accept your charity. This is my family; I will provide for them."

"Oh, stuff your pride up your arse, Theodore. It shouldn't matter where the coin comes from, just that they're safe."

He gripped his scarf tightly. "I promised my father that I would be the one to keep them safe, to provide for them. I won't accept handouts, not from you, not from anyone. And even if you got us the estate, we'd still be poor. We need the expedition's success and fortunes to help make a name for ourselves."

"I think being mates with the Slayer of the Archdemon will help plenty with that, you stubborn tit."

He exhaled heavily. "Look, the expedition is happening whether you like it or not. It's something I need to do and…" He glanced at her, eyes softening, "it would be a lot easier to complete with two Wardens assisting us."

Neri's face paled, going white as a sheet. "Anders… is he?"

"He was considering it, said we'd need a healer if we were really set on this 'foolish, stupid, reckless, piece of shit idea of ours'. But he said he'd defer to you."

She let out a rough breath. "Bloodyfuck."

"We'd be a lot safer with you with us," he said softly, "but it's okay, I'll understand if you can't, or don't want to do it." Neri just stared at the ground, teeth grit and Theo bit his lip. "We could do with some maps of the Deep Roads though, were hoping you might have some for this area. It would make picking and finding a suitable entrance that much easier."

Neri ran her hands through her hair, fisting the curls tightly as she stared at the ground, thinking something over. Her silence made Theo feel like he needed to fill it.

"Bartrand, he has a pretty good idea of just where this dragon's hoard-"

"Oh it's a fucking dragon's hoard is it?" she said, looking utterly incredulous. "Andraste's sweet cunt cream, Theo."

He let out a breath of laughter at her blaspheme. "I never said it would be easy, but providing for my family never has been. This isn't anything new for me."

"It's entirely new! Do you know how hard it is being underground for prolonged periods of time? How much your eyes sting from the magma flows or torch lights, and from the noxious fumes down there? Do you know how hard it is to sleep with the sounds of Deepstalkers skittering around in the tunnels? How thick and moist the air gets sometimes? And that's not even considering the cave-ins, tainted tunnels, darkspawn, giant venomous spiders, and other horrors that could be down there. And now you're saying there might be a dragon to fight as well."

"We'll deal with it. With all of it, whatever the Deep Roads throw our way," he said firmly. "I have to succeed, for them."

Neri stared him down, searching his face for something, maybe some sign that she could get him to back down. Her eyes narrowed, apparently having found it.

"What if you don't come back? What happens to them then? To your sister? Mother?"

He grit his teeth. "I'll leave enough money for them to get a boat back to Ferelden," he explained. "I won't leave them to rot in this city."

"Why not just go back to Ferelden right now?"

"Because mother wants that estate back, they all do. We came here for that estate. Risked that deal with Flemeth all to get here." Neri's gaze darkened at the mention of the witch's name and she glared down at the ground.

"Have you done what she asked yet?"

Theo frowned. "No. Not yet. Forgot about it, to be honest." He pulled the amulet out from under his scarf and examined it. "Still wearing it though."

Neri scoffed. "I wouldn't, if I were you." She sighed heavily, shoulders slumping. Her gaze returned to his. "You're a stubborn idiot, Theodore Hawke."

He smiled a little. "I know… So, what does this mean? Will you help?"

Neri nodded, albeit reluctantly. "You haven't given me much of a choice there, asshole. I can't very well let you go into the Deep Roads alone—I'd never forgive myself if something did happen to you."

He grinned. "Thank you!" He went to pull her into a hug but she held up her hand, stopping him.

"I'm still pissed off, you prick," she said with a scowl. "And I don't have any maps on me. I'll have to ask Ari to send them over, or something. And one more thing, I want to speak with this Bartrand fella, make sure he's organising this whole thing properly."

"He'll love that," Theo laughed.

"I don't give a fuck, honestly. He wants my maps, he will bloody well listen to me."

Theo nodded. "No arguments here. What about your… Warden business that you needed to take care of?"

Neri sighed a bit. "It was in the Deep Roads anyway." She shrugged one shoulder, looking a bit tense all of a sudden. "Best not to talk about that, though," she said and quickly glanced at his home. "We should head back inside anyway, before the food gets eaten or goes cold."

She started to head toward the steps but Theo grabbed a hold of her arm. She stared up at him, one brow arched. "Thank you, Neri. Really." She slumped a bit and gave him a small nod. He smiled and let go of her arm and they headed up the steps together. "I guess this means you'll be staying in Kirkwall for a while longer then?"

"Seems that way, yeah," she replied with a sideways glance at him. "Who knows? Maybe it's for the best. I was going to rush into my Warden business as soon as I got Anders safely back to Ferelden, but now… maybe I can plan things out."

"That sounds good – planning is always good."

"Yeah, until the plans go wrong, like they almost always do."

He smiled slightly. "Sounds like you just need better plans," he teased. "If there's anything I can help with-"

"There's not." She gave him a sad smile and pushed the door open.

He followed her in, kicking the door shut behind him. "Well, you're welcome to follow me around while we raise money for the expedition, if you fancy a break from planning your own stuff," he said.

"You have to raise money for the expedition in order to then get a load of treasure?" she asked.

"Yeah. We need fifty sovs."

She snorted as she pulled the coin pouch off of her belt. "Here's ten," she said as she tossed it at him. Theo caught the heavy purse and stared down at it in awe. "Consider it my investment into the expedition."

"Does that mean…?" Bethany asked, excitedly.

"She's in," Theo said, nodding, still in shock.

"Not happily," Neri added. "It's still a stupid as shit idea."

"Well, it was Carver's idea, so…" Theo said, grinning cheekily. Neri guffawed as she sat back in her chair, her laughter only increasing at the scowl now etched into Carver's face.

Theo settled back down at the table next to Fenris, glad that, despite their arguing, Neri was going to join him on the expedition. Having her—the Slayer of the Archdemon—with them was huge. Not only was she the most experienced with darkspawn out of them all, she also had experience fighting dragons, should they come across one. And if they had Anders, too, they'd be in an even better position. He knew his siblings wouldn't be pleased with his decision to leave them behind, but he couldn't risk anything happening to them down there. It was his job to get them the fortune, to fix this shitty situation because they never would have been in this mess if it weren't for him.

With a slightly hopeful smile, he tucked back into his food.

…

Neri poked her belly again, groaning. She was absolutely stuffed full. She'd known she was a goner as soon as Leandra brought out the pancake stack. She'd eaten almost all of them, with everyone else preferring to have some cake. Leandra had kept saying please finish them off, we won't eat them all. And so she had. Because the pancakes were delicious and she was weak. Only now she was paying for it. She'd hoped the walk to Darktown would help, that she'd feel better. But nope. Now she had a stitch, too.

Bethany giggled at her side. "Would you prefer it if we rolled you the rest of the way?"

"I'm actually round enough for you to do that," Neri replied, chuckling. Her laugh turned into a groan as the stabbing pain of her stitch hit her full force. "That last pancake was a mistake," she grumbled.

"More like the last ten," Carver muttered.

Neri scowled at him.

"We've all done it," Bethany said. "You should see how bad Theo gets around fruit cake. When he was younger, he once snuck into the kitchen at night to eat some. We found him on the floor the next morning covered in crumbs, lying on his back and groaning. No cake was left. Father had to use actual healing magic on him," she laughed.

Neri giggled. "Speaking of Theo…" She glanced at both the twins, a smirk twitching at her lips. "What's the deal with him and Fenris?"

Bethany's eyes lit up and a big smile bloomed at her lips. "You noticed that?"

"If you mean the fact that Theo obviously wants to fuck his brains out, then yeah, I noticed. Hard not to."

Bethany grinned. "He's got such a crush."

"Not that he does anything about it," Carver added with a roll of his eyes.

Neri weaved her way through a few crowds in the market, glad that she didn't look like some famous dragon slayer thanks to what she was wearing. "Why doesn't he do anything? Because of Fenris' past?"

Bethany shook her head. "I mean, that's part of it, I'm sure. But it's mostly just him," she explained. "He hasn't dated anyone for years."

Neri frowned. Considering how hot Theo was…that was surprising. "Why hasn't he?"

The twins shared a look, with Carver giving his sister a slight nod. "His boyfriend was killed," Bethany said. "He's not let anyone close since."

"Shit." She chewed her lip a bit. "So he's scared it will happen again? Doesn't want to get hurt?"

"We don't know. He won't really talk about it, not with any of us," Bethany said. "I only know that Fenris reminds him of Tanner."

"Ah. That can't be easy," Neri said.

"No. He's freaked out a couple of times because of it," Bethany said as she led the way down some steps. "The entrance to Darktown is just down here."

"I still can't believe Anders has a clinic in some sewer," Neri said, nose already crinkling just at the thought. "I can't believe so much has changed in a few short months either."

Bethany looked over her shoulder, smiling softly as she pushed the door open. "Time's weird like that. Sometimes things change completely overnight, other times three years can pass by and all that changes is the statue on the street corner." She shrugged a shoulder and entered in through the door.

Neri had thought the Alienage back in Denerim had smelled bad with the plague victim's dead bodies lying around and the stench of blood magic in the 'clinic'. She had thought the smell of darkspawn and Broodmothers was bad. But Darktown was an absolute shithole and the stench down here seemed to cling to her skin and clothes. And the further she got, the more she realised that it didn't stop smelling bad. Usually you got used to smells—gross as that was—but down here there were so many bad smells, that as soon as she got used to one, another would come right along and have her close to gagging again. It was the stench of damp, of shit and piss and death, of sweaty dirty bodies all packed in together, of smoke and fumes and rotten wood. Suddenly all the shitty places she'd slept in during the Blight didn't seem so bad because at least those had been temporary. The people here had no choice but to remain here.

Ander's clinic was, thankfully, not too far away, and the place had been filled with scented bits and bobs which helped to at least hide the stench down here. It was a bigger clinic than she had thought it might be. And there were actually people in it being treated. Anders was focused on healing what looked like a broken bone, his brows creased in concentration. She wasn't sure he had even noticed all three of them arrive. Two other people in the clinic did, though. A ginger-haired girl with a face full of freckles and a grin of crooked teeth headed straight to Carver, giving him a kiss on the lips in greeting. Neri watched, eyebrows arched with surprise and glanced at Bethany. The younger mage rolled her eyes, smiling and motioned for Neri to follow her over to where a dark-haired elf was stocking up the shelves. He grinned as they approached and stopped what he was doing.

Wiping his hands on his trousers, he offered Neri his hand. "It's an honour," he said, as a grin climbed across his lips. She shook his hand, smiling a little lopsidedly.

"I take it you don't greet all strangers this way," she laughed.

The elf blinked at her, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips. "No ma'am. You're the slayer of the Archdemon."

Neri glanced at Anders over her shoulder, smiling fondly. "He been telling you all about me?"

"Yes, well, some. But I saw you during the Blight, in the Alienage," the elf explained. "Name's Kit."

"Nice to meet you, Kit," she said. Her expression soured a little as she recalled the Blight—all those dead elves, the abuses they had been through, the ones she had saved from slavery. "That Alienage was fucked. Glad you got out of there okay."

"You're telling me," Kit replied, a frown forming between his brows. But it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. "I got to watch you and that elf of yours in action though, so it wasn't all bad," he said. There was a twinkle in his eyes, a wistful sort of one and Neri imagined her own eyes had taken on a similar glint. She missed Zev. But she couldn't think about that right now. Not while plans were still formulating in her mind.

"We were a good team," she admitted fondly.

"Anders said he went off to help find out who tried to assassinate you," Kit said, ears twitching just a bit. "You're not in contact with him?"

Neri chuffed out a laugh. "It's complicated. Really complicated."

Kit chuckled, his blue eyes filled with amusement. "You're dating two people. I'm not surprised it's complicated."

Neri grinned. "That's not even the complicated part."

"I dunno, that sounds complicated to me," Bethany said, a teasing smile at those plump lips of hers.

"It helps that they haven't met yet," Neri said, snorting. Bethany laughed, head shaking and Kit grinned.

Arms wrapped around her from behind, pulling her back into a warm, hard chest. She grinned. "Hello love," Anders said, nuzzling into her thick curls.

"Hey." She turned in his hold so that she could look up at him. He looked tired, but the brightness of his smile chased most of those shadows away. "Been busy?" she asked.

"Fairly. Will be easier now with Bethany and Carver here to help," he said with a quick glance at the mage at Neri's side. "Morning, Bethy."

"Morning," Bethany replied a little coyly. Neri could have sworn there was a slight flush to her cheeks as she spoke.

"How was breakfast?" Anders asked them both.

Neri narrowed her eyes up at him a bit. "The food was great, as was the company. The only sour taste in my mouth was left by the news of this Deep Roads expedition. An expedition we're both now going on, apparently."

An impish not-quite-smile twitched at Anders' lips. "Ah, yeah, that."

"Didn't fancy mentioning it to me sooner?"

"And deprive Hawke of the opportunity? Perish the thought."

Neri rolled her eyes, smiling as she hugged him. "We'll need to talk about it later."

She felt him nod as she squeezed her a little tighter. "I'm in no rush to go back in them either," he whispered. "But together…"

She pulled back, nodding firmly. "I'll make sure we're as prepared as we can be. I'll have to let Arietta know… she's going to love that."

He smirked. "It's certainly going to come as a surprise to her, that's for sure."

"Yeah… But enough of that. You owe me a tour of this place or something, right? I've got a few hours before I have to go meet Aveline."

"Ah yes, your big meeting with all of the most important people in the city. Would you like us to have a ship waiting in case you anger every last one of them?"

She stuck her tongue out at him and he grinned. "That's probably for the best though," she admitted.

They both laughed, but Neri's was a little more nervous. She really did struggle with keeping her cool around nobles.

"You'll be fine, love," Anders said, planting a kiss to the top of her head.

"I hope so."


	28. Pissing Nobles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun one with some familiar faces! Hope you like it, my lovelies! 
> 
> And we get some broody Fenris next time XD. 
> 
> Love you all, and thank you for the comments and support! 
> 
> And a super big thanks to my beta, ElyssaCousland! 
> 
> <3

Meredith flicked through the file once more. It was far too thin considering the mage's presence in the public eye. How could so little be known of her? Had her people really been so unable to sort truth from rumour? Such a thing should not have been difficult given the absurdity of some of the things circulating about the city. Anyone with half a brain knew she was not in fact ten feet tall with glowing red eyes. But, as with most things, she would just have to see for herself. It would have to do for now to know that the mage was here on Warden business, that another Warden mage was also within the city and that both had trained at the now-ruined Tower of Kinloch Hold. There were other details that Meredith doubted even the Slayer knew buried in this file, details she would work hard to _keep_ buried. There was no sense dredging up the past around a potential new threat, after all.

She stood from her chair and walked to her mirror. It would not do to meet with Kirkwall's finest looking anything but exceptionally well put together. She fixed her head piece, making certain it wasn't crooked where it sat nestled amongst her long blonde waves. She added powder to her nose and forehead next, to lessen the shine. She finished it all off with a light dusting of blush to her cheeks, hoping to make her pale skin look a little warmer.

She took a steadying breath, her gaze locked onto the one staring back at her in the mirror. She had a feeling this would be a very trying afternoon for her. What little she did know of Neria Surana, she knew through the Knight Captain's own accounts of her. If accurate, Neria was going to be quite a handful to deal with. Meredith's real worries came in the form of just what this elven mage had planned. She had already freed one Circle Tower from the protective hands of the Templars and Chantry. If she had now set her eyes on another…. No, she would not allow an elven mage to interfere with _her_ Circle.

There was a knock at her door then, an insistent one. She sighed, and with one final glance at herself in the mirror, she walked to the door. Orsino was waiting on the other side and she barely bit down on another sigh at the sight of him.

"Knight Commander," he said cordially.

She nodded. "First Enchanter," she said as she closed the door behind her.

"You are going to the soirée at the Keep," he said. It wasn't a question, more of an accusation going by the bite those words held.

"That is correct," she said as she started to walk down the corridor that housed their two offices.

"It is for Kirkwall's finest, for people of high ranking positions and note. The Grand Cleric, The Captain of the Guard, The Viscount and yourself will all be present," he droned on. "Why was I not invited?"

She gave him barely a flicker of a glance. "I did not think it appropriate for you to attend."

He stopped walking at that, sputtering, clearly insulted. "Not _appropriate_?" he asked incredulously. "How can you say that when the head of every other organisation will be there? When she herself is a mage!?"

"I will attend as representative of all who live under the roof of the Gallows, First Enchanter. There is no need for more of us to go."

"I have just as much of a right to be there as you do, Meredith. You cannot stop me from attending-"

"I absolutely can, _mage_ ," she said, voice rising. "Can and will."

"Don't do this," he said, pleading now that he had seen her anger and iron will. "If she is only here for a brief few days, this will be my only opportunity to speak with her about-"

"That," she spat, "is precisely why you cannot attend."

"You would deny her the chance to learn about-"

"Yes, I would. I will not give her reason to linger in our city longer than is absolutely necessary." She turned away from him. "We are done discussing this."

She just caught his arms flying into the air in frustration. "It wasn't much of a discussion in the first place!" he snarled at her back as she walked away.

* * *

 

"You have the _biggest_ sideburns I have ever seen," Neri said, her hand reaching out to touch before Aveline cleared her throat, eyes a little wide. Neri blinked and pulled her hand back, her expression turning from awe to embarrassment to something impish. "Sorry. Uhh, stroking people's facial hair in greeting is a Fereldan tradition of respect."

The guard, Donnic, scoffed loudly, obviously not believing a word of that. "As you say, Serah," he said, smiling.

She followed the two guards down the corridor, even with her shorter elven legs it might have been a struggle to keep up with them, but it was worse with her feeling all self-conscious and uncomfortable in this ridiculous _gown_. She still didn't understand why she couldn't wear her armour to dinner or just stay in her shirt – these people were here to meet _her_ ; well, that was her. She didn't _do_ dresses, at least, not very often. The last one she had worn had been to Fergus' second wedding back in Amaranthine. She'd hated it then but at least she had been able to choose her dress—Leliana had actually picked one out for her that wasn't completely terrible. But here? Here she was apparently borrowing some noblewoman's dress which they had _graciously_ donated to her. It made Neri want to gag - mostly because it was drenched in perfume, but still.

She was kind of glad this so called soirée was a dinner party. That would mean she could stuff her face with food and use that as an excuse not to talk much. But she still wasn't looking forward to it. At least she hadn't had to wear make-up or do her hair—nobody wanted to even try to run a comb through all her curls, and the food would probably be decent. She'd just have to cling to those small mercies and grin and bear the rest of it.

They stopped at a set of doors and Aveline turned to look at her. "Ready?"

"No."

Aveline chuckled. "You'll be fine, Neri."

"You don't know me very well then, Aveline."

The Guard Captain smiled warmly, green eyes softening at the edges. "I'll be close by. Always."

Neri nodded gratefully.

"And," Donnic added, "If you do want a quick escape, Aveline—that is to say, the Guard Captain-and I will distract everyone for you."

"Guardsman," Aveline sighed, shaking her head, but that smile hadn't left her lips.

"Thanks," Neri said. She took a deep breath. "Let's get this shit over with then."

Aveline was shaking her head as she and Donnic pushed the doors open. They all stepped forward together, into the grand ball room. Not that any of them got very far with their mouths hitting the ground.

"What the _fuckkkk_ ," Neri whispered.

The room was packed full with nobles—so many smells and colours and sounds hitting them full force all at once, overwhelmingly so. But that wasn't the thing that had made them stop dead in their tracks. That would be the fucking _dragon_ hanging from the ceiling. Not a real one, of course. Neri wasn't entirely sure what it was made of but it had been painted a dark purple, just like the Archdemon's colouring, even if it looked nothing like that bony, scaled hellbeast. It had rubies for eyes, and its wings glistened with black glitter. Honestly, it looked like a sparkly piñata and Neri wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it started spewing out fine Orlesian minted chocolates at some point during dinner. It was the most ridiculous thing she had ever seen and she wasn't even sure _why_ it was just hanging up there—was that supposed to make her feel _comfortable?_ Honoured? Was it just a reminder of what she had done as if she'd ever actually forget fighting that fucking thing? She had no bloody clue, honestly.

The Guard Captain, amazingly, managed to swallow her laugh but Guardsman Donnic struggled a little more, coughing to hide it instead.

"It's just an elaborate ceiling piece, Neri," Aveline replied.

"Elaborate… is _not_ the word I'd use."

"Come on, it's time for introductions," Aveline said, carefully placing a hand at the small of Neri's back and urging her forward.

"Wonderful," Neri bit out sarcastically.

* * *

 

The last pork, apple and cider pie _may_ have been one pork, apple and cider pie too many, Neri couldn't help but think. It was pretty rare for her to have a visible stomach, but just as with breakfast, she could see one poking out through her dress right now. Very attractive.

In her defence though, she had been stuffing her face with food all day to discourage long arduous conversations with the nobles in attendance at this ridiculous dinner party. And it had worked, _sort_ of. Instead of letting her talk, the nobles had talked _at_ her all day. Telling her things she gave not a single wet shit about. Not that they cared, she supposed. It was enough for them to say they had met the Slayer of the Archdemon and that they'd soon be having dinner together and other such nonsense that Neri had smiled and bobbed her head at.

At least when Neri had dealt with nobles in the past, they had usually been guests at a wedding—Fergus' and Arietta's—but this? This was little more than a bunch of parading birds all circling around Neri like she was some kind of shiny trinket. None of them actually cared about her; she was an elven mage, after all. Yet still they circled and watched and chirped away at her in their ridiculously bright coloured dresses and doublets, reeking of Maker only knew what perfumes and cologne.

Neri _had_ spoken to the Grand Cleric and had more or less hated every second of it. Oh, Elthina was nice enough, all softly spoken and sweet smiles. But Neri doubted very much that any of that would help the mages. She'd been even less impressed when Elthina had invited her to the Chantry to attend the weekly prayers, saying it would do Neri's soul good to be cleansed after all the shite she'd seen during the Blight—the dithering old woman hadn't used the word _shite_ , naturally, but Neri had no intention of praying to the Maker any time soon, all the same.

Seamus, the Viscount's son, had spoken with her for a time, and she had thanked him properly for the previous day's distraction with a kiss to his cheek. One that had seen that cheek flaming and him stuttering out a sheepish _you're welcome, my lady_. She liked him. He was a sharp one. Wiser than his age, which was surprising given how sheltered his father tried to keep him. But the rest of the noble's faces had all but blurred together into one very unattractive and colourful mess of bright make-up, giant hats and endless frills.

She pushed her plate away, despite knowing it would undoubtedly lead to someone new sitting in the vacant seat at her side—most nobles by now were done with food and simply mingling with sparkling champagne in their hands, except Neri and a few of the… larger men and women who were still enjoying all the free food. No sooner had she wiped her mouth with her napkin did the air to her side shift as someone moved toward her. She caught sight of bright white armour, gold embroidery, then striking blue eyes, coffee coloured hair and dark tanned skin that sat on a face all too familiar to her despite this one clearly being different. A relative then, she presumed.

"Good afternoon, my lady," he said to her, bowing, his deep drawl all but confirming to her that this man was indeed a Vael of Starkhaven.

She sent a silent prayer up to the Maker for this man to be absolutely nothing like Elliot Vael, the obnoxious prick of a man she had met at Arietta and Alistair's wedding, as she forced a smile across her lips. "Afternoon," she replied. "And which Vael would you be?"

There was only a brief moment where perfectly plucked brows arched and lips puckered into an alluring little ' _o'_ shape before they evened out and that perfectly kept mask that all nobles wore slipped back on. He bowed slightly. "I am Sebastian, the third son," he said. "How is it you know I am a Vael, if you do not mind my asking, my lady?"

She nodded for him to sit, and he did so. "I met your brother at the Royal Wedding in Denerim some time ago," she said, trying to keep an airy smile on her face and utterly failing. It soured at the edges as she remembered just what a pompous prat that man had been, always going on about the armies he controlled.

"Ah, of course."

There was a flicker of something behind those bright cerulean pools he called eyes and he glanced away to instead pick up an empty champagne flute. He'd barely touched the stem before a servant was pouring champagne into it. He took a slow sip and Neri took the lull in conversation to admire his handsome features. His hair was ruffled, but not messily like Hawke's—it looked more like each strand of wavy hair had been perfectly placed for maximum sexiness. His high cheekbones were flushed with a rosy pink that only just showed over all that dark skin. He was gorgeous, and much sexier than his brother had been.

"So, what brings you to Kirkwall?" she asked as she leaned forward a little, elbow coming up to rest on the table before she could catch herself doing it. She pulled it away quickly and instead held her hands in her lap, but the damage had been done; Sebastian noticed, and smiled.

"It appears neither of us feels very comfortable here."

She scoffed. "That tends to happen when you're forced to go somewhere you don't want to." She winced as his brow arched in surprise. "Sorry," she quickly said. "It's been a long day."

"There is no need to apologise," he said, still smiling a little. "Truth be told, I am not here out of choice, either."

"Oh?"

"Mmh. I was hoping to convince some of the nobility in attendance here to help me. Oh they promise aid with sweet smiles and soothing touches, but I see how little they care and mean it," he said, staring bitterly into his glass and swirling the bubbling liquid around it.

"What exactly do you need aid with?" she found herself asking, not liking the sour lines creasing his beautiful face. He glanced back up at her, head tilting slightly.

"Then you have not heard. I had assumed your soured expression upon mentioning my brother meant-" He let out a chuffed laugh and shook his head. "You just did not like him."

"Uhhh…" she said, drawing out the syllables, her voice nearly a squeak, as she tried to think of something not completely offensive. "I didn't know him _that_ well."

Sebastian smiled again, but this time it was watery. "He is dead, along with the rest of my family," he explained quietly. She saw his fist clench in his lap even as the one holding his flute remained perfectly posed. "They were murdered."

She swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling utterly horrible. "I—I'm sorry. I didn't know."

He nodded sombrely and tipped back some of his drink.

"What… happened?" she prompted softly.

He sighed a little. "I don't know much, only the mercenary company that did it," he said, his features souring again. "Paid killers wiped out my entire family in one night."

She picked at her dress, her gaze still watching his troubled face. "How'd you survive that?"

"I wasn't there," he said, a rueful smile at his lips. "My parents sent me away, against my wishes, to become a Chantry Brother."

Neri could perfectly picture that Grand Cleric saying _Sebastian, the Maker saved you for a reason_ in her mind, when in reality it probably had fuck all to do with him and everything to do with Sebastian being the spare heir's spare. Although, she supposed he was the only living heir left at all now.

"That can't be easy to swallow," she said, knowing the feeling well. If Anders had died at Kinloch Hold while she had been summoned to the Anderfels… Maker only knows what she would have done in response. "The aid you seek, I assume it's to kill those mercenaries, then? You want revenge."

"Aye, that I do." She shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat as his burning gaze locked with hers, guilt and anger swirling in those deep blue depths. He noticed her discomfort and straightened, mask slipping back on. "I apologise, my lady, It was not my intention to trouble you with my burdens. I had actually wanted to thank you for ending the Blight. Starkhaven saw its fair share of destruction from darkspawn in the past—the damage from the Second Blight can still be seen today on the outskirts of the city. It truly is good you stopped it so soon."

Neri nodded in agreement. "You're welcome," she said, trying not to sound as sick of saying that as she was. "And it's fine. You clearly needed to talk about it… and I really _am_ sorry. I mean, like I said, I didn't know your brother all that well. Actually, I sort of thought he was an ass but… Shit, that sounded bad." She bit her lip, hard, cringing away from the wide-eyed gaze staring at her as she scrambled to take back her words, but then he surprised her by letting out another breathy laugh.

"Oh, Maker forgive me, but he was."

Neri sighed in relief and smirked. "You… weren't close then?"

He leant back in his seat a little, relaxing. "Not particularly. He took his role as leader of Starkhaven's forces very seriously. Whereas I was often out, uhh, _enjoying_ my youth," he said, cheeks flushing a little more.

Neri's brows arched with interest. "Is _that_ why your parents sent you to the Chantry? Because you were _enjoying_ yourself too much?" she asked, barely holding back a laugh, her eyes alight with an impish spark.

Sebastian coughed, clearing his throat. "I did have quite the… reputation back then, it's true," he said, a wistful smile at his lips, twitching with something just a little wicked. "Elliot would always berate me for my behaviour. We would get into the worst fights…"

"He sounds jealous to me," Neri said, uncrossing her legs as she too relaxed a bit.

"Jealous?"

"Yeah. You getting all that tail and being better looking than he was must have stung a bit."

He cleared his throat, smiling shyly. "Perhaps. I was a difficult teen, in truth though. And what I wouldn't give to just see him again, even if it was for us to argue…"

Neri gave him a sympathetic nod and took a long sip from her own glass. "Did you leave for the Chantry on bad terms with him?"

"Things were never _good_ between us, but we hadn't been arguing before I left," he explained. "But nor did I write to him, or any of them. Too angry at being sent away. The only person I stayed in contact with was my Grandfather. He's gone too."

She nodded sadly and their conversation trailed off a bit, both of them gazing down at their laps, with him sipping from his flute. She hated sad shit. And then her face lit up with a bit of an impish spark. "Hey, so, you said you were sent to the Chantry - does that mean you're one of those chaste brothers now? Or are you still _adventurous_?" she asked, eyebrows wiggling.

Sebastian choked on his champagne, eyes wide as he spluttered. And Neri realised rather abruptly that she had just asked the _mourning_ prince if he was still going on benders and _fucking_ people. She'd fallen too easily into casual conversation with him and had completely forgotten what was considered appropriate dinner table conversation. And that…that was definitely _not_.

"Oh, fuck. Don't answer that—unless…unless you want to, of course." His eyes widened further and she waved her hands about wildly. "No. Yeah. Definitely don't," she said squeakily, voice rising with her panic. "And shit, I'm really sorry for swearing. Piss, I just did it again, and again. Bloody balls. I'm just so fried—I didn't sleep much last night because I was finally reunited with my boyfriend-"

"Please!" he hissed out. "You do not need to explain about your, uhh, lack of sleep."

"Maker's hairy asshole," she blurted. Both her hands flew to her mouth in shock as the man in front of her looked ready to keel over from shock, horror and embarrassment. "I'm so sorry. I'm just. I'm gonna stop talking now." She buried her face in her hands, letting her thick curls fall over her face as she groaned.

Calloused fingers suddenly brushed against the backs of her hands and slowly pried them away from her face. Blue eyes, crinkled with amusement were peering at her as she looked up at him.

"That was…" A smile touched his lips—soft, grateful and just a little bit amused, "the first real conversation I've had since arriving in Kirkwall, even if it was a little unorthodox."

Neri snorted violently. "That's the understatement of the Age."

That smile twitched upward. "I've seen sailors with cleaner mouths than that," he agreed, nodding a little teasingly. "But thank you. It's nice to speak with someone without an agenda for once." He sucked in a breath, clearing the last of the champagne from his lungs. "To answer your question, however… I have remained with the Chantry out of choice for some time now. And therein lays my predicament. A Chantry brother should not seek vengeance, and yet I cannot stand idly and do nothing."

She nodded. "Yeah, that kinda clashes with the whole forgiveness thing they're into, right?"

Sebastian chuckled lightly. "That it does."

"So, this mercenary company, who are they?"

"They're called The Flint Company," he said, thumbing the stem of his flute between thumb and forefinger. "Quite a large group, well known and well liked in these parts. Which is why they fled here in the first place."

"Oh, so the nobles are protecting them, or at least, not willing to send anyone after them because they like using The Flint Company so much?"

"That does appear to be the short of it, yes."

"I mean, they must be good to have taken out so many of your family, even if they did do it at night. So, I suppose that makes sense."

"Aye. They're good at what they do, I'll give them that," he said bitterly, that darkness returning to his gaze.

"And you know _where_ they are?"

He dipped his head, jaw twitching as it clenched. "Hiding in the hills like the cowards they are while they wait for things to cool down. I bribed enough traders who travel the roads to know that much."

Neri ran her slender fingers over the back of her chair, removing one of her long golden hairs from it.

"Alright," she chirped. He glanced at her, frowning. "I'll do it."

"Do it?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'll track these fuckers down, interrogate them, then kill them all for you."

His eyes bulged again, wide with alarm. "I never-"

A playful little smirk twisted her lips. "You were hoping I would, though."

His mouth opened then closed and she watched his throat bob as he swallowed. "If you did this… I would be in your debt."

She hummed. "I like the sound of that." She flashed him a grin as he blushed. "I'm sticking around for a while, and if things here are anything at all like they were for me during the Blight… then there's no doubt I'll find myself out in the countryside sooner or later for a job. I'll just make sure to add yours to the list of stuff I do." She smiled. "This isn't the first time I've dealt with murdering assholes who wiped out an entire family in the middle of the night. Cowards like that deserve a painful death."

He nodded grimly. "Thank you. I mean it. I will try to repay you-"

"No need," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You saved me from talking to nobles for a little while, that's thanks enough."

"Then perhaps I can continue to save you for a little longer," he said charmingly. "All this talk of myself has me curious of you, my lady."

She rolled her eyes. "Please do not ask me to tell the tale of the Battle of Denerim. I've played all the games I can with that one."

"Games?" he asked.

"Yeah. Telling each noble a different version of events… telling some that the Archdemon was actually pink, not dark purple—I said that to the nobles who painted that _thing_ currently hanging over our heads," she laughed. "They were mortified."

Sebastian laughed, his hand hiding much of it, but his eyes had crinkled attractively with it. "I admit, it is quite an eyesore."

"Bloody ridiculous," she muttered. "I don't even want to know how they made it so fast."

"I believe one of the nobles had a spare dragon model from a Tevinter-themed party from some years ago. They simply repainted it for this soirée."

She scoffed. "They'd have been better off leaving that in whatever depressing basement it had been collecting dust in until now."

He chuckled. "Agreed. I never was one for such showmanship. My brothers were, Elliot especially."

Neri groaned. "Ugh. I remember. He was disappointed when he met me because I didn't actually command any armies."

"Ah, that does sound like him. He was so obsessed and proud of his forces… a lot of good it did him in the end, dying in his sleep."

She squeezed his shoulder, her gaze firm as it caught his. "They will pay for what they did to your family, Sebastian. And I'll make certain I find out who hired them before I end them."

His hand grasped her arm as he nodded. "Thank you." Those blue eyes flicked to something behind her and his mask slipped right back on. "I fear another wishes to converse with you, one we best not displease." Neri managed a brief glance over her shoulder, catching sight of the one person she had managed to dodge all night. She grimaced. "I shall take my leave, my lady."

"Oh sure, use me and leave me. You men are all the same," she said. His face paled until she started to snicker. He sighed in relief and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it briefly.

"Good luck," he whispered before stepping gracefully away.

The woman that took his seat sat down with an equal amount of grace to Sebastian, only her grace was all measured and controlled, rigid and meant to convey absolute discipline and authority. Neri already hated her.

Blue eyes, ice cool, so very different to the bright eyes of Sebastian turned to glare at her.

"Surana."

Neri smirked as she straightened her back and met that icy gaze. "Stannard," she replied.

"That is Knight-Commander Meredith to you, mage."

"Then I'd prefer it if you called me Neria Surana, Slayer of the Archdemon, Saviour of Denerim and Ender of the Fifth Blight, _templar_."

Meredith's eyes narrowed, her lips twitching with the want to curl in annoyance. "How long will you be in Kirkwall for?" she asked instead.

Neri leaned back in her seat, tapping the back of it casually as she lifted her glass of champagne and sipped. "Not sure," she replied, enjoying the little tick of annoyance at the corner of the Templar's eye. "Why, want to have tea some time?"

That glare got positively steely. Neri knew she was pushing her luck—that angering the Templars right now was a piss poor idea. Even Anders had managed to stay under their radar. But asking her to play nice with the Knight-Commander of the strictest and cruellest Circle in all of Thedas when she was already knackered and weary from talking to so many _other_ nobles was never ever going to end well—she realised that was probably _why_ Meredith had waited so long; she was watching, waiting, testing and scrutinising her. Trying to put a face to the famous name and reputation Neri held.

The funny thing was, until today, Neri had absolutely no plans to do anything at all for the mages here; she was going to grab Anders, say hi to Theo, then return home. Being a Warden, it wasn't like she had years and years to live—her circumstances meant she had even less time than most—and she intended to spend it enjoying herself as much as possible, _not_ fighting pointless wars. She had saved her friends in Ferelden, freed the mages she grew up with… That was enough for her. But she was staying here in Kirkwall a while, and now that Meredith was clearly interrogating her, wanting to learn what her plans and intentions were, Neri found that she suddenly _wanted_ to help the mages here. After all, she was finally able to put a face to one of the most feared names in these parts and she was finding that she rather despised it.

"It is my duty as Knight-Commander to asses any and all threats to the Circle here," she said, her voice stony.

Neri's lips quirked again. "I'm here on Warden business," she said. "So, I can't tell you why I am here, how long I will stay, or what I will be doing."

Meredith _really_ didn't like that answer, if the way her gauntlets creaked was anything to go by. "Your very presence here unsettles the Gallow's mages."

"Does it? I'd think the Templars watching them night and day manage that just fine."

"My Templars do what is necessary to protect the innocent."

"Mages _are_ innocent when you take them from their mother's skirts. Children who you lock up like criminals in a literal slave prison for something they are born with," Neri spat.

"No mage is innocent. We Templars do what we must to protect the rest of the population from the dangers of uncontrolled magic."

"No. You stand around in that prison of yours, watching, testing and punishing mages, controlling _them_ rather than helping them to control their magic. You claim to be about protecting the innocents—you think I threaten that—but how many lives have you saved? How many cities? Countries? Because I stopped the fucking Blight, so I'm pretty damned comfortable with the whole 'protect the innocent' _thing_." Neri sucked in a deep breath, trying to cool her anger. "And as I said, I am here on _Warden_ business. It does not involve the mages and it will be concluded when it is concluded." Neri shoved her chair back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, _Meri_ , I'm pretty sure there is an Archdemon skull cake with my name on it nearby." She didn't bother waiting for the Templar's answer as she walked away.


	29. Cards Against Thedosians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. So. So. Late. 
> 
> I'm sorry! 
> 
> I'm hoping to get some writing done this weekend. We shall see if I manage that. 
> 
> Thank you for the comments. I need to reply to them still. But know I've read them and appreciated them all <3

Cards Against Thedosians.

Fenris took a long pull from the rich red in his glass, swallowing it eagerly as he waited for Hawke to join them at The Hanged Man. The rogue had insisted on popping by Lirene's again before coming here, so Fenris had gone on ahead to secure drinks and a table, not that such a thing had been necessary. Varric had been in and as soon as he had arrived, the dwarf had invited him up to his suite where the twins were both happily drinking already. They were expecting more people than usual tonight—Guardsman Donnic hadn't attended the previous night due to extra guards being needed for the slayer's arrival, but Aveline had assured them he would be there tonight after the soirée at the Keep. The mage, Anders, had also brought along Kit and Yasmin to The Hanged Man, although it was clear the red-headed woman was mostly in attendance to spend more time with Carver.

All in all, it was looking to be a rather busy night. Fenris was doing his best to be comfortable with it, not that such a thing was easy as he still wasn't relaxed around large crowds of people. Gatherings such as these reminded him too much of Tevinter, of Danarius' parties—that fact was not at all helped by the presence of two mages, with a third on her way back from the Viscount's Keep.

Thankfully, he was somewhat accustomed to Bethany's company now. Living with Hawke and having her treat his injuries before that had certainly helped convince him that she was, at the very least, a well-intentioned mage. Fenris remained wary of Anders, unable to shake the uneasiness he still felt around him. It was, however, Neria that he struggled with the most. She was a mage in a position of power, one well-known and well-liked for her achievements. Already she had used her authority to free mages back in her homeland, and Fenris knew how easily rebellions could spread, how quickly mages could seize power. The fact that she was now planning to remain in the city—to go into the Deep Roads with Hawke—only furthered Fenris' unease.

He had known from day one that Hawke would likely attract the company of more mages, but part of him had hoped that wouldn't be the case. Especially as he had begun to relax more and more around the rogue, feeling, for the first time in the life he could recall, like himself. Now he felt those walls sliding back into place as Anders laughed and flirted opposite him, those burnished amber eyes catching Fenris' forest green ones from time to time and seemingly undressing him from across the table. He clutched his drink tighter, his spiked gauntlets scratching on the glass of the bottle.

He was tempted to simply get up and leave – that was, until Hawke appeared in the doorway. One of his hands ruffled the mess of curls on his head, the other held his drink. He avoided everyone's gazes as he came to sit down next to Fenris, but that only made everyone pay even more attention to him.

"What is that?" Isabela asked, keen eyes following Hawke's movements even as she stayed rooted in Anders' lap. Any who had not yet noticed the rogue's entrance certainly did then.

"It's nothing," Theo said as he wiped his nose, only succeeding in smearing blood right across it. His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment as he took a long pull of his drink.

"There is blood all across your nose," Bethany said, already heading toward her brother. Fenris braced himself for the potential use of magic. "That is not nothing and it looks ridiculous."

Varric leaned forward, clearing sensing a story as he peered out over the spectacles resting on his nose. "Hawke, what happened?"

"Fenris only left you for ten minutes," Bethany went on to say as she wiped at the wound on Hawke's nose with a cloth.

"That's more than enough time for him to get into trouble," Carver retorted. "You should know that better than most."

"D'you walk into a door or sumthin'?" Yasmin asked, her lips parting with a crooked-toothed smile.

"No," Theo said. "It's really nothing."

Bethany pulled the rag away to reveal three small scratches right across the length of Hawke's nose and Anders immediately let out a gasp.

"I know those marks!" he said, his eyes lighting up more than they had when the pirate had first sat in his lap. "You got swiped at by a cat!"

Isabela immediately chortled. "What, a pussy didn't like you, Hawke?"

Hawke let out a long-suffering groan. "I was trying to rescue it, okay?" He let out a rough sigh, head shaking. "It was this tiny little fur ball of a thing, stuck up on the roof meowing its head off." Anders let out a strange little squeak of a noise, his eyes big and round and soft. Hawke gave him a quizzical look before continuing. "And it looked like rain so… I climbed up there to save it." Bethany started to giggle and Hawke glared up at her. "Only the cat didn't think it needed rescuing, I guess."

Varric snorted with laughter. "Ah, between Broody and the chickens, and you and the cat, I think I have enough material to start a spin-off," he said.

Fenris turned his head slowly to glare daggers at a suddenly very impish looking Hawke. "You told the dwarf about the chickens?"

Hawke held up both his hands, eyes wide. "It just slipped out! I'm sorry!" Something akin to a smirk curled the corner of Hawke's lips. "I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers with it."

Everyone at the table laughed even as Fenris narrowed his eyes further at the rogue. He should have known that Hawke would not be able to keep something like that a secret. He still woke Fenris up each morning by clucking in his ear, after all. Asinus. But Fenris could hardly find it in himself to stay mad at such a thing—not when Hawke had spent his free time since the slaver attack showing Fenris all of the rooftop and sewer routes he knew. It was slow going, learning each of them, but Fenris would be forever grateful for it all the same.

"So, what happened to the cat, after it swiped at you?" Anders asked, looking quite worried.

"Oh. It scampered off down some alley," Hawke replied. "I fell on my ass off the roof so didn't really feel like chasing after it."

"I hope it'll be alright," Anders said, a troubled frown forming between his brows. "Feisty one like that should be okay, though."

Isabela scoffed. "Shouldn't you be more interested in the other type of tail, tiger?" she asked as she rocked her hips down into Anders' lap. His eyes went from being clouded with worry to sparking with desire as his grip on her hips tightened.

"A tiger! That's perfect, Rivaini," Varric said, quill in hand as he scribbled down some notes.

"Varric…" Hawke said, tone all playful warning.

"Now, now Hawke," the dwarf said, copper eyes gleaming as he looked up at his fellow rogue. "I know what you're gonna say about the embellishments, but c'mon, even you've gotta admit using a tiger instead of a kitten's a good one."

"But a tiger… in Kirkwall?"

"It's not completely unbelievable," Carver said. "There's that girl at the Rose who dresses up as-" Carver's mouth slammed shut as several sets of suddenly very curious eyes turned on him. His cheeks flushed red and Yasmin burst out laughing.

"Oh, little pup played wit'a big ol' pussy at the Rose, did he?" she asked, grin flashing across her face.

"Oh Carver," Bethany said, her nose crinkling.

"I did not!" the youngest Hawke objected. "I just know she works there, is all."

"She only puts the tiger suit on once you're in the room with her, brother," Hawke said, holding back a snicker. "And before anyone asks, I only know that because I was drunk and stumbled into the wrong room one time and saw…" His face twisted into a mix of disgust, confusion and curiosity. "I don't even know what, but it was weird."

"That's just Yana," Kit said, shrugging. "Some people like to get fucked by animals." They all glanced at the dark-haired elf sat in the corner, brows quirked. "What? Sometimes I moonlight there for extra coin… and the hot men."

"I knew I recognised you," Hawke and Isabela both muttered. Hawke immediately cleared his throat and ducked his head as Bethany hit him, eyes rolling, but the pirate grinned and turned her attention back to Kit. "You work with Serendipity sometimes."

"Guilty," Kit said, a smirk lifting his lips.

All this talk of The Rose was making Fenris uncomfortable. He knew Hawke frequented the establishment—that much had been clear the day they had gone there to investigate – and he had admitted to Fenris that he slept with whores when drunk to avoid attachment. Fenris knew now that he did that because he still grieved his dead lover, Tanner. And yet something strange coiled in his gut whenever he pictured Hawke with another. It was not a feeling he was used to or able to identify. He only knew that it made him want a change in topic immediately.

His wish was granted a moment later in the form of Neria Surana slinking into the room, head back as she chugged at a dusty looking bottle of brandy. The bottle dropped from her lips with a pop as she plonked herself down in the spare chair at the end of the table, next to where Anders and the pirate still sat. Then she resumed her drinking.

Anders watched her with a mix or worry and amusement glistening in his eyes. "That bad?"

Neri's unimpressed gaze flicked to his, her eyes void of all emotion. "I don't want to talk about it."

A smile twitched at Anders' lips in response. "So you're just going to drink until you pass out and forget about it?"

"Fuck no," Neri scoffed. "I'm gonna get drunk then fuck the both of you," she said, pointing her bottle at Anders and Isabela.

"Oh, I like that plan," Isabela purred.

"Of course you do, Rivaini, it involves sex."

Isabela grinned at the dwarf. "Tell you all about it tomorrow, sweet thing."

"Branching out into erotica now as well, Varric?" Anders asked, brow arching.

Varric threw him a slightly wicked looking grin. "Who says I'm not already writing solely that?"

Bethany, Carver and Hawke all groaned and Varric chortled into his drink.

"You're not showing Bethany any more snippets," Hawke said, smiling in spite of himself.

"But Hawke, Sunshine's my biggest fan!" Varric groused.

"She doesn't need more corrupting influences in her life, she has more than enough," he replied with a quick glance at Anders, Bela and Neri at the end of the table. In return, all three of them lifted their drinks into the air and nodded, much to Hawke's amused annoyance.

Things settled back down again, with people returning to their drinks. Fenris was just starting his second bottle when Hawke nudged him with an elbow.

"You alright?" Hawke asked, amber eyes crinkled with worry as they stared at him.

"Fine." A sighed breath slipped out of Hawke's mouth but the rogue gave a nod and turned his attention back to his own drink.

It felt odd not to explain himself to Hawke, for once, but here was hardly the place for it. Usually the rogue was good at pulling answers from him as well, but he likely knew what was troubling him already, thus did not press the matter. It was always strange to Fenris that he could speak so freely with the rogue given that he had spent years—all he could remember of his life—controlling very carefully what he said and how he reacted. And while he remained one of few words, Hawke received the majority of them.

Fenris went back to watching the table too, his gaze landing on the still-drinking form of Neri. She had swallowed half the bottle now and showed no signs of stopping. Her mage, too, seemed concerned by this.

"Really though. What happened at the soirée?" he asked her.

Neri sighed heavily, so much so it was closer to a groan than an exhale of breath. "Well, it started with me in a stupid dress, greeting dozens and dozens of guests underneath a giant stuffed dragon hanging from the ceiling… and it ended with me calling the Knight Commander of the Templars Meri before I stuffed my face with a cake the size of my head until I threw up and could finally fucking leave the damned thing."

"That's…" Anders bit on his lip a bit.

"Absolutely perfect! Keep talking, Freckles."

Neri glared at the dwarf. "I met a Prince…" Varric wet his lips, eyes lit up like stars. "I started out by calling his—as I also just found out—recently murdered brother, an arse."

"Well that's not that bad," Anders said.

Neri held up her finger and continued. "That then progressed to me asking if he was still adventurous, and ended with me swearing uncontrollably, saying Maker's hairy balls and apologising to him for everything by explaining that I had just been reunited with my boyfriend and hadn't slept much, to which he abruptly interrupted me and said I didn't need to explain my lack of sleep to him." Everyone stared at her, unblinking. "Oh, and he's actually a Chantry brother now." That's all it took to see the whole table erupting into laughter.

"Oh Maker, and you said Maker's hairy balls in front of him," Hawke snickered.

"This is why I shouldn't deal with nobles," Neri cried. "I always told Arietta to just lock me in a cupboard whenever they were around, but she never listened!" The little elf groaned. "She is going to kill me when she finds out about all of this. You'll be representing mages, elves, the Grey Wardens and all of Ferelden, Neri," she mocked in a posh sounding voice, one Fenris assumed was an impression of the Queen of Ferelden's voice. "Fucking bollocks." She took another long pull of her drink.

Varric wiped the tears from his eyes. "It could be worse, Freckles, you could have thrown up on one of the nobles."

Neri's expressionless face glanced at Varric. "I did."

Even Fenris snorted with amusement that time as everyone once again cracked up.

"I don't even know which noble it was to apologise to," she groused. "They all look the same in their stupid dresses."

"Oh, so it was a woman then?" Hawke asked.

"Not necessarily…" Neri replied, brow crinkling. "Dresses are in fashion for men right now… or something. Heels definitely are. And I know they were in heels 'cause it went all over their foot."

"That's right grim," Yasmin laughed.

"Should mean you get less invites from nobles to parties from now on though," Varric pointed out.

"Now that's a silver lining I'll drink to!" Neri said, grinning.

"You were already drinking," Anders pointed out, smirking.

"And now I'll do it some more while listening to what everyone else did today while I made a tit out of myself."

"A very pretty tit," Isabela said, eyes hooding. "I like it when you blush all over."

Neri snorted, the sound echoing through the bottle she was drinking from. "You'll have plenty of time to see more of that later."

"I better."

Hawke leaned forward a bit. "Fenris and I didn't do that much after breakfast, just went for a long run, popped to the shops and got groceries for the next week or so, helped Varric's men at the mansion for a bit with repairs, then went into the sewers so I could teach Fen all of the escape routes out of Hightown…" He started to grin as everyone watched him with disbelieving expressions. "Just a standard Monday really."

Fenris rolled his eyes. "You forgot the part where you wrestled with an alley tiger," he said dryly.

"Wrestled it! That's going in the book," Varric proclaimed. "Nice one, Broody."

Hawke shot Fenris a glare which he found difficult not to smile at.

"We all delivered a baby at the clinic today," Anders said, smiling proudly. "Little girl."

"Not one of me mam's for once, neither," Yasmin chortled.

"She was so cute," Bethany said, her face lit up with joy, her eyes bright. "The mother named her Andrea, after Anders."

Neri groaned. "That's disgustingly cute."

"Yeah…" Anders said, voice a bit wistful. The two mages seemed to share a sad look before glancing away and clearing their throats.

"Well, I spent most of my day-" Isabela began but Fenris turned his attention instead to the two Hawke siblings at his side.

"Oh, Theo…" Bethany said, her voice soft. "Mother finally got a hold of Mark and Nancy." At the mention of those two names, Hawke's entire body stiffened. "They'd moved to a different part of the Storm Coast so it took a while for her letters to find them. But they're alive and well—apparently they've adopted two new children, too." Fenris saw the wince on Hawke's face before he was able to put a strained smile across his lips. "I think they want to visit us," she went on to say. "They were sorry they missed the anniversary a few months ago but said they could maybe come by in time for next year's instead."

Hawke swallowed thickly, his jaw clenched so tightly it twitched. "I'm sure mother would like that," he said before tipping back the rest of his drink. "Excuse me." Hawke left the room before Bethany could say another word. Fenris watched his retreating back with a frown. There was only one thing that made Hawke that tense.

Bethany sighed heavily. "I'm still not sure telling him was the right idea, anything to do with Tanner and father is just…" She shook her head as she glanced at Carver. Of the others, only Neri seemed to have noticed Hawke leave, and her ochre eyes watched their exchange curiously.

"Them just turning up in nine months' time on our doorstep for the anniversary, catching him off guard, would not be better," Carver said.

"I suppose." Watery garnet eyes flicked to Fenris next. "He's talked to you about Tanner before… do you think you could go see if he's okay?" she asked, worrying on her lip slightly.

He had no wish to see Hawke do something reckless as he often did when the past threatened his future, but pressing him to talk when he clearly wanted to be alone was little better. He sighed and swallowed the rest of his bottle. "I will see if he wants a new drink," he decided as he got to his feet. Bethany gave him a thankful smile.

He had expected to find Hawke at the bar already, in truth, ordering a bottle much like Neri had. Instead he found him down the hallway, crouched on the ground, back against the wall, his hands in his hair. Fenris approached silently, his gut twisting with worry as he realised how heavily the human was breathing.

"Hawke?"

"I'm okay." A hand waved him off, fingers trembling before Hawke curled them back into a fist.

"Hawke," Fenris said, voice softening a touch as he crouched down in front of him. Wide and watery carnelian eyes peered up at Fenris from behind dishevelled dark hair.

"I haven't had to face them for years," he explained shakily, lip quivering. "I don't…I don't think I can."

"Hawke. It is months away," Fenris said, doing his best to hold Hawke's gaze. "They may not visit and if they do, you do not have to see them, not if the survivor's guilt is too mu-"

Hawke scoffed caustically, head jerking back and shaking. He ran his hands over his face and then up into his hair, shoving the windswept curls back. "Is that what my family think I suffer from so heavily? Survivor's guilt?" he laughed bitterly. "I wish it was that simple."

Fenris opened his mouth but quickly closed it again. He wanted to ask, wanted to know what had occurred that day that had left Hawke in such a state every time it was mentioned, but the words wouldn't leave his lips. It was clearly a deeply personal matter, something Fenris didn't have any right to pry into.

"They don't know the whole story," Hawke went on to say, his gaze now covered by his arms. "Nobody does."

"You could tell them," Fenris suggested.

Hawke let out another bitter little laugh. "They wouldn't understand."

"How do you know-"

"Because I know them," he cut in, his arms dropping away. Despite his cold tone, his eyes were sad and wet still. They watched him for a moment, deciding something perhaps as Fenris sat there, uncertain what to say. "I need another drink." He pushed up from the ground and Fenris was forced to stand with him, lest they bash heads together. He followed the rogue to the bar, needing another drink himself.

They ended up each with a bottle, Hawke with brandy and Fenris with yet more wine, and both sat in a quiet corner of the main room with Hawke not wanting to return to Varric's suite just yet. Fenris was tempted to question Hawke further about that day, but the rogue spoke first.

"What about you?" Hawke asked after a long draught. "I saw the way you were eyeing Neri and Anders. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but, are you okay with them being here?"

"You know my feelings on mages, Hawke."

"I do…"

"You are hoping I will give you more of an answer than does it matter, now?"

"Well that would be nice," Hawke said as he rubbed the back of his neck, a slight smirk threatening the corner of his mouth.

Fenris sighed. "As you wish." He met Hawke's gaze. "Heis too much like the magisters—he has their easy charm and quick smiles. And she is a mage in a position of power. Already, she has used that power to free a Circle from Templar control." His lip started to curl. "How easy it would be for her to push her authority further and-" He cut himself on when he saw a brief flash of fear in Hawke's eyes. He had expected anger or exasperation. Not… that. His brow arched quizzically.

Hawke swallowed and shifted in his seat. "I…knew someone who hated mages like that," he explained. "Their hatred came from a place of fear and paranoia-one terrible experience that ended up shaping their entire view of them."

Fenris straightened his back and gave the rogue a look. "Mine is not based on one bad experience, Hawke."

"Oh, I know," he amended quickly. "Tevinter is fucked up. Blood mages, blood sacrifices…" He shuddered. "It's just…hearing you talk like that it-"

"Frightens you."

Hawke exhaled softly. "Yes."

Fenris shifted in his seat, his chest tightening. "You still fear I will betray your trust?"

"No," Hawke said quickly. "It's something else. It doesn't matter," he said with a slight smile.

"I can see why you find such an answer irritating," Fenris muttered before tossing back more drink.

Hawke's smile stretched upward. "We should join the others," he said, already standing up. "Let me know if it gets too much and you want to leave? I don't much feel like being here late anyway."

Fenris nodded. "Thank you. I shall."

...

Theo would always be amazed at how quickly people moved about in Varric's suite. Isabela was now sitting on one of Carver's knees, with Yasmin next to her on the other and a very happy looking Carver between them. Bethany and Neri were over by the fire, chatting but they quieted as soon as Theo entered—which made him suspicious—and Anders, Kit and Varric were all now at the far end of the table, playing cards and drinking. Theo sat back down in his seat, giving Varric and the boys a nod as he did so, and Fenris slid in next to him.

"What'd we miss?" he asked.

"Oh, the usual," Varric said, perpetually gleaming copper eyes looking up at him. "Carver blushing, Rivaini and Crackers trying to rile him up some…" he said with a nod at Bela and Yasmin. "Herby and Blondie moved down here when Sunshine and Freckles buggered off to talk."

"About me, no doubt," Theo grumbled.

"They look like they're plotting," Anders commented, as he watched Neri over his shoulder. "That's her plotting face."

"They are whispering in conspiratorial tones," Varric nodded.

"Neri and my sister working together, just what I needed," Theo sighed, smiling a little ruefully.

"Ah, don't worry about it, Hawke," Varric said, squeezing his shoulder. "I'm sure Sunshine and Freckles are only planning something slightly diabolical."

Theo glared at Varric, ignoring Anders' and Kit's snickering and turned to Fenris. "I don't suppose you can hear what they're saying?"

Fen arched a brow at him. "You think because of my ears, I have a better chance of hearing them than you do, Hawke?"

"Uhh. Yeah?" Fenris' expression stayed completely void of any emotion and Theo swallowed. "Shit, is that not true?"

Anders snorted. "He's pulling your leg, Hawke. Elven hearing is loads better than ours. Also, their ears can move and are an erogenous zone."

"Mmmm. So true," Kit purred.

Theo nearly choked on his barely contained laugh but it was Fenris' eye twitching that had him properly cracking up—clearly Fenris didn't know that little detail. Fuck, and now Theo wanted to test that out. He groaned and let his laughter die as he swallowed down more brandy, not before he spotted three smirks and three sets of knowing eyes aimed at him first, though. He tipped back more of the drink, eyes closed.

"Sorry we're late," a slightly breathless Aveline suddenly said from the doorway. "We had a lot of things to take care of in the aftermath of well…" she glanced at Neri, "you."

Neri groaned and headed back to the table with a smiling Bethany behind her.

"How much shit am I in, though?" Neri asked, as she grabbed her drink again and downed a big gulp.

"It could have been worse… a lot worse," Aveline admitted, trying for a reassuring smile but her green eyes never were very good at hiding the emotions behind them.

Donnic covered up a chuckle with his hand as he pulled up two chairs for them at the end of the table. "You certainly made a very memorable first impression, Lady Surana."

Neri groaned as she slumped down into her chair and Anders headed over to her, expression a mix of amusement and sympathy.

Aveline gave Donnic a look as she also sat down. "I don't think you did any permanent damage."

"Right," Donnic agreed. "Nothing that can't be fixed."

"Except for the shoes you threw up on," Anders pointed out as he rubbed Neri's back. "Sounds like those might be a lost cause." She lifted her head enough to glare at him and he smirked.

"Thanks for reminding me, jackass."

"Freckles, what you need is a distraction!" Varric called out. "How about a game of cards?"

"I suck at cards."

Varric chuckled. "You won't get better if you don't practice…"

Neri glared at him too.

"We could play Cards Against The Templars?" Anders suggested, his amber eyes taking on a very wicked glint. Neri's equally lit up at that.

"Yes! I haven't played that since Oghren threw up on all the cards!"

"Good thing we made more while you were at Weisshaupt, then," Anders said, grinning. He pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket and Neri greedily snatched them up, her face alight with mischief and excitement. "I actually added some more to it while waiting for you to arrive here, too, so they're pretty current."

"Alright, what's this Cards Against The Templars game about?" Theo asked watching the two mages a little warily as they grinned and snickered.

"Pff. It's something we invented in the Tower to take the piss out of the Templars with," Neri explained. "It got upgraded when we were with the Wardens so I guess it should probably be called Cards Against A Whole Bunch Of Shit but that's a long ass name." Neri started separating white cards from brown ones. "It's right easy. Everyone gets a bunch of these white cards… and then a brown one is drawn. Those say shit like The Commander of the Grey lost her virginity by… and then all of you throw in a white card with the best 'answer' to that statement or question or whatever. Then we all vote on the funniest one there and that person is the winner of that round."

"Please tell me that 'Commander of The Grey' one is an actual card," Varric said, barely containing his shit-eating grin.

"Of course it is. Just don't tell Ari that," Neri laughed. "We had to keep hiding that card from her. I think I've eaten it twice." She grinned. "So, who wants to play?" Everyone mumbled their agreement and Neri handed everyone a pile of the white answer cards. "The most turned on person draws the first question card, so who's the horniest right now?"

Bela and Yasmin burst out laughing. "Carver's definitely up for that," Bela blurted, snorting hard. Theo barely held back his own laugh as Carver's eyes went wide and his cheeks bright red. Neri snickered and slid the brown statement cards over to him.

"Then shoot, whenever you like," Neri said, her lips quivering with a hard-to-hold back grin. Carver groaned even as everyone else laughed.

"Fine," he huffed. "I'll pick the first card," he said very carefully, flicking through them to pick a good one. Theo thumbed his own cards, quickly glancing at some of the ridiculous answers in his pile. "Got one." Carver cleared his throat. "Varric's latest tale has blank and blank blank-ing against a wall. Pick three cards."

Everyone quietly snickered at that as they looked through their own cards.

"So we just place them in the middle, or?" Bethany asked.

"Give them face down to Carver," Neri said. "He'll need to keep them in their sets of three, then read them out along with the statement again. Then we pick the best answer."

Everyone did as they were told with varying grins and smiles on their faces and Carver started to crack up as he looked through them all. Then his expression dropped into a scowl. "Who the fuck put in Carver and The Grand Cleric wanking against a wall!?" he asked, eyes narrowing as everyone laughed. Neri's laugh was the loudest though and Carver's scowl ended up settling on her, thinking she was guilty.

"Keep reading them out," Neri managed through her giggling.

Carver rolled his eyes. "Varric's latest tale has Bianca and Theo's scarf bitch slapp-ing against a wall."

"What did I ever do to your crossbow, Varric?" Theo asked, grinning. "First I get shot by her, now she's going after my scarf!"

"She must think you're competing for my heart, Hawke."

Carver cleared his throat. "Varric's latest tale has Aveline and The Merchant's Guild farting when a little bit of poop comes out-ing against a wall."

"What!" Aveline cried, as she went bright red. Next to her Donnic guffawed into his drink, his broad shoulders shaking heavily—his laughter abruptly stopped when his Captain turned a cold glare at him though.

Carver started to snicker even before reading the next one, his blue eyes flicking up to Theo's ever so briefly in a way that had Theo's gut tightening. He sighed. "Alright. Let's hear it, brother."

Carver grinned. "Varric's latest tale has Hawke and His Sexy Elf fuck-ing against a wall."

Isabela cackled at that and Theo just closed his eyes, groaning long-sufferingly. Bloody hell. He didn't even want to open his eyes to see Fenris' reaction, not when his face was this red and the room was still filled with laughter, but he forced them back open. The small part of him that had hoped Fenris hadn't realised it was about him was gone as soon as he saw him hiding under his hair, his cheeks flaming.

"Next," Carver said, still snickering. "Varric's latest tale has Theo," he started to crease up and Theo groaned once more, dreading what it would be this time and hating he had two names. "Has Theo and Broody cock fight-ingagainst a wall."

"Andraste's trimmed quim hair," Theo hissed. That time he did see Fenris' immediate reaction: the wide eyes and the tips of Fenris' ears flushed with colour before Fenris started inhaling more of his wine. "My name better not be in there under something like Theodore or Teddy, too," Theo grumbled.

"That's a great idea!" Neri said, flashing him a wicked sort of grin.

"Asinus," Theo and Fenris both muttered at the same time before going wide eyed again and blushing hard. Neri snorted loudly and Theo could hear everyone else chuckling too as he ducked his head, cheeks red.

"Awwww!" Bela cooed. "You even say the same things!"

Theo swallowed down more drink.

"Next one," Carver said, smiling way too smugly still. "Varric's latest tale has Bethany and Varric sexy pillow fight-ing against a wall."

Bethany immediately giggled and Varric spat his drink out before laughing hard.

"Mmm. Now that I'd like to see," Bela purred.

"Meaning you wouldn't have liked to see the fucking or cock fighting, Rivaini?" Varric asked through his wheezy laughter.

The pirate shrugged. "It's only a matter of time until I get to see that all the time, but how often will I get to see you and kitten doing that?"

"Bela," Theo hissed. "That's—fucking hell." He couldn't even think straight. The entire table were now apparently expecting Theo and Fenris to… what? Get together? Fuck. "I flirt with everyone," he groused as he slumped in his seat.

Next to him, Fenris had apparently gotten over the shock and horror of it all and now found it amusing, if the tiny smirk twitching at the corner of his lips was anything to go by. That was a relief. The last thing he wanted was for Fen to get chased off by their insane and obsessed friends.

"Next!" Carver said, already smiling as he ran his eyes over the cards. "Varric's latest tale has The Viscount and The Arishok twerking against a wall," he said with a barely contained snigger.

Something devious curled Theo's lips briefly as he caught the eye of a few others at the table—nobody laughing as they too seemed to have similar ideas as him—before he schooled it back into a slight frown. "What the fuck is twerking?" he asked.

Carver scowled at him. "It's that… butt shaking thing."

Theo's frown deepened. "What?"

"You know… where they shake their butts up and down."

"What shakes their butts up and down?" Bela asked, easily hiding her smirk from Carver.

"Sounds like a weird matin' ritual t'me," Yasmin said, also looking rather confused.

Carver groaned, obviously getting annoyed. "People do. They twerk their butts." He glanced around the table, getting a bit desperate. "You two must know what it is, you wrote the cards!" he complained as he looked to Neri and Anders for help.

Neri shrugged. "I didn't write that one." She glanced at Anders. "Did you?"

Anders shook his head. "I'm pretty sure Oghren did." He rubbed his chin with a finger. "Is it a dwarven thing?"

"No!" Carver cried in annoyance. "It's just twerking."

"Junior, nobody here has any idea what that twerk thing is," Varric said.

"Why do people twerk?" Aveline asked.

"I don't know! They just do, when they feel like it. When they want to be provocative, or something!"

"Wait, so it's a sexy move?" Theo asked. "How do you know it?"

"Theo, be nice," Bethany scolded.

Carver's scowl deepened even as he blushed. "I just do."

Neri cleared her throat, a very wicked glint in her eyes. "As the card holder, Carver, it's your job to explain these things to your audience so that we can properly vote on a winner. We can't visualise how amusing The Viscount and The Arishok twerking would be without knowing what twerking is. Thus, you need to give us a demonstration."

All the colour left Carver's face in a rush. "What? No! I'm not doing that."

"Carver just do it," Bethany said. "I really have no idea what you're talking about."

Yasmin took that moment to lean in and whisper something in Carver's ear. The colour returned to full force to his cheeks, his eyes widening and then she pulled back, smiling. Carver let out a huge huff of air, his body slumping in defeat.

"Fine." He got up from his seat and moved to the end of the table so everyone would be able to see. "It's like this."

"Oh, Carver, lift up your tunic a bit. Nobody can see your butt," Bela helpfully advised.

He groaned, but lifted up the long part of his tunic so everyone had a good view. And then, in front of eleven people, Carver Hawke bent over and twerked.

Theo's laughter burst out of him so hard that he lost his balance and fell out of his seat. He groaned briefly upon hitting the floor, but it turned into a hysterical laugh as he heard everyone else's maniacal outbursts. Carver's included.

"You all knew!?" Carver shouted. Theo couldn't see his face but it didn't matter, it set him off laughing even harder just hearing how utterly embarrassed his brother was.

"Twerking wins!" Bela cackled.

"Agreed," Neri said through a wicked laugh. "That was the best thing I've ever seen."

Fenris' head peered over the seat Theo had abruptly vacated, a smirk at his lips and tear stains at the corners of his eyes. Theo mentally cursed himself for having missed the rare sight of Fenris laughing, before he grinned up at him.

"I can't believe you made me twerk!" Carver bellowed from somewhere across the room.

The others were still laughing too hard to really comfort or apologise and Theo started wheezing again, clutching at his aching sides. Fenris laughed too, that little giggle he always tried to hold back that just ended up scrunching up his face and making his shoulders shake, the one that always made Theo laugh even harder when he got to see it.

Despite the laughter wracking them both though, Fenris offered him a hand back to his seat, and Theo took it. Once righted back in his chair, his belly aching and tear stains down his face, he finally got a proper look at the state of everyone else. Varric was back in his chair, laughing and staring at the ceiling as he wiped at his eyes, his spectacles held out in the other, still steamed up. Yasmin and Bela were clinging to each other and cackling as they twerked, backing Carver up towhard Varric's bed chamber where Carver was now tossing pillows at them trying to get them to stop. Aveline was covering her mouth as she laughed but it wasn't doing much to stop that hearty guffaw of hers from bursting forth now and then, especially when Donnic got hit with a fit of giggles again as Carver started shouting that he'd never twerk ever again. Bethany, like Theo, had apparently ended up on the floor, laughing too hard to get back up again, so now she was just on her back, giggling like mad as she clutched one of the cushions Carver had thrown over the two girls. And Neri, Anders and Kit were a mess of giggle-snorts at the end of the table, with drinks spilled all around them.

Theo caught Fenris' gaze again and the warrior smiled back at him as he wiped at his eyes. In that moment, Theo couldn't help but think that, despite the ups and downs, this was one of the best nights he'd had in a long time. And it wasn't even over yet.

"Next question card!" Neri announced, a fat grin spreading across her freckled features.

 

 

 


	30. Under New Management

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Sorry for the delay, my loves. Christmas snuck up on me and then I was super busy. 
> 
> Anyway. Chapter. I was super tempted to try to write a continuation to the card game as a bonus chapter, but haven't had the time to, so sorry about that! 
> 
> And I'm still lacking motivation so my update schedule is definitely gonna be more infrequent. Real sorry about that. 
> 
> Thank you for the support though. I'm reading all the comments still, even if I'm being super slow at replying.

 

Waking up with his head resting on a pillow of breasts wasn't something he had done for a long while—Neri's tits weren't exactly pillow-sized, after all, but Isabela's were apparently more than enough for both Anders and Neri to sleep on.

He lifted his head and a smile stretched across his face at seeing the two sleeping women sharing the bed with him. Neri was curled up on Bela's other side, her head smooshed against the pirate's breast, and Isabela herself was sprawled out between them, her hair fanned out across the actual pillows, with the dark make-up she wore smudged around her eyes.

It had been a good night. A really good night. The drinking games had been hilarious, especially the card game. And after all the games and drinks, Neri actually had made good on her earlier words and fucked them both.

Anders stretched his aching muscles with a pleased little smile. He wasn't sure what lay ahead for them all today. He had a feeling it would be one of those see where the day takes us days. And that was more than fine with him.

He turned his attention back to the two women sharing his bed and began to kiss his way across the very warm pillow he'd been using. Even in sleep, Bela's body reacted to his touch, her nipple hardening and her back arching just a tad up into the touch. He sucked on that dusky bud, moaning around it, and a soft sigh left Bela's parted lips. Neri stirred at that, her eyes sliding open. Her sleep fogged gaze quickly sharpened upon seeing Anders with his mouth on Bela and a smirk twitched at her lips. She moved her head enough so she, too, could suck on one of those pert little buds, and soon Bela was moaning and beginning to stir.

"That's one way to wake me up," a groggy voice murmured as brown eyes finally opened. Bela smiled at them. "Hello pretties."

"Morning," Neri and Anders both said around their mouthfuls.

"Last night needs to be how I spend every night," Bela said as she stretched her arms and then lowered them so her hands could play through both of their hair.

"You just wait til I get Zev back here," Neri said, her eyes a mix of mischief and wistfulness. "Then we'll have some real fun."

"Ohh Zevran," Isabela sighed out happily. "Where is he now?"

Anders was always flooded with such mixed emotions whenever the Antivan was brought up. Jealousy was definitely there; he wasn't sure if it would ever leave, really. There was also something softer too, something like gratefulness that the elf had been there for Neri during the Blight when Anders had been stuck in solitary. But there was a great deal of uncertainty tied in with all of that. He didn't think even Neri had thought too hard about how things would work once Zev was back—although he was certain she believed he would be back. And if someone as indecisive as Neri was certain of something, then Anders was as well.

"Rivain," Neri said. "I—don't know much more than that." There was something guilty in her expression that made Anders tilt his head. Neri noticed and looked up at him, her ears dropping just a touch. "I chose to come here for you rather than chase a shadow." Her gaze fell away, much of her hair covering her face. Anders reached out, cupping the side of her face and gave her a small smile.

"You'll get him back." And Anders would help her do it, he realised. Jealously be damned, if it made Neri happy, he'd do it.

"I know," she said, her eyes hardening. It looked like she wanted to say more but she turned her head away, a smirk lifting those always smiling lips of hers as she roamed sparkling eyes over Bela's body. "Until he is… we'll just have to make up for the lack of a third wicked mouth in other ways." The Fade crackled around them and then Neri's force magic was rolling over Bela in slowly vibrating waves. The pirate's head fell back as she moaned loudly.

"Bloody balls, I missed that."

Anders chuckled. Yep, he was pretty happy with see where the day takes us days.

…

It had been very reluctantly that Isabela had left them; she'd stayed for at least an hour after saying she absolutely had to go. Neri now sat at the writing desk, her feet up on the desk as she lounged back in the chair with a pad of paper and a quill in hand. Anders was on the bed, half dressed, happily watching her frowning away at the page before her.

"How the piss do I tell Ari I'm going on a Deep Roads expedition?" Neri asked with a frown. Anders smiled and that frown only deepened. "Seriously," she said as she chewed on the quill. "Last she heard…I was gonna come here, get you, then go back to Ferelden to-" She closed her mouth and glanced away.

"To do what?" he asked, the amusement he'd felt melting away, only to be replaced with worry.

She sighed as she looked at him. In one quick motion she pulled her feet from the table and faced him properly. "Well, after doing some stuff—clean up mostly," something flashed quickly across her face but it was gone too quickly for him to identify, "I was going to retire, officially."

Anders sat back a bit, brows arched. He'd known she wanted to take a break, have a holiday, that sort of thing. But with how easily Neri got sucked into things, he hadn't really expected her to ever fully retire—but that was probably the point. Little holidays like this, here in Kirkwall, ended up being very un-holiday-like by the time she got dragged into something. They'd always teased Arietta for never being able to say no to helping others, and yet here they both were doing exactly that.

"Nobody else deserves early retirement as much as you," he agreed.

Neri nodded a little grimly. "Just got a few things to do first…" She dumped the letter back on the side. "I'll figure out what to say to her later. I probably ought to warn her that I've already pissed off a bunch of nobles and the Knight Commander of the Templars here." She sighed roughly, shoving her hair back with her gloved hand.

"I went to the Gallows," Anders said, making Neri blink bright ochre eyes at him in surprise. "I-I saw Karl." Neri hissed in a breath. "I spoke to him, briefly." He couldn't help the smile that touched his lips whenever he thought about it or him.

"What did you say? It's been absolutely years. I can't even imagine seeing an old lover after that long…"

His smile widened. "Hopefully you don't have to wait that many years to see Zevran again. We just… stared, then said each other's names. He looked tense, like talking would be a bad idea, so I dropped my coin purse. It gave us a moment to talk as he helped pick up the coins. I said I wanted to help him, to get him out…but he said not to, that things were too dangerous here for that." He shrugged. "He had to go after that."

"But he looked… alright?"

Anders smiled again. "Yeah. Greyer hair—I'll have to rib him for that, but yeah. Same old Karl."

Neri grinned. "Good." She got up from her chair and came to stand between Anders' legs. Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck as she stared down at him, smile softening a bit. "You know… I know the Knight Captain. I might be able to get you onto Karl's visitation list, if I ask nicely."

Anders bit on his lip. Maker he wanted that. Wanted to see Karl again, properly. But Karl had said that the two of them talking was a bad idea. And he didn't think Karl had meant that in the general sense of the word either. It was Anders specifically who Karl shouldn't be seen talking with, likely because of the damned Tower in Ferelden. There were still idiots out there who believed Anders and the Wardens were responsible for the bombing. He sighed.

"It might be safer not to," he said, shoulders slumping. "I don't want to draw attention to him."

Neri's fingers slipped up into his hair and she tugged his head back so he was staring up at her. "You're probably right. And I probably made it worse by being so antagonistic with Meredith." She sighed. "I'm sorry."

He gave her a small half smile. "S'not your fault. It's the Chantry's and the Templars'." His eyes closed as he felt that old anger stir inside him as it always did, the one that always fizzled out when he realised there was nothing he could really do to change any of it, only this time it still simmered there because the Mage Underground were doing something at least. He hadn't mentioned them to Neri yet—wasn't sure how to, or if the Underground wanted Neri knowing about their work. So, for now he'd hold his tongue about it. It wasn't like he'd done anything for them yet anyway.

"One day," she whispered, referring to the dream they both shared for mage children to be born into a world without fear of magic.

"Just not today," he replied.

She pulled back, expression changing from a sad smile to something more upbeat. "Come on. You can come watch me tell Varric's brother that he's no longer in charge of the expedition, I am."

Anders laughed as he allowed her to pull him from the bed. Everything he had heard about Bartrand suggested that Neri telling him that wasn't going to go over too well. He shoved his shirt and overcoat on and then they were out the door, heading to Varric's suite.

Neri didn't even bother with knocking, just barged in. Luckily, or unluckily as the case may be, Varric wasn't doing anything untoward. The dwarf was just at the table, sorting through a big pile of letters.

"Freckles! Don't you knock?"

"And miss out on seeing something naughty if I did? Yeah right."

Varric snorted. "Ah, a woman after my own heart." Letting the letters drop from his hands, he followed Neri's movements as she went rummaging through his alcohol cabinet. "Something you need there, Freckles?"

"Obviously!" She pulled out a bottle of rich amber liquid and grinned. "If we're going to discuss this Deep Roads expedition, I need to do it not sober." She plonked herself down in the seat next to Varric and uncorked the bottle. Varric arched a brow at him but Anders just shrugged as he came to sit at the table, too. After several long swigs, Neri wiped her lip then put the bottle down with a contented sigh.

"Right. What do you need then, other than coin? Theo mentioned maps."

Varric nodded. "We need to know the entrances in the area so we can figure out which is nearest our location."

"I'll need to ask Ari for them," Neri admitted. "I know we have them at the Keep though."

"Excellent!" Varric said, his copper eyes lighting up.

"Have you got everything else ready? The equipment, rations, spare gear…"

"Bartrand's handling all of that. He assures me he's got everything sorted, just needs more coin and those maps."

Neri scoffed. "Yeah… I'm gonna need to speak to him. Like right now."

Varric only looked surprise for the briefest moment before he smirked. "Bartrand's not gonna like that. He decides who he sees and who he doesn't… just turning up is sure to piss him off." That smirk widened. "I'll get my coat." Neri laughed as she followed Varric up from the table. "Joining us, Blondie?" Varric asked with a hand to his shoulder as he passed him. Anders nodded.

"As if I'd miss this."

"Not worried there might be people dying to see you?" Varric asked, before he shook his head. "Terrible pun, sorry."

Anders snorted, standing and gave a care-free shrug. "I'm not gonna become Arietta," he said. "I'm calling today a day off."

"Can't blame you for that, or for not wanting to miss the shitshow that will be my brother in a few minutes." Anders grinned as he followed Neri and Varric out the door. "Mm. We should probably grab Hawke, seeing as he's the other partner and all. Bartrand doesn't even know about that yet either."

Neri chuckled. "Avoiding that for as long as possible, were you?"

"Freckles, if you had a brother like Bartrand, you'd do the exact same thing."

"I don't doubt it. Still funny though."

…

Theo came to a stop in the middle of the roof, just behind Fenris, panting hard. It hadn't been his idea to run the quickest rooftop route from Hightown's Market to Lowtown, but he had to admit, it wasn't a bad idea. Theo had spent all morning teaching Fenris the route, what with it being the most likely way Fenris would flee from the mansion. And now that the elf thought he had it pretty well mapped out, he wanted to test himself at full speed along it, needing it to be as close to instinctual for him as possible.

"That bend always catches me out," Fenris said, breathing heavily and sounding irritated as he shook his head.

"It's a pain," Theo agreed, watching as Fenris paced. "You wanted the quickest route, though. That's it."

"The quickest route would be to make the jump," Fenris objected, looking up at him with a slight frown, hands on his hips.

Theo exhaled his frustrations. Fenris took a lot more risks than Theo ever would on the route. He'd already cut several parts of the route out entirely by going across more unsafe areas and hoping for the best, much to Theo's heart's absolute horror.

"If you fuck up and break a leg… then there's no escaping the slavers," he explained yet again. "You're better off taking the corner, even if it is awkward and longer."

Fenris shook his head, letting out a rough and impatient sigh. Just thinking about slavers was enough to tense him up, it seemed. Not that Theo blamed him. Even he got like that now.

"Come on, we'll do it aga-" Theo cut himself off to listen as he heard Neri's unmistakable giggling from below. He peered over the edge and, sure enough, there she was with Anders and Varric wandering through the streets. She had a fedora in her hands, which she spun once then flipped and caught on her head. It looked tiny in the nest of curls it was sat on and Theo found himself smiling. Why she had a hat at all, he didn't know, but the others seemed just as amused as he was.

Fenris came to stand at his side and took in the scene below with a slight chuff of air.

"They're heading to my house," Theo said. "I should probably let them know I'm up here rather than home."

"If you must." Fenris turned away and instead stretched out his legs. Theo slumped a bit. He desperately wanted Fenris to get along with Neri and Anders, or to at least feel comfortable enough around them to be civil. As it was, Fenris mostly ignored them. He should be thankful Fenris wasn't ripping their hearts from their chests, he knew, but it was obvious Fenris was struggling to see past what they were to see who they were.

Theo lifted two fingers to his mouth and whistled. A bunch of people looked up at him, but more importantly, so did Neri, Anders and Varric.

"Hawke! There you are," Varric said, grinning.

"Theo! Look at this hat!" Neri cried. "This guy just gave it to me and said thanks for killing the Archdemon! How cool is that!?"

"He gave you a hat for killing an Archdemon?" Theo asked, smiling wonkily.

"No! It's windy down here so I kept eating my hair. He gave me his hat to help then he realised who I was and said thanks!"

Theo chuckled. "It suits you!"

"Thank you, milord," she said as she tipped her fedora. Theo rolled his eyes.

"I cannot believe you just tipped a fedora at him," Anders was grumbling good-humouredly.

"Hawke!" Varric said. "You and Broody wanna join us at the Merchant's Guild? It's about time Bartrand met his partners, and Freckles here is gonna tell him she's running the expedition now!"

Laughter burst out of him and he grinned. "I'll probably be able to hear Bartrand's meltdown from here! But yeah, we were heading back that way anyway. We'll meet you guys there." He waved them off then turned back around to Fenris. "Unless you don't want to see that particular display, of course."

Fenris shrugged. "I go where you go, Hawke."

Theo blushed and had to look away. They'd agreed this morning that they'd spend the day together mapping out the routes and helping out at the mansion—partly so Fenris didn't have to be near the mages but also because those things needed to be sorted. But hearing those words out of Fenris' mouth in Fenris' very sexy voice were enough to his heart thud just a little bit faster than normal. He really couldn't blame anyone for thinking they were a couple. They were literally living together—first at Fenris' house and now at Theo's. Despite all that, though, they were still just friends. Fairly good friends now, Theo liked to think; they'd certainly been through a lot together in quite a short amount of time. But, unless Theo did something really stupid, that's how they'd stay. Friends who shared the same bed and woke up every morning curled up together… He groaned.

"Let's go then."

…

Neri wasn't wrong about the wind. It was definitely one of those blustery early autumn days. It meant that, for once, Lowtown was almost completely clear of smoke, which also meant you could see for miles. Not that the view was anything too impressive. It was nice being able to see the sea from the rooftops though.

Theo led the way, not in any particular rush. He knew this route and his pace was more than enough to beat Varric's slow strides. And after all the running and climbing about they'd been doing, Fenris seemed just as content to walk back to Hightown.

He saw it before he heard it, this time. That damned little cat. "Oh look who it is," he said, stopping some ways away from the evil little fur-ball. Fenris stopped too, brow arched sceptically as he took in the sight of the little fluffy cat now heading toward them and meowing. "Don't give into it, Fenris," Theo said as he rubbed at his still-scratched nose. "It's a ploy."

"A ploy to scratch me on the nose and run off with my dignity?" Fenris asked, amusement lifting his features.

"You are hilarious," Theo deadpanned.

The cat spotted Theo and hissed at him. "See! Evil." It then moved over to Fenris and wove its way about his legs, purring contentedly. "What the fuck?" Fenris smirked and bent down to stroke the cat. It pressed up happily into his touch and Theo glared at them both.

"I always wanted a dog, anyway."

Fenris let out his usual chuff of laughter at that then continued walking. Theo scowled at the cat as it followed them and barely dodged out the way as it swiped at his boot. "I tried to save you!" he hissed at it. He jogged ahead, finally putting enough distance between him and the cat to stop it following them and continued on his leisurely stroll up toward Hightown.

"Given how ridiculous my evening started last night thanks to that cat, I should have known the rest of it would be just as crazy." He glanced at Fenris as they walked side by side. "It was a good night though." A bit of laughter escaped him. "I still crack up every time I think about Carver twerking."

Fenris' smirk was devious and highly amused as he pushed hair blown into his face by strong winds away from his eyes. "Those cards were mine."

Theo stopped dead in his tracks, his mouth falling open. "No!" Fenris' smirk widened and Theo let out some inelegant noise. "Fenris you are fucking brilliant. I could kiss you!" he blurted before realising what he'd said. He tripped over his tongue as he tried to back track. "Not that I would—it's a turn of phrase, is all." Fenris' ears flicked downward. It was the smallest of twitches as the rest of his face slipped back into his usual impassive mask, but Theo still noticed it and got entirely distracted by it.

"Your ears really do move." That, of course, had him thinking about the other thing Anders had said about elven ears being an erogenous zone… He swallowed thickly, nearly choking on his tongue.

Fenris shrugged. "Sometimes."

He walked ahead of the human, willing his features back into their usual emotionless state. It wasn't often his ears moved anymore. That had been one of the first things he'd perfected control over in Tevinter. But he hadn't been able to stop that little downward flick of disappointment just then, not that Hawke realised it as such, he was sure.

With all the recent talk that he and Hawke were… together, Fenris' mind had begun to wonder what such a thing would be like once more. A foolish notion. Hawke had made it clear weeks' past that they were to be friends and nothing more. But still… he doubted many friends shared a bed, even if it was a bed shared out of necessity while Fenris' mansion was repaired; he doubted most friends awoke curled up together. He swallowed thickly, hating how much he enjoyed the warmth of Hawke's body against his, hating it more that he missed it when it was gone.

"How much can they move?"

Fenris let out a quiet sigh. "Little more than yours, I should expect."

"Mmm," Hawke mumbled, clearly distracted. The way his cheeks were flushing, Fenris figured it likely he was thinking about something he shouldn't be. He picked up their pace, hoping that would force the rogue to concentrate on their surroundings a bit more rather than whatever it was he was thinking on.

…

Theo hadn't missed Varric's charming brother at all. And it didn't look like Bartrand was too pleased to see them or to be disturbed as he exited the Merchant's Guild building cursing under his breath as he stormed over to where Varric was standing.

"Bartrand! Allow me to introduce to you our new partners!" Varric said, his grin widening as Bartrand sputtered.

"Partners?" Bartrand spat. He scowled at his brother. "Varric… what the fuck have you been promising these people?"

Varric lifted his hands, all placating and calmingly. "Just equal share of the expedition profits once they bring in fifty sovereigns and maps to the Deep Roads in the area." He smiled brightly as Bartrand's eyes sparkled with interest.

"Let's see it then," Bartrand said gruffly, glancing up at them all.

Theo smiled innocently. "We don't have the gold just yet," he said. "We're working on getting it."

Bartrand scoffed. "You disturbed me to tell me some scruffy human's going to be our partner without a single bargaining chip?" he asked his brother, head shaking in disapproval.

"Actually," Neri said, "we came up here because I wanted to talk to you."

Bartrand scowled up at her, looking even more repulsed than usual. "And what does the knife-eared twiglet want?" Neri's eyes flashed with annoyance and Theo found himself barely able to hold back a smirk. Anders too looked more amused than irritated, both of them knowing full well that Neri could handle herself.

"Bartrand," Varric scolded. "This is the Slayer of the Archdemon, show some respect!"

"Slayer of the…" Bartrand's scowl returned and his shoulders tensed up even more. "Well what do you want, Warden?"

"I'm here to tell you that I'll be in charge of things from now on," Neri said, smiling smugly.

Bartrand laughed, hard, doubling over as he gripped his belly. "Ha! No sale, elf! This is my expedition. I don't care how many darkspawn or tainted dragons you've hacked into. You ain't in charge."

Neri's smug smile turned a little malicious. "It's one hundred paces from here to the Viscount's office," she said. "I don't have to wait for an audience. It would take me a single conversation after that to have permission to set up a Warden base here in Kirkwall. And once that's done… the Deep Roads in this area would fall under my jurisdiction. You'd need my permission to enter those depths. Not to mention the fact that the maps you need of the entrances and tunnels in this area can only be obtained through me…. And your expedition is suddenly no longer happening at all if you piss me off."

Bartrand looked ready to explode, his face red as he opened his mouth to object but Neri cut him off before he could. "It's that, or you let me run this thing—let me decide the safest routes, who goes with us, what equipment we'll bring—and you will have my protection while down there. I can sense darkspawn, I know what to expect from the Deep Roads, and my magic is powerful. You'll stand a better chance of making it to the treasure with me with you and it will be easier to carry it all out of there with my help."

She took that moment to demonstrate her magic, lifting Theo, Anders and Varric up into the air. It was only by a foot or so but it felt weird as fuck to not be able to control his body as her magic wrapped around him and held him there. He glanced down at Fenris who had also tensed up but otherwise looked entirely impassive about the whole thing. Bartrand on the other hand swallowed thickly.

Message clearly received, Neri put everyone down, her smile decidedly smug again. "So, what will it be?"

Bartrand cursed under his breath, head shaking with his anger but then he threw his hand down. "You can be in charge," he muttered. "I ain't sharing the profits between this many people though," he growled as he motioned to all of them.

"That's fine," Neri replied. "I don't care about the profits, neither does Anders. We're both Wardens just wanting to stop your idiotic venture from turning into a massacre. Hawke is your partner and will expect an equal share, though."

Bartrand nodded, sighing roughly. "Get the fifty sovs and the maps and you'll get your share, human," he said up to Theo. "Now if that's everything?" he grumbled. "I've got work to do."

"I'll be by again some other time to interview everyone you've hired so far," Neri said. "See you later!"

Bartrand waved them off, still grumbling under his breath as they all headed out of The Merchant's Guild, barely stifling their laughter. After Bartrand had chewed Theo and his siblings out previously, it felt ridiculously good to see him put in his place—and now, with Neri in charge, he had even higher hopes for this expedition going well.

"Freckles, was any of that true?" Varric asked, unable to keep the grin from his face. "About the Wardens having jurisdiction over the Deep Roads?"

Neri snorted, shrugging a shoulder. "No idea."

Theo laughed along with the others, glad to see even Fenris' mouth lifting in an amused smirk. They headed down the steps, back toward the market. Theo noticed the nobles all glancing at Neri; some looked on with narrowed eyes, like they were trying to figure out if this tiny elf in a loose white shirt and tight leggings with a fedora in her hair was really the Slayer. Those that had already met her started to gossip immediately, not that Neri seemed to notice – she was already distracted again by Varric's chest hair.

"Seriously, you need to join us in bed sometime."

Varric coughed into his hand. "Ahh, Bianca here wouldn't like that at all."

"I can fuck the crossbow too, if it helps. I've done weirder shit."

Varric's eyes widened and he patted his crossbow, head shaking. "Don't you dare, nobody gets to cock Bianca but me," he chuckled. Neri laughed.

"Well, as long as I get to stroke your chest whenever I want…"

Anders cleared his throat. "So, what now?"

"All that talking's made me thirsty," Neri said.

"Hanged Man?" Varric asked.

"Hanged Man," Neri nodded.

 


	31. Revealment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shite. Has it really been like a month, already? 
> 
> More UST for you all as a reward for your patience! she said as she cackled. 
> 
> Thanks for the support, as always, guys. 
> 
> And special thanks to my beta, Lys for tidying up my shitshow of a story XD.

"So, come on Freckles. Did you ever lead a quest yourself?" Varric asked before taking a sip of his drink, his gaze fixed on Neri's.

She scoffed. "Not…often. I mean, I was kind of alone for the whole _killing the Archdemon_ bit. But Arietta was close behind—she just had to rescue Alistair from some darkspawn first."

"So you've never actually been in charge of something?"

Neri's eyes narrowed and she leaned closer to the dwarf. "You worried about me leading the expedition, Varric?"

He chuckled. "Not worried, merely… curious how you've managed in the past. Blondie here made it sound like Arietta ran pretty much everything."

"She did, mostly because I didn't fancy it," Neri said as she leant back in her chair and crossed her legs. "There was one time I led a quest into the woods… But I really shouldn't tell you about that." She sipped from her drink, nose crinkling at the bitter taste. She really missed the drinks Zev and she had always shared—only ever the finest Antivan vintages. Everything here tasted like piss.

"You can't say that and then _not_ share," Bethany complained.

"Agreed," Varric said. "Don't make us beg, Freckles."

Neri huffed out a big sigh and sat forward again. "Alright, but this doesn't leave the room." Just for extra dramatic effect she sent a blast of her magic at the door, slamming it shut. Everyone leaned forward. The twins looking on eagerly, Bela's eyes were bright and interested, even Fenris looked somewhat intrigued next to an engaged Theo. She caught Anders' eye, only just able to hide her smirk as he looked away quickly, barely stopping himself from laughing.

"So, this was easily the most important mission I was put in charge of. Arietta knew it was going to be a bit of a stretch if she went herself given all the other duties she had to juggle at the time. So, I got sent, but it was kind of luck of the drawers, too, because Rafael—the other senior Warden at the Keep—had already been out on a mission and didn't fancy leading another so soon. But it was fine, I wasn't about to get my knickers in a twist over leading an important mission, and it wasn't like I was alone, either."

By this point, Anders had turned a bright shade of red as he tried not to ruin everything with his laughter. Neri kept a straight face as she took a careful sip of her drink.

"Anyway, the mission was simple. I just had to retrieve cargo from deep inside a haunted forest. Cargo that had been lost due to an unknown threat in the area. Cargo that if _not_ retrieved would have a _stark_ impact on the whole of Amaranthine's elite. So, by the time I and the others arrive, the caravan's owner has his panties in a total wad, 'cause, after all, it wasn't a smalls situation at all," Neri said, managing to hide that extra s with a slight slur from all the drinking she had done. Even so, Varric seemed to twitch just a little, like he was starting to cotton on. "He didn't think I would be up for the task and asked for more men to come give him a hand but I told him there weren't pantaloons of men at the Keep who could come all the way down here to help. He kept saying how we clearly weren't underwear of the situation-"

"Freckles," Varric interrupted. Neri smirked into her drink, doing her best to fight the shit-eating grin that threatened to burst across her face. "Tell me you didn't get sent into the woods to retrieve _underwear_."

Anders finally let go and Neri cracked up, their laughter bubbling loudly out of them. Theo snorted loudly into his drink and everyone else let out groans and gasps of annoyance at being had so completely.

"They were silky polka-dot things," Neri explained, still laughing.

"Stark impact," Isabela said, repeating her words and losing it to laughter. "I'll bet!"

"You'll be pleased to know, _all_ missing under-things were recovered," Neri said, grinning. "So no nobles were left with a breeze between their legs."

"Such a relief," Theo muttered, snickering.

"Oh!" Neri cried. "That reminds me! I need you to snog Anders again, I wasn't here when it happened last time."

Theo sputtered on his drink. "Just how did any of _that_ remind you of that?"

" _Because_ Anders was only in his shirt and underwear at the time!"

"I'm not going to-" Anders cut Theo off by leaning over and sealing his lips over the protesting rogue's. Neri grinned as Theo slowly relaxed into it as Anders' hand came up to cup his jaw. They were a beautiful sight—Anders with his shimmering golden hair hanging loosely around still-flushed skin, and Theo with his messy dark hair and pretty beard that Neri was quickly developing an attraction to all on its own.

She might have preferred it if they weren't wearing _quite_ so much, but it was still one hell of a sight all the same. She hadn't watched two men make out for a while now—not since one of the best nights of her life when Anders and she shared a bed with two other, very attractive, Wardens. She moaned a little as Anders fisted a hand in all that wild dark hair and yanked Theo's head back. The muffled moan the rogue let out making her squirm in her seat, wanting to join them.

It was the elf shifting in his seat on the other side of Theo that caught her eye then, though. Fenris was swallowing down his wine, his body tense. Up until now, she'd only really seen Theo ogling Fenris, less so of Fenris showing any interest in Theo. But that all but confirmed it to her. Fenris definitely felt _something_ for Theo and apparently didn't like seeing him with another man.

Neri took pity on him as she shuffled uncomfortably in her own seat. "Alright! That's enough," she called out. "Keep going and I won't be able to sit on this chair much longer without staining it."

Anders broke the kiss with a snorted laugh and everyone else let out various groans around the table, their faces twisting in disgust.

"What?" Neri asked. "I get turned on easily."

"You're not the only one," Theo muttered under his breath as he adjusted himself, cheeks flushed red. He seemed to give Fenris an apologetic look before taking a long swig of his drink.

"I think you're _both_ just permanently turned on," Anders corrected as he settled back in his own chair.

Varric groaned out a sigh. "Good to know…" He rubbed at his forehead. "Well, seeing as I don't trust Freckles not to tell us another bogus story, what shall we do now?"

"Poker!" Bela cried out.

Nobody seemed to object and Varric nodded. "I'll get the cards."

…

Theo should have known that Bela suggesting a game of poker would soon turn into a game of _strip_ poker and yet, despite him losing horribly at poker, he had still decided to continue playing. He was not a smart man.

He was now sans all of his clothes except for his smalls, and incredibly embarrassed about it. He at least wasn't the only one bad at the game—Anders was shirtless and Neri was legging-less. Although she had insisted on keeping her shirt on; Theo suspected it was due to the scarring over much of her body, scarring he had only glimpsed when they were all back in Lothering during the Blight and Neri had needed healing. Fenris had gotten uneasy at her refusal to remove her shirt, probably thinking she was hiding something malicious, until Theo had explained about the lash marks that marred her back. Bethany and Carver had, very wisely, stayed out of the strip version of the game and were happily watching events unfold.

"I seriously cannot play another round," Theo said.

"So you're forfeiting?" Bela asked. There was a very quick lick of her lips accompanying that sentence, a lick that had Theo swallowing thickly.

" _Is_ it forfeiting?" Theo asked.

"I say it is, so it is," she replied, her eyes sparkling with something quite wicked. Theo let out a resigned sigh. It would only get worse if he fought it, he knew.

"What's the forfeit?" he asked.

Bela's lips pulled up into the most terrifying and wicked grin he had ever seen. "Lap dances, for everyone."

He groaned. " _Not_ with my siblings."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Bethany said.

"And mine," Carver agreed. "That's the last thing I need tonight."

"Yeah, I'm with the twins," Varric said. "My active imagination doesn't need to be scarred with images of Hawke's package jiggling about in front of my face. You're a friend, Hawke, but not that good of one."

"Fine with me," Theo said.

"Nobody else is allowed to refuse," Bela said. "And I get the first dance."

Theo spared a glance at Fenris, finding the elf's jaw clenched, skin slightly flushed and his eyes a bit wide. He looked back at the pirate. "How long do I-"

"As long as you like," Bela purred, eyes gleaming. "At least a minute each, though."

With Bela wanting to go first, that meant Theo would need to go over to the other side of the table. Anders, then Neri would follow after that, and finally, Fenris. He swallowed. He'd cross that line when he came to it. Right now he had a lap dance to give to a pirate who was practically salivating at the sight of him, and that was before he'd even stood up to go to her.

Theo had actually done this before, a number of times. Sometimes for coin, other times to keep someone's mouth shut about Bethany, using his looks and body any way he could to buy their silence. His family didn't know that, though. They didn't know half the stuff he had done over the years to keep them all safe and well looked after.

He got to his feet, sighing roughly and hating that he was only in his smalls. He had a good body but this was still a damned skimpy thing to be wearing for something this intimate and in front of his siblings. He was tempted to tell them to leave the room but he suspected this was going to be one of those situations where they didn't _want_ to watch but wouldn't be able to look away, either.

Bela was still sitting in a chair at the table, so once he was behind her he dragged her chair, and her, backwards so she was in the middle of Varric's room. Her eyes raked over him as he circled her and he felt his skin heat with arousal. With a sigh, he began.

Fenris had a perfect view of Hawke's back from his seat. He peered out from behind his fringe, eyes roaming over all that toned musculature, taking in the shift of muscle as Hawke began to move his body. The rogue's hips shook from side to side, then rolled forward suggestively. Hawke's hands slowly slid down the sides of his ribs, down to his hips before sliding back up again, scratching lightly up his abs and chest. His smalls—nothing more than thin, grey cloth—barely went past the curve of his buttocks and the band hung low, revealing the small of Hawke's back and the two dimples either side of it. That tattoo of his, the one across his shoulder of the blood red hawk in flight, shifted with the movement of his arms, bending out of shape as Hawke ran a hand through his hair, shoving the dark messy strands back from his face.

Hawke stayed some distance away from the pirate, teasing her with the roll of his hips; even so, Fenris felt his gut tighten just as it had earlier when the mage had kissed Hawke again. He took a long draught of his wine, hoping the warmth from that would loosen him up somewhat. But as Hawke stepped closer to the pirate, standing between her legs as he continued to rock his hips, that feeling only tightened. It subsided briefly, as Hawke swatted at Isabela's hands, stopping her from groping him, but returned to twisting his gut as Hawke really began to rock in front of her.

He pulled his gaze away, instead focusing on the drink, on the somewhat watery flavours that filled his mouth, with only the briefest hint of red grape. But the wine could not hold his gaze away from Hawke for long, especially as the rogue propped up a leg on the pirate's chair and thrust his hips forward and backwards. With his leg lifted, tight thigh muscles rippling, the curve of his backside was just barely visible beneath the hoisted up smallclothes and Fenris blushed as he watched that cheek shift and move with the rogue's movements.

Fenris swallowed down more wine through gritted teeth as Isabela snaked a hand around to grab at Hawke's arse, both annoyed that she was touching him and disappointed that his view had been blocked. Such thoughts surprised him and he immediately looked away, shame flaming his cheeks.

"Alright! That's your minute done, Bela," Hawke said. The pirate groaned but didn't argue and Hawke moved over to the blond mage. With the chair at Anders' side pulled out and still in the centre of the room with a pouting pirate on it, Hawke had easy access to Anders' side, and that was where he began his next dance.

"Ass or front," Hawke asked with a cheeky smile.

The mage's amber eyes glistened and the smug smirk that twitched at his lips had Fenris clenching his teeth. "Ass. You can twerk for me," Anders said, smirk widening. The younger Hawke male groaned from Fenris' right, but said nothing.

Hawke let out a burst of laughter, shook his head, still smiling and shrugged. "Alright." He turned, giving the hungry-eyed mage his back, and began to dance.

With Hawke side on, Fenris was able to see Hawke's profile and the way his eyes closed as teeth sunk into his lower lip. Fenris briefly wondered who Hawke was picturing behind him as he began to slide his hands down his back. They slipped over the fabric of his smalls and grabbed at his cheeks, squeezing and tugging. The mage moaned, eyes fixed on Hawke's behind as he openly panted at the sight. Fenris once again felt his body stiffen, his fingers curling so tightly around the neck of his bottle, he was certain it would snap if he did not force himself to relax.

Hawke apparently took Anders' comment to heart and bent forward and began to… _twerk_. Fenris' mouth went dry at the sight of the human's hips snapping forward, the thin cloth of his smalls doing little to hide what moved beneath. Those hips bucked, making the muscles of Hawke's meaty thighs ripple with each thrust. The rippling only increased as Hawke dipped his head forward and picked up his pace. All that messy hair fell back in place, hiding the flash of a grin at Hawke's lips from view.

Some small part of him was glad that the mage had chosen to view Hawke's backside rather than the front, the same part of him that tensed ever tighter when Hawke backed up a bit, bringing his rear even closer to the breathless mage's face. It was something possessive bubbling inside him, Fenris realised. Something one only felt about their own property. It had no place here, in regards to Hawke, and yet there it was, twisting inside of him along with something else, something bitter and cold that he'd never been able to name before, until now: jealousy. He was jealous of the rogue dancing for the others, was jealous when they got the touches that Fenris had begun to crave and wonder about. That he was even attracted enough to Hawke to feel those things shocked him and he once again tipped his head back to swallow down more drink.

"That's all you're getting," Hawke announced somewhat breathlessly.

"Fine with me," Anders said, smiling contentedly. "You know, Hawke, you're really rather good. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've done this before."

Hawke scoffed as he moved toward Neri. "Maybe I'm just talented at moving my hips."

"Oh, you definitely are," Isabela purred. She dragged her seat forward so she was sitting next to Anders again.

"Neri, how'd you want it?"

The she-elf grinned. "On the table."

Hawke nearly choked. "What?"

"You heard." Neri cleared the table in front of her and patted it. " _Right_ here."

"Maker's puckered butthole," Hawke muttered. He sighed roughly then clambered up onto the table. He glanced down at his siblings, cheeks flushing with colour. "I am so sorry about this."

"I think I'll move seats," Bethany said, already standing from where she sat directly behind where Hawke was about to dance for the elf. "Fenris, would you swap with me, please? I don't want to sit in my brother's vacated seat seeing as he's not been wearing very much for some time now."

Fenris blinked up at her, certain he saw something wicked flash in her eyes before it was replaced with their usual doe-eyed innocence. Fenris grit his teeth and nodded, not wanting to make a scene of it, and some perverse part of him eager for the change in seat just to see him in clear view of what Hawke was about to do. He pushed those thoughts down as he stood, grabbing his bottle and bringing it with him as he swapped seats with the young mage. He sat down, glancing briefly up at Hawke where he stood on the table, but not finding his gaze as Hawke ducked his head and hid behind his hair.

"Comfortable, Bethany?" Hawke asked through his teeth, a forced smile at his lips.

"Much better," his sister replied cheerfully.

Hawke began his penultimate dance, those long legs of his spread out across the table as he very slowly rolled his hips and then his abdominals, his whole body moving like liquid. His hands fisted in his hair, toned muscles pulled taut as he further mussed those dark strands. The she-elf's gaze darkened as she watched the slow unhurried rotation of Hawke's hips, pupils eating away at the remaining ochre of her irises as they fixed onto a very specific part of Hawke's anatomy.

A smirk pulled up one side of her lips as she leaned forward a bit. "Turn around for me," she instructed. Hawke's smooth and languid movements faltered slightly at her words, hips jerking. There was a pause, a breath exhaled, and then Hawke turned around so that he faced Fenris.

Their gazes caught and Hawke swallowed thickly, his eyes closing as he resumed his movements. Fenris' eyes were drawn to those slender hips, to the slow and sensual way in which they gyrated and he found himself growing breathless at the sight.

He looked down and found Neri grinning at him from her seat, framed perfectly by Hawke's opened legs. She winked at him, a knowing smile at her lips, then went back to watching Hawke. Fenris felt irritation, hot and sharp prickle through him. The fact that his interest in Hawke had been obvious enough to her, a mage, unsettled him. Never mind that she was taking amusement from it, too.

Fenris looked back up at the rogue dancing on the table, his gut warming at the sight of Hawke biting into his lip as he let his hands wander over his chest. They slipped lower, and for one brief roll of his hips, they grabbed a hold of his manhood and squeezed. Fenris bit down on his tongue, drawing blood to stifle any noise he might make in response. He was not used to such little control over his body, having to fight to stay impassive when usually such things were easy for him.

Hawke's dance on the table finally ended and he hopped off of it, running a hand through his hair and ruffling the slightly sweat-licked strands. He finally looked over at Fenris, although his gaze didn't quite reach him.

"How do you-"

"Nuh uh, Hawkey," Bela interrupted. "You haven't actually _lap_ danced yet."

All the heat drained from Hawke's face as he stared at Isabela in disbelief and Fenris tensed, realising just what the pirate was saying.

"Get on with it," she said, caramel brown eyes sparkling with mischief. Hawke swallowed a few times as he looked to Fenris, before he walked over to him, the blush quickly returned to his cheeks. "Push your chair out, Fenny," Isabela directed. "We all want Hawke to have enough space to really move."

Fenris levelled a glare at her before he very stiffly pushed his seat backwards. He could hear the hitch in Hawke's breath as he stood in front of him, readying himself for the dance ahead. Fenris peered up at him through his white fringe, his own breath held as he waited. Hawke's red-amber gaze locked with his, then he moved forward.

He exhaled his breath in a rush as the heat of Hawke's legs closed around his thighs. Even through the fabric of his leggings, Hawke felt hot as a blazing fire and Fenris couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to have Hawke on him like this with no clothing barring the touch of their skin.

Hawke's body undulated in front of him, moving like ripples of water and Fenris' hands came up out of instinct to hold the side of Hawke's legs, wanting to stabilise him should he fall. Having his lyrium infused palms rest against hot thick muscle had him ripping them away as if scalded, and above him Hawke sucked in a sharp breath, his hips jerking roughly. That only succeeded in seeing him surge forward so that his manhood brushed against Fenris' and Fenris barely contained a groan. The rogue above him failed to do so however, the noise slipping out much like a sigh from much-bitten lips.

Hawke leaned forward, letting it happen again with each slow roll of his hips, his head hanging just inches above Fenris'. He was so close Fenris could feel Hawke's hot damp breaths against his face, against his lips. His own mouth opened, mirroring the rogue's expression as he too began to pant. As Hawke's core really began to rotate, the rogue gripped the back of the chair, his arms fully hemming Fenris in and somehow increasing the temperature in the room as he did so.

Fenris dropped his gaze, unable to hold it and found his eyes drawn to Hawke's groin where it brushed against him with each forward roll. He could see Hawke's now-hard manhood rocking forward with each thrust and he swallowed as heat pooled at his core, sweat breaking out across his skin. He forced his gaze upward again, settling on staring at the collarbone he so rarely saw because of Hawke's temporarily-removed scarf.

He felt drunk, so intoxicating was it having Hawke move over him like this, with his panted breath, thick with the smell of ale and mead washing over him, and the scent of Hawke himself underneath, all that honey and almond fragranced soap he was so fond of.

It would be so easy to lift his head and close the gap, to seal their lips together, but a cold chill seeped into his veins as he remembered Hawke's words about not kissing him, about constantly taking things too far. _He flirts with everyone_ , a voice at the back of his mind whispered, _he doesn't mean anything by it_. _He said so himself._ Hawke was just drunk and playing along with the game, putting on an entertaining show for the others. But that only made him want to close the gap between them more, some forgotten part of him always wanting what he couldn't have.

His gaze lowered a little, following the lines of Hawke's body, drinking in those always-moving-muscles as he hid behind the bangs of his hair, content to watch the mesmerising way in which the rogue's lean body moved over him. Some morbid part of him whispered to him that this was all he would ever get.

Hawke's hand suddenly moved from gripping the chair to sliding into his hair to angle his head back, forcing Fenris' gaze back up. A breathy gasp whispered past his lips at the sight of Hawke's nearly black and hooded eyes. There was a ghost of a secret smile at Hawke's lips, a glint in his eyes that had Fenris' mouth going dry at the sight as his body was flooded with warmth. Those dark thoughts began to return but they were abruptly cut off by Hawke's hand moving forward on his head and brushing against the point of his ear. Fenris went from being slightly aroused and a little flustered, to hard as steel in a single hissed breath.

He jerked, his body tensing as the walls went back up. "Enough, Hawke," he bit out. "I'm sure you've satisfied the terms of your forfeit." He hid behind his hair again, utterly embarrassed. And, by the rogue's quick movements off of him, he agreed. Fenris peered up briefly, catching sight of the grimace on Hawke's face before he turned away, dragging a hand through his sweaty hair. The room was silent and Fenris tensed further at feeling so many eyes on him.

"Yeahhhh. We're going to need to burn this chair," Neri said.

The silence of the room broke with several loud laughs and disgusted groans and Fenris sighed in relief that eyes were finally off of him.

"I'm going home," Hawke said as he started slipping his clothes back on, "before I end up doing anything… else." He glanced up at Fenris, looking uncertain. "You coming?"

Bela and Neri erupted into more laughter with the pirate grinning as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Do _not_ turn that into an innuendo, Isabela," Hawke warned, giving her a stern look. The pirate pouted. Fenris nodded and got to his feet, grateful that his _situation_ had lessoned now that Hawke was not on top of him.

"It's getting late," Bethany agreed, also standing along with Carver.

Several goodbyes later, all four of them were out in the blissfully cold Lowtown air. Fenris glanced longingly at the steps that headed to his mansion, but with work still not done—something according to Varric about a spiked pit taking a while to install—Fenris had little choice but to return to Hawke's abode and hope he would find sleep, as unlikely as that was with his mind reeling from the sudden realisation that Hawke might be more to him than simply pleasing to the eye.

Fists clenched, he walked behind the Hawke siblings, hoping the cold air would be enough to cool his heated skin. He wished it were enough to remove those tantalising images from his mind also, but he suspected he wouldn't be forgetting those anytime soon. And some part, deep inside him, didn't want to.


	32. The Right Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long one. Felt weird to split up a quest-based chapter though, so whatevs! Hope you like my version of this one. Do let me know what you think!
> 
> As always, thanks to ElyssaCousland, my beta, to to my readers and commenters. 
> 
> Love you all dearly.

_Fuck_. Fuck. Fuck. Theo was never going to get those images out of his head. The way Fenris had looked staring up at him, lips parted as he panted, dusky cheeks flushed a deep red. The way that gaze had hooded as he drank in Theo's movements. The shock that had marred his face as his hands touched Theo's thighs…

But there was one image in particular burned into his mind that he knew he was going to be hard pressed not to think about _constantly_ : the moment his hand had brushed Fenris' ear, and the elf's pupils had blown wide with lust, turning his big eyes into pools of black. He had felt Fenris go rock hard, his jerk forward only ramming that bulge into Theo's own.

_Maker_.

And now he needed to go home and share a bed with the guy.

_Fuuuuck_.

Well, he definitely wasn't sleeping tonight. He was still turned on, even with the cold evening air washing over him, and he could barely even look Fenris in the eye, so he wasn't sure how he'd be able to _sleep_ next to him.

For the first time in days, he found himself wishing Varric hadn't been so damned elaborate with the upgrades to Fenris' mansion—he knew it was done partly out of guilt that his watchers had failed to give them warning, but it was still taking a frustratingly long time to finish up.

Maybe if he drank enough, he could pass out and then it wouldn't matter that Fenris was sleeping at his back. That would certainly be preferable to feeling warm breath rustling the hair at the nape of his neck, or waking up curled up with him, smiling just slightly at feeling Fenris' arms over his waist and pretending to sleep just so he could enjoy his warmth a little longer before the walls went back up and he forced himself to pull away.

Ugh. He was in so much trouble.

But no matter how much he wanted to act on his feelings, to finally properly snog Fenris breathless, fear stopped him every single time, nearly crippling him with its potency.

Four years on and he still couldn't let anyone else in.

He sighed roughly, his gaze very briefly settling on the elf walking at his side. Fenris' head was bowed, his eyes trained on the ground, every part of him still rigid and tense. Theo had gone too far, that much was obvious. Fenris probably didn't even know the kind of reaction his body would have to his ear being touched, and Theo had gone and triggered it in front of everyone. He wanted to apologise, but no words would leave the tight channel of his throat. So, instead, he carried on walking, hoping they would be able to pretend that the lap dance hadn't happened.

They didn't get far with their walk home before a voice drifted over to them. _Sure, we'll help you_ , someone said softly, with way too much false sincerity. _Step this way and we'll take a look at that money on offer_.

They all sighed and peeked around the corner, spotting a Chantry Sister of all people being led towards a dark alley by several well-armed men.

"Foolish. Very foolish," Fenris muttered.

"We should help her," Bethany said. "Although, Maker only knows what she's doing here at this time of night."

"Probably nothing good," Carver grumbled.

Theo's gut tightened in agreement. He doubted a Chantry Sister would come down here alone; if she had she was an idiot, but if she hadn't… "No magic Bethany," Theo said. "Not in front of the Sister."

Bethany gave him a look. "Shall I hit them with my staff instead?"

Theo rolled his eyes a bit. "Just…stay here. We'll handle this." Or he hoped they'd be able to. He'd been pretty drunk – up until that Fenris-induced adrenaline surge had sobered him right up. With any luck, he'd be sure enough on his feet for a fight. Just to be safe, he readied one of his flasks.

Bethany huffed a bit but waved them forward, and Theo headed in first, throwing down a flask that exploded into a thick cloud of smoke. He disappeared into it and then Fenris and Carver charged in, catching a couple of men rushing out of the smoke off-guard and ending them quickly.

The fight was over before the smoke had fully cleared, and Bethany watched from where she leaned against the wall as the Sister spoke with her brother. That's when the Templar appeared, startling her. He stared her down for a moment and her fingers curled instinctively around her staff, but his attention was snapped abruptly over to the Sister who called out his name. With one final glance at her, he headed over to the Sister and Bethany watched as the two strangers walked off together.

She couldn't help but notice that Theo was giving her a rather pointed look as he walked back to her side. "Now who's glad they didn't start throwing magic around?"

"It's not like the staff on my back is very discreet anyway," she retorted. "What did the Sister say to you?"

"She's got a job for us, said to meet her at her safe house, if we want to learn more." He shrugged. "Beats going home and not sleeping," he murmured.

She smirked, unsurprised that her brother was still feeling rather… affected by his lap dancing, or rather, one dance in particular. And the fact that Fenris had been too only made it extra frustrating that they weren't together yet. She would need to do more plotting with Neri and Bela, she decided.

"Come on then," Theo called over to Fenris and Carver, who were wiping down their weapons and checking the dead men for anything of value. "The safe house isn't far. Let's just hope that whoever she needs taken from the city isn't _too_ much trouble."

"You've gone and jinxed it now," Carver sighed as he rubbed his temple.

* * *

 

Theo hadn't ever seen a qunari up close before, despite there being a whole wrecked ship's worth of them camped out at the Docks. He tended to avoid them, finding their cold squinted stares to be unnerving even at a distance. The one standing placidly before him didn't unnerve him any _less_ , but for once he was able to stare without fear of being skewered by one of their wicked looking spears.

This qunari looked skinny, by qunari standards, his ashen grey skin drawn tight over all that hard and bulging muscle. Theo wasn't sure how the qunari ate at all with the all the wire stitching that had sewn his mouth shut. He could see the dried crusty blood around the creature's lips, no doubt from the times he had tried to speak.

Everything that usually made the qunari look fierce and strong had been removed on this one: his horns trimmed so they barely stuck out from his head; his face and those narrowed eyes hidden away behind a thick golden mask. But the thing that stood out the most was the huge collar encasing his head and sitting on his shoulders, tied with heavy gold chains to the rest of his armour. It marked him so completely as property, and Theo vowed, then and there, that he would never let Bethany near these creatures. The thought of seeing her with her lips sewn shut… He shuddered with anger. That was no way to treat _anyone_ , even slaves in Tevinter were treated better, for the most part.

He felt sorry for the creature, but he still wasn't entirely convinced about this Sister's motives for getting the qunari out of the city. Something in his gut told him there was more to it than her being charitable. And he sure as shit wasn't about to escort an unknown qunari through the undercity without some more back up.

"I can get him out of the city," Theo said, still staring up at the qunari before he forced his gaze to the Sister. "But I need to grab a few friends, first."

The sister's face flashed with irritation. "This is a time sensitive matter, one that needs to be resolved quickly."

"It won't take me long to gather a few more people for the job—it'll ensure _Ketojan's_ safety, something I'm sure is important to you," he replied, eyes narrowing slightly as she shifted on her feet.

"Of course," she said, her lips pursing. "Do hurry though. I cannot remain here all night."

He nodded. "We'll be back in a few."

They exited the small building, the cold wind swirling around them as they got back outside. Theo pulled his scarf closer to his face and rubbed his hands together, wishing that his fingerless gloves weren't so fingerless.

"That poor creature," Bethany said as they started walking to The Hanged Man. "I'm glad we're helping it."

"We may not be," Fenris said grimly.

"What do you mean?" Theo asked, glad that they had a new quest to focus on rather than everything that had just happened in Varric's suite.

Fenris glanced up at him through his white bangs, expression back to its usual impassive self. "If that Saarebas is of the Qun still, then only death awaits it."

Theo cocked his head, confused. "I don't understand, why will he die if we free him?"

"Because the Qun demands it."

Theo frowned at the ground, finding himself more and more confused and disgusted by the Qun with each passing second. "Well, we can't exactly ask him if he's still part of the Qun, so I guess we just have to get him out of the city and then figure things out."

* * *

 

Neri sat back in her seat, grinning smugly as she put her feet up on the table. She had expected strip poker to be fun, but not _that_ fun. Bela really had outdone herself with the orders, and Bethany asking to swap seats had been the perfect final touch.

"Poor boy, I don't think I've ever seen him leave in such a rush," Bela laughed.

"Aren't they sharing a bed at the moment?" Anders asked, a little smirk twitching to life at his lips. "So it's not like he can get away from him anyway."

Varric chuckled. "I had my men do some… extra work on the mansion," he explained. "Not sure how much longer I can tell them it's being worked on for, though. It only needed a new door."

"Mmm. I still owe you a keg of Antivan brandy for that," Bela said as she flicked through her deck of cards.

"So, you're _all_ in on it?" Anders asked, lips quirking in amusement.

Neri shrugged. "It's not an _official_ quest… we're just all helping to nudge things along. Although, with those two I feel like they're gonna need a shove at some point."

"Oh, I like that idea," Bela purred. "I wonder just how much _shoving_ they'll need."

The door to Varric's suite suddenly open and Theo walked in with the others just behind him. "Up you all get," he said clapping. "We've got a job."

"At this hour?" Varric asked with an arch of his brow.

"Yes, at this hour," Theo said, smiling. "We're escorting a qunari out of the city."

Neri's ears perked up at that and she sat forward, her feet returning to the floor. "Qunari?"

"Yeah, one of their mages, the only survivor from a band that got attacked by Tal-Vashoth." He shrugged. "A Chantry Sister is paying us to get him out of the city discreetly so we're going via the undercity."

Isabela scoffed. "Well, _you_ might be, I've got a date with a vintage bottle of whiskey."

Theo gave her a look, eyes softening. "Come on, I need everyone to help with this." He glanced at Neri. "You'll come, won't you?"

Neri sighed and ran both hands through her hair, shoving the thick curls back from her face. Sten had taught her, or tried to teach her about the Qun during the Blight. Honestly, the more she had learned, the more she had realised just how much of an absolute wank-stain the whole thing was. Sten had been alright, for the most part, once he got over the fact that two women were trying to stop the Blight. But she knew what the Qun was like, how it treated their mages, and more importantly, she knew that if this Saarebas was really away from his leash-holder, then he was either a dead man walking or he was Tal-Vashoth. Either way, their evening had just gotten even more interesting.

"I'm not going through the sewers when all I have are a few shirts and leggings, or my very nice Archdemon armour—but I will go via the surface," Neri said. "Which entrance will you exit via?"

"Should be the Vimmark Mountain Pass," Theo said, frowning slightly.

"Bethany, Bela and I will meet you there, then," Neri said as she got to her feet.

"So you get to go for a nice evening stroll while the rest of us fight our way through the undercity?" Theo asked, arms now folding across his chest.

She flashed him a grin. "Consider it a boy's night out."

"I'd rather be lumped with the girls," Anders muttered.

"This better pay well, Hawke," Varric grumbled as he slipped into his coat.

* * *

 

Neri had changed into her armour and cloak, but even with all of that on she still felt the chill in the air as they made their way along the Coast. It was the kind of weather that brought a blush to your cheeks and a sting to your eyes. But it was refreshing at the very least, and gone was any doziness from all the alcohol she'd consumed. Now she was alert and awake and ready for anything. Probably.

Walking with just the girls, it hadn't taken long at all for their conversation to switch from moaning about being dragged out at night when they could be warming themselves up with _other_ things, to discussing Theo and Fenris.

"I give them a week 'til one of them caves," Bela said. "There's no way two blokes can keep it in their pants longer than that when you can cut the sexual tension between them with a knife."

"Agreed," Neri said. "I'll give it two if Fenris moves back to his mansion before then, but otherwise, yeah. A week sounds about right."

"I dunno…" Bethany said, her staff left deep marks in the sand as she used it as a walking aid, the dim orange light from the orb on the top helping to light their way a bit. "Something's still holding Theo back. He never explains exactly what it is, just that he can't let anything happen." She sighed. "I wish he'd talk to us about it. And it's not like Fenris is any better—you saw how he reacted during that lap dance."

"Did we ever," Bela half-sighed, half-moaned.

"Mmm. That was seriously so hot," Neri agreed as she started replaying just how hot Theo had looked on the table over her with his cock swaying about as his hips bucked and rolled. And then again as he danced in Fenris' lap, hips grinding and ass shaking.

"Ugh. Please stop thinking about my brother like that."

"He was so good though!" Neri said, grinning as Bethany groaned some more.

"A talent my brother had that I did _not_ need to know about," she muttered. "I'm so never getting those images out of my head."

"Of course you will. You just need to replace them with images of something _else_ ," Bela said, dusky cheeks lifting with a devious little smile.

"Like what?"

" _Like_ someone doing that to _you_."

Even in the dark of the night, Neri could see the blush at Bethany's cheeks, and she grinned. "It's best when it's someone you're attracted to. You got your eye on anyone at the moment? No men…. Or women?" Neri asked, wiggling her brows. Bethany blushed more and ducked her head.

"I thought about it," Bethany admitted. "About the men…and women I know. But no. There's no-one, at the moment."

Bela sighed. "I do wish you were into me, kitten. I'd show you a good time, better than most men could manage, too."

"Really?"

"Absolutely!" Bela laughed. "Who knows a woman's body better than another woman? Honestly, some of the best sex I've ever had was with the same sex."

Neri nodded, smiling wistfully. "All those soft curves… and the taste! Women always taste nicer than men."

"Elves taste best of all," Bela said, winking at Neri.

Bethany's eyes went wide and she averted her gaze, her cheeks as red as the scarf she wore around her neck, the one that matched Theo's.

"Oh, look at her blushing! I bet the rest of her flushes just as prettily."

"Isabela!" Bethany cried, laughing with her embarrassment.

"Really though—you ever get lonely or curious, my door's always open," Isabela said.

"Mine too," Neri said barely keeping the smirk from her face at Bethany's flustered expression. She ducked her head again, tucking her hair behind her ears and then shyly peered back up at them.

"I do get lonely, sometimes," Beth admitted. "But with everything that's happened… there's just never been time. Being an apostate doesn't help. It's just one more person I have to trust with my secret." She sighed heavily, shoulders slumping.

"Being a mage definitely complicates things," Neri agreed, giving her fellow mage a sympathetic smile.

"I hate having to hide it, hide who I am, always dreading how others will react when they do find out," Bethany said, a frown forming between her brows as she stared at her feet as she walked. "It wasn't so bad back in Ferelden. If the worst happened and they reacted poorly, we could just run again. It was a pain…but it was doable. We can't do that here, not with everyone's eyes set on that mansion. I hate being the reason we have to keep running all the time, the reason we have to be so careful. It's not much of a life." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant, didn't it?"

"Secrets will do that to you," Neri said, walking at her side and offering her an understanding smile. "Sometimes you just get so fed up of them and want let them all spill, consequences be damned."

"Being a Warden, you must have a lot."

Neri shrugged a shoulder. "I'm used to it by now."

Garnet eyes watched her face, searching. "Do you hide things from Anders then?"

"I do, yeah, but only because of-" Neri yelped as she suddenly went flying forward as she tripped on something and ended up flat on her face in the sand. She rolled herself over, spitting sand out of her mouth and untangled her legs from whatever it was they'd gotten stuck on, only then realising just _what_ that thing was. "Ah, balls."

"Is that a-"

Isabela groaned. "Double balls."

Neri crawled over to the figure lying face down in the sand and, with some effort, rolled him over. She didn't know the qunari now staring up at them with dead eyes, but the very fact that there was a dead qunari on the path leading down to the Vimmark Mountain Pass at all probably wasn't a good thing.

"Look at this," Bela said, pointing to something in the sand. Bethany waved her staff over it and willed the orb to brighten, illuminating several deep marks in the sand. The pirate sighed. "Bloody horn-head got dragged here."

"Great," Neri snarked, as she got to her feet and dusted the sand off of her armour. "No chance he dragged his dead ass there himself?"

Isabela scoffed. "Qunari might be tenacious but I don't think they're quite _that_ tenacious, pet."

"So what does this mean?" Bethany asked, looking between them both worriedly.

"Probably nothing good," Neri muttered. "Come on."

* * *

 

Theo hated the Undercity. It was such a foul-smelling place and yet you couldn't walk ten paces before bumping into the next group of lowlifes. This particular group looked fairly well armed and was almost entirely made up of ginger-haired men.

"Look at this, Undercity's feared by all but there's no shortage of fools with coin who want to test it," one of the men said, presumably the leader. His orange hair hung limply around his face and the droopy moustache did nothing to make the rest of his face look very attractive.

Theo smirked a little maliciously. "Funny, most people I know think the Undercity is a foul place, but apparently Kirkwall's criminals have all lost their sense of smell. Why else would they all congregate down here?"

Droopy snarled and then looked at the Qunari at Theo's side. "What's this thing collared like a dog-lord's bitch? You some sort of Qunari lover? Maybe I should get rid of you and see who'll pay the most for your pet."

Until now, Ketojan had barely done anything but quietly follow them through the warrens, his chains rattling with each of his heavy footfalls. But he stepped forward and growled at the leader at that.

Another ginger-haired man shifted on his feet, looking concerned. "Uh, I don't think it likes you threatening its master. Maybe we let this one pass?"

"The best thing I've heard come out of any of your mouths so far," Theo said.

The leader stepped forward until he was just a foot away from Theo, spouting off some bullshit about Fereldans running Free Marchers into the sewers, but Theo didn't miss the knife he pulled from his back, and he tensed, readying himself to grab the knife he had hidden in his glove.

The Qunari suddenly surged into action, punching the air. A wave of magic blasted outwards in all directions and Theo found himself thrown backwards, body flailing and twisting in the air, until he smacked right into Fenris. He slammed into him so hard they both went flying into the dirt, with Theo landing on top of him, their faces an inch away from one another's. Fenris' eyes were wide with surprise, just as Theo's were as they stared at one another. He could feel Fenris' hot body under his, feel how they slotted together, their hips touching… It was Fenris' face twisting into a grimace that got Theo moving, scrambling off of him and back to his feet though, worried that he'd hurt him. That's when he realised why Fenris was in discomfort at all; the qunari was still casting, throwing the men about and crushing them.

"That's enough!" Theo cried a bit breathlessly. "Ketojan, stop!" And the Qunari did, with a growl. "No more magic, you hear?" The qunari growled again.

Fenris got to his feet, lips curled as he rested hands on his knees and panted. Theo touched his shoulder, face twisted with worry, but Fenris shrugged him off.

"I am fine, Hawke."

"Sorry," Theo muttered as he pulled away, his hand curling into a fist and dropping to his side. He turned his attention back to the qunari, head shaking. "I appreciate the… gesture. But I was well aware of the knife he'd drawn."

The qunari growled and Theo sighed, rubbing at his temple. "Well, that conversation's going nowhere, I say we move on." Varric, Carver and Anders all nodded as they dusted themselves off, all watching the qunari warily and Fenris gave him a nod, straightening his back as that impassive mask slipped back on.

Theo led the way forward, trying not to think about just how much of Fenris' body he had touched now. Maker, he was so screwed.

Lucky for them, there didn't seem to be as much trouble in this part of the Undercity, possibly because they were nearing the exit or those that were around had scarpered off upon hearing the sounds of fellow lowlifes getting slaughtered.

"You know, Hawke, you're really going about this whole money making business all wrong," Anders said. "Instead of traipsing around the undercity you could be up in Hightown at The Rose giving lap dances or stripping for coin. You'd make more doing that in a night than you've made since meeting Varric."

Carver groaned. "My brother the stripper, how charming. I'd never be able to step foot in The Blooming Rose ever again."

Theo snorted. "It's not worth it anyway, it doesn't pay _that_ much."

"Oh?" Anders asked, humour tinging his voice. Theo winced. "Sounds like you've already checked what they pay."

"Or already _been_ paid," Varric said, with interest.

"You what?" Carver spoke up. "There's no way…"

Theo hid his face from them, but that alone was enough of a giveaway.

"Hawke, you didn't!" Anders half-cried, half-laughed.

He really needed to learn how to bluff at some point. He turned to face them, sighing roughly. "It was back in Lothering and you really don't need to know the reasons for me doing it."

Varric scoffed, copper eyes bright now that he'd gotten hold of a new story. Theo could already see the chapter title in Varric's book: _Hawke Uncovered_.

"Maker, you really… for who?" Carver asked looking utterly disturbed.

"It doesn't matter who and it was never quite like last night," he said with a brief glance at Fenris. He swallowed. "It was just for coin or discounts, no big deal."

Carver blinked at him. "I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't," Theo said. "I kept it from you all on purpose and I would _really_ appreciate it if Bethany and mother didn't find out about it."

Carver nodded a little numbly, suddenly quiet and lost in thought as he followed Theo down the passageway.

"You're not the only one who's done that," Anders piped up. "The reason I got so far with my escapes from the Circle was because I was good at pleasing people. Sure, I had my magic, but not everyone wanted healing. Never failed to get me a warm meal and a bed for the night."

"Sounds like you fucked your way across Ferelden, Blondie."

Anders grinned a little smugly. "There were a lot of lonely men and women out there who'd happily help me reach the next town, after a bit of fun." He shrugged. "Ended up working at the Pearl to earn coin too, hoping I could catch a ride on Isabela's ship. Never got the chance to though. Templars found me in bed with a few other people, dragged me out of there mid-fuck."

Theo stifled a groan at that at the images bubbling to the surface of his mind. The last thing he needed was to get turned on all over again. Anyone would think he was a randy teenager instead of the nearly-twenty-three year old that he was.

"Lovely," Carver grumbled.

"What about you, Broody? Ever have to do anything like that on your flight south?"

"No."

Theo smiled, laughter tickling his throat, barely being held down. He loved how utterly deadpan and dry Fenris could be. How unexpectedly funny he was. He cleared his throat and swallowed down his laughter so he could instead focus on the path ahead and getting them all out of here safely.

* * *

 

"Oh look, more footprints," Bela said. "Definitely Qunari."

"That's a whole lot of them heading right for the Pass," Bethany said worriedly.

"They're going to find the others with _their_ Saarebas," Neri said, letting out a frustrated groan.

"What will happen then?" Bethany asked, her big garnet eyes framed by frowning brows.

Neri chewed on her lip a bit, foot tapping on the ground. "Well, they'll want their Qunari back but doing that… it means certain death for the Saarebas, if I'm remembering the Qun correctly."

"Why would they do that?" Bethany asked, scowling. "Track it down just to kill it?"

"Because they shit themselves at out of control magic," Neri sighed. "I'm more worried about how big of a group this is, and how badly Theo is going to piss them off when he refuses to hand over the Qunari to them, because he _will_ refuse." He was too good-hearted not to. If there was even a chance this Qunari didn't want to be part of the Qun anymore, then Theo wouldn't see him handed over and slain. Which really did leave them with a single possible outcome now.

"It'll end in a fight," Bethany realised, echoing Neri's own thoughts.

"Just what this night needed," Bela grumbled.

"Let's just…find those qunari, then we'll figure out what to do," Neri said as she stepped over yet another dragged-into-place qunari corpse.

It wasn't much farther down the cliffside path until they heard the tell-tale signs of activity—weapons being sharpened, low murmurings and the crackle of a fire. Bela peered around the edge of the cliff, stilled, then turned back around.

"You know, I'm suddenly feeling rather tired, you girls can handle this without me, right?" She started to walk back down the path but Neri grabbed a hold of her.

"Oh no you don't," she whispered. "How bad is it?"

Bela groaned. "Bad. At least thirty of them – all armed and angry looking."

"Alright, I'm going to go say hi," Neri said.

"What?" Isabela and Bethany both hissed.

"I know some Qunlat," Neri explained. "Enough to start a conversation…"

"And if they don't want to talk at all?" Bela asked.

"Then…be ready to attack," Neri replied.

"Be careful," Bethany whispered.

"But the danger's half the fun." Neri winked then disappeared around the corner.

Bela hadn't been kidding about the amount of Qunari, their equipment, or their mood. They looked pissed. Every single one of them straightened or stood as she approached with her hands held up in the universal sign of _I come in peace_.

"I am Surana the Slayer," she called out, watching the qunari carefully as she walked forward, keeping her back to the bluff. They moved, gathering in a semi-circle in front of her. "One of your Sten named me Kadan during the Blight. Will you let me speak?"

The qunari that appeared to be the leader stepped forward, head tilting and eyes narrowed through the strange grated helm he wore. "Shanedan," he said, giving the barest hint of a nod.

She dipped her own head in thanks, her gaze briefly flickering to the cave entrance on the other side of the beach. She wasn't sure if it was worth trying to negotiate and get permission to warn Theo or whether it was better to keep everyone's attention and hope the boys arrived just as all the qunari had their backs turned to the cave entrance. She'd just have to see how malleable the qunari proved to be. Ah, a malleable qunari – that would be quite a sight.

"You seek a Saarebas, do you not?" she asked. That got the attention of a few others, and made the one closest to her stiffen and narrow his already narrow eyes at her.

"What do you know of the Saarebas?" the leader growled at her as he took a threatening step forward.

"I know that he was 'rescued' by a Chantry sister and then escorted out of the city by a group of hired men. Men that don't know the way of the Qun and have simply been paid to get the Saarebas out of Kirkwall unharmed."

She could see the leader's lip curl in disgust. "Where are these hired bas now?"

Trying to hold this conversation and all of their attention didn't seem like the best of plans, so she went with her other one. "As far as I know, they haven't exited the undercity yet." She nodded at the entrance behind them all. "They should be coming out of there with your Saarebas very soon."

The qunari nearest the entrance lifted their weapons and started walking toward it. "Not so fast," Neri called out. "As I said, these hired men are not educated in the ways of the Qun. They were paid to protect the Saarebas and get it out of the city… and they will do that, unless I inform them of the situation."

"You would go to them, Kadan, and tell these bas to hand over property which is not theirs, and they would listen?" the leader asked.

"You let me speak because of my status," she said. "They will too." The Qunari looked like he was considering her words as he paced in the sand. "They're just doing their job, same as you," Neri urged. "Let me avoid any further bloodshed; it is enough that you lost an entire Karataam already, Arvaarad." She really hoped she was getting these words right. Fucking bullshit Qunlat. But this guy definitely looked like the leash-holding type, to her.

The Qunari nodded again. "Na'thek. As you wish."

"Thank you."

The large group parted for her and she walked through the middle, doing her best to keep her breathing under control. She'd forgotten just how _tall_ they all were, and how muscled.

She climbed the slope that led to the cave entrance, the sand shifting under her boots. And then she heard footsteps. She glanced up and found Theo's surprised eyes looking at her. _Piss_. She should have gone with plan A.

"Neri!" Theo said, grinning, then he caught sight of all of the qunari no doubt now watching them and his expression dropped. "You brought friends."

"A trail of dead qunari leading right to this spot did, actually."

Theo's expression darkened. "What?"

She ignored him and met Anders' gaze instead. "Looks _stormy_ , doesn't it?" Her lover frowned as he stared up at the clear starry sky and then he twigged, giving her a nod. The qunari started shouting something again and Neri sighed. "Two options: hand over Ketojan to be killed, or fight all of them so he can choose his fate on his own," she whispered. "Pick, fast."

Theo blinked at her, then his features settled into a grim looking scowl. "The second."

Neri nodded. "Be ready to fight then," she muttered before turning back around and smiling brightly at the qunari.

"It's all good!" she called out. "Look, there's your Saarebas." She walked forward, wanting them to gather in front of her again. They did.

"Basra vashedan!" the qunari called out to Theo. "I am Arvaarad and I claim possession of Saarebas at your heel."

"He's a person, asshole, not property," Theo shouted back.

Arvaarad had time to growl and clutch his weapon before Neri sent him and his fellows flying across the ground into one giant qunari dogpile. There were limbs sticking up in all sorts of odd angles, the whole thing looking really uncomfortable, and then thunder crackled overhead making Neri's ears pop as the pressure in the air changed. Anders' lightning hit the ground hard and fast and it was accompanied by several massive fireballs that could only have belonged to Bethany. The ground shook with the force of the impact of such strong magic and qunari were flung in every direction by the blasts. Neri's nose crinkled at the stench of charred flesh, her ears twitching from the dying screams of several of the qunari, but she didn't have time to feel sympathy for them as several began getting to their feet, their faces twisted with anger.

She separated as many as she could into smaller, more bite-sized groups so that the boys would have an easier time of it, and then they were all charging in. Carver rushed down the hill at her right, moving across the beach to join up with Bela who was rushing down from the other side to attack a group of seven slightly dazed and injured qunari, and Theo and Fenris rushed past to her left, taking on the bigger group of twelve. Neri sent blasts of magic at several of the hornheads, knocking them back on their arse for good measure and Varric sent bolts into a couple more, slowing their movements down.

Isabela disappeared into a cloud of smoke somewhere to Neri's right, leaving Carver fighting most of the qunari on his own until the pirate no doubt reappeared, so Neri threw down another force spell, knocking a bunch of them over for Carver to cleave into.

"Barrier!" Anders hissed and Neri barely got the blue bubble over herself before a qunari bolt slammed into her, making her barrier shimmer. She picked that archer up with her magic and slammed him back into the sharp rock of the cliff and even from across the beach she heard his head crack, before she let his limp body drop to the ground.

Another three qunari ran at her and she tossed them all up into the air and held them there. She glanced over her shoulder at Anders and smiled sweetly. "Do you mind, love?" He rolled his eyes but cast the spell anyway. Ice shot out from the sand in huge jagged shards, the bright white blue crystals catching in the moonlight, and Neri flicked her wrist making the three qunari she had suspended in the air crash down onto those ice spikes, all three of them getting impaled. They gurgled as they died, their blood running down the edges of the ice to soak into the sand.

Two qunari who'd been burned badly by Bethany's spell charged up the path toward where she was casting, and Neri saw the panic on the young mage's face. She cast an ice spell, hitting the leg of one and tripping him, but the other still charged at her, forcing Bethany to run back down the path, out of sight from the beach.

"Pissing bollocks," Neri hissed as she charged across the beach after her and the angry qunari. The one that Bethany had iced was just getting to his feet as Neri reached the path and she sent a blast of magic at him, tripping him over again as she ran toward him. Then she drove the bladed end of her staff down into his neck and carried on running, not bothering to pull the staff back out. She rounded the corner full speed, sand flying everywhere in time to see the second qunari dying in a surge of fire. His body dropped to the sand, still burning, and Neri met an unharmed Bethany's gaze with a relieved smile.

"Nice," Neri said, smiling widening.

They headed back to the beach, Neri collecting her staff from the dead qunari as she walked down the path, finding the remaining qunari being finished off by Varric and Fenris, the rest dead. The beach looked like the Void itself had shat all over it. Corpses everywhere, all of them mangled by magic or ripped to shreds by blades, the beach itself soaked in blood and guts. She walked through the carnage, checking over her companions. Carver and Bela seemed to have minor injuries which Anders was already sorting out and Theo was heading over to the water with the Saarebas who was apparently now free and able to talk. She headed over to them, already suspecting what would happen next.

"I do not want to die. I want to live by the Qun," the Saarebas was saying, and Neri sighed.

"That's the same bloody thing," Theo muttered, shaking his head, his shoulders tensed.

"Yes, is that hard to grasp?"

"Just a bit," Theo said through his teeth.

Neri walked away after that, not wanting to watch the qunari off himself. It made her angry just thinking about it. That there was an entire nation that leashed mages and brainwashed them into thinking they were nothing but a chaotic danger was just absurd. She headed back over to Anders who gave her a small smile upon seeing her. She plonked herself down on a rock, sighing heavily.

"What are they talking about?" Anders asked.

"Just more qunari bullshit," she muttered. "Watch, you'll get a front row seat to see what the Qun does to its mages, in a moment."

"What do you mean-" Anders' question died the moment the Saarebas set himself on fire. Theo staggered back from the sight, a hand on his mouth as the Qunari dropped silently to his knees, the flames engulfing him. "Of all the ridiculous, spineless, mind-controlled, senseless piece of shit things," Anders hissed under his breath.

"He chose the Qun, then," Fenris said gravely, watching the flickering flames.

"Yes."

"Maker," Bethany breathed out. "After all that, he just kills himself?"

Varric looked away, head shaking. "Wouldn't have been my first choice in ways to go, either."

Theo stumbled back toward them, his face pale. Bethany went to him, taking his hands in hers and squeezing. He looked at her but it didn't really look like he was looking _at_ her.

"Let's go home," Bethany said, trying for a smile.

Theo immediately shook his head. "We need to have a chat with Sister Petrice, first." His gaze flicked to Neri's. "You said a trail of bodies led those qunari here?"

"Yep. The whole thing was a set up."

"What was the point of all this?" Anders asked, an irritated frown flashing across his brow.

"I intend to find out," Theo said darkly. "Come on."

* * *

 

Theo's mood was very dark by the time they finally reached the familiar streets of Lowtown once more. He had known something wasn't right about the whole job, something in his gut warning him that there was more to it than a simple escort mission, but seeing that qunari all chained up like that, a slave, he'd ignored his instincts and helped anyway. For all the good it did. He shuddered. He'd never seen someone kill themselves before. He hoped he never would again. Maker's wrinkled ball sack. That Saarebas hadn't even made a single sound as he burned himself alive… He shook his head. There was no point thinking on any of that, on how helpless he'd felt. He focused instead on his anger. The whole thing had been a trap—that _Sister_ had put them all in harm's way. Bethany and Carver had been with him, if anything had happened to them because of _her.._. His fingers curled, clenching into his palms.

They reached the safe house a moment later and Theo kicked the door open, startling the Sister and her Templar pet as they set about clearing the place out.

"Hawke!" she said, eyes wide. "It was Hawke, right? You…took the qunari from the city? Without incident?"

"Oh, there was an incident," Theo growled. "Probably not the sort you were hoping for though."

"Mind your tongue, boy," the Templar snarled.

"Please," the Sister said. "Do speak your mind."

"You left a trail of dead qunari corpses right to the exit we'd use. A trail another group of qunari followed to that spot. All in hopes those qunari would slaughter us, thinking we were the ones who killed their fellows, am I right?"

Petrice's lips pursed. "A massacre of citizens protecting a slave might have forced the Chantry to doubt appeasement, to see the qunari for the monsters they are." She shifted on her feet a little. "Perhaps finding the mage was a rushed opportunity. If such a plot existed, I can see why it might be…disagreeable to you."

" _Disagreeable_ ," Theo hissed, stepping forward. "You put us all in danger, sent us into a trap against thirty well-armed qunari all so you could change a few opinions," he spat. "I wonder what the rest of your Chantry brothers and sisters will think of that?"

She lifted her head, eyes narrowing. "It would be your word against mine, and seeing as you are nothing but a Lowtown thug-"

"Actually, he's not," Neri suddenly said, stepping forward from the back of their group and pulling her hood down. Theo smirked smugly as all the colour drained from Petrice's face. Neri walked forward, lip curled with her anger. "He's my friend, and by jerking us all about like you just did, you've gone and made _me_ mad."

Petrice swallowed and backed up a step. "That is…unfortunate." She tilted her head slightly, those shrewd eyes of hers glistening in the dim firelight. "Surely, you yourself, being a mage, must despise the qunari though? You've seen what they do to their mages, would you really continue to let them live within our city, knowing that they'd collar you given half the chance to?"

"I'm not a fan of the Qun," Neri growled, "but starting a war with them isn't gonna do anyone any fucking favours. And you can get the fuck off your high horse because the Chantry is just as bad as the Qun is when it comes to mistreating mages."

Petrice opened her mouth to retort, her scowl deepening but Neri cut her off. "Don't even fucking talk. You ever endanger anyone I care about again and I will show you why they really call me the _Slayer._ Now get out of my sight—and pay Hawke everything you have on you for the trouble you put him through."

The Sister dumped her entire coin purse into Theo's hands, glaring, and then left the safe house with her Templar trailing close behind. It wasn't until that door closed behind her that Theo relaxed a bit.

"Nicely done, Freckles," Varric said. "I doubt it's the last we've seen of her, but still, felt good watching her face pale at the sight of you."

"That Slayer part was a nice touch," Bela agreed.

Neri sighed. "Hopefully she doesn't go telling the Grand Cleric about this. I don't need people thinking I'm threatening Chantry Sisters."

"Ignoring the fact you _did_ just do that," Varric said, smirking, "I doubt she wants anything to come down to your word versus hers."

"Exactly," Bethany said. "She's a nobody compared to you."

Neri nodded. "I'm gonna go have sex now. Door's open if anyone wants to join us."

"Maker's breath, Neri," Theo mumbled, a breath of a laugh following it.

She flashed him a grin then headed for the door. They all followed, back out into the cold night air and the stillness of Lowtown at this hour. After a few goodbyes and an agreement to maybe meet at The Hanged Man after lunch, they all went their separate ways. Theo found himself lingering on the steps to his home, though, not wanting to sleep yet.

"You coming, brother?" Bethany asked.

"I will, I just need a moment…"

Bethany nodded and she and Carver went inside. Fenris however hovered at the doorway, same as him, obviously not sure if he should go in or not.

"I still can't believe he killed himself," Theo said as he sat heavily down on the top step. For once, he heard Fenris shift behind him before the elf decided to join him on the step.

"The Qun demanded it," Fenris said with a shrug.

"That's so fucked up." He ran a hand roughly through his hair, fisting the strands. "They fear magic so much they keep their mages collared and leashed and brainwash them into believing that them ever going off-leash even for five fucking minutes means they could be possessed. That's absolute fucking bollocks. It doesn't work like that, but that Saarebas believed it so completely."

"He had likely been taught it his entire life, perhaps even re-educated a few times if he ever questioned it," Fenris said.

"But he didn't even question it then. How long had he been off his…leash? He didn't turn into an abomination. But he didn't even _think_ , he just followed the Qun and _killed_ himself. I can't imagine following anything that blindly."

"You have never been a slave," Fenris said with surprising softness. "He made as much of a choice as he could within that mind set." Theo glanced at Fenris, finding him hidden mostly by darkness or white hair, his back dead straight and his hands resting on his knees. "A servant may choose which job she does first—clean the floors upstairs or sweep downstairs. He chose how he would return to the Qun, you and Neria _gave_ him that choice instead of handing him over to be executed."

Theo shook his head, sighing. "So you think I did the right thing?"

"I do."

"He gave me a title, before he… you know. Called me Basvaarad."

"Worthy of following," Fenris translated. "Appropriate," he said with a small smile of approval.

"I guess I must be, if you've stuck around as long as you have," Theo replied, smiling wryly.

There might have been a twitch of a smirk at the elf's lips but it was gone too quickly for Theo to be sure. "Perhaps I just like the view."

Theo scoffed and a cheeky grin graced his face for a moment. "Even when that view is dancing right on top of you?"

Fenris blushed and cleared his throat.

"I, uhh, meant to apologise about that," Theo said. He scrubbed at his forearms, warming them as a chill that had nothing to do with the weather settled over him. "I went too far, past what you were comfortable with. I didn't mean to-"

"It was merely unexpected," Fenris admitted. Theo watched Fenris' throat bob as he swallowed. "I have never been given a lap dance before. It was quite the…experience."

"An experience," Theo laughed. "That's one way of putting it." Fenris' lips twitched with amusement and Theo found himself smiling. "So, we're okay?"

"We are."

Theo let out the breath he'd apparently been holding with a relieved smile blooming across his lips. "Well, thank fuck for that. Going to bed with you would be really awkward otherwise."

Fenris snorted, head shaking despairingly and Theo got to his feet, clapping a hand on Fenris' shoulder. "We really should try to sleep. Maker only knows what we'll get dragged into doing tomorrow."

Fenris stood, a hand ruffling at his white hair. "It's certainly never dull with you, Hawke."

Theo smiled, greatly relieved that he hadn't lost his friendship with Fenris, and opened the door to his home.

 


	33. Troubled Mage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Got stuck in the world of Horizon Zero Dawn.

Neri didn't give a fuck that it was nine in the bloody morning as she drank her third mead. For three days now she had been doing nothing but visiting nobles, going to dinner parties and balls and meeting a never-ending list of important people. She was sick of brightly coloured dresses and cups of tea and frilly fucking cakes. They just had to make everything a fucking spectacle, every single noble trying to outdo the ones she had visited the day before. It was absurd. And she hadn't thought _anything_ could get more absurd than that fucking Archdemon piñata.

She guzzled down more of her drink.

She had told the Viscount that she would strangle the next noble who talked to her—they could be saying thanks for killing old Archie and she would still strangle them because she was just so fucking _done_. The Viscount had been rather alarmed by that and had made it known Neri would be on Warden business for the foreseeable future, so that was the end of that. She was finally free.

According to Varric, everyone else had been just as swamped with menial tasks and obligations the past few days as she had. The dwarf had been stuck sorting out expedition stuff and dealing with the Merchant's Guild in general, which he assured her was _great_ fun. Aveline was being Aveline. Bethany and Anders had been at the clinic, dealing with patients and slowly improving Bethany's skill with healing. Carver had apparently been out job hunting since Aveline had, in Carver's own words, 'bloody blocked him from ever being a sodding guard'. And she knew Theo and Fenris had been learning the routes of the city—something about wanting Fenris to be able to escape from slavers should another attack ever happen. Neri still hadn't heard all of _that_ story yet. She made a mental note to ask Anders about it later, when she wasn't trying to get wasted before midday.

"Want me to just line them up for you?" Anders asked, his brow arched sarcastically. It did that sometimes. She gave him a look that said _obviously_. He snorted, shaking his head. "They can't have been that—actually never mind. The answer to that's always yes."

"Yeah. It is and they were."

She tossed back the rest of drink number three, her eyes already scanning the room for either Nora or Corff to get her a refill, when her gaze rested on a much prettier sight. It was the elf, from before, Giselle or whatever her named had been, the one Neri'd met the night she had arrived in Kirkwall. The Antivan one with the silver hair and dark caramel skin. She was sitting all alone at the bar, picking up the meat on her plate with a very sharp and lethal looking knife, before poking the morsel into her mouth and chewing. The elf did all of that while reading a letter, meaning she wasn't even looking at where that sharp knife was going every time she put it to her mouth. _Rogues_ , Neri thought with a shake of her head.

Anders, having apparently followed her gaze, hummed in approval. "Not usually your type."

Neri scoffed. " _Everyone's_ my type." She grinned at her lover and it only widened at the amused smile that curled his lips in response. "That wasn't actually why I was staring, though."

"Oh? Do tell."

"She was the one who helped lead me to The Hanged Man when I got lost that first night. She's Antivan and there was something about her…" Maybe it was just the Antivan thing that bothered her about the elf, or the fact that she was armed to the teeth and hard to read.

"Something…?"

"I dunno, something off. Like she was willing to chat one moment but then would barely say more than a word or two the next. I didn't know how to talk to her, which was awkward when walking the streets with her for a good while."

He nodded thoughtfully. "She was like that with me, too."

Neri's brow arched in surprise and she swivelled in her seat to better look at her boyfriend. He was leaning back in his chair, his long legs stretched out under the table, one ankle crossed over the other, and he had an ale in his hand, which he wasn't drinking all that much of. His hair was down, the hairband lost sometime in the early hours of the morning when Neri had woken up wet and wanting. And he had the stubble that she so loved to run her fingers over coating much of his jaw.

"When did _you_ meet her?"

"Oh, you know, when I decided to fuck her against that bar in front of everyone because she reminded me of you."

Neri snorted, barely containing her guffaw as she shook her head. "I look _nothing_ like her."

"It was the ears," he said, struggling to hide his smirk.

She shoved his shoulder playfully. "Answer the question, Knut."

Anders spat his drink out, mid sip. "It's official, you know the absolute _worst_ Ander names."

She grinned brightly. "I'm guessing that's _not_ your name, then?"

"Fuck no. And you'll never ever guess it."

"I will too. But back on topic, you knobhead."

"We just had a drink." He shrugged. "But it was like you said, chatty-ish one moment then not the next. She got awfully cold when Bela showed up though."

"Really? Did they know each other?"

"Bela didn't seem to recognise her."

"Weird. Maybe she just isn't into really big tits?" Anders smiled into his drink, his eyes sparkling. Neri's gaze returned back to the elf, swallowing thickly as she watched the Antivan clean the very sharp knife she had been eating from. "I really hope _this_ Antivan isn't here to assassinate me. That would be the third one."

"Yes, because _all_ Antivans you meet are here to kill you," Anders snarked, a teasing smile at his lips.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "It's two out of three, so far. She'd make it three out of four."

"And just how many of those had you also fucked?" Anders asked, smirking cheekily.

Neri coughed into her hand. "Two out of three," she mumbled. Anders grinned.

Zev had been the first, and really that had been a _terrible_ assassination attempt what with him wanting to die and all. The other two Antivans she had met however… Deon and Carina, they were much smarter and it had made the Royal wedding a hell of a lot more intense for Neri and Zev while Arietta and Alistair ran around the patio drunk and stealing giant, feathered hats from the guests. It had ended with Neri naked, receiving a smite while orgasming, and then having to fight a Templar-trained Crow all on her own. She still had the scar from that particular skirmish on her palm. She didn't fancy having more added. And she still didn't even know _why_ Deon had wanted her dead. Zev had been investigating that for her – until he decided to bugger off to Rivain with some boy.

She picked up her drink again. She didn't want to think about that – or him – because it just made her worry and today was going to be a worry free day, if she could help it.

"So, what the _fuck_ are we gonna do today?" she asked, eyebrows wiggling a little as she eyed Anders.

"Well, I guess we know what you want," Anders laughed.

"As if you don't."

There was the briefest of smirks at his lips before he leaned in and stole a kiss from her. She moaned into it, happily letting her fingers slide up his leg to grope his crotch. He groaned as he pulled back a moment later.

"I _should_ get some more herbs for the clinic, I said I would."

She let out a small sigh but nodded and rested her head against his shoulder. "Where do you usually buy those?"

He shifted, moving his arm and wrapping it around her so she was instead leaning against his chest, hearing the steady thud of his heart beneath her pointed ear. "The Alienage," he replied.

"Ohh. I actually want to go there."

"Was that sarcasm?"

"No!" She poked him in the ribs, making him jerk. "I really do."

He laughed softly, making his chest, and thus her head, shake. "Alright. It's a date."

She snorted, letting her fingers curl into his shirt as that laugh turned into a smile. "You can show me around the city a bit more, hand in hand with the stench of the factory district burning our eyes and searing our lungs. It'll be great."

"You forgot about all the piss and vomit we'll have to walk through to get out of The Hanged Man, too. All that stuff, sticking to our boots…"

"Aaaand I'm right back to wanting to stay here."

He chuckled but stood up. "Come on, we can do that later. The elf who sells the herbs always puts the good stuff aside for me but she won't keep it there much past ten." Neri groaned but gave Anders her arms so he could drag her to her feet. He did that, smiling and planting a soft kiss to the top of her head. "Just think of all the lives you're saving," he said with amusement as he dragged her up the stairs to get their coats and staffs.

"I am so _done_ with the lifesaving thing," she said, smirking a bit. "I think I want to become a serial killer now."

"Not your genre, Freckles!" Varric shouted from somewhere nearby, probably his suite.

"It can be if I want it to be, Chesty!" she shouted back.

Anders laughed as he opened their door. "And who are you going to target, love?"

"Nobles."

"You realise Arietta is a noble, right? Alistair too." He handed her coat to her.

"I know that. They don't count."

"Oh, so there's _other_ criteria?"

"Yeah, they have to be tits or arses," she said as she shrugged her long black coat on.

He laughed again, shaking his head. "That's probably a very long list of people."

"Yeah, that's where the _serial_ part comes in." An impish smirk played at her lips and she pressed herself against Anders, letting her hands snake around to grope his ass. "Sure you don't want to be my first victim?" she husked.

His face crumpled with barely contained laughter and she found herself grinning, caught by its infectiousness. "That was terrible."

"You loved it."

"I love _you_ ," he said seriously.

Her grin widened. "But you need your fucking herbs."

"They aren't _for_ fucking, Neri," he said as he pushed her out the door and then locked up.

She giggled. "Can you imagine if there was a plant that gave you hard ons though? _Everybody_ would be buying that. Well, except for us, of course. We'd never leave our bedroom if we had that _and_ Warden stamina. _Although,_ that doesn't sound like such a bad idea…" she said in a seductive whisper.

"We're still going to the Alienage."

She groaned but followed him down the steps all the same.

Sure enough, Lowtown was smoky, the air stinking of all that noxious smog, and the ground was as sticky as promised as they left The Hanged Man. Arm in arm they walked through the streets. Neri always liked how little attention people paid her when she only wore leggings and a loose shirt. She was in brown leggings, knee-high leather boots and a dark blue, long-sleeved shirt today. Her hair was down, as usual, all curls sticking up in odd directions and she had her coat hanging open, enjoying the way it billowed outwards when a gust of wind caught it. Anders was wearing a similar outfit; his trousers were grey and the shirt he wore was white. His usual coat was tied shut around his waist and his silky hair was getting ruffled by the wind.

She had missed just hanging out with him. They'd done it all the time at the Keep, especially after The Mother had been dealt with. And then of course she'd had no choice but to go with Arietta up to the Anderfels to get _talked_ at by a bunch of asshole Wardens. Despite that though, Neri had learnt a lot while there, so it hadn't been a total waste of time. That didn't change the fact that she had missed Anders terribly though.

She hated being away from people she cared about. She was away from Zevran and Arietta right now and it sucked. But making new friends and reuniting with old ones helped, a little. And being in a new city—and country—was certainly interesting, even if that city was a shithole. That reminded her…

"Hey, so what happened exactly, with the slavers?" she asked.

Anders' expression darkened, his lips thinning into a grim line. "Hawke and Fenris had both been injured sometime before it and were still recovering. So, naturally, slavers came for Fenris, and with his recent injury, he didn't get far before they captured him." He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and sighed a bit. "We wouldn't have known he had been captured if it weren't for the mess Fenris had left on the streets—slaver bodies strewn all across the ground. Aveline found out and sent men to Varric who gathered everyone else. We couldn't find Hawke but went on ahead to save Fenris anyway.

"We found the slaver's tracks, found their camp…it was only then that we realised they had Hawke too. At the time, we had no idea how that had happened, but it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was what those bastards were about to do to Hawke." Anders' face twisted, his lips curling in disgust. "They had his trousers down—had their own down too and were about to, well, you know."

"Fucking bastards," she hissed.

He nodded grimly. "We killed them all. I don't think Hawke has talked much about it since but he's had Fenris' mansion upgraded with all sorts of new traps and is teaching him the escape routes out of Hightown." He shrugged.

"I'm glad you saved them," she said, her expression just as troubled as his. "Fucking slavers. They really are the scum of Thedas." She ran a hand through her hair, ruffling it. "Theo obviously expects more slavers to come for Fenris then?"

"Mmm. The elf's old master certainly seems eager to get him back."

"What a cuntbag. I guess we'll just have to keep killing slavers then," she said with a malicious smirk.

"How terrible," he said, returning her smirk. He nodded ahead of them. "Alienage is just up here."

The tree was always the first thing she spotted upon entering Alienages—that tiny piece of the wilds where their Dalish relatives ran free. There were candles all around it, flickering gently in the breeze. The bottom of the tree's trunk had been painted in Kirkwall-red with all sorts of elven symbols painted in white over it. Around it were stalls and merchants all hawking their wares in the tree's shadow. The elves here all looked skinny and scruffy but at least they didn't look sick like the ones in Denerim had.

Her gaze fell on two familiar faces next. Bethany and Carver were at one of the stalls, buying herbs. Neri started to smirk as they approached them.

"What are you two doing?" Anders asked, eyes narrowing a bit.

Bethany folded her arms, arching a brow at Anders. "Buying the herbs before someone else does," she said.

"I said I'd do it and here I am," Anders protested.

"Can you really blame us for coming anyway?" Carver snorted, giving Neri a look.

Neri giggled. "It's true, I did try _very_ hard to get you to come back to bed, love,"

Anders smiled, head shaking. "Good to know you all have such faith in my willpower."

Bethany's smile suddenly dropped and Neri turned to see a Templar leaving one of the houses nearby. An elven woman followed him out, tears streaming down her face. Neri stiffened. Usually when she saw women crying around Templars it was because they'd just taken their mage child away, but she couldn't see any children now, just the two adults.

"Please, Ser Thrask," the woman said. "He won't go to the Circle willingly, but it's the only place…"

The Templar let out a slight sigh, his shoulders slumping just a bit at the sight of the woman's tears. "Madam, we'll do our best to find your son, but I cannot guarantee his safety if he continues to resist Templar jurisdiction."

"He's just a boy!"

"He's an apostate."

The woman let out a sob at that and the Templar gave her a sympathetic nod before leaving her. Neri shared glances with Anders, Bethany and Carver, all of them apparently deciding in an instant that it would be better if this apostate _didn't_ end up in Templar custody.

They all approached the woman to speak with her.

…

The elf's name was Arianni, Neri and the others had learned, and the woman had explained to them about her son, Feynriel. Apparently, she had been keeping his magical talents hidden away for years now, but her son had been suffering from nightmares—nightmares that were making it increasingly difficult to wake him. That had struck them as odd as, usually it was very easy to wake from the Fade; therefore, Feynriel must have been dreaming very deeply to not wake easily from his mother's shaking. Neri hadn't like the sound of that at all. It probably meant the demons had their claws in him deep, which meant they were limited for time in which to save him, if they weren't already too late.

They had spoken with Feynriel's father second—a merchant from Antiva. Between Neri speaking Antivan with him and Anders letting flame lick at his fingertips, the merchant had soon opened up to them about his son. He had apparently spoken briefly with Feynriel and had sent him onto an ex-Templar who had a reputation for helping apostates. Neri had wanted to send Bethany home after that—she doubted Theo would appreciate Bethany going with them to talk to an ex-Templar—but Bethany was stubborn and had insisted on helping them with this.

That's where they were walking to now, to find Samson, the former Templar. It meant heading into some of the less savoury parts of Lowtown—the area nearest to Darktown. There were people sitting on the ground, in the dirt, begging everywhere they looked. Some played instruments that they'd clearly made themselves—some were little more than rusted pots and pans that they drummed on. She felt bad that there were so many people here with no jobs and likely no homes. It was fucked up, especially as most were probably Fereldan refugees who had fled the Blight.

Neri noticed quite a few people heading toward them; some looked a bit panicked, others just looked irritated, and as their group rounded the corner, Neri saw why. That pretty elf—Giselle, the Antivan one —was currently pinning a much taller and bigger man against the wall. Her eyes were narrowed into thin slits, her lips pulled back in a sneer and she had both her hands tight around the man's throat. He was struggling, his face turning red, hands scrabbling at hers to get them off him.

"If they're dead, I'll come back for you," the elf hissed at the human, her Antivan accent unmissable and thick with her near-snarled words. She pulled him back enough to slam him one final time into the wall and then let go of him. The man fell to his knees, gasping.

"Point made," he bit out, as he rubbed at his neck.

Bethany had already been on edge at them seeking out an ex-Templar. She knew that she would be an easy 'in' should the ex-Templar want to use her to get back into the Order, but if the man on the ground was the ex-Templar, she paid him no mind. Instead her eyes were fixed on the elven women now turning to face them. She was beautiful, Bethany couldn't help but notice. All that silver hair tumbling down her slender back in soft waves, keen chocolate-brown eyes flicking over them all, no doubt taking in details about them all in an instant, as only a rogue could.

"Slayer," the elf said, giving Neri a slight dip of her head. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Yeah, fancy that," Neri said, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Is the man you just roughed up Samson?"

The elf gave a casual shrug of her shoulder in response. "I didn't ask his name."

"It is," the man on the ground grumbled. He looked up at them. "I'm Samson."

Neri stepped forward, head tilting a bit. "We're here about Feynriel."

The man grumbled, lips twisting. "So was this one," he said, glaring up at the elf. "I'm done answering questions. You want to know what I know, ask her." With that, he got up and left, still muttering under his breath.

"My, my, here I was under the impression you were only here for your fellow Warden," the elf said, eyes sparking with something a little teasing as her gaze settled back on Neri. "Yet, here you are, attempting to rescue an apostate." Her head tilted a little, eyes sharpening. "I assume it's an attempted rescue and not an attempt to send him to the Gallows?"

"Obviously," Neri scoffed. "And what can I say? Trouble always finds me."

"So it seems," the elf replied.

Neri folded her arms across her chest, sighing through her nose. "So, you gonna tell us what Samson said?"

"Ah, yes," the elf said pleasantly enough. Bethany watched as those elegant elven fingers began tying back all her loose hair into an elaborate braid. "He's sent the boy and another mage girl to an old friend of his—someone else who supposedly helps apostates on the run." Her lips twisted a bit and she tied her braid around her head before pinning it in place. "Naturally, that friend is now part of the slave trade."

"For fuck's sake," Neri muttered.

"More slavers in Kirkwall?" Anders asked, frowning.

"You're so very clearly new to the city, _caro_ ," the elf said. "Slavers are _always_ here."

"Do you know where we can find them?" Bethany asked; the thought of slavers getting their hands on another mage, especially after how she'd seen slavers treat their _cargo_ , made her blood boil. The elf's gaze snapped to her, flickering quickly over her as some obviously pleasant thought curled her lips.

"I do. Are you ready for a fight, _dolcezza_?"

"Always," Bethany replied firmly and the elf's smile widened.

"Lead on, Giselle," Neri said. "And while we're walking, you can tell us why _you_ are interested in these mages."

"Can I?" Giselle laughed lightly.

"Maker, are all Antivans like this?" Carver asked, head shaking in annoyance. It was just like her brother to prefer it when people were blunt or spoke their mind; all these games weren't really his style. Theo was pretty similar, especially if there were lives at risk, he'd have wanted to know as much as possible as soon as possible so he could start planning, like he often did. Bethany, however, was finding that she found such games quite amusing—it was more satisfying when you finally did get the answers you sought.

"Yes," both Neri and Giselle said.

The elf chuckled again. "Is it odd to you that there are others in this city sympathetic to mages?" Giselle asked.

"Yes," Anders and Neri both said. Giselle smiled in amusement.

"It doesn't help that the Chantry constantly tells people mages are monsters," Bethany added flatly.

"Not _all_ believe those lies, _bella_ ," Giselle said, giving Bethany a firm look.

Bethany smiled a bit, the elf's words filling her with hope. She wasn't sure why the Antivan wanted to help mages; in her experience, it was usually due to personal circumstances that people wanted to help them—a relative or loved one who was a mage—but it was clear the elf wasn't going to discuss it with them, and so they simply followed her through the streets.

It was mid-morning by now. The sun was warm overhead but not overly so thanks to the soft white clouds that kept blocking it from view. Bethany couldn't help but notice just how well-armed Giselle was. She was used to Theo having all manner of knives and flasks on him—using lethal toys to make up for his lack of finesse with his blades—but he had nothing close to the amount of knives on him as this Antivan did. Bethany could see at least ten on the elf and that was from just casually letting her eyes follow the swaying hips in front of her as they walked. That probably should have worried her, but it didn't; so far, Giselle seemed reasonable enough, so long as you didn't anger her.

"That is the place," the elf announced, pointing at a warehouse at the end of the street. It was a big building, one with multiple entrances and, thus, multiple exits. If they made any noise… the slavers could flee with Feynriel and the other mage.

"How are we going to do this?" Bethany asked. "We can't let them escape."

"I don't think any of us were planning on letting that happen, _gattina_." Bethany wasn't sure what all these Antivan nicknames meant, but she _had_ noticed that she was the only one getting them, and that made her feel oddly warm inside.

"We're going to have to split up," Neri announced. "Carver and Bethany at this front entrance. Anders and I will take the side doors. Giselle, the back is yours."

" _Perfetto_ ," the Antivan replied. "Let us get on with it." With that, the elf ran up the wall and disappeared across the rooftops.

"Bloody Antivans," Neri muttered under her breath. She glanced at Bethany and Carver. "Stay safe you two, and Bethany… your magic-"

"I'm not holding back, not when there are lives at stake," she replied, cutting Neri off. She was more than a little fed up of everyone always telling her she shouldn't use her magic, shouldn't _help_. She wouldn't just stand there like a useless lug.

Neri nodded grimly. "I don't know Giselle, you shouldn't just trust-"

"It's my risk to take," Bethany said, perhaps a bit stubbornly.

"I won't let anything happen to her," Carver said, stepping up to stand at her side.

Neri sighed. "Alright… See you both in a moment, then."

Bethany watched the two Wardens leave and then directed her gaze to the doorway up ahead. "Do you want to open it, or shall I?"

"It's all yours, sister."

Bethany smiled a bit wickedly and mussed up her hair, and, as she walked up to the door, she rubbed her hand along the dirty ground, then smeared that across her face. She finished off the 'fleeing apostate' look with a couple of slaps to her cheeks for colour, then ran the rest of the way to the door. She banged on it, trying to sound as desperate as possible. And, remarkably, a man answered.

"What do you want?"

"The apostates," Bethany practically growled out as she flung shards of ice at the man, impaling him on it. With a blast of magic, she sent the man flying backwards and easily stepped over his corpse, next spell at the ready – and just in time, too, as another man ran at her, axe swinging wildly. She sent a blast of fire at his face making him drop his axe, and then Carver was sailing past her and burying his sword in the man's chest.

Another two men rushed in and Bethany sent a ball of fire at one, flinging him back to the ground. She then marched forward and plunged the bladed end of her staff down into his flailing body, stilling him permanently. Spinning on her heel, a spell ready, she checked on her brother, only to find him ending the life of the second man. Carver wiped his blade and then the two of them were moving forward, toward the sounds of screams and shouts in what she assumed was the main room.

The first thing Bethany noticed was the amount of cargo the main room housed; the second thing she noticed was just how many of those crates were being tossed around the air and smashed into slavers by Neri. She knew Neri was a powerful force mage but it was still crazy to see how easily she lifted men and crates into the air only to smash them to the ground with enough force to shatter both. Bethany couldn't help but be a little jealous of how easy Neri made it look—the she-elf was barely even using her staff, she noticed, something that would tire most mages considerably to do. She supposed it was advantageous for Warden mages to be able to cast without their staffs in case it ever broke in some place like the Deep Roads where it couldn't be easily repaired.

Carver ran in before her, rushing a group of men that had spotted them and weren't quite in Neri and Anders' line of fire. Bethany sent a bolt of blue electricity at the group, watching in satisfaction as it arced between all three of the men, making them all jerk and scream. More importantly, it meant that her twin was able to cut through them like butter.

Bethany scanned the warehouse and, to her annoyance, found no sign of any dagger wounds amongst the fallen or wounded slavers, which meant the Antivan woman had left them all to fight these slavers alone. Bethany grit her teeth, annoyed by that very fact, and readied another spell.

It was then that she noticed a rather large man in heavy armour dragging a crying girl down some stairs on the far side of the room. "That must be one of the mages!" Bethany shouted, but her brother and the two mages were well and truly neck deep in slavers by that point, with another group having joined the fray, and so it was left to Bethany to chase down the slaver and save the mage girl herself.

She caught up with the bastard in a narrow corridor, finding him struggling with the exit, slamming his shoulder into the door in an attempt to get it open. Despite trying to bash down the door, he still had his grip on the girl. And it was the mage who first noticed Bethany.

"Help me, _please_!" the mage girl screamed, tears staining her red cheeks.

Bethany brought her staff forward, letting it glow a menacing bright orange, like the fire she called to her palm. "Let her go," she growled.

The man laughed as he turned and looked at her. "Another mage?" He grinned and suddenly dragged the girl against his chest, putting a knife to her throat. "Blast this door open with some of your magic," he ordered, "or this bitch dies."

Bethany's fingers tightened around her staff. "I have a counter offer, let her go and I won't burn you to a crisp. How does that sound?"

The slaver chuckled. "That doesn't sound great at all. I'm not joking you little cunt, I will slit this bitch's throat-"

"And then I will set you on fire," Bethany said firmly. "You still don't have that door open, so you can't go anywhere. All I want is her, alive. That's it."

The man glanced at the door again, then back at Bethany, before he sighed and pulled the knife away from the girl. He shoved her to her knees and the mage crawled across the ground, straight to Bethany.

"You said you'd let me go," the man said.

"I said I wouldn't kill you, if you let her go," Bethany corrected.

"I, however, made no such promises," another voice said. Bethany watched as the slaver suddenly staggered, gasping for breath and promptly collapsed to the ground, revealing Giselle standing behind him with a bloodied silverite dagger.

"Where have you been?" Bethany said, frowning accusatorially.

"Making certain none escaped, of course," the elf replied casually, sheathing her dagger. "Who do you think blocked the door?"

Bethany rolled her eyes a bit and then turned her attention to the mage girl, crouching so she was eye level with her. "Are you hurt?" she asked softly, gently touching the girl's shoulder.

The girl shook her head and sucked in a deep breath. "No, not unless you count the magebane they drugged me with."

She nodded a bit, giving her a soft look. "You're safe now and the magebane should wear off soon." The girl nodded a bit shakily. "Can you stand?" Bethany asked. Again, the girl nodded, and Bethany helped her back to her feet.

"Thank you for saving me," she said to them both, once she was back on her feet. "I only wanted to escape so my father wouldn't get in trouble for hiding me. I never thought-" The girl shook her head, sighing. "I should have known not all men are as good as him."

"You couldn't have known they were _slavers_ ," Bethany assured her.

"Maybe not, but it still wasn't very smart of me to trust a lyrium-addicted ex-Templar who would probably do anything for a bit of dust, was it?"

"Sì, sì," Giselle said, "there will be time for talking, later, this fight is not yet done." The Antivan brushed past them both, and glanced over her shoulder at Bethany. "No need to assist, I use a lot of stealth and it would be awfully uncomfortable for me if you were to accidentally set me on fire." With that, the elf promptly vanished into a cloud of black smoke.

It felt weird, standing at the edge of the warehouse watching everyone else fight, but Bethany could understand why Giselle didn't want magic getting thrown around from all sides of the room—she'd be able to watch out for Neri and Anders' magic, what with them standing together still, but if Bethany helped out as well, then there was more chance she'd get hit by a stray spell. That didn't stop Bethany from putting a barrier on her brother every now and then though.

The mage girl moved to her side, watching also with a look of surprise on her face. "They're mages…" She looked at Bethany, a frown forming between her brows. "Are you _all_ apostates?"

Bethany swallowed thickly and shook her head. "…I am, but they're Grey Wardens."

The girl's jade-green eyes went wide. "I had heard the Slayer of the Archdemon was in the city but…"

"That's her," Bethany said, smiling widely, "and that's her boyfriend, at her side."

"Incredible," the girl said, gaze fixed on the two Wardens. "Look at them together. I've never seen mages fight like that before, so in sync."

"Mmmh. They've known each other for years and been through a lot," Bethany explained. "It is remarkable though."

"Do you think they can help me reach Ferelden? The freed Circle? That's where I was hoping to get to, before these slavers captured me."

Bethany hummed softly. "They might be able to. I'll make sure to ask them for you."

The girl gave her a big watery smile. "I must be dreaming, or perhaps the Maker just sent you all to me. Either way, thank you, again. Really."

Bethany nodded and her expression grew a bit more serious. "We were hoping to rescue another apostate too… a boy named Feynriel. Do you know where he is?"

The girl's expression got a bit grim and she swallowed thickly. "He was sold to slavers; they came for him just a few hours ago."

"Damnit," Bethany said under her breath. She frowned. "Then these men weren't slavers, just… criminals?"

The girl nodded. "They would have sold me to them too but when I told them who my father is… they decided they'd get more ransom money from him than anything the slavers would pay them."

Bethany's brows furrowed. "Why?" she asked. "Who is your father?"

"Ser Thrask," the girl answered, making Bethany's eyes widen with realisation. "You know him? He's a Templar at the Gallows."

"I saw him this morning," Bethany replied, voice probably still sounding rather surprised. "It's how we ended up searching for Feynriel."

"Oh, that makes sense. Feynriel said his mother had called the Templars on him, betrayed him. He seemed so angry and troubled." She sighed a bit then tried for a smile. "My name's Olivia, by the way."

Bethany smiled back. "It's nice to meet you, Olivia. I'm Bethany. That elf you saw was Giselle. The warrior over there is my brother, Carver. And you already know of Neri, which just leaves her boyfriend, Anders."

"If it weren't for you all looking for Feynriel… I'd either end up raped and killed or thrown in the Gallows." Her expression hardened. "You have to rescue him. The slavers, I heard them say they were on the coast, at a cave near Dead Man's Cove. I know it's not much to go on, given how many caves there are along the Coast, but…"

"That's more than enough to help us find him," Bethany said, squeezing Olivia's shoulder and smiling. "We might still be able to save him."

"I hope you can."

The fight finally ended, with Carver being the first back to her side. He was sweaty, panting and bleeding a little so Bethany immediately got to work healing his wounds.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked, checking him over.

"No, and they're only scratches, sister."

"I'll be the one who decides if they're just scratches or not, dear brother."

The others re-grouped around Bethany and she couldn't help but notice Giselle had several new coin purses strapped to her belt and a few new throwing daggers. She decided to fill them all in on everything she had learned from Olivia, making sure to give introductions and remembering to ask the Wardens if they could help the mage girl out as she healed up any injuries they all had.

"There's no time to waste," Giselle said, once she had heard everything, feet already marching her lithe frame toward the door.

"Whoa there!" Neri said, scowling. "We're not gonna rush into a slaver's den with just the five of us."

The Antivan turned gracefully on her heel, eyes flashing with annoyance. "Why ever not?"

"Because that's _dumb_?"

Giselle scoffed. "Gathering an _army_ wastes invaluable seconds that Feynriel does not have."

"We just need to stop by The Hanged Man," Bethany said. "Fenris and Theo would have stopped there for lunch with Varric, most likely."

"It's true," Carver said. "They've done it every day this week, so far."

"Then we can grab them and go," Neri said. She glanced at the mage girl. "Come with us, for now. We'll have to sort you out a ship to Ferelden once we've saved Feynriel."

Olivia nodded in understanding. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love, hope you enjoyed this one! Really weird writing a chapter with no Theo or Fen XD.


	34. What Sort Of Mage Are You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay--Mass Effect, in particular Jaal, held me captive. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this update, my lovelies! 
> 
> <3

Neri had left the mage girl in Isabela's capable hands. Looking back, that was probably going to scar the girl more than a bunch of dickhead sailors capturing her had, but 'Bela had been busy drinking and didn't have much interest in joining them out on the Coast while Varric, Theo and Fenris had all wanted to come to deal with the slavers, so she hadn't had much choice in who could look after the poor girl.

The others were rightly pissed that more slavers had arrived in the city without Varric hearing so much as a peep from his lookouts. He hadn't stopped grumbling about it the entire walk out there, in fact. Anders had been indulging the dwarf, discussing with him what they'd do to any of the lookouts if it turned out they'd taken a bribe from slavers—so far she had heard them suggest wrapping them in chains and tossing him in the sea, turning them into human pincushions, and branding them to death with the words 'traitor'.

She tuned them out and focused on the far more interesting topic of the Antivan elf. She'd had her suspicions all-but-confirmed to her in the warehouse. Giselle was, at the very least, Crow trained. Neri would recognise those moves anywhere—she'd watched Zev fight and spar for hours and hours, after all. Neri didn't know if that meant Giselle was still a Crow, had been trained by a Crow or was an ex-Crow, like Zev. Either way, it made her uncomfortable. None of that was helped by the fact Giselle refused to chat very much about herself. But Neri knew better than to point out that she knew she was a Crow; she'd keep that piece of information to herself instead of recklessly kicking off about it. Arietta would be so proud of her.

Fenris and Theo suddenly stopped walking up ahead and ducked behind a large rock. Everyone followed suit.

"Three scouts," Theo whispered.

"What are we waiting for?" Giselle asked, scowling at him, her arms folded across her chest.

"My thoughts exactly," Fenris said, eyes narrowing.

"Just—hold on," Theo said. "What if we use their armour to get inside rather than charging in?"

"You mean as disguises?" Varric asked. Theo nodded. "Could work… might want some 'slaves' to accompany you though."

"You mean pretend we have them chained up?" Theo said, paling a bit.

"It was just a suggestion," Varric said, lifting his hands.

"Using elves would make that more believable," Neri said, noticing the disgusted looks Fenris and Giselle both had on their faces.

Neri sighed. It _would_ be the easiest way in, and they _did_ have exactly three elves with them, but she definitely didn't want to be the one trying to convince Fenris to 'play the slave'.

She hopped out from behind the rock and dragged the three surprised slavers toward her with her force magic. "What's the cleanest way to kill them?" she asked the others as the slavers struggled in her magic's hold, eyes wide.

Fenris happily stood up, his lips twisting into something feral. "Allow me," he said as he lit up a bright bluish white. She watched, mouth falling open as his fist disappeared into the first man, then the second, then the third, killing all three instantly as he crushed their hearts.

Theo called it lyrium-fisting, she knew; Neri called it absolutely terrifying. And that glowing fist had been inside Anders once; her lover actually looked a bit queasy now at seeing the ex-slave do it again. But as terrifying as it was, Neri couldn't deny its effectiveness. They now had three dead slavers, and the armour didn't have a single stain on it.

"Alright… How are we doing this?" Theo asked.

"I'll be a slave," Neri said. She smirked a bit. "I don't mind who chains me up."

"Might be best to have a warrior head in," Theo said. "Carver, would you like to take Neri?" There was a twitch of a smirk at Theo's lips and Neri cracked the hell up. Poor Carver blushed bright red, but nodded.

Theo, very reluctantly, turned to Fenris. The ex-slave had his arms folded and the scowl across his face looked menacing. Neri was pretty sure he was going to lyrium-fist all of them if they tried to get him to do it.

"Fenris-"

"No."

Theo sighed. "It's your choice, and I know it's a lot to ask. But think about it this way: if you don't pretend to be a slave, then you'll have to stay here while _we_ get to slaughter all the slavers inside. You'd be missing out on tearing those bastards apart…"

The muscle in Fenris' jaw twitched.

"If you do this, it'll be me at your back," Theo said. "And I won't actually restrain you."

Scowl lifting slightly, Fenris nodded. Theo then turned his attention to the final elf in their group.

"If you think for one second I am letting one of you men _take_ me, you are sorely mistaken," Giselle said. If possible, her expression looked even steelier than Fenris' had.

"I can do it," Bethany suddenly said. The young mage glanced at the Antivan. "Would that be okay?"

Giselle seemed to be considering that and a small smile curled her lips. "I usually prefer doing the restraining, but very well, _bambolina._ " Bethany blushed and Neri couldn't help but watch curiously. Was she smitten?

"Alright then," Theo said. "Let's get ready."

She happily watched Theo shrug off his usual armour and slip into the slaver's gear, shamelessly admiring all that lean muscle, his long legs and glorious thighs. And, to her amusement, she wasn't the only one watching him strip off; Anders was too—not that there was anything odd about that—but so was Fenris. She could see him watching through his fringe, clearly trying _not_ to look or trying not to look like he was looking, but she still spotted the blush on his cheeks and the way his eyes raked down Theo's body, lingering in a few particularly nice places.

She wondered if Fenris was remembering what that body looked like in his lap or dancing on the table because that's certainly where her own mind had wandered off to at seeing all that exposed skin once more. Her gaze did get distracted by Carver's massive arms barely fitting in the armour he was shoving on though. His biceps really were huge—not like Sten-huge, but still big for a human. And poor Bethany was drowning in her outfit, having to hike up the trousers to just below her breasts and then tie them off with Theo's discarded belt just to keep them up.

But it would do just to get them inside, probably.

Theo took Fenris' sword with a nod and strapped it to his back with a grunt, and Bethany secured Giselle's daggers to her hip, keeping her own staff on her back. Neri gave her own staff to Anders—they both knew she didn't need it to cast – and then loosened some of her own clothes to make her look a bit more 'slavey'.

"Someone should punch me," Neri said as she went to stand with Carver. "It'll make it look more authentic."

"Neri," Anders said, scowling, "we are not punching you."

She smirked a bit. "You usually like roleplay."

The twins groaned.

"Usually we aren't pretending to be bloody slavers."

"But the bloody kind are my favourite," she replied.

"Let's just go save Feynriel," Theo said. "Everyone ready?"

Nobody objected. "Anders, Varric, stay here and keep an eye out for backup—feel free to take them out once we're in the cave." The boys nodded.

"Stay safe," Anders said.

"The danger's half the fun," Neri said back to him, smiling fondly.

They headed down the sandy path. Neri had deliberately left her coat and staff behind; she'd also taken off her boots and only had one sock on, too—wanting to sell this a bit more. Plus, it felt nice to walk barefoot in the sand. Fenris was a silent and angry presence at her side, his hands held loosely behind his back; Theo was holding his shoulder gently and looking a bit uncomfortable under his helm. Giselle had her head held high at Neri's other side—she had the 'angry captive' look down to a tee.

There weren't any more scouts in their way and soon they reached the cave. It was dark inside, obviously. Torches had been lit around the sides of the cave and as Neri's eyes adjusted to the light she gasped at the sight that greeted them. Feynriel was not the only slave these men had captured. There was an entire line of chained people—women, children, elves, humans—all sitting in the sand looking utterly terrified.

"We weren't expecting any more," someone suddenly shouted down to them. A man with red hair—what was that, the third person today they'd seen today with red hair?—and a fat face glared down at them. "You better hurry up and chain them with the others. Boat leaves soon."

"Actually," Theo said, pulling off his helm. "I think we'll just free them all instead, if that's alright with you."

Neri grinned as Fenris was unleashed upon them with Theo handing him the two-handed sword he had strapped to his back. The elf lit up a fierce blue-white and charged the men—the slavers actually looked frightened and Neri didn't blame them one bit. Giselle had vanished, melting into the shadows, upon getting her weapons handed back from Bethany. Carver soon joined Fenris' rampage, and Theo went up the steps after the leader. Neri stayed with Bethany as the younger mage began casting, and focused her own attentions on the slaves themselves. She tossed barriers on them all, hoping none of the slavers would try to harm potential money-making possessions. But she never could be certain with fuckers like these, especially if there were any blood mages with them—although she couldn't smell or sense any blood, yet, so she hoped there weren't any.

More slavers charged in and Neri greeted them with one of her favourite force spells—one that involved killing them with their own weapons. The looks on their faces as she dragged their swords from their hands, turned them around and then rammed their weapons into them was priceless. The only downside was the quick death it gave them; men like these deserved much worse than that.

Her ears flickered, hearing just that happening to the slaver leader up on the platform above. She glanced up, spotting Theo ramming his dagger into the man's gut over and over again with this wild, feral look in his eyes. She wasn't sure exactly what that was about…but she could guess it had something to do with the slavers that had taken him and Fenris hostage not so long ago—maybe some bottled up anger finally being let loose. That or the prick had said something about Bethany looking like a nice slave or some shit.

Bethany had apparently noticed her brother's actions too because she suddenly appeared behind him and pulled him off the now-very-likely-dead slaver and into an embrace in an attempt to calm him down.

"Well, that didn't take long," Anders suddenly said from her side.

"Hmh?" she asked.

"For all of you to clear this place out."

"Oh, yeah." She glanced around, seeing Fenris finishing off a few slavers that were still breathing before she smiled back at Anders. "Disappointed we didn't leave you any?"

"More disappointed we didn't see the fight," Varric muttered as he took in the carnage. "Shit, Freckles, did you impale them on their own _swords_?"

She snickered. "Yep."

"She does that," Anders said, smiling.

"Only to people I don't like, of course." She glanced around again, finding Carver unlocking the captives, and smiled a bit. "They could probably do with some reassuring, Varric. And some might be injured."

"I'll look them all over," Anders said, already walking toward the chained people.

"And I'll check their ship," Giselle said before vanishing out the cave's entrance.

A pretty shaken looking Theo came back down the steps then with Bethany at his side. His arms were stained with blood up to his elbows, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by anyone. He gave her the briefest of smiles but it didn't reach his eyes. She decided not to mention his random stabbing spree and instead turned her attention to the captives.

"Which one of you is Feynriel?" she asked, looking over at the now-freed slaves.

"I-I am," a boy said, frowning deeply at her. Neri returned a frown. She knew he'd look human, but she assumed he would look like his father—all black hair and dark skin, instead he was pale-haired. He wasn't even a red-head like everyone else had been today. "Who are you?" he asked. "Did the Templars send you?"

Neri snorted. "No, I'm the last person they'd send to bring in an apostate, trust me. Your mother sent us to find you."

"Humph, hardly a difference," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I can't believe her! My whole life, it was all ' _I'll love you and protect you'_. Then I have some bad dreams and it's ' _off to the Templars'_."

"Bad dreams you couldn't wake up from," Neri pointed out a little warily.

Feynriel's scowl deepened. "Aren't all teenagers hard to get out of bed?"

"Not all teenagers are being tempted by demons," Fenris said. She noticed he still had his sword in his hand, and that probably wasn't helping to calm Feynriel any.

"I'm not being _tempted_ by them!" His expression turned a bit more uncertain and he sighed. "I have…dreams. There are voices in the dreams. They ask me to come, to give shape to the Void around them." Neri frowned at that; she got pestered by demons nearly constantly but they'd never asked _that_ of her.

" _Somniari_ ," Fenris growled, his expression darkening. Theo actually took a step forward, almost like he was worried Fenris would actually hurt the boy.

"A Dreamer?" Anders asked, blinking in confusion. Neri knew the word. She'd read about Dreamers; there was only one book at the Tower on them, and it wasn't even a whole book, just a passage, but it was enough for her to bite her lip with worry.

"What-what does that mean?" Feynriel asked, eyes flickering between them all.

"It means you're a very powerful mage," Neri said, " _if_ that's what you are."

"What do they do?" Carver asked.

"They… can control the Fade," Anders explained. "Even people's dreams."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Bethany said.

"It is," Fenris said. "They are capable of driving people mad, even killing them through dreams."

"I would never do that!" Feynriel said, his eyes going wide.

"If you become possessed, you will not have a choice."

Feynriel's face scrunched up with annoyance. "That won't happen. I'm not _stupid_. I know not to listen to them!"

"Alright," Theo said, stepping in the middle of things, holding out his still-bloodied hands. "Maybe we should calm things down here?" Neri wasn't sure if he was saying that in part to himself too—he still looked shaken himself from his fight with the slaver.

"We can send him to Ferelden along with Olivia," Anders suddenly said. "They'll both be safe at the new School."

"A Templar-free school," Fenris sneered. "He belongs in the Gallows."

"Oh, so they can give him the brand when he has his next nightmare?" Anders asked, voice rising a bit. "Because they _will_ do that, those bastards don't give a shit about mages."

"A mage as dangerous as him _should_ be-"

"Fen, maybe don't finish that sentence," Theo said softly.

"You think I deserve the brand just because of a few bad dreams?" Feynriel hissed, clearly insulted.

"No," Theo said. "We don't think that… we're here to help you."

"Some help you're turning out to be!"

"Where is it you were going to?" Giselle suddenly asked, back from dealing with the ship, Neri assumed. "You were clearly fleeing _somewhere_."

"The Dalish," Feynriel said. "They've had magic since forever—if anyone can help me, it's them."

Their group seemed to consider that.

"You'd be an outsider to them," Neri informed him. "They're not the friendliest bunch." She'd felt snow warmer than some of the Dalish.

"I'd rather be alone than Tranquil," the boy scoffed.

"I _do_ need to go to the Dalish still," Theo said, tapping his chin with a finger before remembering they were covered in blood. He instead pulled the amulet Flemeth had given him back in Lothering out from under his scarf. "Need to give this to their Keeper."

Neri snorted and shook her head. "You still haven't done that?"

Theo shrugged a little guiltily. "Forgot about it, honestly."

"The Dalish may know about Dreamers, too," Anders pointed out thoughtfully.

"Then it's settled," Theo said. "We'll help you find the Dalish, Feynriel." He glanced at the other slaves who were all quietly watching on, standing with Varric but still looking frightened, and frowned.

"I can make sure they make it safely back to the city," Giselle said, apparently reading Theo's mind.

Theo gave her a grateful nod. "Could you leave a message with Corf or Nora at The Hanged Man, too? I-"

"You wish me to pass on the message to the pirate that you have been delayed in returning and would like her to inform your mother as well, yes?"

Theo's brows curved with surprise. "Uhh, yeah. That would be great. Thank you."

"Consider it done."

"We should find somewhere to camp, seeing as it'll be dark soon," Theo said. "I doubt any of us wants to sleep in a slaver cave tonight."

* * *

 

Theo went down to the water's edge to wash the blood from his arms. He still couldn't believe how badly he had lost it with that slaver. The man had been taunting him as Theo fought him—had been saying what a nice slave he would make, along with the rest of them. And Theo had just snapped and laid into him, over and over. Bethany had seen that, had stopped him. She had looked so worried for him. Not scared though; she had understood why he did it, at least. He should have known that pretending that the slaver attack on him and Fenris hadn't happened was a bad idea. He clearly wasn't okay with it, at all.

His hands were trembling as he scrubbed the dried blood away and he sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself back down. Dark Lyrium-coated feet were suddenly at his side and he glanced up at Fenris. The elf's expression was blank, as always.

"I saw," the elf said plainly. Theo nodded, swallowing with difficulty. "Are you well, Hawke?"

Theo let out a bitter chuff of laughter. "I thought I was. I thought I had just buried our experience with the slavers and forgotten about it but-"

"That anger is still there, the disgust."

"Yes." He got back to his feet, scowling a bit. "How do you live with that churning inside of you all the time?"

"With difficulty," Fenris admitted.

Theo nodded glumly.

"Having friends…helps," Fenris added, expression softening a bit.

Theo smiled. "You sure about that? I'm not just a pain in the arse to you?"

"I am certain the same could be said of me," Fenris replied. "No doubt half the reason slavers are here is because of me."

"You aren't a pain in my arse, Fen, as much as I wish you were," he said smirking and managing to pull a blushing smile from Fenris—one of his favourites. "And we don't know that. Kirkwall has a long history with slavers, after all."

"Mmh, perhaps."

"Hey," Theo said, bopping Fenris' shoulder. "Even if we have to play whack-a-mole with slavers for the next decade of our lives, it'd be worth it, just to keep you safe."

Moss green eyes met his amber-red ones, something soft and warm in that usually masked gaze that made Theo's stomach flip. "Thank you, Hawke." Something wry twisted his lips, pulling them up into a hint of a smirk. "Although, if we are still together in ten years' time fighting slavers, I might have to question why we hadn't relocated."

Theo ignored the way his chest clenched at the idea of them being 'together' as he replied. "Hawke stubbornness," Theo said, grinning. "Admittedly, the Hawke tendency to worry might have the stubbornness beat, in which case, we probably would have moved cities or countries by then."

Fenris nodded. "Add to that the Hawke trait to do anything for their family, and I'm surprised you're still here at all."

"It's not just family I'd do anything for," Theo admitted, giving Fenris a soft look. "Besides, my family _want_ to be here, so I'm not going anywhere, except for back to the others." He turned on his heel and started walking up the narrow, sandy path that led up through the long grasses of the dunes. The others were waiting just outside the cave with Feynriel. And that's when Theo started to feel the first few drops of icy cold rain.

As he reached the others, he could see the path already darkening from the rain, with little craters forming where the raindrops were slamming down into the soft ground. While it was refreshing to be out in the rain after the fight they'd just had, Theo knew it would quickly turn unpleasant with them exposed out on the coast as they were.

" _Now_ it reminds me of Ferelden," Neri said as she pulled her hood over her head.

"Needs more wet dog smell," Anders said.

"Aww, and now I miss Barkspawn."

Anders sighed, nodding. "And I miss Ser Pounce-a-lot."

"You both have the most ridiculous names for your pets," Varric muttered, hiding Bianca under his duster.

"Anders started it," Neri explained. "He had a cat in the Tower called Mr. Wiggums. I guess he rubbed off on me a bit though 'cause yeah, I named my mabari war hound Barkspawn." She grinned as Varric chuckled and shook his head.

"Brother, I know it's not ideal but we should camp in the cave," Bethany said, shivering a bit as she hugged herself for warmth.

"I…" Theo glanced at Fenris and the elf shrugged a shoulder. He looked to Feynriel second and the young boy shifted on his feet, looking pretty miserable in the rain.

"It's fine with me."

"Alright then," Theo sighed. He wasn't eager to go back to that cave, but it was the only shelter nearby. "Let's clear out the bodies, quickly."

* * *

 

Most were asleep, but with the she-elf on watch, Fenris was struggling to get to sleep at all. He still did not trust the mage. He did not know what she wanted, what she was capable of. And so he watched her carefully. For days now, she had been dining with Kirkwall's elite, a fact which Fenris found greatly disturbing. That she was given such free reign with no one watching over her actions was concerning; he had seen how easily blood mages wormed their way into people's minds. With her busy the past few days and with Hawke teaching Fenris the routes through the sewers, he had been able to put his worries about the Slayer out of his mind, but now that he was with her, camping in such close proximity to her, as well as so many other mages, he was, once more, on edge.

He watched the elf now, eyes narrowing a bit. She was sitting cross-legged in front of the cave's entrance, watching as the waterfall of rainwater fell down over the entrance to puddle in the soaked sand. Fenris had been watching, waiting for her to do something sinister with her believing them all to be asleep, that would justify his feelings toward her, but so far she had simply sat and watched the rain fall.

He remembered that first night, after the Bone Pit, where Hawke had come to talk to him due to neither of them being able to sleep due to their lack of trust in each other; he had been frank with him and Fenris had appreciated the honesty. He realised Hawke would likely prefer he do the same with Neria—to give her a chance. To get to know _her_ rather than just what she was. With a sigh, he got to his feet.

She didn't hear him approach and she jumped a bit as he appeared at her side.

"Jiggling ballsacks," she hissed, her hand on her heart. "You shouldn't sneak up on mages unless you want to get a force blast to the chest, Fenris."

He clenched his teeth. "What is it you want?" he asked plainly.

The mage frowned as she stared up at him. "I want lots of things," she admitted as she shoved her hair away from her face. A smirk twitched at her lips. "I want to be fucked by-"

Fenris growled in annoyance. "You, as a mage, what is it you want?" he corrected. "Power? Riches?"

She scoffed. "You might have noticed, but I'm plenty rich and powerful already."

His glare deepened, unimpressed with her answer; she had all the arrogance of most magisters he had known. Neri sighed.

"Fine, you want some big serious conversation in the middle of the fucking night, Fenris?" she said, voice raised a bit as she got to her feet to face him. Fenris held his ground even as his body stiffened. "I want my other boyfriend back. I want a normal fucking life. I want _mages_ to have a normal fucking life. I want to live longer than another ten sodding years. I want the blood mage that's been hounding me for months now to die already so that I can stop worrying that she's controlling everyone around me all the damned time." Fenris found himself scowling at a number of the things she had mentioned; her life expectancy and the blood mage in particular were not things he had heard about until now. "But most of all? Most of all I just want to be _happy_."

He found himself frowning, struggling to associate the always laughing elf in front of him with someone who _wasn't_ happy. "You do nothing but laugh and joke," he pointed out.

Neri laughed bitterly. "Because that means I can't possibly be miserable, right?" Her ochre eyes flashed with anger and narrowed at him. "You don't know _shit_ about me. You've heard the stories, just like everyone else, and think I must be some nefarious mage with all these desires and goals and plans."

"Aren't you?" he asked, head tilting. "You just admitted a long list of the things you want. How far are you willing to go to achieve them?"

"Pretty fucking far," she bit out and he sneered in disgust. "How far were _you_ willing to go to be free? How far are you willing to go to _stay_ that way?"

"It is not the same," he replied, lip twisting. "I cannot make a deal with a demon to achieve my goals."

"Well I sure as shit ain't about to, either. Turning to demons isn't going to help me free my fellow mages and give them all normal lives."

"Normal lives, free mages," he scoffed. "No mage should be given such a thing; they will always be too dangerous for that." Neri opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. "You cannot deny such a thing—I saw your expression when you realised what Feynriel was capable of."

The mage ground her teeth together, eyes narrowing in annoyance. "Of course mages _can_ be dangerous," she said. "But that doesn't mean we're all _bad_."

"I am well aware that not all mages are corrupt," he said. "But that does not change the fact that possession remains a real risk to all, as does the lure of demons."

"Only to greedy or uneducated ones," Neri muttered. "And I've never said that training isn't necessary for a mage—I freed the Circle in Ferelden and turned it into a school because I _know_ how important education is." Her lip twisted a bit as she stared indignantly up at him. "But the very fact that you're asking me any of this means you're suspicious of me, expecting me to have ulterior motives for everything I do, right? And that's on _you_. You're letting your fucked up experiences with asshole magisters cloud how you see _all_ mages. Be wary, if you want—maybe it'll save your life one day— but don't condemn us all because of what _they_ did to you; that just makes you look like a close-minded asshole."

"Is it so close-minded of me to come speak with you to find out the sort of mage you are instead of continuing to presume?" he asked.

She sighed a bit. "I suppose not." She glanced up at him, guilt making her eyes soften. Her mouth opened, about to speak, but Fenris suddenly felt searing pain in his neck and he let out a choked breath, his eyes wide. Neri's face twisted with panic and she scrambled to catch him as he fell to his knees. " _Anders_!" she screamed.

Neri didn't know where the arrow that had sliced through Fenris' neck had gone, but it didn't matter—he was bleeding out right in front of her. She had her hands against tight against his neck, focusing all of her attention on stopping him from dying, using the smallest barriers she had ever conjured to keep the blood _in_ him rather than on the stone beneath them. It wasn't something she had ever tried before but it seemed to be working.

Something suddenly thudded into her left shoulder, making her cry out and lose concentration for a vital moment. She snarled as she realised it was another arrow and immediately threw a barrier over the cave's entrance before she focused back on Fenris, grimacing at the fresh spray of blood that had escaped his severed artery.

Anders skidded to his knees at her side, hands flaring to life with potent healing magic as he put his hands either side of hers, probably to slow the blood flow for when she pulled her own hands away. Theo was there too, looking shocked and terrified, his hands clutching his scarf, before he too dropped to his knees at Fenris' other side, breath leaving his opened lips in short panicked pants.

"This is going to hurt," Anders warned the elf. He gave Theo a glance and the rogue grabbed onto Fenris' hand, giving the elf something to squeeze once Anders' spell really started. Her lover glanced at her. "Alright, Neri, you can let go now."

She nodded, brow creased with effort, and dropped her spell. She pulled her hands away and Anders' own immediately replaced hers, glowing fiercely with his healing magic.

"Please be alright," Theo muttered breathlessly, over and over.

Fenris' teeth were grit tightly and he was near-crushing Theo's hand by the look of it, as Anders continued to pump magic into his neck. Neri watched with a thick swallow as the rogue stroked Fenris' hair, trying to soothe him. But even though Anders was the best healer she knew, mending a severed artery was…difficult, and was clearly requiring _a lot_ of magic, magic that was causing Fenris a great deal of discomfort.

She suddenly felt hands at her back and the soothing wave of cool pain relief flood though her. She glanced up at Bethany, only then remembering she had an arrow in her shoulder. "Pull it out?"

"Are…are you sure?" Bethany asked quietly, not wanting to disturb Anders while he was casting.

"Yep."

"O-okay." With a deep breath, Bethany tugged on the arrow, pulling it out and only making Neri hiss a little bit before the healer's hands were back and smothering the wound in magic.

"Alright, that's the artery closed up…" Anders said, shoulders slumping as he wiped his brow and quickly downed a lyrium potion before going back to do more healing.

Fenris' breath was leaving him in ragged pants but his eyes were open now instead of squeezed shut and Theo was busy pushing Fenris' hair away from his face and planting kisses on the elf's knuckles—clearly overwhelmed with joy that he was going to live. She wasn't sure if Theo knew himself just how much he cared for Fenris—knowing him, it would probably all hit him tomorrow, just how close he'd come to losing him. But for now, the rogue didn't seem to care that he was being overly affectionate with the elf.

Neri glanced back outside, through her barrier and the wall of water; she could see shapes moving and she grit her teeth, realising the people who had shot at them were still outside and needed to be dealt with.

She glanced at Fenris as she got to her feet.

"You wanted to know the kind of mage I am?" she said to him. "I'm the kind that helps those in need and crushes those who deserve it."

With that, she let her barrier drop briefly as she walked outside before putting it back in place. She heard the others shouting at her, but ignored them as she ventured out into the raging storm. She let a barrier flicker over herself just in time to stop more arrows sent her way. And then she unleashed hell on them.

* * *

 

Anders wasn't sure how long Neri had been gone for, but he knew that as long as her barrier remained standing over the entrance, she was fine. That didn't make him any more comfortable with her out in the storm fighting Maker only knew who—he could guess that it was slavers, maybe some other scouts that had come back to the cave late, but honestly it could have been anyone. And Neri had a habit of taking on more than she could actually handle when she was angry. And there was no doubt that she _was_ angry. Anders and Hawke had both been awoken by Fenris and Neri's conversation—Theo had wanted to step in but Anders had stopped him, hoping it would do everyone some good to have them clear the air. But Neri's impatience had meant the conversation had quickly gotten heated—just like most conversations Anders had with Fenris, too. And then she had gotten angry about them being attacked on her watch.

But at least Fenris was healed now; nothing but a thin pink scar remained from where the arrow had pierced him. Hawke was still kneeling next to the recovering elf, looking more worn out than the elf did from worry. The others were all crowded around a little awkwardly, most waiting for Neri's return or making sure Fenris had something to drink and a blanket to keep him warm until he was strong enough to stand and return to the back of the cave to sleep.

He took a long pull from his canteen, sensing Neri's Warden-tainted blood getting nearer, and sure enough, the barrier dropped and Neri stepped in. She was drenched, her long curls dripping over her face, and she was dragging a man with her magic, one that she threw forward with a growl.

Her eyes snapped to Varric's. "One of yours?"

Varric's expression darkened dangerously upon seeing the man on the ground and he immediately pulled Bianca from his back. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't have Bianca here put a bolt in you," he bit out.

"Please," the man on the ground said. "I needed the money-"

Varric snorted in disgust. "I paid you a decent wage to watch the Coast for slavers."

"They offered more," he said. "I just had to keep your other watchers clear of these caves." The man was panting hard and bleeding heavily. "Please, it wasn't personal."

"It is when a slaver nearly takes out one of mine," Varric muttered.

"End him," Theo said, his gaze ice cold as it locked with the man on the ground.

"No, plea-" Bianca let loose and the man collapsed to the ground, dead.

They were all quiet a moment, just letting everything that had happened sink in. Theo was the first to shift, his attention back on Fenris. "Come on, let's get you away from the cold." With a wince, Fenris accepted Theo's help getting back on his feet, but the elf looked a bit unsteady until Carver took his other arm and hung it over his shoulders. Neri watched as both Hawke brothers helped the elf to the back of the cave, with Bethany rushing on ahead and gathering up as many blankets as she could find.

"We need to get you dry, love," Anders said softly despite sounding exhausted.

"I can do that," Bethany said, reappearing next to them as she gathered up the flask of water and spare blanket from the ground. "Hand me your shirt."

Neri shared a glance with him; they both knew about the scars on her arm, scars she didn't want anyone else to see. But it was dark, and Neri gave a small nod as she shrugged her soaked shirt off. She hugged herself, shivering a bit as Bethany dried the cloth, but it wasn't long before she handed it back to her with a smile and Neri quickly pulled it back on. Bethany repeated the drying with the rest of her clothes and soon they were all snuggled back down at the far side of the cave.

"I can stay on watch," Carver said. "The rest of you need to get some rest."

"I'll join you, Junior, don't think I'll get much sleep now," Varric said, his expression still grim as he walked over toward the front of the cave.

Neri yawned as she curled up at Anders' side, smiling as he stroked her back. "Are you alright?" he asked, voice low.

She let out a small sigh and gave a slight nod of her head. "I guess."

"Hawke and I heard your conversation with Fenris," he said. She glanced up at him, her almond shaped eyes slightly hooded from tiredness.

"It's good we talked, I think. There were probably better times for it, though."

"Call me selfish, but I'm glad he picked then to chat with you. If he hadn't, that arrow could have gotten you, instead."

"True," she said, ears flicking downward. She smirked a bit. "Maybe I should thank Fenris for looking like more of a threat than me." He chuckled and she settled her head back on his chest, letting out a long breath. "Fucking slavers. Let's hope the Dalish are nicer than them."

He pulled her closer to him and she could tell he was smiling. "Based on everything you've told me about the Dalish, that doesn't sound likely, love."

She curled up against him again. "A girl can dream."

 


	35. A Mountain of Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such lateness. Sorry!   
> Got caught up with work and life and all that.

 

Theo hadn't slept at all. He'd been too plagued by the images of Fenris bleeding out on the cave floor to do that. He had always hated feeling helpless when his… when the people he cared about were in trouble or hurt. He kept thinking: what if the mages hadn't been there…? He couldn't even begin to imagine what his life would be like without Fenris in it now. The elf had become such a huge part of his life in so little time. And, because of all of that, he supposed he couldn't shy away from the fact that he was no longer trying to stop himself from coming to care for Fenris, but was now merely trying to hide from the fact that he already did, and did very much so.

All night, he had stayed at Fenris' side, making sure he was comfortable and warm and okay. But at first light, as soon as Theo had realised just how strongly he cared for Fenris, he had fled from the cave. He'd left Bethany in charge of Fenris, telling her he was heading off to hunt for some breakfast for them all, and had since been gone long enough for the sun to fully rise, casting bright orange light over the pale sand dunes of the Coast.

He had been looking for food—they'd certainly need a decent breakfast to give them enough energy for the mountain hike they'd no doubt have to do soon—but he was also rather distracted and not quite at his best. He was still in shock, really. Shock at nearly having lost Fenris. Shock that he was… He didn't think he was in love…not yet, but that had still surprised him. He'd spent so much time in denial about it all but it wasn't like knowing and being able to do absolutely jack-shit about it was any better. He sighed, a hand finding his scarf, fingers curling into the well-worn red material as his gaze fell to the still-damp sand.

"There you are!" Neri suddenly said from behind him. He whirled, surprised to see her out here.

"Is Fenris okay?" he asked immediately, chest clenching with worry.

She laughed. "Holy shit, you have it bad." Theo felt his cheeks flame and he cleared his throat. "He's fine. I came out here to tell you that you don't need to catch anything, not that it looks like you've had much luck anyway. We can use the ship's food."

"Slaver food?" he asked, brows pulling together.

She rolled her eyes. "It's food. They haven't cut up slaves for flavouring or something."

His scowl deepened and she giggled. "Sorry. Really though—there's so much salted meat on there…and rum, Theo." She pulled a bottle out from her coat pocket and grinned. "Care to join me?"

"You're drinking rum for breakfast?" Theo laughed as he followed the skipping elf over to a large boulder.

Neri clambered up onto it – with some difficulty, given her short legs – and was soon perched happily on it with her legs crossed. "Of course I am," she replied before taking a long swallow from the bottle.

Theo chuckled as he shook his head and sat down on the edge of the rock, letting his legs hang loosely over the edge.

"Want some?"

"I think I'll pass."

"Your loss." She rummaged through her other pocket and then pulled out some fabric wrapped meats. "I brought actual food too—I've not gone full sailor on you all just yet."

He smiled as he took some of the dried meat and munched on it quietly. He could feel her gaze on the side of his face and with this being Neri, he could guess what she wanted to chat about.

"So… Fenris," she said, confirming his suspicions.

He sighed. "What about him?"

She kicked the side of his leg. "You know what." He glanced at her, brow raised and she tsk-ed. "It's obvious to everyone you have the hots for him," she said. Her head tilted a bit, her ochre eyes sparkling with something knowing and probably not good. "And honestly, after seeing your reaction last night to him nearly dying…I'm pretty sure it's more than a simple crush now, too."

He glanced away and scowled down at his hands as he pulled on a thread on his fingerless gloves. She had the right of it, obviously, but he didn't like her knowing. That completely destroyed his efforts to hide that fact from everyone else.

"Theo," she whined. "Talk to me. What's stopping you from at least trying to move things along between the two of you?"

Neri watched Theo's scowl deepen and for a moment she wasn't sure he would reply at all. He turned his head just a tad, not looking at her directly but still acknowledging her. "You must have spoken with Bethany by now, in detail, about it all."

She had. Maybe it was nosey to pry so much, to want so much information, but she had experience denying people her affections despite how strongly she had felt about them. She had done it with Anders in Amaranthine when they were first reunited and she had done it with Zev too, during the Blight before finally giving in to them both. But she knew some of Theo's reasons. One very big one.

"Tanner," she said plainly.

"Tanner," he confirmed, sighing his name.

"That was four years ago though," she said, frowning a bit. "From what I've heard, even Aveline's started moving on, and she lost her husband at the start of the Blight."

Theo scoffed. "You should know Varric's tales of Guardsman Donnic and Aveline are exaggerations."

"They're still based in fact, though," she argued, before shaking her head to stop herself going off track. "So, what's holding you back from moving on?"

He pulled his legs up and hugged his knees. "It's complicated," he said, not looking at her.

"You don't want to get hurt again, right? Don't want to have to go through the ordeal of losing someone you care strongly for once more?" She couldn't begin to imagine how horrible it would be to lose someone you were that close with. She had been fairly lucky, so far. But instead of seeing some sign that she was right, she watched his face crumple with guilt. She frowned a moment, uncertain why he'd feel guilty until she realised what that probably meant.

"You don't want him to get hurt? Is that it?"

Theo tensed slightly and she knew she'd hit the nail on the head.

"You feel responsible for Tanner's death and you're worried Fenris will die too?" she asked softly.

"Something like that," he mumbled, looking miserable, making her chest ache.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" She sighed and scrubbed at her forehead. She really wasn't the best at these sorts of chats—too rash or blunt or insensitive. "I've been through similar stuff," she explained. "I just want to help, Theo."

He nodded a bit numbly. "Talking about Tanner always makes me... like this," he said waving to his slumped and unhappy self.

She exhaled slowly, then straightened. "Face me," she said abruptly. He glanced at her, frowning, and she let something playful touch her lips. "I'm not asking you to do that in hopes that you'll flash me—well, not completely," she said cheekily, managing to pull a chuffed laugh from him.

He swivelled on the rock, the leather straps of his skirt unfortunately keeping everything beneath well-covered.

"Theo," she said softly, taking his hands in hers, "your family are safe and well because of you. Because of all you've done and keep doing for them. And they will continue to be safe."

He opened his mouth, ready to argue but she silenced him with a look.

"I know you're worried about adding Fenris to the list of people you need to watch out for. That you're worried you'll be stretched too thin looking out for so many people. But Theo, you're already watching out for him. And the rest of us are too, just as we're watching everyone's backs. More than that, Fenris is an almost constant presence at your side; being with him or not doesn't change that, does it?"

"Maybe he shouldn't be around me at all," Theo muttered.

"What? Because he got shot with an arrow?" She frowned at him. "Theo, the slavers would have him if it weren't for him being friends with you."

"He might have outrun them if it weren't for him getting injured in a fight I dragged him into," Theo argued.

"You could go on forever with that sort of logic, always trying to blame yourself," she said, leaning forward a bit. "But Fenris doesn't strike me as the sort of person to do anything he doesn't want to do. Choice is important to him and he's chosen to stay at your side."

Theo rested his head on his knees, watching her with furrowed brows.

"Besides, we can't stop every injury or shit thing from happening. We can try, but bad stuff always happens. That's life."

"What if I'm the bad thing?" he asked quietly. He looked so vulnerable right at that moment and Neri wanted to hug the shit out of him, instead she forced her expression to harden.

"You aren't."

His expression crumpled further and he looked away, brows furrowed. "You don't know all the things I've done," he said.

"And I don't need to," she said softly. "I know everything you do is for your family or those you care about. That's all that matters."

His frown deepened, his gaze dropping to the space between them as he clutched at that scarf of his.

"You know, I'm a lot like you," she added, smiling encouragingly as he lifted his gaze to hers again. "Willing to do anything to keep loved ones safe."

Amber eyes searched her face, something like curiosity lighting them a bit. "How far have you gone?" he asked.

She sighed a bit, dragging her hands across her scalp. "Back in the Circle, I…let a Templar rape and beat me so he wouldn't take his anger out on Anders."

He hissed in a breath, eyes going wide. "Maker, Neri."

She smiled a little guiltily. "Yeah… It went on for months while Anders kept on escaping and making the Templar look bad. I stayed quiet that entire time and let him do whatever he wanted to me."

"I had no idea," he said, voice breaking a bit. "I mean, I knew you had scars on your back…but I never thought…"

She shrugged casually.

"Does Anders know?"

"Oh, yeah. He still feels guilty about it too, when he shouldn't. I did what needed to be done to keep him from harm." She shook her head, ruffling her long golden curls. "But that just goes to show how far people can go for their loved ones, right? So whatever you've done for them probably isn't that bad."

He swallowed thickly and looked away again, face twisting with guilt.

"Theo…"

"I've killed people to keep them safe," he said, voice barely above a whisper.

She chuffed out a laugh. "Who hasn't? That sounds like a Tuesday, to me." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes and she sighed again. "You aren't a bad person for protecting those you care about…and just because you can hurt others, doesn't mean you're going to hurt the people closest to you. You care far too much about them to do that, at least on purpose."

Something dark flashed across his face but he hid behind long, wavy bangs, lifting his hand to fluff them so she couldn't see his face properly. "You don't know that," he bit out.

"I do. And I worry about it near-constantly, myself. Like, right now, I'm pretty sure Zev's in trouble because of me. But, I have to keep reminding myself that he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him and that we both signed up for any potential trouble that came with that."

Theo nodded a little, still looking unconvinced. "You mentioned him last night to Fenris," Theo said, giving her a questioning look.

"Ah, yeah, Anders said you overheard that." She narrowed her eyes playfully. "And don't think I'm not noticing the deliberate topic change, Theodore." Something close to a smirk twitched at his lips but it was still a bit too sad to be a proper one. She sighed though her nose. "What do you want to know?"

He put his hands on his knees, straightening a bit, apparently happy for the enquiry to have turned on her instead. "Do you know where Zevran is right now?"

"No, but he was in Rivain, last I heard. Not entirely sure why he's there but it's possible he's speaking with the Rivaini Seers."

"Oh?"

"The blood mage I also mentioned? Yeah, I think he might have gone to them about that." Theo opened his mouth to ask a question but Neri cut him off. "I don't know much, honestly. The times I have encountered the blood mage were erased from my memories. I know something happened only because of the pain in my head whenever I think about those lost memories too much. I have a few leads that I want to investigate but I won't say more."

"Because you think the blood mage might be controlling me?"

"It's possible, yeah. She could have her claws in anyone, for all I know."

He frowned, nodding. "And the life expectancy thing? Ten years? What's that all about?"

"It's a Warden thing," she explained. "We don't live as long as everyone else, but I have even less time."

"Why's that?" Theo asked, his face scrunching with confusion.

"It's complicated." He gave her a look, his frown deepening and she let out a heavy breath. "It's probably to do with me killing the Archdemon," she said.

His expression hardened, anger twisting his features. "So you saved us all and you get to die young as thanks? That's-"

"Unfair?" she laughed. "I should have died killing it." She shrugged a shoulder. "So if we're being half glass full types—I actually got an extra ten years added to my life."

He scoffed, raking a hand roughly through his hair. "Do you actually see it that way?"

"Sometimes," she admitted, smirking a bit. "We've got people working on a cure but-"

"Hey, glass half full, remember?"

She smiled despairingly. "Fine. I'm sure they'll figure it out in time to save me. Happy?"

"I am, and I hope they do. Really."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Me too." She hopped off of the rock and stretched her arms above her head. "We should probably head back."

He nodded and got down from the rock too, following her as she led the way back along the sandy path. She could see him scowling at his feet and she bumped into his shoulder, trying to get his attention.

"Smile, it suits you much better than all the frowns and scowls."

He did, a bit. "I was wondering… the Templar, the one who… What happened to him?"

"Mmh. He's dead," she said, ears flickering a bit. "It's more complicated than that but it doesn't really matter."

He nodded, expression softening with sympathy. "I'm sorry you had to go through that at all."

"Feels like a lifetime ago, honestly, and I've made peace with the decisions I made." She gave him a look. "Maybe you should do the same?"

He exhaled roughly. "It's not that easy."

"Maybe, maybe not." Something teasing curled her lips upwards. "You could at least make sure you don't add to your list of regrets…"

"Neri, I swear if the next words out of your mouth are something to do with Fenris I will-"

She smirked. "When are you going to confess how utterly in love with him you are?"

"Maker's long leaky dick, Neri," he said, shaking his head. She could see the blush colouring his cheeks though, and she grinned.

"Go on, you know you want to!"

He shook his head, laughing. "Not gonna happen."

She rolled her eyes, smiling. "If you're anything like me, you won't be able to resist forever."

"I can try," he mumbled stubbornly.

…

Fenris munched quietly on the dried meat Varric had handed him, his back resting against the cold stone of the cave wall. He had woken some time ago, sleeping in later than he was used to, his neck a little sore, but otherwise no worse for wear. An injury like that should have killed him, he knew. He would need to thank the two mages for saving his life, but, so far, they had kept clear of him. Neri had left to find Hawke, who was out hunting, and Anders had been speaking with Feynriel ever since Fenris had awoken.

In the quiet of the cave, Fenris found himself mulling over all Neri had said and all she had done. She was right about him not knowing her, knowing what she had been through. He still struggled to see her as anything but a mage, struggled to see the person behind the magic. Years of seeing the absolute worst magic users were capable of made that very difficult indeed. He suspected he would always find himself wary of mages no matter how many good ones he met. And he was not wrong about the risks they posed, but he could not deny their usefulness either.

He would be the first to admit he hadn't expected Neri to react with such panic at him being shot, or to act so swiftly to save him. He still found himself attempting to figure out just what she had done to stem the flow of blood from spilling to the ground. He had only ever seen magic that removed blood, not any that kept it within a body other than the usual methods of healing which he knew Neri did not possess. He made a mental note to ask her later how she had done it.

Hawke and Neri returned then and Fenris' jaw clenched at the sight of the guilt he caught sight of in Hawke's eyes when their gazes met. He had worried Hawke might blame himself for this; frustratingly, he always seemed to find some way to do just that.

"Fenris, how are you feeling?" Neri asked as she approached with Hawke.

"I am well," he replied. "I…" He noticed Anders wandering over to his lover; they smiled at each other and Neri kissed him on the cheek in greeting. "I wanted to thank you both," Fenris said, his voice a little gruff, "for saving my life."

"You're welcome," Anders said, dipping his head.

"Was the least I could do after being on watch and not seeing those bastards coming," Neri said, a twist of something rueful at her lips.

"The blame is mine for distracting you," Fenris stated cordially.

Her lips curled into something much more mischievous, her ochre eyes bright. "It's true, you are very distracting."

Fenris ducked his head a bit, gaze dropping. He was surprised that he wasn't repulsed by her comment— apparently he was getting used to the flirting directed at him, no matter its owner.

Hawke coughed into his hand and gave Neri a look. The mage giggled. "I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Got a bottle of rum to polish off before we trek up some ridiculous mountain," she said as she wandered off with her fellow Warden. "I wonder if there'll be a dragon at the top of this one," Fenris heard her say.

"You sound excited at the prospect of that," Anders muttered, head shaking.

"Gotta keep my dragon killing skills sharp to be worthy of the title Slayer."

"Yes, because they'll revoke your title if you fail to kill a dragon every year," Anders retorted sarcastically.

"I wish they would."

"You don't mean that. Surana, Saviour of Denerim and Ender of the Fifth Blight doesn't sound as good without the slayer part at the end of your name."

"Why did you have to say the whole thing? You know I hate it."

Fenris didn't hear the rest of their conversation and he turned his gaze to Hawke who had also been watching the two mages' banter as they walked away with a disbelieving smile. Carnelian amber eyes met his and creased with guilt again.

"You're really alright?"

"I am," Fenris assured him. "You do not need to worry so much, Hawke."

A chuff of laughter slipped past Hawke's smiling lips and he rubbed at the back of his neck. "That obvious, is it?"

"As is your guilt," Fenris said. "It was not your fault."

"You got hurt on a job I dragged you out on," the rogue argued.

"No such dragging was required, I wanted to join you," Fenris said plainly.

Hawke sat down, sighing. "Seeing you…" He sucked in a shaky breath, his expression crumpling. "I'm just glad you're okay, Fen."

Fenris nodded a little shyly. "Thank you for…taking care of me."

"Any time," Hawke said firmly, before a teasing glint touched his eyes. "I enjoyed it."

Fenris snorted. "Why am I not surprised?"

Hawke chuckled. "Because I am never surprising?"

"Mh. Very true. Not a very good quality for a rogue, that," he said teasingly, making Hawke laugh.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm the worst rogue ever, I know." The rogue flashed him a bright grin that made Fenris' stomach momentarily flip. "And hey, I heard you talking with Neri last night, before you were shot."

"Ah," Fenris replied, expression sobering.

"No, I wanted to thank you for trying to get to know her. That couldn't have been easy for you," he said with a soft smile. Fenris gave him a nod, glad Hawke wasn't annoyed at him for confronting her. "Do you feel more comfortable around her now?"

"Perhaps," Fenris admitted. "I will continue to watch her carefully, all the same."

"That's fine." Hawke yawned a bit as he got back to his feet. No doubt the rogue hadn't slept much due to his guilt and worry. Fenris wished Hawke wasn't so highly strung, but he doubted that would ever change; Hawke was a compulsive worrier, after all. "So, ready for the trek up Sundermount?"

"Yes," Fenris said, also standing. There was only a slight ache in his neck as he rolled it and he was once again thankful for the mage's capabilities with healing.

"Good." Hawke smiled and it turned a little playful at the edges. "It would be terribly inconvenient if I had to carry you."

Fenris snorted. "I am heavier than I look, Hawke."

"I'm sure I'd manage by throwing you over my shoulder." Hawke gave him a wicked look. "You'd have a nice view of my arse, then. And I of yours," he added.

Fenris found himself smirking as he smoothed down his hair. "Would you really only look, Hawke?"

The rogue chuckled. "You think I'd feel you up while I have you in such a vulnerable position?" Fenris arched a brow at him and Hawke laughed again, head shaking. "I'd like to think I have more self-control than that, but you're probably right."

"We all know about your arse fetish, Hawke."

"Elf fetish more like," Hawke muttered under his breath, making Fenris' brow arch higher.

"Oi fitties!" Neri shouted, interrupting them. "We leaving, or what?"

Hawke chuckled. "Yes, if we're all ready?" He glanced at Feynriel and the mage gave him a sure nod. "Okay then. Neri, where are we most likely to find the Dalish?"

"Knowing our luck? Right at the top of the fucking mountain."


	36. I Can't Believe You've Done This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late. Again. I had the wonderful Carapatzin visit me here in England so haven't had time to post!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it! <3

 

It had started to drizzle as they walked up the stony mountain path. Theo hated drizzle. It was the kind of rain that you barely felt yet it somehow managed to make you completely wet in hardly any time at all. They all had their hoods up except for Fenris who didn't  _have_  a hood because he only had that tight armour of his on, not that Fenris seemed to mind at all. Theo was pretty sure no weather ever bothered the elf, not with the way he always looked his usual impassive, sexy self. He found his gaze falling to the tiny pink scar on his neck, the only evidence left that he'd nearly died the night before. Fenris seemed so unfazed by it all, while Theo was still trying to get his stomach to settle.

Fenris caught him staring at him and Theo looked away, blushing.

"This amulet," Fenris started to say. "You received it from a witch?"

Ah, right, he hadn't fully explained any of that, had he? He glanced back at Fenris, wincing slightly at the scowl he was already getting. "I did, yeah," he replied carefully. "Flemeth, Witch of the Wilds."

That eyebrow of his arched and Theo once again had the urge to bite it. "And you keep it around your neck?"

"Yeah… I didn't want to lose it."

Fenris snorted, whether in disbelief or disgust, Theo wasn't certain.

"She got us through the darkspawn horde, saved our lives, and got Neri back to her fellow Wardens so she could stop the Blight," Theo explained a little defensively. "In return, she asked us to take this to the Dalish near to Kirkwall. It's just an amulet, so yeah, I've kept it around my neck." He shrugged a shoulder.

"It is never  _just_  an amulet," Fenris replied.

"Yeah, I gotta agree with Fenris here, Theo," Neri said. "Nothing is ever simple when it comes to Flemeth."

"How do you know that?" he asked her, glancing over his shoulder to look at her. Some of her curls had escaped her hood and were frizzing in the drizzle.

"Because I travelled with her daughter during the Blight," she said, expression darkening a little.

"And she told you about her mother?"

"Yes."

Theo pulled the amulet out from behind his scarf and rubbed his thumb over the cold metal. "So what do you think it  _does_?"

Neri eyed the amulet, brows furrowing. "I don't know, but knowing Flemeth, it won't be anything good."

Theo sighed a bit and tucked the amulet back in. "Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough."

"Do you think the Dalish are far, then?" Feynriel asked.

Theo shrugged a shoulder. "I've not seen any signs of others on this path, but I guess the Dalish are light-footed enough to not really leave one?"

Fenris nodded. "Quite possibly."

"I hope they'll accept me," Feynriel said, sounding a little anxious, not that Theo could blame him. "I don't know what I'll do if they won't."

Theo smiled at him reassuringly. "We'll figure something out, if they don't."

"I'm sure they will though," Bethany added, also smiling.

Feynriel nodded a bit and lifted his chin, looking more confident, and Theo returned to admiring Fenris.

"How are you feeling?" he asked him quietly.

"I am fine, Hawke." He gave him a look. "You do not need to keep checking in on me."

Theo gave him a cheeky smirk. "Maybe I'm just really hoping I'll get to carry you?"

Fenris snorted and gave him a wry look. "You aren't worried all of your blood will travel south, if you do so?"

Theo's cheeks flushed with coloured as he smiled teasingly. "Happens all the time, I'm pretty much used to it, by now."

Something wicked played across the elf's face. "Is that why you used the restroom so much when staying with me?"

Theo blinked at him, cheeks flushing even more and Fenris snorted in amusement.  _Damnit_ , Theo thought. "Who does stretches in really tight leggings?" he asked, voice pitched a bit higher than normal.

"I do  _everything_  in leggings," Fenris countered.

"Well, it's bloody distracting," Theo said with a huff that only had Fenris snickering quietly.

"Should I endeavour to distract you less?" Fenris asked with an amused twist to his lips.

Theo huffed again. "I think that's probably an impossible task, honestly," he said, making Fenris smirk before looking away to focus on their surroundings once more. Naturally, Theo admired his profile as they walked. With Fenris flirting back more and more, Theo found himself getting increasingly shameless with it all and that was dangerous because it was only a step or two away from him  _acting_  on it all. And that was something he still didn't want to do.

"So, Freckles," Varric said from somewhere a bit behind him. "What was the Witch of the Wilds' daughter like?"

Neri snorted. "Pretty. Much prettier than her mother, although the lack of wrinkles helped with that," she said, smiling. Varric chuckled. "She was kind of cold, always a bit of an outsider. But we became friends and she saved my life more than once."

"Could she turn into a dragon like her mother?" Bethany asked.

"Nah. Would have made winning the Blight a lot easier if she could," Neri said. "She did turn into wolves and birds a lot though."

Theo shook his head. He still didn't understand how such magic worked; it was just too bizarre to imagine a human shrinking down into something tiny or growing into something huge. Could mages literally be flies on the wall? That thought made him shiver.

"We are being watched," Fenris whispered.

That sent another shiver through him. He glanced at the nearby ruins, rocks and trees but couldn't see anything.

"Is it the Dalish?" Theo asked.

Fenris' ears flickered as he scanned their environment. "Possibly."

Theo stepped toward the bushes, hands held out. "If you're watching us, we don't mean you any harm!" he shouted out. "I was told to come and see your Keeper by a powerful mage."

"What is it you want with our Keeper, shemlen?" a suspicious sounding voice said from behind him, at the other treeline. He turned to face him, keeping his hands up and he spotted several more elves standing amongst the trees, bows aimed at them all. Theo instinctively stepped in front of his sister.

"Flemeth asked us to bring her this amulet," Theo said, stepping forward and slowly pulling the amulet free of his neck.

The elves all glanced at one another, most of them frowning. "You are the one she was expecting?" one asked, his head tilted. "I had not thought it to be a shemlen."

"Our camp is on the next rise," a female hunter explained. "Expected or not, do anything we don't like, strangers, and we'll fill you with arrows."

"Always so charming," Neri muttered sarcastically, and Theo couldn't help but agree with her. So far, the Dalish were living up to every stereotype he'd ever heard.

"Uhh, thanks, I think," Theo said with a dip of his head to the Dalish scouts, before he led the way forward, up the rocky hillside path.

The narrow trail soon opened out onto a flatter, enclosed area where dozens of Dalish elves were spread out doing various tasks. He had never seen a Dalish camp before, or any Dalish elves, for that matter. But it was all almost exactly how he'd pictured it would be. Tents and fires scattered around the clearing, those famous Dalish Aravels off to one side, the elves themselves with their Dalish tattoos and bare feet, and the mistrustful glares on their faces as Theo and his companions walked through their camp.

Standing by the main fire was a woman he assumed was the Keeper. Her greying hair was pulled back neatly, and she had on long elegant robes the colour of thick smoke, with golden trim and embroidery sewn into them in pretty vine-like patterns that matched the pale ink on her face. She held herself proudly, hands clasped behind her back and eyes closed as the fire warmed her skin. Theo headed toward her.

"Keeper Marethari?" he asked. The Keeper's eyes opened, huge pine green orbs focusing on him immediately. "I was told to bring you this amulet." Her head tilted in curiosity and he passed it to her, letting her examine it.

When she returned her gaze to him, she was frowning. "Let me look at you," she said and Theo shifted uncomfortably as she seemed to look  _through_  him. She hummed. "There's truth in your face and darkness in your heart. Not qualities often combined."

No, he supposed most bad guys knew how to lie.

"Tell me how this burden fell to you, child," she said, her eyes creasing with concern.

"I…didn't realise it was much of a burden," Theo admitted. "It's just an amulet."

"No, it is much more than that," the Keeper said.

"So everyone keeps telling me," he sighed out. "The person who gave it to me saved my life and those of my family back during the Blight; in return, I agreed to bring this to you."

She nodded, a subtle smile touching her lips briefly. "I honour you for coming to me, but I'm afraid your part in this is not yet done."

"I figured as much," he said, shoulders slumping. "She turned into a dragon, roasted some darkspawn and got us safely through the horde. Simply returning the amulet would be too simple in comparison."

"Indeed," the Keeper said, eyes crinkling. "There is an altar at the top of the mountain, that is where you must take this, and where you must perform a Dalish rite for the departed."

"And if we don't?" Neri asked.

"The woman who saved you, Asha'bellanar, is not one worth angering," Marethari said, frowning a bit.

Neri scowled at that. "Flemeth doesn't scare me."

"She should," Marethari said firmly before returning her gaze to Theo. "After the rite is complete, return the amulet to me and your debt will be repaid."

"Alright," he said. "How do we do this rite?"

"I will send my First with you. She will see to it that the ritual is done." The Keeper paused a moment, her brows pulling together just a little. "And when it is complete, I must ask, as a favour to me, that you take her with you when you go."

Theo blinked. "What?" he said while he collected his thoughts. "You just want me to take your…apprentice with me back to Kirkwall? For how long?"

Marethari lifted her head a bit stiffly, straightening her back some more. "It will be a permanent arrangement," she explained. "It is not one I want, but it is her wish."

Theo glanced at his companions, noticing that Bethany and Neri looked just as confused as he.

"Don't most Dalish hate the city? Why would she choose to willingly go there?" Neri asked, sounding baffled. "Especially when Kirkwall's such a shithole."

"Hey, it's my shithole," Varric argued, and Neri stuck her tongue out at him.

"And she's a mage, isn't she, if she's your First?" Bethany said. "Kirkwall is  _not_  a safe place for mages."

"All of this she is aware of, still, it is her decision." There was such sadness on the Keeper's face and she looked pleadingly up at Theo. "Please, look after her for me."

His gut tightened. That was yet another person he needed to watch out for. "I…will try."

The Keeper nodded in understanding. "Thank you." She unclasped her hands from in front of her. "Merrill is waiting for you just up the mountain path," she said, pointing.

Theo nodded. "There was…one more thing." He glanced at Feynriel. The young boy looked nervous with his hands fidgeting in front of him. "This is Feynriel. He's an elf-blooded apostate who's been hiding in the city for a while now. We believe he is…" Theo glanced to Fenris, trying to recall the word.

"Somniari," Fenris filled in for him.

"Right, that."

"A Dreamer?" The Keeper said, a little in awe, her eyes widening just a touch. "Those are rare indeed."

Theo let out a hum of agreement. "We were hoping he could stay here, with the Dalish. He doesn't have anywhere else to go."

The Keeper looked at Feynriel, head tilting slightly. "It may be possible to teach you to master your gift, but it will not be easy and you will always be seen as an outsider here, child."

"Anything's better than getting taken by the bloody Templars," Feynriel muttered. "I want this, Keeper. I'd rather be alive and lonely than made Tranquil, any day."

Marethari smiled softly. "Very well. Come, let me show you around while these others head up the mountain."

…

Merrill had to be the cutest elf Theo had ever met— _sorry, Neri._ She had dark brown hair, cut short, with some of it tied into cute little braids. Her big green eyes were a similar forest green to Fenris' and the delicate lines of her facial tattoos extended down her shoulders and arms in beautiful spiralled patterns. But the cutest thing of all was the fact that she just  _kept_  rambling. She hadn't stopped talking since they'd greeted her.

He felt bad that she was so nervous around them all, and that only led him to wondering why the fuck she would want to come live in a city full of humans instead of staying with her clan. He was certain there was a story there, but until the ritual was completed, he'd focus on the task at hand. Or he'd try to, not an easy task when Merrill kept talking about anything and everything with them all.

"How do you get your hair so big?" the Dalish elf was asking Neri. "Mine's always so flat, at most it goes sort of birds nest-y when I forget to brush it for a while."

Neri chuckled. "Hey, at least you don't lose hairbrushes in your hair when you do try to comb it, right?"

"Oh, no, that's never happened to me." The elf tilted her head, long elegant ears flickering. "Has that really happened to you? Are they still in it?"

"Yep," Neri said. "It's a real pain in my head."

Merrill looked utterly amazed, and Theo couldn't help but smile. "How many are in there? Is that what's making it look so big? That can't be very comfortable at all, can it? How do you sleep at night with them in your hair? It would be like lying on a lumpy stone."

Neri started to snicker.

"Oh, you were joking, weren't you?"

"Yes, yes I was." Neri grinned and wrapped an arm around Merrill's shoulder. "You're adorable."

Theo slowed his pace, leaving the girls to walk and talk alone, and dropped back to walk at Fenris' side. With Merrill being a mage—one they needed to take with them back to Kirkwall—Theo couldn't help but worry how about how Fenris was feeling.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yes."

Theo let out a small sigh and nodded.

"No," Fenris amended. "You seem to collect mages, Hawke."

"I know." He gave him a guilty smile. "But Bethany, Neri, Anders… they're not  _so_  bad, right? They did save your life."

Fenris grunted.

"I'm sure Merrill will be fine too."

"Every mage you befriend increases the chances of the Templars noticing you and your family," Fenris said. "You are usually more cautious, Hawke."

Theo opened and closed his mouth and then frowned. Fenris was right about the increased risk, but somehow, he felt like Bethany was safer than she had ever been. That was likely because of Neri being with them now; he knew she wouldn't let the Templars take Bethany.

"I'm…not alone anymore," he admitted, "in protecting her, I mean. And we're not nobodies anymore—we're the Slayer's friends. That doesn't mean I'll throw caution to the wind—I still worry, constantly—but I  _do_  feel like Bethany's the safest she's ever been in this city right now. And I can't just…take Merrill to Kirkwall and then never visit her. I mean  _look_  at her." Merrill took that moment to get distracted by a pretty flower at the side of the path and it was only because of Carver grabbing her that she didn't slip on the rocks and fall down the mountain. She started giggling and thanking Carver for saving her while Theo's brother blushed. "She'll be dead within a week or worse if we don't help her."

"Very well," the elf shrugged. "I was merely curious."

"Or…you were worried about Bethany's safety too," Theo teased, smirking at him.

Fenris gave him a  _look_  and Theo snickered.

"She is your sister, Hawke, if anything happened to her, it would destroy you."

Theo's laughter died off and he blinked in surprise. "…It would, yeah." He tilted his head, curious. "So you care about  _my_  well-being, do you?" he asked, a smirk twitching the side of his mouth ever upward.

"If you are non-functional, I have no-one to aid me against Danarius," Fenris deadpanned.

Theo stopped walking and Fenris glanced back at him, the briefest of smirks at his lips and then it was gone.

"Ass!" Theo laughed, catching back up with him.

"Oh! Are we playing the ' _stare at Fenris' ass'_  game again?" Neri asked.

"What? No!" Theo choked.

Fenris arched a brow at him.

"We play it all the time," Neri said.

"No! We don't," he said hastily.

"Oh, right. That's just you," she said, snorting out a laugh.

"Neri!" he complained, turning redder by the minute.

"Ohhh," Merrill cooed. "Do you like him?"

"Maker," Theo hissed. He couldn't even say no because he couldn't lie for shit and it would be even more obvious that he  _did_. Fenris' expression was hidden from view by his hair but Theo was pretty sure there was colour on his cheeks too.

"What?" the Dalish elf asked. "Did I miss something? Why are you so red?"

Varric cleared his throat. "Say, Daisy? Why don't I introduce you to Bianca?"

"Bianca?"

Varric glanced over his shoulder as he walked off with Merrill and Theo mouthed a  _thank you_  to him. Bethany, Carver, Neri and Anders were all still giggling but at least they weren't making anymore comments. Theo made a point of strolling on ahead of Fenris so nobody could claim he was staring at the elf's arse.

It wasn't much further until the path disappeared inside a cave, so he waited outside for the others to catch up, checking over all his flasks and knives.

"I've never seen such big muscles," Merrill was saying to a red-faced Carver as she poked at his arms. Theo couldn't help but grin at the sight. "Could you lift me up?" she asked.

"What?  _Now_?" Carver asked, voice hoarse.

"No, no, we shouldn't keep Asha'bellanar waiting, I was just wondering if you  _could,_  is all."

"He could probably lift us both up at the same time, Merrill," Neri said. "Not sure where he would grip us though…" Her eyes started to sparkle.

"Please don't finish that thought," Bethany said.

Everyone chuckled.

"Did I miss something dirty?" Merrill asked Varric.

"I'll explain later, Daisy," he said, patting her arm.

"So, I'm guessing we have to go through this cave?" Anders asked, nose crinkling.

"Yes, it leads to the top of the mountain," Merrill said with a firm nod.

"I hate caves," Neri muttered.

"You and me both, Freckles, you and me both."

"Aren't dwarves supposed to like being under ground?" Merrill asked as she led the way forward.

"Varric's not like other dwarves," Bethany pointed out.

"She's not wrong," Anders said. "He's charming, for one."

"He smells good, for another," Neri added.

"Nor does he have a beard," Fenris added.

"It's definitely on his chest instead," Neri said. "His very soft and manly chest…"

"Again, eyes are up here, Freckles," Varric laughed.

Neri sighed a little wistfully. "I want to rub my face against it."

Varric chuckled. "You want to do that, in the middle of the dark and scary cave which probably has giant hissing spiders in it that will swoop down on us at any moment? Sure, be my guest."

"Uhh, on second thought, maybe now's not the  _best_  time for it," Neri said, suddenly looking around nervously.

"I swear, if a spider lands on my head…" Carver muttered.

"The spiders in here usually aren't very venomous," Merrill said happily. "And some of them are very pretty colours."

"Euughh," Neri groaned.

Theo smirked. "Is the great Slayer of the Archdemon afraid of  _spiders_?"

Neri glared at him and for a second his breath hitched in his throat. He didn't think he would  _ever_  get over the glowing eyes elves had in the dark and right now there were three sets of them spread out throughout the cave.

The sudden hissing made even him jump and Neri screamed as the spiders seemingly came out of the walls and surrounded their group.

"Fucking fuckedy, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Neri shouted as she started throwing her magic around in all directions.

"I guess that answers that question," Bethany said, laughing.

Theo snickered but the air got knocked out of his lungs as a blast of magic hit him full in the chest, sending him flying back into the dirt. He coughed as he sat back up, finding Neri just throwing spells out at random with her eyes closed. "Neri!  _Aim_."

"Nnyyyyehhhagh. Can't. Fucking, fuck. They're everywhere!"

"Barriers!" Anders yelled, even as he began casting.

Neri apparently managed to get it together enough to do that much just in time for Anders' spell to rip through the air. Lightning crashed down around them, lighting the entire cave up in an eerie purple light as the bolts arced about the cave, leaping from one spider to the next until all of them were curled up on their backs, charred and dead.

Neri gagged. "Now it stinks of roasted spider."

"At least they're dead," Bethany said even as she lifted her scarf up around her nose.

"And we no longer have a mage loosing uncontrolled magic at us all," Fenris said. Theo didn't miss the glare he shot Neri—apparently he too had been hit with a blast of it.

"I really don't like spiders, okay?"

"No shit, Freckles."

"Let's just get out of here and to the top of the mountain," Theo said. "Carver, you can lead the way, seeing as you're always so fond of being out of my shadow."

"Oh no, I'm not walking head first into anymore spiders.  _You_  lead."

"Agh," he groaned. "I hate the webs though—they get stuck in my beard."

Bethany giggled. "Might be a sign you need to  _shave_ , brother."

"Don't you dare," Neri said. "I love that beard."

"Yeah, and someone around here needs to have a beard if Varric can't grow one," Anders said.

" _Can't_  isn't the right word there, Blondie," Varric retorted. "It's more  _won't_. The less I look like Bartrand, the better."

"I'd like to see you with a beard, Varric," Bethany said. "I think you'd look handsome."

"How come facial hair on  _him_ is okay?" Theo asked, eyes narrowing.

"Because he'd actually take care of his beard, unlike a certain scraggly-looking brother I know."

"I don't look  _that_  scraggly," Theo argued. Everyone stared at him with brows arched and he rubbed at his beard self-consciously. "Alright, maybe it could use a trim."

"If Theo shaves completely, does that mean Carver will miraculously grow facial hair just so he doesn't look like him?" Neri asked, grinning.

Carver folded his arms over his chest. "I could grow a beard, if I wanted to," he said.

"Right, and I could be the Queen of Antiva."

"Really?" Merrill asked.

Neri laughed. "No, Merrill."

"I see light ahead," Bethany said.

"Thank the Maker for that," Anders sighed. "I hate the dark."

"You're a Warden and you hate the dark?" Theo asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Dumbass didn't give me a choice so I had to conscript him," Neri explained.

"To be fair, the last Deep Roads I was in were rather well lit up thanks to that inferno golem."

"Apparently not well enough seeing as you decided to set yourself on fire," Neri muttered.

"I did not  _set myself on fire_."

Neri snickered. "You looked so funny without eyebrows."

Anders sighed.

The wind had picked up by the time they exited the cave. The sky above looked dark and foreboding, like a storm was about to roll in. He was about to say they should get a move on when he realised they couldn't actually move  _onward_  at all. There was a shining blue barrier blocking the way forward. It looked like one of Neri's but obviously wasn't as the elf was staring at it just as confusedly.

"I can open the way forward," Merrill said. "One moment."

Before Theo could even register what she was doing, the Dalish elf was slicing open her palm. Theo hissed in a breath as the blood rushed out of the wound, filling the air with that disgusting metallic smell. The droplets bubbled up through the air and then Merrill directed them at the barrier; they splattered against it and the barrier dissipated.

Theo blinked and then glanced at all of his companions. Fenris, naturally, looked disgusted, his lip curled in a snarl. Anders looked annoyed, his brow furrowed. Bethany looked worried and had moved closer to Carver who was glaring at the Dalish elf. Varric was shaking his head and sighing. And Neri just looked…curious.

"Blood magic? Foolish. Very foolish," Fenris said, lip still twisted with disgust.

"Yes, it was blood magic, but I know what I'm doing," Merrill countered. "The spirit helped us, didn't it?"

"Spirit?" Anders asked. "You mean demon."

"What kind was it?" Neri asked. "No, wait, let me guess. Pride? It's  _always_  Pride with the Dalish."

Merrill frowned at her. "It was a spirit of Pride, yes. But he was really very nice."

"They're always nice," Bethany said, brow creasing with concern. "Until they decide to possess you."

"Yes, I know that," Merrill argued. "And it won't happen—I know how to defend myself."

"Thinking you're stronger or smarter than a pride demon?" Fenris scoffed. "You've already lost."

"Okay," Theo said, interrupting everyone, "why don't we just keep going, seeing as the way is clear now?"

"Good, looks like rain," Varric grumbled.

"Be careful ahead, restless things prowl the heights," Merrill warned. She stepped forward into what looked like an old graveyard. Most of the headstones had crumbled away from age or weathering and Theo couldn't help but shiver as an unnatural looking fog rolled over them. "In the days of Arlathan, the elders came here to sleep.  _Uthenera_. The endless dream, they called it. But they don't sleep peacefully anymore."

"That's not ominous at all," Theo muttered. He should have expected they'd end up in a graveyard what with them needing to do a rite for the departed and all.

"This place gives me the heebie-jeebies," Bethany said.

"Bianca and I'll protect you, Sunshine, don't you worry."

"The spirits here are drawn to strong emotions," Merrill continued. "Some simply want to remember what it was like to feel certain things, others are more malicious. Keep your wits about you."

"That makes it so much better," Anders snarked.

Theo couldn't help but be nervous—he knew how easily he could be affected by things. That desire demon had fucked with his head for an entire day after it had cast its horror spell. The last thing he needed was some asshole ghost dragging those memories back up again to spite him.

"What do we do if they come for us?" Theo asked, resting his hands on the hilts of his daggers as he stepped slowly through the fog. It was getting thicker every second.

"I know some words that can banish them," he heard Merrill reply from ahead of him—he could barely make her out now; she was just a small green blur in the dark fog.

"Bethany, hold onto someone," Theo called out.

"I've got her, Hawke," Varric said.

"Carver, you good?"

"I'm right behind you," his brother muttered.

"Neri, Anders?"

"We're fine freaked out, but fine," Anders replied.

"Fen?"

"I am fine, Hawke. Are… you?"

"Awwww," Neri cooed from somewhere to his right.

"I'm alright, just wish we could  _see_."

"Hey, Freckles, can't you clear all of this with your magic?"

"You really want me to blindly throw magic around again?"

"Ah, maybe not," Varric replied.

"I hear whispering," Bethany suddenly said.

They all went silent. Sure enough, there it was. Theo tried to pinpoint where it was coming from but it sounded like it was all around them. "Stay alert," he called out.

"I think we're pretty alert already, brother," Bethany retorted.

"Nyyyahhh!"

"What! What happened?" Theo cried.

"One of them  _touched_  me!" Neri squeaked.

"You alright, Freckles?"

"She's fine," Anders said. "Just having a mild panic attack."

"It didn't do anything else to you?" Carver asked.

"Trust me, the touch was enough!"

Something cold brushed against Theo's wrist and he gasped. That coldness tightened and a figure formed out of the fog. It was vaguely elven and staring right at him where he was frozen to the spot. He could hear whispered words but they were quiet and muffled like they were muttering at him through a pillow. But he was flooded with an emotion that was clear as day to understand: regret. He frowned in confusion, not understanding why the spirit would be showing him that of all things.

And then a cry cut through the eerie silence, a cry Theo had only heard once before – in his garden. He was bolting toward it before he'd even fully registered it was Fenris who had cried out.

"Fenris!"

The elf groaned and Theo rushed in his direction, closing in on him.

"Fenris? What happened?" he asked as he found the elf on one knee, teeth gritted.

The elf shook his head, his expression more troubled than Theo had ever seen it. "It's nothing. I am fine."

"You don't look-"

"I said I am fine," Fenris said as he pushed to his feet and brushing off Theo's concern as he continued walking through the fog. Theo stared at his back, confused and worried.

"It isn't much farther now," Merril said, suddenly at his side. "These spirits seem to want to help," she said.

"Didn't look like they helped Fenris much," Theo snapped at her.

She was right about it not being much farther until they were out of the fog, however, and if anyone else had any encounters with spirits, they didn't voice it. Ahead of them was the altar Marethari had mentioned. The skies were nearly black above and Theo sighed a bit; they were so going to get soaked. Fenris was standing with his arms folded against a nearby wall, trying to look impassive, but even Theo could see the disturbed look in his eyes.

Merrill told Theo to place the amulet on the altar, and he did so. They all listened, waiting, while Merrill spoke the elven words that would complete the Rite. But whatever Theo had expected to happen once she was finished, didn't. Instead, the amulet began to glow a bright gold, light pouring out of it and swirling around them. Then a glowing ethereal form of Flemeth stepped out of the amulet and slowly solidified right before their eyes.

Theo stared at the witch in awe, his mouth agape. He could hear Neri curse under her breath from somewhere behind him as Flemeth stepped off of the altar and smiled. "Aaah, and here we are!" she said.

Merrill immediately bowed. "Andaran atish'an, Asha'bellanar."

Flemeth turned her cat-like gaze on her. "One of the people, I see, so young and bright," she said, expression softening. "Do you know who I am, beyond that title?"

"I know only a little."

"Then stand. The people bend their knee too quickly." Flemeth then turned her gaze to Theo. "So refreshing to see someone who keeps their end of the bargain. I half-expected my amulet to end up in a merchant's pocket!"

"I did forget about it for a while," he admitted cautiously. "Kind of regretting keeping it around my neck all this time now though…"

She laughed. "You only carried a small piece of me, but it was all I needed. A bit of security, should the inevitable occur."

"So… are there two of you wandering around now?" Neri asked. "Because I never killed you, despite Morrigan asking me to."

Flemeth's yellow eyes flickered to Neri and the witch smiled. "Perhaps there are! Now I can get twice the amount of work done." She cackled a bit. "You have my thanks for not killing me," she said.

"Starting to think I should have, just for how satisfying it would have been," Neri muttered.

Flemeth smiled and there was something glinting in her eyes as she stared at Neri. "I see my ritual was successful."

Neri scoffed. "S _uccessful_? Is that what you'd call it?"

"You are alive, are you not? I call that a success!" She turned her gaze back to Theo. "I shall be on my way in just a moment, but before I go, a word of advice. We stand on the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment…and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly."

He huffed out a breath of laughter. "Easy for the  _dragon_  to say."

Flemeth smirked. "We all have our challenges."

"Speaking of flying," Neri suddenly said, stepping forward. "We're going to talk,  _privately."_

The elven mage suddenly sent a blast of magic at the witch, and Theo watched, utterly horrified as Flemeth was thrown backwards through the air and off the edge of the cliff. Neri darted after her and leapt off the cliff too. Anders ran forward, screaming, and then a dragon soared upwards through the air, wings flapping loudly, with Neri riding on its back.

"Oh, Creators!" Merrill cried, her hands fisted in her dark hair. "I can't believe she just shoved Asha'bellanar off a cliff!"


	37. Forgotten But Not Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning for suicidal themes.

 

_~Set a few days before the last chapter~_

With a bitter snarl, Zevran swatted Rinna's hands away. He could see fear widen those bright wet eyes of hers. They flickered pleadingly across his face, searching desperately for some way to convince him.

"Please Zevran," she begged. "Don't do this. It's  _me_."

He hated the way his gut twisted at the sound of her voice cracking. Hated that he had allowed himself to care for her at all. Jaw clenched, he shook his head, taking a step back away from her grabbing hands. A sob fell from her trembling lips and her hands fell to the dirt of the floor where she knelt pathetically before him.

"I love you," she whispered up at him. "I did  _not_  betray you."

He laughed loudly, head thrown back, even as his heart clenched at her words. He wanted to believe her. But he did not.

"Even if that is true," he said as he stared down at her, "I do not care."

He heard the hitch of her breath in her throat, saw the widening of her eyes. He had hurt her with his words.  _Good_ , he thought harshly, for she had hurt him too.

He gave Taliesen a nod. The warrior stepped forward and grabbed her by that favoured braid of hers. He yanked her head back, making her yelp, but the sound stuttered off into a gurgled gasp as Taliesen brought his knife clean across her throat.

Zevran watched, staring down at her wide and slowly dulling eyes as blood flowed freely from her neck. His lips twisted and he spat on her, disgusted that she would betray the Crows. That she would betray  _him_.

"But I didn't," her voice suddenly echoed in his mind, cold and full of hatred.

He woke with a gasp, his eyes flying open.

He recognised the bed he was in immediately. It was one he and Rinna often visited together for weekends by the sea. The doors that led out to the decking were open and the net curtains billowed in the warm Antivan breeze. Something shifted next to him and his gaze fell on the stirring form of Rinna. He let out a relived sigh at seeing her alive and well. One of her eyes squinted open to look at him as a soft hand slid up his still rapidly rising and falling chest, coming to a stop over his pounding heart.

"Another nightmare?" she asked, voice slightly mumbled by the pillow.

"Mmmh," he hummed back, still disturbed by the images he had seen, by the things he had done to the woman he loved.

She sensed his dark mood and sat up more fully, a worried frown furrowing her brows. "Tell me."

He joined her in sitting against the headboard and found her hand with his, needing to hold her. He let out a sigh as he nodded. "You died," he said plainly. "We killed you, Taliesen and I." He studied her face, watching as her brows lifted slightly. He focused his gaze back on their entwined hands. "I thought you had betrayed us, betrayed me. So, I let him slit your throat."

Her hand tightened its grip on his and her gaze flicked across his face, eyes searching, just as they had in his dream. "I would never betray you, Zev," she said firmly. He nodded, his mouth suddenly dry.

"I know this,  _amore mia_."

She smiled and leant in to kiss him.

He moaned into the contact of her soft lips against his, some of the tension from his nightmare getting washed away by the warmth of her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her slender waist, tugging her closer to him so she straddled him, their bodies flush together. Her long hair tickled his knuckles as he slid his fingers up into her hair and fisted the loose tresses, pulling her head back to deepen the kiss.

He lost himself to the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her.

She was alive, she was here, and she was okay.

Her teeth sank down into his lip, drawing blood – and a moan – from his mouth. Her tongue slipped past his kiss-swollen lips to tangle with his own and he happily hummed, letting her control the kiss for the moment.

It was the sudden return of that metallic taste of blood that had him frowning, however. He could feel it smeared across his upper lip so he pulled back, briefly, to wipe it away. A startled gasp left his lips when his hand came back coated in blood – much more blood than he had expected from a simple love bite.

Rinna shuddered, drawing his gaze back to her, back to the blood now gurgling out of her mouth and running down her chin. She collapsed against him, choking as he caught her, held her. He stared in horror at the gash along her neck, at the blood running freely from it, his hands automatically lifting to try to stem the flow of blood. It was no use, though, the wound was too deep.

More blood bubbled out of her mouth as she tried to talk and he tightened his clammy grip on her, his arms shaking as he held her tight to him. He dragged his gaze away from the wound, from where his hands desperately tried to hold back the blood, to look into her eyes. And his breath caught in his throat at the sight of the absolute  _hatred_  in them.

"You…you did this," she garbled, choking on her blood, her once beautiful lips twisted into a sickening sneer.

"N-no," he replied shakily. His heart thudded in his chest as terror crept up his spine. "I did not know, Rinna. I thought you had betrayed me." His eyes stung with tears and he tried to blink them away, but it was no use. They fell hot and wet down his cheeks, falling onto her face.

"You  _killed_  me." Another shudder, more blood rushing past his fingers. "Spat on me," she hissed. Her eyes narrowed into steely slits. "You deserve death."

There was a dagger in her hands. He did not know where it had come from. But as it came toward him, as it slipped up between his ribs to his pounding heart, he did not flinch or resist.

Zevran awoke screaming and clutching at his aching chest. It felt very much like the knife he had dreamt was stabbing him; he knew it was simply his guilt, however. He closed his eyes, sighing, and then thought better of it, not wishing to see Rinna's dying eyes stare back at him again. He focused instead on getting his breathing back under control, bitterly remembering his Crow training for such things.

It was only then that he noticed his surroundings. It was warm, yes, but there was a great deal more humidity here than he was used to. Antiva always had a much drier heat, one that did not leave you quite so sweaty, not that there was very much wrong with sweat, of course. The room, too, was not the one he recalled falling asleep in. He should have been in the shared dormitory of the Crows outpost he had been stationed at for months, sleeping in the bottom bunk below Taliesen. Instead, he was in a small stone built room, alone.

Light poured in through one long stain-glassed window casting shimmery colour on the grey walls, and, just across from his bed was a small fireplace filled with long-since burned out firewood and ash. It was not impossible he had gone out drinking after finding little chance of sleep—that was how he had spent many nights since Rinna's death, since they found out she had not in fact betrayed them. But he was due to leave for Ferelden soon and he had wanted to sleep at least a little before taking ship. Suicide mission or no, he wanted to put up a good fight against the Wardens before dying and he wouldn't be able to do that hungover or exhausted.

He sat up slowly, wincing as his head throbbed. Odd that he didn't recall drinking the night before, but with this hangover, he could hardly claim otherwise. He rubbed at his temples, sighing heavily. Usually his hangovers left him feeling lethargic and weak, but this time it was only his head that seemed affected by the alcohol he had apparently consumed.

Wearily, he pushed the covers off of himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Clothes he assumed were his, yet had never seen before hung on a chair and fine leather boots were tucked underneath it. He stood up to admire the fine armour more closely. It looked well-worn but properly cared for and, interestingly, it was in his size. The gloves, they looked just like…like his mother's had. He frowned, not understanding where such fineries had come from. Was this some sort of apology gift from Taliesen? After all, he had been the one to slide the knife across Rinna's throat. Still, it wasn't like the Crows to hand out gifts; it would be a first, in fact.

The door suddenly opened and, out of instinct, Zevran grabbed the fire iron from next to the fire place and held out in front of him. Standing in the doorway was an older woman. Robes swished around her ankles as she came to a stop just inside the room. Her dark hair was flecked with grey and tied atop her head in a messy bun. The wrinkles around her eyes crinkled as she chuckled at the sight of him. He lifted the fire iron a little higher, trying and failing to look terribly threatening given that he was only in a loose night shirt and smalls.

"Who are you?" he asked, even as he tried to figure out how much of a threat she posed. She was certainly no Crow. She looked like a mage and that made him tighten his grip on his makeshift weapon.

"I'm Bea," she said. "And you are Zevran Arainai, formerly of the Antivan Crows."

He tried to hide his frown even as he replied to her. "Formerly?" he laughed. "No, I am very much still a Crow, cara mia."

She sighed slightly, looking disappointed. "Tell me, what is the last thing you remember before waking up today?"

"I –" He frowned slightly. "I was to assassinate the Grey Wardens of Ferelden."

Her shoulders slumped as her lips pressed into a thin line. "I see. I had hoped you would not lose so much of your memory, or any at all." She shook her head, giving him a sympathetic look. "The year is 9:32 Dragon. You've forgotten two years of your life, sonny."

He let out a short incredulous breath of laughter, but her expression remained grim. If this was some sort of jest by the other Crows, it was one done in poor taste. He was in no mood for such things.

"An amusing joke. Did Taliesen put you up to this in some foolish attempt to lighten my mood?" he asked offhandedly, his voice tinged with bitterness.

"I haven't got a clue who that is, hon." She nodded with her head, drawing his attention to a large book sitting on a dresser at the end of the bed. "Your diary," she explained. "You knew you might lose your memories, so you wrote everything important down. I suggest you give it a read."

He stared at it, scowling, as the woman lingered in the doorway. Could what she said be true? Could any of it? Two years had passed since Rinna had died? He could not wrap his mind around that. The grief, the anger, the  _guilt_  clung to him as if it had all just happened yesterday, and it had, more or less. Rinna had been dead a week to him. It was all  _so_  fresh in his mind. How could so much time have passed?

"Time passes quickly, it's always ticking away. Blink and its gone," Bea said, making him shiver.

He scowled at her. "Surely you did not just-"

"Read your thoughts?" she laughed out. "You asked me that the first time we met." His scowl deepened, eyes narrowing. Her features softened. "You've been through a lot – but it will sound better coming from yourself," she said with a smile. "Read the journal.  _Your_  journal. Then we will talk again." With a nod, she exited the room and closed the door behind her.

He lowered the fire iron, suddenly exhausted, and sat on the edge of the bed. His gaze lingered on the book, on his supposed diary. Curiosity got the better of him and with a thick swallow, he reached over and picked it up.

It looked to be a very new diary and recently placed on the dresser if the lack of dust on it was anything to go by. He ran his fingers over the intricate pattern on its cover, his gut twisting as he suddenly realised it was the tattoo design Rinna had wanted to get; had wanted him to give her. They had drawn it together, two weeks—two years ago, if this Bea woman was to be believed. No other eyes had seen the design. Not even Taliesen's. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and opened it to the first page.

_If you are reading this, my very handsome future self, then it means that, quite tragically, your –our –_ my _memories have indeed been lost. A fact which is most inconvenient. Ah, but you must be so confused right now. Although, that does rather depend on just how much of your memory is gone, does it not? And I have no way of knowing just how far back the amnesia goes. So I shall start at the beginning, to be safe. Alas, as much as I would enjoy writing a full biography, because we are so very awesome, I am short on time._

Zevran slammed the book shut, his hands shaking. The words, they sounded like him, that much he would admit. It was even in his own hand. But he could not believe them.  _Awesome_  was the last thing he felt right now. Comparing his current state of mind with this… this other him, it seemed an impossibility. He knew further reading might enlighten him as to what had happened, as to how he ended up so cheery, but he could not bring himself to care. Rinna was dead. He was nothing. And all he wanted was for it to end.

If he could not die throwing himself at the fabled Grey Wardens, then he would do so by some other means. There were, after all, numerous ways to take a life; that much he knew well.

He lifted the fire iron and held it over his left arm. It would not take much, he knew. One long cut down the length of his arm would do the trick. And he had more than enough time for it if that woman was to leave him long enough to read this diary. He took a steadying breath. He would see Rinna again soon. Perhaps in death he could earn her forgiveness. He would do that, even if it took an eternity to do so.

The door suddenly flew open, revealing a pretty, young woman. "Really? You're going to do it like  _that_?" she asked, lip twisting disappointedly. "Where's your flair for the dramatic, Zev?" He arched a brow at her, confused. She rolled her eyes then stepped closer, noticing the closed diary on the bed next to him. "Did you even bother to read more than the first page?"

He was about to answer, his ire rising, when, faster than he could react, she snatched the fire iron from his grasp and danced back away from him. Her long brown hair billowed around her with her quick movements and she grinned as he pushed to his feet.

"Hand that back."

She laughed, her green eyes shining in challenge. " _Make me,_ Crow."

His hands clenched at his sides. It was to be a game, then; yet more people making light of this situation. Perhaps they  _were_  Crows; they had already proven how little they cared, after all.

"Come on, Zev, you want to die – fight for it," she said with a playful smile.

"Why, so you can continue to mock me?"

"Is that what you think I'm doing,  _hermoso_?"

"Sì," he replied, scowling at her.

She grinned. "Come on, don't be  _boring_. Wouldn't you rather die duelling the world's best master thief? I know I'm not some legendary Warden, but isn't this a better way to die than cutting your wrist open,  _pajarito_?"

He scoffed at the nickname. "And if I win and kill you?" he asked.

"You won't," she laughed. Lightning fast, she landed a hit with the fire iron to his thigh. He hissed in pain and she giggled. "Come on, where is that Antivan pride?"

It was gone the day he allowed Rinna to die, he knew. Still, he did not take kindly to being mocked and laughed at. And he realised that dying could wait; fighting her, getting pay back for her taunting was more tempting right now, and, if it ended with his death, all the better. With a growl, he charged at her.

"Your innuendos have insulted enough people here; might want to put some trousers on!" she called out as she darted back out of the door and ran off.

He grabbed the loose pair of trousers hanging over the chair with an annoyed growl and shrugged them on as he began chasing after her. For a supposed master thief, she was not quiet on her feet, although that may have been purposeful on her part; she was mocking him yet again.

He chased her laughter through the stone corridors, down a set of spiral stairs and then outside into a courtyard. Nobody else was around, only the thief who was standing in the middle of the yard, grinning. She tossed the fire iron aside and started tying her long hair up in a messy ponytail.

"Are you ready to get your arse kicked, little Crow?"

He felt a feral sort of smirk curl his lips. "We'll see who kicks more ass,  _gattina_."

Her cat-like grin widened and she stalked over to the weapons wrack. "Two daggers." she said. "Poisoned, naturally." She tossed two at him which he caught nimbly, before she grabbed two herself. He admired the poison coating the blades, surprised she had given him weapons at all given how suicidal he was, let alone poisoned ones.

Before he could do any harm to himself, however, instinct took over as he brought those daggers up to parry her first attack. She was a vicious little thing, faster than most humans he had met. He only just managed to avoid her blades as she pressed him back toward the fencing. He felt slower than he ought to have been and he had to keep blinking away the pesky dizziness in his vision.

He leapt to the side, watching as her blades slammed down into the wood of the fence instead of into  _him_. He slashed at her, but she ducked under his first swipe, dislodged one of her daggers and then swiped it wildly at him. He only just managed to avoid it slicing open his gut, before she was on him again.

"Is that all you've got, Zevran?" she mocked. "I though the Antivan Crows were supposed to be  _good_  fighters."

At the mention of the Crows, he felt anger boil in his belly. Years of mistreatment from them bubbling to the surface. All the anger he felt toward them for what they did, for what they  _didn't_  do. He snarled and returned his own series of brutal attacks. He had more power behind each clash of their blades than she did, and he soon had her backing up across the courtyard.

"Aww, is the little elf angry?" she laughed. "You're cute when you're huffing and puffing."

He snarled again. "It is you that will be huffing and puffing when I bury this dagger in your chest,  _amica_."

The thief grinned. "You'll forgive me if I tell you I don't want your  _dagger_  inside me."

Their blades clashed again, ringing out across the silent yard, and he was forced back a step, his breath panting.

"Stamina not what it used to be?" she cooed. "I guess the last two years weren't very kind to you."

There was that mention of time passed again. He still could not believe such a thing to be true. It was too surreal. It was easier to believe this some hoax by the Crows than that. At the same time, however, he couldn't help but worry she spoke the truth. Something was wrong with him; why else was he slower and more exhausted than usual?

"I do not believe it," he said as he slammed his daggers into hers, gritting his teeth.

She rolled her eyes. "Bit silly, not believing in a  _fact_." With a flick of her wrist, one of his daggers went flying into the dirt. She blocked his way from retrieving it and he had to fend her off with just the one dagger as he lunged for the fire iron. She hadn't been expecting that, if the look on her face was anything to go by. He smirked and charged at her, letting his fury and grief fuel him.

"Rinna died two years ago, by your order," the thief taunted. "You moved on, forgot about her."

" _No_!"

His attacks had her backing up again. "Even Taliesen's dead. You killed him yourself."

"You lie," he hissed. His brutal swipes knocked both her blades clean out of her hands, then he sliced his dagger across her gut. She gasped and fell to her knees as clutching at the wound.

" _Zev_ ," she said, gasping.

His head  _hurt_ , so much as he backed up. He realised he was crying but he did not know why. He felt so utterly overwhelmed. He wanted it to end again, he just wanted it all to  _stop_.

He slashed his wrists and watched the blood flow out, hot and wet over his tanned skin. He sighed in relief and dropped to his knees. All the pain and misery would soon be over. And he'd see Rinna again. He closed his eyes and waited for death.

But the wounds felt…odd, almost itchy, and he opened his eyes to glance down at them with a frown, realising they were…closing up.  _Healing_.

" _Che cazzo_?" He brought the dagger across his wrist again, drawing yet more blood, only to watch it seal up immediately. The thief started to giggle where she was lying face down in the dirt. He had thought her dead, but her entire body was shaking with her laughter.

She lifted her head, grinning. "Okay, so, I lied," she said as she pushed into a sitting position with a slight grimace. "They're not coated with poison but a powerful healing agent."

"Brasca," he breathed out.

The thief checked her wound, lifting up her tunic to do so. Her wound was still open but it didn't appear to be bleeding any longer. She winced slightly as she put the tunic back down. "Rather mean of you to try to gut me me after I told you I didn't want your  _dagger_  inside of me, don't you think?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "I am certain worse things have been inside you, no?"

She chuckled. "No doubt." With a groan, the thief got to her feet. She held out her hand and Zev took it. She pulled him to his feet and he dusted himself off, his wrists fully healed now. She clutched at her stomach as she walked, nodding for him to follow. He did so. His anger was gone now. He still felt hollow, but it was clear death did not await him on this day.

"My name's Sofía, by the way. I'm a friend of Isabela's."

His ears flicked in surprise. "Truly?"

The thief nodded. "We go way back. You and I met a while ago-I helped you get a meeting with the Seers here in Rivain. They're the ones who put you through the Ritual that cost you your memories."

"Ritual?" he asked, scowling.

She sighed slightly. "A blood mage had gotten into your mind. She was able to control you, or something. The mages here got rid of her grip on you but they had never seen such powerful blood magic before, so they aren't certain it will keep you safe should you encounter the witch again." She opened a door for them and limped inside. "Your journal goes into more detail about it all. I strongly suggest reading it."

He shook his head, still struggling to believe it all.

"Just look at your body, when you get back to your room. There's a mirror on the wall. Your hair is longer, you have scars you didn't have two years ago; new tattoos, too. Time  _has_  passed."

Idly, he played with the braid his hair was in, realising that she was correct; it was nearly double the length he remembered it being.

"I promised you, before the Ritual, that I'd do whatever it took to help you recover," Sofía said.

"Ah, and trying to kill me was your best solution, I see," he said wryly.

She snickered. "You were upset and angry and barely wanted to talk about any of it, so yes."

"No doubt you did not expect me to win quite so thoroughly."

"I let you, Zev."

"Keep telling yourself such things if they help you sleep at night, mia amica."

"See? It worked, you're back to being insufferable."

He chuckled, head shaking. "Perhaps you do know me."

"Of course I do." She started to smirk. "And, honestly, it's a little insulting that you don't remember me at all."

"Mm, and surprising," he said as he let his eyes rake down her body.

She laughed. "Not for you; I'm taken."

"Ah, and not wanting to be stolen, I take it?"

"You wouldn't be able to, even if you wanted to," she said as she pulled her hair out of her messy ponytail.

He hummed, tiredness making him sluggish as they walked back up the steps. "This amnesia, will it last long? Is such a thing permanent?"

"They don't know. We're all hoping it's not, obviously." She stopped looking serious for the first time since he had…met her. "There's something you need to do – someone who needs you, Zev."

"Who?" he asked, frowning up at her.

"Read the journal," she said, just as he realised he was back outside his room. "I'll give you some privacy to do that, but please don't try to hurt yourself again, okay?" He nodded and she smiled softly, squeezed his shoulder, then walked away. With a sigh, he opened his door and headed in. The book was where he had left it on the bed. He picked it up, running his fingers over the pattern on the front again as he sat down, then opened the first page and carried on from where he had left off.

**…**

It was odd, reading an account of his life when he could not recall two years of it. But…he finally believed it. Believed that all that time had indeed passed him by. He had forgotten much; an entire Blight, in fact. Apparently, he had even been on the rooftop when the Archdemon was slain, and thus was considered one of the heroes of the Blight-an odd thought, but one that made him feel a little smug, he had to admit. To think, he had gone from wanting nothing but death after losing Rinna, to finding purpose and happiness again. And it was all thanks to this one person, Neri. Most of the journal was about her, in fact.

He had read through pages and pages of his adventures with her, and even more pages of detailed drawings of her- in armour, smirking over her shoulder at him, sleeping, grinning, and laughing—as well as other important people in this forgotten life of his. Neri was beautiful; there was no other word for her. And staring at those pages, he thought he might have felt a brief flicker of recognition there. He certainly had a vivid enough picture of her from the words and drawings alone. Her hair was apparently as vibrant as a cornfield, her eyes bright like autumn, her freckles only adding to her cheekiness.

Over and over again he had written about his feelings for her, how he had come to love her, cherish her, miss her. And there it had also begun to explain why he was not currently with her. An Antivan woman by the name of Carina had tried to kill Neri at the Royal Wedding—which Zevran had also attended because he was apparently friends with Ferelden's royal couple. That had been a bizarre revelation, indeed. This Carina had used an assassin Templar to do her work for her. Work that had  _very_  tragically failed. But the woman had tricked them all. In truth, she was a blood mage, a powerful one at that, who had come after Zev himself when his investigations into her had gotten too close to the truth.

From there things had only gotten worse, it seemed. She had controlled his mind, threatened him, forced him to leave Neri's side. And Neri herself had lost all memories of that encounter with the witch. He had no way of knowing how much she had figured out since that fateful night, if anything, and thus, she remained in grave danger from the witch. He did not know exactly what the witch wanted from her or indeed both her lovers; that was not something the old him had figured out. And without his memories, he was not likely to do much better now.

He trailed his fingers over a drawing of Neri once more, the smirking cheerful one of her. If…if he loved this woman as much as he had loved Rinna, then he knew that, memories or no, he had to save her. He could not let another that he loved die, not if there was something that could be done to prevent such a thing.

He closed the diary and pushed up from the bed. Sofía had popped in some time ago with food and drink for him, and he suspected, just to make sure he hadn't killed himself. She had told him where he could find her once he was done reading the journal. That was where he headed now. He needed to figure out how he could help Neri—he did not even know where she was currently, or what she was doing.

He ran a hand through his silvery hair; it was slightly wavy from the braid it had been stuck in for Maker only knew how long, and he shoved it away from his face. He rounded the corner and slammed straight into a young man. Wide, hazel eyes stared up at him and then a big smile bloomed across the boy's lips.

"They said you were awake!" the human said, brushing his shaggy black hair away from his eyes. Suddenly Zevran was being hugged and he froze in surprise. The boy pulled back a second later, clearing his throat. "Sorry, I know you don't like hugs."

"On the contrary, I like them very much…from my lovers. Are you such?"

The boy went bright red. "No!" he squeaked. "I'm Beltrán, do you…remember me?"

Zevran smiled a little awkwardly. "Alas, I do not. Although…" He pulled his journal out again. "The name does ring a bell," he said as he flicked through the pages. "Aha! Here we are. Beltrán: impatient, struggles to see the bigger picture. Good at killing, less so at the sneaking. Recently lost his virginity in a whore house. Ah, yes, that does sound like something I would encourage. Currently sleeping with Sofía. My, my," he hummed. "Nicely done."

The boy was blushing hard when Zevran glanced back at him, smirking. "What else have you written about me!?"

"Ah ah ahh," Zevran tsked, pulling the diary away from the boy's grabbing hands and closing it shut. "This is for my eyes only, my little apprentice."

The boy huffed. "I don't know whether to be pleased or annoyed that you said the same thing to me before and after the Ritual."

Zevran laughed. "Perhaps I should add a note in here about you being cheeky and persistent too, hmm?"

"Are you planning on losing your memories again?" Bel asked.

"Not if I can help it," Zev replied. "Now, enough chit-chat, take me to see your… _amante_."

Beltrán groaned, his dusky cheeks blushing prettily again. "I just got used to you  _not_  teasing me about that, now you're going to start up all over again," he sighed.

"Naturally; that's half the fun of losing your memories, sì? You get to repeat the same old jokes."

His apprentice rolled his eyes and Zevran followed him, smirking. He never thought he'd have his own apprentice; it was oddly satisfying knowing he had someone under his wing, so to speak. Especially a boy who had been a Crow too.

It was not much farther until Beltrán stopped outside a door and nodded his head. "She should be inside. I, uhh, just came from there."

" _Came_  did you?" Zevran asked, smirking yet again. The boy coughed loudly.

"I'll leave you to it," he said quickly before rushing off.

Zevran let out a light laugh then knocked on the door.

" _Entrar!"_

He pushed the door open and found Sofía tidying her messy hair. He gave her a knowing smile and closed the door behind him. "So," he said. "I read the whole thing."

"Good. Would have been a waste of the nights you spent writing that journal instead of sleeping if you didn't." She offered him a seat as she sat down on the other side of the desk herself. "I imagine you wish to discuss Neri first, sí?"

" _Certo_ ," Zevran said. "From what I can gather, she may be in danger. I need to warn her."

Sofía nodded. "Yes, before the Ritual you were adamant that you help her, memories or not, once you woke up."

"If I loved her half as much as I loved Rinna…" He swallowed. "Do you know where she is at this very moment?"

"Kirkwall, apparently. I have a contact there who confirms as much." Sofía tucked her hair behind her ears. "That same contact is also willing to act as a go-between for us. Passing on notes and other such things. You made it clear that such a messenger should be someone Neri does not currently know, just in case the blood mage had messed with anyone else close to her. She meets that criteria."

"And we can trust her?"

Sofía smiled sweetly. "She's an ex-Crow, just like you. So, probably."

Zevran snorted. "Very well. I will write a note to her."

"Best keep it short and sweet, at first. I know Bea was working on another means for you to communicate but it's not ready yet so notes will have to do, for now."

He nodded and began writing his message on the parchment she passed to him. It felt good to be doing this, having a purpose of saving another's life when he had spent so much of his life taking lives. The guilt and sadness from Rinna's death still clung to him like a shroud, but already this was helping to distract himself from that.

"They're hopeful that the memories Neri lost will come back to her at the mere mention of one powerful word. A trigger of sorts."

"Carina," he whispered. "Neri does not know she is the blood mage, that she is the one that took her memories. If I tell her that much…"

"Then just maybe it'll work to make her remember," Sofía nodded, smiling.

"Even if it doesn't, I can tell her all I know, and like me, she can get to work without such memories."

"That sounds like the most frustrating scenario ever concocted," Sofía muttered.

Zevran chuckled. "That does seem to be the way of things, yes."

Message complete, he handed it back to the thief. She rolled it up and smiled at him. "I'll make sure it gets to my contact safely."

"What, ah, what shall I do in the meantime?"

"I would train, if I were you. The Ritual left you weak, had you knocked out for days. And if this blood mage is truly as powerful as the Seers say she was…then you're going to want to be the strongest you've ever been."

He swallowed thickly, nodding.

"The mages will give you as much advice and protection as they can, but what you're facing…they're not even sure she  _is_  just a blood mage, Zev."

His face hardened with grim determination. "I will be ready for her, this time."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was horrible to write. I hope you all loved it. XD.
> 
> This, of course, is the start of Zev coming back into the story. Finally.
> 
> For those who hadn't read the prequels to this---or did but just forgot a load of stuff cause it's been literal months--- I hope it wasn't too confusing. If I need to explain anything more, feel free to   
>  leave a comment with your question(s) and I'll answer them as thoroughly as I can.
> 
> Will be back with Neri and co next time. 
> 
> Thank you for all the support and to my wonderful beta, Lys. 
> 
> <33


	38. Questions and Answers.

**Questions and Answers.**

Right. So, shoving Flemeth off of that cliff and then jumping onto the witch's back probably hadn't been Neri's brightest idea. That was becoming more and more apparent as she clung to her scaly back while Flemeth soared up and up and up and then nose-dived right back down. Neri couldn't even hear her own screams, they rushed passed her ears so quickly.

But as quickly as this impromptu trip had begun, it ended as Flemeth landed heavily on some other mountaintop. Neri slid off the dragon the second it started to glow a vibrant gold and shielded her eyes as the witch shifted back to human form.

When she pulled her hand away from her eyes, Flemeth was stalking toward her. Neri clenched her jaw and held her ground.

" _Never_  in all my years has someone  _pushed_  me off a mountain," the witch said. Neri braced herself for the anger, but Flemeth started laughing heartily instead, head thrown back and all. "When you're my age, girl, experiencing new  _firsts_  gets rarer and rarer!"

Neri blinked a bit and shifted on her feet. "Well…glad I could help you cross that off your bucket list." She let out a soft breath. "Always happy to help with near-death experiences."

Flemeth chuckled and eyed her curiously with those cat-like eyes of hers. "So many chances to kill me, and yet here I still stand...very much alive."

Neri scoffed. "Don't tempt me." She shook her head and sighed at the wtich. "Wouldn't do me any good to kill you before I get answers, anyway."

The witch's yellow eyes looked absolutely predatory as they stared down at Neri. "Ahh, answers, such tricky things. Always we search for them, never quite certain if the answer found is right or wrong."

"Yes, yes," Neri muttered with an eyeroll. "I know how fond you are of riddles. Cut the shit, lady."

Flemeth smiled a sharp little smile. "So impatient."

"I've waited long enough," Neri growled out.

Flemeth hummed. "And what would you have me tell you, I wonder?"

"The Dark Ritual, the one you sent Morrigan to tell me about and convince me to do. You knew, didn't you, that killing the Archdemon would leave me tainted?  _More_  tainted?"

The witch glanced at her, looking at least a little sympathetic. "Ah, child. It has left you much more than that."

Neri frowned. "What do you mean by that? And why didn't you  _tell_  me it would do that to me?"

"Would you still have done the Ritual if I had, or if my Morrigan had?"

Neri's ears flickered with her uncertainty. "Did she even know about that little side effect?"

Flemeth smiled a touch fondly, almost. "Morrigan thinks she knows a great many things but of that, I assure you, she knew nothing. Take that small comfort."

Neri exhaled roughly, perhaps with a little relief at that. "Why did I end up more tainted, why did the last slayer of the Archdemon, Garahel?"

Flemeth actually looked impressed for a fleeting second. "My, you have been digging up secrets buried deep." She paced around the rocky outcropping and came to a stop looking out over the view. Rain finally started to fall and Neri crinkled her nose. "To free the Old God's soul of what corrupted it, said corruption needed to pass to you, instead." Flemeth glanced at her. Neri was about to open her mouth to ask if she could be cured but Flemeth continued. "There is no known cure, Neria," Flemeth replied, apparently reading her mind. "Many have tried. In the end, even the strongest of your Order succumb to it. For that, I am truly sorry."

Neri exhaled, face streaked with rain. She glanced down, feeling droplets drip from her nose. "Garahel's Old God baby… she's bat-shit insane, right? Will that happen to Morrigan's kid?"

Flemeth walked toward her, somehow still looking immaculate despite the weather. She smiled a little wryly. "No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness, girl."

Neri rolled her eyes. "Can't you give a straight answer, for once?"

Flemeth chuckled. "And where would the fun in that be?"

"None of this is  _fun_ ," Neri growled out. "Is Garahel's Old God baby the same blood mage bitch that's been messing with me for a year now?"

"And why ask questions you know the answers to?"

"I don't  _know_ ," Neri bit out. "I heavily suspect, sure, but I don't  _know_."

"Follow your gut, girl."

Neri exhaled roughly and shoved a hand through her sopping wet hair, pushing her curls back from her face. "What does she want from me?"

"Ha! A great many things, I suspect. Alas, she is the only one who can answer such a question."

"You must have some idea? Can't you make an educated guess?"

Flemeth tilted her head. "What is it you would want if you were the only of your kind free?"

Neri frowned a bit, then her eyes widened. "She's going to try to free the other Old Gods?"

"Is she now? Perhaps you ought to stop that, Warden?" Flemeth laughed.

"I don't know how to stop that, how to stop her! How do I  _kill_  her?"

Flemeth chuckled softly. "I have said enough." The witch started to glow again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Neri screamed. "You can't just  _leave_! It's your fault she exists at all… you have to  _help_!"

"I have helped you more than enough, girl."

"How in the fuck have you!?"

Flemeth just chuckled as she shifted back to her enormous dragon form. Neri had to take a few steps back and shield her eyes from the transformation. She watched helplessly as the witch took to the sky, soaring upward into the dark clouds.

"You could have at least given me a lift back down the mountain!" Neri shouted at her, to no effect.

She kicked a rock and exhaled heavily. " _Fuck."_

It didn't feel like she had any more answers—just more fucking questions. Why did this bitch care about Neri and her loved ones at all? It didn't make any fucking sense. Especially if the bitch's intention was to free her brethren from their prisons.

She needed to be stopped, that was for sure—not just because Neri hated her guts, but because another Blight was the last thing anyone in Thedas needed. Neri needed more answers and if Flemeth wasn't going to give them, she'd need to ask the only people she had left to ask and  _forcing_  them to give her answers.

She sighed heavily and pulled her hood up and started walking.

Neri knew how easily she could drive herself mad worrying over all of this, so she forced herself to stop and think about something else. Like how torrential this downpour was. Storms always reminded her of her time in Ferelden during the Blight. There had been a storm almost as bad as this one just as they had left Orzammar. Oghren had already been freaking out about the sky and Neri had only made it worse by telling him the clouds and wind were plotting to carry him away. She smiled at the memory of Oghren running around their camp, waving his axe at the sky. That had also been the same night Neri and Zev had properly slept together for the first time. Her heart ached. She knew Zev had gotten caught up in the blood mage's schemes somehow, she could feel it in her gut. And the fact that she hadn't heard from him for so long now only made it that much worse.

She shook her head, trying to clear her dark thoughts. None of this could be sorted right now. She just needed to get back to the others, who were probably worried sick, and sort the rest out later.

…

Theo glanced at Fenris for the hundredth time. Still the elf hadn't said much since the mountaintop where a spirit had done  _something_  to him to make him cry out. What that something was, Theo couldn't even begin to imagine. It wasn't like the elf cried out at very much, not in pain or fear. But he had as they walked through that creepy and foggy graveyard on Sundermount. It wasn't like Theo could get him to talk though, not when Fenris was so adamantly staying silent on the topic. It was clear he had been unnerved by the experience however; he had this disturbed look in his eyes that constantly had Theo frowning with worry.

And Theo wasn't the only person worried, although Merrill was worried for entirely different reasons. She hadn't  _stopped_  freaking out about Neri and Flemeth since Neri had shoved the witch off the mountain. Theo couldn't blame her for worrying though; it  _had_  been insane. Merrill seemed to think Flemeth was going to come back and roast them all for disrespecting her. Not that Theo would mind a bit of fire right now with this freezing cold rain pelting down on them all.

"This demon you made a deal with," Anders was saying to Merrill, "you know it's going to try to possess you, right?"

"No, it was a very nice spirit," Merrill replied. "And it  _can't_  possess me, not while it's trapped in its prison."

Anders let out a derisive snort. "It will use you to get out of it!"

"Not if I don't let it, it won't."

"It's already got a foothold in your mind, it's only a matter of time before it's free entirely," Anders argued. "You can't be this foolish."

Fenris scoffed. "Of course she can."

"Ganging up on her isn't going to change anything," Bethany said, frowning at them.

"And she's not hurting anyone right now," Carver pointed out.

"Junior's right. Daisy doesn't look like a threat to me."

"Not yet," Fenris mumbled.

Theo could feel the tension in the air and it had nothing to do with the storm raging overhead. He sighed. "Do you mind me asking why you left your clan, Merrill?" Theo asked. "It's just, Kirkwall isn't exactly the nicest place for elves to live."

"Try one of the worst," Varric added.

"It was my decision. I had to leave," she said. "Staying with the clan…it wasn't an option anymore."

"Is that because of your blood magic?"

Theo could see Merrill frowning at Anders, but she was saved from answering by Bethany's shout.

"I see Neri!"

They all looked to where his sister was pointing and, sure enough, through the blur of pouring rain and in the brief seconds of light the lightning afforded them, he could see a tiny figure standing on the road ahead of them, a blue barrier shielding her from the elements.

Anders started running, and Merrill let out a huge sound of relief. "Oh, thank the Creators! If Asha'bellanar didn't kill her then maybe it's all alright. Unless  _she_  killed Asha'bellanar. Oh, she wouldn't do that, would she? I hope not, I'm not sure how I'd ever explain that to my—ah, I suppose they're not my clan anymore, are they?"

Theo patted the little Dalish elf's shoulder and smiled at her. "It's alright, Merrill. We'll be your new clan."

Merrill ducked her head, blushing. "That's very kind of you, thank you. I didn't know humans even had clans. Is it common to have a mix of races in them? Only yours has elves and dwarves…and lots of mages."

Theo smirked. "We're less of a clan and more a dysfunctional gang, Merrill. But you're with us now, we'll keep you safe."

"You'll be settled in no time," Bethany agreed, smiling. Theo hoped that was true. He knew he'd struggled to get used to city life upon coming to Kirkwall after living on a farm in a village for so long. It was a big change, getting used to the crowded streets, the toxic fumes and the lack of a proper garden. At least they had some chickens now, he supposed. It felt like they had a little slice of Ferelden with them.

Neri waved sheepishly at them as they reached her side. She looked like a drowned rat with her hair hanging limp over her face, dripping with rainwater. Anders was holding her hand and didn't look particularly impressed.

"Freckles, what the shit?" Varric exclaimed.

"Agreed," Anders said, scowling at her. "Of all the reckless, stupid, idiotic, dangerous-"

"I  _know_ , okay?" Neri said. "I  _may_  have been holding in more resentment and anger toward Flemeth than I realised."

"Never would have guessed it, Freckles."

Neri smiled a little. "She laughed. So it's fine."

"The Witch of the Wilds  _laughed_  at you pushing her off a cliff?" Theo asked incredulously.

"Yep."

Theo let out a breath of surprised laughter, head shaking. Flemeth had seemed to have a decent sense of humour on her when they'd met her back at the start of the Blight, still, he couldn't imagine many people being okay with being shoved off a cliff. Then again, most people couldn't fly.

"They're here now," Anders said. "What did you talk about, what did she say?"

Neri let out a big sigh, her shoulders slumping. "It was mostly confirming stuff I already suspected. The blood mage who has been messing with me is actually a witch with the soul of an Old God inside her."

"…How is that possible?" Theo asked. "Aren't Old Gods all Archdemons?"

"It's complicated," Neri said. "But yeah, this one was the Archdemon from the fourth Blight. Calls herself Andora now instead of Andoral – because of the gender change, I guess."

"How the shit did a dead Archdemon come back to life as a…witch?" Varric asked, brow heavily furrowed. "And what do they want with  _you_?"

"A magical Ritual thing," Neri said. "And…I don't know." She glanced up at the sky, shivering slightly. "But now is hardly the time to stand around chatting, right?"

Theo nodded a little reluctantly. He could tell he wasn't the only one who wanted more answers than that. "…Alright. We have been gone a long time, but I think we all deserve answers, once back?"

Neri nodded a bit. "I'll try to explain what I can, but I really don't know too much."

They started walking again with the shower still raining down on them. The winds weren't quite so bad on the lowlands, but the surrounding fields didn't offer much protection, either. He noticed Bethany breathing into her cupped hands, trying to warm them. And his brother looked miserable as he fought against the wind to keep his hood up. Merrill just looked in awe of the clouds over head and the forks of lighting arcing through the skies, not caring about the cold weather at all as she walked barefoot over the rocky, wet ground. Varric had his coat wrapped around Bianca as much as possible as he tried to shield her from the worst of the rain and Fenris didn't seem to give a shit that his hair was a dripping wet mess as he carried on walking silently forwards. Theo stuffed his numb hands back under his armpits, hoping they didn't run into any bandits while on the road.

"How much danger is she, to you, to us?" Anders asked Neri.

Neri shrugged a shoulder. "I intend to find out."

"You're not seriously planning on  _fighting_  her?"

"I don't have much of a choice, love."

"Of course you do!"

"We can talk about it later."

"In other words, you've already made your mind up," Anders muttered angrily.

"Anders…" Neri tried to reach for his hand but Anders pulled away and walked on ahead. Neri's shoulders slumped again. Theo couldn't blame Anders for being annoyed, but he also couldn't blame Neri for wanting to deal with this threat, one that had apparently been messing with her and those she cared about for a while now. Theo knew he'd do the same, risking his own neck to protect his loved ones. And he'd do it in a heartbeat, too. But he also knew how much that would upset and worry those that also cared about  _him_ , but it wasn't like being pestered by and Old God Witch was a very common occurrence in his life. He wasn't sure how he'd handle that one.

The walk the rest of the way back to the city was mostly quiet. Varric grumbled multiple times about the bad weather, the horrible terrain, his aching feet and legs… Merrill on the other hand had started asking them all sorts of adorable questions about the city, which, thankfully, Bethany answered instead of Neri. Theo didn't doubt the shit Neri would make up, if given the chance.

Theo was already planning all the things he needed to do once back in the city. He needed to pop his head in to his mother, make sure she was alright and let her know they were all back. He would need to send someone to check on Olivia, Thrask's daughter, and make sure Isabela hadn't ended up causing the girl to keel over out of embarrassment. Then there was his biggest priority: Fenris. After nearly losing him, he  _needed_  to make sure Fen knew the routes out of Hightown, hell, around the whole city. It was a lot of work, but Fenris was a quick study. Lastly, Merrill needed a place to stay. He wasn't sure who to delegate that to; Neri would certainly have the most sway with the Alienage elves, being an elf herself, and a hero. He just hoped she didn't end up corrupting Merrill too much.

…

Bethany had ended up going with Neri to help get Merrill a house, so Theo was at least a little less worried about the Dalish elf now. Anders had promised to go help Olivia, saying he should be able to sort out safe passage for her. Varric, naturally, had gone back to The Hanged Man where it was warm. Theo and Carver had returned home, with Fenris tagging along with them.

To absolutely nobody's surprise, mother had been thrilled at their return, running over to them all and hugging them—even Fenris had not escaped the group hug, much to the elf's apparent surprise and embarrassment. For once, however, mother hadn't been worried, merely glad to see them again, and Theo wondered if that was because she too felt like they were all a lot safer with Neri around. He felt a little guilty that they might all be putting so much pressure on the elf to keep them safe, but he also knew it was a well-placed expectation. She'd already gone out of her way to keep them safe, even prolonging her stay in Kirkwall by months just to make sure none of them got hurt in the Deep Roads.

Mother had put their armour by the fire, and Theo had given Fenris some of his clothes to wear. They'd left Carver to fill mother in on their adventures—Theo didn't fancy trying to hide the fact that he had torn a slaver apart or that Fenris had nearly died, and he especially didn't fancy telling her that he'd been carrying a witch around his neck all this time. They were in Hightown again now. It was still dark and stormy out so all the shops were closed because no Hightowner would risk ruining their hair or shoes in this weather, and although that would make learning the rooftop routes more dangerous, it would be good practice for Fenris seeing as slavers seemed to like night time ambushes.

"So, rooftop routes again?" Theo asked as they walked through the deserted market.

"Can we…not?"

Theo glanced at the elf, brow arched in question. "You don't want to go on the rooftops…?"

"No." Fenris was scowling and Theo tilted his head, trying to read his unreadable expression.

Theo rubbed the back of his neck. "We can go in the sewers if you prefer, or just…not tonight." Fenris stayed silent and Theo shifted on his feet. "I can just go home if that's what you-"

"I remembered something," Fenris suddenly blurted, cutting Theo off and making his eyes widen. "From my past."

"Holy-" Theo shook his head in disbelief. "What did you remember?"

"Danarius," he said, lip curling. "He was showing off in front of guests. Summoning demons." Fenris' fists clenched and the elf let out a rough exhale. "He needed more power, so he called a slave forward."

Theo's heart clenched in his chest. "Shit."

Fenris gave him a grim nod. "I think…I think that was the first time I saw someone used for blood sacrifice," he said, lip curling with repulsion.

"Maker, Fen." Theo shook his head, scowling—of all the shite things to remember. "And you…don't remember anything else, just that one memory?"

"Yes."

He swallowed a bit, fighting a strange urge to hug the elf. "When did this happen? You just randomly remembered it, or…?"

Fenris shifted on his feet, looking a bit uncomfortable. "In the graveyard. The spirit that touched me."

Theo's eyes widened, everything suddenly making much more sense now. "That's…How do you think that gave you back a memory?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, yeah." Theo rubbed at his neck a bit. "We could go back there, try to trigger more memories or-"

"What would be the point?" Fenris all but snarled. "I have enough memories of my life as a slave. I do not need more."

"But you could have family or-"

"They are not here now, otherwise I would have met them when with Danarius."

"That doesn't mean they're dead though, maybe only you got captured as a slave, maybe we could track them-"

" _Hawke_ ," Fenris said, voice rough.

Theo sighed heavily, shoulders slumping. "Sorry."

"You mentioned the rooftops?"

"Uhh, yeah." He cleared his throat a bit. "Would be good to do the routes at night, don't you think?"

"Very well."

They started walking again, in a slightly tense silence. Theo couldn't imagine  _not_  wanting memories back—memories of potential family members or old friends. There  _had_  to have been some good in Fen's life, unless he was born into slavery, Theo supposed. He sighed a bit. Maybe Fen was right and learning more of the abuses and horrors he'd seen or been part of wasn't going to do him much good.

"We aren't alone," Fen suddenly said, ears twitching as he locked onto something ahead of them. Theo spotted the flash of silver in the darkness beyond the market steps and groaned.

"It's one of those gangs." He drew his daggers and looked around just as several men ran out of the darkness toward them. "Up here," he said, dragging Fen toward the steps that led to the upper market. Fen nodded, drawing his sword, and Theo tossed down one of his oil jars, watching as the slippery liquid spilled down the steps.

"These guys are such dicks," Theo muttered, readying himself for the fight. Fenris just snorted, grip on his sword tightening.

Then the first of the gang members were on them, rushing up the steps, blades glinting wickedly in the moonlight. Theo snarled at them, willing them to come at them. The first slipped and crashed backwards down the steps, neck snapping. The next two moved a bit more cautiously and Theo tossed two of his knives at them, getting one in the neck and watching as blood spurted out, the second knife impaling the other's wrist, making him drop his dagger. Fenris finished that man off, chopping his head clean off.

More of the gang rushed them then, angry at the loss of their comrades, and Theo lit a match on the wall and tossed it on the oil, watching as it went up with a loud whoosh. Several of the men screamed, caught in the flames, and Fen cut them down with the wide reach of his greatsword.

"Come and fight us like men!" one of the gang members bellowed from the bottom of the steps, glaring up at them through the flames.

"I assume you mean fight with honour," Theo said down to them, "in which case, you're being dicks by fighting as a group when there's only two of us. So no offense, but I think we'll stay up here." He flicked another knife at them, watching with grim satisfaction as it got a man right in his eye.

The man that had shouted at them lost his patience and charged again with all of the men left alive. Theo gave Fen a nod and the elf lit up that fierce blue of his, lyrium near blindingly bright, and bolted down the steps—phasing straight through three people with expert skill, killing them instantly. Theo then threw down his ice jar, smirking as ice blasted out from that spot, coating the steps and making more of the men slip, and even embedding one with an ice shard. Theo dragged his dagger across one distracted man's throat and kicked another down the steps onto Fen's waiting blade.

With the gang trapped between him and Fenris, it wasn't long before they were all dead, their corpses littering the stairs. Theo wiped the blood from his daggers on their trousers then went about carefully collecting his throwing knives.

Fenris was staring at him and Theo arched a brow at him. "What?"

"That was…rather skilfully handled of you, Hawke."

Theo chuffed out a laugh and shoved Fenris' arm playfully. "I can fight well when I've got time to  _think_ , you ass." He smirked a bit, eyes dancing with something wicked. "Besides, I always feel better with you at my back."

Fenris snorted, head shaking. "A good thing I like being at your back, then."

Theo swallowed thickly, blushing a bit. "Very good." He smiled, gaze locked on the pavement a moment. "We're good together—at fighting together, I mean, don't you think?"

Fenris hummed, a slightly knowing smile at his lips. "I do."

"You know, I wouldn't mind having you at my back more often—these, uhh, gangs, are a real nuisance. We could fight them together?"

Fenris gave him a look. "You don't consider that me training you?"

Theo bit his lip and hummed. "I…don't. I don't think. It's us taking down asshole bandits and thugs so that the streets are a bit safer. If it makes me a better fighter…then great, but that's not why I'll be doing it. And it's not like I ever went around murdering people with Tanner, so that'll help stop me from over-thinking too, I hope."

Fenris nodded. "Mmh. Would be good to rush straight into some fights, get you better with sudden ambushes and the like. Would also help prepare us should more slavers ever come for me."

Theo groaned a bit, hands clenching at the mention of slavers. "Yeah, you're probably right. Just no…actual training, okay? I still…I still can't do that."

"Very well, Hawke."

He cleared his throat a bit. "For now…let's see how you do with the escape routes at night, hm?"

"Yes, let's."

… **.**

"I have friends at Ferelden's new mage school," Anders said to the mage at his side, giving her a soft smile as he did so. "You'll be safe there, and happy too, hopefully."

Olivia smiled back, head nodding. "I hope so too. I've certainly heard good things about it."

Anders hummed as he walked her down through Lowtown. "Hard not to when mages are finally in charge of things instead of the Templars."

"Not all Templars are bad," she pointed out. "Some  _do_  want what's best for us."

He fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Your own father didn't want to send you to the Gallows because he knew how horrible it was there, but even he, knowing that, doesn't or can't do much more than that. He's  _still_  a Templar. He hasn't quit."

"It's not so easy for Templars to quit, you know. That man, the ex-Templar who sent me to the Captain, was an addict. He might like mages, want to help them, but he still wanted back into the Order just to get a hold of some lyrium."

"I don't think Samson counts as a particularly good person. He  _did_  send you to slavers, after all."

Olivia visibly shivered. "I hadn't forgotten."

He winced. "Sorry."

She gave him a slight nod, eyes on the ground.

"The entrance is here. Might want to hold your nose…" He pushed the door open and led the way inside.

"Eugh." Olivia coughed a bit, her nose crinkling.

Anders smiled. "Told you."

It was a few minutes later before they were in Darktown proper, exiting the lift and heading through the makeshift market that always sprung up near Darktown's entrance.

"Bet you're glad you don't have to live down here," he said.

"I'm not sure what'd be worse, living here or in the Gallows," she mumbled.

Anders nodded a little gravely and headed straight for his clinic. He wasn't sure yet how he'd get a hold of the Mage Underground. He was hoping he could head to the room they often met in, leave some sort of note perhaps, not that he was sure how long such a thing would take to get read.

As he got nearer to his clinic, however, he heard shouting. Olivia and he shared a concerned glance before rushing ahead to see what the commotion was.

"Get those healing pots, now!" he could hear a familiar voice shouting.

As soon as he reached the doorway, he hissed in a breath. He could smell the blood already and his gaze landed on the grimacing and sweating form of Sparky, the Mage Underground's lightning mage.

"What happened?" Anders asked as he ran to his side.

El's relieved look was short lived as Sparky groaned in pain. "He was attacked by a blood mage on the Coast."

Anders inhaled sharply, rolled up his sleeves, and called his magic to his fingertips. He could see the wound on Sparky's abdomen. It looked like someone had slashed him across the gut with their bladed staff. Anders' face twisted. He hated it when mages attacked other mages—didn't they have enough people wanting them dead without turning on one another? His magic flared and he got to work healing the dark-skinned man writhing in pain on his medical table.

He wasn't sure how long he spent healing Sparky—gut wounds were notoriously dangerous and he'd spent a long time checking that nothing from his intestines had leaked into the surrounding area, for that was a sure way to get an infection and an early death. He wiped his brow as he pulled back, and Kit immediately appeared at his side with a lyrium potion and then health poultices and bandages to use on Sparky. Anders took the lyrium with a grateful nod then sat down in a chair while Kit finished up dressing Sparky's now mostly-healed wound.

"Thank you," El said genuinely, her features looking tired but much more relaxed now. "I don't know what we would have done without your help."

Anders smiled softly up at her. "You really don't have any other healers in your network?"

She shook her head. "Not ones we can readily reach. As I've said, healers are rare, unfortunately."

He nodded. "Well, I'm glad I could help." He tightened the tie in his hair and caught sight of Olivia standing awkwardly off to the side before looking back up at the older woman in front of him. "Actually, I was hoping to find you."

El's brows arched in surprise. "Oh?"

Anders nodded at Olivia. "She needs safe passage to Ferelden's school of magic. I was hoping you could arrange that?"

El looked at Olivia for a long few minutes before returning her gaze to Anders. "Her story?"

"Apostate," Anders replied. "Daughter of a Templar at the Gallows."

El hummed in interest. "Which Templar?"

"Thrask."

"Ah." She smiled. "He's always been rather…sympathetic to mages. This explains why."

"It does," Anders agreed. "So, can you help?"

"Of course," El said softly. "I'll have her out of the city by nightfall."

Anders sighed in relief. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure, lad." She glanced at Olivia again and smiled. "It would be good to have more contacts in that school, anyway."

"Still trying to work with them?" he asked.

"We are." She gave him a slight wry smile. "Your friend, Solona Amell, is understandably rather wary of it."

"She doesn't want to lose what they've got by working with apostates, I take it?"

"Mmh. Precisely." El waved her hand dismissively. "But enough of that, hm?"

He nodded his head. "The mage that attacked Sparky, who was it?"

El let out a heavy sigh and took a seat next to him. "An apostate, technically." Her brows furrowed a bit. "Have you heard the news about Starkhaven's Circle?" Anders shook his head. "It was burned to the ground this week."

" _What_?"

She looked down at her lap, expression unreadable. "There were rumours that the Circle was to be annulled—we had yet to confirm if this was true or not when the blaze was started, likely by one of the mages inside."

"Why was it going to be annulled, if it was?"

She gave him a sad look. "Because the mages wanted freedom, just like the mages of Ferelden have. They'd been acting out, rebelling more and more against their Templar jailors."

"Maker's breath."

"Mmh. As I said, we hadn't confirmed if the rumours were true or not," she said. "But we were planning to help them any way we could." She sighed a bit. "When the fire began and the mages were evacuated, we managed to free some, help them escape. There was one group who pled with us for assistance in getting out of the country." He watched as her brows furrowed and head shook. "There was something very… _off_  about this group. About two of the mages in particular. We refused to help them because our network has to be made up of mages we can  _trust_  and count on. As soon as it was clear we wouldn't help them, they saw us as the enemy, saw us as potential snitches."

"So they attacked you."

She nodded grimly. "The man, the leader of the group, slashed Sparky with his staff and started using blood magic. It was only thanks to Birdie's barriers that we got out of there at all."

"Where's Birdie now?" he asked as he glanced around, not seeing the little punky mage in his clinic.

"She went to tell the Templars where that dangerous group of apostates were hiding."

"Really?"

El nodded. "Mages like that, loose and scared, are a threat to everyone."

"Still…"

"I know it seems harsh, but as soon as they turned to blood magic, they were beyond our help." She put her hand on his knee and smiled. "But enough of that, hm?" she said as she pushed to her feet. "I'll make sure Olivia is properly looked after and I'll get Sparky out of here too."

"He'll need bed rest for a while…"

"I know, lad." She smiled. "Thank you again."

He got to his feet too and nodded. "Any time."

She'd just turned away to head to Sparky when she suddenly turned back around. "Oh, before I forget…" she said as she rummaged through her bag. "Karl wanted you and Neri to have this." She handed him a book and he took it carefully, running his fingers gently over the front cover, surprised Karl would have anything to give him.

"What is-?"

"Just read it," she said softly. "It's an inside look at the Gallows. One I'm sure you'll both appreciate."

He frowned. "Why would I appreciate seeing how horrendous it is in there?"

She chuckled. "It'll be…eye opening, at the very least."

"…Alright."

… **.**

"Nnff." Neri's hands trembled as they added yet another potted plant to the pile of shit she was carrying with her force magic. "Think you've got enough plants yet, Merrill?" Neri asked from behind the pyramid of stuff floating around and above her.

The little Dalish elf hummed as she tapped her chin. "Do you think we need more flowers? Is there too much green? I wouldn't want there to be too much green."

Bethany giggled. "Some of these will bloom into flowers later, right? I think there's enough."

Neri sighed in relief a bit. "Might want to focus on buying things like food and plates and mugs, you know, so you aren't eating with your hands, or something?"

"Oh! Yes, I forgot I'll need all of that too! I'm so used to everything just sort of being  _there_ …I didn't even check what the house came with!"

"It's alright, Merrill," Bethany said, putting a soothing hand on her shoulder. "I had a look around, so I know what we need." She glanced at Neri, smiling sympathetically. "Might be worth dropping all of this off first though?"

"We shouldn't drop any of it, that'd break the vases."

Neri chuckled a bit breathlessly. "It's a turn of phrase, Merrill. We'll take all of this back to your new home, then go out shopping again—maybe in like a little while though?"

Merrill gave her a worried look. "We can carry some of it-"

"I'm alright…just….let's get back to the Alienage sooner than later, hmh?"

Merrill gave her a few quick nods, her green eyes a bit bright and wide and then started heading in completely the wrong direction. Bethany laughed and dragged her back the right way and Neri followed behind them, focused on keeping the giant stack of mostly-plants from crashing to the ground. Thankfully, most people were wise enough to get the fuck out of their way, and soon they were back at the Alienage.

They'd managed to get Merrill a pretty decent place—a house right off the market that, admittedly, needed some work done to it but it was worth it for the safety that came with a place near the busiest part of the Alienage, rather than down some dank alley. There was also less chance of Merrill forgetting where it was when it was next to an herb store that had already had her babbling excitedly with the owner of said stall.

As soon as they got in through Merrill's front door, Neri very carefully put everything down, then collapsed into one of the few chairs the place came with. "Maker's arse, that was one helluva workout."

Bethany smiled down at her as she took stock of all the stuff they'd just bought. "You carried more than I thought you could."

Neri huffed out a breath. "Should have listened, I  _did_  say I could do it."

"I am terribly sorry for  _ever_  doubting you," Bethany said, holding back a giggle.

"As you should be," Neri said, grinning.

"Can I get you something?" Merrill asked. "To eat or drink?"

"Unless we're planning on eating plants and cute little halla carvings," Neri said. "I don't think you have much to offer us, Merrill."

"Oh. You're right, we didn't buy any food, did we?" The Dalish elf looked around, chewing at her lip.

"It's fine," Neri said, trying for a smile. "We can head to The Hanged Man, get something there and see the others."

"Good idea," Bethany said. "Think I'll pop home first to see mother then meet you there."

Neri nodded. "We'll walk you there," she said as she got back to her feet with a bit of a groan.

…

"Welcome to The Hanged Man!" Neri said with a bright grin on her face that only widened at seeing Merrill's expression drop. The little Dalish elf apparently wasn't a fan of the stench of vomit and piss or the drunkards hanging around outside wolf-whistling at every remotely attractive woman that walked past.

"It's very…"

"Smelly? Gross? Dirty?"

"I was going to say brown."

Neri laughed. "Yep. It is that." She shoved the door open. "Come on, I'll show you around inside."

"Alright, thank you—Oh!" Merrill's nose crinkled. "I stepped in something…sticky," she said as she lifted her foot to check it.

"Yeah…can't say I'd ever want to go barefoot around here." She nodded for the stairs. "Varric's suite is up there, that's usually where we hang out. Although it looks like he's not in, so I guess we'll sit down here." Neri pulled out a chair at a table in the corner and sat down, watching as Merrill did the same. "Would you like something to drink, Merrill?"

"Oh, you mean like alcohol?"

"Yes, alcohol."

"Isn't it a bit early?" Merrill asked as she put her sac of food they'd picked up in the market on their way here on the ground between her feet.

"It's never too early." Neri smiled and waved down Nora. "Two ales, please."

"'Course, love," the barmaid said before disappearing again.

Neri leant back in her seat and propped her legs up on the chair next to her, legs crossed over one another and let out a contented sigh. "So, what do you think of Kirkwall so far?"

"It's…very big."

"Mmh. Cities usually are." She smiled. "You've never been in one before, I take it?"

Merrill shook her head. "No. I've been in Ferelden and the Free Marches but my clan always made a point of staying away from human settlements."

"That makes sense." Their drinks arrived and Neri took a long sip. "I'll make sure you get given a proper tour, and it'll probably be worth you not going too far on your own for a while—don't want you getting lost or attacked." Merrill nodded a bit meekly and took a tentative sip of her drink, her nose crinkling from the bad taste. Neri chuckled. "You'll get used to most things tasting like shit, trust me."

Neri put her drink back down and scratched at her breastband, annoyed that it was getting itchy, only to find something that wasn't her tit stuffed in it. "The fuck…?" She pulled out a folded piece of paper with a scowl. "How did that get in there?"

"Oh! Did someone hide a note on you? What does it say!?"

Neri was still scowling as she unfolded it and her breath hitched as soon as she saw the handwriting within.

_Miss me, Cara mia?_

_Alas, I cannot say much, only that my mind was not my own._

_It is now._

_Burn this note and tell no-one we're communicating._

_I'll write to you again soon,_

_Z_

Neri stared at the note, her relief so strong she felt like she'd melt in her chair. Zev was alive. He was okay. He was writing to her again. Thank the bloody fuck for that. She had been worried that he had been under the influence of the blood mage, and it looked as if she had been right to worry. But whatever he had done to free himself, had clearly worked. And she'd hear from him again soon! She could barely contain her excitement as she scrunched up the note and glanced up at a very curious looking Merrill.

"Can you burn this for me?" Neri asked.

"Uhm…of course. What is it though? What did it say?"

Neri smirked. "I can't tell you."

"Oh, is it a secret note from a secret person?"

"It is." She handed it to Merrill and watched the little elf set it aflame. Watched as the edges crumpled, catching the flame and charring into black ash.

"I love secrets! Can't you tell me anything at all?"

"Mmh. It's from someone I haven't heard from for a very long time."

"Oooh. Someone you care about?"

"Something like that, yeah." Neri took another sip of her drink, and this time she was smiling as she did so.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever hear from an old friend of mine," Merrill said, suddenly looking nostalgic. "He disappeared before the Blight. We all tried looking for him, but we never found any sign of him."

Neri nodded sadly. "You were close with this friend of yours?"

Merrill bobbed her head. "He was one of the few people who actually liked me. And then he was just…gone."

"That's… sort of what it's like with me and the person who sent the note. It's not easy, is it, when you don't know if they're okay or where they are?"

"Not at all," she agreed. "Especially when you have to move on yourself, stop the search and leave without them."

"Maybe you'll see your friend again, Merrill."

"You think so?"

"I think, even if you don't, it's better to imagine they're out there safe, just not with you, than it is to think of other alternatives."

Merrill gave her a firm nod then took another sip of her drink.

"The others should be here soon; until then, we can just stay here. I don't know about you, but I'm knackered."

The Dalish elf gave her a guilty look, biting into her lip briefly. "Having you carry all those potted plants probably didn't help, did it?"

Neri let out a chirp of laughter. "Probably not, but I  _did_  offer, Merrill. So don't sweat it."

"Oh, I didn't sweat at all-"

Neri snorted.

"Did I miss something, again?"

Neri smiled. "It's a turn of phrase," she explained. "Know what? Let's go over a few common sayings while we wait."

Merrill nodded and Neri took a long draught of her drink. Despite Merrill proving an adorable and amusing distraction, Neri was already wondering when the next note would arrive, what it would say, when she'd get to  _see_  Zevran again. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, felt like her gut finally didn't have such a huge knot in it. He was alright. He was writing to her. He'd write again. She just had to wait patiently. Ugh. She hoped he remembered how impatient she was...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nf. Right. Posted, finally. Sorry about that. I still feel like it's a super disjointed chapter, but there was a lot to cover and I wanted it all in one, really, rather than cutting it in half.
> 
> Hope you liked it!
> 
> As always, thank you Elyssa for betaing. You rock.


	39. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is NSFW. Heh.

Zevran had lost count of just how many times he had read this journal of his. In fact, he had read it so often that he would occasionally mistake an image his mind had conjured from his words for a proper memory. Alas, he had no true memories of Neri, only a rough representation of what he believed she was like based on his writings and drawings. No such things could compare to the real thing, he knew, but he couldn't exactly go out and meet her, either, not with the Seers keeping him at their Circle to recover, despite him itching to be anywhere else by now.

He had always been an elf of action, of  _avventura_  and excitement. Staying here, meditating and sparring day in and day out was not his idea of fun, not at all. He had done enough damned training with the Crows and now he felt like he was repeating it all over again.

He flicked through the journal once more, letting it fall open on his most stared at page—a double spread's worth of drawings of Neri, his Neri. Sometimes his heart ached when he stared at those images too long—like it remembered his love for her even if his mind could not. Today was not such a day; today he simply felt frustrated that the progress he was making with recalling his lost memories was so slow. Two weeks of hard work focusing on getting his memories back had only enabled him to recover bits and pieces from the three days after the last memory he had awoken with after the ritual. Three days of memories recovered in two weeks. If he kept such a pace up, he might hope to remember the two years he had lost in approximately ten years' time.

With a heavy sigh, he closed the journal.

They'd be able to talk soon, at the very least, he hoped. His note had been sent, with the second soon to follow it. And then he would simply have to wait for her reply. It would be weird to see her hand writing for what would, to him, be the first time, in his current memoryless state. He wasn't sure how he expected her to react to his news. Would she be the sort to panic and freak out? The sort to get mad at the world? Or would she just be glad to hear from him? As he understood it, he had not spoken to her properly for some time prior to the ritual he'd undergone.

Ah, but none of this was helping him, was it? He needed to get back to his  _meditazione_ , see if he could not recover some more memories from his rather broken mind. He pushed up from the bed, checking his appearance in the mirror and quickly re-tying the long silver braid hanging over his left shoulder. Such long hair, he was half tempted to cut it all off as he was used to doing with the Crows. But he had written a note to himself in his journal that mentioned Neri liking something long to hold onto, and so he had continued to let it grow.

He headed down the cold stone hallways, boots silent as he made his way to the secluded spot in the garden he favoured for its peace and quiet, not that he found the Circle particularly loud compared to his sweet Antiva City, but he found it helped him focus if he had no distractions.

He took a seat in his usual spot inside a little gazebo surrounded by colourful little bushes of  _fiori_. He crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees, index and thumb pressed together, and closed his eyes. He focused on his slow breaths instead of the sound of the wind rusting the trees nearby, instead of the birds tweeting their songs, or the soft murmurs of talking mages. Once all of that had been tuned out, he forced himself to relive the memories he currently had—of Rinna dying, of him learning the truth, of the Crows not caring, of him taking the job in Ferelden, of him walking to the Docks that morning and boarding the ship with his few meagre belongings. Of Taliesen running up the dock just as the ship he was on had left it, of him shouting his name. He had managed to recall most of the first couple of days of his voyage, of the stormy seas and rough winds. Much of it he had spent drinking, trying to drown out the pain he had been feeling. His stomach always twisted at having to relive every emotion he had been feeling—how dead inside he had felt, and still felt despite the time that had passed. To him, it still felt so raw and recent. He still loved Rinna and missed her terribly.

His ears flickered at hearing someone walking nearby and a frown of concentration formed between his brows as he tried to get back to recovering his memories. He had been throwing up in a bucket, he recalled, alone and sick, a most pitiful sight, no doubt. But he had not cared at the time, no sooner had he finished vomiting had he picked up his next bottle of  _liquore_  and downed that.

More shuffling of feet had his frown deepening. It was unusual for anyone to bother him out here, and he opened his eyes. He scowled, not able to see anyone from his current, seated, position, and with a slight huff, he went back to focusing on his memories.

It had been a bottle of rather cheap Antivan brandy that he had swallowed down next. The ship had rocked violently and he had dropped the bottle, spilling most of it. And, as the storm raged outside his little cabin, he had wept and screamed, letting out all of his rage and sorrow. The next time he had awoken he had been—

Another sound, whispering this time, and Zevran huffed as he got to his feet. "Who goes there?" he called out, leaning over the edge of the gondola's wall to look beyond the flowers at whoever was disturbing him, only to find, yet again, nobody there. He tsked his tongue, already getting frustrated, and pulled back, ready to return to his meditation - only for a gong to sound loudly right next to his ear. He jumped, crying out and ears flicking right back at the loud noise, only to find Sofia standing next to him with a grin on her face. She moved like a cat, this one, looked like one too with those green eyes of hers and the predatory look they often carried.

He scowled at her. " _Che cazzo, bellissima_?"

" _Que_?" she asked innocently.

"You know what," he replied.

She gave him a cheeky look, her green eyes lit up playfully. "I thought you were a fan of banging, Zevran."

He huffed out a breath, making loose strands of his silvery hair flutter briefly. "You and I both know,  _cara mia_ , that I am fond of a rather different sort of  _banging_."

She laughed. "But this gong's made of gold; doesn't that interest you in the slightest?"

"Under normal circumstances, si, it would probably—" His mind ached painfully all of a sudden and he sucked in a shaky breath as a memory popped into his mind, clear as day. Sofia was already talking again and he lifted his hand to her face and squeezed her lips shut with his fingers. " _Silenzio_."

She mumbled something, frowning at him.

"I remembered something,  _bellissima_."

Her eyes widened and he found himself smiling at her. "It is fuzzy… but I can recall long blonde curls billowing in the wind atop a mountain. There was a gong, much like the one you hold only considerably larger. Neri hit it…and then there…" He scowled, face twisting as he tried to recall. "There…was a dragon?  _Mio Dio_ , is that  _possibile_?

He finally pulled his hand away from Sofia's mouth and she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. "I believe it is,  _asesino_. There are some around still."

Zevran nodded a little distractedly, a smile curling his lips. "I did not see her face, only her back and all her hair… but-"

Sofia put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing. "It's still progress, really good progress, Zev." The encouraging smile at her lips turned a little wicked as she smirked. "I guess I need to distract you more often, then."

He scoffed, head shaking. "Would you care to explain to me why you were trying to distract me in the first place,  _gattina_?"

She laughed lightly, dancing back away from him. "You're still too guarded—part of you always listening out for danger near you. You're allowing yourself to be distracted and aren't entirely focused on recalling your memories. I hope to change that."

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Ah, so does this mean I shall be seeing a lot more of you now?"

Sofia flashed him a grin. "Nah. I'm going to have every mage here come and pester you instead." She winked as she skipped down the steps. "Have fun concentrating!"

"Pah," he muttered as he sat back down again. It went against every instinct he had to ignore his surroundings, to focus solely on one thing and not anything else happening around him. But perhaps Sofia was right, perhaps not doing such a thing was slowing down the recovery of his memories.

…

It was some time later, after much failure to ignore marching bands, a mage fight, an actual fire, and someone screaming every five minutes, that Zevran had finally given up for the day and had sought out the company of his little  _apprendista_ , instead.

The boy had been going through some sort of a growth spurt lately and now had considerable height on Zevran himself, a fact which the boy happily boasted about.

"For the hundredth time,  _ragazzo_ , you are human and, thus, naturally taller than elves."

"Yeah, but now it's harder for you to ruffle my hair," Bel said smugly.

"Is that so?"

Beltran gave him a worried look. "Yes…"

Zevran smirked deviously and then promptly moved from the sofa where they sat to the arm rest at Beltran's right, and ruffled his hair.

" _Fanculo!_ "the boy cried out as he shuffled away.

"N'aw, look how cute you both are," Sofia suddenly said from the doorway, making Beltran's cheeks turn a bright shade of red as he quickly tidied his hair.

"It  _is_  a problem being this awesome," Zevran admitted.

"Is it?" she asked, brow arched.

He flashed her a grin. "Not really, no."

She laughed. "Well, be good you two, I am off to make certain I do not lose my reputation as the greatest thief in Rivain." She leaned down and kissed Beltran on the lips. "Stay safe,  _mi amor_."

"You too,  _bella mia_ ," Bel replied, hazel eyes bright as he smiled up at her.

Zevran watched the master thief leave before he slid off the armrest and down onto the sofa once more. "Tell me, my  _piccolo apprendista_ -"

"I am not  _little_  anymore. I never even  _was_  that little! And I swear, Zevran, if you're about to ask me about me and Sofia-"

Zevran laughed loudly. "Ah, such feistiness. Fear not, I was to ask nothing of the sort. In fact, I wished to know if the Crows had come after you at all. I understand they have tracked me on numerous occasions since my departure from their charming order, but there was no such information in my journal about any encounters you'd had with them."

"Mmhh. They haven't come after me…you sort of disrupted their ranks, killed a bunch of them, and just generally were a pain in their ass for a while there. And besides, if they did come after either of us now, we're surrounded by hundreds of mages. It would be pretty stupid to attack us here, right?"

"Si, it would, but the Crows are nothing if not determined, and they treat those within their ranks like canon fonder if the price is right, or if their pride has been insulted, no?"

"So, you don't think we're safe here?"

"Ah, I did not say that. To be quite honest with you, I am more worried about a certain blood mage who might happen to want me back under her thumb."

Beltran's shoulders slumped. "You really think she'd come after you?"

"That, I do not know. At a guess, I would think she is watching Neri closely instead of me…but who can know for sure, yes?"

Beltran nodded, growing quiet.

Zevran leant closer to him, shoulder nudging against the boy's. "Come now, there is no need for such melancholy." He smiled a bit. "I recalled something today."

The boy lifted his head, eyes brightening. "You did? Was it more of you throwing up in a bucket?"

Zevran chuckled heartily. "There was a little of that,  _si_ , but then your  _signora_  helped jog my memory of something else, too."

Bel twizzled where he was sitting to face him. "How did she jog your memory? And what did you remember?"

Zevran smiled warmly. "She hit a gong right next to my ear, nearly deafening me in the process," he explained, chuckling softly. "As for the memory… I am almost positive my Neri summoned a dragon atop a mountain…"

"A  _dragon_?"

"Si. I can vaguely recall its appearance although it is all rather fuzzy. Neri hit a gong, you see, which drew the dragon to our group."

" _Incredibile_!" the boy said, face alight with awe, before it turned cheeky. "So, does this mean we get to do random things to you in hopes it will jog your memory?"

Zevran sighed. "I…suppose in the interest of getting all of my memories back, I  _could_  allow such a thing. But some warning would be nice,  _apprendista_."

"Yeah, yeah… This is going to be fun!"

Zevran groaned, already dreading just what Beltran and others might do to him in the name of 'memory jogging'. Alas, he did not wish to stop them from trying, not when there was a chance he'd get to see more of Neri in his own mind.

* * *

 

"I'll start!" Neri called out happily. She fucking loved games of Truth or Dare. Loved it even more when everyone was just a  _little bit_  tipsy and in a good mood, which almost everyone at the table was because they were just damned glad to be back in the city. "Oh, and just so everyone knows. The forfeit is to strip naked and stand on the table twerking."

"That is a truly horrendous forfeit," Theo argued.

"That's why it's a  _forfeit_. Now, Theo," she said, grinning mischievously. "Truth or dare?"

He groaned. "How did I know you'd pick me?"

She laughed. "Because you're too much fun to mess with?"

He scrubbed at his face. "I don't trust you with either… but dare."

"Very brave," Anders said, smirking from Neri's side, and Neri grinned as she bobbed in her seat.

"Alright, I dare you to… give someone a hickey on their neck."

"Ugh." He glanced around the table. "Who  _doesn't_  mind having a hickey on their neck?"

"Attractive as you are, Hawke, I'd have an interesting time explaining to the merchant's guild where that came from… maybe leave me out of it," Varric said, copper eyes shining with amusement.

Theo chuckled. "That's fine by me." He looked around, noticing that Fenris didn't seem to mind.

"I think it goes without saying that I don't want one," Carver said.

"No, you wouldn't want to have to explain that one to Yasmin," Bethany pointed out with a snort that made Carver blush.

"Yeah, I have never, nor will I ever, want to suck either of your necks, so no worries there." He glanced at Fenris again, wondering if he could get away with doing it to him. He certainly  _wanted_  to. But it was probably better if he didn't outright pick Fen for it. Instead, he pushed his seat back and moved around to the other side of the table where Merrill, Neri, Anders and Bela were sitting. "Since you gave the dare," he said as he stood behind Neri, before he put a hand in her hair, fisting it and yanking her head to the side as he descended. He sealed his mouth over her thrumming pulse point, feeling its pace pick up with a satisfied smirk, and sucked down hard on that spot.

"Nnnhhh," Neri groaned, shuddering.

He pulled back a moment later, looking down at the quickly forming bruise with a smirk, before finding his seat again. "My turn." He turned his gaze on Anders. "Truth or dare?"

Anders grinned confidently. "Dare."

"Your funeral," Theo said teasingly. "I dare you to take someone's top off…with just your teeth."

Anders laughed then hopped out his seat. "Arms up, Varric."

"Nug-shit, Blondie, why me?"

"Why  _not_  you?" Bela asked, voice husky.

"Exactly," Anders said as he leant down and got his teeth on the bottom of Varric's red shirt and started to tug. With a huff, Varric lifted his arms, allowing Anders to easily pull it the rest of the way off. Neri and Bela immediately whistled at the heavily muscled and shirtless dwarf, making Varric roll his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, drink in the view while you can," Varric muttered, taking back his shirt from Anders. "It's cold, I'm putting it back on."

"Spoil sport," Bela pouted. "You could have asked one of  _us_  to warm you up."

"There  _are_  lots of mages here," Merrill said, nodding.

Bela sighed a bit. "Not quite what I meant, kitten."

"I missed something dirty again, didn't I?"

"I'll explain it later."

"My turn to ask," Anders said. "So, Varric, truth or dare?"

The dwarf sighed. "…Truth, but you can't ask about Bianca, it's the one story I won't tell."

Anders nodded and hummed. "Alright, what's the filthiest thing you've ever written?"

Varric grinned. "You should ask Rivaini that, seeing as we write it together."

Bela snickered. "That reminds me, we definitely need to add in a scene from that slaver cave."

"Mmh. What were you thinking?" Varric asked, gloved fingers tapping his chin. "All chained up, stuck in a cage with their mouth gagged?"

"Oooh. I like that," Isabela purred.

"What  _exactly_  do you two write together?" Theo asked, scowling.

"It's friendfiction," Bela said, smirking.

"Friend fiction?" Theo asked, brows pulling together. "Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not," Varric admitted. "You're the star of the show, Hawke."

"Maker's cramping calves. What exactly do you have me doing in it?"

"Ahhaha," the dwarf chuckled coyly. "A better question would be: who  _don't_  we have you doing in it."

Theo groaned loudly. "You're writing  _porn_  about me _?_ "

"We're writing  _erotic literature_  about a character  _based_  off of you," Varric corrected.

"We called him Randy," Bela added, helpfully, making Anders and Neri crack up.

Theo groaned again, letting his head hit the table.

"To answer your question, Blondie, I can show it to you later," Varric said with a wicked smirk.

"You better."

"Alright, Rivaini," Varric said, clapping his hands together. "Truth or dare?"

"As if you have to ask, Varric."

Varric grinned. "Flash the table."

"Just the table, or everyone around it?" she asked cheekily.

"Everyone, Rivaini."

Bela laughed lightly as she got up from the table and stood at the end of it. In one quick motion, she pulled up her dark brown tunic, flashing not just her tits but her underwear-less downstairs. Theo couldn't help but notice people blushing, Bethany, Carver, Fenris and himself included, while Neri, Anders and Varric just looked pleased, and Merrill impressed. With a smug smirk, Bela pulled her tunic back down and sauntered back to her seat, winking as she did so.

The pirate's gaze then turned to Fenris. "Truth or dare, sweet thing?"

The elf's eyes narrowed in challenge. "Dare."

Isabela's gaze lit up with mischief. "Mmh. Kiss Hawke's ass, literally, and on bare skin."

Fenris swallowed thickly, eye twitching just a little.

"Of course, you can always do the forfeit instead…"

Fenris looked directly at him. "Hawke, bend over."

Theo actually whimpered at that before he could clamp a hand over his mouth to stop himself. He cleared his throat roughly and slowly stood, showing Fenris his ass. He felt the elf's gauntlets scratch lightly at his skin as he moved his leather leggings out the way. And then soft, slightly damp lips were pressing against one of his cheeks, making him still, his breath hitching.

"Maker," he breathed out, shivering as the elf pulled away and put his trousers back in place. Theo felt warm all over as he sat back down and glanced at the blushing elf, smiling shyly himself.

"Pick someone to do, Fenris," Bela said, winking.

Fenris straightened, huffing a bit. "Carver. Truth or dare?"

Carver sighed roughly. "Oh, go on. Dare."

Something wicked flashed in Fenris' eyes and Theo knew even before the words were out his mouth what he'd ask Carver to do.

"Twerk for us again."

"For fuck sa-"

"Language, Carver," Bethany scolded, giggling.

Carver huffed and got to his feet, muttering a bunch of stuff that Theo couldn't hear. "Fine," he said grumpily as he started to twerk for them all. Theo couldn't help but snicker along with everyone else. There was something so perfectly hilarious about Carver shaking his butt like that for all of them. After a few cheers and wolf whistles, Carver finally gave them all the finger and sat back down.

"Merrill," Carver said. "Truth or dare?"

"Oooh. Dare, please," the little elf said excitedly.

"Mmh." Carver smirked at her. "Make out with someone on a body part of your choice. But not their lips."

Merrill grinned. "Okay!" She got up and moved around to Theo's side. "I've always wondered what beards felt like."

Theo looked up at her with wide eyes. He had not been expecting her to pick him  _or_  his facial hair. "Uhm."

She leaned in and….made out with his beard, just as she'd been asked to do. He couldn't help but laugh, mostly because it tickled, but also because it must have looked utterly absurd. She hummed, obviously intrigued and slid her tongue against some of his neck stubble, making him shiver down to his toes.

"It's so prickly!" she giggled as mouthed against his hairy jawline.

Theo laughed. "Yeah, hair does that, Merrill."

She finally pulled back, looking amused and took her seat again. "My turn to pick someone then?"

"That's right, kitten."

Merrill hummed, looking around the table and then smiled at Bethany. "Truth or dare?"

"Mh. Dare," Bethany replied.

"Okay… Take off all your clothes and replace them with…hm. Usually we used leaves…but you'll have to use stuff in this room instead."

Bethany stared at her before blushing a bright pink. "So I have to swap my robes for…whatever I can find?" Merrill nodded and Bethany groaned before glancing at Varric. "Please tell you me have some sort of big burlap sack I can use?"

Varric hummed, tapping his fingers on the table. "Could use my bedsheet, perhaps? Tie it into a sort of toga?"

"Oooh. I can help with that," Bela said, grinning and dragging Bethany to her feet and into Varric's bed chamber.

"Well, at least we don't have to  _watch_  her strip," Theo said, before lifting his glass and taking a long swig of his drink.

"Mmh. Thank the Maker for small mercies," Carver agreed, also downing more of his own drink.

Bethany returned a moment later, holding up the bedsheet as she walked so she didn't trip on it. Theo couldn't help but chuckled at the huffy look on her face at having to wear such a thing but he soon stopped his laughter when she glared at him.

"Right. Neri," Bethany said, "truth or dare?"

Neri grinned. "Dare."

Bethany gave her a devious look. "Drink a shot of booze out of someone's navel, someone who isn't Anders."

Neri's grin widened. "Only off one person? How tame." She glanced around the table and her ochre eyes landed on Varric. "C'mere you. Lie on the table so I can have a drink from you."

Varric groaned. "Oh sure, pick the guy with the shortest legs to climb onto the table, why don't you?"

Neri laughed. "Need Carver to lift you up, do you?"

"No," Varric was very quick to reply as he clambered up onto his chair, then the table. "Can't believe I'm doing this…"

"Shhh," Neri cooed as she stroked a hand over Varric's hair. She pushed him down properly, so he was flat on the table, then yanked open his shirt, making the buttons ping everywhere.

"Freckles! That was a good shirt!"

She snickered. "You look better with it undone anyway, Varric." She picked up a bottle of whiskey and smirked. "Now, lie still," she said as she began pouring it on his chest, down his sternum, over his abs, to his navel.

"Damnit, Freckles. It was only supposed to be my  _navel_ ," Varric grumbled.

Neri giggled. "I know." She placed the bottle down, then slowly, began licking her way over his chest, lapping up every drop of whiskey. Varric flinched, ticklish, when her tongue swept over his ribs, and then again when she licked just under his pecs.

Theo couldn't help but be a bit amazed at just how  _big_  Varric's muscles were. He always wore those dusters or coats, so Theo had never really gotten a good look at them, but now that he was, he was pretty sure Varric's biceps rivalled Carver's. And the low groans Varric was making as Neri licked and sucked at a nipple were making Theo squirm just a little bit in his seat. He couldn't help but wonder if Fenris would make similar noises if he- _No_. He was not going to start thinking about how hot Fen would look lying flat on the table instead, top ripped open and— _For Fuck's sake._ He grabbed his ale and tossed it back, hoping the liquid would help cool him down.

Neri finally reached Varric's navel after the dwarf swatted at her, and licked out all the whiskey. She pulled back, smirking and wiped her lips. "Yummy."

"I'll say," Isabela purred.

Neri turned her wicked gaze back to Theo and he swallowed. "Truth or dare, Teddybear?"

He huffed at her, but still didn't want to end up with a truth. "Dare," he sighed out.

"Mmhhh," she said, smiling cheekily. "Alright…Give Fenris a scalp massage for an entire round."

Theo swallowed thickly. "Maker," he breathed, probably sounding  _incredibly_  turned on. Mostly because he  _was_. He glanced at Fenris, finding the elf with his ears pinned back with surprise and yet more colour on his cheeks. "Uhh. Is that…okay, with you?"

"You both get the forfeit if it isn't," Neri said, smirking wickedly.

Fenris glared at Neri, then gave Theo a reluctant nod. Theo sucked in a deep breath, stood, and moved behind Fenris. "I won't hurt you," he whispered. "And I won't touch your ears, either." Fenris gave him a jerky nod in reply, his whole body looking stiff as Theo slowly moved his hands to his head and placed them on all that soft snowy hair. He let out a whimpered noise at just how soft it was before stifling it by biting down into his lip and focusing on the dare itself rather than who he was doing the dare with. Gently, he let his hands stroke over Fenris' shaggy hair, smoothing down any stray strands and then cautiously slid his fingers through those tresses to his scalp and started kneading very softly with the tips of his fingers. He heard Fenris let out a soft breath just as his shoulders started to relax and Theo allowed himself a small smile before he started to rub at his scalp with a little more pressure.

"Anders," Theo said, lifting his head to look at the blond mage, finding hooded amber eyes watching his actions in approval. "Truth or dare?"

"Mmhh. Dare me," Anders replied.

"Alright…I dare you to take your top off-"

Anders snorted. "Not much of a dare."

"Not finished," Theo retorted. "And let yourself be tied up and then tickle-tortured until you absolutely cannot take it anymore."

Anders groaned.

"Where's my feathered hat," Bela shouted out as she started rummaging through Varric's wardrobe. "Ah, found it!"

"Perfect. Get his shoes and socks off too," Neri said, grinning mischievously.

"Damnit, Neri," Anders muttered even as he did as he was told.

It was Isabela who tied Anders' arms to the chair he was sat on, and Varric who tied his legs to a second chair so his bare feet were hanging off of it, perfect for tickling. And then the girls all lunged at him at once—Neri tickling his tummy, Bela his ribs, and Bethany and Merrill each taking a foot to tickle with feathers. And Anders let out a laughed cry, whole body jerking upward where he was trapped in his seat.

"Nyyyhhoo! Ahhhahno!" Anders laughed out. "Please, ahhahnahh!"

Theo grinned, quite content just to watch the tickle-torture from where he stood behind Fen as he continued to massage the elf's scalp. He kept his movements predictable and even, starting at the top and working downward, then out, along the sides, up, to near to his ear, before reaching the front again and repeating. He could tell Fenris was relaxing, and only tensed up once or twice when Theo got near his ears before he trusted him not to accidentally brush them and relaxed fully. He couldn't help but notice Fenris had started leaning into his touch and that had Theo's stomach fluttering like mad. He wished he could see Fen's face right now because he was certain it would look damned sexy. Then again, Fenris always looked damned sexy.

Another scream from Anders drew his attention back to the mage opposite, just in time to watch him pivot sideways and crash to the ground on his side, still strapped to both chairs, the girls  _still_  tickling him.

"Alright," Theo said, laughing softly. "I think he's had enough."

"Spoil sport," Isabela pouted at him. She gave Anders' ribs one more tickle before untying him.

Finally free, Anders got back to his feet, panting hard. He pulled up his trousers, which had mysteriously fallen down a bit, and shoved his loosened hair back from his face. "Varric," he said breathlessly. "Truth or dare?"

Varric chuckled. "Gimme a dare, Blondie."

Anders nodded and sat back at the table. "Very well. I dare you to…" He smirked a bit. "Make out with Bianca."

"Ugh," Varric groaned. "I  _just_  waxed her down."

"Tough, it's that or the forfeit, dwarf."

Varric sighed heavily, picked up Bianca, and very slowly leant in to plant a kiss on her flight groove. "Happy, Blondie?"

Anders snorted. "As if. I said  _make out_  with her, Varric. I want to see some tongue action."

The dwarf groaned again, looked down at his crossbow and sighed. "Sorry, baby," he said as he leaned back in and started running his mouth and tongue all over her. Weird as it was, Theo couldn't help but stare, and be a little bit turned on by it.

He dragged his gaze away and focused back on Fenris, on slowly increasing his pressure and tempo until Fenris' neck was rolling with his movements and the elf was utterly limp in front of him. It made Theo feel ridiculously smug that he was able to get Fen to relax this much, especially in front of everyone else. He wasn't sure how long it would last, of course, until Fen snapped out of it and realised where he was. But for now, Theo would enjoy it, enjoy this temporary but intimate act, knowing he'd likely never get a chance to do this again with Fenris.

"Alright, Rivaini," Varric said, finally done with his task. "I'm daring you to drench yourself with your drink and to try to walk down through the Hanged Man to the bar to order another  _without_  letting anyone lay so much as a finger on you."

Bela laughed. "Have you seen how packed it is down there?"

Varric grinned. "'Course I have."

The pirate shook her head, grabbed her drink and dumped it down the front of her tunic. She shrugged a shoulder and disappeared down the steps, leaving everyone else to watch from the doorway. Theo let the others do that, not that he was allowed to stop massaging Fenris anyway. He decided to try something new and, very lightly, dragged his nails over Fenris' scalp. Fenris shivered beneath him and Theo could have sworn a soft noise left the elf's lips as well.

"Done!" Bela shouted as she returned. "That wasn't easy. Had to jump over a table at one point, but I did it."

"You were very impressive," Bethany said, smiling.

"Mmhh. Thank you, sweet thing," Isabela purred back. The pirate's gaze then landed on Fenris. "Truth or dare, handsome?"

Theo felt Fenris stiffen and watched as he lifted his head in challenge at the pirate. "Dare."

Isabela grinned. "Good. Feel Hawke up while he's still massaging you."

They both balked at that. Theo practically sputtering out his next sentence. "What sort of  _feeling up_?"

Bela cackled. "At the very least some groping. Might help if he turns his chair around to face you, mh?"

Theo bit into his lip, his breath suddenly getting rather ragged, and it ended up hitching in his throat as Fenris sighed and slowly turned his chair around. Their eyes met and Theo gulped. He kept his hands in all that soft hair, gently massaging, as Fen lifted his hands to Theo's hips and ran them slowly up his sides. He shivered, partly from the cold of steel brushing against his skin as his shirt got lifted up, but also because of how gentle and tentative Fenris' movements were. Those green eyes of his were watching his own hands and movements, the rest of his body held perfectly still. Fen paused a moment, unstrapped one gauntlet, and then slid that hand under his shirt to feel up his abs. Theo moaned at feeling Fenris'  _bare_  hand on his skin, at the calloused slender fingers gently moving over his abdominals. Somehow, he kept his own hands moving slowly over his scalp, massaging away even though his eyes were locked onto Fen's face, watching him through dark hooded eyes. He realised that his crotch was basically eye level with Fenris and found himself biting into his lip even harder and cursing the fact that he'd popped home to change into his leggings instead of staying in armour. If Fenris did notice anything though, he certainly didn't say anything, and instead moved his hands around to Theo's arse and groped that instead.

"Nnghhh," Theo groaned out, shuddering. Fenris glanced up at him, smirking just a little before groping him even harder and nearly making Theo's knees buckle. "Urrgh." His hands tightened a little in Fen's hair in response and that only made Fenris' hands—one still gauntleted—pinch his ass cheeks tighter. "Andraste's cock-stuffed arse," he moaned as his head fell back.

"Bloody hell," Isabela said, voice sounding just as hoarse as Theo's had. He looked over at her, remembering they were being watched and found just about everyone watching with dark gazes or flushed cheeks. He cleared his throat and looked back down at Fen.

"Your turn to pick someone."

Fenris cleared his throat a little roughly and nodded as he slowly turned his chair back around. "Carver?"

Theo's brother had his arms folded over his chest and looked terribly uncomfortable as he looked at Fenris. "Well I'm not gonna let you dare me to twerk again… So, truth."

Theo chuckled at that, as he plunged his hands back into Fen's hair to knead at his scalp.

"Very well," Fenris said. "Who at this table…do you find the most attractive?"

Carver blushed bright red and Theo grinned. Apparently Fenris had decided to make tonight about embarrassing the everloving fuck out of Carver, and Theo was enjoying every minute of it.

"Yes, Carver, who  _do_  you find most attractive?" Bethany pried, smiling wickedly. Based on the stares he'd seen his brother give Isabela, Theo would have said it would be the pirate out of this lot… then again, he'd  _also_  seen Carver blushing away at Merrill's compliments earlier on, so he wasn't certain.

"Ugh," Carver groused. "Probably….IsabelaorMerrill," he mumbled out all in one go.

"Oh!" Merrill squeaked. "Did you say my name? It sounded like you did, right after Isabela's name. Do you think she's more attractive? Is that why you said her name first? Or were you just doing it alphabetically?"

Isabela laughed and squeezed Merrill's shoulder. "I think he likes us  _both_ , kitten, adorable thing that he is."

Carver huffed. "Merrill, truth or dare?" Carver asked hastily.

"Oh, is it my go again? Can I have a dare, please?"

"Go…sit in someone's lap for a few goes, or something."

"Alright!" the elf chirped. She hopped up from her seat and then promptly sat down in Carver's lap. He squeaked. "So, what is it you like about Isabela and me? Is it her breasts? They are rather lovely, aren't they? I wish mine were that big instead of so very flat."

"Oh, Merrill. You have lovely breasts!"

"I do?"

"Of course you do! Men love all breasts, and so do I," Bela replied. "Plus, you're an elf, which means you're usually  _extra_  sensitive."

"Urrgh," Carver said, practically face-palming.

Theo and Bethany both cracked up quietly, thoroughly amused.

"Merrill, it's your turn to ask someone," Carver huffed out.

"Oh, you're right, it is." The little elf said. She turned her gaze to Bethany and smiled. "Truth or dare?"

Bethany stopped giggling to look at Merrill, wiping her eyes briefly of tears. "Uhm. Dare."

"Alright… I dare you to put ice cubes down your robes—er, bedsheets."

" _What_?" Bethany said half with amusement and half with sheer horror.

"I said, I dare you to put ice cubes down your bedsheet," Merrill repeated innocently.

Bethany groaned then glanced at Fenris. "I need to cast magic a second, is that okay?"

Fenris gave her a nod, and to Theo's surprise, didn't tense at all. Bethany cast a quick spell, making three cubes of ice form in her palm. And then, wincing heavily, eyes squeezed shut, she dumped them down her the loosely tied sheets and immediately squealed. She jumped around, hands waving about as she made all manner of high pitched noise, teeth chattering. "C-c-coooold!"

"Don't worry, Bethy, I'm sure we can warm you back up again, somehow," Neri said, snickering.

"Mmhh. I like the sound of that," Bela agreed.

"Nobody's  _warming up_  my sister," Theo growled out protectively.

"I can do it myself," Bethany said as she let a bit more magic flow through her hands, heat, this time, and used that all over her body. She sat down with a happy sigh, slumping in her seat. "Okay…Neri. Is there any point me asking truth or dare?"

"Nope. Dare, please."

Bethany chuffed a laugh. "Alrighty then. I dare you to…use your force magic trick on someone who isn't me and hasn't experienced it before."

"Awhh, no fun," Neri grinned. "Mmhh. Varric?"

"Ohh, no. Dwarves are very resistant to magic, no point in even trying it on me, Freckles."

"Pffft. Challenge accepted."

"Neri, not with Fen here," Theo said. "You'd need too much to affect him and the stronger your magic…"

Neri sighed. "Fine, fine." Theo watched as her gaze slowly found his, and a wicked smirk spread across her lips.

"Neri-" But it was too late. She held out her hand, and that was that. Theo's prostate suddenly got bombarded with vibrating waves of magic and he cried out, collapsing onto Fenris as his legs gave out.

"Nnnrrrrruugghhhhmmmhhnnn," he groaned brokenly, clinging to Fenris as her magic continued to roll over him. "Neri, fuckknnhhh!"

He could hear her giggling, and then, no sooner than the onslaught had started, it stopped. He heaved in a huge relieved breath. If he'd been worried before about his arousal showing…he no longer needed to be. Although he hoped the damp patch wouldn't show through his dark leathers.

Slowly, he righted himself and collapsed into his chair, breathing still hard.

"All done," Neri said. "As are you." Even without looking at her, Theo knew she was smirking wickedly and knew exactly what had just happened. He just groaned and planted his head on the table. "My turn to dare you now, Theo," Neri said, making Theo groan yet again.

"Maker's breath," he groaned as he lifted his head. "…Dare."

Neri grinned. "Suck on Fenris' ear."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding-"

"Remember the forfeit, Hawke," Varric said, chuckling.

"Mmrgh," he growled. "Fine." He looked at Fenris. "Sorry about this." Fenris had frozen up again but he didn't flee or stop him as he leant in and gently put a hand back in his hair, rubbing the back of his head, or as he sealed his lips around the point of Fen's ear and sucked.

Fenris found his breath hitching in his throat at the heat of Hawke's mouth on such a recently discovered sensitive spot. Just like the last time Hawke had touched his ear, Fenris found his nether region reacting. He swallowed thickly, ignoring such stirrings as best he could. Admittedly, that was hard to do with Hawke's hand in his hair expertly massaging his scalp and the other now cupping his jaw, thumb rubbing his cheek. He closed his eyes, and focused on his breathing, knowing this would be over soon. But there was that part there again, wanting more, wanting it to last longer, all for fear this would be all he'd ever get. He had no intention of letting such dark thoughts cloud his mind. He'd had enough of those lately. However there was little else but the mouth slowly pulling his ear deeper that he could focus on. He shivered as Hawke's tongue swirled around his inner ear, his groin twitching with interest where it already pressed tight against his leathers. He had no wish to see such arousal furthered or…completed, as Hawke's had been, and cleared his throat, hoping that would remind the rogue he'd finished his dare well enough. It did.

Hawke pulled back, amber eyes replaced by molten pools of burnished amber instead. Fenris watched the bob of his throat as he swallowed and felt his own do the same. He wondered if his own eyes looked as dark as Hawke's did in that moment and immediately dropped his gaze, not wishing the extent of his own arousal to be known so easily. He could see Hawke running a hand through his hair out of the corner of his eye and, thankfully, the rogue soon turned back to look at the rest of the table.

"Okay…Anders, you're picking dare," Theo said. Everyone had used their dares with him and Fenris to further the sexual tension between them so it was about damn time Theo made everyone  _else_  just as aroused as he was.

Anders smirked. "Would have picked it anyway."

"Good. I'm daring you to stroke yourself right to the edge…and then stop before you finish."

"Well, that's not very nice," Anders groused.

"Tough."

Anders laughed, shook his head, and stuffed his hand down his pants. Theo could tell he was already hard just from the groan that escaped his lips as his hand closed around his cock. He felt his own stirring yet again, just as it had done when he sucked on Fenris' ear, and he forced himself to look away, and downed his drink instead, before pouring out another. Neri and Bela were watching raptly as Anders touched himself, not at all surprising; more surprising were the shy looks Bethany kept giving Anders and the rosy pink her cheeks had turned. Fenris was ignoring the goings on, naturally, and taking slow sips from his wine. Carver was distracted by the very distractible Merrill who was bouncing in his lap and yammering on about how hard his legs were. And Varric was painstakingly cleaning Bianca after her recent make-out session.

Thankfully, it wasn't too much later before Anders was whimpering, close to the edge and dragged his hand away with an almost pained groan of frustration. "Andraste's knicker-weasels," he hissed out, hands clenched on the table. "Varric," Anders started to say.

"Oh, no you don't. I'm done, Blondie." Anders shot him a glare. "Ah. Poor choice of words," the dwarf chuckled. "Really though. I'm out."

"Fine," Anders said through slightly grit teeth. "Bela. Truth or dare?"

"Dare, of course," she said, voice a little husky.

He gave her a wicked look. "Ride someone's face until you cum."

Isabela grinned. "Neri, on your back."

Neri laughed but did as she was told as she crawled onto the table and flomped down on her back. "Come on then," Neri prompted.

Isabela wasted no time in climbing onto her face, and planting herself right down on Neri's mouth, her hands automatically fisting in all that curly golden hair. Neri's hands came up and held Bela's hips, just as they started to rock and roll against Neri's face. Both women moaned loudly and Theo bit into his lip, getting turned on all over again. Carver was watching with wide eyes and bright red cheeks. Merrill too was watching with curiosity and a little awe. And once again, Bethany kept looking away and then sneaking peaks which had her blushing even more.

Thankfully for them all, Bela didn't last long. Theo hissed in a breath as her body buckled and she came screaming, head and all her golden-brown hair thrown back. He shifted in his seat, trying and failing, to get comfortable, and instead focused on downing more drink.

"Mmhh," Bela hummed, slightly breathless as she hopped off of Neri's face, eyes dark and hooded.

Neri licked her lips, grinning, and wiped the rest of her face. "You're welcome," she said, throwing a wink at the pirate.

Bela laughed softly and flopped down in her chair again. With a big exhale, her gaze landed on Fenris' and turned decidedly wicked. Oh, right, it was Fenris' turn again, Theo suddenly remembered. He braced himself, knowing she'd no doubt include himself in Fenris' dare.

"What'll it be, sweet thing?"

"Dare," Fenris said in challenge. Theo knew he was competitive, but Theo had to admit, a truth wouldn't hurt right about now; at the very least it would give him some time to cool off.

"Good answer," Bela purred, smirking. She hummed, thinking, honey-brown eyes shining with mischief. "Alright. Spank someone, with your gauntlets on."

Theo bit his lip, cock twitching just at the idea of Fenris doing that to someone.

" _Spank_?" Fenris asked, one delicious eyebrow arching incredulously.

"You heard," she said, amused. "Spank someone's bare arse,  _hard_."

"And by someone, I take it you mean Hawke."

Bela grinned. "I named no names, you can spank whoever you feel like, sexy."

Theo was pretty sure he heard Fenris growl under his breath before those moss-green eyes turned to him. "Are you opposed to a hard spanking, Hawke?"

Theo whimpered.

"That's a no," Neri snorted.

"Mmmhhhnnn?" Theo moaned out, unable to form a sentence or speak words, his mind bombarded with images of the steel of Fen's gauntlets biting into his ass, of the hard whacks the deceptively strong biceps could hand out.

"Put him over your knees," Bela suggested, "it's easier that way."

Theo gulped, and he dreaded to think how dark his eyes looked right now. Fenris sighed out through his nose, pushed his chair back, then patted his knees.

Theo let out another soft noise before obediently moving and lying down across his legs, breath turning ragged as he did so. His thighs were hot and  _hard_. Theo wasn't sure he'd ever felt that much muscle in a pair of thighs before. He bit his lip and gripped the underside of Fenris' chair, waiting for the first hit. There was no doubt in his mind that this was going to be both brutal and erotic and he braced himself, tensing a bit.

A surprisingly gentle hand tugged down his leathers, baring his arse for all to see. Although Theo couldn't see everyone, he could hear various wolf whistles and catcalls from his many companions.

"Yeah, yeah, it's my arse. Go-"

Then the first hit came.

" _Fuuuuckhhhnngh_!" he half cried, half groaned out as his body jerked forward from the hard slap Fenris' gauntleted hand had just landed on his arse. He could feel that spot throbbing from the sting of it and he moaned shamelessly.

"Someone likes pain," Bela laughed.

"Fuck y-uuugkkk." The second slap hit a different cheek, at least, but Theo was pretty sure it was a harder hit, and with more of the metal of the gauntlet. "Bloodyfuck," he panted. He could feel his body trembling, half desperate for more, half squirming to escape. He was sure Fenris could feel his growing arousal too, right against those hard thighs of his. Rocking into his legs with each hit…

" _Ffffnnhh_!" he cried as the third slap hit the same spot the first one had landed on. "Maker's crunchy cock curls."

"Eeugh,  _Theo_ ," Bethany groaned from somewhere nearby.

He didn't have anything to respond with other than another groaned cry as Fenris hit the same spot three times in quick succession. "Guuuuhh.. Fuck," he moaned out, arse stinging like a bitch.

"Always knew he'd take a lot," Anders commented, voice tinged with humour.

"Are we done now-ahhhnngrrh!" He shuddered, hard, sucking in a much needed deep breath through his teeth. He was sure his arse was as red as his face was by this point.

"One more," Bela said. "Really put some muscle into it."

Fenris growled.

"He already is!" Theo yelped desperately.

Then the hardest and hopefully final hit came and Theo cried out, back arching and cock kicking hard in his leathers.

"Ooohh. Pretty," Bela cooed.

"All done, Hawke," Fenris said, voice soft as he pulled Theo's leathers gently back over his tender arse.

"Ggghhnnmhhhn."

He slowly pulled back, off of his lap, and very carefully sat down, wincing slightly and immediately adjusted his very tight leathers. "Fucking'ell," he breathed out while raking a hand back through his hair, pushing the brown waves away from his sweaty face.

"You're welcome," Bela said with a wink thrown his way.

He didn't even have the energy to glare at her.

"Mh," Fenris murmured. "Carver, truth or dare?"

"Uhh. Dare, go on."

"Grope everyone at the table, breasts or buttocks."

"What, even my sister?"

"I said everyone, did I not?"

"Ughh." Carver started with Merrill, seeing as she was still in his lap, hands coming up and giving her breasts a quick squeeze that had Merrill giggling. She hopped up, allowing Carver to get up next, and he quickly moved to Isabela, giving her breasts a solid groping, much to the pirate's smirking amusement. Anders and Neri both provided their arses for him to squeeze next, and then Carver was onto Bethany who had folded her arms over her chest, unimpressed, her butt firmly in her seat. "Come on, I have to grope something." Bethany's nose crinkled but she reluctantly stood and turned a bit. Carver gave her arse what must have been the lightest and quickest squeeze ever, before moving onto Varric and groping his marvellous pecs.

Theo looked up at him when he came to his side. "Please, don't touch my arse."

"Wasn't planning on it," Carver muttered as he gave Theo's pecs a quick grab, then did the same to Fenris. "There. Done." He plonked himself back in his seat, sighing a bit, then looked at Merril. "Truth or-"

"Dare, please, Carver."

"…Alright. I dare you to swap clothes with someone."

Merrill's forest green eyes lit up at that. "Can they be your clothes?"

"What? No," Carver said, scowling.

"Oh. Why not?" Merrill asked innocently. "You're someone, aren't you?"

"I didn't mean  _me_  though."

"Well, who did you mean?"

"I don't know. Someone. Just not me."

"She's picked," Bela said, snickering a bit. "Swap clothes or you'll both have to do the forfeit."

Theo didn't hear the curse Carver muttered under his breath, but Bethany obviously did.

"Swear jar," she said, hiding a smile.

"Sod off," Carver grumped. "And I'm not swapping bloody underwear."

"Oh, it's bloody? Did you hurt yourself down there?" Merrill asked as she slipped of her green robes.

"No, it's not—it's a swear word."

Merrill giggled a bit. "I know, you're just fun to wind up."

"Isn't he just?" Bethany said a little wickedly.

Carver huffed. "How am I even supposed to  _fit_  in this?" he asked as Merrill handed over her robes, leaving her in just her smallclothes.

"You could wear it as a scarf, scarves are always nice," the Dalish elf suggested, barely holding back a laugh.

"Great. That's just great, Merrill," he muttered.

In the end, Carver ended up with her robes draped around his shoulders, like a shawl, with her leggings on half of his legs. And she was practically drowning in his tunic, so much so it kept falling off her shoulders, and the leggings she had from him were hoiked all the way up to just under her armpits, making for quite the amusing sight.

"Bethany," Merrill chirped. "Truth or dare?"

"Oh, dare then."

Merrill smiled. "Hm... Lick someone's face."

Bethany let out a breath of laughter. "Okay…" Without hesitation, Bethany got up and walked to Varric's side. She smiled down at him. "I'm going to lick your face now, Varric."

"Sunshine, I'm honoured," Varric said, warmth tinging his voice.

Her smile brightened and she leant down, cupping his jaw and back of his head with her hands before she ran her tongue up the side of his face, from jawline to temple. She gave him a cheeky kiss on his cheek before pulling away and sitting in her seat again. Then her reddish brown eyes settled on Neri.

"Your turn."

"Dare me."

Bethany nodded. "Okay… seeing as it's all getting a bit…raunchier, I dare you to get someone off, with your fingers or hand."

Neri smirked, glancing at Anders briefly. "Did that sound like an invite to you?"

Anders gave her a wicked look back. "No doubt about it."

Neri's ochre eyes flashed playfully as she glanced back at Beth. "I pick you, then."

Bethany's eyes widened and her cheeks flamed. "I've never-"

"I'll be gentle, don't you worry." Neri stood, grabbed Bethany's hand and dragged her toward Varric's bedroom. "Borrowing your bed, Tethras!"

"Won't hear me complain, Freckles."

"Well," Theo said, "Sounds like this is a good time for us to call in another round…maybe get a musician up in here so we don't hear anything…"

"I'm going with you to the bar," Carver said, standing abruptly upon hearing the first of Bethany's moans. Theo groaned and left with him, waddling a little awkwardly from the tightness of his leathers still.

…

By the time Carver and Theo returned to Varric's suite, a very red and slightly breathless Bethany was back at the table with a very smug and wicked looking Neri. Theo took a seat next to Fenris again and it was only as that wicked gaze turned to him that he realised it was Neri's go to pick someone.

"Ughh. Dare," he muttered, bracing himself for whatever ridiculous thing she'd give him to do.

Neri grinned. "Good. Make out with Fenris."

Theo's breath hitched.

"Neri…"

" _Forfeit_."

He groaned and glanced at Fenris. "You're… alright with this?"

Fenris gave him a small nod. "I am, Hawke."

Theo nodded, exhaled slowly, then hopped up onto the table in front of Fenris and dragged Fen's chair forward with his feet so the warrior was sitting between his legs. He swallowed thickly as he lifted a hand to cup Fenris' chin and tilt his head upward, finding slightly dark eyes watching him. He smiled softly, then leant in and sealed their lips together.

"Mmnnhhh," he couldn't help but whimper as Fenris' hot lips caressed his own. His eyes rolled back in his head, despite being closed, and he found his hand slipping upwards, wanting to be buried in that soft white hair once more.

This kiss was gentler than he thought it would be, what with how utterly desperate for Fenris he was…but he found himself wanting to treasure this moment, this kiss,  _him_. It could be their first and last kiss, after all. And Fenris seemed just as content with the slow, soft, almost hesitant kiss as he was, his lips mirroring Theo's movements, and his hands resting with barely-there touches on his knees.

In that moment, nobody else mattered, nothing else did. There was just him and Fenris and the amazing kiss.

Theo let his fingers curl around a few strands of impossibly soft hair and gently tug Fenris' head back further. The hummed sound that pulled from Fenris' mouth sent a shiver right down Theo's spine and he inhaled sharply through his nose before dipping his tongue in once, unable to resist having a taste of this gorgeous man. He moaned at tasting the wine Fenris had been drinking all night, so rich and strong, much like the elf he was embraced with.

It was the moment Fenris' hands slid up the tops of his thighs, his mouth opening just a little wider in invitation that Theo lost what little self-control he had left. He slipped his tongue in properly, immediately tangling it with Fen's and let out a shameless moan along with it.

That seemed to spark something in Fenris, also, and Theo could feel the groans vibrate through his chest as they kissed, could feel those hands give his thighs a hard squeeze. The hand buried in his hair tugged a little tighter on those white strands, trying to pull Fen closer. He obliged, standing so that he was the one looming over Theo.

Fenris slid his tongue into Theo's mouth and Theo melted into the kiss, eagerly submitting to him as his hands clung to Fenris' soft hair. More soft whimpers left his mouth as Fen rumbled out some low noises and dipped his tongue in deeper.

He found himself tilting his head right back, letting Fenris plunge his tongue practically down his throat. He tugged Fen closer as they kissed, getting the elf standing right between his opened legs, and without meaning to, Theo found himself slowly leaning back further and further, until his back touched the table. Fenris followed him down, never breaking the kiss…his hot body and all that cold armour pressing Theo down into the hard wooden surface. His legs and arms wrapped around him, his hands tangling in endlessly soft white hair.

Theo groaned as Fenris' spiked armour pressed into his skin, at the same time sharp gauntlets dug into his scalp. It was the perfect counterpoint to the softness of Fenris' lips, hair and, skin and the gentleness in which his other hand cupped the back of his neck, with Fenris' lyrium laced fingers sending delicious shivers all the way down Theo's spine.

"Gghhnnnghh…" Theo groaned.

Theo's hands roamed up and down Fen's back, tugging at his armour, wanting to feel bare skin against bare skin. Wanting this gorgeous man to be buried to the hilt inside him. He bucked his hips up shamelessly, rocking his hard and aching cock into Fen's hard as steel length.

They both groaned, loudly, and Fen's hips snapped down hard in response, forcing a ragged cry from Theo's lips.

"Brother?" Bethany's voice suddenly called out, and Theo's mind suddenly remembered where they were…. _who_  was watching. His eyes flew open, just as Fen's did, both of them breaking the kiss. Fenris' eyes were swallowed up with black, leaving a thin halo of forest green iris around the edges of his pupils. His cheeks were heated too, and only getting redder by the minute as he pulled away from him completely and ducked his head, hiding behind a fringe of messy white hair. Theo swallowed thickly and stood up, adjusting his clothes to try to hide his arousal. He glanced at his siblings, finding them red-faced and avoiding eye contact with him. Everyone else was watching raptly, clearly just as aroused as he was, except for Varric who was scribbling at speed in his journal.

Theo cleared his throat and dragged his hand through his hair. "Uhh."

"Fuuuck me," Neri blurted.

Anders chuffed of a breathy laugh.

"No, really," Neri said, glancing at her boyfriend. "Fuck me. Now."

Anders' eyes immediately darkened and he nodded, taking her hand and standing.

"Oh no you don't, not without me!" Isabela said, also standing.

Varric chuckled. "Guess that's goodbye, then. See you, Blondie, Freckles, Rivaini," he said with a nod to each of them.

Theo gave them an embarrassed wave goodbye and cleared his throat again. "We should get outta here too."

"Good idea," Carver said, standing abruptly. "I'll walk you home, Merrill."

"I'll join you," Bethany said, still avoiding eye contact with Theo.

His siblings left with Merrill, leaving Theo to walk back with Fenris, alone.

They didn't say anything until they were nearly at the house, both of them too awkward and embarrassed to address what had just happened. Theo was still rock hard and he knew he needed to rub one out before bed, not that such a thing would take long; he was pretty sure three strokes would be all he'd need before he popped off tonight.

He couldn't  _not_  say something though. So he stopped walking. "Fen?"

"Hawke?" Fenris replied, stopping and turning his head toward him, without actually meeting his gaze.

"I…that was..."

One luminescent eye finally met his gaze, searching his face, clearly trying to read him. "Yes?"

Theo stepped closer to him, expression softening. "…Incredible."

He was sure he spotted Fenris' cheeks flush further as the elf ducked his gaze again. Theo stepped closer still and gently took Fenris' hand with both of his. Fenris didn't flinch away, just watched him curiously and Theo smiled at him, the booze still in his system making him bolder. "You're a damned good kisser, I hope you know. Can't say I'd mind kissing you again. Or a lot. Or all the time…"

Fenris swallowed, his throat bobbing with the action, but his back straightened somewhat. "You are drunk, Hawke." Fenris pulled his hand free, body stiffening. "It is the only time you want such things."

Theo didn't get a chance to reply before Fen carried on walking, shoulders back to their usual tensed state. Theo watched his back, body slumping. "It isn't," he whispered to the wind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Couldn't have all that smutty goodness without some angst though, now could I? XD


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